Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Tuesday, 4 July 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

This is just too much oh....



STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
A CHRONICLE THAT WILL LEAVE YOUR MOUTH HANGING

Madam Korkus. I am tired. I want to rant. My husband doesn't beat me but emotionally he does. I got married because I wanted a companion. A friend. 


I got married a virgin. I didn't get married for sex though I don't hate it bit it wasn't my priority. I wanted friendship., Love, I wanted to belong to someone. I wanted something binding another person to me. I didn't want to be alone again. I didn't want to be depressed again.


But we have problems now. We are not full and we are not begging. We can afford to feed 3 times daily. We have a roof over our head courtesy of his mum. She doesn't stay with us but close enough. My parents are also in the neighbourhood. We have a child. He provides everything. 

Mother in law is best friend with our pastor wife. We attend the same church. So I can't talk to pastor, My mum is a No. We don't get along. (She is the main cause of my low self esteem. She didn't bring me up. Out of 6 kids, only I was put away with a relative. And when I come on holiday. She has made me realise that am the ugliest of the family.)

My life is a big chronicle.

 I can't talk to my neighbours or people around. Words get around you know.


I have dipped my hand into diff biz all with my money.yet no breakthrough. jewelry, soap, disinfectant, air freshener's making. The most recent one is the one posted on IHN. 


No I am not lazy but I am not being patronised. I was able to sell one wig for 10k during the weekend. Cost of production is 4k. I diverted 3k to make cookies so I can sell. Cookies was a big waste. Cane out very bad. I has to pour the dough away. I learnt both online and from a friend. Hubby came back from work and said a lot of stuffs. 

And I agree an a very very bad person. He said the only thing good about me is that I can cook and take care if the house and our child. But in bed I score very low. Yes I agreed. But its not My fault. I feel horny and I even initiate sex but when it starts I will Go dry because my mind keeps wandering. 


Hubby wants beejay but I can't give him. His personal hygiene is poor. I didn't know until after marriage. We never even slept a night together. When he poos he stands and clean on himself with water. I can't stand it. And yes I have complained but he says he can't change cos Hus hand will not get to his bum while sitting on the WC.


But its not my fault am messed up in my head. I have shadows from the past. Mind you I have never hurt anyone at least bit deliberately. But yes I am blunt and have sharp tongue.


I am a graduate, no job. I even got a job interview through your blog when my baby was 3 months.I went with her and a neighbour who carried her outside while I did the exam and interview. But guess what I failed it. Just a simple test o maybe I was distracted I don't even know. Cos I have knowledge of the job.I freelanced for a long time.


I think I am bad luck. I can't stand any more disappointment. Hubby has started cheating on me. He says it's MY fault. What have I done wrong. Can all this end please. 

or Is it that I have not identified Gods purpose for my life?,I have prayed,fasted(white and dry) no miracle. Every door just keeps closing.



*Madam i think you need help,your self esteem is so low,gosh!


92 comments:

Miss Ess said...

It is well with you. Please stop the negativity. It is going to be just fine.

esohjay said...

Jesus biko fix this

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Poster,firstly,
Go for a deliverance!!...
You didn't settle your spiritual husband that is why everything you lay your hand on is not moving!!..
Don't live in ignorance my sister!...
This life is very deep!!...

LOLO IDEATO said...

Go and see a psychologist! Your mind is messed up

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

Madam you keep letting people define you. What does God says about you? You have not allowed God to enter into you well.

Look at the mirror and tell yourself, you are a Royal Princess made by God and only God. First and foremost, change the church you are going to if you are not comfortable with your mother inlaw friendship with your pastor because I know your pastor go talk.

Dont let your past define you because you have already agreed to that. You are not what people think you are. Work on your self esteem. You can hola me, at least i can be calling you now and then to tell you that you are God's work in progress not regress.

Laeffizy said...

Madam you need to see a psychologist real fast. You need to talk about, and let go of your past. You need to build back your esteem and believe in yourself. I won't blame your husband cos I Dont know if he tried to help, but got frustrated. He is a human being too. Please seek help, so you won't lose does who care about you. BTW getting married doesn't guarantee your complete happiness, cos no human can guarantee your happiness in totality. You have to find yourself. Your journey to self discovery begins now. Please don't see a pastor, he will ask you to pray and prolly judge you.
If you are in Lagos go to the psychiatric hospital (Yaba left), you need to talk to someone. Please it doesn't mean you are mad o. That's the misconception a lot of people have. May God help you.

Anonymous said...

The poster sounds mentally unstable, I wish mental health issues were taken seriously in Nigeria. Hope someone is looking out for her child.

AppleofGodseyeoriginal said...

Take a deep breath dear,look at yourself in the mirror who do you see?a failure or a success? If its the later ,then you are the architect of your problem cos people will only call you what you call and present yourself to be!your Hubby's hygiene will change when you give him a run for his money,you need to first of all work on yourself,build your self esteem, stop waiting for people to validate your existence and stop believing that you or whatever you lay your hand on will fail.let's start from that place before we move unto your hubby. You'd be fine I know.

Mrs Albert said...

Gosh and i was eating while reading this chronicle..

Na wa..U pple should take it easy with details at times

From this ur write up alone, u 've given up on ur self and life
Take it easy..

Stop saying u needed a friend that's y u married..U have to satisfy ur husband as well..So if u are wack in bed, better go learn how u will excel quickly at it..


Just calm down and work on ur self and ur marriage..what are u thinking about during sex..

First work on ur self and ego, then everything will begin to fall into place.

Both of u need to sort out ur marriage goals, and clearly ur hygiene issues as well..(rolls eyes)

THELMA'S CAKE WORLD said...

Lemme read comments from the wise ones...

esohjay said...

Work on yourself, poster, especially the way you think bcos thoughts usually manifest

Baddest Puta! said...

Bad bitches like me end up with the best men while cool women like this poster just... ugh! Madam abeg take time out and look after yourself by yourself, make fine hair, buy the latest make-up and wear fine cloths take a stroll in the evenings to get "fresh air" maybe you'd run
Into a very rich sugar daddy like mine who'd take better care of you. You only have one child nitori olorun and your chronicle is sounding like that of a grandma, and your husband's hygiene *vomits* his side chic would be giving him head not knowing she's licking poo! You sef why did you get married as a virgin? Nigerian men deserve women with countless body counts and wide punani.

Anonymous said...

Madam, u need re-orientation.
U have nagged d poor guy out.
He uses water to wash n u hate it n nag about it.
Mbok, dude needs peace of mind outside.
Thank you for being honest with ur chronicle.
Work on being a nice person..
You have what I call a 'bad mind'.

IBUKUNOLUWA said...

I was the only girl yet the only child who lived apart from her immediate family for almost six years and I was molested right in that house but I never let that affect me. I have never happened my mouth to tell my parents cos I fear my mom will die of guilt.

My sister you have to be really strong to conquer your problems,your fears must not be greater than your courage or determination.

I'm sure you're not alone,childhood messes people up a lot that's why you've grown ,you are an adult now,don't let your childhood mess mess up your life.

We've all been through shit trust me,not everyone had it good but your attitude towards your fears determines your strength.

Nothing is wring with you spiritually but psychologically.

You need help,you need to change your mindset,learn to love yourself more,appreciate yourself everyday ,tell yourself that you're beautiful,work on your self esteem,stay away from people that make u feel less of yourself, be proud of yourself, be happy,take yourself out and feel good.

If not for anything but for your little angel,she deserves for you to be a great mom,a better mom than your mom.
I'm sure you don't want her going through what you did cos very soon you will start getting pissed at everyone and everything, do you want your baby to see you that way?

Do this for yourself, your pride as a woman,ur joy as a mother,your sanity as a citizen and for us as Bvs.


I love you and see some things in you that's why I wrote this epistle.

Be well

Doppelgänger said...

I got a bit confused reading your chronicle, write up is quite disjointed and I understand because it's coming from someone confused.
I'd ask you one question, do you need help for yourself or your husband, to make your marriage work? Reason I ask is because if you don't renew your mind by believing in yourself more and ignoring utterances from people, you will not only be useless to yourself but also to everyone else around you including your kids.
Verbal abuse is abuse, your husband has no right to throw words at you but talking back won't solve anything because two wrongs can't make a right. You both need to communicate in low tones, in agreement not screaming at each other.
Also, you also need to let go of past hurts, your mother needs to also explain why she treated you the way she did. What about your father? Your siblings? You are an adult and need to start taking control of your life. Don't wait on or for people to do right by you because to be honest, people will walk all over and through you if you let them.
Take your life back, you are failing not because your husband thinks you are failure or because you are dumb but because you already set your mind to it. Believe in yourself and God, you'd see how things will turn around. Start doing things that would make you happy, forget the hurtful words hurled at you. You're a grown woman, forget virginity talk it is not a measure of anything. If your husband can be that bold to blame you for his cheating ways then close shop for now till he eats back his words.
Dress well, smell nice, serve his food like you always do, go about doing something for You. Ignore him. You want to enjoy sex and you should. Read books online and you can also watch videos to learn a thing or too since your man is too lazy to teach you. Sex is to be enjoyed, you deserve it.

RiRi said...

It's well.. God please Intervene!

Madam Small Chops said...

"Don't let your background be the reason your back is on the ground".

Many have gone through worse and still standing tall.If some people let you in on their issues you will know you got no issues.

Take it easy on yourself..If you don't change your attitude nothing will work in your hands( this is not a curse but fact) because "our attitude determines our altitude".

I may not give you all the solutions but I hope this helps

1) "you are a bore in bed"---> Learn, your hubby should teach you and be open minded while at it.

2) "your hubby is dirty " ----> Politely teach him.Tell him you can't give him BJ if he doesn't clean up well.

3) "you don't get along with your mum"----> cherish her now that she is still alive,put the past behind you and enjoy her.Try to mend fences,it won't be easy but try .

4) Invite the author of Peace (Jesus) into your life and home..cast all your burdens upon him for he cares for you.

5) Love yourself..

Anonymous said...

The problem you have is with you ma. You need to first of all understand that everyone and everything created by God is important and has a very meaningful and special purpose including you. You also need to speak to a specialist, your self esteem is damaged. Kindly change your mindset, it all starts from the mind. I pray God shows you the way. Please speak to someone and fast because sooner than later you might consider committing suicide and your child/ren need you. I love you, most importantly, God loves you more and thats the only reason you are alive. Have a beautiful day.

SWEETIE said...

Madam pls garnished ur sex life,watch more of porn to give you an expose on how to be enticing oga so he can come running back to you. You caused it all.

Iya Oshoronga of Blogosphere said...

I am really tempted to send my story to stella just to encourage people that there are Good marraiges. Which one is pooing and standing to wash yourself. Iru ki ni gbogbo eleyi ntori oloun.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry things will get better soon ok .Try and have confidence in yourself and don't stop praying.it's well with you

Anonymous said...

Awww you poor thing . Come to take a very big hug from momma . You are not a failure love it will end in praise dear. Awwww. Feel like crying. Make peace with your mum and watch ur life turnaround for good.

Anonymous said...

Am sorry your husband is right, your need help fast, but first we need to teach him basic hygiene. Can you drag his balls here?
The reason why you cant give him a blow job is coz he is a dirty pig.
Drag him to this blog and watch us do our magic.

I will personally make sure he bcoms clean.

Gosh i hate dirty guys. How can you date someone without knowing he is dirty?

Kay Bee said...

Poster. All I will say to you is Love yourself!. You seem so far away from yourself and you are angry😠. Let go and find happiness from within cos no one will love you more than you love yourself👌. It's well with ur soul sister.

Anonymous said...

Na wah how did it get to this madam
Why are you taking all the blame
Please no excuses, get up and pick up your mess and sort yourself out
You need to work on yourself, if you don't do blowjob does not mean sex can't be enjoy

Tiwa

Bold Marehi said...

When you think you are going through a lot , you will find out that people are going through worse scenario. Madam don't give up remain steadfast in the things of God, delay is not denial, God will make a way for you and perfect that which concerns you and your family. You need to build your self-esteem, it is well with you.

Stella Igbokei said...

Omg this is too much for one person to endure

Anonymous said...

See a clinical psychologist. I would have seen you for free but I don't know your location. You need to see a professional who will work with you, step by step

becky naka said...

Hang on, don't give up. Say positive to your self, you are no bad luck.

Monkeynofine said...

This is so sad! Madam work on yourself!

covfefe said...

Wat a wawu

Favourlistic said...

Madam pls work on yourself before another woman will take over your husband

MamaZ O said...

And Stella you just made it worse with that comment in red.

Madam! First confront your mother in a civil way and let her know how badly her attitude towards you messed you up. Forgive her and learn to see the good in you. In your write up you did not say anything good about yourself. All negatives.

You are trying to hard to make money by trying all manners of business. While not focus on one and grow it. No business booms overnight. It takes patience and constant effort to make it grow. Why not take time to know yourself and invest in ONLY one thing you love to do. From that you can find your purpose. If i am to judge by this write up you can cook while not start catering as a business. Yes. You learnt something online and you tried it you have alot to offer that you need to explore. Start small and grow your business and don't abandon it half way. In Aliyahs voice "try again if you don't succeed".

As for your husband we all have different forms of upbringing. If his dirty and you have told him and his not changing relate with a movie ,book or search for links on internet that he can relate with. Your husband is cheating on you cause you are not available you think ? My dear even if you are sexually available a man that will cheat will cheat. His simply not one of his principles to keep. If he values your marriage he will help you to overcome your issues by helping you the best way possible.
The only situation here is YOU. Work on your self esteem first and focus on your kid. Your husband will come around when he realises his mistakes. That should not even be your problem now.

Anonymous said...

Hey I think you have already killed yourself with yourself by yourself.,life and death is in the tongue,you have spoken and God has heard you that you are a failure.what!!!sometimes what we think and speak about ourselves is what we see. Be positive and speak good words to yourself. You are more than a conqueror, and peculiar person. You are not cursed,God loves you.until you change your mindset about yourself and always speak good in everything, till then you will still be in bondage aunty. Brace up and be positive minded. #Selah#

IBUKUNOLUWA said...

Lmao
Your Yoruba is the real deal😂

Daenerys_targaryen(For your organic soap and cream���� what's app 08112237061) said...

I swear I wanted to choke on my buttermint😩women are trying abeg!

Assertive Lady said...

Poster you need to get a grip on yourself. The first thing you need to work on is your self esteem.Your perception of yourself is too low and that's what is affecting you.Read on how to improve your self esteem. Love yourself. Wake up each day telling yourself I love you.Filter out negative thoughts from your head. You practically didn't have a life before you got married and thought getting married will give you a life.Sadly It doesn't work that way. Marriage should be a union of two people who feel complete independently and then come together as partners each able to conveniently survive without the other but then choosing to work as partners. Work on yourself my dear. You have a child who needs to see a confident, assertive, self fulfilled and happy mum. Don't allow what seems to be failures deter you. Shove your failures asides and keep pushing forward. Stop seeking for validation from others. First get that validation from you.

SIt down and write out things you don't like about yourself. Write out the things you like yourself. In the lists of things you don't like about yourself mark out things that you can change. Accept the things you can't change about yourself and love them. Consciously fight all negative thoughts that cross your mind. Quickly replace them with positive thoughts. If your husband tries to put you down by saying harsh or demeaning things calmly tell him you love yourself like that. Don't give room for him to be putting you down. Calmly refute all negatives things he says about you. Let everyone around you feel and know how much you love yourself. Learn to accept your failures and move on.

AGELESS T said...

I'm hugging you so tightly right now sweetheart.

You need to take things easy please. See the positive side of life. Make yourself happy. If you don't correct this on time, it will gradually rub on your child. And you will end up feeling worse.

Firstly, get closer to God and love him more. Pray, sing praises, cry if you need to but don't overdo it. You may download songs on your phone an listen even while doing chores, dance and feel the song

Secondly, love yourself. Look into the mirror and see beauty. Pick up yourself where life dumped you, cos nobody will.

Empower your self. Don't stop trying. You can learn tailoring or something tangible overtime.

As for your hubby. He won't love you if you don't love yourself. Happiness radiates from within. Do you share toilet with people? Why won't he use the toilet properly?(I pity his slay Queen girlfriends though, her karma will probably be throat cancer, those dating married men una weldone o, just continue).

But you can still have good sex without BJ. You may use your hand. If there's a way you want it to make you wet, tell him. Not loving yourself enough affected your mindset too.

And if you nag, pls stop.

Enough said.

ukwu dimond said...

You need to change your mentality about what your mum, husband and people around you think of you, you need to start loving yourself, take good care of yourself, try and see the best way you can make your husband to be neater than he is so that you can give him Bj. If you don't give him Bj other girls out there will give him, am sure they are even giving him with his dirtyness. Talk to your mil, talk to your pastor's wife, if you keep quiet you will die soon in silent, have heart to heart talk with your husband, you both need to negotiate,find out the best alternative to resolve on both side, let everyone be happy at the end of negotiation. Above all Jesus is the only one that can perfect your marriage. Goodluck

Miss Juliet said...

YOU NEED JESUS!!!!

La' Sunshine said...

Mtcheww is not by being virgin o

Anonymous said...

I am not poster but I made need to see one, is there anyway I can get your contact?

Mrs Albert said...

As in..so much detail

Sweet Child said...

Business is not for everyone, madma go and look for teaching job, teaching is one of the jobs that boosts confidence

Laeffizy said...

Wow, Ibk....
You are a strong lady...

Anonymous said...

Poster you are not alone just that mine wears the same boxer for several days and expect me to give him Bj. I have talk to him to change if he wants that but he has refused, me too locked up, I can't kill myself over husband or marriage matter, marriage takes two to work but I don't know why men feels is only the woman that should make it work. I know he is cheating but I know he will get tired someday and return to ask for forgiveness. If any lady want to have him let them do so, I have got all it takes to be happy, managing him with his small prick and yet he is never faithful and greatful, love yourself, make money, be happy, take care of yourself, marriage is not in heaven, don't Jill yourself over a man, allow him to keep on following girls, if you give him Bj he will still cheat if cheating is on his blood, take it easy and always do what makes you happy.

Princess Charming... The no1 Princess on SDK blog. said...

Poster, you need my candid advice?

First:
Work on your self esteem.
You don't allow people born of any mother to talk down on you. You don't.
Look at yourself in the mirror, ignore the pimples and stretched marks, tell yourself how beautiful you are, how intelligent you are, admire yourself. Learn to carry yourself with pride, even if you be nothing.

2. Have a positive attitude towards life and yourself. Read motivational books, change your friends if that dragging you backward to their own level. Surround yourself with people who are far above you, people you can look up to, pple you aspire to be like them, not friends of your same standard.

Thirdly,
Change your CHURCH!
You can't tell me you're a Christian and you talk like this?

Jeeeeeeeeeez!!

If a church cannot be beneficial to you,mentally,emotionally,morally, financially,intellectually,then, it is as good as going to the world Godforbid.

Don't they organise mental intelligence class in your Church? No skills acquisition? You don't belong to women group? In your church and beyond?
You just go on Sunday Sunday, clap hand, dance pay offering and go home to wallow in your low self mentality that's all?

1. You need a change of church.

2. You need to have new friends.
Married, matured singles for current updates.

Over the weekend, single & mingles were organised, (this thing isn't meant for singles alone)I believe you didn't mingle as a married woman. I saw few lines of married women who came out of their shell seeking for married women as friends. I guess you were one of those behind your gadget laughing out ladies who participated.

You see your life for outside?

3. Spend time to read motivational and prayer books like "Our Daily Manna".
This will boost your self esteem. If it was zero before, (which ofcourse it is), )it will climate to 90%.

Lastly,
I don't think you need to improve on your prayer life.
I just see you having a very poor, depressed low self esteem, which you really need to work on urgently.

I want to believe you take corrections, you're not the prode type.
If you adhere to simple advice, whatever anybody tells you won't get to you rather,you smile, dust your shoulder pick the pieces and move on majestically to what's important in life.


It is well...
The Lord is your strength.




Ignore my little errors.

Anonymous said...

For d very first time, yori yori u making sense! Alleluya! Madam wat yori yori is saying is very on point! U must learn to appreciate urself! Don't let people opinion of u run u mentally down! U really a good work in progress!U d apple of God's Eye! He made u in his own image and likeness! U are blessed and highly favoured! If only u wld confess dis words with ur mouth everyday!u wld see how ur personal psychic wld improve! As far As God loves u, U shd nt be bothered about wat any oda person tinks about u! Pls work on ur self esteem!U are very beautiful In D eyes of God! And I must say u very talented too! Just Belive dis ok? As for ur husband, pls put him in serious prayers! Do some powerful midnite prayers and ask God To change him for U! And u wld See God Work Wonders! Madam God loves U and we in SDK blog love u too ok? Bye and pls be strong for ur little baby and pls tk gd cr of urself ok?

beeolah said...

Well sald

Monkeynofine said...

Gbam

beeolah said...

Stella I can comment now thank you

Anonymous said...

How about his dirty habit? Just like a woman makes herself enticing for a man, a man should also do same!

Adele love said...

Poster I believe by opening up you have taken aa step. Please don't wait for any man to make you happy or that fantasy of wanting to belong to a man, in marriage only you can make yourself happy. Why not continue the wig making?we can't all excel in everything. Stop trying to please man rather please yourself. The key to your happiness is in your hands, forget the past and forge on. Shalom!

Teemah said...

U have to work on Urself hun,no amount of prayers,fasting can sort u out yet.identify the problem within u,acknowledge that it's a factor,make up ur mind to do away or work on the it.Trust me it all starts with u and within u,And yes u can do it.

Anonymous said...

Holy Spirit fall on you

Anonymous said...

You need to renew your mentality.

Right believing is everything. If you had changed your mentality before marrying, you will know what to take and what not to take.

Confession is made unto salvation. Wake up in the morning, tell yourself...I am highly favoured, whatever I lay my hands on will prosper therefore as I step out today, I will sell my wares like never before. Speak life into you. Speak life unto your marriage.

Read the Power of Right Believing by Pastor Joseph Prince.

KING XOXO MYSTERY

2muchjuice|2muchsauce said...

All I can say in Spanish is ''Ayayayayaay!! What..Baby girl u got to love yourself, no one else can love you like can do to yourself..Go see a shrink and you need to talk to your mummy cause that is the genesis of the whole hullabaloo!! And you thought marriage could right all the wrongs in your life, right?? how wrong you were...

Push up said...

God I thought I was a negative person but honey you are too negative, it's like you have given up on life, you don't believe anything would work and that's why they ain't working, it's your mindset, i have come to realise that a persons mindset can affect them, stop complaining just relax, take a deep breath and then thank God. Look around you, people do not have 3square meals, they don't have a good mother inlaw, they don't have children, they don't have a roof over their heads. I know it's good to aspire to be greater but also look at what you have gotten so far and just praise God. Thank Him like he has given you one billion then make your request. When I discovered the power in thanks giving I haven't stopped thanking God. In all this pray, then sit your hubby down, he is supposed to help you in getting your groove back, you guys should try new things. Since you made more from the wig, I think you should put all resources there and forget about the others, yours is quite cheap. In all don't forget God, stop blaming people and work on yourself

Rredalert said...

Awwwwwh, my darling, they have said it all. Good devices and good vibes. Just know this" after dark night comes morning" things will definitely get better for you. I don't see all bad in your situation
I see an intelligent lady who is a university graduate
I see a woman who is beautiful and a man believed in her and wife's her
I see a wonderful mother who nourished her baby in Her womb and gave birth to her life and healthy
I see an entrepreneur with business ideas whose success is on the way
You are wonderfully made and still alive when others have died
I see a woman loved by God that he gave her life and health and family
I see a woman who can call on God and be reassured .

Swtie. I see so many wonderful things in you...... Take a moment and ponder these things and be encouraged. You have many blessings too numerous to count. The darkness will soon pass and joy comes in the morning.
Nothing is wrong with you dear, just in your head.

Fierce of SDK blog said...

Na wa o. Madam,you're not alone in so many things,but you don't need to beat yourself up. I've been married for four years to a man I've known for eleven years and I still get surprises everyday. We've not had sex for about six months and it's not the first time such is happening, the routine is,I complain,he makes excuses,promises it will never happen again,and then he takes a break till I complain again. These days,I have taken my mind off sex o,ain't no time to be begging for sex of all things. My husband works for the federal government, but doesn't bring a dime of his pay home,I end up fending for myself,my two kids and even him from monies given to me by my parents cos I'm jobless. He was supposed to give me money for business, but na so I see am.
I only told u a tiny bit of my story to let you know you're not alone,I myself have battled depression especially after having my second child,it was like sealing the deal with suffering for me,cos with one child,getting out was easier. I'm over it now,I just love myself and I try to look good and get compliments from people on looking good and trim for a mum of two. Most of those compliments entail stuff like "your husband is really taking care of you o" and I just smile. Dude hasn't bought a pin for me in four years. I won't ask you to prey cause,stuff like these make you weak and you hardly can pray. Just love yourself, your kid,thank God he provides,look good and enjoy the compliments,it's good for your self esteem. Stop bringing yourself down,you're better than that. Self love is the ultimate.

Anonymous said...

You need to love yourself sweetie. We all go through stuff in marriage, don't let it weigh you down and don't let tour past define you. All will be well.
Please,join my Facebook group beautiful bountiful givers.

Anonymous said...

Baddest,love u babes

Anonymous said...

Wow,so u are a victim of rape

sholetoga said...

Poster.......I won't lie to you........you're really at your lowest point but do you know what that means; you're at a turning point in your life. Just hold on. Don't give up on yourself because God hasn't given up on you.
It can be frustrating when it feels like everything and everyone around you is working against you. Sister hold on, count all the other good things that you have in your life.
See they said you're ugly,but you have a hubby and even a baby. They said you're badluck but you're a graduate and even was able to learn some skills along the way.
Stop agonising about your hubby cheating and your past life experiences. start speaking positive into your life. When you're down please read your Psalms. You will be fine dear......

Anonymous said...

Had the same thought. Doesn't sound balanced at all. How some people see marriage as something that will make them perfectly happy is strange to me, work on yourself before you go into marriage.

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

Waoooh fierce of SDK blog it is well with you my sister. Keep yourself up.

Nonye baby said...

Stella, please can you share her contact, if she permitts. She needs help and i feel like reaching out to her. You were made perfect, and you are perfect, its your mind that needs a total rehabilitation. Ehuggs

La' Sunshine said...

Women if you are a virgin make sure you marry a man that is a virgin, most men are very selfish they want a virgin and a prostitute on bed, they will be looking for Virginia Upandan when they have finish fucking Felicia they expect to enjoy their sex life with a novice not that they would be kind or patient enough to teach their partner. madame please change your mindset the world is not against you, you are your own problem stop looking down on yourself or everyone will walk on you.

Anonymous said...

Alright, you can an email to psycheconsultancy@gmail.com

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' 😂😂😂 said...

Hmmmm.... I wish you were more careful when selecting a partner. The right spouse could have made you forget all you went through with your mum and immerse you in a pool of love. But what do I know? Shebi I'm not yet married? lol. I think your getting married was all in the rush to leave home sha, then you entered another gbese. (Reminds me of one of Dr. Olukoya's message i listened to about singles) what a smelly man he must be for you to be dodging BJ like that.

That said, apart from a good husband money can also erase all unnecessary emotions. You need to make your own money girl! And jumping around different ideas is what Pastor Godman of Elevation church called #irrelevantspeed (who attended acceleration conference?? I did and it was WWWOOWW!!) So therefore, stop all businesses you are trying to do. You say you are a Christian right? Ask God to show you WHAT TO DO.
I came across this verse one sometime last year: Isa. 48: 17 Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit, Who leads you in the way you should go". Note the word: PROFIT. After I read that passage, I stopped some side business I was doing because they were stressing me and I really wanted to hear from my teacher. And every time I am thinking of financial upliftment, ideas and innovation, I pray that scripture. Because the worst thing for you to do is to put soo much energy into what you don't have grace or calling for. You will feel so drained. Baking, wig, bla bla... yet, your stress is not equivalent to your income. Madam, this is the time to stand still and see the salvation of your God. Go back to Him and seek His face and I promise you that you will get clear instructions on what to do with your life from this point. Go and read Ayodeji Megbope's story. How she started selling moi-moi till she reached the white house without a first degree not to talk of MBA like me. lol.

Frankly speaking, I really don't have much advice about your husband's attitude cos i cant relate. I just really think you need to get busy in the right thing and start making your own money. You will see how he would do a 360 at your beck and call - mark my words. Since he is cheating and you aint even enjoying the sex, kukuma lock up. And ignore his rants. When you start showing him results make i see where him wan keep mouth insult you. Yeye dey smell. P.S: can i guess the part of Nigeria you ae from? Lol

Anonymous said...

Seconded. After taking linda's advice.

Anonymous said...

My dear, you sabi cook and sell. You need something doing for sanity sake. Cook and sell food that's what you are good at, do it and thank me later

Anonymous said...

No one should go into marriage making their partner feel they are in need of something,especially womem.You guys won't understand what it means to deal with a dirty husband.Poster pele

jelly said...

👏👏👏

Amacastel said...

Queen have spoken

Anonymous said...

This woman's self esteem is in the gutter, my dear you are worth far more than you think give yourself credit biko.if you don't want to pass this cycle on to your child. I am someone who finds it hard to hype myself but I realiseif I don't tell the world who I am they would tell me who I am not. Look for positive confessions say it to yourself in the mirror . You won't be the first person to start and fail at a biz, so you made a batch of bad cookies so? You keep at it. He is messing with your head . You married a virgin where are you meant to get the skills to be a porn star in bed, he had the privilege to be your first Id he handled you nicely trust me you won't be wandering. He is responsible for his cheating it's all Him NOT YOU. Biko stand tall and refuse to lest anyone strip you of your self esteem . I wish you the best .

Irresistible dudu said...

Have you tried role playing in the bedroom? Sexting can help get you in the zone, lastly shower together. Put your hand there and wash it. My hubby was like that too, but I taught him with love. Tell him what you would like him to do to you in bed, ask him where he wants to be touched, be assertive. Your first batch of cookies were bad, so what? Keep trying till you perfect them or fry buns next time. Lastly, by speaking out, you are on your way to recovery. Tell your husband how his words make you numb sexually and watch him change. You are a great mom and housekeeper, it could be a career. Start a creche or cooking for parties, you will be fine.

Stella Igbokei said...

I was expecting this reply. Lolz

Anonymous said...

dear poster,
you need to work on yourself and your self esteem, whatever your mum or anyone says about you is not your business, God has the final say on your life. Focus on yourself and baby.Check out God's promises for women, your life etc online and that can change things, listen to lessons by jumoke adenowo (youtube/podcasts) i find it helpful. All this said, please you need to change your mindset, check out kornerstonecc.org they are helpful counsellors . all the best, Gods love loves you xx

Abiola Adedeji said...

Alot has been said above. If u can,listen to about 3 or 4 episodes of King women by Kemi Adetiba on YouTube. It will encourage and empower you psychologically. You are good just the way you are.

Jasmine said...

Your husband is not rich and he is already cheating? With which money? Hian

Jasmine said...

Gbam

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' 😂😂😂 said...

Wait. She should sext a broke, irresponsible, cheating, emotionally abusive man? Irrestible Dudu a wife must feel in love with her husband before an can sext. Abeg stop nau. This woman is living in hell.

sonia Walker said...

I know people will be complaining about their marriage, and their relationship, especially the women, they usually complain about their husband does not love them anymore, their husband is cheating on them and even their husband left them, but my case was similar to theirs, my name is Sonia , I am from Texas, USA, I had a very similar case with theirs, my husband, Walker left me with my two kids, for no reason, he said he does not love me anymore, he left for about 5 years, he never called me even my kids, I had a friend, Anita, she had a case similar to mine but her husband is now with her, I told her my problems I was facing, she told me about a great man that helped her to solve her problems, she introduced me to the great Baba ubeji, a man with great powers and kindness, he told me that my problems will be solved, so I believed, then after one week, it was unbelievable my husband came to me asking me for forgiveness, I accepted him, he has changed some much since when he came back, I just want to thank, the great Baba ubeji for his understanding and love, my friends if you are facing similar problems with me and even some other problem just email him at greatbabaubeji@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

But poster, you said, 'he provides everything '

#Miss Kay# said...

Molestation is not all about rape...but Anon 17:19, you are a GOAT for asking that question

Anonymous said...

Aswear you so right about what Naija guys deserve hehehehe

Sherry's Daughter

Anonymous said...

@Push up, very good advice. I second that.The part of the dirty husband though...ughh. 'Can't deal!

Anonymous said...

About ur husband's hygiene, put it in prayer. U will overcome one day.

Anonymous said...

Porn is not the answer. Couples are different. Ur husband shd really let u know what he wants. Other than that, there are instructive materials that can assist u in ur marital sex life without dragging u unto such morally reprehensible terrain for a Christian woman seeking God's assistance, who I assume u are.

Anonymous said...

Sweetie, I know what u'r going thru. Yes, there may be a time when all doors seem closed. I've been there. I got out of it with praise an thanksgiving to God. I simply refused to focus on or pray about the problems anymore. Gradually, the doors began to open. U seem to have a lot of good in u, dear. If the world can't see it, that's their problem. Focus on ur cooking skills and go into catering. U could also get serious with the wig making. So long as there's life, there's hope. Just keep going and keep trusting in God. It's well with u.

Anonymous said...

Sweetheart u need to learn to love urself before u can fix anything. U have low self esteem and that's the basis of all ur problems. Realize that u r the only one in control of ur life, learn to love urself and start living. Forget what has happened in the past. It's gone. Look to the future. U sound like u r suffering from depression. I can't be definitive except u come for a session but u sound it and u even sound kinda suicidal. Pls pls dear try to be strong. Don't do it for ur hubby but for urself. Good luck dear

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