Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

OMG!!!...What?????

I have never read anything like this before oh....ah ah!

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE CHRONICLES OF A WIFE PLAYING SECOND FIDDLE TO A SIDE CHICK

Dear Stella,

I am an ardent reader of your blog and I have learnt a lot from it especially BVs chronicles..... Stella, please treat my chronicle urgent  because I really need your advise and I don’t mind your red pen on me. Please don’t mind my errors because I am rushing to type before DH comes back. I don’t want him to know what I am about to do. It will hurt him so much because of the trust he has for me. My write up will be very long but please I beg you to give me time to express myself as this will be my very first time and I feel relief doing it.

I am a married woman with 3 kids. This year june, we will be 5 years as husband and wife. Stella this whole 5 years has been full of acting for me. I met DH through a friend of his. As at that time, DH was based in Cairo while I was in Nigeria. We got talking on Skype, Facebook and Yahoo messenger even phone calls. I wasn’t into any relationship then but DH had a girlfriend, she was also based in Nigeria just like me. DH said so many sweet things about A, let me call her A. DH told me A was the oldest woman in his life aside his mother. They are childhood friends which later grew to love. DH is 6 years older than A. I am 3 years older than A too. According to DH, he watched her grow from a girl to a woman but were later separated when he had to travel to Cairo. It was so obvious DH loved A so much because whenever we chat or call, he must surely mention A. 


We exchanged pictures, DH is just too handsome and that attracted me to him more. I started having feelings for him. I so much hoped to be the lucky woman in his life. Despite his A this and A that talk, I didn’t let that push me away from him because naturally he was a good guy , I loved him and I believed he loves me too. I got addicted to his calls and chat.

When DH was ready to settle down, he proposed to A through the phone but A turned him down. DH was so down. During our chat he told me that A turned down his proposal reason because she wasn’t ready for marriage. DH explained to me that A was the ambitious type. She was too hardworking and A is bent on being successful. DH as at that time was just an hustler without a job in Cairo. DH said A was worried that they don’t have the money yet to settle down and they need to work more. I did my best to console DH.  DH tried to get a job  but things were so difficult over there and he refused yielding to my advise to come back to Nigeria. DH waited for A till he got tired of waiting because he wasn’t getting any younger. A was busy with her career pursuit while I was waiting for DH to start something with me. A wasn’t ready, I was ready.

DH and I started a relationship. I was so happy that I had a boyfriend even though in my heart he was already a boyfriend unknown to him. DH and I went straight to the point. We didn’t beat round the bush. Please note here that he was still chatting and calling A. I know because he does tell me but I act not to be jealous because he hates jealousy. We talked about marriage but DH was financially handicapped. DH was in Cairo and I in Nigeria, if there was going to be any marriage, he will have to come to Nigeria which the money for all that wasn’t available. So I saved up and even borrowed money from my corporative, I bought DH flight ticket to Nigeria. 

Before then, I had told my parents and siblings that my fiancé was coming to Nigeria. When DH came to Nigeria, he stayed at his friends house since he had no family house in lagos. He visited my parents and he also visited A at her parents house too. Since he was around, my mom brought the idea of DH and I having an introduction/engagement ceremony before he returns back to Cairo. I discussed it with DH, he didn’t say No. So my family sponsored 90% of it all. DH friends handled the rest 10%, remember DH was broke then. It was just a manageable small parlor celebration and we went to the registry to seal it up. 

Some of DH’s family came around but not all. All this while we were planning, DH didn’t inform A. I told him to inform A but he refused. So I kept mute about it and waved it off. After ceremony, I was supposed to move to my DH house but there was no house so I remained in my fathers house. I didn’t want to be called iyawo naija so I begged my mom to give me money to process a visa to go to Cairo with DH. She reasoned with me. I got myself a visa and ticket, went with DH to Cairo. Still DH didn’t inform A. Even after the marriage, DH was still chatting, calling and exchanging pictures with A. Stella, I couldn’t do anything.


 I was powerless because DH already told me before getting married time without number that A was his life and that after his mother, it’s A. I felt guilty that he told me then, I didn’t do anything about it so why now. I thought after getting married, things will change.

I quickly rushed having children believing having a family will distract DH from A and will make him love me more but till now It is not so. I quickly made new friends who happens to be DH friends in Cairo. Attend church programs regular and was regarded as Mrs… among his female friends. Years passed, my husband no job but kept on doing petty business to survive. I on the other hand couldn’t work because I had no legal permit to work in Cairo. My visa got expired and DH couldn’t renew it. My kids and I got stranded. We could not travel out of Cairo. No money for all that. We kept on managing.

After a while, I noticed my husband call or chat to A got reduced. I found out from DH what happened, he told me A found out he got married. He didn’t tell her but his friend did. A stopped talking to DH. DH apologized but she wouldn’t listen. That was when I started snooping. I was happy that at last I was getting my husband back. I snooped virtually everyday to know what was happening in their lives and I would pretend to be so sorry for DH because he couldn’t sleep or eat. 


Reading the part where DH tells A that A was the mother of his kids and his only love… aches me most but I pretended all was well. When A found out of our marriage together, I was pregnant for my first child. For months DH and A never communicated. Those months I enjoyed DH, there was no distraction, No mid night call or chats etc. I got his full attention. Those moments were fun.

After the delivery of my first child even though we had no money for celebration because all went on hospital expenses but I was still glad I had a family of my own. Some months after the delivery of my first child, DH came home one day to tell me that A put to birth a baby boy. I was surprised and then happy at the same time that A had moved on with her life. DH didn’t look happy and I never bothered asking. I started snooping again to get the full gist. Stella note that DH does not know I snoop. He trust me in that area. I found out in their chat that A had her boy out of wedlock. I saw munched chats of some persons. A gave out her virginity and got pregnant. A was in big distress and DH couldn’t leave her alone in time of her problem. 

The father of A’s child was abusive and never catered for his son. The little money DH had, he sends to A to cater for her boy. DH and A started talking again, this time stronger than before. I kept on snooping and pretending all was well even with the heart ache I get after reading their chats.

Stella, so many things are happening now and I fear things might fall apart in my marriage which I don’t want. DH calls and chats A 24/7 even mid nights. Sometimes I leave him in the living room chatting with A. DH  communicates with A’s parents almost everyday. Its either he calls or they call to say hello. Whenever DH and A have misunderstanding and not in talking terms, DH will be so moody. He wont eat or sleep so I would know something is wrong again between him and A.  Even DH friends  are not left out. DH friends regards A as DH’s woman even at her after 1 state. Most times when I snoop, I will cry and cry and pretend to be strong. 

Stella, I did all this for 5 years and I am afraid it will continue like this if I must remain married to him and I don’t want a broken home or my children separated from their father. I have never for once ask DH questions about A. Whenever DH tells me sweet things at our private moment, I am always tempted to ask how true he is to me but I cant. I once read the part where he told A that the only two women in his life is myself and A. Stella, how could he be loving me and at the same time love A? Stella is it possible? I cant ask DH all these questions. He hates jealousy and most importantly, I am not the nagging type. I hate nagging and arguments. So whenever DH is calling, chatting and smiling or laughing with A, I strictly mind my business or play along. Stella I have been minding my business for 5 years!

Stella, A is now successful. Her hard work has finally paid her. A gave DH money to process my legal permit documents and that of the kids meaning we can now travel to Nigeria. DH that couldn’t travel to Nigeria because of no money now travels to Nigeria once in 2 months. DH calls it business trips. A got herself a luxury apartment which DH is aware of. As a matter of fact, DH friend in lagos assisted A in purchasing the flat. I saw all that in the chat. Whenever DH is preparing to go to Nigeria, he usually give me money to buy A’s son cloths, shoes and toys while DH buys A’s cloth himself except for some that he feels he might not get her size, he will ask me to buy especially her under wears. Whenever DH is coming back to Cairo, A goes to the market to buy my kids provisions and buy me Nigeria food stuff. Hmmm  its stupid but what can I do? DH and A lives together whenever he is in Nigeria. I am aware, DH tells me before leaving. When he arrives at lagos airport, he calls me using A’s phone. 

Sometimes, I pretend to say let me say hello to her but DH wont give her the phone and I would pretend to say greet her for me. During his stay in Nigeria, I try as much as I can to take my mind away from what could be happening with DH and A especially at nights. I don’t want to die of HBP. My children are still young.

Stella just last week, I caught DH video chatting while having his bath. He quickly turned it off but I did as if I wasn’t bothered. After all they live together in Nigeria so he cant tell me he never had sex with her even he never discussed it and I never bothered to ask.  After that incident, I snooped and found out that DH and A had been exchanging nude pictures and shower videos. Even DH told A that he was missing her boobs and lips. DH calls A so many sweet names. So many sweet messages, romantic pictures together that anyone will mistake them for a couple.

What baffles me most is, DH tells me they are just best friends. Stella is that true?  This whole thing is now extending to DH relative and friends. His friends in Nigeria considers A as DH woman. A now visit his parents and relation in DH home town. A gives them money. I found out that some of DH friends got jobs in different company through A’s connection. DH told me that himself and I pretended to be happy and not to be jealous.

Stella my marriage is shaking. Does DH really love me or he loves me but I love him more? I am a beautiful woman, I am not the dirty type. I am obedient and very submissive. Should I just keep pretending and acting to be happy? Is it possible for a man to love 2 women as DH claims to love just A and myself? He has said that so many time before we got married even till now. Stella, after marriage and having 3 children, I thought DH will break up with A and accept destiny as it is but such never happened instead he keeps telling A in his chat that she is his forever and no one can stop it not even I his wife because he told me before we got married that they are inseparable.

A calls my children her children and DH is ok with it.  A even pleads on their behalf sometimes. Stella please I am not yet dead. I am still alive, why should DH feel comfortable with A calling my children hers. Its obvious DH adopted A’s son as his. He had played a father role to the boy even till now. Why should he? He is not his biological father and I have seen the boy father’s picture on DH phone before. Sometimes when DH is in the living room with our children, he video calls A and DH tells my children to say hello to mummy and she returns respond and even her son says hello to my children. My children now ask me of A’s son. They tell me to switch on my phone  video that they want to talk to A’s son through the video, I will just smile and tell them to go to their father. 

Stella, sometimes I want to see A as DH side chick but I am afraid this is becoming more than a side chick. I am beginning to feel soon I will be a first wife and if I don’t act fast, DH will marry A. Stella I have prayed and fasted. Should I tell my mom, sisters or church pastor?

Stella please note that DH and I barely fight. We don’t keep malice. DH doesn’t smoke, drink alcohol or womanize. I believe A is the only woman he has ever cheat on me with and I can prove it. DH does not stay out late or sleep outside except if he isn’t in Cairo. We both go out with the children on a date. He is a loving husband and father with a good heart. My only problem with DH is A and A only. I fear the moment I begin to react to DH attitude towards A, my home will be shattered and I will loose him completely. I love my husband dearly and I don’t want to ever loose him. Please what do I do? I need your advise  urgently as its beginning to weigh me down.

Stella I am so sorry for my long epistle, I want you to understand my ordeal.

Thank you.


My dear that was a long read but well detailed and worth it.I am off commenting otherwise i would have told  you that You walked into the Marriage with your two eyes open and you have played the full for five years with your eyes closed...So why do you wanna open eyes now?...For 5 years you played second fiddle!..Even though it is possible to love two people are the same time (my opinion)this man was never yours....you took advantage of the situation and zero-ed in...

Let sleeping dogs lie and continue acting..STELLAR performance!
I would have told you more but i am off commenting for now....