Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Wednesday, 22 November 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm....





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

OLD GUY VERSUS NEW GUY


Hi Stellz. Kisses.

I met this guy middle last year. We just clicked and talk about literally everything, nothing intimate happened because during one of our many chats I found out he has a serious girlfriend of four years. 


We never talk about her.

 I caught feelings for him but it was not healthy and I sent a chronicle here once about it and was advised to stay away. Which I did. But he would always call and I always listen, everything work, family he just shares but the girlfriend in the picture made me realise if I continue I will just be hurting myself.


I moved on, fixed on my work and withdrew a bit. He checks in sometimes only for me to get a call last month with him crying like a baby that his girlfriend just died. 

Stella, I was dumb for a minute listening to him trying to find words amidst tears.
He has been calling, telling me I'm not a good friend o. That I'm suppose to be pampering him and I have this feeling hes trying to get closer. I care about this man, I still have feelings for him and I sincerely wish him happiness and a safe place. I just don't like the idea that he's coming this strong because his ex is no more.

And I just met a new man at work who stops by our office for business dealings. He's really serious about us, calls in, wants to establish something serious and I'm learning to grow in love with him but I'm not there yet. He's not bad.

They are both 32 but I don't know who to give more time to. I'm not really used to double dating. I thought of being a friend to the first guy till he's OK again Cos he really do need one now. Honestly sometimes I just stay and wish I could make all his grieve go away. He's so playful and it hurts me when he calls in moody. I just wish I could tell him it's OK I'm here but I think I care way too much than he does for me.

Should I move on with the second guy and be a friend to the first from a distance. I don't even know Stella. What should I do. Please help a sister out.



*I dont even know...You seemed to have formed a bond with the first guy...IS HE ASKING YOUT O BE HIS GIRL or just needs your shoulder to cry on?

The second new guy....have you found out whether he has someone or not?because he is coming on strong and is serious doesnt make him come to equity with clean hands oh..
are you under any kind of pressure?
If not study both en very well before starting anything...good luck oh!

62 comments:

Miss Ess said...

Give the first guy more time and chance since you seem to have feelings for him more. Watch and see if he wants something serious before you decide whether to move on to the second guy.

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

Let me consult google if you can move on. I dey come.

Let me eat my amala and gbegiri finish

Anonymous said...

Women!
"He wants to establish something serious"
Are you afraid to call MARRIAGE by name?
You want to get married to either of this men; isn't it?
If both of them should pop the question today, whom will you tell "yes" to?
Meanwhile, someone who was "seeing" someone else while "with a serious girlfriend" will still be seeing someone else while with a serious wife!

Anonymous said...

If you are able to answer this question, you will be able to move on.
If you had opened legs for that first guy with a serious girlfriend, do you think, he for no chop?

Anonymous said...

Did his girlfriend really really die? “Him saying you aren’t a good friend o” is a red flag.

With that established, give them time if you aren’t pressured. Time reveals everyone’s intention while giving time, close yaaaaa legs that way intention would be revealed quicker and also speak less.

Lipstick said...

Go for the second guy, your friend will understand. Afterall, when his girlfriend was alive he friendzoned you. Just offer your listening ear to the first and stay with the 2nd guy.

Anonymous said...

Date both! I didn’t say sleep with both, date both meaning get to know both. Nigerian women always feel like we have to be holy holy and only date one person at a time. Until you are clear that you are exclusive with one person and you are both on that same page, date both! Get to know them both, let them prove themseaeoves and intentions to you and then you choose. Nigerian girls always do as if men are helping us by befriending us, put yourself at the top of the list! Do what makes YOU comfortable!

uncolonized amy said...

My dear please do your investigation that girl is not dead, he only wants to get into your pants.

Anonymous said...

lol @study both of them well..by the way,you guys aint tired of relationship brohaha..get along jharee and enjoy the moment while it last and stop disturbing yourself over old and new guy..focus on your projects while enjoying every moment..trust me,when its time you will know its time and settling down wont be a herculean task.ladies una too worry una self jare..

DON™ said...

Have sex with both of them, your brain will start working thereafter.

BRENDA C. said...

Be the friend that helps a friend get over the death of a loved one...but do so with wisdom. Don't be his rebound...I'm sure he already knows how you feel about him and may take advantage of that.

Try finding out if she really died..or maybe she's travelled out of the country and he's trying to cash out on your feelings for him with a story he feels you wont resist.
then again, if its true...He was with a woman he loved for four years..pls don't think you can fill those shoes now that she's no more. There would be a lot of comparisms and more than half the time he's talking about his memories of her... how she made him laugh..how she wears her hair..how perky her boobs were...how she faught for him and defended him...then when the little fights start..he'll tell you "my ex would never do a thing like this..shoe never treated me this way...she always made sure my clothes are clean..oh' I miss my ex soo much..then when the fights get heated..you'll hear..my ex is so much better that you..if not for death, what would I be doing with you? etc etc....

my dear..just help him through dis period from a distance and give the new guy a chance..but first be sure he isn't coming with his own baggages too. All the best.

Anonymous said...

Now this is a real chronicle. Not all those silly stories of misbehavior and lack of common sense. I think you shoukd assess correctky your feelings for The ‘Widower’. He needs a friend right now, yes, but are you willing to be toyed with again? To be second fiddle? He didn’t choose you before now, why is he back again?

Don’t be fooled. Be wise

Anonymous said...

umm...poster you are begining to feel sober for him...meaning you feel you can be his helper to turn him from his moody feelings to a happy one..thats a red flag oh...

The Observer said...

Don't make a decision now.

Maintain a good distance bw u and the 1st guy, let him know (and u know also) that you r there for him but he needs to respect his late gf's memory and grieve properly before u come into his life. And no pity sex oooo!
Guy number 2 as well, take it slow and easy with him, get to know him a bit more.
No rush, what's urs is urs, let it come to you naturally

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Poster,you have to learn how to double date oh!...
Cos these men are not loyal!..
Keep both of them!...
You can do it!!..
Yes you can!!...
I did it when I was 18 talk less of a big girl like you...
Shine your eyes!!...
Don't put all your eggs in one basket!...

Anonymous said...

Poster Kpele, i usually tell myself that time is a true revealer of truth, so old guy cannot stay one minute without a woman, better tell him to show you proof to verify before you enter one chance. For New guy give it time.

i am kind of in your situation, only that in your case both guys work in the same organization and my gut instincts is telling me that they are trying to set me up because:

1. old guy has been acting up since i started talking to new guy but old guy is not aware that i know new guy n vice-versa for new guy.
2. i suspect because new guy chipped in an idea i only talked about with old guy and old guy has been acting funny since.

i think old guy is trying to test me, he's psychotic like that. This two guys have gone to discuss my matter in their Man-coven. Too bad i don't work in their organization.

P:S- I met them on two different scenario in my work neighborhood and it is SDK blog people that told me not to put my eggs in one basket & stop assuming the position of Office of Oga madam when i last sent in my chronicle.

I just they take side-eye dey look d two of them, bcos they don't know omo babe no be olodo. They wan come chop national cake.

PASTORS DAUGHTER said...

sweety you need to define both relationship. you can pray with him, pray for him, take him out on a movie date do what you can to console him but please he needs to know you are just a shoulder to lean on, not unless na God answer your prayer lol. dont go and give him hard on while trying to console him. he is vulnarable at that state and a good fuck will go along way in consoling him trust me but you wont like the end result bcoz he will gbensh you, make you catch feeling and then hurt you by saying some shit like you know i just lost my woman i am not emotionally ready for something serious i need time to mourn thereby making you feel like a used rag. And as for the other guy, my dear i have learnt to take things slow and easy. be calm and observe with keen interest, with time you will know what you need to know and when you do i will advice you define it before opening toto.
best of luck baby girl.






*hangs leg on the wall*

carina koko said...

dont let the first guy use you has a rebound girlfriend.yes he is grieving and needs your comfort but dont let it get that far. have an open mind.

The Observer said...

Abi! U r right! But that level of thirst ehnnnnn

SUGAR. said...

Thank ooo Aunty. Thank you.

See format na.

If truly she is dead, is he not suppose to mount her for a while instead of looking for where to 'put in the tip'.

Use your head oo. Stop catching unnecessary feelings.

Push up said...

Date the one who is asking you out, the one being formal about it not the person coming without clear intentions before they friend zone you again

charitybino said...

Alright

Anonymous said...

My humble advice is you keep the first guy who we assume he has lost his girlfriend at arms length. Call him once in a while and PLEASE don't meet him. You are already feeling pity for him and that's not the way to love someone. Do the maths....what if his girlfriend is still alive? You will always be that second choice. Don't make yourself the spare wheel. If you are not good enough for him as Number one then he does not deserve you.Tell him you already have someone you are seeing and see how he will react. You might just end up being his rebound if you not careful and once he stabilizes emotionally he might move on. But if he is very serious then he too has to wait and see how things unfold between you and the new guy. Let's see if he will also be patient enough. If he is yours he will wait and be patient to win you over. I feel the new guy is on a normal path and all you need to do is watch him, observe,study and do the necessary checks and ask the right questions. And with time you will see if he is the one.

#come back and thank me later.

Ralu M said...

The 1st guy had a gf yet was bonding with you? It's women like you that will see the signs yet walk into a relationship with a man who cheats. He wants pampering because his gf died? Is that your job? To be nurturing and pampering men that are grieving?
Why don't you give the 2nd guy a chance and see where it leads to? And leave men that are on the rebound (that is if that's what he's going through sef)

Anonymous said...

It's cold this morning bookies. I'm going to relaxed, chilled and read comments!! I dey house all day till Sunday!

Miss Juliet said...

That girl is not dead,he wants to sleep with you before he gets married.

Eleganza said...

jux keep them as friends bcos i didnt see any of them as a boy friend.

Chidinma Grace said...

Please don't be any guys rebound. His girlfriend is dead and he is warming up to you so as to forget her. After he forgets her, he may not be emotionally available to you again because then, he may not need you again. Watch the two from a distance first. Good luck

Anonymous said...

What killed the girl friend? Did u try asking him how it happen? Pls ask questions biko...

Pls queen and boss , I need ur help! I need deliverance in ur church biko, how do I go about it? I'm in Lagos. Pls help ur sister in need, I will meet a man today, tomorrow he will just vanish without any explanation! I can't take it anymore, I think something is wrong somewhere.

Greatlady. said...

Ahn ahn @Sugar, how will somebody joke with DEATH just to get in between someone's leg. Even a crazy person cannot pretend to that level

Bheem said...

A million likes for your last paragraph. Abeg forget the first guy lest you write chronicles all your life. Remember you've written two chronicles in less than one year of knowing him. Na you sabi sha

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a Ugegbe Chike Teflon said...

I don't think there's an harm in weighing both of them. But I also think You're jumping too soon, As with most of us women.
That first guy, I don't like what he sounds like sha. Why is he coming now cos his gf is late? is she really late? Cos these men lie baby geh. You can be a shoulder but give him side eye.

I think you should give second guy a chance. And let first guy know that you're unavailable cos you have a new boo and this is just a shoulder to lean on. That might change his approach and incessant calls and if it does, then you know he's still a scam.

Do your homework

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a Ugegbe Chike Teflon said...

You can't make his grieve go away girl! Are you God? It's not up to you Biko. He can't come and dump it all on you. Abeg small small with consolation. Na so them dey take dive 'virginia'. Don't let him sexy daddy your Vjay 😂

St.FranKooL.... said...

Lol..The first guy is a cry baby & wants you to pamper him, are you his step-mother? Give him breast milk...

You better remain single than be confused...

Rowland Dominic said...

Yori Yori mbok, tell the waiter to ready a plate of Oha soup and Better cowleg with Garri. Let me quickly use the toilet. I'll be back.

Rowland Dominic said...

Lipsticalley, let's bask in the euphoria of *What if* a little bit.....
Now, What if the gods took a twist and decided to clear a path for her by letting his GF RIP for her to claim her Man. What if she accidentally or unaccidentally prayed for him to leave the girl, but the evil forces mistook it and killed the gf?
What if this new guy is a serial womanizer?
What if she finds her happy ever after with this Ubi Franklin of a guy that's crying up and down?
Lastly Lipsticalley what if you didn't just advice her to settle for this second guy? Lol
Reader, what if you date both of them and when you see the one you are really interested in you dump the other?
What if........ 😊

SUGAR. said...

*mourn.

Greatlady where art thou from? Nigeria?

Lipstick said...

Great Lady isi gini?

Didn't that local Oha soup man claim his wife was on her death bed to scam people off their money

Anything is possible Nne, we are in ember month 😀😀

QueenKunta said...

Gbam!

QueenKunta said...

Please go and learn how to spell properly so you won't be silly next time.

QueenKunta said...

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

Anonymous said...

Khai.....see the latest phrase trending."Don't let him sexy daddy you Vjay".

The Lifted said...

I am not sure what I want to tell you poster. But then I think you should give the old guy some time,try to be there for him without getting involved,maybe he just needs someone to be there for him during his trying time. He might want something else but its in your place to guide him o.(don't know if you actually know you are 2nd choice for him).
As for the new guy,since he is serious now is the time to do your detective duty so u don't enter a one chance thingy.
After everything come & tell you who you finally chose. meanwhile if u decide to go with old guy it won't be a crime o, just do you.

QueenKunta said...

You dey craze ni? Na evening we dey nah...

QueenKunta said...

Ya not serious @sexy daddy your Vjay😅😅😅😅😅

Anonymous said...

I have to write in all caps:

SISTER! WHILE HE HAD A WOMAN HE WAS EMOTIONALLY CHEATING ON HER, YET HE DID NOT LEAVE HER. YOU..HIS ACCOMPLICE YOU WANT TO FALL INTO DATING A MAN WHO IS A KNOWN CHEAT? Sister, why? Men are not scarce biko. Now his woman is "dead" (Some how I do not believe him, men have "killed" their wives for kpekus), he knows you are an easy target, please help yourself and keep him at arms length. You are not Master Jesus the comforter, you are not the Master Healer. If his woman passed on, he should atleast mourn her small. Is he not sad a little? He is already pushing up on you. Sister! Weigh the second guy and if he is not good MOVE ON. It will not kill you girls to wait on good men. All men do not cheat...ALL MEN DO NOT CHEAT. Do not fall for the lies, ALL MEN DO NOT CHEAT. Guy 1 is not for you. If you are foolish enough to follow him, be sure that your whole relationship will be chronicles.ng!

Anonymous said...

I will go with d first guy u have known him a bit d guy is loyal dats why when he was still with his girlfriend he didn't start anything with u dats rare to find dis days.

sholetoga said...

Poster......It's clear you like the first guy more than the second guy . Take your time to study him and get to know what he want......but give him time to get over the death of his girlfriend if you rush him, he would start comparing you with his dead girlfriend
The second guy seem to like you more but you still need to ask him questions. Go on dates and get to know him. From experience, it's always good when the man is more in love with the woman

Chyluv! said...

You seem to be in love with this first guy, I just feel that he sees you as a 2nd option which isn't good enough for me. I would say you can go out with both of them on dates, and see how it goes from there. Make kwa sure that guy A is saying the truth about his gf dying. Met someone before who lied his wife was late,i wondered why he always wanted us to see only at night or travel to another state, not until he mistakenly wore his glistening wedding band and came to school to see me then. After gisting for a few minutes we said goodbyes and i said nice ring! my regards to your wife, he stood there mouth agape.

NKAY said...

ROWLAND DOMINIC.....You have said it all....poster check out the *what ifs*

Anonymous said...

And the new guy could also be seeing someone else

Lipstick said...

So Rolly, his girlfriend had to die for him to realise they could be more than friends? 😞😞😞😞

Mba nu, let her go and date the second guy. If it does not work out, then, they can help each other out 😊😊

Iuleha virologist said...

Please give the second guy a chance. First guy just needs a friend, if you date him, you'll get hurt. I assure you. Please be a friend if you can and leave feelings aside, expect nothing in return.
Please feel free to let the second guy know you're not a player. Let him chase you HARD before you give in.

Was in your same situation and I am happily married to guy number 2.*winks.
Hi chikito and chike...I can supply your wedding asoebi ooo.*winks

Anonymous said...

Men sha. 😎. Good luck poster. Ayam not a soothsayer. 🙅

Chika Vincent said...

Lol,poster pls dnt date the first guy o make him dead girlfriend no come dey flog you kobo kobo for night o, infact find out what even killed the girl.Give the second guy chance and be doing your investigation with the first guy... wish you Luck...

Rowland Dominic said...

Lipsticalley well as the saying goes 'Shit happens'..... I will rather prefer she dances one corner with the Angel she knows rather than the devil she knows not. You know why? Because he proved he is kinda faithful, how? While he was dating his Supposed Dead GF(that's if she's really dead), he didn't try to play a spermy sexy daddy (according to Chike to lol) on her, he stayed true to his GF, but gave a flying sign or an unnecessary flirtatious sign to the poster but NEVER left his GF. So to me that alone stands him out

Anonymous said...

@17:21
We offer advice based on what we were told; isn't it?
We weren't told that the new guy was seeing someone else; were we?

my opinion said...

Poster, NO girlfriend died!

That guy knows you are catching feelings for him and wants to play you!

He needs something badly from you. And it's probably pussy and money.

Be very careful!!!

If you don't like the second guy enough, "cool it down" and wait for someone else.

That first guy is major heartbreak doing press
up

#bye

Anonymous said...

Eyah, why so pained. You must be one of those unfortunate souls that sent in a dumb retarded chronicle. Stroll back into the cave you crawled out of, useless idiot.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a Ugegbe Chike Teflon said...

Lol. We have heard.

Weed Chic said...

Are you sure the girlfriend really died?. Picture of the corpse or adonbilivit

Dre said...

@Rowland Dominic...What do you mean by the 1st guy proved he's kinda faithful? Faithful my a**. What do you call the emotional charged conversations they were having? Plus it only went as far as it did because Poster used her sense and drew boundaries. We both know what he would have done if she had been game so please spare her your Devil and Angel sermon.

Poster please stay far away from the alleged widower. He sounds like a manipulative user. Saying you need to be pampering him?? A man whose wife just died??

Listen to your instincts woman and pray to God to guide you. Don't fall into a ditch with your eyes open all because of feelings.

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