Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Service Year Boulevard 78

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Saturday, 11 February 2017

Service Year Boulevard 78

Some people were 'Serviced' all through their Service year..LOL





Good day Madam Stella *insert all the ass kissing people do on the blog*. I hope my SYB won't be too long to read.



INTRODUCTION


I was both trilled (Wawuu, im going to a new place) and skeptical (they have many people living with HIV) when I was posted to obubra camp in cross river state,the way people were shaking my hands and telling me congratulations I thought I had hit jackpot till I got to obubracamp camp.

THE JOURNEY

Since I did not have flight money and I was not an Edo Babe, I knew that journey was going to be 18 hours long by road,so I decided to divide the journey into two days. I travelled to PH first, then from PH to obubracamp.



REGISTRATION


Registration would have been tedious if I did not come with my own method, even when I was in school, I was the Queen of late Registration. For example if a certain Registration was to take place from mon-fri,trust me when I say that place will be crowded Monday to Thursday and the place will be empty on friday, you will never see me there until Friday where I will stroll in and do All my registration at once *wink*



OTONDO LIFE

Before I entered camp, I have heard lot of people talking about how they regretted their camp experience cause they went there with the mind of doing big boys and girls and did not have fun cause they were uptight so I went with the mind of mixing and having fun to the fullest. Too be honest,the food was not that bad *shoutout to the team I never ate Kitchen food like as if it is rep*. I was walking with one Babe like that and we were cool till she met up with one other light skinned girl and they start speaking through their noses and saying innit,gonna,i just shifted from her and started walking with one other yoruba Muslim girl and that was when fun started in camp for me,we were always together and I was escaping lectures by sleeping in the mosque,she would give me her scarf to tie, there was a day that I received a call in the mosque,i did not know when I shouted Jesus and all the hijab sisters turned to look at me since they thought I was a Muslim sister. I participated in parade and I marched on the last day. 




Maami was another issue to tackle,i have heard girls talk about how they did not spend one naira in camp, I did not know I was going to join #teamfindaguytosponsemaami. While other girls were thinking the money was with the yoruba demons * yoruba boys have a way of making mouth you will believe them* or the Igbo light skinned brothers, me and my friend hit jackpot with the Hausa boys. Jesus,these boy are boxed up. The trick behind it is this, for an Hausa to be educated to university level,most times there is someone with serious money in that family and my theory proved to be right,my innit friend *remember her,the one I was walking with at first * did not understand what I see in the hausa clan in camp till she ate one meal with us. These boys ended up being the ones with the coolest PPA and easiest redeployment while their #MancrushMaami ended up in villages and schools. The day we were collecting our 1500, that was how we saw plenty of the so called big boys struggling for 1500 too.



LESSONS I LEARNT IN CAMP


1) I learnt a little about some cultures. For example one of my Hausa friend was telling me that if a man has 4 wives and want to marry more,you can divorce the first wife and settle her with house in another state and money so you can have space for another one


2) I think the west (yoruba side) has the best exposure, I am not saying the igbo people are dullards but the ones that are even brilliant, apart from book,they don't know any other thing. Even their guys were still chauvinistic.they lack exposure,I don't really know how to explain it but there are just some things you are suppose to know,they don't just know it then the south south University, most of their student are not sound upstairs *at least the Igbos are actually brilliant in their field,South south people that schooled in their side paid their way through school from 100 level to final year. Their own is even worse,no exposure,no brain.



 I happen to be there when they were talking about the different price of sorting in their schl and how much they paid to graduate. Hausa pple are alright,they just struggle with english and it makes them self conscious cause most of them tell me "sorry about my english" before they start conversation with me. But you will meet someone from the west even the igbos and Hausa that grew up there,they are all round, they know the latest things,know trump is an idiot,know the latest music and keep up with life generally.



POSTING
While the famous OBS is the hottest cake in camp,there are other medium to get yourself to the capital like me I got posted to calabar cause I played volleyball *they take very good players in case NYSC has a competition. After giving us plenty talk of don't change your posting, people changed their posting even in camp. I was posted to a school, I knew I was not going to be able to teach because, I am a disciplinarian and I won't be able to teach without beating and I don't want all these children to gang up and beat me, so I found greener pasture. Oh and before I forget. The food is not all that in Calabar (I was lacking sweet steady after meals) and calabar is a sleeping town that comes alive just a week in a whole year (calabar festival).



SETTLING


Accommodation is expensive in Calabar so I took a room with a girl I met in camp (200k plus 20k agent fees) but I took hotel so no need to buy bed and other things (the only down side is when you re going out at night and you are dressed up waiting for a cab in front of the hotel,you will look like a working prostitute). People can pretend oh, my roomate claimed to be a virgin and even talks like one until the day I found postinor2 Park in the room,i even thought it was mine for a min,until I saw a used condom wrapper that was when my doubt cleared that I was not the owner. 



My fellow female corpers have spoilt service to the extent I now nod in understanding when guys are laughing at their friend that the girlfriend is going for service. Jesus,people are doing things,sleeping with everybody and anybody, I believe all these runs things should end in school. And female corpers reputation is so bad now that we are grouped into another class of runs girls. If you just introduce yourself as a corper,yiu will see the way the guys there will be drooling like as if you are a fan soup. Well service has been good and I will be through in the next 3 month.



GOOD THINGS ABOUT CALABAR


1) the road network is superb and there is no holdup/go slow

2) their lawns/field are free for parties,you can just rent canopy and throw your party anywhere cause they have nice green lawn.

Good lawd,I have just two good things to say.



BAD THINGS ABOUT CALABAR


1) The amount of Calabar unstable people (mad) on the street is like redeem church vision,1 Every 5 minutes walk. It is alarming,they are way too much.

2) the men start drinking from like 8:30 in the morning at bars. True story.

3) the level of illiteracy is too high. I work in a place where I deal with people at least 100 everyday and the amount that appear knowledgeable and ready to reason is too low,the rest just want to fight.

4) They have these set of children mostly boys (skolombo boys) they live on the street, rape women sometimes and steal, they re popular in Calabar and everybody know but they are still roaming the street, in a better state they would have been taken to juvenile home.



CONCLUSION


I hope I did not bore you with my service year story and I will be finishing my service in 3 months time.



`*I love the people from this tribe because of their food..kaiiiiiiiiii...stop watching your room mate and mind your business,is it your 'fake virginity'?

Meanwhile you wack 404?



70 comments:

Becky Divine said...

Is this your Service Year Boulevard or story about When You Visited Calabar???

You were busy judging other people, their people and their culture... You actually forgot to tell us your story.
Wehdone Ma

becky naka said...

Nice story, meanwhile ph is leading with the highest number of insane people.

missylynn said...

Nice story and calabar is a lovely place to go

Minnie Rexpect said...

Your SYB sounded like you were criticizing everyone in a bad way except you.
You saw the bad in hausa, Igbo Yoruba even south south... Only you, which one is now good for you?
In a bid to sound like an interesting story teller you ended up sounding boring. Yeah your SYB was annoyingly boring.

BLUNT CHIC said...

Your story is not 'sweet'. You went all out condemning without telling us the fun part.

Anonymous said...

I must say u a stupid egotistic, tribalistic shegoat I have come across south south are dull my foot who r u to make assertion from ur 3wks in camp. I come from Edo state and am working in ibadan it would amaze you to know that your glorified yoruba tribe are the most lazy set of people I have seen in my life.on Monday 9am no shop or store is opened for business u want to buy something cause ur domination is big they won't collect it cause they don't have change. And also the rate of beggars here is alarming even able bodied men go de beg for street . Stupid hungry you a girl . And am a guy if u shud know south south people are always sharp and smart..

Mao Akuh said...

Nice one

Miss Ess said...

See as you wash my humble state and the tribe like rag weh dem take clean gutter. Calabarians are educated but very reserved people. Dont judge by what you saw in just a year you stayed for service.

Pipi Lee said...

If I start highlighting all the typos in this unnecessarily lengthy piece, you will be 'amazed' at your level of literacy which obviously is way below par. Where are you from again? And what school did you Graduate from?

"...i am not an Edo babe", you sound foolish.

Calabar dishes are all that and more.

Boring story except the Mosque scene.

Fuck you said...

Ur story sweet but ure a judgmental bitch

trolling baby said...

Chey dis girl u are stupid dats all I hv to say... tell me say u no fuck for dat calabar now? Waste sperm.. u should hv come out as period

Arab Money said...

Boring story!
You were busy judging everyone and forgot to have fun. JESUS LOVES YOU

Anonymous said...

Stop beefing her. It was interesting

BONDRESS said...

Plenty likes for this. She was busy with criticism she forgot her SYB story...little miss acritic abeg park!

Ibukunoluwa said...

U said u don't have mknry for flight and u are not an Edo...are u trying to tell me now that Swaggie and Roro baby fly everywhereπŸ˜‚
Stopeet oπŸ˜‚

Ibukunoluwa said...

I'm ur part of IB bro
I have folks in Ib and they aren't lazy

Ibukunoluwa said...

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

Ibukunoluwa said...

Yeah rightπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

Ibukunoluwa said...

Exactly
She no even tell us whether she gbensh

Corper W said...

Nice write-up. When you shouted 'Jesus' in the mosque got me laughing.

Meanwhile, u never see mad people until you go OKIGWE in Imo State.

prettyASfuck prettyASfuck said...

BTW, your SYB bored the crap outta me. Not even one mention of a toaster, expect the one who sponsored your meals in camp, who does that? We need gbenshig stories abed

Anonymous said...

She can't even speak english and she's condemning others. SmH... Very dull girl! Mtchewwwww......

Anonymous said...

What is this one saying? The yorubas are exposed my foot! It's only Lagos based...Go to other western states and see. Those pple don't know how to hustle and make money..where I served in Ekiti, after secondary school the boys would carry Okada while girls carry belle. You didn't enjoy Calabar meals because it's not infested with Pepper and iru. See the other one that day talking about Enugu. Enugu town that I have been to and was wowed! You pple should just say you don't knw how to flex. I served in one village in the west and I still had fun. See the way you are analysing someone's postinor and used condom as if you are a saint. No place is boring when you are with the right set of pple. It all depends on your priorities. You are obviously a not so fine Babe with esteem issues if not how that your friend's 'innit and gonna' take affect you? If they do innit, you do your own innit too. Just say you were jealous cos she found another friend you felt you could nt meet up with. YIMU!

Classic Chic! said...

Don't mind this yeye poster! She dsnt have anything good to say abt Cali! Now lemme educate u!

1 - u said there are mad people roaming the streets?
Yes, its true there are mad people, its not like u mentioned! Be exposed. Go to other states see for yourself.

2 - u say d men start drinking from 8?
Pardon me, where did u stay? If u stay at places like calabar south, what do u expect? For people who don't know, calabar south is like ajegunle of Lagos, where almost all d people u come across in a day are agberos!
Stay in places like calabar municipal n u will see d difference!

3 - illiteracy level is too high!? Who conducted d survey? Is it u? Sorry.

4 - about skolombo boys
They exist!
During d govt. Of liyel imoke, they were all picked up n put in a sheltered home receiving education but they rebelled n went back to d streets, they were actually receiving tutelage from d gvnors wife.
Let's just call this skolombo boys an abandoned project!
U know how Naija is, wen one govt is over, d next one refuses to continue d projects of d past administration.
We are still.waiting to see what this govt will do.


Classic Chic! said...

And to add...your syb was BORING!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Boring and annoying story!
With your fake observations wey nobody send you. Mtchewwww!

Anonymous said...

Boring and annoying story!
With your fake observations wey nobody send you. Mtchewwww!

Anonymous said...

I don't like the generalizations you were about various tribes

Anonymous said...

Help me tell her. I was just put off by the generalizations.

Pipi Lee said...

Hahahahaha, Becky aff vex.

Precious Ibik said...

In a bid to sound literate you ended up sounding judgmental and unfriendly. Ohh maybe you just didn't sound that way but just showed us your true self. You have a bad thing to say about everybody. Well done.

Starjoy said...

Your story for too sweet if say you tell us the truth!

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed her write up!!!


Her criticism made her story unique #IamIgbo.


Cooper, ,,enjoy the 3 months u have left,,but remember to fuck with caution

Anonymous said...

U are stupid!!!

Anuofia!!

Anonymous said...

Usu ra kwa gi.

Anonymous said...

Nkita
Racha
Kwa otula
Gi.

Precix Cakes Abeokuta said...

Your write up about the south south schools is true. But when you meet those that went to school with their brain and not sorting they are exceptional. You criticized everyone that I was wondering which tribe you are from.

Anonymous said...

You dey craze

Anonymous said...

Nkita
Racha
Kwa otula
Gi.

Anonymous said...

Funny u!!!!

Anonymous said...

Na Lie

♥Ozone baby♥ Ozone Cakes, Onitsha/Owerri. 08147224581 said...

I love reading SYB, but can't deal with the headache that comes with the grammar and punctuations. I sometimes wonder how some of the posters actually made it through school with that bad English. Even the ones that studied "in the abroad".

Anonymous said...

See the way you were busy judging people from other tribes and culture while you didn't even mention where you come from. People like you are part of the problem we have in this country, ignorance is really bad.

Anonymous said...

The most stupid SYB I have read.
Poster sounds like the typical Lagos-Yoruba girl who thinks life begins and ends in Lagos and anything across the Niger isn't exposed. What stupid Buffon!

Anonymous said...

Don't mind the poster.. She sounded so arrogant and at the same time managed to show her ignorance. So because you met how many south- south people in camp,you decide to generalise that they all don't know nothing. For your information,I went to a university in the 'south- south' graduated with a second class upper through my blood and sweat. I never sorted and never slept with any lecturer as God is my witness.went to law school and made a second class upper and I n doing pretty well in my career. I bet she went to unilag,they are so pompous. The only girl that failed law school in my room went to unilag but she was as humble ad they come. Just 9 months in calabar and you have managed to know all the characteristics of the different ethnic groups in Nigeria? Borrow yourself sense there,my friend d.

Weed Chic said...

my roomate claimed to be a virgin and even talks like one until the day I found postinor2 Park in the room,i even thought it was mine for a min,until I saw a used condom wrapper that was when my doubt cleared that I was not the owner.

πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

*lights up some good weed*

Anonymous said...

Weldone ma, Mrs Dictionary

Mtcheeew

#Tonia

Anonymous said...

And who is this self righteous girl. Your story is boring

SWAG LAFRESH said...

She's just a foolish girl.

I've said it countless times. Let your story be about orientation camp, but them no dey hear.

You go Calabar go dey count people we dey drink and mad people.

She's just one tribalistic idiot. We fly Edo Airways but we're not daft and tribalistic.

Anonymous said...

Who told you that an Hausa man settles his first wife and marries another. Thats a lie.

Anonymous said...

I no jst sandersand this girl way... talking rot upandan...from edo to hausa to igbo to her hosts...i guess shes from the west cos na only dem get passmark from am...gerrarahia bigot

Anonymous said...

She's from togo

Anonymous said...

Abi ooo....c lie

Becky Divine said...

Pipi nor mind this geh nd her annoying story lol

beautiful godly said...

Am from Edo state and we are very intelligent and good people ,we are also educated ,you cannot use few people you met to judge the rest
Pls MInd your Biz and learn how to constructs your story well next time

Tiwa

Anonymous said...

I really love your write up, it just really shows how brilliant you are. You were able to tell both the good and bad about all tribes without giving a hint about where you are from. It is just so unfortunate it is not meant for BVs of this blog.

Anonymous said...

I really love your write up, it just really shows how brilliant you are. You were able to tell both the good and bad about all tribes without giving a hint about where you are from. It is just so unfortunate it is not meant for BVs of this blog.

Anonymous said...

Chai! Worst SYB eva.4 ya info every state av deir bad syd.calabar is a lively place cos dts mai state,try n go to places n u wud knw wot am tlkn abt...u say calabar is full of illiterate and also lazy to wrk,mai dear am presently schooln in abeokuta,mehn!!!laziness flow in veins of dis egba pple and dere are only few literates amongst dem so plz stop judging and enjoy ya service...unam ikot

Prince Ekanem said...

How will you feel if an 'Educated' fellow like you gave a wrong information about your city?
So Stella darling you know what's up with 404?.... I believe you die.

The Lifted said...

she only told the story of how she perceived the city of calabar & her people & nothing really about herself or nysc....it is well

Anonymous said...

I no jst sandersand this girl way... talking rot upandan...from edo to hausa to igbo to her hosts...i guess shes from the west cos na only dem get passmark from am...gerrarahia bigot

Jasmine said...

Lol

Jasmine said...

Hahahahaha! Lafresh o

Jasmine said...

That Enugu own got me angry sha

Anonymous said...

She is surely from a very poor and uncivilized home. I know how they reason.

Anonymous said...

God bless you o. Calabar wey them know with nice cuisine. Enugu wey get better things to enjoy too. Obviously they are two dirty, ugly people no one offered to give fun

Anonymous said...

Obviously Yoruba.

Anonymous said...

Exactly. Very ugly soul.

Anonymous said...

I was born and bred in Calabar, made a 2:1 in Unical, proceeded to Law School and made a 2:1 again, served in Abuja with a top SAN, finished and moved to Lagos now practicing in a top tier commercial Law firm. My friends from Unical are on the same plane with me.

You're a supercilious idiot, you think you're educated but you're a total disgrace to the academic institutions in Nigeria. In a bid to sound like you're abreast of your surroundings, you exposed your ethno-centric bias.

I weep for Nigeria, youths that are to strategize on ways to make the "one-nigeria" dream a reality are busy acting out an age old script of ethnicity. Kindly leave Calabar for the ones (like us) that were nurtured and made to become who we are today (rising stars) and all other like minded ones like us from every tribe and tongue in Nigeria.

Arrant Nonsense...

Anonymous said...

Shut up....she forgot to add that calabar people are so promiscuous....your girls are dogs, donatus....

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