Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Sunday In House Gists..

..

Sunday, 4 September 2016

Sunday In House Gists..

 LMAO...Unfortunately there is no money up for stakes today until we find the winner from yesterdays IHG....This is funny though...





MONEY WAHALA
hi Stella
abeg help me post this funny moment ........
everybody need money.

I come from this family where education is cherished, so my proactive
parent wanted me to write the GCE in SS2, for the experience. Even
though my sch do not allow. So I submitted a sick leave report. Sat
for the exam, fast forward to main moment, heard the GCE result was
out. So i went to the cybercafe to check, and it was those days
computer was still new. I didnt even know hw to use one so I called
the cybercafe guy to help me open the waec site and punch in the
scratch card. After doing this na so the result commot. English E8,
maths F9, chemistry F9, physics F9 biology F9 economics b3. agric E8,
Geography F9. I was so ashamed, immediately the result came out the
cybercafe guy was asking "bros na your result be this" It was like the
ground should open and I should enter. As he was asking I just
pretended like i didnt hear him, gave him 500 and pretended I needed
to go urinate. I took the back door and escaped. I didnt even bother
to collect my change sef. Just went home and slept. Till date I still
they post my parent on the results.



36 comments:

James said...

ROTFL

flakietricia said...

Stella you didn't post my gist of yesterday.

James said...

OK. By the Powers conferred on me by SDK as the Judge. I hereby declare that any bv can stand a chance of winning the juicy N10k reward with his/her own gist in the comments section. I will choose from all of them including yesterday and today own.
Why not try your luck. The money can still buy a lot of things in this Buhari time.

Anonymous said...

Hmm Stella, the things you post here ehn. I don't understand. The 1st story is about a man sexually assaulting a sleeping woman. Disgusting! . How is that in any way funny?.

OliviaSilk said...

Poster 1. You are sick.
You are even sicker to pen this trash and send to Stella.
Then you must be extremely sick to think this was in anyway amusing.
Onye mmuo dika gi.

Poster 2. Wettin you come get your second time?

Anonymous said...

Laughing out loud soooooooo phoney and interesting

Anonymous said...

Happy first Sunday everyone! The twerking in church today was so bad...lol. Rccg Gestemani parish rock so bad!

Ozone said...

Oya let the gists start rolling, both real and imaginary ones. Lols...

School Life said...

My wristwatch stopped working since it fell into
the pot of stew.. I guess it couldn't stand the
taste of thyme n curry.

neme said...

James quit d hide and sEek game. Nobody is a begger here. Na buhari cos all these rubbish. It is well. Choose a winner and flee from here dan allah!!!

daniel joseph said...

A particular day like that, I went home late from an official function and I decided to use an okada. On arriving home I alighted, paid the guy and left. As I approached the gate, i saw the okada guy following, I quickly changed my direction but the guy keep on following me, I moved faster the guy increased his speed then I realized I was in shit. I ran faster but he kept on following me even riding faster. I got tired and decided to stop, turned around and faced him like a man! So I asked him, "why are you following me" The
guy replied softly "give me my helmet" That was when reality dawned on me

OLORI said...

Where is ur sense of humour?

makky bae said...

MY FRIEND'S EXPERIENCE WITH WEED
I had just moved out of my parents house and
was sharing a room with my "friend". I had no
idea he smoked weed, despite his suspicious
movements and signature weed scent(abi na
odour?) barely two weeks after moving in with
him, my worst fears were confirmed as he started
bringing home his weed smoking buddies and
they would occassionally roll a wrap and smoke it
right there in the room or mix the weed with
beans or spagehtti.
Being a very curious person i always wondered
what made them happy after smoking, so i
decided to find out for myself(wrong move)
It was a very hot day in february, a saturday i
think it was, my friend was out as usual. I
searched everywhere for his stash but couldn't
find it so i decided to go and get mine. I arrived
the weed joint all sweaty and nervous, half
expecting to get muged but nobody seemed to be
aware of my presence there, they were all on
different planets all expect one i concluded that
he must be the seller so i approached him and
the following conversation ensued:
Me: how far?
Weed seller: i dey
Me: i wan buy weed
Weed seller: how many parcel?
Me: parcel ke? Iro oo, na just small i need
Weed seller: laughs really hard. bolo leleyi sha
(meaning this guy is a dunce oo)
Apparently, a parcel of weed is that small wrap, i
didn't know that. I thought it was something very
large.
I gave him 1000naira and he gave me a tiny wrap
of weed with a white paper, i was suprised when
he gave me 950 as change. I couldn't beleive
weed was that cheap.
On my way home, i decided not to smoke it but
mix it with beans because i thought that it will be
better that way(another wrong move). Long story
short, i cooked beans and added the whole weed,
ate it and called my friend, i told him ogbeni i just
ate weed oo and nothing happened to me this one
that you people will eat and be feeling funky, i
don chop am oo. My friend was like ehen you be
strong man oo
I decided to take a quick nap before doing
laundry, i woke up about 20 minutes later on the
floor i was banging my head on the floor, and i
couldn't stop, my heart beat was so audible and
fast, everything was extra bright and extra loud.
After a few minutes of head banging, i was able
to get up from the floor,
I felt as if i had just gained access to a part of
my mind that I never knew existed previously, it
was scary and cool at the same time. I could feel
the blood flowing in my veins(you have to
experience it to believe it. Though I strongly
advise against it) i felt so uncomfortable in the
room, it felt like i was in an oven suddenly a voice
in my head wisphered ogbeni bo aso e joor (off
your clothes) i obeyed. The voice came again oya
sa re(now run) that was when i realised that the
weed had taken effect so i decided to take a
shower to see if it will calm me down, but the
water felt so hot on my skin so hot i ran out of
the bathroom. TO BE CONTINUED..

Shennel said...

Stale

ThatEdoChick said...

James abegi which power? These two gists alone are funny enough ..All these people that Stella is giving power to choose winners sef... Stella give me the power kwanu let me show them how it is done! Ordinary choose winners una wan show unasef.. Mtchewww..

James said...

@neme, why not try your instead of complaining? If you cannot write any funny story blame it on Buhari too.

Anonymous said...

Stale,stale,staleeeeeee

Anonymous said...

Don't bother we have read it before.

Shennel said...

No need to continue anything

Tokebee said...

What did I just read?

Lovethtee said...

You don kolo

Lovethtee said...

You don kolo....rotfl

makky bae said...

I called my friend to see if he could help me make
sense of what was going on but he laughed at
me, he asked me the quantity of weed i took and
i told him i used a whole parcel, he said guyyyyy
you don eff up if you no sleep in the next 30mins,
you go mad oo go chemist make you go explain
yourself.
By this time things had escalated, i had a severe
itch at the back of my head that wouldn't go
away no matter how hard i scratched and i was
convinced that the beating in my chest was an
evil spirit that could only be killed with a punch. I
ran to my neighbour champion and told him
champion e jo e fun mi lese laya(champion pls
punch me in the chest) ti e ba gbami lese laya
mo ma ku oo(if you don't punch me i will die oo)
he hissed and walked out having had enough of
such nonsense from the boys in the boys
quatters.
The voice in my head came again iwo na o de gba
ara e lese laya abi o ti fe ku ni(why don't you
punch yourself in the chest or do you want to
die?) i punched and punched but there was no
difference.
The house was getting hotter, the voice in my
head was getting louder, the itch in my head was
getting worse, and the evil spirit in my chest was
getting louder. Then came the voice again oya ma
sare lo(start running) so i started running but on
getting outside in the sun, i felt so cold i was
shivering but that didn't stop me from running(i
would have given husain bolt a run for his money
on that day).
On getting to the chemist, i realised i was bare
footed, i told him i had a severe headache i
needed something to make me sleep immediately,
he gave me the drug and i chewed it right there in
his presence, next i asked him to give me a drug
for evil spirit, that was when he realised
something was wrong with me and chased me
out.
I got back home and tried to sleep but my heart
beat wouldnt let me, so i ran back out this time
around to a nurse in the area, first thing she
asked was kilode o wo bata ni? (why don't you
have your shoes on? I told her jackie chan ti gba
bata lowo mi (jackie chan collected my shoes) i
was finally able to explain my situation to her
and she took me in, tied something around my
elbow and injected me directly in the vein. I
passed out immediately only to wake around 1 or
2am in the middle of the night with the worst
kind of hunger I have ever felt in my life. I ate a
whole loaf of butter field bread in one sitting
without butter or tea.
I came home to a hero's welcome, my friend told
me e be like say your head no carry am but e go
better make you try am once more so you go dey
use to it. The following day while the house was
empty, I packed my Ghana must go and like the
prodigal son in the bible I went back home to my
parents. It's been a few years since that
experience but the lesson I learnt is an
unforgettable one. My curiosity hasn't gotten me
in trouble again and my circle of friends have
since changed.

sugarwhip said...

Bae the tiff. You copied nd pasted. Zilch win for you

Petitesofynsofly said...

Lolz

Tambolo Agbïsï said...

Copy copy! This gist has been posted by someone else before. At least do well to write 'copied' at the end and not pretend it's your original.

Tambolo Agbïsï said...

Another copy copy

Tokebee said...

Me too I don't understand all these kolo people that Stella is appointing as judges. Lols

#datFATuvwiegirl!!! said...

power corrupts... and absolutely power corrupts absolutely! As is the case with james. And you Edo chick will do thesame if vested with such.

Tokebee said...

Me too I don't understand all these kolo people that Stella is appointing as judges. Lols

Prof Jo said...

lmao, result cheker

this mine

Before i got admitted into Uni, i was known as a God fearing person, was even called a pastor. My parents trusted me alot. but when i got to school, flexn no gree me but my parents had no idea that i have changed. i scamed them on every school fees, especially when subsidy issue came up in 2012. Asides school fees i formulated terms in which i collect money for, like exam verification form, course prerequisite form,excursion,caution fee, sport levy, etc. mehn those terms worked cos i collected their fee every semester. I wasnt caught until my final year in 2014. After drafting out how to inflate the school fees and other irrelevant fees, i never knew delsu had introduced something new. Once you pay school fees,the send you parents the alert confirming the original amount.
In my 400l, my fees was 35k but i told them its 65k, it wasnt easy but they sent it. The moment i paid and i was leaving the bank, i saw my mum's call, i taught it was for something else,i picked and she was like 'pastor how much did you pay' i told her 65k. she told me its a lie that she just got the alert of 35k being the actual amount i paid. i was so shocked, i denied instantly. Until she read the text out and quoted my matric number out before i accepted. At this point i had to protect my 'pastoric image', i didnt know when i begin to tel her rubbish, that the rest was for other fees like computer passport, bank charges, printing, verifying, log in, virtual pin, etc.
she no gree o,I suffered for it, i had to husle for feeding and project fee. Since then en, she never trusted me again

James said...

Hmmmmmmm @ daniel Joseph

James said...

Hmmmmmmm @ makky bae

Anonymous said...

Hilarious..... Can't stop laughing. We have a winner. Soo funny. I sure say for your life you no go near weed again. Lailai

Anonymous said...

Hilarious..... Can't stop laughing. We have a winner. Soo funny. I sure say for your life you no go near weed again. Lailai

makky bae said...

I thought Stella already there's no money up for stakes today?she said so abi? So why are you still here?oya all of you out!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...