Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Sunday In House Gists.

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Sunday, 15 January 2017

Sunday In House Gists.

Saturday in house gists was HOT and I am certain those compiling the WINNER will not have an easy job.






If you missed it yesterday or you posted a dry Joke,you can try again today.

Now let me put this open to help those compiling...Who you think should win?from yesterday or today.....well that is by the end of the day.Person must meet all the rules set out by setter....ONE WINNER IS Needed from yesterday and today,person gets some money whilst the two people compiling will get a token each.

Good luck.



98 comments:

Beloved said...

Happy Sunday everyone
Hope you are catching some fun
Nuvi Honey
I am .. I am barca fan girl

So yesterday's rules still applies for today's gist.
From my observations yesterday some people were saying treasure' s gist is copied...I have searched but I didn't yet see anything that made it a copied gist. .. .Please help and send the link to me via my email ..just click on my id ..my email is attached there.
Failing to do so ...Please forever hold your silence if he/she emerges the winner. Thankio
And to the multiple personality disorder bv saying shit about bribe collection. .. I am Lmao ...so how much if I may ask you. ?
The other anonymouses . ...I don't have your time
So please yansh down with enough honey and enjoy today's gist

Bv Elastic there is no ojoro o nna

Who else ?

Anyway ...What is good for the goose is equally good for the gander... happy weekend to ya all !

One love
♡ ♥ ♡

AbaMade said...

I don't even what to start explaining to my Yoruba brothers and sisters what ramotu and Yemisi means in igbo, hehehe make I face my work #adapted#

Oluwadarasimi™ said...

My friend's brother and father share striking resemblance; dark skinned and same height. Her brother has this friend in school, they were course mates. Both of them became accustomed to each others various home's. One day; her brother's friend came visiting, he went in and saw the father taking a nap on the sofa in the living room; thinking it was his friend he landed him a resounding slap. Twuaaah! "sleepy sleepy wake up jo" Their father shouted angrily, 'who is that fool? I'm the one sir! the guy replied soberly, confused n jittering in fear, 'he started stuttering! 'sir, I didn't know it was u, I thought it was tade' he prostrated and pleaded with so much guilt in his eyes..they still tease him with it each time he visits..

#original gist#

Jumiasalesagent contactme. said...

Can't stop laughing..
I was buying fufu at d junction while waiting for change I saw a woman with a little child. The child was walking a bit faster than the woman and the woman shouted; "Degree wait for me". I was so amazed hearing that name. So to satisfy my curiousity, I walked closer to the woman and asked; "ma, why do u call this child degree"? The woman laughed and said "I sent her mother to the University and this is what she brought home...๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ.

Akpos returned a book to the library, banged it on the counter and yelled:

“I read this entire novel; there are too many names of people and no story at all”.

The Librarian looked up and responded:

“Idiot! So, you are the one who took the Attendance book?๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€ happy Sunday
Copied

Carina K Jacob said...

*Simon is a house mate who drinks the wine of his boss and
adds water 2 cover up.*
*His boss was suspicious and decided to buy pastis ( A
french wine that changes colour if u add water, just like
dettol)*
*Unknowingly Simon drank from the pastis and topped it up
with water as usual.*
*Sadly 4 him, immediately the pastis changes colour. When
the boss came back and noticed it, he told his wife abt it.*
*Simon knew he was in trouble and decided to stay in the
kitchen.*
*The boss shouted "Simon!!!"*
*Simon answered.."Yes Sir!"*
*Boss.. "Who drank the pastis?"*
*Simon: No ans*
*The boss asks again, still Simon didn't answer. Then the
boss went to the kitchen to meet him.*
*Boss:.."Are u insane or what? When I called u, u said yes
sir, but when I asked u a question, u didn't ans me?*
*Simon: "Hmmm Boss, when u are in the kitchen u don't hear
anything except ur name."*
*Boss:.."Let's try it. Okay go to the bar stand beside madam,
while I will stay in the kitchen."*
*Simon at the bar with his madam and his boss in the
kitchen.*
*Simon shouted: "Boss!!!"*
*Boss: "Yes!"*
*Simon: "Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam
is not around?"*
*Boss:... No answer*
*Simon ask again, still the boss kept quiet.*
*The boss came out from the kitchen shouting.. "Wonders
shall never end!!! Simon it is true. when one is in the kitchen,
one does not hear anything except one's name"*.
*The wife interrupted, "That's not true. It's a lie".*
*Without argument Simon asked if she will enter the kitchen
to be tested and she agreed.*
*Simon: "Madam!!!"*
*Madam:..."Yes!"*
*Simon: .."Who is Junior's biological father? Me or boss?"*
*Madam rushed out of the kitchen saying ..."This kitchen
needs to be checked, I can't hear anything"* #copied from FB

marriedchick said...

Malam Sule bought a new bullet proof jeep for N75M.
While visiting Warri, he was attacked by armed robbers who rained bullets on his car.
To his amazement the car resisted all. So he started insulting the robbers.
One of dem gestured that he could not hear him, so Malam Sule brought down his window and shouted: “shege danbura’uba, barawo banza, dan iska ne’ kowei, waka”.
He has since been buried according to Muslim rites #copied #forlaughs

Isaacson said...

A young boy steals from,his street and he is being given a hot chase by a crowd...so he gets to a good spot and hides,after much searching for him and they could not find him one of the guys said make we trick this akpos Una know say he nor wise so he screamed AKPOS WE DON DEY GO OOO,HIDE FOREVER OOO BUT NOR LET US CATCH YOU IF NOT....then they all hid themselves and kept quiet but Akpos was seeing them all hide so he screamed from his hiding place UNA FIT SAY I BE MUMU ABI,I DEY SEE ALL OF UNA AS UNA DEY HIDE,ME I NOR BLIND OOO...they caught him and gave him the beating of his life

Few days passed and Akpos steals again and is being chased and as usual he hides again and after hours of unsuccessfully finding him they decide to trick him again but some say no ooo it won't work but alas they decided to try and screamed AKPOS OYA JUST COME OUT WE PROMISE WE NOR GO BEAT YOU AT ALL NA JUST WETIN YOU THIEF WE WANT...then Akpos foolishly replied loudly from his hiding spot NA BIG LIE BE THAT NOR BE SO UNA SAY UNA DON GO WHICH DAY AND UNA STILL DEY THERE he was traced to his hiding spot and thoroughly beaten once more

Few weeks passed and Akpos once more steals again and is being chased heavily them he hides successfully on top a tree and the crowd just get there as they are about searching for him Akpos screams from top of the tree down to them SEE MAKE I TELL ALL OF UNA TODAY EHEN IF UNA LIKE UNA TRY ALL OF UNA TRICK AND LIES I NOR GO FALL PUT THIS TIME,SO MAKE UNA NOR WASTE UNA TIME

#original composed by me..
Win or not I hope I make y'all laugh

Uranium Beauty said...

It was new year's eve at villa n we went 4 cross over night.So,We came back home by 1am.As i sat on a small block to wait 4 my mum to open d door,i felt a very sharp pain on my bum bum,n i screamed.My mum rushed n flashed d touch, lo n behold it was a very big,black scorpion dat stung me.D pain was out of dis world.She decided to tk me 2 a guy dat cures it with herbal medicine cs no black stone but i refused cs d guy had toasted me b4. There was no way i'd allow him see my bum. She begged n begged bt i refused.I thought i could endure it bt d pain excrutiated. B4 u could say Jack,i removed my skirt n "paent" n ran 2 d guy's house by 2am. My mum ran after me, covering me wit wrapper.We got there n banged on d door.When my mum told him what happened, he tried to stiffle laughter. He applied d herbal medicine n i was relieved after about an hour. I hide from d guy till date whenever i see him.
#OriginalGist

Omotoke said...

Pls house
What is the meaning of unam ikot? I normally see it here on sdk at the end of a call-out and I asked a neighbour and she said it means small girl or boy. In church today, I called a calabar member's daughter unam ikot when we closed, I said she is still a unam ikot and she won't understand what me and the mum are discussing. The next thing the mother started warning me and cursing me and then walked away angrily.
This happened today, it is not copied.

Anonymous said...

See me laughing like crazy here

MissSilentReader said...

A guy mistakenly transferred N200k (out of N210k balance in his account) to a wrong account number via mobile money transfer. After thinking of a way to stop the person from withdrawing the money, he came up with an idea of sending a text message to the person's phone number saying:
"Hello dark and worthy initiate, I hope you're OK. I believe you have received the money I sent to you. It's for your
initiation into the eternal mystical order of glorious satanism in the Ogboni fraternity scheduled to take place tomorrow at 12 midnight. That money is only for your transport. I'll send you more for shopping. There are riches awaiting you in this kingdom. Two weeks after the initiation, a family member
very close to your heart will die, this will unlock your ticket to wealth and you will have the ability to fly at night to any part
of the world. Thanks in advance. But in case you're not ready to join, please send back the money immediately to avoid ur sudden death."
Five minutes later, he got an SMS saying:
"Please send another N200k, my friend is also interested. Nigerian economy has frustrated us too much."
The man fainted..lol....



#Copied

beeolah said...

Wetin my eyes see for church today no be small embarrassment, since new year eve na him I don tint my hair to gold colour as all my friends too don tint their own, so today during prayer session na him pastor say make every body remove head tie, ewoooo!!!!!! See as I dey shake Infact I come dey sweat,na him I carry phone do like say I wan receive call make I just go stay for toilet till the prayer go end, na him usher no gree me go, na him I just commot my head tie jeje, come see as dem turn me to television, even pastor notice as the crowd dey take me do television, he be like say make ground open make I enter inside, the shame no gree me finish for church na style style I take carry my bag after the prayer make pastor no use me preach.

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Stay strong. Make them wonder how you're still smiling*

temmy yemmy said...

WIFE: Darling why are you home this early wearing such a long face?

HUSBAND: Had a terrible day, I lost all my colleagues today at work

WIFE: Blood of Jesus! What happened?

HUSBAND: There was a fire out break down the tunnel and everybody died!

WIFE: What a pity! Darling I thank God for keeping U alive. How did you make it out my dear?

HUSBAND: Darling, it was God`s work. My stomach was upsetting me so, I took a break to ease myself in the toilet.

WIFE: Darling, thank God you are alive. What would have happened to us? I feel so much pity for their families, how are they going to survive now?

HUSBAND: My dear it’s a pity, but UNITED NATIONS has decided to give the families of the deceased $10 million each.

WIFE: What? !!!! ten million what? So because of your useless stomach upset and the foolish toilet and your refusal to die with your colleagues………make me miss that money?? I beg if you don’t like trouble , go back and die with your colleagues.

@Tee_y

Single Mom said...

This happened long ago, one Friday night my friend and her elder brother invited me to her church for night vigil, it was a small church which was still coming up and there was no light, after a long prayer section we were already exhausted, her brother was sleeping on one of the long bench, no plastic chairs in the church then, so the pastor brought up another prayer point binding witches and wizard, at a point the pastor paused and said there is a witch present in this place right now, and the witch is in a form of a bird immediately with fear in us we all started praying heavily and calling holy ghost fire, the pastor kept on saying he command the witch to crash on the zinc right now and every where was dark next thing we heard was a heavy noise and some thing rolling and stopped out side the door of the church, we all started shouting and calling on God so the pastor came closer then we went out side the door and started firing prayer on the thing, that was the day I believed all these flying creatures that fly in the night are usually human being only for some of us to open our eyes and looked clearly we noticed it was my friends brother who fell from the bench when he was sleeping and rolled outside we all started laughing and my friend was embarrassed. Real story, I pray I win cos I really need the money.


Long live SDK

Girlie said...

So one of my uncles married from the South South. One day my mum and I visited them and the wife cooked white soup.
When they served the food, the mum said in Yoruba 'emi oni le je obe yi o, kosi epo ni oja mo ni? Odabi nkan ti won fe fi rubo fun Orisa oko' meaning 'I won't be able to eat this food o, is there no palm oil again in the market? It looks like a sacrifice meant for an idol'. When the uncle's wife asked why she is not eating, the old woman said doctor said she should not eat any food that is cooked without oil in it. After 30 minutes, the woman came back and asked my mum if she will eat noodles, my mum quickly said yes before I could talk on her behalf. The woman just looked at my mum and said 'mama, indomie too is not cooked with oil, it will look like a sacrifice meant for Ogun'. We were just looking at her.
Original.

Anonymous said...

Miss Aboki, if I hear say you were busy yesterday and couldn't post a gist. You that posted gist when the prize was just recharge cards, this one that money is involved, you are now busy. We all know you used one of your numerous blog Ids to post gist yesterday. Useless girl. Beggar oshi. Later you will come and beg for clothes, shoes and bags on IHN. The other day, u were asking for who to buy a giveaway shoe for you.

DaRevolutionist said...

#original. This happened during a Christmas hols. My villa had A river like that where everyone goes to chill, some go to wash, some play ad swim. So I and my cousins wanted to go, I told them to take permission from my mum na, haa by the way Papa don go village meeting Pheww.Ehhh ehnn so mummy talk no. Haaa na joke shey, she said no, I said why, she said mammy water dey, my eye come open shuu wait so this mammy water thing na true, I look my cousins, they said ehn but nothing do us. Chai I come think am come shake head say Lai Lai I must go oo. I come beg mummy na, call am all the names hail am well, trust mothers to like it and allow you go. Yes but not without stay at the shallow area, come home before six pm.. Ohh mummy I hav head..
, Chai we literally ran to the river with some dirty clothes and then with that very big Ballon, you know na, that one people win by playing with 5 naira. Choi Choi see jonsing.Getting to the river you will climb down one sloppy area for you to get to the bank.1 of my cousins didn't know, as a shakara girl na because she Fine ehn, I no go lie the girl Fine, she was just trying to get down, the next thing.. Phhheeee pheeeeemmmm on the floor.. Chai see laugh, the people that were laughing more were the guys she insulted earlier on while going to the river.*Karma shey * Eyahh..
Getting there, we gisted while washing. Oya after the washing, time to play.. We all changed into clothes that could easily dry and started playing, so one girl like that came that she wanted to join, the other one that fell said no, that she is an outsider, bla bla, shuu, the girl use vex common me sef dey fill somehow. Oya play resumes but not without bearing in mind that don't go close to the middle part cus it's deep for where we no hear. We went close to it, one guy came and my cousin liked him instantly, them come dey play, dey pass the ballon to each other, shuu which kind wahala be this na so I, fiamm they guy come shout, leave my leg alone, haaa our eyes come shine like vigilante torch. For my mind ghen Ghen. Mammy water don land. Haaa see this fine boy, mammy water wan carry, Chai to make matters worse, he grabbed my cousin see shout,I don't want to go to their kingdom, I won't be your prince, carry her, she is a fine girl, she can be your princess haaa a no one needed to tell others to disappear, na so everyone for river come dismiss like church a gbasa.. phewwww na so I run, I don't even know whether I walked on water, or ran across the river or tried anything similar to swimming because I don't know how to swim, how I climbed the slope area, I do not know. Chai I and my other cousins left our clothes and shoes there, we ran bare footed to our family house.. Shuu u our cousin was not behind us, we started crying, come see questions, we were gasping and answering. For 20 mins see cry that we won't see her again. Next thing we saw her behind us, eyes dry like dare devil own, one man brought her back come tell us saying no be mammy water hold the boy, that he was forming because the girl that makes cousin refused to allow her play gave him 50 naira. Then #50 na big money for a kid na, and he held my cousin so that it will be as if the mammy water wants to carry her away to their kingdom.. Chai see laugh wey come follow, the look on her face was something to behold..hahah as for the remaining clothes and slippers, I think someone was sent to get them, hiaann who wan go do part two.. Not me oo, na so everything come happen. That was the last time I went to that river and my cousin, humble as ever now. That incident shaped her. Till date when we see each other during an event, we laugh over it. That's my gist

damilola oluwaseun said...

found this very funny and had to share. Enjoy.
Monday: We are back from honeymoon and settled
in our new home, It's fun to cook for Chuka . Today
I made moin moin and the recipe said, 'Beat 12
eggs separately '. Well, I didn't have enough bowls
to do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the
eggs in, the moin moin turned out fine though.
Tuesday: We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The
recipe said, 'Serve without dressing'. So I didn't
dress. But Chuka happened to bring a friend home
for supper that night. They both looked so startled
when I served them. I think it was the salad.
Wednesday: I decided to serve rice and found a
recipe, which said, 'Wash thoroughly before
steaming d rice'. So I heated some water and took
a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kind of
silly in the middle of the day. I can't say it
improved d rice anyhow.
Thursday: Today Chuka asked for salad again. I
tried a new recipe. It said, prepare ingredients,
and then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before
serving.' I hunted all over the place for a garden
with a bed of lettuce and when I got one, I tossed
my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over
there for over one hour so the dog would not take
it. CHUKA came over and asked if I felt all right.
I wonder why? He must be stressed at work; I'll
try and be supportive, don't you think.
Friday: Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It
said, 'Put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it'.
Beat it I did, then when to my mother's place.
There must have been something wrong with the
recipe, because when I came back home again; it
looked the same as when I left it.
Saturday: Chuka went shoppin today and brought
home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for
Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for
Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I
found an old doll dress and its little cute shoes. I
thought the hen looked really cute. When Chuka saw
it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really
stressed because of his work, or he wanted the
chicken to dance. When I asked him what was wrong
he started crying and shouting out 'Why me? Why
me?'.
copied

Beloved said...

MPD

Anonymous said...

Shut up Vivian E. the beggar. You are the same person as treasures. Is this the first time that they are tagging a gist copied? Why you carry this one on your head like gala? Treasures is one of your numerous ids and u will just collect one person's acc details and send to stella. God will catch u one day.

Anonymous said...

Becos of small change u posted gist with wrong spellings and punctuations. Idiat.

Ten-twenty said...

Part 2
Yesterday, I went to him for the balance of my money and he insulted my father with pride in his heart, said he will teach me a lesson. He said he will give a sickness that 100,000 cannot cure, that I will have to go and die in my village. While he was talking he brought out a ring frm one of his left fingers and wore it on one of his right fingers and he wanted to touch me with it, so I fled b4 him.
He thru big stones to injure me but the angels of the God I serve shielded me from the stones. He chased me outside the gate and I ran as if I am a thief all bcos I went to ask for the money I labored for in this Abuja. Yesterday made it 3 months of owing me & not paying even with d post dated check he gave me.
So I went to the Blessed Sacrament and on my knees presented d treat to my sweet life b4 God and thanked Him for saving me and asked Him 4 protection and justice. I didn't leave until I had d conviction that my prayers were answered.
Now, I cannot tell my pregnant wife so I will not add to the BP issues she's having.

Beloved said...

Thanks my darling

missylynn said...

*REASON WHY SOME IGBO PEOPLE DON'T GREET ELDERS IN THEIR VILLAGE...*
*Just greet an old woman and she will tell you the story of your generation like;*
Morning Nwam, Bia, Is this not Okechukwu the son of Ebube, the man who raped two girls before getting married to Obiageli the daughter of the
wine tapper who fell from a palm tree while staring at the buttocks of Juliliana the village famous prostitute who aborted sixteen pregnancies before getting married to Okeke the Dibia man from the neighboring village. Is it not your Grandfather that died of madness?
Nwam, so you have grown so big, Kedu?
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚...... good morning folks
#Copied

Anonymous said...

Lol it means get out.

Anonymous said...

Savage! Kwakwakwakwa

Anonymous said...

Took me awhile to translate ......omg! rotfl

Aunty Sabina said...

Lols

Utchey said...

In secsecondary school,the principal asked us not to come out after morning assembly until break time,if caught outside you will be in serious trouble,one mischievous boy in my class came during the first class that morning which was mathematics and saw plenty people kneeling down for not buying graph book..he quickly sneaked away and went to the assembly hall,he met the principal who asked him why he was outside,he replied the maths teacher sent him away because he didn't comb his hair,the principal was furious and came with him to class to confront the maths teacher,the boy just went to kneel down iin the midst of the crowd kneeling down,the principal started shouting at the maths teacher for sending someone out of class just for combing his hair,the maths teacher was surprised and asked who it was he sent it since he was sure he sent no one out..the principal turned around and saw no one..after finding the guy in the crowd,the guy swore vehemently that he wasn't the one and that he's been kneeling down here since morning and hasn't seen the principal this morning,the principal sas suddenly confused and the maths teacher didn't give the principal time to think sef he just kept shouting how God will put his enemies to shame and how God will always fight for him and the other teachers came out and kept sneering at the principal..he left so confused..we all had a good laugh afterwards after the class.
#original#

Anonymous said...

Too long mehn

Anonymous said...

Stale

Anonymous said...

See bitterness on a Sunday.

Anonymous said...

Nawa. Copy copy everywhere.

ellรฉ said...

Lmao ๐Ÿ˜‚

Anonymous said...

Copy copy everywhere. Hian!

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahaha,odeh

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahha

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahahahaahhahaha

Anonymous said...

Kai! Stella you must get a winner and pay the cash o. See forged gists and copied gists everywhere, this Buhari times requires desperate measures.

ellรฉ said...

Lol ๐Ÿ˜‚

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahhahahaha

ellรฉ said...

Lol ๐Ÿ˜‚

Debbie me said...

Lol, same with Olaniyi, funny names when translated to Igbo.

karma?...please said...

Lol

ellรฉ said...

Hahahahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Debbie me said...

Mumu Akpos.

karma?...please said...

Tiring

BunMystique said...

Recently, I feel like I am dating
MTN.
I go to bed with a text and wake
up with a text msg. It's either
they are calling me or begging
me
to subscribe to one thing or the
other.
VERY SOON MTN WILL BE LIKE:
1. Dear customer are u
HUNGRY??...text HGY to353884
Tips on HUNGER And what to
EAT
2. Dear customer need
DELIVERANCE??.. .. Text DEL TO
35388 for daily tips on how to
deliver yourself
3. Dear customer facing
ancestral
problems??.... text ANCESTORS
to
35354 and recieve daily
ancestral
tips
4. Dear customer wanna bathe
but u have no
soap??....text SOAP to 35629 to
receive dialy soaps to your
phone
5. Dear customer feeling
HEARTBROKEN??.. ..Txt HEART
to 38545 and recieve tips on
how
to plaster your heart...
Imagine MTN sending my
grandma BEAUTYTIPS... for
what??
HABA!


#copied

Anonymous said...

Lolz I know this is probably a joke but for those who don't know, it means bush meat

Anonymous said...

Lmao...it means ' Bush meat'...

Olu Vee said...

Lol stupid wife

Anonymous said...

I need the like button for this post

Olu Vee said...

Lmao!

Mamavee said...

Ikwakwakwa

Taiwo Oluwatosin said...

Good day my people, I remember when I was in primary school. We are celebrating our graduating student .we junior now we must perform cultural dance and a lot of drama to make their day. On that faithful day, I was among of the dancing group I notice the pant a wore from home was a little bit oversize given by my twin sister she's a little bit bigger than me don't mind of wearing it that day. As I was dancing I notice that my pant was going down I keep on dragging it up the moment I notice that I don't get myself again to the extent that I don't get the dancing step again. The next thing I see was my pant on the floor yakata I said to myself kire (what is this). Immediately my class teacher quickly pick it up after the dance she called me and said take your pata gigan ( take your dirty pant). Lol I feel embarrass . Uptill today in any occasion I'm going I have to make sure that I wear something I'm confortable with no manage manage things.lol

# Original.

Taiwo Oluwatosin said...

Good day my people, I remember when I was in primary school. We are celebrating our graduating student .we junior now we must perform cultural dance and a lot of drama to make their day. On that faithful day, I was among of the dancing group I notice the pant a wore from home was a little bit oversize given by my twin sister she's a little bit bigger than me don't mind of wearing it that day. As I was dancing I notice that my pant was going down I keep on dragging it up the moment I notice that I don't get myself again to the extent that I don't get the dancing step again. The next thing I see was my pant on the floor yakata I said to myself kire (what is this). Immediately my class teacher quickly pick it up after the dance she called me and said take your pata gigan ( take your dirty pant). I feel embarrass . Uptill today in any occasion I'm going I have to make sure that I wear something I'm confortable with no manage manage things.

# Original.

ARAB said...

Akpors tells a story about his 40th birthday.. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn't feel like waking up dat morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife wud be pleasant and say "happy birthday" and possibly have a present for me. As it turned out she barely daid goodmorning let alone happy birthday, I thought well dats marriage for u, but the kids they will remember. My kids came trampling down d stairs to breakfast, ate dia breakfast and didn't say a word to me. So wen I made it out of house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Lucy said "goodmorning boss, and by the way happy birthday!" It felt a bit better knwing dat atleast someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about 1pm wen Lucy knocked on my door and said " ฦ”ou knw its such a beautiful outside and its ur birthday, why don't we go out for lunch, just me and u." I said thanks Lucy, that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go. We went to lunch but not where we'd usually go. Instead she took me to a quiet bristowit a private table. We had couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed my meal tremendously. On the way back to the office,Lucy said " u know its such a beautiful day, we don't have to go right back to the office, do we?" I replied wid, I suppose not. She said let's go to my apartment, its just around the corner. After arriving at her apartment Lucy turned to me and said "Boss if u don't mind, I'm gonna step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." Ok, I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and after a couple of minutes she came out carrying a huge birthday cake followed by my wife, kids,dozens of my friends and my co-workers all singing happy birthday, and I just sat there on the couch naked!
February 3, 2013 at 10:28am I copied this akpos jokes from my time line I posted last 4yrs

CUTEE said...

Funny. I can imagine the look on mama's face. I vote u.

CUTEE said...

Huh!

miss Aboki the great said...

Pele. show some love to a transformer in your neighbourhood you hear. It is well with your soul.

Busola said...

I swear,i thought I was the only one. Dry much

Olaide Ogunmola said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Olaide Ogunmola said...

Enter your comment...It's a recent incident, am in my middle 20s, na so mother's fit send person message. To my mum, i still be pikin, na so she sent me on an eran up to 100000000 times, but shaaa, i kuku went, i frustrated but wetin i go do since i never marry. It was around 6pm, mum called me with sweet name, i knw she was up to sometin, but i gegely pretended as if i was in another planet, na so she shouted although i felt guilty, na so i heard her called my junior brother, she instructed him to get bread and ice cream at shoprite. I tot to my self dat immediately my brother comes back i will wake up. D devil took over, na so i slept up o. So i just woke up to visit toilet to check if my brother is back, na so i check time, it was 6:55am,i went to d kichen to discover empty shoprite nyloon. I couldn't cry as a big Gal. But i realised that i was d prodigal Gal. It pained me. Original

treasures said...

Hello dear anon, I'm not Vivian. Why so much bitterness on blog? I wrote my own gist why can't u send us own? And if u have done so, well good luck to us

Beloved said...

Ikwakwakwakwa

Anonymous said...

Lolz 1 zillion tyms

sholetoga said...

Happy sunday everyone

Awele said...

Very funny

Anonymous said...

My blog love.

beautiful godly said...

๐ŸšŒ Conductor asked one of his passengers:
Wey ur money?
Passenger replied: I b staff.
Conductor queried: Which kind staff u b?
-u b police?
No!
-u b soldier?
No!
-u b navy?
No!
-u b air force?
No!
So wetin u be now! Abeg pay ya money
D passnger replied: I b Boko haram!
๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ
All d passngers shouted: WHAAT!!! Conductor u dey mad? Oga Boko sorry sir,abeg no vex,we go pay 4 u sir. Everybdy screamed;DRIVER NEXT JUNCTION OWA O!. Driver said e be like na here i go drop too!
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Abi if you are there will you continue with your journey?
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜€
Copied

Tiwa

D'Artagnan said...

So, my cousin has been crushing on her single and free billionaire MD for over a year. Romour had it that he broke it off with his former girlfriend because she didnt keep her Vjayjay fresh. He is the type that like giving head and was a little OCD ( obsessive- complusive disorder).

During last year's office end of year party, she finally caught his attention. She wore a sexy red dress and Narciso Rodriguez for her.She was the center of attraction. They danced to Donell Jones and ended the night at his house. She just couldn't resist him, he had been her fantasy for over a year.

He gently removed her clothes until he got to her white lace panties. He turned her on her stomach and started running his tongue down her back. Next he began taking off her panties and the next thing she heard was a loud, resounding scream. She jumped off the bed only to see her white lace undies soiled with shit!

She fainted and woke up in the hospital.

#True Story

Teddy said...

Hahahaha

Teddy said...

Hahahaha Pele o

Teddy said...

Lol

Teddy said...

Lol

Teddy said...

Hahahahaahah I vote u

Justyswt said...

Lol.

Empress Windy. said...

A student failed JAMB 5 tyms. 1 day, she travelled 2 visit her frnd in UNILORIN, she fell sick & was admitted to a hospital there. She later called her mum & said...

GIRL: Hello ma
MUM: The place is silent,whr r u?
GIRL: I'm in UNILORIN
MUM: Oluwa ose o

GIRL: I was admitted
MUM: Jesu o se o, Olorun ti doju ti ogun idile wa ti ko fe kio kawe (laughing & dancing)

GIRL: Malaria ni
MUM: Malaria ni course ti won fun e, course gidi ni o, kawe e daadaa o

GIRL: I would b discharged 2moro
MUM: Olorun ma je, 4 yrs lo ma lo loruko Jesu.

Copied.

Phenomenal woman said...

Story time, gist time. This one na original tory. I remember that particular night, several years ago, I had this crazy cousin who was always fond of sneaking in her bfs into the house whenever my uncle and the wife traveled. She has actually been doing this for several years and was never caught, not even for once. On this particular day,the guy came as usual, while she headed into the kitchen to make food for him to eat( you know he needs some energy to pound the yam at midnight na) she served him the food, as he was about to take the first scoop of rice, we heard a horn by the gate. The owners of the house were back. lol guess what? My guy just throway spoon of rice o and started panting upandan, looking for an escape root. Meanwhile his gf hurriedly cleared the plc while I rushed to open the gate. By the time I came back we couldn't find the guy again o. We checked everywhere in and out the house for him but couldn't find him,we still couldn't fathom how he managed to escape. Did I tell that he had a disability on his left leg. I wonder how he jumped fence sha.am sure he received his miracle that night. Lol. # lemme come and be going, this world is not my own #

Justyswt said...

Lmao

Justyswt said...

Chai. So the lady understands yoruba after all.

Chiquita bonita said...

Hahahahhha this is funny

Chiquita bonita said...

That is what happen when u use tissue alone

Peppi said...

Lol

Anonymous said...

Lol

Anonymous said...

Lol

Chiquita bonita said...

Lmao

Justyswt said...

Lol

Olabanji Olajide said...

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Olabanji Olajide said...

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

Akanchawa said...

Funniest....lol lol

Scarlett said...

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ married chick nailed it. Hahahaha

CUTEE said...

NAhwa!

Gracious child said...

Lols.

Gracious child said...

KikikiKi

Javeline said...

Hehehe. U have my vote

Javeline said...

Lol . It actually mean animal wen use as cuss

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