SHOCKER BEFORE THE WEDDING
I will be getting married in church in two weeks time, my relationship was a no s*x relationship, my husband refused initially but when he saw that I'm not ready to give in he decided to let me be...
He said that he will hasten up the wedding so that he can have me all to himself, though something happened and one thing led to another and we had s*x.. I was in his house and I decided to touch him small to know if his pimpim is working, just one touch from him and I lost control of myself and we ate the forbidden fruit and his performance was superb...
My issue is that he came to my house this week, he didn't plan to sleep over but it started raining when he was about to leave and he didn't come with his car, the rain was too heavy that he couldn't get a car that will take him home so I asked him to pass the night in my house, both of us knew that we can't stay in the same room without something happening since it has happened before.
I stay in self con, this time around his erection was weak and if it managed to get strong after few thrusts, he will ejaculate, I later asked him he said that he was too weak that's why he couldn't perform well.
We met some days back and he confessed that he has issues with his manhood, that he can only perform well with drugs, he said that he took drugs the first time we did it, he said that he took the drugs because he suspected that something might happen, but he didn't take the drug the day he visited me because he had no plans of sleeping over..
I have been confused since yesterday evening, I told him that I don't think I can continue with the marriage since he lied to me, he has been pleading with me since then but I don't know what to do, he asked me the reason I will give to people for calling off the wedding...
He has been begging not to mention it to anyone that the embarrassment and shame will be too much, even though I don't enjoy penetrative s#x I prefer to be touched very well and I will be satisfied, I know some bvs will say that I've had s*x with others but I said no s*x to my husband.
I had it when I was younger and naive before I decided to be celibate till I met hubby,..
I'm confused right now.
Please call off the wedding......A Lie like this should be a deal breaker...Would he agree to Marry you if you tell him that you cant get pregnant? Please dont pity him, he is very wicked and you will end up cheating well well...
Only God in heaven knows what other thing he is hiding from you......He may also not have good spermzz....Abeg call it off and use whatever excuse you can to protect him.....
So I will meet a lady that is not virgin and want to marry her and she will say no s3x till marriage and she will expect me to agree.
ReplyDeleteSome men done suffer.
Any man that agree to that obvious hypocrisy is either a SIMP or has erectile dysfunction.
Zuzu wenu.
Did you also put in consideration that this guy accepted because he couldn't penetrate? Una go jyst dey yarn okpata..
DeleteYou'll also want her to marry him o.
The lady should naturally avoid you and others like you, who are still actively engaging in sin rather than try to pacify or convince your kind when you don't agree. People may live a sinful life and then later give their life to Christ. There's room for repentance and It happens to both men and women. I met a guy who has been having sex from the age of 14 taking drugs , cocaine, morphine etc, visiting prostitute every week. when he narrated the story he was in his 30s in church and he told me he has left that life of sin and doesn't want to engage in fornication, drugs or take alcohol everywhere again. I didn't even ask before he divulge everything. So does that mean because he has done it in the past he must be condemned for ever? People should go for their kind
DeleteNo be small zuzuwenu 🤣🤣
DeleteThe man was also interested because he had something to hide. No sex before wedding is a thing of choice and not by force.
DeleteWhat have you said now
DeleteLol
DeleteSo someone cannot repent of their sin? Who told you she is keeping the celibate practice because of you? Well, na women wey dey tell una say them dey do am for their husbands . If I used to be a prostitute and later decide to repent, your type cannot make me feel less of myself for not giving in to your nonsense sexual demands. After the sex what next.
DeleteIf you won't agree, you can go to the next. Is someone forcing you?
DeleteYou can prospond tge wedding for now while you both run some test and be sure the issue is what you can handle before you call it a quit. Remember is not easy to open up to people of one's health challenges.
ReplyDeleteI know he messed things up by not telling you from day one but be happy too that he opened up before the wedding. Should would have pretended to be okay while on drugs and you figure it out after the wedding.
Even if you will end the relationship, please never disclose this to anyone. No matter who the person is to you to avoid his not harming himself. If his secret is out there, he may not survive it. As a good woman please protect his health challenge and help him a little before you kiss him goodbye if you want to take that path.
The lord will give you wisdom and understanding to handle this issue at this critical time 🙏 🙏
I agree with you.....please thread softly. If eventually, you make up your mind not to continue, please and please do not disclose this reason to anyone, even if you tell your parents,your siblings will get to know and this might damage him permanently. You can kindly, give other reasons you called it quit. Thank you
DeleteHe didn’t open up Sha
DeleteHe was cut
Caught
DeleteI say it all the time that fornication is not a sure way to test a man virility before marriage.This man according to your story was disturbing you for sex even though he knew that he had weak erection because he knew he could disguise with drugs. A woman here brought a story similar to yours about how her husband performance was fire during dating but after marriage suddenly he couldn't do anythin and people all figured out he used drugs.
ReplyDeleteThe reason why I am saying this is because, I hope due to this your experience you won't think this is a good excuse to fall back to fornicating and engaging in a sinful lifestyle you were trying to run away from all along. The next guy you meet may also be a pro in using drugs and you may not find out because unlike your boyfriend he may know how to cover his tracks better like the man in the story I mentioned earlier. So in that case what would you do after you realize you were fooled with fake s..xual performance while dating. You can't be smarter than God or help God. Going forward, if you decide to start fornicating in your next relationship just to avoid a previous situation instead of doing it God's way, the result may shock you.
The best way to know the right partner for you as a Christian is just through prayer and God will reveal a lot to you. The issue is not even the weak erection but his character, the man in your story is a liar and very dishonest and for that reason alone God would have prevented you from getting to the stage of being married in a few months time if you if you had let God lead you.
You don't have to go ahead and marry him if you don't want. I dislike people who try to lure others into marriage before they reveal everything that's needed.
When next you are dating someone make sure you have a strong boundaries and that can only be possible by having a strong relationship with God and dating men who share similar values and have sich godly standards else you would eventually fall into fornication again and again since you are the only one waiting. Also pray to a God to reveal if the person is your partner or not before agreeing to date. It says you a lot of unnecessary back and forth. No matter how good on paper the person may appear in your eyes, don't go ahead if God says no.
Kindly hold on with wedding plans while u guys get all necessary medicals done to ascertain fertility
ReplyDeleteIf he can get an erection and perform with drugs then what is the issue here? You don’t like penetration and God sent you a man with limited penetration ability and you still don’t want him, make it make sense. You are a confusing person. The only matter you should care about is the ability to conceive, like Excited stated above, go run some tests and make sure you and him are capable of making a child if a family is important to you.
ReplyDeleteHe didn’t lie to you, you setup a no-sex relationship and we don’t even know if you allowed sex to be discussed as a topic of conversation, because some on no-sex don’t even want to talk about it. He told you the truth when sex entered the relationship, so he likely would have told you sooner. You have not said that he is a bad person or treats you poorly. I am not sure that you know what you really want outside of having control. You, my dear, are a control freak!
Poster please take this advice.
DeleteYou don't have to break the marriage plans. He will adore you and cherish you all his life if you can overlook his major flaw.
Just ascertain that he can give you kids (that he is fertile). Do this through medical tests, if clear... please proceed with the marriage and you won't regret it.
This is what God has laid in my heart to say to you. Obey GOD for a happy marriage.
Best comment. You said my mind. The man didn't lie to you. He admitted he's on medication. He's even making an attempt. You also prefer to be touched,so what's the issue here?
DeleteMy ex had erectile dysfunction and was forming brother no sex before marriage.Naivd me I accepted. When I discovered,I tried convincing him to start medications but he refused.story long shaa
My dear, I just don’t get this poster. She wants to go and marry veinous gbola that can last 1 hour and come back to us to complain that he lasts too long.
DeleteAbsolutely! She's very confused. I'm also healthcare professional and I know a lot of guys out there have got problems with keeping it up. Even my husband doesn't last sometimes and blame it on stress. So poster, know what you want.
DeleteRight advice. Stick to the man . There might be a solution to his problem. Seek medical care and test his sperm Vitality. EOD .
DeleteWho has gbola with vein they're not using? Abeg borrow me
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣 Anon ooo I need it too mk una borrow us 🤣🤣🤣
DeleteHmmm
ReplyDeleteHe even planned the initial deception by taking pills to confirm
You have to move fast
See a doctor with him.
Hear the problem for yourself and whether it can be fixed
If you want to cancel this wedding, postpone it asap
After you’ve postponed it, then weeks or months later people will gradually know it’s cancelled
If you cancel people will stress you with too much talking so postpone first and cancel later
But he finally told you the truth so what if he hasn't tell you and continue to take drug and you married and discovered he was poor in bed . Anyway your own problem is not food but in bed if it is a good reason go ahead but I tell you it is worse elsewhere
ReplyDeleteHe only told her cause she caught him
DeleteThat’s not telling the truth
Why not see a doctor with him first, don't just call off your wedding like that without even trying to find a solution..
ReplyDeleteGet to know what is wrong with him first,if it's treatable or not before you make a decision..
Good one 👍.
DeletePoster, you also have an issue. You said you don't like penetrative sex, how are you going to cope with that?
Poster there's no need calling off the wedding yet. Postpone it to a month or 2 so you both can seek help for him medically 1st. You shouldn't give up on someone you claim to love that easily. What if he had said no sex that night? Would you have called off the marriage after your 1st night together? Try seeking for help 1st and if his situation is irredeemable then you can take your decision.
ReplyDeletePlease dear poster,do not disclose his health condition to anyone, not even your parents.You can both say your Genotype aren't compatible. But erectile dysfunctional doesn't mean he can't father a child. It is actually difficult for one to open on such conditions. Please don't make a decision in a haste. You can take some time off ,think through things, pray for God's guidance
ReplyDeleteThe funny thing is that there's nothing wrong with the man. It's just bad habits and performance anxiety. It's all in his head
ReplyDeleteNahhhh
DeleteExactly. My wedding night was horrendous. My husband wasn't himself. Very tired and anxious and it was my first time. Anyway, we now have kids. Occasionally, I still have to let him be between odogwu would not stand. Call of wedding because of this? With all the issues disturbing men there days, you'll call off plenty weddings, dey play!
DeleteThe situation may not be a big deal. Pls, go for medicals and ascertain the extent of the situation. Also, ask him if there’s any other thing he is hiding so they can be resolved before the wedding.
ReplyDeletePlease do not call off your wedding. Let him seek medical attention. I believe everything will be alright.
ReplyDeleteWait , guys without erectile dysfunction no dey agree with this no sex before marriage thing? Why is it mostly men with erectile dysfunction and na them full church pass pretending and agreeing to practice celibacy with a sister whom they know would never give in to sex. Once they see that they have problems with their male member, they'll just run enter church fiam! they'll look for one unit in church and be serving as a steward, or low key become a committed member of the church so that when the sisters in church see them they'll believe that they are genuinely born again, and when they tell them 'no sex' they'll oblige and the sister would say "yes o, my man agreed to it" 😁.
ReplyDeleteOh, I just remembered that I have met guys that had nothing wrong with their organ who decided to practice the "no sex" mantra. I have also met two virgin men too and I believe them . They married and had their baby, conception came so easily.
But why is the guy afraid of letting people know about his condition? Why are men like this? Women have issues with their reproductive system and they don't hide it but the men, they can even eliminate someone that they assume would let the cat out of the bag. Say your problem and get solution. The people you are hiding it from so they won't make jest of you may be going through same thing and still have the guts to come and laugh with you. This is one habit I've noticed amongst men.
Since they accused this one of be a man him come dey hate on men 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeletePlease forgive and give him a second chance! Opening up about one's health challenges is not an easy thing to do! There is no perfect person on this earth!
ReplyDeleteHospital fast, check the quality of his sperms and see if it can Father kids
ReplyDeleteI concur with you mao Akuh, poster I think if everything is ok you can work with him since you are not a sex freak🙄 once he can father children and he is a kind man and can provides for the family
DeleteI think it can be be treated sef
Na only kids she dey find for the marriage
DeleteDear Poster of this living dilemma,
ReplyDeleteYour story reads like a house struck by lightning; brief, blinding, and just long enough to show where the cracks are. He didn’t just lie; he brokered the truth like a salesman peddling dreams with faulty wiring. And you’ve been fair, too fair. This wasn’t just about stumbling on truth like a barefoot person in the dark; sharp, sudden, unsettling. It’s that he let you build a house on hollow ground, a place that should have breathed honesty.
You’re not wrong for wanting the truth. You’re not cruel for grappling with doubt at this hour. The first lie may have been small, swallowed quietly, but it planted a seed. Now, you’ve tasted its fruit. Must you wait to see it ripen? Character is the foundation of marriage. And love, true love, can hold secrets, but it rarely survives on them. This gentle pattern of pretence is its own silent violence.
The body can fail. That’s life. But if he needed drugs to be present, he needed dialogue with you, too. If you still believe in your sacred version of “us,” as you stand on the edge of the altar, take time. Delay the wedding. Sit alone in brutal honesty and walk through this valley with open eyes. Then, let truth meet both of you face to face. But remember, pity is not a reason to stay. Peace is. So honour the sacred truth of your peace.
You owe no explanation to anyone beyond your own clarity. And if your spirit already grieves what’s ahead, bless him gently and walk away. Do it before your body learns the habit of mourning in silence, inside a marriage whose bed isn’t yet broken, but the trust already is. What else, could he have softened with lies? Regrets can be very noisy in marriage.
If you don't really like penetration so much and the guy is good to you, please marry him. He opened up to you. That's not easy for a man to do. I believe if it can get up, then there must be a remedy. Just start making inquiries on what to do. I married my husband and sperm count was zero. He didn't know, I didn't know. Very scary. We have 2 kids now. They look so much like him. Please consider this
ReplyDeletePlease run very far away. Don't protect his ego. Infact,reveal it to one or two persons because he will never agree that you did him a favour. One day you'll be shocked to hear him say" why did you stay ? Didn't I tell you before the wedding?
ReplyDeleteAvoid manipulative and deceptive men . How I wish I'll narrate my own story.
There's a thing with Nigeria men, especially those 'mokole'(don't know d spelling) , they drink those things in satchet and some hawked and called' agbo jedi' . At 20yrs a guy is already drinking them,by 35-40 the thing can't function without it. That's why it's very rampant now, young guys who can't last without something.
ReplyDelete