Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Friday, May 26, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm....




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRYING A SIBLING'S FORMER SUITOR

Hi Stella,

Good day , please i hope this is the appropriate time to send this in, please accept my post, I haven't been myself in months.

Please I need you to have a completely open mind about my story, please Stella for the love of God give me a response, please don’t be silent,Thank you.


Here it goes: I am a 30 year old lady, and I have been having suitors around, lovely men mostly, and I finally settled my mind on one because of the way he adored me, but I did not love him. He was desperate for us to get married, even his mum, but I was taking it slow because I had no feelings for him. 


So I started to mentally arrange myself to accept him like that (no am not desperate), because I wanted to be sure I was not being unnecessarily vain and ignoring a good man, while I prayed for God’s direction, but something strange and relatively insignificant happened, and it fell apart so easily. P.S he lives in Malaysia.


Something crazy happened last year Easter, I was not in the village because I had work in Ghana, you know the way some igbo men come to look for wife, they come to your house, in hopes that they are connected to one of the daughters or something. This man came to our family home, a friend to my father’s friend, He met two of my youngest, (as the rest and myself were not around sisters) and told my mum out rightly that he is interested in my youngest sister, she is still in the university, and honestly she is the prettiest out of all of us her siblings. 


My mum told him immediately and said she was still in school and too young, he is in his late 30’s, my sister in question is still a teenager but looks way older and matured. Although, he mentioned he is desperate to get married and all, he was looking earnestly for a wife, he stays abroad, and he mentioned to my sister that he doesn’t mind waiting for her to finish school and all, before the whole thing eventually crashed.


After the crash, something happened and we got talking, (as friends) and in the midst of the whole frequent everyday talk we started having feelings for each other. But right from day 1, I reprimanded his effort because he had shown interest in my sister previously, and he is too friendly with my other sisters. 


However, he has tried countless times to prove himself to me, but I keep thinking that he is here with me just because it didn’t work out with my younger sister. Note: The first day I eventually saw him (we were not even friends then), I looked down on him because he is relatively short and was funny dressed. 


Back to the story, we had a lot of fight about his lack of boundaries and inability to draw the line because he was overtly friendly with my sisters, of which he learnt from and he changed and started exerting boundaries. He is amazing when he wants to be but insecurity is getting the best of me, I like him a lot too, in fact we love each other and we are working towards travelling to spend more time and learn more about ourselves, he lives in Australia and I in Lagos at the moment, we started dating when he got back so we haven’t seen ourselves since then.


I have begged him to wait for what he wants, if it’s not me, instead of coming to me, and every time I step back, he begs and begs. Honestly, he has proven himself to me, because since we started dating he stopped talking overtly to my sister except ordinary pleasantries, and he said he would rather interface through me concerning anything about my family or with any member of my family. I tried starting other relationships because I have a number of people asking me out, just to distract myself from him, I focus on them, but my heart does not let me.



Spoke to my mom and she assured me there was nothing wrong and I should be careful of making rash decisions because of assumptions, instead I should pray and keep an open mind regarding him, as God works in mysterious ways.


We have prayed together concerning our relationship including fasting for it, but every time I want to relax and enjoy the relationship, my subconscious reminds me that he wanted my sister before me and should not be trusted, and since all my sisters know, they disapprove because of how it all started. 


Need I mention, we started dating when he went back abroad, so its been distance. Months ago, on my said sister’s birthday he told me he would want us to give her a gift as his sister, but from me and him together. My sister knows what is going on and even told me she does not support because he was so all over her, and now he is all over me.


I don’t want to have future regrets, please help me, I have thought hard and dissected this in all possible manner but I must confess, I am completely paranoid on this. I am talking about the future because he is talking serious and even discuss every business decision with me, including his family, and whatever he asks me, he takes the decision I give him. My friend said if it gives me lack of peace of mind I should let it go, but I honestly never thought I could love anyone as I love this man, and every day I beat myself about it, because I feel of all men and less complicated situations in this world, my heart decided to betray me this way. I feel if it is God’s will, He would not have delivered this to me in such a way, although I have learnt a lot from this crazy experience.



Please advise me honestly, from your various perspectives. I need only constructive advice, not ridiculous insults, because it is easier to judge and “have sense” when you are not in such a demanding situation. Thank you in advance Stella for your red pen advice.



*Let me get this straight,First you had the Malaysian guy whom you didn't love and it fell apart and then you fell in love with your sister's former suitor?

Is this love you profess worth the stress your relationship with your siblings will go through?Has it Occurred to you that your sister might have wanted this but your mum 'spoilt' show for her and she might be jealous and not approve?Why did you discuss this with her before starting this relationship as an Older sister?

If you ask me,I would advise you to settle things with everyone involved BEFORE YOU CONTINUE WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP!....OK?..All the best!




113 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. don't don't don't!!!! your sister will always be the one he wants. you will always be in her shadow...u will always be number 2. Please hear me....in my case I didn't know he was in love with someone else! in your case u know. u will regret it so much. you will be compared with her, you will unknowingly compete with her! it has even started sef....he wants you both to give her a birthday gift! hmmmmmm.Consider Okafors law.....

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    2. You will always be suspicious and paranoid poster, you may end up even hating the sight of your sister and suspecting her every move and your man if you get married. You won't be too happy to have her around. I agree with your friend, the fact that you have lost your peace over this says a lot. Last last you will do what you want to do sha...

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    3. Now let's get it straight,A man came for Your sister hand in marriage,it didn't work now He's after You.....#Smh#......
      You don't need advice in this because I believe Your Conscience is telling You something......Think about it carefully;how can he come for You all of a Sudden?? is he trying to taste the level of Your Stupidity? sorry i'm raw here but u need to get it right,That means u can love Your sister's Husband?
      We are responsible for the choices we make in life!! Or don't u think that the man is trying to be Vindictive?
      Have u talked to Your Sister? Believe me if u end up with that man he will not respect You..perhaps,how will u feel whenever Your sister Visits?
      My dear,You are matured enough to handle this,and You don't really need advise because the story itself is self explanatory........

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    4. Nice one ☝️ dear she's so stupid her type can date her sister's ex husband
      She can even love her sister's current husband stupid gal you didn't even wait to see if it will work out before go throw your stupid self to him
      He's still and will still be in love with your sister he even buys birthday gifts for her let the man go jo so things can work for them
      Mumu like you.

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    5. Ok poster to be real. It has happened before that a guy liked a girl she didn't b agree and he went for her friend. All was well without a problem. It is perfectly piasible he has genuine feelings for you. I'm more concerned about your paranoia. If you are hit confident his eyes are for you look elsewhere. You don't want to start a marriage on shaky trust. Think about the future after you marry will YOU be comfortable with your sis coming to stay if u have a baby etc? You will be fatter and she will even be more beautiful and in her prime. Will you be confident enough or paranoid?

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    6. Poster take it from a guy, flee away. You are a rebound and will always be second choice, you are worth more than this. The truth is you will go into marriage and one of two things will happen; he either contains to cherish you or he goes on to reveal his true self to you by flirting with your sister. By then it would be too late and you can't cry foul. If I read your story right, you are in a distant relationship with him, so heck woman you can't claim to know him. He discusses business with you don't mean shit, he was all over your sister as he is with you now he hasn't done anything different. Woman move on and find the one meant for you. Your sister disapproves of your relationship and it can't get better than that. La familia estodo, family will always be everything

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  2. There is nothing on earth like family, you make peace with people that matters to you, all is well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Desire to go abroad vs desperation

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    2. Gbam. Thats her problem. The guy is confused. Tomorrow he ll see ur cousin and still fall madly inlove with her. Ur sister might blame u in future for conspiring with your mum to steal her man.

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    3. Cheese. That's a bit harsh, has a guy never toasted a girl before she didn't agree and he went for her friend?

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  3. Replies
    1. Poster I hope u knw dat guy is still vry interested in ur sister?hs jst stylishing geting close to u and pretending hs nw in love wit u so dat he can still be close to ur family and in essence,ur sister!i feel dat guy is indecisive and up to some mischief!hs nt to be trusted o! Free d guy! Let him go and look for his missing ribs in anoda family and live ur family alone!God Wld Give U ur own u hear? D One God Wld Give U Wld Not Come with sorrow or controversy or Tears! Just Cry To God To Give U Ur own without Baggage ok? It's well with u dear!Goodluck!

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    2. You are the cause of your own problems. You encouraged him. You had eyes for him even while he was courting your sister. That is the part you did not state. It takes two to have a conversation. If you were not responding favourably, he would not have been bold to continue. Why fast and pray for guidance on something you knew you wanted from the onset?
      Do as your heart bids you. Because you will not find the validation you are seeking here.
      Pretentious!

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  4. Thief Aunty Gwenz ... You wanna snatch your sister's suitor.. Evil sibling, nobody can try this nonsense with me, personally I will deal with you for even talking with him...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 15:07, Why re you calling her qwez? Becos she is 30? Wat is wrong wit u? Adesua sat got engaged recently is 31, can u call her qwez? It's people lyk you that frustrate people close to them into bad marriages cos you will keep reminding them of their age. And know am not the poster, and no again am no upto 30. If you cannot give a reasonable advice, just shut up.

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    2. Pls stop calling her a Gwenz. I am sure that is the reason she is desperate and wanting to marry a man that was once her younger sister suitor. Pls poster use ur head and leave that man. What you are doing is wrong and Blood is thicker than water and the man doesn't sound like a responsible guy else he will walk away from your family when it didn't work out between him and ur sister.

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    3. Anon 15:07 must you contribute. Onu mgbada. Talkative. Your type of people all their power is inside their mouth. You are calling her aunty gwegz but im sure if they put her pic and yours side by side you will look like her mothers age grade. Nonsense.

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  5. You are d second option my dear, I won't be surprised if he gives ur sister doggy style in future, afterall he's friendly with ur sisters...if I were you, I won't try it.
    Goodluck n keep us updated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Such men are not to be trusted gbam.

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  6. U didn't tell us if he had slept with your sister, if yes, then forget about the relationship, but if no, try and convince your sisters to support u if not, let him go to avoid disunity in your family, wetin una see for abroad husband sef,are u ready to be his Nigerian wife, why not look for a guy here to settle down with since u have other toasters, na wah.

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    Replies
    1. Angel ray has made sense for once in her life esp without insulting someone. Glory be to Jesus!

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    2. If I can remember vividly this is almost same issue with our last wk Saturday's poster. "Being a 2nd option". Mmmmmm this is serious.

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  7. Will read comments, let me go and eat amala and ewedu, being long i ate that food

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pls order goat meat with it but I will love gbegiri and ewedu for my order.

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    2. Abeg se dat goat meat get body odour?

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    3. Hahahaha,goat meat without body odour,is that one goat meat?. Back to the matter ojare omo daada @poster, you would always feel insecure around the guy when your sisters come visiting. Imagine omugwo situation, your sister comes around for a few days, one midnight like that you wake up and don't find your hubby next to you, meanwhile your sister sleeps in another room, pray tell, what is the first thought that would jump into your mind?? Or you walk in to see them gisting and laughing(from all indications the guy is a free spirit and is only copping to your demands not to be playing with your sisters, you can't cage his character for too long). Or you need to go out and your sister and hubby are at home, what will your peace of mind level be? Abi you no go dey invite your siblings come your house because of man?. Nne abeg,long story short,you won't have peace of mind with this guy so just leave him be. But then, we can only give advise,left for you to take it or leave it.

      Sherry's daughter

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    4. He still likes her sister that is y he wants to send birthday gift na

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  8. For me,abroad husband is zero!...
    Unless you are going over there to live with him...
    Leave this nigga abeg...
    He is a pretender!...
    I can see through him with this your story...
    His type would like to gbensh your sister later later when you must have married him...
    Marriage is more deep than all those your nonsense love you claim to have for him...
    Pray about it!...
    If you are my sister,I for don waka small for you to know if you guys are compatible!...

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    Replies
    1. Queen thank u for your comment. There is sense in it. Poster, consider everything here and pray and make your decision

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    2. Juju woman

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    3. I'm not sure but this comment looks to me like somtin U shld take

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    4. Poster take this advice from Chief Mrs

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    5. She needs abroad hubby badly.Abeg leave person own pray for ur own,God is not a God of confusion.its clear that he is deceitful n u r desperate.Nigerian guys living in Nigeria r still d best except u ve a visa to the particular country so that u can see wat u r getting into.

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    6. Aunty Queen and boss, too much sense 👏 👏 😊

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  9. Hmmm
    I feel like u are just an option to him,
    And why is he allover ur sister then suddenly he's allover u?
    Think about it very well, so u wouldn't regret it

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  10. Of hall the tausands of siutors yhu had or steal ve'ng, eat is yhua sistas siutor yhu fail inloff wit. My deer beeefeees, is diss ledy north a wan🙅derfool somborii???

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  11. I would advice you quit the relationship, it doesn't work that way and by the way how is ur sis too young for him,imagine the way you painted her,she is young but looks more matured, you didn't see any other person in the world to fall in love with but a suitor that first asked ur younger sis out, pls for peace to reign in ur home quit whatever you are having with that guy and secondly he wouldn't even take you serious am telling you,it might look sweet now but he wouldn't like to take the relationship futher.it was ur younger sis he saw that made him come into ur family and not you,that interest on ur kid sis will still be there.

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    Replies
    1. Istanbul, how did she paint it? Na WA o. I have a younger sister who is ten years younger than me. She just finished ss3. If you see her, you will trip. She has all the right curves into he right places and she's huge. Me, I'm not just small, I'm also lekpa. If we go out together, it's only an elderly person that can tell she's younger.
      So, I ask again, how exactly did she paint her younger sister? Orishirishi

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    2. This happened to a friend and the man still goes behind to tell the younger sister ​he wished he married her, that she has better qualities. Imagine! Remember Leah in the Bible though not exactly the same, but I am trying to point out he fell for your sister first. Find your own man my dear.

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  12. Poster i think u should talk this out with ur sister first and in all things keep an open mind about that relationship bcos that guy doesnt sound serious.
    Bt on a second thought, im ibo too and i understand how all these returnees can be wen they are looking for a wife.
    Finally, just discuss it with ur family and make sure everyone is cool before u jumb into anytin yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love the way u write!

      I don't think it's a big deal sha, but u know how Nigeria is. If he and ur sister were not intimate and she doesn't love him den u r good to go.

      I know an American who dated 3 sisters (no sex) and is married to one of em now.

      Me thinks if you love him and vice versa, stay with him. Good thing he lives abroad ,u guys will live ur lives without having to deal with d Nigerian "judges" in your face. With time they'll get over it cos it ain't nth!

      Give it some time, no hurries, things will unfold.
      All d best.x

      Delete
    2. The sisters are already objecting. There is something off about the whole thing...

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  13. Blood is thicker than water. Don't start what you cannot finish. You marry this guy and you loose all your siblings trust in you forever .
    The guy obviously does not respect any member of your family cause if he does he won't even near your matter. Your mums sense of reasoning is biased probably because none of her daughter's are yet to get married so she does not really care the consequences of her approving of your relationship.
    Come leave the man alone and move on with your life. If you go ahead you will regret it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. My dear similar case almost happened in my house, a man came looking for a wider, saw my sis, liked her n started professing marriage. After talks with my sis, she rejected him (She's choosy) my parents spoke, we the siblings tried talking her to marry him but she had her reasons.

    When he saw it wasn't going to workout, he started drifting attention towards me, I didn't even give him the chance to get close sef. My dad made it clear to us that if the man is rejected by my sister, we shouldn't allow him belong to our family through another person.

    He is still happily single too and we are happily hooked, soon to make it legal n official.

    My dear no man is worth your relationship with your family. They are your only backup n support when the good gets tough in marriage.

    Let go of this man! You can't continue living with a disturbed mind. Mind up all he's doing n showing you, he did same to your sis.

    He IS DESPERATE!!! I pray you don't end up with him and see the beast in him unleash itself

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great example, she wasnt even suppose to give the guy audience in the first place. This poster better forget this guy and love.

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  15. My question for you is this. Did you ask your younger sister about the decision you took to date this guy before doing so? If no, please go and discuss it with her and hear her opinion on this matter.

    From all you narrated, your sister wasn't the one that refused the guy when he came for her the first time, your mum did and you never knew if she was interested in him or not.

    I'll advise you settle things with your kid sis before proceeding with this relationship. If not for anything but for your own peace of mind now and in the future. Wish you all the best.

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  16. Was this post written by a robot?

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  17. kinda agree wt SDK.. God is not an author of confusion. do you have absolute peace? your lil sis is already giving you the "he came for me first" attitude. think well & pray more, he loves you, yes. but love is usually not enough.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I agree with Stella.

    You went behind your sister's back when you should have sat her down and told her everything that's going on instead of trying to be sneaky about it. It's best to be honest so people can advise you well instead of trying to sugar coat the truth.

    Do not compromise your relationship with your sister over a man! Have a heart to heart talk with her, and if she doesn't approve... walk away! That guy has no respect for family and boundaries for him to be jumping from one sister to another.

    Later in marriage you will write another chronicle that your husband is eyeing your sister as if you didn't know his eyes were there before he now moved to you. Borrow some sense! Family and loyalty should really come first. Men come and go. #MyOpinon. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it was me, I would tell my sister immediately he showed interest in me, but u hide go de date d guy out of desperation

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  19. Stella you perfectly said it right.

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  20. Ask and talk to your sister first, then know how she sees and feels about the whole thing

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  21. I would have said you should end the relationship, but sometimes God works in mysterious ways. It is very possible that he could be the one for you even though he first asked your sister out.
    But again, from your story, it seems to me that you lack peace and you're insecure. If peace and security are missing from a relationship, then that relationship is already doomed to fail.
    I would strongly advise that you pray sincerely from an open and trusting heart to God to reveal this guy's true intentions & heart. Don't be surprised if he still loves your sister, but being with you so he can still be close to her.
    If you're open and trusting, God will show/tell you what you should do.
    Lastly, I would like you to know that in relationships & marriage, Love is not enough.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly he might secretly still like your sister and that is y he is after you nd its only a foolish man with no shame that would go from one sister to the other when billions of girls are in this world, so no shame again to look o to your mother's eyes and ask for your hand in marriage after patronising your sister? I can never marry anyone who wanted to marry my sister and am sure u are not close to ur sister that's y u are considering him and Uwa u are very desperate even if u are denying it. Better stop that foolish love shacking u nd look for someone else or are u ugly? Recieve sense in Jesus name, are there no other suitors abi na abroad be your problem? See how u are getting worked up and u r not yet married to d silly guy with no shame

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  22. A guy that probably might have had something to do with your sister, no way sis, it has gone wrong from the beginning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did she even ask her sister if they had see or if she likes the guy? Via u are not close to her cos to you she is a small girl and loooka older than u, u describe ur sister like that sef

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  23. Toh since am a novice when it comes to love matter let me go and hang my leg on the table and read comments. Nothing confuses me than love matters in this world. I cant deal mbok.







    *hangs leg on the table*

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  24. This poster sef you seem to be in comparison with your sister. I had to read again. You seem very irrational. That your sister sef is a nice girl if na me you won't be here writing this kinda chronicle. Yes they say we find love in hopeless and strange places but yours is insane love. My dear it's called forbidden fruit. Flee. You need deliverance. You where so careful not to give details on whether he slept with your sister or not. A sister like you can kill.
    The Malaysian guy gist is for what. So we know you have toasters. You must be shallow in thinking. I put it to you that even if you where in the village when that guy came over to your house the first day he would have still gone for your sister. All shades of desperation saying she's got toasters all over. Rubbish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aunty mamazo,no need for insult. This person is sincerely confused. Things like this happen. Why insult her? If u can't say anything reasonable, why not read comments and move on? Ogbanje!

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  25. Don't quit the relationship. You both deserve a chance at happiness. REMEBER YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE INCLUDING YOUR FAMILY.

    Leave marriage talk for now, and focus on the relationship growth. A man is allowed to change his mind.so nothing like an ex suitor since he did not have a romantic relationship with your sister.

    She said NO and you said YES.
    Babe go to Australia and get to know him.
    Everything in life is a risk.whether you pray or not.

    Give him a chance.
    #mytwokobo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have a low self esteem just like the poster. I pity your friends in real life. Someone like you can sleep with ur sister or friend boyfriend/husband. You have no conscience vicky U. You are not loyal. Fear God

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    2. Idiot vickpig

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  26. Too long abeg. Thanks Stella for surmarising . Your husband will eventually want to enter your sister . If you want marry him . Don't come n write another chronicle here after ward . Am v angry at the fact that NIS recruitment portal made no provision for Nigerian that study in diaspora.

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  27. You say you aren't desperate but you are. You just don't know it including your mum. Don't you have shame? A man who once showed interest in your younger sister not even a friend. What if tomorrow you marry him and he later have an opportunity to sleep with ur sister? Would you be able to cry out loud? Use ur sense. I can't even date or marry a man that once showed interest in my friend not to talk of sister. Blood is thicker than water. Leave that man alone, he is a bad man and just want to cause problem in your family. Your mother self is not trying. In this time and age she likes arrangee marriage and she doesn't see anything wrong with what you are doing? My mum will use broom to chase such a man away. Jumping from one sister to another just to cause generational enemity. Do you think you know that man enough when you both haven't stayed close together? You calm you have other suitors. Lol you don't my dear. If not you won't be this desperate to even want to date a man who once showed interest in your sister. At the end your sister will start disrespecting you. This relationship is faulty from the foundation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GBAM! GBAM! GBAM!!!!

      THIS MAN HAS ZERO SELF RESPECT.

      NEITHER DO YOU.

      TOASTING UPANDAN WITHIN A FAMILY. WHICH KING TRY YA LUCK BE THAT? NA LOTTO.

      AND YOU SEF YOU AGREED? SHAAAAAAAAME

      Delete
    2. Anon it might happen when her comes for omugwo sef!ifenine wil just meh.

      Delete
  28. Poster, has it occurred to you that it will be difficult for you to be comfortable each time your sister visit's? That is if u marry this guy,u can't even leave them alone together..something in you will always remind you that your sister was your husband's first choice. Please let him gooooooo

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  29. My opinion- Sometimes we just have to walk away from some people we love yes walk away. Else is gonna be from one drama to another. Trust me you will meet someone else who will sweep you off your feet. But if you can handle excess baggage goodluck to you.

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  30. Will have to go with stella .

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  31. DON'T DO IT! There's a like chance he will do something with your sister in the near future. There's something about men and "the one who got away". Unless you are ready to be co wives with your younger sister sha.

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  32. Dear sister, this issue is serious but d solution lies in d hands of God. Have u poured out to your heart to God in prayer? Pls do, and after that speak with u your sister,try to find out if she is in love with the man,or just annoyed with d way he shifted his attention.Don't let anything come between u and ur sisters. It may seem like d biggest battle of ur life now but remember that this too will pass. Peace.

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  33. I was in this situation where by when suitors come looking for my junior sister when they see me they always change their mind.And this affected the relationship between my sister and I even till today She does not introduce her male friend to me again. so poster back off... And start afresh

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  34. Biko move on jor, Try to love other men. It's like u like hide and seek games hisssss ..... This one u claiming not to love other men, what if this guy gbensh u and dump u tomorrow won't u move on to another guy? Biko swerve. ...

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  35. Respect yourself as the elder sister ok. Love ko Marry ni. Choose another man. This one is off limits. A word is enough..

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  36. Um a bit confused, what happened to MALAYSIA, and which one is SHORT?...where did this AUSTRALIA ABI CANADA POP OUT FROM? Abeg abeg shift coz u dey gv me headache

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  37. Abroad husband with oyibo wife ...... u think u love him right? And I put it to u that this ain't love! U were just lonely at the time he started talking tou that's y ur heart accepted him so easily.

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  38. Its a no no for me but I know someone that it happened to and they are ok.Your sister has already expressed her displeasure so do you want to lose her over a suitor?

    If she is the insultive type and you call her bluff and marry this guy, how will you take her reminding you at every little misunderstanding that she "remained food for you".

    On the other hand what if you guys are meant to be? Seems to me that the guy is determined to marry from your family cos I don't see why he couldn't move on when it didn't work out with your sis.

    For peace sake make a conscious effort to end the relationship.Though she is your younger sister you still need her blessings.

    Should you decide to damn all the consequences and marry him, I pray it works out and everyone is happy at the long run.

    Finally, If he met you first and somehow changed his mind to go for your younger sis, how would you have felt? Answer truthfully and do what your mind tells you.

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  39. I dont like the sound of your story at all...
    To me dont get married to that guy...
    He sounds unstable...besides you were his second choice....so NO

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  40. I agree with Stella. I have nothing more to add.
    Poster, don't rush into this marriage regardless of how much you feel for him. Your family is your only support system in the world of today. No man is worth your relationship with your siblings (and parents).
    Try and settle things with them first. Listen, discuss with them, give them reasons, if they still refuse, please leave this guy. It will be hard, but pls...
    All the best.

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  41. The issue is what exactly happened between him a d your sister that made them break up. Also, husband is a life time thing if he hasnt slept with her and if the misunderstanding that broke them up isnt all that then move on with him but be very sure and dont take harsh decisions what if he his your husband and God prepared him for you but you were unavailable at that moment. Also, if you were the one in your sister's shoes would you like it? My dear you are a good woman and not desperate i can feel that please go on your kneels again amd ask God to grant you inner peace on ghis issue and help settle your sisters and family if he is the right man from you ordained from above. Go on your kneels once again. Do not miss your husband based on what people will say . Yes family comes 1st but your future matters too and you need to start your own family soon. God help you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She carefully did not tell us the ish with her sister and the guy.

      Delete
    2. Or the fact that she always had eyes for her sister's suitor. If you are going to write a chronicle, be honest. It alot of effort to maintain a long distance 'friendship' with your sister's ex-suitor that eventually blossoms into love.

      Delete
    3. Are you for real Right husband in this case?Nmba soor.

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  42. Did you ask your sister if she liked him or maybe want him when she is no longer "a teenager".
    What if she truly liked him?...she won't forgive you if you and up marrying him.
    It's still very possible you're both meant for each other. Even if,I would advice you sort things out with your family.
    Remember,nobody takes care of family like family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Meant ke!poster no try am oo.na u sabi sef.

      Delete
  43. My dear, a 20 year war is raging in my family.My cousin got married to my elder sister's boyfriend. My elder siser in question never said anything but an older sister took matter on her head and we hv been trying to settle this issue but the enmity keep growing. Leave dt guy alone, dont start what you cant finish if you do not hv your family's consent.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Plz ring the bell again in posters ear!

      Delete
  44. The relationship will eventually crash... Take or leave it.. I have been there before.

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  45. You are not a second fiddle?? Stop thinking about yourself as one..He doesnt know what he wants and he is a perfect pretender..He came to cause enemity amongst you and your siblings, and dont fall for that..Forget about him. Your family first before any one or Nigga..

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  46. Poster, there are some situations that we should run from, this is one of them. Please, don't complicate your life. Let him go.....you will meet someone that won't come with all this chaos.....my 2 cents

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  47. Poster, sit ur younger sister down and discuss with her heart to heart. Let her tell u her true position in this ish. Make sure ur family are in agreement before u take any decision.

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  48. My dear leave d guy, family is everything.

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  49. Poster I've been in your shoes before but mine was with my gf. I got to know they once dated after like 1yr with me and i was in love with him, has no choice but to go ahead. Hubby and i will be celebrating our 10yrs anniversary this year but i always feel bad when we run into my girlfriend. Babe follow your heart and if you really love than marry him.

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    Replies
    1. Follow which heart?Chi you want her to feel bad as you abi!poster na beg I dey beg you oo.dont start 3rd world war in your family.Stop eating your sisters yam!SIMPLE

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  50. Dear poster to give respect to your self forget about him remember he said that he can wait for your sister till she grow you said your sister is beautiful it may happen when you get married to him he may one day confirm your sister that she was the one that he came for just to sleep with her, or your sister may one day say you took my suitor a way from me so be careful stop every communication with him for now pray for your own husband and also sow a seed of faith meditate on God word he knows the best don't make a mistake for the last time be careful I wish I can speak to you one and one

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  51. I ll b different and say talk to your sister and let peace reign. If your sister feels bad then that's a sign.

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  52. Had to drop this comment.
    Hope you read it.
    I totally understand the way suitors swamp homes of parents they admire just to marry their daughter.
    Sometimes they just like the physical attributes of the Girl and have not totally fallen in love yet, this is why they move on immediately they realise it won't work.

    I really don't think you should have been entangled in this situation in the first place.
    From your story,you had to caution him before he stopped reaching out to your Sis too much right? How long will you do this?
    You already sound like you are insecure and this will bring a deep sense of distrust in your home.
    You will forever wonder if he had feelings for your Sister,or If he prefers her.
    If your Sisters disapprove,I think you should have a second thought.
    Like your friend said,when you find the one... You will experience the most beautiful peace ever.
    Even when the whole world is against you,Undeniable peace will envelope you.
    Goodluck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He has feelings for the sister obviously, that's y he wants to shamelessly buy gift for her, u poster isn't a good sister

      Delete
  53. I think you should marry him. Explain bto your sister that you didn't mean to fall in love with him.but you have. I wonder if your mom was keeping him for you on purpose. But what's done is done

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  54. My goodness!!! How did you even continue talking to someone that openly came for your sisters hand I marriage? Older or younger it is wrong mehn.. ur mom tho, is it money or what? Do you know what things like this have caused in families? The guy is hella disrespectful to your family and got no damn regard wtf. Does he even have a family? Cos I don't know wtf kind of family that would allow that. I don't mean to be mean but you're not a good elder sister. You're not supposed to get too cozy with ur sisters toaster/boyfriend/fiancé/baby daddy/whatever. U broke the sister code 4 real. He is shameless too. Damn!!! He's asking y'all to buy a joint birthday gift n you're mad, u haven't seen nothing boo. U better leave that fuck boy alone. Don't be surprised if he goes for ur second sister too. Smh 🤦‍♂️

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  55. Also I went to elementary school with 2girls in my class that were step sisters. They have the same last name and seperate mommies. Something was awkward about them tho, didn't know their inside story and never bothered until I overheard my mom and her friend talking about their weird ass story. So technically they were step sisters and cousins at the same damn time. Their moms was blood sisters. Their dad was in a relationship with the younger sister and wanted to marry her but their parents said he is not rich and rejected his offer. Some how the elder sister that used to deliver letters between the guy and the younger sister started seeing the guy secretly and even got pregnant. The guy didn't marry her tho, but later married the younger one like the next year or so and they still married till date with kids and all. So think very well o. Just imagine how those kids will introduce their selves to people abeg.

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  56. Since ur sister said she don't want & she is still in school, if you love him and you are sure he do love you too, he has not gbensh ur younger sister, my der marry him without blinking eye, A man that will cheat will cheat, I know a man that fucks his wife's siblings even the mother inlaw cos he is very rich yet na his wife make him knw the family but he fucks everything fuckable, the man just love to marry from your family if ur sister is not available & you are available marry him nah.

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  57. So if person wan use Atm withdrawal for Gtb and e no dispense,mke person no try another bank abi,all of una dey blame d guy,Dear poster follow ur mind abeg

    ReplyDelete

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