Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Tuesday, 19 September 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Oh My Goodness!





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
EXTREME ANGER



Hi Stella, I am an ardent reader of your blog. Its is highly entertaining and informative. Please help post my chronicle as I really want to know if I am not going too extreme. Its is quite long, keep me anonymous please.


I am his only son with two siblings. We have never been close as he has been so harsh and abusive towards me growing up both physically and emotionally, I HATED HIM AND STILL DO. 


Shortly before my wedding, he tried to make amends for his misdeeds e.g calling me bastard anytime he is angry and how he had told me severally while in medical school to drop out and start hustling. I remember how he still tried to flog me after I graduated from medical school while at home waiting for house job just because I had earphones on and according to him, "he called me more than once and I didn't answer". 


I introduced my fiance to him on phone as I reside in another state 18 hours from where he stays. The day we were supposed to meet him at the church he pastors as no one knows where he lived (he sold our family house and absconded to an unknown place with a prophetess from his church), he gave excuses of how he was busy with church activities can't see us yet. I asked him to send his address severally but he refused to, stating that when he is ready to see us, he would. But he never did.



We tried to consult him to fix a date for the introduction but he asked us to liaise with mum and other members of his family and let him know the day we have chosen, which we did. He still cooked up several excuses to miss the introduction saying they are having crusades and all. After the introduction, I still gave him a call so I could take my wife to him but he said he was fully busy and fully booked till the next few months. We returned to our base and intimated him that the wedding preparation had kicked off, we also carried him along every step of the way.



Shortly before the wedding he called my fiance one day and threatened that she dare not marry me without him seeing her first, she asked him when he would be free so she could visit but he never sent address or gave a time. We are both medical doctors with very tight schedule but we were still willing to make out the time. He called again a few days to our wedding and told her that the wedding will not take place and has to be cancelled, that he wanted to teach me a lesson for treating him as if he is unimportant, the phone was on speakerphone and I heard everything, my lady was already getting apprehensive so I walked away with the phone and raked for him so stop the joke.



He later started calling everyone in his family that we invited and many of our family friends not to attend and even warned them that their children too must not attend or else they would pick up curses. They all absconded from my wedding, thank God for my Mum's family and wife's relatives, they filled up the entire space. The wedding took place and their absence was not felt. I made up my mind that I have had enough of his physical and emotional abuses and I completely cut him off.


The day my wife put to bed he called congratulating, I snatched the phone and warned him never to call my family again. I told him when he dies, I wont even attend his funeral. He reported me to his family elders, the ones that boycotted my wedding and they have been on my case since then telling me I have to come for a reconciliatory meeting bla bla... 



I received a call from him recently, he told me he had no regrets for not attending my wedding and that whether I like it or not, I would still come back on my knees begging for his forgiveness (I wonder what my sin is). My younger sister's wedding also took place recently and he didn't show up. He has gone to her house to apologise but he thinks I owe him an apology. He is now very sick, very broke, homeless and lonely and seeking for forgiveness especially from me. I have no pity for him. Mum has called me severally to mellow down and forgive him, BUT THAT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!

I have decided to deceive them and agree to the meeting and not show up on the day. I am relocating abroad in a few weeks with my wife and son and I guess I am excited that this would further create the much needed distance that I need from him and his useless family.

Some people may call me wicked but that's OK, and I wasn't joking, if truly he dies before me, my absence would be conspicuous at his funeral. Only then can we be even!

GO AHEAD AND JUDGE ME!


This is my personal story and not made up, kindly help me post.



*The reason you sent in this Chronicle is because something in you knows you need to reach out to your old man...

Please before you leave the Country,reach out to him and forgive him,you are now a father and in a few years you will make decisions that might not go down well with your children too.

Forgive your Father and move on............REMEMBER - DO NOT LET HIM DIE WITHOUT MAKING THIS HAPPEN.If YOU DO;YOU WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOURSELF.
God forbids that our Children make the same mistakes we did.


105 comments:

Miss Ess said...

Oh Lord! This got me teary. Please forgive and forget, I beg you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. If HE could die for our sins then we as humans can forgive anybody. May the Lord touch your heat and heal you of every pain you went through in your father's hands. Let love reign

Blackberry said...

Guy try n forgive,go n see him n reconcile with handshakes or hugs, but don't eat or drink, cos u don't know d heart of man

BIPOLAR ME said...

That's it Stella.

Your conscience is still alive, that is why you sent this in.

You don't need to start forming a relationship with him but you have to forgive him. Go for the meeting, sit quietly. DO NOT INSULT HIM.

If you are asked to apologise, please do, ask him to state clearly what he wants from you.Let the meeting end on a successful note, then you can go abroad.
If he reaches out then, reach out to him too and be polite.

Tilly said...

Very disappointing behaviour from your dad. I pray that God gives us the wisdom to make better decisions than our parents did.
Some parents like to hold their children hostage to always bend to their wants as if it is a battle for supremacy.
Poster try to find it in your heart to forgive him. You might not go out of your way to get close to him. Just see him before you go.

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

Poster God saw you through all these years your daddy was misbehaving.

If God can send His son Jesus Christ to die for our sins without him sinning and paid dearly for it and then told us all that He has forgiven us, then what are you to your father.

Go and forgive him and let your conscience be clear. Dont allow that to stand as judgement against you when the day of judgement comes.

forgive him and let peace reign in your soul and mind. For now you dont have peace and stop deceiving yourself. YOU DONT HAVE PEACE

STARRY LARRY said...

Stella, I think he only sent us this chronicle to know what's happening between him and his father. He has already concluded not to attend.

Poster, I know we have some wicked parents like that, but how I wish I can hear you father's side too, the way you painted him here is not forgivable but all the same, please forgive him, never tell him or his family about you relocating, God will help you to make a good decision




*Larry was here*

Lipstickalley said...

OP, do not show up @ the meeting.

On that fateful day, call the closest family member beside your Dad and and tell them to put the phone on speaker.

Tell him you have forgiven him and as you speak, you and the family have left the shores of the country.

A father that can be that wicked and mean to his kids isn't capable of repentance.

I am even afraid he might do something damaging the day you physically see him.

Try and avoid any physical contact with him. Just forgive him so you can at least have a free conscience, but do this over the phone.

All the best

Kay Bee said...

Make peace with your father and then travel quietly. Poster you'll have peace of mind even if he dies afterwards that you let all the pain out. Reaching out doesn't mean you have to be in his life, no. You are only doing that so that nothing from the past will draw you back from the future. Go and unburden your heart to him, forgive him, smile and walk away pls!. Bye bye

CrazyHornyWife said...

Forgive him to have peace in your heart. You don't need to be close to him or carry his matter for head!!!
Some parents thoπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž

Chike TEFLON said...

Poster please forgive him...
Are you sure he is truly your father?
Sit your mother down and ask her.
But that your father is really a horrible father.

olaedo said...

When I got to where he called,warning people to boycott your wedding and where he said he has no regrets not attending your wedding, I was really angry at him.
On getting to the point you said he is homeless, broke and all that, I started feeling for the old man.
Please and please, Don't travel out without making peace with him.
Whether he has truly repented or not,go and reconcile with him so you don't end up regretting this decision of yours later in life.
Two wrongs don't make a right.

Anonymous said...

what is Stella saying?.. well, that is by the way... hey poster I have one useless father like yours too.. am waiting for the day I or my sister will get married and if he dare say anything, I go swear for his entire generation, beat him up if need be.. what nonsense, all this parent claiming right over their children.. are we slave?.. awon oloriburuku... see ehnnn, parent are the tools God use in bringing us to earth ooo, your real father is God.. so don't get it twisted.. leave Nigeria and let the man be.. who cares.. as for me ooo... my father is God.. forget the man... don't get close to him ooo... he might be a bad luck

**that barrack boy***

Thebosschick Boss said...

As painful and hurtful as it may, you have to forgive him for your own sake not him. You still have a long way to go so don't allow the aftermath of unforgiveness ravage you. My 2cents though.

Yvonne said...

Please make amends with your dad....DO NOT LET HIM DIE WITHOUT YOU MAKING AMMENDS PLEASE

Anonymous said...

Forget all your father has done and forgive him especially now that he is sick because you don't know when he'll be leaving the world. Make peace with him before you leave if not you'll regret it.
I had issues with my father before he died. Even though i felt i was right, I had no right to be disrespectful to him and that still haunts me till date. Though he told me he has forgiven me before he died I just can't seem to let go and it will be four years soon. Imagine four years filled with guilt at the thought of him.
I wish I had more time to make things right after the offence before he died. He died less than 3 months later and I live with that guilt.
Keep your distance but forgive him if not you'll ask yourself questions later. Keep your hurt and pride aside and do the needful. Don't make the same mistake I made.
I wish you well in whatever decision you take.

Cherry Topaz said...

Dude I'm not going to be religious here, I'll be practical. Forgive him so the burden you feel in your heart will be gone. Tell him you hold no grudge against him. Please attend the meeting with your mom and a few trusted relatives but don't, I repeat, don't eat anything or drink or allow unnecessary body contact. I have this sinking feeling that he's not truly repentant and may want to strike the final blow. Your father has an evil heart. For him to stall your wedding plans just because you did whatever he said you did and even boycotted your own wedding day says a lot. Don't mention your travel plans to anybody, if you have to tell your mom, implore her to keep it a secret abeg o. Forgive him, reconcile and go your way. It's a pity that most times our own blood are those that hurt us the most.

I am king EZE said...

Don't you think you are gradually turning into the same man you detest? The anger , the hate , brutality...... you have to prove to yourself and HIM that you are nothing like him and forgive.

Gistbabe said...

Dear poser,
Please make sure youDO NOT ATTEND the meeting.
The man does not have anything good in store for you and since you are about to make a life changing decision, make sure he does not know about it until you are safely out of the shores of this country. The man is evil and you will be surprised he wants to curse you before he dies.
I repeat do not attend. Travel abroad in peace before you experience strange bad luck.
Ask God to help you forgive him but please severe contact with him.
My 2 cents

Anonymous said...

Do we have the same father? Hmm, I made a comment about my dad sexually abusing my sisters and I and Stella made it a chronicle claiming that my family needed deliverance and my mother was party to it... My dear, in my case I got married without ever letting my parents know. I don't feel my father has anything to offer me in form of blessings.
Please with an emotionally and physically abusive father like yours, it's best to cut off. I support your decision to stay away o. Since you have nothing to apologize for, why reconcile? I took stella's advice and I've been praying for deliverance from all the curses my father placed on me for not giving into his sexual advances. Do serious prayers too.
God granted you wisdom, use it wisely.

Anonymous said...

My dear pls forgive your father from a distance. I don't trust that wicked man . If he wasn't dying and broke will he remember to change ? What a bitter man . All you men misbehaving and watnot towards your kids both young this fate awaits you .

SheriKoko said...

Poster pls forgive him for your own sake so u don't end up like him... grudges carried around deep down in our hearts has a way of growing deep roots and end up consuming the carrier. Pls call him that day and make peace. Even if u can't be physically available. Please. End this now so it doesnt affect ur relationship with your own son.

Slushious said...

You deserve all the kisses in the world.. God give you more wisdom.

Adadioramma said...

Poster remember 70*7. What you stated here is not upto 10 nah. I understand how you felt all this while but you have to forgive him. Unforgiveness is like a canker worm eating up one's peace. From your write up, I understand he had issues with your mum and was only doing transfer of aggression on you people. Please find a way to forgive him, for the sake of your new born baby. You are very lucky in life, some people suffers setback as a result of their parents curses and hatred. Try to forgive him before relocation.

Anonymous said...

I FEEL THE POSTER SHA. FORGIVE HIM IN YOUR HEART AND MOVE ON...I THINK. SOME PEOPLE ARE BEST KEPT AT AN ARM'S LENGTH. HE NEEDS YOU NOW FOR YOUR MONEY.
WHY IS HE CALLING YOU A BASTARD? DID YOUR MUM HAVE YOU FOR ANOTHER MAN?

Anonymous said...

Truth is the forgiveness is for you, not for him.

Anonymous said...

Romans 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Firstlady blessing said...

If u can't forgive, what makes u different from Him?

Mystique said...

"Honor you father and your mother, so that your days may be long."

Na so Bible talk oh!

Kudos cakes 08185151255 said...

You will be more at peace with yourself when you forgive and let go... All the best

Rappakatakata said...

Bros., just forgive the man and reconcile with him.

young FOREVER said...

Yes,you are indirectly and gradually turning into that man.and NO you r not wicked

You still have a conscience. Don't go there but put a call through and let him know you have forgiven him.if he is not picking your calls,write a letter prior to that date that your mum or one of the elders would read to him on the day of the meeting and also ask him to forgive whatever you might have done to him.but pls,do not be there in person. Give an excuse of an emergency surgery you need to attend to,some few minutes before the supposed meeting.that doesn't mean you were wrong. Just do it and you will see that your conscience is clear n free for the rest of your life

Lipstickalley said...

Thank you Slush, the matter tire me.

If all what this poster stated is true, i will stay as far away as i can from that man and his relatives.

Simple gold$ said...

Please poster do not travel without reconciling with your father. You will not forgive yourself by the time you heard on phone he is no more. Forgive him now and be free. I know he has hurt you so very much, but remember he is your father.

Unknown said...

Best comment ever!!!😘😘😘

jelly said...

Please forgive your father but don't attend the family meeting, you can call and let him know that you have forgiven him

Anonymous said...

You are wise dear!!!

DON™ said...

Your father is troubled all these while but you guys refused to see it. He's been homeless for a long time, Just covering up with church activities.
Reach out to your old man and make peace with him. You think he doesn't love you? He's your father until your mother tell you otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Forgive your father, pray to God to forgive him. Don't attend the meeting. Keep your traveling plan secret.

Anonymous said...

My mum told me that my father saw me for the first when I was over a year and I saw met him for the first time when i was over 24years. He promised to come for my wedding but sent in message two days to the wedding that he wont come again.

But I still do what I have strength/ability to do for him. whatever you can do for him, do your bit. My father did not owe me anything, but the little I have I did for him. He is late now.

Anonymous said...

Don't attend the meeting. Let them put you on phone and you tell them that you have forgiven him. Everyone deserves to reap what they have sown. If he has not been a good father to you, then let him live with the consequences of his actions. Where is his prophetess bae. She has run away after destroying his life abi.

Etsako Girl said...

Your presence doesn't matter. What matters is your heart towards your father. You can forgibe from afar doesn't mean you are a bad person or attend the meeting and still not forgive him. My opinion is forgive him but carry on with your life goodluck to you and your family

Anonymous said...

Mumu! Na u wicked pass abi? Cos Christ did not forgive you abi? Continue in anger let guilty conscience send you to an early grave! People that forgave their fathers for raping them nko? they have extra hearts? Abeg park well jor! You be painting yourself like a saint but you have a heart of stone!

charitybino said...

Poster, visit him and forgive him. This will help take off the burden of hate against your father. Forgive please.

Anonymous said...

Do not attend d meeting. Find it in your heart to forgive him but keep your life and family away from such a demonic man. Also, pls ask your Mum if really he is your biological father.

Anonymous said...

God bless you for this advice. Poster please don't go. He is an evil man.

Shirley said...

Mmmmm you are so hurt,you and the poster need to forgive and move on...just let go for your own good. In forgiveness destroys and hinders blessings. To it for you

Doris Chris said...

Dear poster, i really feel your pain and anger.. But in all honesty, u have to forgive him.. You are not doing that to please him, but for your own self.. U need to free your mind and the only way is to FORGIVE him.
Go to the meeting, don't waste your time there to listen to his long epistle... Don't even sit down, not to talk of shaking his hand or hugging him, you don't need all that. Get there, free yourself by telling him that you have forgiven him and incase you also did something wrong in the past, that you are also sorry... Shikena! Don't waste time listening to wicked evil uncles speech.. Walk out and don't give them your dime.And don't tell them about your plans, let them hear about it when you must have gotten to your destination... Then, you know you don't have anything against him incase he dies.
Please remember, don't you dare go there with your wife or child...

Shirley said...

Some parents hurt their kids and see as their right...pls forgive

My two kobo said...

Bros, I feel your pain honestly. Forgive him. Not for his sake, for yours and posterity! And when you go for the meeting, speak less, let him say all he wants to say. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you utterance. Do not, I repeat, do not hug or embrace him. I know what I'm saying o! Make the meeting as brief as possible.
You want to hurt him? Go for the meeting!

Anonymous said...

Dear poster, am also a medical doctor and I understd you completely..my father was also not supportive and caring. But now he keeps calling and trying to make amends..I just decided to forgive him and let go..There was a time robbers came to our house and broke our door down, one of them entered and asked for money and gold but there was nthin, we bearly ate dat day..he got angry and beckoned on my younger sista( it was just me and my kid sis, mum and dad home dat day, my elder siblings were still in school) to follow him..I push hr back to protect her and he took me.my dad neva begged or cried dat dey shuldnt take his child, instead he said 'go, oya go with dem'....dat was how he took me far from home, with bare foot, in the middle of the night, and raped me..I jus finished sec sch den and was stil a virgin...so u can imagine..I came back dat day and my mum and sis was crying..she quickly took me to d bathroom to bath me.my dad was shoutin at me dat were did I go??anytime I rememba dis I alway feel and get emotional, but poster, I had to forgive him..
One tin I will advive u to do is forgive him, but dnt go for any meeting..if na skype u wan skype, or call, do ur forgiveness like dat...bt dnt go...
Jus my story

Anonymous said...

For the first time in forever, I agree with Stella's advice 100%. Please find it in your heart to let go, u don't have to be best buddies but can be at least civil with each other.

Hot P!nk Lips said...

Mehn I feel so bad, almost close to tears but my Dear Please go to that meeting and forgive him..Forgiveness which most people dont understand is a selfish act that means you value yourself more than anyone..Please forgive him but dont rush it, it is a gradual process which you need to take all your sweet time..I even recommend you see a pyschiatirist to help purge out the years of bitterness, remember God does not like a bitter heart..I Remember one thing I learnt from my ex ''What we hate, we become but what we love or forgive, we overcome'' Dear Poster you need to overcome this, do it for your children that are coming and also BEG HIM TO BLESS YOUR UNION(go along with your wife, cause he is your father no matter what)..It is very important before you travel to the Abroad..My two cents

Esther Mgbolu said...

Don't attend the meeting,call your dad on the phone

Anonymous said...

Lmao... this sounds exactly like my story! Even down to crawling back to beg. What's that saying he who wears the shoes knows where it pinches. Talking from someone who is going through the same thing or has gone through... I will give you two advice based on having the same emotions as you!! So I totally understand. One good, the other not so good

1. FORGIVE- move on, find peace and let him be
2. YOU DONT OWE HIM ANYTHING- if part of your peace is not showing up to his funeral, cutting him off and not having anything to do with him, by all means go for it... Just make sure you are not bitter in your ways and it's not done to spite him but for you to find peace and healing. There are some events that bring back all the pain and anger I have experienced, if keeping a distance and keeping interactions to minimal helps me go away from that anger, then that's what I need. I need to make sure his actions doesn't affect my health, being a good parent, and a good person in general... Unfortunately you live in a culture that is so sentimental people forget the damage done to the other person. This is how I have been able to cope and continue in the path of forgiveness, peace and even summon the courage to have kind thoughts about my parents. (No. 2 may not be a good advice) just figured I will mention what is currently working for me since I have experienced almost the same situation

Anonymous said...

Lipstick,I fully agree with you oh.This man cannot be trusted oh. He should forgive him but stay far away from him. Talk to him over the phone and tell him you have forgiven but stay very very far from him. I have forgiven my father but can't seem bear to talk to him for all the emotional abuse he put us through all our lives. I indirectly still fend for him through our mum. But I just can't seem to have anything to say to him. I have made peace with him oh, face to face but that didn't erase all the hurt that span over the years.i don't feel guilty the way I do whenever I'm not in talking terms with anyone. I just feel this relieve that we are not enemies but we are not friends and will never be. He is just like a strange I know and had never had anything good or bad to do with.

Madame koinkoin a.k.a 'peace lover" said...

Poster pls forgive your dad and you' ll be happy about it, care for him ,just try it and you ll be okay in your heart and away from being bitter towards him.

Anonymous said...

Poster, if I were you I won't show up. Don't go anywhere as long as you know that you did nothing to warrant those ill treatment from him. Relocate to the abroad,call them on phone and offer your forgiveness and if you have money,send it down for him to use and take care of himself. Finish. Don't go anywhere. I don't trust that guy.

Anonymous said...

Oh boy. Don't show up. Let this man go. It is not worth it. Take it from someone that has been there before. Empty your heart, move your family out and ignore him. There is no blessing missing orattached to reconciling with him. He will always hurt you. He can't help himself. Being a father requires something special inside of you and if you don't have it, there is nothing that can make you a father. Your father is not a father. Let him reconcile with his maker.

Mimi Love said...

Poster,it may seem hard for you but Forgive and let go so you can find peace with yourself.Travelling abroad will not solve the issue.Talk to God in prayer and he will direct you.

Shennel Hyacinth said...

Yes , please don't tell him that you are relocating with your family, don't even give him any information about your life, work or family.

Miss Candy said...

Poster pls ask ur mum if dat man is really ur father cos I can't understand why a man wud hate his child in such a manner. Pls forgive him and let d burden of ur heart.. U can go for d meeting if u want to but don't eat or drink anything dere. Just go there an let him see dat u have forgiven him. Don't even bother to hug or let him touch u. Something tells me he's not yet repentant..

Mr A said...

sir you need to meet with your dad and talk man to man, there is no harm for you to apologize first, just apologize and have peace,just try and apologize even if you are not at fault.Have a safe trip

Stella maris Baby said...

@ poster make peace with him on the phone why at it make sure you have the elders around him and your mum around,put it on loudspeaker. Tell him you have forgiven him long before now.
Immediately you are done with the peace talk,you will feel inner peace in your mind.
Not an easy one but you have to do it before leaving the country.

May God give you more wisdom and strength
May God lead you.

It is well..

Unforgivness destroys many things in ones life.

Forgive him
Make Peace with him and move on.

Anonymous said...

Forgive him! You Will be the one to answer to this on the last day. He asked for forgiveness so you should. What does the Lord's Prayer say? Father forgive me my sins as I forgive others.

You honestly cannot block him from receiving peace of mind and think you'll also enjoy that same peace of mind. You are hurt, you have every reason too and that's fine, however you've got to forgive him before you travel and move on, so to be a guilt free conscience

Stella maris Baby said...

@ Anonymous 16:13,sorry dear
Felt bad reading your story.
It is well.
😘😘😘

Funch said...

Thumbs up! Poster please forgive him.

Stella maris Baby said...

πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ

Funch said...

This may be true. He may have been homeless all this time.

Anonymous said...

Please forgive him for the sake of God. It is painful but try to forgive him.

Sweet Mother said...

No one has the right to order you to forgive but trust me. If this man dies without the reconciliation you have missed out on a life time opportunity. And you'd live to carry the regrets to your grave. Think about it deeply and carefully. I pray the holy spirit directs you to make the best Decision. Be strong brother. It's not going to be easy.

Anonymous said...

Poster let me tell you the truth from my heart
1) your dad is not sorry, he's only coming because he's in need. If you think this is a lie then watch out for the future
2)never tell him or anyone close to him of your future plans

I always think it's funny when people want the child who has done no wrong to keep apologizing to the senior who keeps doing wrong and never gets cautioned, and we expect our future to be better in this country. πŸ˜‚

Anonymous said...

I agree with Anon 16.20. Those who haven't been in your shoes will not know what you have gone through and because of the sentimental nature of Nigerians will be quick to urge you to forgive. Some will even blame you.
I've been in your same situation and my father die exactly what your dad did only that in my case, my fiancΓ© did not marry me because of it. This and other things caused a rift between my father, I was angry, bitter, I disowned my father in my mind, I was tired of forgiving. But then I prayed one prayer to God, I told him that I put my relationship with my father into his hands and he should do with it whatever he wishes. I also told him to give me peace. This morning I just ticked off that prayer point in my prayer book as 'done'. I don't know how God did it but he did it, I have a much better relationship with my father now, my present fiancΓ© came to see him two weeks ago and he approved. My fiancΓ© formally proposed on my birthday some days ago and I said yes.
I don't know what your relationship with God the ultimate father is, but if you have one, pour out your heart to him, tell him all your anger and pains but tell him that he should do what he wants with your relationship with your father. Since your father is asking for forgiveness, forgive him and go see him. Not because anything will happen to you if you don't but because of God. However be careful, don't disclose your plans to him. Also find peace within yourself. Depending on the outcome of your visit, you can decide if you still want him in your life or not. Sometimes we forgive people but still cut them out of our lives so they don't keep causing us pain.

Anonymous said...

I have never commented on this blog, but this chronicle is just exactly like my life, the same profession, but I'm a girl, that's the difference. My father was so irresponsible that I can't remember him buying me a pencil in my primary school days, till I graduated, he didn't attend my wedding nor my siblings' , even though I relocated abroad without seeing him, I'm at peace with myself because the thouyof him alone brings sadness. So poster, what has really worked for me is forgetting he ever exists. You don't need to beg or reconcile with an evil or wicked father

Ani Innocent mum said...

Poster don't go anywhere 4give him through a phone discussion. When he dies if u r free attend his burial if u r free n bury d hatchet along with him. If de is something I've learnt in life is "run 4 ur life" wen ur enemy suddenly wants to make peace most of d times dey r always up to no good

Justyswt said...

Honestly, some parents can frustrate their children.

But poster, just forgive ur father for ur own peace of mind. It would go a long way to help u in raising ur own children right.

Justyswt said...

Anon 26:13, so sad a story. Why would a father do thi evil act to his own blood? What kind of a father is that? Thank God u hav forgiven him.

SWAG LAFRESH said...

The poster tried o.

Please go with the comment from lipstickalley.

Anonymous said...

Dude, I have same father as you! I am also currently in the U.K

Listen, DON'T GO FOR THAT MEETING! DON'T TELL ANYONE YOU'RE RELOCATING... let it be as you have said, you made them believe you'd attend so leave it as that.
You owe him nothing! He would definitely go diabolical on you so forget about sending cash and stuffs to him. It is funny how everyone screams "forgive" like all that trauma and abuse were trivial...do as you have decided, you'd regret it if you go to that meeting

Don't let anyone deter you! You've come this far because you stuck to your decisions after stern analysis of situations. Good thing about this is that you've been molded to be the kind of father that he wasn't .

Cheers

sholetoga said...

To err is man, to forgive divine
Poster.....forgive him and let God have his way in your life....

Eminado Onimisi said...

Poster for your own and family good and well being, follow lipstickalley's advice. BUT do not tell him about your relocation. Be very secretive to him and his family. The man is wicked and up to no good. He just want to get you close and strike again. If you go for the reconciliation, you can't rule out body contact, else it is not a reconciliation. You don't even know if the seat you will sit on will be jinxed.

Chiamaka L said...

I was going to so concur with your plans until I read Stella's opinion... Being a christian can be hard at times

Anonymous said...

This is really a chronicle.

Joy Okanje said...

Forgive him brother! But don't forget don't attend the meeting call and let him hear your voice and move on

natabombom said...

Stella pls post my comment oooo

Anonymous said...

@Larry, some fathers are from the pit of hell. My dad is exactly like poster's dad, and we always forgive him, but nothing you do for this man that he will appreciate. Children you did not train and you treat their mother like trash, built you a house, bought car and make you comfortable, but you still tell the whole world you don't have children. Useless men

Not anonymous said...

Oh King Eze this your comment deserves a trophy! The anger, the hate. God should just help us.

KIDJO D MAMALAWO πŸ‘ΏπŸ’€πŸ‘ΏπŸ‘½πŸ‘ΏπŸ’€ said...

Seeing tales of wicked fathers makes me miss my dad the more.Those wicked dad will not die on time but the cool dads keep dying.Oh death why??
Poster, forgive your dad so you can ve peace of mind.
RIP to my sweet dadπŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜­πŸ˜­

Anonymous said...

The prophetess tore your family apart. Take it to the moon and come back, it is the fact. The man was deceived. Forgive him and move on with a clean mind.

Drealbarbz said...

Poster for your own good please pray seriously about it, and only go see him if u are led. U can forgive him without seeing him face to face. Him asking to see u just doesn't sit right with me as u'll never truly know d heart of man.
Whatever decision u take, please forgive him from your heart and wish him well. U don't need to see him to forgive him. Use wisdom.

captain cutie said...

Hmmmm no one ever remembered the prophetess in all of this.....any how you want to do it.....sha forgive your dad

Just Glamour said...

Poster please take @Lipstickalley's advice,they always want forgiveness,when they lost everything.

Anonymous said...

Na wa o, some people are not meant to be parents. But do not let bitterness and anger keep you from heaven.
You don't have to go if you don't want to but you forgive him over the phone and stick to your plans for your own sanity.

Anonymous said...

He may not have done all these with his ordinary senses all this while but he is still your father. I have a friend who never forgave his father till his father died and he still regrets it. Please forgive him and trust me you would be relieved. He is your blood!

Amacastel said...

To me I don't even have my father's num, poster don't go & see him if you like your life else he will use ur life to exchange his,He is an evil man Pls lock up, run far away from him & his family Atlist till you balance abroad, My own is worse cos my enemy is always my dads best friend, there is nothing to forgive he should be dead to you by now cos for me thought of my father brings back pain & anger of my past, people telling to forgive don't knw how you feel cos they haven't been in ur shoe so they can't advice you on what to do,
Run πŸƒ πŸƒ away from THAT MAN IF YOU LOVE YOU LIFE & PROGESS, # TALKING FROM EXPERIENCE #

Amacastel said...

Yinmu which man a man that is dead to him. Oga poster face ur life, learn from your father's mistake & be a loving & caring father to kids, Kapish.

Amacastel said...

Loud it,
Which nonsense father while the Bible say a man that can't take care of his family with love is worse than a witch, the same Bible says suffer not a witch to live. That man is one, he deserves no mercy & forgiveness,

Amacastel said...

Anakogheri, do you knw what he pass tru from him, you don't knw how pple feel till you are in their shoe

Anonymous said...

Yes u can block him & reject any physical or spiritual association with him forever. Because he hates u really very much regardless of being related or family.
Certain things like that r left for ur God & creator to be in control.

Oprah for example has no personal relationship or any close interaction with her biological mother today. Even though Oprah takes very very great financial care of her, but Oprah hates to see her, or talk to her or to be anywhere near her. Oprah forbids her to have her private or personal phone number.
Because the woman hated & hurt Oprah so much when she was a child & little girl so vulnerable.
Her mother will put her outside in the night to sleep in the verandah or balcony of her home alone there like a dog. While her mother will keep Oprah's half sister(from another father) inside the house to sleep in a bedroom. Her mother preferred & lover her other daughter because she's light skin & looks more beautiful to her eyes than Oprah who is dark skin.
Several horrible things the woman & other family members did to Oprah as child, which today seriously badly damaged Oprah & made her to be how she reacts to those people till today. Even though she may have forgiven them, but never forgot what some wicked family members did to her.

Eneres said...

Young man, do not come in contact with your father. I beg of you. When you're over there with your family, you could drop money for them to rent him a place and sort his needs as a child of God that you are. You could even pass him pocket money through your mum or whoever. Forgive him in your heart so, you can find peace. But, pls do not go for any kain meeting, Abeg. That man doesn't like you. Protect yourself

Anonymous said...

Please forgive your dad. He probably didn't know when he said oya go. Must have been the fear of the robbers
Tee

Anonymous said...

Listen I am speaking from experience.

1) never ever go to that meeting, you can call the next closest fam member when they have all gather and tell them to put you on loud speaker and say to your father you can't make it but you forgive him then end the call, case closed.

2) tell nobody about your relocation including your mum, only tell her when you get there and if you can trust she won't tell anyone. When you tell her and your siblings give them SERIOUS warning not to tell ANYONE your whereabouts.

3) never in your life send money to your dad he will use it diabolically to do EVIL against you. If he starts requesting for money tell them to ask him what he needs it for. If it is food contact those vendors on IHN (they will soon start advertising)that you pay them and they will deliver the food to his house. Do not let your raw cash touch his hand!

4) do not set your eyes on him or attend his funeral because dem dey use jazz for body o. His funeral sebi he has other chilling that will pour sand on him. Abeg sand na sand o.

5) make sure you have truly forgiven him in your heart and face your life as he has lived his own life so live yours.

Bible says honour your father and mother so your days may be long. The next verse says

Parents DO NOT PROVOKE YOUR CHILDREN. But people forget this part of the same chapter. This man has provoked you so do as you deemed fit.

Good luck

Chyluv! said...

Poster pls do forgive him, not for his sake but for your own sake, for your own freedom and peace of mind above all because of God. I know some parents can be really wicked and used by the devil, but don't let this stumble you in life. Thank God you have a thriving career #mycolleague, just face it and your family but forgive him n always pray. I really don't trust him, n since the heart of man is desperately wicked please abstain from that meeting, and call him you self, apologize yes, be the bigger person, accept his apology, I beg you! Its easier said than done,God will give you his grace. You can read joyce meyers books on forgiveness or watching her every day living with Joyce Meyers on day star and tbn channels, I say so cos she has taught me a lot abt forgiveness which she struggled with cos she had a sexually abusive father. But in the last year's on the man's life, she forgave her parents and she is so happy now. Its well Cheers.

Chyluv! said...

Poster pls do forgive him, not for his sake but for your own sake, for your own freedom and peace of mind above all because of God. I know some parents can be really wicked and used by the devil, but don't let this stumble you in life. Thank God you have a thriving career #mycolleague, just face it and your family but forgive him n always pray. I really don't trust him, n since the heart of man is desperately wicked please abstain from that meeting, and call him yourself, apologize yes, be the bigger person, accept his apology, I beg you! Its easier said than done but God will give you his grace. You can read joyce meyers books on forgiveness or watch her everyday living with Joyce Meyers on day star and tbn channels, I say so cos she has taught me a lot abt forgiveness which she struggled with cos she had a sexually abusive father. But in the last year's of the man's life, she forgave her parents and she is so happy now. Its well Cheers.

Anonymous said...

Poster take Lipstickalley's advice, except there is no need to tell him you are relocating. He has shown time and time again that he has no good intentions towards you. Forgive him for your own sake so that your unforgiveness will not stand against you in judgement - cos the Bible commands us to forgive. It is an instruction not a suggestion. However, You must NOT be there physically. Call them on the phone and most importantly let go of the hurt in your heart. Release yourself and allow yourself to move on. Relationship is not by force, parent or not. I wish you the best.

Dre said...

Poster I am sorry for all the misery dad has put you through.
After reading your story, my initial reaction was to say don't go for the meeting and communicate your peace offer through a phone call.... However, on further thought, this decision will be based on fear; fear that you'll be jazzed or jinxed. If you have the power of God in you, you need not fear any human being or any principality. Go for the meeting but not without prayer and covering yourself in the blood of Jesus Christ whose name and power is above every other. Do not fear! Nothing will happen to you because you decided to go based on love and courage and a heart to forgive. This is what will set you free. God knows this and will protect your going and coming. This is my opinion.
Most importantly, ask the holy spirit to show you how to proceed do and to lead you to do His will I promise you will never regret it. This is the christian life and we must be live what we profess and preach.
Everything will be alright inugo, as long as you surrender it to the spirit. Remember, "the flesh (anger, rage, pride, bitterness, revenge etc) has nothing to offer; It is the spirit that gives life" - John 6:63
May He be your helper and your guide. Goodluck

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