Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Sunday, 5 February 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

Na wah....




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHEN ONE SPOUSE PAINTS THE OTHER BLACK

Good day Stella,


As I write to you I'm in tears and my heart is heavy so please pardon my typo. My chronicle is about my husband, our marriage is three years plus and to God be the glory I have a son.


The issue I have with him is whenever we have an argument be it major or minor he will want to involve people. Its either he picks up his phone to call his family or he calls my family. The painful part is he will twist the story in such a way that I will be at fault bringing up things of the past.


Whenever he is at fault he will bring up issues we have had in the past where I wronged him and use as excuse. when he offends me he would just say sorry and it ends but when I offend him I beg, kneel, cry before he can forgive. But that doesn't stop him from bringing it up again at every little instance.


I'm honestly pained because I love my husband so much and I don't expect him to treat me this way, I'm not a demanding wife, things are not really rosey right now for him but I try to be there when he needs me. I contribute to our up keep. I'm not saying he is bad but this attitude of always trying to paint me black in front of people is what puts me off.


I don't know if he thinks marriage should be all smooth, sometimes when we have issues that are just minor the way he blows it out of proportion baffles me. He goes ahead to bring up things I have done in the past and use them to insult me or make me feel guilty. Things that are meant to be between us becomes what family will gather and talk about.


All this pains me because if only this man knows how much I love him like I'm a sucker for love and I show it every little time I have. I can be stubborn too but I tend to let things slide easily, I don't know how to keep malice but he is turning me to who I'm not my heart is getting hardened and I hate it.


Please help me how can I handle this part of him, I hurt every time we fight, I miss the man I dated I miss the man I feel in love with its like I don't know him anymore. Please help.



97 comments:

Miss Ess said...

He is such a big baby. Why not have a conversation with him when he is in a good mood and tell him about involving third parties in your affairs. He might understand

Anonymous said...

My husband is worse than this.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Poster,don't you know that broke men are always bitter and miserable?...
See,you should develop a thick skin and learn how to start keeping malice with him when the madness starts!...
Stop begging him!!!...biko stopeet!!...

Doppelgänger said...

It's because he knows how much you love him that's why he treats you this way.
You need a break from this emotional abuse. He is your husband not your God.
You should focus on the things that makes you happy and stop the crying and kneeling when you wrong him.
You need to be in control of your life, take it back from him and stop crying all over the place.
Talk to him one last time about this attitude of his and tell him how much you detest it. If after the heart to heart he doesn't change then ignore him completely and enjoy your life.
Focus on your child, job, skill or anything that brings you joy.
He'd kill you If you go on like this and the world will say you enjoyed it.

xxxTrinityxxx said...

You married a bit not a man. A boy who likes to make his wife look bad and he loves an audience while castigating his wife. A boy who wasn't matured mentally and entered into the institution called marriage. A boy im sure believes you should worship his every step. Who believes he's always right and you wrong. You saw all this while dating my dear but chose to ignore cos of love or thought you could handle it. There's no way you couldn't have seen signs. No mTter how little. All I can advice you to do is pray for God's intervention in your marriage.

Blackberry said...

Adapt!
Love alone doesn't sustain a marriage!
Cut down on on fights, seems both of u quarrel a lot.

Anonymous said...

Poster are you married to Ogo cos if you are you're lying.your tale is familiar. Respect him and his family. #FromAbleSideChick

Chike TEFLON said...

Poster, You don't have any problem.
You married a woman like you.
Just handle him the way you handle your female gossiping friends, he will be fine.


NB: we need tough Chronicle that will make us crack our brains and think out something.

Atheist ™ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SANDY NEKY said...

Ewwwww, I feel disgusted by this writeup of yours cos the man in question has seen you finish. Love ko, love ni! Its like you demand for every kobo from him as such... you didnt state that part. Learn how to totally ignore him by allowing the malice linger for sometime jare and see if he wont look out for you.

xxxTrinityxxx said...

Exactly. But she has made him so used to her kneeling to beg when she stops,another problem will arise. He will say she has grown wings. She's feeling too big to beg lol

SHAKITI BABY said...

Seconded.

Chike TEFLON said...

It baffles me when a man carry his family outside.

Poster sorry to say this, your husband is a shameless man. If he has shame he will not let anyone hear about his matrimonial issues.

Becky Divine said...

Take hugs first

Your hubby knows you truly love him and he's using that love against you. And that is really NOT fair at all

Sit him down and tell him how you feel and how he's hurting you though his attitude towards you. Also make him understand it's not right the way he keeps involving other people into your marital affairs, he should stop doing so before he breaks up your home cos of the different advice he's getting from outside people.

When you're done talking to him and there's no change.. suggest you guys see a marriage counselor. And if that doesn't work... then give it back to him the way he's been doing. Use that thing you know he loves and torture him too, so he can feel your pain as well.

But for the sake of peace, calmly talk to him first and pray hard too. Take it all to God in prayers

Bohemian Girl said...

I suggest you try talking to him about it... again. It's sad but it seems you've married an emotionally immature man. Love forgives and keeps no record of evil. You teach people to love you by the way you love yourself, so tighten up a little bit emotionally, get a grip and stop showing that you love him SO MUCH. If he refuses to at least try to change, you'll have to adjust to the situation. I don't understand men who keep malice. It's such a petty trait, but we all have our flaws. Good luck.

Favourite Girl said...

Madam am sorry for all u are going through. But the truth is, this kind of people NEVER change, they only get worst. They take pleasure in seeing their "SLAVE" sad always. I will advise u pray to God for guidance.

Highness Gwen said...

Fix it jesus

Laeffizy said...

Sorry poster. Next time you people have a quarrel and its his fault, mete out he same punishment to him. Make him beg and grovel, and after you accept his apology call your friends and report..let him see how cool his behaviour is.

My own chronicle...
Please what happened to the save the BV post? I was too sleepy to read last night, now I can't find it. It just disappeared like rapture... Hian!!!

Chike TEFLON said...

Poster, my advice to you is
Pray for 3 hours every midnight non stop for one week. Tell God to lock his mouth up spiritually.
Believe me he will born anew

SDKite to the marrow..to the f*ing marrow! said...

He's always been like this, but because of the sucker in you for love, you never did mind or you didn't see it, or you chose to ignore it! However, it's happening. You can try to change it. How? Talk to him about it when he's in a light mood. Make him understand how you hurt. You mentioned you were stubborn.. though you spiced it up by saying you let things slide. You can't brew a hot tea of yawa and then quickly apologise nah. Why don't you try avoiding the yawa as much as possible. So you don't always have to apologise..
Sometimes love isn't enough. I mean, one sided love. He may have stopped caring/loving at some point because but your overflowing love wouldn't even allow you take note. It's your love, your love, your love.
Try 'our love' for a change.... then see if there's any difference?
Moreso, try rekindling stuff that got you guys going in the past..there just might be some woman out there. Yes, when men act irritated/blow things outta proportion, unconsciously they'r emitting this vibes of 'seeing some other lady'
Remember, a man who's been used to this kinda habit as your man, finds it hard to shed it! That's where prayers come in. Let God straighten him as you begin to screw him well. As in, fuck him hard and sweet. Let nothing else matter as you ride him... when u know ya guy mumu button, most times they do what the lady wants. Cheers!

@sugarcassie said...

Na real #waa. Anyways dearie, it's not the end of the world. Call him on a day when he is happy and discuss this with him. As much as you can, stop letting this #flaw of his get to you. One thing I have realized, it's that thing you least expect the #devil uses to want to destabilize your marriage. Stop letting this flaw get to you. Don't harden your heart into becoming what you are not. Be happy, and pray, God answers #prayer. The word of #God says, the heart of kings are in His hands....

Anonymous said...

Ama da fun e ooo ..she come dey cry'claiming saint argentina hia,you beta change character b4 anoda woman cari am.😗

JAMES ADE said...

I'm so sorry about this, that's why marriage is for better or worse. Let me state it the better is when U both smile, sex, party, gist, and the worse is what U don't like about him my dear. You are such a lovely wife for admiting your wrongs and accepting U are sometime stubborn infact God bless you for that. There is a solution to the problem U have maritally and please pray God touches his heart, reach out to your pastor and let him to talk to him about the dangers in exposing his home to third parties. God bless u madam, U are indeed a good wife

Wild Rose said...

Words of wisdom...

Peppi said...

Chief chief... !
Madam chief said you should stoooopet oya stoopet.. No dey beg again

Anonymous said...

It's the upbringing he had
He was made to believe men are gods and wives should crawl and beg
If he has a reasonable mother tell her so that she can rebuke him when he comes to them, he needs someone to tell him "go and settle it with your wife,it is not our business "

mummy jay said...

Don't worry urself,the love u have for him will soon fade and he will see the other side of you. it has happened to one anabi in the past,

BLOGLORD said...

I think your husband has some deep rooted insecurity issues,
Some inner demons he is fighting.
So whenever he has a disagreement with you, he strives to show
"I am the man"

I think he is a coward who is trying so hard to be seen as a "man"

Try to give him the silent treatment most times.
Pele. Your hubby go de alright

Peppi said...

Did you not see the part where she said "I miss the guy I dated" it means he was not like that.. People change.

Poster listen to queen n boss. Your husband is broke and bitter

mummy jay said...

Madam when it com to marriage matter just keep kwayet and allow the married one to advise, shogbo.if u are this wise why are u still a gwegz?

Anonymous said...

Madam, you mentioned that "you can be stubborn. . ." Stop being "stubborn" since you can see that it isn't helping you.
Again; did you go to any "place" (medium, babalawo etc.) to "tie him" or "knack pigeon on his head" like some "bus" says in this blog. If you did, it is time to repent and call upon God to heal you and save you.
Whatever be the case, call upon God for he never fails.

St.FranKooL.... said...

#If we can really understand the problem, the answer will come out of it, because the answer is not separate from the problem*

La' Sunshine said...

1000 likes doppel. Sister girl your husband is emotionally abusing you, stop begging him please. When you love a man more this is what happens.

La' Sunshine said...

1000 likes doppel. Sister girl your husband is emotionally abusing you, stop begging him please. When you love a man more this is what happens.

Anonymous said...

I don't like you but you made sense. The best way to treat people's f*up is to ignore them. Like nothing happened. You will see him change. Try praying too.

Isaacson said...

Doppel I don't know how you do it all the time,but you give out sound and valid advice dear...I know chronicles will never be my portion but your advice will always be needed by me😁😁😁

Poster follow this advice

Anonymous said...

I thought i was the one that wrote this until i saw the part where you kneel and cry until he forgives you. My husband can remember what i did 10yrs ago, he always brings it up anytime we quarrel, the issue of reporting to people, he's so good at it, not even to my people but his parents but he has stopped that now because the last time he did, what i did to him, he will never forget. I think most of them are like that.. sit him down and talk to him

beautiful godly said...

Love conquer all things ,but
you have to be matured about it,
most times you ignore him ,
make him feel less important ,
develop thick skin,
don't let him get to you.
And be prayerful, ask God for direction always
Good luck

Tiwa

Anonymous said...

Queen ooo,a ka n'ekwu nke ikwuru yesterday,ikwu ozo,ikwakwakwa

Shyla said...

Seems he is petty and needs a lot of growing up to do. You've got two babies in your hand, ma'am.

Ed said...

Exactly... Poster just listen to what Dopel said.

straight shooter(allergic to bullshit*) said...

Seconded

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

Hahahaha baby daddy and broke ass man. I wonder when women go get sense. Every time you cry and beg foolish men when they are wrong. Na wa for una women oo.

I pray you all wake up from una slumber.

Madam continue begging and crying, you started it. Go and look for work to do so that money can flow

Anonymous said...

Another one sided story. And both kids will be putting a whole big man you say you love down. Just watch comments. Is this not as well a public 'putting down' on a man you say you love? When they are through with his personality here and you are through with reading it, let's see how much of him remains for you to love or mend issues with. You too have a problem in the 'problem with your marriage. You slightly mentioned it but didn't magnify it like you did that of your husband. That you are stubborn! As attention is to women so is respect to men. Men also have emotions, don't always think while you lash out due to your being emotional and he appears bland, hardened...he is battling and suppressing his. If you behave like a man to a man, he will treat you like a man, if you behave softly as the weaker person and channel your argument respectfully...you will see him mellow and pamper you.

straight shooter(allergic to bullshit*) said...

I believe the husband is immature too, poster stop begging him, he has seen how much you love him and is using it against you, please stop making him feel like he is the center of your world, you sef make shakara for him, youre the woman, youre the one supposed to be knelt down for ,please try your best to let him know your annoyance and stop showing love, let him see that you know your worth!

Intelligentsia princess said...

Na siddon look I dey ooo..
Poster it is well with you..
That's why is not good to show men you love them more than they love u.

Fan Emmanuel said...

I think this is a good idea.
Nne stop begging the yeye shaid,develop a thick skin and also start reporting him to his family and friends.
Some men di very childish

Oluyomi Odukoya said...

This is exactly what happens when you let your husband know everything about you, I mean EVERYTHING. I'm not saying you should not love your husband, but you do not tell him everything, especially things you might have done in the past. Most men use that to insult their wives anytime a misunderstanding crops up.

Also, I have come to realise that when a man is not really buoyant, he tends to take it out on the wife.

Dear poster, you just have to develop a really tough skin and do not let him see his words affect you. He does these things because of the love you have for him and he sees through you that you love him more.

It's time to Act like a lady, think like a man.

Anonymous said...

Yes like many men around, he is very childish. It can be very trying to have a husband that is a boy mentally yet you have to treat him as an adult and have him take control of things. His type are manipulative (I draw a very long line from this stage before it gets worse. Bad mouthing is a terrible thing and should not come from spouses), abusive and self righteous. I doubt any talk can change him but no harm in trying to point these things out when he is in a good mood and can take it. He is your husband and you should know what catches his sober attention. Then if you really love him like you say, do you believe he loves you too even if not as much as you do? If he really does love you and just acting out for some reason that is unclear to us here, then you should learn to adapt. You don't take his tantrums seriously, you treat him as a child you cannot discard but most importantly focus on other things that brings you joy, something of your own. As a human being, you will be making a life mistake if you put your happiness in the hands of another. Everyone is here struggling for themselves. Save yourself first before another. Good luck to you.

Anonymous said...

If we take decisions while dating because we see some signs, I don't think anyone would be married at all o. LOL.

Anonymous said...

Terrible horsebands. Please where are the happily married women? Please send in chronicless na so singles like us have hope there are still good men worth marryin out there. We know human beings are not perfect but let's hear it for the men, fathers that are imperfect but wonderful.

LIGHT said...

All i can see in your write up is that he knows how much you love him and he has taken it for granted. You have turned yourself into a foot mat because of love/marriage, im sure you were always quick to beg when you were dating and always clinging. Madam,stop all these your kneeling, crying, worshipping and all. He is obviously not mature. Get yourself off the floor woman, develop a very thick skin, when you wrong him apologize and end it there,dont take it further by kneeling and crying. Live your life for yourself and your child, stop living your life for him. If you think worshiping him will make him love you more,you are deceiving yourself. Stop torturing yourself. Don't subject yourself to emotional blackmail so that you don't become depressed or develop sickness that will render your child motherless.

Anonymous said...

You get sense no be small.that's what i always tell people.

oguike akudo said...

Pls stop begging him. See any time you offend him make him to apologize to u... are u not beautiful enough to make your hubby beg for your attention? Use your power as a woman.

Anonymous said...

Annon 15:27.Na only me and you God go bless for this blog!.cos odas no get sense to advice ..all they know is thick skin...and most here are single fucking mom" looking for more fraustrated disciples like em.ishhh.🙄

SANDY NEKY said...

Dem no de hear at all. Beg fire! Not saying we cant beg our spouse but not at all times jare especially when hes wrong? Hell naaaaah! Bone am, he go de alright😂😅😆Bloggie oo, you really sabi!

Anonymous said...

How many have you met Olosho fav girl?

Esther Mgbolu said...

You married a boy that feels like he is a god before you.I guess it's because he knows how much you love him and by the way,didn't you see some of this before marrying him?well the best thing for you to do is whenever you notice you guys are about to start your quarel or watever,you just keep quiet,ignore him or change the topic,if it doesn't work,then you need to grow a thick skin and not apologise(two can play the game)

Anonymous said...

You be idiot for this yeye comment !u no see wia she stated dat she's a stubborn she goat??
Fraustrated biches advicing pipu upandan.Tueeh na motor go kill una.
Sdk blog breaking home since creation.

Anonymous said...

My dad at 66 just started this. I pity my mom. His mom my grandmother 88 still controls him who is about to be a grandfather.

JSBunny said...

Yeah, some men are like That. And the fact you are soooo lovey dovey and grovel and beg, it'll sure make him continue. Next time, when he calls family meeting on your head, just keep mute and let all of them talk all their talk. If they say brg your husband, just say a simple "sorry". No just do peem! Afterwards, ignore and behave like nothing happened. Its cos you show so much emotion it makes him feel on top. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Grow thick skin my dear, or you'll just give yourself hbp.

Classic Chic! said...

Wow..@ mummy jay! U could just say she made a point n then u move on, kilode?
Na wa! We need DAT protest cos this country is turning people into wot they are not!

Poster follow doppels advice.

QUEEN AMY Loves ACCESS BANK said...

Mummy Jay you sound so jealous and stupid

Happyheart said...

Mummy Jay why the insult? She has a right to her opinion same as you. Pls let's stop the insults

SANDY NEKY said...

Hahahaha! No be small chronicle be yours o. Observer and analyzer of sdkb😁check well dear, Its still there. Happy sunday!

Scarlett said...

Wow! Speechless! Learn to express yourself to your husband. I'm sure you both can work it out.

Anonymous said...

Poster, you have not told us the real side of this story. Are you sure you are not contributing to the quarrels? How can a man just wake up and not want to talk to his wife or rather keep malice with his wife for a long time. Hmm...This story sounds a bit familiar. I don't think it's proper to tell us that you also contribute financially to the upkeep of your home. If am not wrong, marriage entails a lot. Forget about ego and have a heart to heart talk with your husband. I pray all goes well with you both.

xxxTrinityxxx said...

Thank you bloglord!! I pity the woman. God will heal her marriage though

Anonymous said...

Poster, you have not told us the real side of this story. Are you sure you are not contributing to the quarrels? How can a man just wake up and not want to talk to his wife or rather keep malice with his wife for a long time. Hmm...This story sounds a bit familiar. I don't think it's proper to tell us that you also contribute financially to the upkeep of your home. If am not wrong, marriage entails a lot. Forget about ego and have a heart to heart talk with your husband. I pray all goes well with you both.

Laeffizy said...

Ah, sandy I don see am. My eyes dey play 10 10 with me.
Did you get my mail?

Anonymous said...

Okay let me be very blunt here. You cannot change a fully ass grown man! No Ma'am. Sorry but you cannot. He is bitter and frustrated and you have become his object of abuse. You are the last person to intercede here especially if you have never being that person that influences his decisions. Just like any other addiction or habits,  we change when we have simply reached that point within us when we know without a doubt there is nothing else to do but change,  with or without intervention.
My advise to women is to be proactive in their life decisions. Have a life other than marriage because there are two adults involved whose interest might someday begin to clash and if the heat gets too much, one person might have to thrown out of the bus by all means whether by force or not. So you must plan your life from scratch,  have something to fall back on always. This way, everyone respects the other and is aware they are all in a marriage because of love, devotion and respect and not just for survival. Marry someone whom you share similar ideals and value especially human relationship. Watch how your spouse handles pressure and challenges before you marry.  Compatibility not just about loving the same food and movies. Please, those are nice but are not IT at all.

Poster, I hope you learnt something here today. Don't be so quick to start considering maybe you made a mistake marrying your husband. There is your vow and your son to think of. He is not physical with you ... yet thankfully. Now you must make sure it doesn't get to that stage. You must begin to respect yourself as a humanbeing first. If you have a husband and you cannot talk honestly, it's not worth it. You should be able to discuss your pains and challenges, support each other, be nice and kind to one another, show love and understanding, understanding,  and understanding. You talk to him very well. Hope he listens. You must stand your grounds when you should. What is not cool will never be cool. What he cannot take, he should not do to you. I hope you do have something to fall back on if he goes  ballistic on you for trying to be happy in life. Otherwise,  it's time to start planning for something while you exercise the ultimate patience. So help you God!

Anonymous said...

Dear poster I was experiencing the same thing until our neighbour who is an elderly person stepped in and counselled us. He had to tell both of us never to call or involve any 3rd party in our issues and to communicate any grievance together. He prayed for us and and I've bin praying too since then we hv dad peace. So I think you could try getting som1 to talk with the both of u mind you the person must be a matured man of God that will not take sides. U won't bliv it he dint even let us go into details. He just asked what d we thought the problem we were having was and that was it.

BLOGLORD said...

Lol Sandy

ukwu dimond said...

What happened madam that your loving and sweetest hubby suddenly changed into something else, where did you go wrong, how did things get to him that makes your husband to treat you like you are a no body?

You need to have a heart to heart talk with him to find out where you went wrong, prayer is the master key, talk to God about your husband, tell him how you feel each time he report your fight to third party. I can't take third party into my marriage, never will I take it.

Iphie dearie said...

Mummy jay that is a nasty thing to type.

If the married were so wise,why is their chronicles 90% here??
You think anyone has monopoly of a particular subject?
When i think you people have typed it all,i come and see something sooooo out of this world dumb.
Jeeezzzz!!!

Anonymous said...

Anon 16:16, if God wan bless you before, this your comment don deny you. Wetin single mom do you for your life? You don die yet? You know if tomorrow you go join them? You think say na moimoi to be a woman in this country let alone a single one? You cannot respect them for doing mostly alone what two people is meant to do but you dish out judgment like you are God. Better change your ways for Karma really pays back in EXACT coins. Be very careful, madam married.

Anonymous said...

It takes two to tango but you will be delusional to believe Nigerian men have a serious problem that's causing marriages to break. I see my beautiful ladies killing themselves for their husbands who are just very comfortable being difficult to please and threatening divorce at the slightest provocation. I have two sons and I'm raising them to be fantastic future husbands to good hearted women wit intact self esteem.

Anonymous said...

Hello madam poster, if you said you can be stubborn then check yourself please. Let's not be quick to fly into conclusions . We agree to having some terrible men who still think growing up is all about feeding bottle but we women at atimes can be the architect of our marital problems .
If you are stubborn, pls change
And if you are innocent, you need to talk to your husband face to face. When he is in a good mood, just sit him down and talk with him in a nice voice or when lovy lovy just say baby pls I have something bothering me while you still keep kissing , then say can we keep our problems within us alone pls. Then you can tell him you don't like third parties in your issues. He will agree sharp sharp because the dick is hard. Where do you want him to pour the sperm if he disagrees ? So there's every possibility he might reason and even apologise for the wrongs he did in the past.
Men are like babies, treat them gently and with caution. You are a woman stop the lamentation and work your marriage out.
I will tell you the truth, there is no perfect marriage out there. Everyone is on his or her toes trying to make it perfect.
Pray as well every day for your husband .No matter how hard a mans heart is, the bible says the heart of kings are in Gods hands and he directs them like a water course . Impossible is nothing with God Almighty
Stay strong and stop the lamentation.
Do the needful and leave the rest to God
Remain blessed sis.

Dope PH BaBe said...

And you no get shame akwuna

Dope PH BaBe said...

Why do you people enjoy calling people's spouse nasty names? Can't you advise without the name calling? Is it wrong for one to bring her/his problem here to seek solutions

Anonymous said...

You have spoilt your hubby with unnecessary attention. I'm very good at saying 'sorry'. Buh when my man goes wrong, I let him say sorry well, and make sure he means it. You can't take advantage of me. If I know how to treat u like a king, d least you can do is treat me like a queen. The next time he wrongs u, make him mean his sorry else give him badass attitude. To hell with his cheap sorry

MrsB said...

Mummy Jay, that's an utterly silly statement to type. What nonsense? If you don't agree with her, why is it a herculean task for you to ignore? Married or not, nobody has a monopoly of knowledge.
Please don't let me type more o as not to insult you further. You owe her an apology BTW.
Taunting someone because of their marital status says a lot about you.
Oshisco

chinenye lilian said...

Mummy jay keep quiet, if u are also this wise u would know u should post ur own comments separately go jejely, why comment under someone else's shogbo.

Doppel gives good advices u should ask for some words of wisdom n not shut her up plz

Anonymous said...

Which big baby, my dear, u can only carry ur cross o cos I doubt he will change,even prayers doesn't change men like this,i can bet u saw all these traits in courtship and went ahead to marry him. My story is just like urs, I walked away from a four years courtship even went I was almost knocking the 30 door. It was just emotional blackmail upon blackmail,reporting me to everyone,painting me the bad one, no past issue was ever left in the past, chai,ontop he kept stalling wedding plans, I was sapped emotionally, I wasn't just happy,he felt cos of my age I wouldn't leave,tge fights n arguments were too much.he will even break up with me n come back again, I took all manner of shot, but you know what, I damned what the world would say cos to them he was the angel and I walked away,i forsaw a life of unhappiness, I wanted much more and I am glad I did today, me loving him wasn't enough cos I was unhappy.i am getting married to the best man I met a year after I left him and he is the best gift ever from God. Sorry any ur plight,ignore him, love yourself more please,u put him first that's why he hurts you this much.

Suzzy Ibrahim said...

Give him a dose of his own medicine. It works faster.

Anonymous said...

My dear,My husband is exactly like this.He loves PITY PARTY,the moment we argue over minute things,he goes to his sisters place to fill her in abt all the activities in our house,He involves half of the church members in our marital issues as well as our friends using LIES and EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL.i can't communicate freely,cos he'll store and change stories.He has literally destroyed my relationship with his family members,Church members and school friends.I am so oo emotionally drained that I don't relate with him anymore.Communication is at Zero level.i'm so oo disgusted.Infact the marriage is heading towards DIVORCE

White Eagle said...

Poster I think you need a change for starters. He is soooooo used to the crying you, the begging you and the slave you. Yeah. Stop all these. He enjoys seeing you crying and begging. You can talk to him when he is in a lighter mood. Maybe do something he really likes then in the throes of happiness you can chip in the discussion (mind how u start it though, don't be annoying). After that if he continues, then u just have to pay him in his own coin(rubs hands together) oh how I love this part!! Make him beg and grovel for your forgiveness. You have to change o(well not the type of vuhari change kinda). Good luck lady

White Eagle said...

And mind you, you also need someone to tell him point blank that he should be man enough to keep his family issues private. Settle issues just between you both. Only weak mean do what he does.

Anonymous said...

how can you curse like this? Do you know if you will meet daybreak tmrw or not?

Anonymous said...

Can we talk? Please how can I contact you?

Anonymous said...

Madame the Lord is your strength. I understand well what you're going through. Your husband isn't happy. He is frustrated and immature. He has self esteem issues and is foolish. He may have had issues while growing up (siblings rivalry, parents putting him down always, bullying, etc)
He will blame you for all his life problems and even add jara when reporting you to his goons and family. It's a sick situation and very shameful. The only solution is you allowing him lead. When he makes foolish decisions and it bounces in his face he will use shame to calm down. He wants to be the man leading and calling the shots. Allow him cuz that's the way forward. When quarrels want to brew withdraw n walk away. Say nothing! Over time when he sees you're not arguing or fussing but just being a calm withdrawn person he will calm down. It's a self esteem issue. Maybe his dad treated as mom same way. Parents bring up your kids in God's way. They're learning ooooo.
Ekamma

4everlove said...

ur husband sounds like an igbo guy (biggest cry babies i know). It appears that your husband takes joy in seeing you cry and humiliating you. So, Stop crying and begging. Avoid arguments with him. If he wants to turn up then you turn down. If he takes offense and u think ur at fault, apologize. If not remain silent. Apologize once and only once. If he complains to his family, be polite and let them know that you have heard and your grateful for their input. Finish. Don't have any further discussions. You need to be a strong women for yourself and ur son. Take care of yourself and find joy anyway you can.

Mama fifty said...

He is passing through a phase, because of economic situation with him,be patient with him,but next time he report to his family be diplomatic and claim ignorance of any case,also go to God in prayers concerning the situation, there is nothing God can not do.pls keep ur marriage.

Anonymous said...

God bless you for this. I pray she gets to read your advice. Just scroll up and see the names they've called her hubby... Useless man...Brokeass man...Stupid man...Insecure man etc etc.
Poster, i guess your happy now that your darling husband has been publicly shamed.
Please, kindly ignore these devlish advice from some ladies here. Some are frustrated and bitter women whose expertise is to dish out evil advice.
Please work on yourself. Pray for your husband, and always communicte with him.
Dont let the Devil destroy your marriage because you listened to strangers on an Anonymous blog.

Anonymous said...

You see? That mummy was obviously among ppl on nhn post the other day saying singles shouldn't advice married ppl because they have no experience. I hope you don't ask for things from singles too,stupid nonentity!

Anonymous said...


i must say bravo for your effort to put in this write-up together, you are not alone and it gladings my heart to know i am not a lone, pls i know how you feel, seriously i know because i myself have passed through it, for example waking up on the bed one morning and hear my inlaw greeting me in the parlour they have come to settle matter between me and my husband that slept on the same bed. this happened countless times.
so pls focus on your child and all that makes u happy, if a man talk too much he will talk about his wife badly, he is looking for support, so pls ignore him and pray to God to arrest his heart, there is nothing God cannot do. the only different between my husband and yours is that he is financially stable and those not keep malice. may God continue to help us.

Anonymous said...

Dopple darlyn, I think I'm clever but you are way too much. Biko can I contact you privately for an important advice so that these chop and clean mouth bad belle people will not benefit. Ndi ara

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...