YOU KNOW YOUR MUM IS A NIGERIAN IF.....
1. when she says "Get my kini" and believes with all confidence that she gave birth to a mind reader
2. when you say "mommy, I'm Sorry" and she replies "Sorry for yourself"
3. when you ask her where you should drop something and she says : “drop it on my head now."
4. when she brings food wrapped in a nylon bag from a party.
5. When you say: “mummy, I have malaria” and she replied: “why wont you have malaria when you have been pressing phone since morning”
6. When you say: “I came 2nd in my class” and she replies: “soo the person that came first has two heads, abi?”
7. When she takes the dstv remote to work, just to punish you.
8. when you’re watching tv with her and then she sleeps off and still doesn’t want you to change the channel
9. if when you tell her you are going to friends place and she be like: when last did they come here to play with you?
10. when your mum asks you if the food is enough and you reply no and she says go and drink water
11. when she tells you if I hear Peem, you will hear ween.
12. when she touches hot pot comfortably without a napkin
13. when with one look she tells you, you will get the beating of your life when you get home
14. when you say: my wedding will be baaaaaaaaaaad and she replies: God forbid. Your wedding will not be bad in Jesus name
15. When she tells you: 'I didnt kill my mother, so you cannot kill me'
16. When she calls you from your room upstairs and then sends you back upstairs to bring her purse...
17. When you ask her to help you with your home work and she advised: go and meet your brother. You then say, so you don’t even know it and she replies: Awon ebi baba e ni olodo. (it is your father’s family members that are dullards)
18. When you ask her to refund the money you lend her and she tells you "all the food you've been eating at home nko?"
19. if she is more accurate with her slippers than Robin Hood is, with arrows.
CELEBRATE THE Nigerian mum.
Choi back then,if my Mama tells you to walk towards her eh,just know that your ears are in trouble!..LOL
LOL very apt minus controlling the tv and remote.
ReplyDeleteMy mum would just draw your ears from outside till we get to d house if she sees u playin without doin wot she askd u too. She.l alsi slap your ears 2geda. Chai those days o
DeleteLooool! My mom is guilty of almost all of them!
DeleteAnother one she does expertly is to shout and shout and then end her rants with "after you people will say I'm shouting" loooool!
Stella that's jare. You have made me laugh this morning. Make I call my momma sef
when she say,( my friend will you stop that).I actually say it to my daughter as well.
DeleteBuahahhhahahahhahahaha
DeleteLMAO. So true. Except no 19 n ofcourse d dstv remote. Cos na we dey hide am from her especially wen she wants 2 watch same movie Africa magic don show like 1mil dat week n u need 2 visit telemundo. Chie even till date if myself n my sister visits we still do that e her.
DeleteNumber 5!! Any issue at all is cos u were pressing phone or using earpiece!!! Lol
DeleteGoing through the write up just reminded me of my mum. I so miss her "wipes tears" wish you didn't have to leave so soon. She was so guilty of almost everything on that list.
DeleteMy own mama own dey like 3 here, especially number 18 so I don't try it again
DeleteMy mum is so guilty of almost all, especially that changing of channel, she'll sleep off watching one boring drama on AM and wake up from her sleep saying "where's the drama I'm watching " and me and bro will b like "ha mummy were u watching it in the dream"?and anything she throws at u must hit u real bad LOL
DeleteLmao, Stella you have made my day, despite all I love my mum, she will call you from the room to give her the cup in front of her, lol.
DeleteLol,so so true.
DeleteLuv u mum
Hahahhahaha, my mum is guilty of 3,11 and 18.... No bi small oo
DeleteLol I'm very guilty of a lot of this. I'm always saying put it on my head ( what I mean is use your initiative, you are not a baby).
DeleteSorry for your self
Mehn the party takeaway is essential ooo. Nothing better than food you didn't cook yourself and that's at least 1 meal you don't have to worry about
Another one I do is see your head like calabash , then I go your head is not like calabash in Jesus name.
Kids can frustrate
Lol. My mum is guilty of a few up there. I'm guilty of numbers 9 and 15. I told my 12 year old this morning that thank God he knows his grandmother ( my mum) is still alive. Lol
DeleteHehe,my mum is guilty of no8,I dnt jst understand her...she will b sleeping nd if I wnt to change d station frm channels,she will b shouting mo n gbo news oo,e n gbo news, e de ti sun lo,ok i will ask her wt did u heard last?d nxt reply is eti n dun baba e ni,funny woman...may her days be long 4 me.
DeleteAwww! Looool! My mom sent me this link!!! Love you, mom :)
DeleteHahahaha! My Mumsy will speak in my language and say ' you won't dare do it' that's after you've done the deed o! Just know u r dead that day...
DeleteStella #18 goes for South African mothers too. Hahahhahaha!
ReplyDeleteHaha my mum is guilty of #8
DeleteNo 8 for my mom.Chai
DeleteOMG!! I can so relate. Bwahahahahahahaha I miss u daily mummy.
ReplyDeleteContinue to Rest in the Lord Nwanyi oma.
It is well with you.
DeleteThank u love.
DeleteAmen
Delete#WhiteDiamondOut
I miss my mum too....
DeleteChai cancer na demonic disease. ...
They are in better place@Chy and Orela
DeleteHahahahaha...
ReplyDeleteThis is so hilarious...
My mum will always curse you with "all these things you are doing to me,your children will do same to you"...
She can't go a day without telling me those things then...
Am yet to see my children misbehave...mtcheew
Biko,I am a correct 24th century mummy!..
I don't train my kids this way...
@the queen, abegi shut up your toto there. Your children only took after their father.
DeleteHian! 24th century bawo? Nne imukwa anya? Please we are still in the 21st century. I must belong tinyere anyi na onudu anyi no taa.
DeleteMothers chai. I dont like that cursin thingy. Wen I started working and started givin my mum monthly allowance and buyin her things, she'l say "your children will do all these good things to u" I now told all those times u told me my children wuld do wot I did to u nko? She laffd and said hian dat she was just jokin that she alwaz rebuked woteva she said then immediatrly after saying it. I just smiled. In my mind I said dis woman ehn
DeleteI guess your kids are still very young to give you such stress, just give them time.
DeleteYour own be say na pepper soup you don enter so as na boys you born, you go soon start to dey see the magic.
You wey be talkative so, your own go even pass the one wey your mama dey tell you, when the theatre start.
True and she never accepts that she also did it to her mother that's why u are doing to her but she wants your own children to do it to u lool.. Mothers!!
DeleteHmmmm, dint xperience all dese o, had a terrible childhood, d worst actually, it's no wonder why am so messedd up. Parents plssss don't leve ur kids, train dem up well
Delete*dat messsed up silly girl*
Yes o! My fellow Correct Mom on point babyyy!
DeleteThis is soo funny!!
Hahahhahahahaahhaaaha
Let her make d mistake of hearing ur friends address u by ur English name and she wil ask you what happened to ur Igbo name.....hahahahahhahaha
U sit wit ur legs open...next thing u wil hear "Nwanyi Yoruba mechie,meepee"
Translation:Yoruba woman,close,open
Hahahahhahahahhahahahahahahaha
U guys don't do it housechores,u wil hear her" none of u wil eat in dis house today"
Hahahhaahhahahahaahahhahaahahha
Yes o! My fellow Correct Mom on point babyyy!
DeleteThis is soo funny!!
Hahahhahahahaahhaaaha
Let her make d mistake of hearing ur friends address u by ur English name and she wil ask you what happened to ur Igbo name.....hahahahahhahaha
U sit wit ur legs open...next thing u wil hear "Nwanyi Yoruba mechie,meepee"
Translation:Yoruba woman,close,open
Hahahahhahahahhahahahahahahaha
U guys don't do it housechores,u wil hear her" none of u wil eat in dis house today"
Hahahhaahhahahahaahahhahaahahha
Odi,you can decide not to be shackled by your messed up upbringing, especially now you know better.
DeleteOnly you can change you.
It's well.
#WhiteDiamondOut
My mum says parental curses don't happen to children. Apparently they forgive u after those cursing and reverse it. It's true.
DeleteMothers
ReplyDeleteI can relate to everything here,lols,my mum can give u resounding "Abara" ur life won't remain the same. Well I dnt regret any of it...God rest ur soul Momma.
DeleteMumsie....flogging or beating is forbidden in our hime, so the only option left is threat and gestures:
Delete1). Mum why is Mrs Oba and hubby not living together again. She replies Nekwanu mu anya oo, nwataa alako kwana mu na Fada(meaning please mind your damn business. Don't put me in trouble). Hahahaha. She knows every o, she no wan make children hear.
2). Mum is mixing condiments and ground beans and shakes the maggi container and it is finished, no one informed her before hand. You will have to bend d mortar, stand on it and face d wall, till Moi Moi is done. Shikena.
3). You going out and apply too much make up, Mum goes like " bia I na ashine kwa anya, mmadu emetu kwana Ife yi aka'. ( if you like be shining your face with cosmetic powder let no man touch your kini o). Hahaha.
4). You get a call, and Mum calls you Adaku it's your call, then she'll quietly sneak upstairs go pick the extension, after munching your ' lovely conversation', she will later ask you, so "that your Bobo what's his own? Haaaaaaa. Akara agbasaaa nu. I go wan faint.
5) Please help me fry the ice fish and chicken breasts, I'm making stew at 5pm. And I go like , but Mum no na, you know I don't like frying. And she replies Odiegwu, asi Onye oshi Jide okuko. Hahaha. I love fried chicken eeeh.
Too many Stella. Too many. All Moms rock!
Lmao@mmadu imetu kwana ife yi aka!!!!!
DeleteHehehehehehehe
XP i just fell on love wit ya Mom
DeleteHahahahahhahahahhahahahaha
"Wozop Woman"
Hahahhahahahahhaha
Mmadu emetukwana ife yi aka....CHAI....
Hahahhahahaha Ina à Shine anya
My mum is so guilty of the 'awon ebi baba' thingy....
ReplyDeleteAll I do is tell my maternal cousins ' awon ebi Baba ni olodo'. You should see my mum's face.....kikikiki(She is related to their father)
Proud African mothers...... They are always unique in their own ways, i love my mum. I love african women
Delete#abbytohxoft
Lmaoo. You are so mischievous
DeleteOut of the 19 examples up there, my mother does at least 13 of them. I can see myself already using the same tone on my children lol.
ReplyDeleteClick on my name to get superior quality virgin human hair. Free delivery service to anywhere in the UK.
True talk, the hot blood still dey flow na, I don't even know why mothers give birth to kids who will eventually do thesame if not more than they did.
DeleteI don't understand, is it also supposed to be hereditary?
Lol! You're right, most Nigerian mothers are like that.
ReplyDeleteIf she called you once its 6pm and goes "so its not getting dark where you are abii?
ReplyDeleteIf she always has a mood swing in the morning...lol
Haahaaahaaa...woooow..u re right..I love this
DeleteMy mom too!!!
DeleteOwu chi ejibehu ebe ino(is it not dark where you are?) lolzzzzz
DeleteHahahahaha no 2,7, 15 is so me, and*with all the duffer I suffered and am suffering for you, you want to kill me abi* lol
ReplyDeleteNumber 5 describes my mum..
ReplyDeleteIf u complain of headache,na fone pressing cause am.
U complain of painful period,na fone still cause am...Kwakwakwakwa
Me dt can press fone for Africa...If my phone na human being,e for don kpeme.Except i'm busy,den I switch off totally.
That woman is dramatic..My mum is a typical Nigerian mum...hahahhahaha.
I love her like dat.she's my bestie/amebo partner..Every every.
S/O to all mothers here and futuristic ndi nnen includin moi( believing God for ejima)
Wen she screams ur name and adds " come here" to it,just know u'r in for it dat moment.
Deletelol,I don see my companion...I can press phone for Africa too nd mum would always talk
DeleteMy mom is here for omugwo and immediately I complain that I have a headache... you hear:
DeleteIphie dosatu phone gi
Apizila phone
Owu phone a ina api..lol
@ Iphie dearie, Hahahahahah. Dosatu phone gi.
DeleteMy mum is guilty of no 9 when I was growing up..lol...she luvs counting sha and reading meanings into evry lil move..lol...luv u mum
ReplyDeleteI didn't grow up with my mum and my stepmum was sent from hell! So all these motherly talk doesn't move me. Though I hope to be a good mother...
DeleteWhen e reach fathers, I get plenty tory! RIP Greatest father of all time!
@ Stella Maris truth is my mum beat she gets jaguar comot my body and did most of everything in this post...but if it were a step mum I would call her someone st from hell but cause she is my mum we all grew up and laughed over it...
DeleteI miss you mum.....I miss you so much....It ain't easy
Hahahahaha Stella this is epic. I love this, so true.
ReplyDeleteYour comment will be visible after approval
My mom and ears... if only my ears could talk, I'm sure they will still have beef with my mom up till now. These ears of mine have seen it all
ReplyDeleteTHELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeleteFunny post!!,my mum did and is stil doing most of the listed points...
Hahahahahahahaha
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
This is funny cos I was just reading the same thing on my friend's wall. And BOOM.. it's here too lol.
ReplyDeleteOK..here we go....
When she tells you- "Read your books oh..that's what I sent u to school for..dont follow boys "
When she threatens - "If I'm truly ur mother and u sucked these my two breasts (hitting hand on chest).. then you'll listen to me"
When she brags- "all my mother's children know how to cook cos my mother is a good cook..so u must learn "
When she admonishes - " respect ur husband oh, he says your voice is too loud"
Abeg I no remember again jare. Ok bye
That breast part got me. My mum's group
DeleteHahahahahahhaha,lwtmb....kai this is damn hillarious and so true...2,9,10,11,15,18..my mama was and will ever be the best.
ReplyDeleteEven in my next 5 lives ,I'll still want her as my mom and will want to re-live my awesome childhood....continue to rest in the bosom of the lord(miss u mommy)...*teary smile
Hahahahahahhahhahha so true
ReplyDeleteTold my mum my back was paining me...her epic reply: enh henh na all the fat from your broad shoulders. I love her beyond words and expression though.
ReplyDeleteMy mum chaii Drama queen, she turned the tv backwards one time, as kids we enter parlor we were wondering what happened, she said No more tv in this house, me&my brothers froze!!!hahahahahahah, it was her friend who came and begged, she then told my older brother oya turn it back,lmao!!!Now we are all grown up and we tease her about those things.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha, seriously?
DeleteChoi! Mothers ehhh
DeleteMy mum will beat you and when you cry,she will beat you more so you can keep quiet. All the money we were given by family friends,uncles and aunties,my mum would help us 'keep' them and when we ask,she would say "I used it to buy your Christmas clothes". Hehehe.
ReplyDeleteYes ooo if you cry too loud I beat you more. You want the neighbours to call police for me?. The rage
DeleteFunny
ReplyDeleteSuper mum chai when you tell her let's cook rice instead of beans and she be like this is my husband's house when you marry your own cook what you like Aarrrhh lol mothers eeeehhhhhh they make the world go round
ReplyDeleteLol
ReplyDeleteNija mums lols. When u ask for money and she tells u 'come and cut my hand and go and sell it to get money'. Am nt training my kids dat way, way bak my mum trained us using native language and crude methods, but i am an educated and civilized mum, i talk to my children and relate with dem maturedly using English language. I wil simply explain to d kid dat am short of cash nw, will give d money later.
ReplyDeleteGan sit down !!
DeleteSo civilized mothers don't talk to their children in native tongue? Congrats oh. I actually wish my folks taught us our native tongue. As for for money I remember even if my mum doesn't have the whole cash u want she must still find something n give. My mum is the bestest soft spoken and gentle. Too gentle sef if u ask me cos I feel pple try to take advantage of her. I want to give my mum n dad everything.
DeleteHahahahaha, my mum will say 'come and sell me na'
DeleteWhat will happen to their native language?
DeleteSo if they speak it,you will ban them from the house?
Slave mentality!!
Emancipate yourself jooor
In a world where "civilized Moms" do their best to ensure their kids speak more than one language if possible, you only communicate with your kids in English?...civilized indeed.
DeleteDo you know how many American children speak Spanish or one other lang apart from English? Better teach ur children native language else be rest assured they'll hold a grudge against u for it. Pls it's important oo.
DeleteHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah God help me ooo lolo, I hear am from my mother and now me too is guilty of some.
ReplyDeleteWhen momsy yells ur name from her room and den u race down dere thinking something is terribly wrong only for her to tell u to help her call your YOUNGER sister for her. Chai! Wetin make u no shout her name directly knowing fully well say she dey house.#willalwaysloveumom
ReplyDeleteYetinde says iya titi's own is awon family baba e loo n baa wii.LMAO.
ReplyDeleteYes o especially using the eye 2 spak a thousand words and be smiling @same time
ReplyDeleteLol. Mums are really the best. N0 18 is so my mum and there was a time she was dishing out food from the pot and I was looking at the pot, the next thing I heard was 'if I use this spoon slap that your face hennn! Omo, I had to quickly face the ceiling. I no fit shout.
ReplyDeleteHahahahhahahahahha
DeleteDis cracked me up
Mothers! Wots wrong in looking inside d pot? Hahahahhaha
Hahahahahhaahhahaha my bele eeehhhh
DeleteGW,looking inside to them means you are exhibiting traits of greed and ohi.. bbwahahahahahahahaha!!!!
DeleteLmaOooo, very funny! Can't stop laughing
DeleteI'm a 21st century mum, but I do all those. Gotta love 9ja moms, esp when u have boys/opinionated kids. U have to devise a way, if not they'd swallow you up. Lol
ReplyDeleteChai my worse was'Chioma come here and get the remote for me and guess what the remote is just in front of her' Hissssssss
ReplyDeleteChai! My mum got 15 out of the 19!! I simply love her. This is so nostalgic esp now that she's getting old.
ReplyDeleteYou are the best, Mum. Thanks for everything!!
It's funny how u think only ur mum does somethings but then u realise it goes for every mother. .I remember when my mum will be chewing something ans u want to beg..and I ask
ReplyDeleteMe: mummy what are u eating?
Mum: I'm eating dog's ear..
Hahahahhahahah..I go just weak. .I love that woman die. ..I pray to God to restore her divine health back to her. .
Hahahahahaha
DeleteShe is eating nti oke....
HahahHabahahaha
Hahahahahah chai I wan die for laugh mothers are epic
DeleteReal dog ear!!! Hahahahahaha. Oh Lawd. This is so my mother
DeleteMy mom assumes we are mind readers, she will start her gist from the middle and then get angry when you ask her who is she referring to?
ReplyDeleteShe will say bring my bag,meanwhile she changes her bag daily but leave some items in the other bags,thereby confusing you.
My mom will call you to come outside and give her an item or phone that is beside her. She is guilty of almost all except the party food. For my mum eating at parties is forbidden,she will say " only you will die when you get initiated into witchcraft through food.
You must greet her with the right tone of voice if not problem, if she is beating you and you run- problem, if you stay she will say so you want to show me you have power now and can withstand pain abi? My mama na fire.
Lmao@you want to show me you have power!!!
DeleteI am having so much fun ooooh
My mum will say she will give u 6 strokes of the cane and when she gets to number 5 she will tell u "oh u rubbed hands that means u cleaned it,i will start all over again" and she can also tell u to kneel down from 1pm to 6pm or fly like an aeroplane while kneeling down. God bless my iya Lati!
ReplyDeleteHahhahahahahahhaa @ u rubbed ur hands dAt means u cleaned it
DeleteBlog prefect ur mom harsh ooo...Lolz
She was a teacher o.now she is 73 and super soft.
DeleteMy mum is guilty of all of them ,infact when she came visiting UK recently ,she was sleeping while the TV was on ,I said to her mummy ur sleeping should I switch off the TV ? No leave am on I still dey watch . Lmaao,after awhile I just turned it off.
ReplyDeleteNo 3 and 18 in particular is my mum, we were sworn enemies back then and would always run to my dad for protection... but now I just laugh when she give those attitude.... she crack me up daily.... I love my mum, African mum rocks
ReplyDeleteAfter talking for 2hrs, Nigerian mum be like"let me stop talking before you say I talk too much"
ReplyDeleteThis line pains me ehn. My dad will always say, u've said everything na, Margaret thatcher.
DeleteIya Doyin LMAO guilty of 18 out of 19, love her silly
ReplyDeletehahahahaha,my mum is guilty of almost all
ReplyDeleteLol
ReplyDeletemy mom would flog me and still ask me not to cry but I sabi cry, then I'll receive another round of beating for crying
Am guilty of #16
ReplyDeleteProud of Nigerian mum
ReplyDeleteEven if I am sleeping,pls don't change my channel.
ReplyDelete2. My slippers is my weapon. Fiam. My son will do something n as we are talking,he will say,Missile next n run. I didn't know wot that meant till he told me. Now,I say,missile next n we'll all laugh.
I will be downstairs,call him ,he'll come down n I'll send him to bring my phone from my room. Yes,I didn't want to shout.
That dstv is so true. I take d smartcard from d room decoder cos they watch Nickelodeon till midnite. Again,nobody should come to the sitting room. Stay in your room n READ.
Bring the sweeper for me.
Oya sweep. You don't have respect abi?.
Bring a glass for me?.
Mummy what do you want to use it for?.
I want to crawl inside n sleep.
(they asked so as to know d one to bring).
My son is a pre-teen n eats a lot.
He'll say,ha mummy this food is just for first round. Big boys need three times of that o. I'll say,after eating,where the food dey enter?.
I have headache mum?.
Why won't you,when you press phone morning till night.
Oh,you people don't want to eat beans?. Ok. I wont cook any other thing in this house till that beans in the pot finishes.(as if I eat beans)
Lol @ crawl and sleep inside glass. Irene B, ji ri wayó biko
DeleteOmg!!! I am turning into a Nigerian mom.
DeleteCan't remember what my little brother did and on my way out,i took out the dstv smart card *covers face*
That is like the worst punishment evurrrr!!!
I came back and his face was swollen like puff puff..
Kikikikiki
Hahaha! My daughter is crying as I'm typing cos they re giving her beans n I just brought cain n said if I am pim again ehn! Me no dey eat beans oh! Choi mothers!
DeleteMy kids dont like beans either......but i learnt to mix it up with plaintain or custard......They seem to be enjoying it more with it than just beans on its own.
DeleteWen she beings home cabin biscuit n groundnut frm meeting, wen she u laugh n she replies ur ar laughing @ ur calamity, wen she keeping listening 2 akanchawa over n over not allowing anyone watch Anytin else
ReplyDeleteLol @ laughing at ur calamity
DeleteHahaha @ number 16. So true my mum can send message for Africa. When she misplace something she will like everyone to help her find it. She will be like, I keep it here all of you should look for it whereas she forgot where she kept it.
ReplyDeleteLol. I love my mom.
ReplyDeleteIf my mum is scolding me or any of my siblings and you reply her the next thing *so you want to beat me abi*
ReplyDeleteYou don't say a word, *so I should be barking abi**
God bless my Mum
Hahahahahhaha
DeleteWhen ur mum beats the shit out of u n stil says " u want to kill me abi?"
ReplyDeletePls who is killing who.
Love my mum tire. Best best friend ever
Chai this post is making my day hahahahahhahah I don tire to laugh
DeleteHahahahahahaha..... Very true. My mum is guilty of almost all. I remember when visitors will come to the house and dash u money. My mum will always collect the money to keep. Am sure she is still keeping the money cos if I start to calculate all my money for her hand ehen...LoL
ReplyDeleteGod bless all mothers.
ReplyDeletechoi back then,if u offened my mum she will ask to bring a cup of water 4 her and she end up throwing dat water on u lol,been a mum is not easy ooo
ReplyDeleteAnytime my grandma is jisting with her friends and I stand in from of them as if I am part of their conversation.... she will send me to bring "kini" or she might say go and bring "broom"....Thats her way of warning me to dissapear.....soo funny!
ReplyDeleteNumber 8 describes my mum perfectly. Just last night, we were watching a Yoruba movie on African magic Yoruba. At exactly 10pm, she told me to switch the channel to TVC for news, not knowing my sister had hidden the remote control. I searched endlessly for it and what didn't my mum say? I just kept mute. We ended up watching the movie to the end. This morning, I woke up to the shouts of omo a se iru e fun (Your kids will do same to you). She and my sister were on each other's throat. I jejedly did my official chore and went back to my room.
ReplyDeleteHahahhahahaha Mothers ....Chai
DeleteNumber 8 describes my mum perfectly. Just last night, we were watching a Yoruba movie on African magic Yoruba. At exactly 10pm, she told me to switch the channel to TVC for news, not knowing my sister had hidden the remote control. I searched endlessly for it and what didn't my mum say? I just kept mute. We ended up watching the movie to the end. This morning, I woke up to the shouts of omo a se iru e fun (Your kids will do same to you). She and my sister were on each other's throat. I jejedly did my official chore and went back to my room.
ReplyDeleteLol... My mum will always tell me to use my tongue to count my teeth.. Used to try to wen I was younger.. Smh
ReplyDeleteMy mum is guilty of all!!
ReplyDeleteI love you mum!
ReplyDeleteSo true.
ReplyDeleteLemme add a few.
When you still sleeping at 6 in the morning, "so day never break for your eye abi?"
When you cut your slippers/sandals, "so your leg don turn razor blade?"
When she asks you to get something without properly describing where she kept it, "your eye blind? With that big, frog eyes you get, you no dey see?"
When your friends mouth off to you and you tell her, "them carry your mouth go market?"
When my cousin came 17th outta 18 ppl in class, she asked, "so your own na to carry first from back abi?" That one cracked me up for days.
Sweet momma. God bless Nigerian mums jor
LMAO....
DeleteChai ur mom na drama queen...
M soo looving dis post
Hahahahahahahaha I love this blog
DeleteKikiki@carry first from back..
DeleteI don fall for ground!!!!
Hehehe. Drama queen na small. Space no go reach if I type everything she says. I wonder where she gets these things.
DeleteMy late mum will say... you must finish that food o with a pistle (akodu) in her hand. Hahahaha
ReplyDelete@akodu.....Hahaha
DeleteI think my Dad was more on our case though
DeleteYou over sleep in the morning and you feel someone moving up and down in our room chanting "Princesses of Egypt" Kwakwaoooh only that one alone can take the sleep away from your eyes cos next na cane! Chai
LMAO @ Princesses of Egypt.hahahahhaha
DeleteLmao! Dis is sooo funny @princesses of Egypt. I can imagine!
DeleteMy daughter just read dis, -said l scored 12 out of 19, so l passed. Proudly nigerian
ReplyDeleteMy mom's slang at every given opportunity wen d food I made has comma is 'Kikekike Ile oko ya'... means u too start saying u want to marry nw o.
ReplyDeleteLmfao! !! I can sooo relate with dis
DeleteSo very tru...my momsy fit stone u anytin wey she c o!spoon,comb,slippers,turner garri,broom...even knock on d head...n she no go miss any...I still lov her though
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha. My mum does all of it. We've nicknamed her lion / mopol. When she's flogging u and u rush to take the cane from her, she'll start shouting that u want to flog her and she'll start crying. Kai!!! My mama is dramatic sha
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahHaha
DeleteKwakwakwakwa
DeleteImagine!
Your mum na correct drama queen.
#WhiteDiamondOut
My mum is guilty of 15 out of dis....jesus!!!!i can't deal
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahahaaaaa, I've laughed so much. Mothers are the best . 13 and 16 remind me so much of my mother. Lol Mum u are the best. I love u so much
ReplyDeleteLmao, Kai! This is so true
ReplyDeleteWhen she sends u on an errand and u ask how u should go about it......she goes....."Put ur head on d ground and ur legs in d air"
ReplyDeleteWhen she's eating and ur eyes are in d food ....."I no go die for una"
When she remembers all ur atrocities...in the order they occured
When she sends u on an errand, u refuse to go and she totally ignores u for d rest of d day and d next.....until u start looking for chores to do to break d silence
When she wants to scold u and she starts with..."Itogo un agboho (u r now a big girl)...they can't be 2 captains in a ship.....one has to go...look for whr u are goin to"......inorder words..go marry ur own husband when u use her scarf or slipper just once....fastforward to 3months later and she can't find it (mind u she has used same item severally within dis period) ........"Bia maris where is my scarf u wore to church d other day.....look for it and give to me .....i want to make use of it nw".....shuo
When she tells u male friends r only supposed to hv male friends and females only female friends
When she tells she was a model child growing up
When she tells u...."If any of u dont know hw to cook or take care of d home when u get married, i'll personally come and tell ur husbands that i tried my best as a mother...that the fault is all urs".
When she tells u "when i was ur age...i worked and worked and worked.....i never rested ...always busy.....never complained......this generation is so lazy"......just because u put off some chores to do them later........lol
The list goes on biko
Lol at d last two u added. My mum is si guilty of them.
DeleteHahahhahahaha
DeleteMarís o....u are right ...dat when i was ur Age na Anthem.... Hahahahhaha
Hahaha....so typical of my mum. I so miss dat woman oh. She go go wakekeep come back with cabin biscuit and puff wrapped in a nylon for us.
ReplyDeleteNne oma...no love and care like dat which you gave. Continue resting.
Lol
ReplyDeleteI love my mum
Number 11 though
ReplyDeleteNigerian Mum rocks *smiling*
Comments here are really cracking me hup....
You know ur mum is a Nigerian if d highest sex education she can give is "now wey u don dey c ur period, if u near any boy u go carry belle" lmao
Hahahahaha my mum didnt tell me dis o. She just felt I should use my head. Infact she told me to go and bring d flyer that always pad gave us in school wen they came ti share pad in our scec sch then. She said bring it and read it. Lol
DeleteIt is well
DeleteIf you give girl belle you go marry am
Imagine telling a 12 year?
My mom made my ears big!!!*crying*...still love her nonetheless
ReplyDeleteLol @ all My mum is so guilty especially remote,My mum can flog for africa nd with garri turner lol. Only me wash cloth, arrange house,go market wen u reach aggrey road tell sumbdy to cross u wen neighbours will ask her y sending dis girl all tat she is too small her reply Shebi wen she marry dem post her cum back na una go first carry d news Lmao
ReplyDeleteBwahahahaha
DeleteLol
DeleteMy mum is guilty of 5,8 and 9...she will say y won't u fall sick wen u've been preesing phone all thru the night
ReplyDeleteSeeing Ozokwor pix alone is self explanatory of what the write should be. Ozokwor nwanyi di egwu. And she looks like my mum for real life. If I can forget all she told me as a teenager, I cannot forget number 18 in a haste. Omo, all join. Love you mamalistic.
ReplyDeleteMy mum is guilty of number5.
ReplyDeleteChai!
ReplyDeleteMy mum is guilty of some of them.
Especially, the calling your name from your room,then sending you back to go get something for her.
When you ask her why she didn't tell you to get it when she was shouting your name, she retort that,'this is not a marketplace '. * smh *
Her antidote to any pain or ache,is garlic.
She even cuts up and drinks it daily.
She has even initiated my dad to it....
I no fit abeg
I love her to pieces though.
#WhiteDiamondOut
My mom is a walking pharmacy.
DeleteI am even surprised that she has reduced it. Lol
I can relate, Iphie.
DeleteFrom onugbu,moringa,garlic.
There was a time it was aloe vera. She'll wash it thoroughly, cut out the thorns and eat up,leaving the back.
She'll tell you to go and cut from the pot,and by mere touching it, your whole mouth becomes automatically bitter.
Don't know if that stuff diffuses.
#WhiteDiamondOut
No. 4,5,8,10 and 18 describes my mum in 200 words.
ReplyDeletemake i add my mama own
ReplyDelete1...all these trouble you are giving to me,do not
complain when your children pay you back.
2.. i am going to bath,somebody should sweep the
floor,i do not want to march a grain of sand when i
get back (please whose name is somebody?)
3...chi go and cook that food..she then comes
over n be like have you pounded the crayfish? did
you wash the leaf with salt? put just 2 cups of
water. (mummy you for just come cook am na)
4...when you commit,she locks the doors,gives you
cane and picks a turning stick.one of us must kill
each other today she will say (like she seriously
expects me to flog her?set up).
5...you commit and you think she has
forgotten,then you relax..she go near you well come
double slap you..she is actually a pro at that double
slapping technique.blurred vision and ear vibrations
immediately.
6...look too much and she uses your ear to reset
your neck (my ear don turn knob kwo?)
growing up was fun esp for stubborn kids but they
helped shape us...i love my mum,she is now my
best friend..oh,and her knock could sink your
skull...when she beats you huh,you will have ti
gather momentum before you cry because you will
not be able to point the exact part of your body that
hurts.all you know is that you are in pains..lmaoo
Lmbo!
DeleteBabe,i never hear these ones from you o.
Hehehe
Strict moms
Somebody indeed!!!!
Lol
#WhiteDiamondOut
Hahahahhaha
DeleteDat one of peel yam,blend d crayfish,measure one cup of crayfish,let it not pass,unwrap Knorr,add Exactly one spoon of palm oil and den bring out 6 yellow pepper,medium-sized,not big ones,den boil d water,ibia kpozia m(den u come and call me)....
I dongerrrit....I mean I for kukuma cook d thing na...
@ white diamond,we go dey gist for house na....@Tgw,my mama worry no be small.
DeleteOMG, you just described my mum @ ibia kpozia m
DeleteOmg. .,This is so my mum...
ReplyDeleteS/o to my momma, love u like kilode. She is guilty of all xcept 7 n 10..... may God keep her for me n live loooonnnngggg. Can see lil traces when scolding my son #smiles#
ReplyDeleteIf not for my mother I will not be where iam today. The discipline and scolding pay off at last. When I remember her rules I always says in my mind 'mummy thank you'.
ReplyDeleteI remember when my mum would share something as little as few pieces of ground nuts among all 6 of us. Choi, it was better not to get some sef.
ReplyDeleteshe would pour water in the tomato paste can and rinse until it is shiny then add the water to the soup
You will be the one to prepare all the ingredients; grind pepper, slice onions etc, she'll only mix them in the pot and say she cooked the soup
She could perceive anything no matter how well you hide it. lol
She would wake up some mornings and just be in a bad mood without provocation, and then nag us to death while she cleans the kitchen that is already neat
She would stand by your room door in the morning, and call your name subtly, yet you would hear your name in the dream and wake up immediately
The list is endless jere. I love her like kilode
You commit and offense and your mum be like... Let your daddy come back. And you go on your kneels and start begging
ReplyDeleteI remember when I was in primary school and became so playful to the extent of coming 27th position out of 40 pupils. My mum nicknamed me 20far. It was soo embarrassing but I worked so hard, I was 2nd the next term.
ReplyDeleteWill always love my Iya Tomi. ..
My Mom will tellU i didn't kill my mother and you. Abi she wan flog u u run. Your own don jam u be dat. My Mom gentle sha. But she no innocent at all
ReplyDeleteI think oyher web site proprietors should take this wweb
ReplyDeletesite as an model, very clean and wonderful user genial style and design,
let alone thee content. You're aan expert in this topic!