Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

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Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

HIAN!!!






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE.

WHISTLEBLOWER IN THE FAMILY

Hello Stella,

God bless the good work you do and the kind hearted BVs. I am a blog addict, your blog keeps me awake and puts me to bed. Yes it does both.
I have seen lots of chronicles and I was one of those who wondered if some stories were real. Here I am with mine, i'd like all the advice I can get.

 ‎Its a lengthy one but I plead we are patient enough to read and advice. Stella D, please I need any colour of pen, I just want to hear your opinion. Use white ink if all the colours are finished. 

We had our small introduction at the family house sitting room, no long stories or elaborate parties. I just didn't want to be a gwegs, not that I cared about marriage but my family has been talking about how important a man is in a womans life and it was my turn to get a man. Love wasn't in the offing, that's a fantasy, I no fit love anybody.

 The only love I know is my mums' and I couldnt bear to disappoint her after she had sacrificed so much. He seemed like a good option so I took it. We had our registry at the local government registry close to his sisters house. No guests, just us and two witnesses, no fancy clothes or anything, not for lack of money but because its how I wanted it. No traditional, no bride price paying, no white wedding. We would plan for a big wedding when I am actually ready to settle down. 

I signed the documents and realised I just made a mistake. We made a pact right there not to call ourselves married till we had planned and done an actual wedding. We did not even have a wedding night, we did not live together. I regretted what I had done. I did not even seek to find love, I was going to settle for the rest of my life. From then on, I sought to leave the marriage. Thank God no one knew about it save my immediate family I could trust. We had an uneventful divorce. He moved on, got married. 

I met a charming young man whom I will die for, YES. The feeling is mutual. We plan to get married by next year, I told him my divorce story, it didn't even exist to him. 

BVs, his parents are good christians, they have accepted me but they do not know I am divorced. Le Boo insists there is no point telling them, I like to be open so I want us to come clean. Besides, I have an uncle; same one who is supposed to give me out, he has vowed to bring up my divorce as a topic whenever I bring a man home again. 

He says he would show the guys family both the marriage certificate and the divorce certificate so they know what they are marrying. He is my late dads younger brother, he lives to run others down. My uncle doesn't have the papers but he bragged to my sisters hubby that I would hand them over as a condition before he meets my fiancee. He has it all planned out and now I am trapped.

How do we tell my inlaws to be that I am divorced so when my uncle brings it up they can back me up? We have thought about it over and over again, no idea seems good enough for them. I do not want to loose a good man because of my past mistake. 

Where are those who got divorced and remaried? How did you handle your inlaws‎? I would do anything to be accepted even if I am judged. I just want my forever with my darling. 

Le boo ‎has asked I put it up here to see if we can get help. I introduced him to your blog. he says women have each others back here...lol. 

I love you Stella. You are my no1 celeb, no jokes, no flattery and I am not patronizing you.


Thanks you all.




*This your whistleblower Uncle,can he not travel somewhere else on the day of the wedding?
Get someone to distract him and do a good job.DO NOT LET HIM COME ANYWHERE NEAR THE WEDDING cos it looks like whether you tell them or not,he will do the damage with whatever he says.
It is nobodys business whether you were married or not.


161 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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xxxTrinityxxx said...

It's better you tell the in-laws before your uncle talks. It shoukd come from you not him

amanda favour said...

Pray ๐Ÿ™
Pray ๐Ÿ™
Pray ๐Ÿ™
That man don't want you to get married
Pray for GOD to silence him

Doppelgรคnger said...

Why do you want to start a new life on deceit? What's there to hide? Did you kill someone? If your man loves you then explaining to his family shouldn't be that big a deal. Who doesn't have a past. If single mothers or people with very bad past can remarry and be accepted by their in laws why not you.
Start right this time and you and your man should let his family know. I don't see the big deal or why you have to hide it. Forget about your uncle and his supposed plans.
You and your partner should be truthful. His family should accept you just as he has or there no need for the marriage at all.
You don't even have a child from the union.

Rhoda Rex said...

If na me, I go climb mountain for 30 days and 30 nights, I swear. Dat day eh, he nor go know road to my compound not to talk of him attending the wedding. What Nansence!!!

Rhoda Rex said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sexy Ebony said...

But since you never love your first hubby,you wouldnt have gotten married to him,but that is an issue for another day,I know how elders behave ,they can be your lord of all when it comes to traditional marriage as far your father is dead,the only option is to tell your in-laws,is better they hear from you,than hearing it from an outsider.

peace maker said...

Madam, why are U afraid to be called a divorcee? Did anyone force u to sign d dotted lines? Accept d reality. U are a divorcee

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

May you find the desired advice.

Becky Divine said...

Stella no need to hide anything.

Poster i don't see any need for this chronicle. So long as your man loves you, doesn't care about your past and is willing to marry you despite your history...then I think you're covered!

The both of you should go to his parent's house and tell them together. Tell them the truth, after all it's their son you're getting married to not them. Do you know how complicated the whole issue will get if his parents find out by themselves?

Please you guys should not take that kinda risk, what will be will be! No matter any challenge that comes your way. Good luck

Omalichac said...

Me idea is he should just win a ticket to south africa or ghana all expense paid by you without him knowing,so far you hVe another uncle to take his place on the wedding day simple.or you talk to your mother inlaw after praying seriously over it. She may understand who knows

Anonymous said...

@ poster... You can deceive your new husband to be not some of us about how you married the first guy without any relationship or Intimacy at all, that's why your uncle is mad at you, longer throat dey worry you.. Stupid heart breaker. ๐Ÿ‘

Anonymous said...

you have only two options.

1. have him kidnapped and let his tongue be removed so that if he want to talk that day, na blood go they gush out. in his next life, he will learn to mind his biz.

2. poison him

Na Me Talk Am!!! said...

It is actually your new in laws business to know everything about you especially his immediate family. I don't see what the big deal in telling them is its not like you had a child with your other husband you didn't even live with the man. I think you guy should open up to his people about your past marriage. Do not give your uncle any power over you in this regard even if he doesn't go on with exposing you to your inlays before the wedding he definitely will blackmail you with it after the wedding.

Oluwabumsky said...

Wow this is a though one but I'll advice you tell your in-laws cos there is nothing hidden under the son the truth will still come someday it better it comes from you. All the best

PLATINUM said...

Let ur man simply tell his family abt the divorce n explain to them the marriage was sham. There is notin to fear, come clean abt it n u will not loose ur man.

Bt i dont understand y u married the other person to avoid being a gweg n nobody knew of the marriage except ur immediate family. I hv a feeling yhis isnt the entire story. Goodluck to u though

peace maker said...

U were not a baby when u first married so U knew what u were doing.
Tell ur in-laws dat u were once a divorcee .They will eventually find out and they will never trust u again. I salute ur uncle for being honest dats why he is an elder.

Victoria's Heart said...

My dear, i don't think it's a good idea to hide your past from your in laws. Since your man has accepted you the way you are, then i don't see the need to lie or try to cover up your past.

Or is your man a mama's boy? Does his parents control him? Is there a possibility he might break it off if his parents rejects you when you tell them? I hope he is a man of his own and can make decisions for himself! And if that is so, then you should tell the truth and hope as 'good Christians' that they are, they won't have any objection.


Victoria's Heart

Anonymous said...

Household Enemies!

ANGELRAY4SDK said...

Dats how u women will be making stupid mistake, u don't love a man but u went to d court to marry him, d only solution is to poison him or bath him with acid cos he's a devil.

Bedazzled party favours 07031089017 said...

Poster, is it only this uncle you have? Must he know you are getting married sef? I'd advice you don't inform him about your marriage & get someone else to stand in.

Chiamaka L said...

Hian... This one na gobe... Must that particular uncle give you out in marriage? Na wa o. He needs to get drunk or be kidnapped/ locked up in the pit toilet. Dunno how to advise you on telling your in laws. O ga o

Ajah Nneka Vincent said...

Poster if I were you I will just open up to my inlaws to be.Its not going to be rosy yes!,but this is the right time.1 wish u goodluck

Anonymous said...

This is a good lesson to girls who want to "wed in secret". There is nothing as secret wedding. When your bride price is not paid to you dad or his representative, in a ceremony (no matter how small), you are not married. When Christ paid for the Church with his blood, he did not not do it in secret; did he? It was rendered in three lingua franca of the world then; Hebrew, latin and Greek! And marriage is a mystery talking about Christ and the Church.

Listen lady, since your husband to be is supportive, just stick with him and both of you should be ready to bear the consequences even after you've distanced the spoiler. The dissidents will come around at the appropriate time. As it is from above explanations, you never married; your bride price was never paid.

Ladies as you can see, the man who signed that former "dotted lines with her" had moved on and married with kids. That is a lesson to us my ladies, we should be wise and not desperate. Looks like we've got the shorter end of the stick in these matters.

Ajah Nneka Vincent said...

Poster if I were you I will just open up to my inlaws to be.Its not going to be rosy yes!,but this is the right time.1 wish u goodluck

Anonymous said...

Except your le boo is Nt ready to stick with you why are you scared of telling his people.its better he explains to them and also let them know he is okey with it.that way you have got no worries, so the shame will be on your uncle.

Atheist. said...

If ur man knows about ur divorce & it dsnt rattle him, i dont get what the fuss is about, or can his folks influence his decision making? Technically i dont even consider that an actual marriage, altho it was documented & consummated. Its best you both come clean, so hearing it from ur uncle will not come as a shock, even if he travels to Alaska, he'd return & let the pussy (cat) out of the bag.... then theyd wonder what else ure hiding. Then if the devil you believe in decides to work overtime for you by delaying ur conception, theyd quickly assume thats the reason the 1st guy backed out, such secrets dont stay buried not even Victoria's secret, they germinate as wicked thorns, & dont think its just ur uncle that can blow whistle.

# Once youve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you - TyrionLannistar.

charitybino said...

This kind Uncle. I'm sure he has a bitter life. May God see you and your boo through. Amen

Blackberry said...

Hehehehe if God silence him, na die naaa hahahahaa

Blackberry said...

Heheheheheheheee

Duchess; Cookies n cream, Doughnut n chin chin (The mobile snacks seller with a Bsc and an Msc) said...

It is well with your soul
Yours sdkly dazzling

Anonymous said...

Well, I think yu and hubby can sort it out,he shld look fr a way to tell his pple so it doesn't shock them that day bcos it mite bring more disgrace and they ll never respect you all thru ur life , these are you inlaws, your next family.pls pray to God for wisdom and then you and ur hubby to be shld open up about that, trust me you will be happy you did and then ur uncle would be shamed.my two cent advice tho

Gamaliel said...

Dear poster.

I suggest you and your lee boo open up to your in-law to be, so as to avoid damage in the future. since you know that your uncle is made for damage, open up to them and they will accept who you are except there is something you are hiding away from your story.
Wishing you all the best in you marriage endeavor.

Blackberry said...

Just pray your prospective inlaws should have an open mind.

marriedchick said...

ask ur le boo to tell his parents and if he loves you as u claim he will make them see reason why he wants to be with u... thank GOD they are Christian so they will understand and stand with you to put that ur uncle to shame... am sure that your loud mouthed uncle have told other people about that divorce and of them will be there on that day... so I recommend you open to ur future in laws so they can stand with u.. all the best Dearie

DonMayor said...

I think this your uncle is trying to be open to whoever that's coming for you but going about it in a wrong way.
You have to arrange this your Papa brother o. Make him disappear, or inject him on the day your inlaw's are coming, so no talk for him or I don't even know else.

#inabadmood #angrysincemorning

Anonymous said...

It's safe to tell them.

peace maker said...

Poster, I strongly believe that u r being economical with d truth. Why exactly did ur first marriage collapse?
It seems u r deliberately hiding something even from ur fiancรฉ. I suspect why u did not want his parents to know is that they will make inquiries and find out d real u.
Come clean if u r guiltless.

ukwu dimond said...

poster is best you open up to your in-laws so that your uncle can die in shame on that day, no matter how you try to hide it, it must come out some day and that may bring big issues btw both families. let your to be hubby open up to his family, is better now that later. Another option is if that your uncle can visit his great grand fathers.

Push up said...

Tell your inlaws you dint marry for love but for papers but the US government refused to issue it so you left. You can also tell them your ex was a ritualist or that he was impotent and married you via deceit and you had to leave that way they would know it's totally not your fault. My dear you can also use domestic violence as a reason but make sure you do not give your uncle the documents so that when they come he would just be speaking without evidence and since they have already heard from you they will not judge you.

Anonymous said...

Th easiest moutai to climb I to say the truth.

Even if if uncle doesn't stop her from getting married, the truth could come out one day and still destroy th marriage.

Tell your inlaws.

Jumiasalesagent contactme. said...

There is no other way to tell it than than being straight forward. The wedding wouldn't hold without the eldest family member being present. So tell them if they are true Christians they wouldn't judge.no dowry was paid so how come you are agreeing to having been married. You only gave consent for future marriage which didn't go through.so there is nothing to fear. Other other hand you said you can't love anybody how come you love this 'forever'

Sonia Spence said...

Like! Like! Like!

Nonye Inspired (James Bond's Girl) said...

my dear poster: well Good you have learnt your mistakes...I don't understand why this ur uncle is being this mean. To me, If there is anyway you can opt out the option of knowing your divorce, then go with your man's advice but If your conscience tells you to reveal it , let it be known you are not the first or last to divorce and nothing is hidden under sun cos they will know at the end of the day but what I am more concerned are: 1) I hope you are not validating what your mum told u and not doing it to compensate your mum 2) are you really sure u are fit enough(pyschologially)to settle down with man after the stress of divorce??

This is a trying time for you and if your man is someone that will stand for you then you are blessed and have nothing to fear. Secondly, PRAY! PRAY!! PRAY!!! Let this be handled with all maturity and wisdom. This will reveal both you and ur man's character..It will end in praise...

Anonymous said...

Pls tell them ur self........

Chidinma Gift said...

Poster you and le boo should just sit his parents and tell them about the marriage and divorce and how you both love yourselves and matured for marriage now...
You guys can even say you where forced into the marriage by that your uncle just because your dad is late.. Better condemn and portray him as a bad person in front of his parents so that they will see everything he says as evil. Lol

Loveme Jeje said...

This your uncle na household enemy. Me i know how to deal with such people. Take prayers finish his life, that is if you know how to pray.

When you have dealt with him spiritually and physically, he will carry his kaya and run away. Better go better church and deal with him jare.

Anyway i no give you advice.

Anonymous said...

Pray that God should tie him down with his bones and his veins till after your wedding, and God should silence him forever

gorgeous baby said...

May God help you sis!!!!

popeyes said...

E don do na! You seem to be more jobless than the person you've been ranting about.

Loveme Jeje said...

Anon 15:01 are you not the jobless person here. Ideato be giving you guys organism. better go and ask God to give you too job so that you wont be trolling Ideato everytime.

Una own too much on this blog. You guys want people to be like una jobless self. If you dont take time, i will tell God to make you work like an elephant. Ewu

Chike TEFLON said...

There is nothing to hide. Let your husband tell his family about the divorce. He will not how to convince them. His family will understand, it's no big deal

MrsB said...

Three options.
-Tell the truth and pray to God they love you no matter what;
-Tell them a fantastic lie that they would swallow hook line and sinker. E.g the guy you got married to was a family friend who won the American Visa Lottery and you guys thought to do an arranged marriage so you could get papers too.
I think you should tell them the truth though. You'd both be at peace knowing there are no secrets and just imagine how silly your uncle would look when he makes his all important announcement and everyone says 'oh we already know, moving on'

Reva's cakes said...

If the marriage wasn't consummated then you were only married on paper it shouldn't bother you, you and your boo should tell his parents together they'll understand.

PinKy berRy said...

No stela, if they are igbo then I bet he must be the person to hand her over being that he is her father's blood. It would've been that way if he was just a member of the umunna.

Poster, I don know why he is bent on doing that but is there no way he can be appeased?
Na wao

popeyes said...

Na this kind Uncle stroke suppose strike a week before your introduction. May God hear your prayers, Amen!

SHAKITI BABY said...

As the prayer warrior you is naw

IJAY said...

Poster I don't think Is a good idea hiding it from your in-laws, u said ur husband to be knows about it, so both of u should go to his parents and explained things to them, it will be bad if they hear it from ur uncle, God will guide u on this, I know such type of uncles that don't want one progress. U are a divorcรฉe not that you commited one big sin

SHAKITI BABY said...

Hmmmmm.... Opolopo po.

SHAKITI BABY said...

Jamisi...be nice.

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

I think u should tell ur in-laws.... One day, the truth will surely come out.
Don't start ur marriage on deceit

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

I think u should tell ur in-laws.... One day, the truth will surely come out.
Don't start ur marriage on deceit

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

Hahahhahahhahahahhahah

olaedo said...

There is no point hiding it because no matter how you try to hide it, one day the truth must surely come out.

Open up to them and let God do the rest..
All the best.

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

You'll die on my case

youngman said...

It is nobody's problem if anybody married a divorcee or a virgin. Not even parents. That doesn't mean parents shouldn't show concern. Now no one can be another's parents so every parent has their own idiosyncrasies which we can't do anything about no matter how we feel.

Either you come clean and take the consequences even if it means your man is forbidden to marry you or you hide the fact and also face the consequences of its discovery later. Yes it must be discovered even if not from your uncle or other family member. You may be safer if its discovered after marriage. Then your husband can easily stand his grounds. Remember you deliberately cheated yourself in the first place. Since the said man would give you out, beg him. If he refuses, take your man to him so he will know that he (and his family) knows. If all fail then take it as 1 - 1 and let life continue.

Anonymous said...

Please pray over it then u and Your boo should look for an opportunity to discuss it with them. It's good u come clean when you are getting married if not your past will hunt you later in life.

peace maker said...

I suspect ur In-laws are true Christians and they will not support ur marriage. According to the Scriptures, a divorcee should not re marry if his/her ex spouse is still alive.

Scarlett said...

Do the right things darling. Inform your fiancรฉ to have a talk with his folks. I will advice that you come clean to have a happy ending. If your uncle doesn’t spill, be informed that someone else will casually inform a family member who would tell your parents in-law (imagine the embarrassment then).

Yeah! BVs gat your back but we will also be truthful at all times.

Mind you, lots of ladies are divorced and remarried. Why not use Stephanie Linus as an example(her divorced was even publicized) but she has a happy home. It’s not like kids were involved or anything. That’s my two cents.

I wish you luck!

Robyna Fenty said...

I feel the person whose opinion matters the most is this new guy. Since he knows your truth and accepts you then you have no problem. Both of you shld be honest with his family. If he is a real man he will put his foot down and insist that he wants to marry you and there's nothing anyone in his family can do(even his mom) to convince him otherwise. I won't advise you to omit that important detail of your life. Your are lucky your ex didnt pay your bride price and you didnt wed in church. The worse that can happen is that his family will twist his head and make him not want to marry you anymore but at least you wldnt be married to a man that is easily influenced by his family. Isn't that a good thing? Your uncle must not succeed in blindsiding your future in-laws cos even if you guys still marry, they will forever feel somehow about you. Both families have to sit down and table the fact that you were previously married to someone else and that your Uncle shld ask your new guy in front of his family if he is comfortable with that. The love is shacking you now but you don't know tomorrow. He might fall out of love and lie you his parents that he didn't know you were previously married and as their son that will believe him. Be wise and tell them....let the chips fall as they may. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Did you consumate the previous marriage? If you didn't, there was no marriage.
If you did, close your eyes and call your uncle's bluff. What's his own sef?

Anonymous said...

I've been in your man's situation. There was no way I could have deceived my parents though I loved her to a fault. Deep inside, I knew it wouldn't fly. And it didn't. A very nice girl. My born-again parents used different bible passages to buttress their point-as if I didn't know.i had to painfully let her go. Take this from me, tell them if he doesn't. If you don't, they will permanently hate you for deceiving them. And if you're Igbo, forget it, it might not fly. You come across as a very selfish person though.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if I should put it in here or not but here it goes...

I dated this guy years ago and ww broke up. When we did, his brother and I remained friends until one day he told me he always like me and was going to ask me out but his brother beat him to it. He says he doesn't care and would like to come seek my hand.
Is this right? I am so confused. My heart and head cannot go through with it. Help someone.

Anonymous said...

One man vowed to destroy a lady's wedding. He is her uncle just because. He felt the man was too good for her. They prayed and reported him to his creator. On the wedding day, he had boil on his bum, he couldnt sit and he couldnt lie on his back. It was so much he couldnt even talk much cos of the pain. Day after d wedding, d boil ripened and that was it. He was not able to attemd the wedding talk less of destroying it. Pray madam, pray.

Anonymous said...

Nope, it is not family's business. She has told the person she should tell. This is not starting life on deceit

JOYOUS said...

darling please take the bull by the horn, you are lucky lee boo doesn't mind and that's all that matters....so he should do the explaining along side with you and whatever consequences he should be able to fight for his woman that's what love does, don't take the advice of keeping your uncle away from your wedding because plans may go wrong and your inlaws might misinterpret your actions and tag you a bad person......and trust me you can't hide it forever and sooner or later your uncle might tell them.....just be open to your inlaws and maybe they might even overlook it (its not a bad thing since you dnt have a child with him or even if you have a child there's nothing wrong with that).

your man should be bold to defend his love in the presence of his parents no matter the circumstances (peacefully though without hurting anyone).

all the best dear.

Baby Oku said...

Poster Becky has given u the advise u need. That's the only advise I want u to take.. U and Oga shud go to his parents house and explain urslf.. finish..

If u prevent ur uncle from coming to ur wedding, u think the truth will not eventually come out? U didn't comit a crime, so feel free to go to ur inlaws before hand.

Fan Emmanuel said...

Every body knows That she's a sad frustrated bitch! No need going under anonymous.

Anyway,poster can't you deny whatever your uncle may say at the end of your wedding? Even to the point of lying to your inlaws that your uncle has a mental problem. Please stop bugging your head over nothing.

Baby Oku said...

Is that even the point?.. most of u on this blog mehn.... Smh.

Become a cam model said...

Become a cam model

Duchess without a duke said...

Poster,tell your partner to tell his people and convince them. Don't ever marry into a family that won't accept you wholeheartedly.

Adanne said...

Please make up your mind on telling your inlaws, start with your mother in law. There's no shame in it, you are Virgin compared to some people.

xxxTrinityxxx said...

Thank you doppel๐Ÿ‘... I don't know what her problem is

Anonymous said...

See how you just ruined the first comment. Fowl head ๐Ÿ˜’

redbotafly said...

Since you r startin a new life u shud nt hide anytin frm ur inlaws to be.dnt be ashamed tel dem d truth dt way u wil hapi.cos one way or d other they wil still find out.

Fuck you said...

What has prayer got to do with this...she needs pratical advice u Dey talk of prayer...how dumb can dat be

Anonymous said...

Abeg forget risk. That was how I was scared of marrying my present single husband becos I hv two kids ( their Dad late). My inlaws never hear till today n even if den hear uko? What will dey do? My dear, As far as u got ur guy's support u re good to go. For that ur uncle, abeg, n only him house u fit Wed niii? Can't u just call few families down to Lagos or ur base n do ur trad? God go punish that man ohhh. How e take concern him naa. Enemy of progress. I am glad I married my husband of today... so happy..., d best I can think of.....

Fuck you said...

Kidnap him, threaten him or kill him...he's already a nuisance to d family...

Mrs. Romas said...

When people (especially women) says do whatever you like because is your life; I on other hand will say, will you be proud of whatever you do now in ten years time?

You see, you made a huge mistake by succumbing to pressure from your family, and thereby marrying someone you were not ready to be with. I thank God you quickly realised your mistake.

Please, don't hide anything from your parents in-law, you did not kill anyone, you only signed some papers under pretence and pressure.
Please, you and your husband to be should talk to his parents, tell them you both never lived together, and that there was never "a marriage", it ended there at the court.
please poster, enter your marriage with clean hands and a clear mind, surprise your bad uncle, by telling your in-laws first. Let him be the bad person.
Nothing hidden under the sun will not be revealed. Your fiancee loves you, you're already accepted in the family, it will not be in your favour if your in-laws hears it from outside.
Please, say a payer and tell them the truth, to avoid writing another CHRONICLE.
You shall testify at the end in Jesus name. Wishing you a happy and peaceful home.

Sassy 'Meruche' Fire said...

I wonder what the big deal here is really.Didn't you say your man knows about your divorce and it means nothing to him? So what's the problem?
Tell them about your divorce,hpw it all went down.Yea,not all would be happy about,but the most important person is cool with it,which is your fiance.

modella said...

ahhh... na wah o. what did you do to your uncle now? what's his own sef? I hate people like that abeg. if he is not ready to conduct the marriage for you, can't somebody else do it? how am I even sure he doesn't have a hand in your father's death. he is evil. he can't even advise you as a daughter instead his plan is to disgrace you before your in-laws. if you were his daughter I'm sure he wouldn't do same. in fact I dey vex..
Well I think you should just tell ur in-laws the truth. yes open up to them if that's d case since your boo doesn't have an issue with it. after all you ain't even the first. so just tell them before your uncle add his own pepper and salt. all the best

myraclebee said...

Gbam!!!

Dera Glory said...

Please tell your in laws o to avoid stories that touch..
Household enemies everywhere..

Anonymous said...

Exactly!

Anonymous said...

Lol, you wicked

Pure Nigerian said...

Let your fiance spill to his parents first, that way you would be spared their initial reaction. At least when you meet them, they would be more in control of their reactions, try to emphasize how 'bad' your uncle is and how he is most likely to exaggerate on certain matters.
I understand that some parents may not want their offspring to marry a divorcee as it is against their biblical beliefs...

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Eventually, you will find a job, settle down, and meet the person you're supposed to be with. Quit stressing and just enjoy what life gives you now*

Mrs. Romas said...

"Prayer"

E Sylvia said...

You Betta tell your in law to avoid public embarrassment๐Ÿ™

Becky Divine said...

Whether she consummated the marriage or not is of no importance here cos that one is past! She should not let her past be a hindrance to her future.

Let her tell them and face whatever comes out of it once and for all.

Becky Divine said...

Eermm please run!
I'm telling you to run cos if it's me, i will run. Can't date two brothers biko

Anonymous said...

I HARDLY COMMENT BUT I AM FORCED TO DO SO TODAY. DEAR POSTER... TELL YOUR INLAWS THE TRUTH. SINCE YOU SAID YOUR MAN LOVES YOU, THE BOTH OF YOU SHOULD PLAN ON DOING IT EITHER TOGETHER OR HE TELLS HIS MUM 1ST. OR YOU TELL HIS MOM WHILE GISTING WITH HER. ENTER YOUR MARRIAGE WITH CLEAN HANDS AND AVOID FUTURE PROBLEMS. YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED HOW THIS THING WOULD ESCALATE IF YOUR INLAWS FIND OUT ELSEWHERE SOMEHOW IN FUTURE BECAUSE NOTHING IS HIDDEN UNDER THE SUN. EVEN IF YOU ESCAPE OR MAKE YOUR UNCLE NOT TO TELL THEM. THEY MIGHT HERE ELSEWHERE SO PLEASE TELL THEM AND HAVE A FREE MIND AND CLEAN FOUNDATION IN YOUR NEW MARRIAGE. YOU NO EVEN BORN PIKIN SEF. CHEERS!

Anonymous said...

I HARDLY COMMENT BUT I AM FORCED TO DO SO TODAY. DEAR POSTER... TELL YOUR INLAWS THE TRUTH. SINCE YOU SAID YOUR MAN LOVES YOU, THE BOTH OF YOU SHOULD PLAN ON DOING IT EITHER TOGETHER OR HE TELLS HIS MUM 1ST. OR YOU TELL HIS MOM WHILE GISTING WITH HER. ENTER YOUR MARRIAGE WITH CLEAN HANDS AND AVOID FUTURE PROBLEMS. YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED HOW THIS THING WOULD ESCALATE IF YOUR INLAWS FIND OUT ELSEWHERE SOMEHOW IN FUTURE BECAUSE NOTHING IS HIDDEN UNDER THE SUN. EVEN IF YOU ESCAPE OR MAKE YOUR UNCLE NOT TO TELL THEM. THEY MIGHT HERE ELSEWHERE SO PLEASE TELL THEM AND HAVE A FREE MIND AND CLEAN FOUNDATION IN YOUR NEW MARRIAGE. YOU NO EVEN BORN PIKIN SEF. CHEERS!

Blossom said...

What is your uncles beef sef? He wanted you to remain in a loveless marriage and be sad for the rest of your life or what?

It's good your fiance is aware. Call his bluff and let's see what he will do.

Senora SouthSouth said...

*coughs* God help us! Dear poster, I dunno much about divorce but I know a lot about honesty!and how far it can take one in life. Your first marriage sounds like it never happened except in papers. U made a mistake yes but please dont build dis one on deceit "even if una go cover something up abeg nor be dis kind thing." ur inlaws will see it as u making a fool outta dem when they get to find out later. Our people say....dem nor dey learn left hand for old age! See them, apologise(if u like cry) for not telling them from the onset. Remember u're not marrying just their son but d whole family.

Anonymous said...

Was this constructed for me?

Just wat I needed to see after praying.

Anonymous said...

I HARDLY COMMENT BUT I AM FORCED TO DO SO TODAY. DEAR POSTER... TELL YOUR INLAWS THE TRUTH. SINCE YOU SAID YOUR MAN LOVES YOU, THE BOTH OF YOU SHOULD PLAN ON DOING IT EITHER TOGETHER OR HE TELLS HIS MUM 1ST. OR YOU TELL HIS MOM WHILE GISTING WITH HER. ENTER YOUR MARRIAGE WITH CLEAN HANDS AND AVOID FUTURE PROBLEMS. YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED HOW THIS THING WOULD ESCALATE IF YOUR INLAWS FIND OUT ELSEWHERE SOMEHOW IN FUTURE BECAUSE NOTHING IS HIDDEN UNDER THE SUN. EVEN IF YOU ESCAPE OR MAKE YOUR UNCLE NOT TO TELL THEM. THEY MIGHT HERE ELSEWHERE SO PLEASE TELL THEM AND HAVE A FREE MIND AND CLEAN FOUNDATION IN YOUR NEW MARRIAGE. YOU NO EVEN BORN PIKIN SEF. CHEERS!

Yummy chick cum mummy said...

Lmao... Faith without work is dead.... Not only prayer, actions too is needed. Poster pls come plain, but Der is something u are not telling us from the first marriage.. Split it jor

reemah said...

Yes!

Atheist. said...

You think its that easy abi??
Enjoy what life gives you.. What could life possibly hand you when ure jobless or a full blown gwegz, other than misery, mockery, oppression, depression etc.. i'm no whr jobless or an uncle gwegz but i know the feeling of being left out...

DonMayor said...

You are too correct. ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ‘

Atheist. said...

Thrs nothing though here, she should come clean finish.

Atheist. said...

I follow u spell am wrong sef, lol... Tough

Fan Emmanuel said...

Poster did you read This?

Please do not tell your inlaws ooo... This is Africa,most African parents hates devorcees... They will find a way to scatter your relationship with they son. Even if it means going spiritual. And even if you guys end up together they will constantly remind you of your failed mariage at any little issue.

Sbebi dem talk say the guy involved is cool with it? So why must his parents hear of it?
Abeg tell them that your uncle has a mental problem.

JAA said...

Poster, your in-laws have the right to know you were married before. Believe me, it is better they know now that you were married before than to be viewed as a two-faced daughter in-law later.
Even your own hubby will use this to tuant you tomorrow if you don't do what is right.

That you didn't love your first husband, didn't have a wedding ceremony, never considered yourselves married... does not justify your intended deceit. The fact remains that you were married.

Marrying a divorcee is a big deal to those who have their consciences trained by the bible, especially when there was no scriptural basis for the divorce. You may loose your boo if he has not learnt to use the persuasive power a child possess over their parent. All the best.


Anonymous said...

Post 1 see you are not married atall since no bride prize was paid, which kind story be dis u stupidly go since paper abi? is your parent aware that day if their are aware dat means something is wrong with u and ur family.

okey since d did has been done, wat u re going to do now is to tell your inlaws truth and only but the truth not dat u don't love d guy o but things did not work out for u guys.Beliv me if u lie they might decide to go and investigate so
not to get d jist more complicated let them know dat d guy have not done d necessary thing and also no pride prize was paid.

Madam in d village were I came from u re not legally married u only marry on paper at d law court nxt time u make use of ur brain

Anonymous said...

My stellabostic u will long ooo, pls I need to create My own I'd... your advice na out of this world... as in all this uncle self you sure say him no get hand for my dad death... hmmm my dad immediate younger brother went to call all Kim's men to come and kill me with Bill's... back to d matter... Pls do not lie to your future in-laws oo.. there is nothing prayer cannot solve.. it is not necessary to go for deliverance just use the elements of the earth to pray... especially invthe morning....pray say if him don vow to spoil your matter.. let the sand wey him dey match make am sick the air, star, water, Sun, moon make them reject am..

Rhoda Rex said...

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Atheist. said...

Christians don't mention that part of the bible.
If they can rip it off the bible sef they would.
Hypocrites.

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Amen

Rhoda Rex said...

Ha! ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ฐ this ur two options na die.

Anonymous said...

There is more to this your divorce that u have not even told your guy.if it's as simple as u painted it. Most in laws will understand. U are afraid ur uncle will say it all. And ur uncle's strong desire to let them know shows u might have messed up big time before the divorce. He's pained about something concerning the divorce. Only you know the reasons.so take it as one of those things, come clean. What will be, will be. If that's ur husband, nobody with prevent that, not even ur in-laws. Something is messy somewhere. My opinion though. Good luck

Madam Small Chops said...

Anytime I read a chronicle ,the first thing I ask myself is what will I do if it were to be me.In this scenario, I have two options I either call his bluff and let him yarn on the wedding day.since le boo knows its not a big deal, his parents might be dissapointed but I dont think they will end the marriage cos their son is happy with you.You can beg them afterwards saying you thought le boo told them.(afterall is not like they asked you if you've been married before and you lied)

Option two will be for Le boo to tell his parents so that they heal from the dissapointment (if any) before the D-day.That your uncle is a kill joy.

Meanwhile, whats there to hide? Its not as if you have kids or lost your womb.Abeg this matter no reach to blackmail person.

Anonymous said...

Your husband to be introduced you to his family. It is his place to tell them ALL about you . If he is aware and still wants to marry you, he knows the temperament of his family members well and therefore knows how and when to break the news to them.
I was married with 2kids. Re-married now. I didn't have to tell my in-laws anything. I left it to their son to do. And my kids visit and stay with us as often as they like. We all have our past.

Mao Akuh said...

I'm not judging you but there are so many things we don't know concerning your marriage to your EX. You were once married and now divorced...that's it, whether bride price was paid or not. You signed the doc, wasn't forced and in law, both of you were married couple so forget that thing wey you dey yarn about bride price.

You should let them know everything and mind you they will definitely want to know what led to the divorce? So prepare your mind to answer their questions and pray to God to give you wisdom and also take charge.
You can't enter a marriage contract on deceit. If the guy is my son, will do my own investigation on you asap. Your guy should be able to stand by you in this.
You need to start with a clean hand/heart. Commit everything to God's hand, at the end, your uncle will be a laughing stock.

MrsB said...

Oh two options apparently. Lol

Chike TEFLON said...

*know how *

Adadioramma said...

Linda I scrolled down to check on your advice, nothing nothing. Nne what happened, please advise her nah.

Hadey Halaba said...

its not an epistle,but here is my opinion.
* thank God your guy isn't bothered. I believe his parents wont bother much also. You both should hatch a plan that sees him Tell his parents first about your situation, if his mum is understanding, and allows it, dad gat no choice.

* After he might have told his parents, and briefed u of their (positive) response, U also should try to tell dem and fake ignorance that u didnt know how to say it. Dont even show it at all that u sent yur fiance as an advance party. Put a little emotion into it.

Since no bride price was paid, and no traditional rites conducted, its not that difficult.

Even if your Uncle brings it up, your in-laws will defend you. U don't have to say a word.

Lastly, Dont label your uncle as wicked on dat day o. Show him the kind of respect he has never seen from you before and you will see how God will turn around everything for your Good.

I wish u all the best.

The Observer said...

If d in-laws are true Christians den I understand d dilemma here cos clearly she should not be getting married again else it will be adultery! So d issue here is not that she can't tell em but d fact that they will be bent on preventing their son from committing adultery.
That said, poster I suggest u bite d bullet. Being a deceitful divorce is double wahala. Better to be an honest one, that should count for smth I pray!

JAA said...

*Taunt*

not real marriage without brideprice said...

na you and ur hussy get business togeda. his family no need interfer. but una no consumate the marriage na?

Anonymous said...

Dear poster, i will advice ur husband tells his family members, there is notin to hide, ur husband has accepted u so the family doesn't have a choice than to accept his decisions.

if u decide not to tell them sooner or later it will be known to them, u no wat it means. deceit
That is the angle i see ur uncle coming from.

Anonymous said...

If you marry an African man you marry thr family so it is advisable she let the in-laws know before uncle get in there.

Lacey Love said...

Anonymous you wicked o. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Anonymous said...

The problem is the uncle who is out to finnish her.

Anonymous said...

Good questions you raised! Poster are you sure your man is a real man?

Happy pretty chic said...

Why are you scared?? To HELL with him!!!

Tell him it was an arrangee marriage because you were thinking of relocating to Canada on the Highly Skilled Immigrants Visa(HSMP) & one of the requirements is to produce a marriage certificate, so you can earn more points and qualify!! Which is the exact truth!
Everybody does arrangee marriage just to get papers! Come to America or UK, people do false marriages everywhere and every day!

Broomstick said...

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ you're not serious. Cut off tongue as if that affects his writing capabilities. 2nd option, thou shall not kil .
Simple truth will work

Anonymous said...

I swear I don laff die...una no go kee me on this blog LWKMD

PL THE GREAT said...

Madam if the picture you painted here about your divorce is true, do yourself a big favour and keep your mouth shut! The one who should feel pressured to inform your in-laws is your fiance.

Let me tell you, no Nigerian family living in Nigeria will accept you after hearing you're a divorcee. Do yourself a favor and marry quietly. Your husband can tell his family later on. He should start by telling his mum. Marriage is between a man and his wife not family members and wife. This is Nigeria where sentiments are attached to everything. The moment they find out, you're gone with the wind.

No matter how much he loves you, it can never override that which he feels for his family. He will definitely succumb to their request. Especially if he was raised well and understands the importance of family. Don't give anyone the chance to ruin your happiness. It's not a crime to be a divorcee.

As for your deadbeat uncle, my dear use your brother. Your brother is actually the rightful person to receive your brideprice. Inform your uncle oh. But mix up the dates. Make sure the wedding holds a day or two before. Be sure not to allow the real date reach his ears.

One last thing. Pray very well. That uncle of yours seems unnecessarily angry at your progress.

Anonymous said...

Listen don't tell him parents NOTHING o I use God beg you. Just find a way to keep that uncle busy so he doesn't attend. Change the date suddenly to a day he is not around or sponsore him to travel to Ghana I'd you can afford it. Or get a pastor to walk in front of his house and give prophecy that he must leave the village for a month that someone is after his life.....as a sharply una be just find one sweet format so that that man will not be there on that day. The guys family will never free o if they find out you are divorced nah beg I beg don't tell them o. Or play boys to kidnap him but not to hurt him at all just to keep him away on that day do all you can o because this isn't your life.

Good luck

Oluwabumsky said...

You be copy copy ni sotee you copy my wrong spelling lol

Anonymous said...

Dear poster,your fiance is in best position to advice you. Good enough you have told him about it.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

Stella,where is my comment on this post?...
Those people telling you to stop enabling my comment on this blog is not doing you any good!...
Every one cannot think alike madam!...

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

I post comment with my data,phone and time!...
Do you know how stressful it is to write comment?...
If you want me to stop commenting,why don't you say it lemme flee...
Ogini di?...

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

Abi APC people don give you money to stop enabling my comment since they are bent on shuttling anyone that criticizes them up!...

What did I write that others here didn't write?...

favy said...

Sorry o

BLUNT said...

Atheist don't mind them- Naija penticostal Christians. Hypocrites. What do you expect when their pastors divorce, remarry, divorce again, remarry a divorcee and then divorce them too! All they know is tithe and seed. Ndi oshi. They don turn this Christianity to child's play. From morning till night na "tithe" and "seed" dey Oyedepo mouth. Same with the other slow poison.

Anonymous said...

Stella maka why?i lik some of her advise.i wonder wht she said dis time.queen calm down

Anonymous said...

Lmao @ atheist

Anonymous said...

I never comment but for your case I will. First and foremost you need to tell your in laws the truth and I suggest you pray before telling them. Let God go before you and everything will be great. Also after telling them and marriage plans continue as planned, look for another uncle to represent your dad, you need to delete that your uncle from your life. He is not your father and you do not owe him any explanation. That your uncle is wicked and you need to stay far from him and continue to put him in prayers that the almighty Lord should reward his wickedness. We Africans like to give useless relatives power over us. I am very sure this your uncle has never helped you in anyway.

AppleofGodseyeoriginal said...

Georgina@observer

Ben Ejiogu Fingertrickz BEATZ said...

@f...you. Why are you bitter? You really have no clue what prayer is right

Anonymous said...

I was waiting for someone to say this. I had a short lived marriage that people didn't know about. The next relationship i got into, i told him everything and he was super cool with it and everything was going well. We were so serious and talking marriage just like the poster...my dear, we had an argument over something so silly i cant remember...next thing my suposed boo said was do i think his family is gonna be cool knowing i was previously married?! It came off as though he was doing me a favour or i was some condemned goods he was buying..yes, he's my ex now.

J.Analyst said...

My dear, Its a pity when we do things ignorantly without looking back at the consequences but sha since your mind wasnt made up then, here are my few advice:

- Plead with your uncle, in order to justify your prayer before God.
- i will want you to know the presence state(condition) your EX is right now.i.e: maybe married or is mind is free from scandal on your D-day to the new found love.
- Be more concious of your environment even your uncle wife
- Be prayerful.

OR

At the worst scenario, God have mercy: Play the role that HE(uncle) connive with your EX due to the cash your EX part with him and since your complete refusal to marry him, that HE(uncle) have bend to destroy any of your good plan to marry who your heart has chosen.

God save your new relationship. Shalom

Ojy said...

I do not think this issue deserves the attention you are giving it.I want to believe you are an adult.There is hardly any adult without a past or mistake,the difference could be in the experiences or scenarios.Yours is divorce.A marriage that was not made public in the first place was built on a fluty foundation and was bound to crash anyway.There is a reason for open declarations in traditional and church weddings.
Now,let your fiancรฉ intimate his people and be sure not to attach importance to it when he is telling them.His attitude and disposition when informing them about this will go a long way to determine their reaction and consequent relationship with you.He doesn't have to call a family meeting for it or make the ambience formal.Let him just "gist" his folks about it!.You must not be there and should not speak about it to them.Let him take the responsibility and protect you.This is where it starts ooo oga fiancรฉ.You are reading from someone who knows,trust me!

Anonymous said...

LIKE STELLA SAID, DISTRACT THE UNCLE THAT DAY AND FIND A REPLACEMENT UNCLE IN THE FAMILY. IF THE HUBBY'S FAMILY ARE CONC CHRISTIANS LIKE MY FAMILY, THEY WILL NEVER ALLOW THE GUY TO MARRY YOU COS DIVORCE IS A SIN AND GOD HATES DIVORCE MALACHI 2:16

Anonymous said...

I WAS ONCE MARRIED (BRIDE PRIDE THINGS), WE REFUNDED THE BRIDE PRICE DUE TO SOME IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES. I AM HAPPILY MARRIED. MY HUSBAND HAS NEVER MENTIONED TO HIS FAMILY MEMBERS ABOUT MY PAST. ALTHOUGH IN YOUR CASE SINCE YOUR UNCLE IS THREATENING YOU CAN INFORM YOUR IN-LAWS TO BE.ASK YOUR BOO WHAT HE THINKS.

Diva said...

Hahahahaha. Kai! Una no go kill person @Atheist and Oluwabumsky.

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