This looks hard...but it isnt!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WAITING FOR A BROKE-ASS LOVER VS MARRYING THE NEXT AVIALABLE
RICH MAN
Hi Stella, I trust you are doing well.Thanks for your blog as i have found a family in this blog.I decided to pen this down due to recent occurring and reoccuring headaches i do encounter due to too much thinking so i decided to know the opinion of fellow bvs perhaps it could put an end to it.Please hide my email and pardon me as this may be long.
I will be 29 by december,i have always envisaged settling down early in a peaceful home and watching my kids grow.I visioned marriage as one that will bring all your dreams and aspirations to reality but low and behold with the kind of chronicles being reported here i began to set my priorities in accordance to reality.
I have been in and out or relationships and at a point in time i went on my knees asking God for a life partner who will be my soul mate and who i will find peace in as I didnt really encounter peace of mind in my previous relationships.
God made known to me that my prayer had been answered long before i asked for it but just that i didnt realise it.My eyes were opened to realise that one of my closest male friend had been in love with me since forever and has expressed it in one form or the other but i just called it bluff...That period surrounding when i made that prayer,(lets call my friend Stephen)stephen started showing strong interest in me and telling me that he has a strong conviction that we were meant to spend the rest of our lives together.
This time around i weighed a lot of things and decided to perhaps give it a try of which i did and still doing.
It was in the course of our dating that he revealed to me that he has been in love with me for over 10 years and as the years go by and me being in other relationships he thought what he felt will fade but it kept coming stronger so he just had to come out plain with me as he has also prayed but the feelings will not go.
The relationship has progressed for two years now and the truth is that i have encountered peace like never before in this relationship.
Stephen loves me so much and infact I can do no wrong in his eyes,he introduced me to his family as the one he intends to spend the rest of his life with and they all embraced me into the family.I have found compatibility in major aspects of our lives and i can say without a doubt that Stephen is my soulmate.
Along the line in our course of dating i was retrenched due to the economic meltdown and some of stephens financial plans for the year were also truncated.I ventured into a business but along the line it became unfavorable due to the exchange rate so I had stop.
This halted our plans of settling down this year as we had to go back to the drawing board to start re -strategising.
The problem now is that the pressure to settle down is beginning to build up as there is a rich suitor that has made it known to my family that he wants to marry me.Yes he is well to do and will take care of my financial needs (tentatively) which is what my family is most concerned about.
Stephen who i am in peace with isnt ready financially but is making efforts to and some of my friends feel he will waste my time as they cant tell how soon he will pick up financially.Some even tag me unserious as to why i should even be considering not marrying the rich man immediately but i am confused......
wouldnt i regret it in the long run if i leave my soul mate and marry someone else?...
will i be considered a fool considering my age to still stick with stephen?
Does marrying a rich person you havent courted really bring automatic fulfilment?
has anyone ever left a supposed soul mate and found peace?.....please help me answer these.Thank you.
whew!
*My dear,na only you fit answer this question depending on what you are looking at.....Peace of mind is good but a marriage without finances will eventually be troubled.
A marriage without love will eventually break down as well.
So you ask yourself what you want to gamble with cos everything in life is a gamble and a risk and no one knows for sure until the ball starts to roll...
I don pray tire. Maybe my ears aren't open or God hasn't spoken. But I'm not even hearing anything on this issue.
ReplyDeleteSweetie, if indeed he is your soulmate, you can't find peace if you leave him for another because he would always be "the one who got away"
ReplyDeleteI would never advise any lady to marry a man who cannot take care of her as a wife/a mother, because she can get pregnant on the 1st night she becomes a wife. Financial issues are the number 1 cause of divorce, according to recent survey. You can keep dating your boyfriend until he becomes financially stable, which is a risky move.
If you go ahead with the rich dude, you would never be able to even give yourself the chance to "bond" with him because your "soulmate" will always come 1st in your heart. Contrary to popular belief, marrying into money doesn't guarantee happiness. It surely guarantees comfort but not true happiness. It's one thing to marry a rich guy you barely know and hope to develop feelings for him along the way, if you don't have any guy distracting you. It's a whole different ball game when you are still in love with another guy. Your heart wouldn't open up to your rich husband. He can love you to the moon and back and practically kiss the ground you walk on but all that would mean nothing to you because you'll still be jonesing for your ex.
Now hear comes the conundrum. Do you wait it out for your true love to become financially stable? What if it takes him another 10 years? Financial stability is a sine qua non from a successful marriage. Like my Nana says "if you play love in a tight room, it will jump through the window". Option #2, what if you marry this rich guy and you find out he makes you miserable? What if while you are stuck in a loveless marriage, your true love hits it big and becomes successful? Too many variables, honey, I really feel bad for you.
It boils down to one fundamental question. How far are you willing to go and how much are you willing to sacrifice for true love? You never know what the future will bring, sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. It's a risk. However, be sure you've counted the cost and you would be at peace with the worst case scenario either way. If I may suggest, give your boyfriend another 2 years while you keep encouraging him. Don't be scared of "losing" the rich guy. If he's really yours, he wouldn't waltz away into the "sunset" with another just because you weren't on board with this fire brigade marriage proposal. Wouldn't you prefer to be happily married at 35years, than to be miserably divorced at 31? Please my darling, be very sure before you make any decision regarding whom you marry. It would determine how you spend the rest of your life.
#e-bearhugs.
A Yoruba proverb says "if u give away friendship so cheaply, u can never buy it back no matter how much u have"
ReplyDeleteU r about to sell Stephen out, and u can never get him back.....
U would so much wish to have him back but then, It would be too late.
Finally, Listen attentively to the song 21 QUESTIONS by 50cent. There is a message there for u to pick.
Thank me later if u eventually made the right choice.
I AM THE ANALYSER
Holly Abeg leave his matter!! if he's servicing another pussy Na her pussy be number ONE! She's the main pussy and he would do anything to make sure he doesnt lose this particular Pussy. So leave matter! Yes they say all men cheat but I'd rather have the chunk of his heart and resources than be given piece meals. Let me be the one who stamps my feet on the ground and side chics run for cover at the sound of my voice. It's not news that men cheat. Is it? But who would you rather be? The one who can sue his ass for cheating and ruin his life or the one who has to hide when oga comes out with madam? Abeg stop using this cheating gist to mock married women. It's not news and doesn't make runs girls better.
ReplyDeleteBoth of una ehn.... Linda and Chike 😂😂😂 Chai! Una get an plenty for body.
ReplyDeleteHmmm..... Madam touching story. I hate to say this but for your husband to have issues immediately after marriage, it's time to seek Gods face and ask questions. You are meant to be a blessing. And not marry to struggle on your own as you've said you're doing.
ReplyDeleteLeave them alone, you hear? Hold this secret for your mother. She's your mother. Don't sell her out to hubby. Keep her secret a secret. And let her decide when to speak and how to handle it.
ReplyDeleteMrs Igho e don do
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteLet me laugh at you very very well!! Cos you gave all husband privileges to bf. Cooked for him and did love and prayed and fasted for him. Even borrowed him money. So what do you expect again? Abeg go joor. We are talking about marriage and commitment here and long-term plans. Not lust and infatuation without head or tail. Its people like you that have made me limit the chronicles I respond to. Cos I type and type like my life depends on it and you people keep repeating the same things. Mscheew!!
@the queen of whichever blog...you're only a gold digger looking for souls to join you in the digging. You're a big disgrace to your family.you'll make everyone think you and your entire family are gold diggers,cos they play a role in your disgusting and disgraceful upbringing. Tufiakwa gi!!! O bu so ego ga egbu gi n'uwa iputara.you make your love for money too obvious.only a lowlife reasons the way you do.
ReplyDeleteDid u say God told u? Do u believe dat God? If u do, jst follow His voice. U n Stephen shud pray more and work harder. Personal conviction abt ur marriage is impt dan u considering his financial status now. Remember, no condition is permanent.
ReplyDelete*budge not bulge. Love the testimony by the way
ReplyDeleteCindy dear,i would have loved to mention his name. But that will be infringement of privacy. Thanks dear
ReplyDeletePoster please be with Stehphen, I believe both of you will build a strong home with peace
ReplyDeleteMost of the comments from you people from one part of the country are shameless and disgusting. Is money all there is to life? Don't you people care about how the money is made? No wonder your young men are in prison all around the world! I spit on the ground for you people.
ReplyDeleteSee my comments under Esther Okoro's contribution! Tueh, tueh to you people!
ReplyDeleteSee my comments under Esther Okoro's contribution - tueh, tueh, tueh!!!
ReplyDeleteMost of the comments from you people from one part of the country are shameless and disgusting. Is money all there is to life? Don't you people care about how the money is made? No wonder your young men are in prison all around the world! I spit on the ground for you people.
ReplyDeleteSo Linda u dey go church? Na wa o
ReplyDeleteChikito, wise analysis.
ReplyDeleteWord
ReplyDeleteThis is a dicey situation. To be honest, it would be easy to chose your soul mate. But what if he falls out of love tomorrow cos that can happen.
ReplyDeleteBe careful. Money comes and goes. I loved a man that owned half a billion naira business with fantastic cars. Like they say I followed the money but as I speak to you it took one year and everything failed. We are both managing now. If I didn't love him I won't be here today. Go for love
ReplyDeleteThe ball is in your court, decision gats to be made.
ReplyDeleteBefore seeking a rich man aspire to be a rich woman by yourself then you can see more clearly.
ReplyDelete