Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Marriage Diaries

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Thursday, 11 January 2018

Marriage Diaries

We want to share what some women go through in marriages but can't share with people around them because of certain reasons...it is a closed door but this  might help you find closure knowing you are not alone...This is the pilot series from Ari and I am yet to approve it...lets see how this goes.....

This is not a Chronicle....






My name is Aridunnu(not real names).I am from the South western parts of Nigeria. I am 26 years old and I have been married for a year and some months.
I grew up without the love of a mother. I was raised by someone else (maternal grandmother) where we have other cousins and nephews staying as well.
My Father does not stay with us. job takes him to different places from time to time. He is the type of Man who will come and impregnate his wife, sends regular and consistent upkeep money even in his absence.



 He is dedicated to the financial well being of his family. As well as their health. But emotionally he was VERY ABSENT,(He grew up as an orphan and has that sense of everybody can survive on their own).

My mum can be described as a 21st century mum(lol). Her constant phrase is "before my children eat 20, I must have eaten 30". Its a Yoruba proverb that I just translated the way in understand it. But it means something like Myself before my children.

My mum invests in clothes that are in vogue, jeweleries, attending parties etc. She has no car or landed property to her name. She is someone that Yoruba's call" Afani Adugbo". It means she is good to outsiders, she thrives on how they praise her and acknowledge her presence. She loves money. It does not matter the source.


I am a complete opposite, am an introvert but not boring. On days that I want to socialise, I do it very well and am also somehow religious. I have the fear of God so much but not to the extent of not wearing trousers, weaves or earrings.
We do not really get along course of our differences with stuffs and she can be very manipulative.You must please her always to be in her good books.


When I met my husband, then fiance, she didn't like him because he was the type of man that didn't socialise, he does not drink nor smoke. According to her not exposed.He is too gentle and does not have enough money.


But because I had received confirmation through my dream, and somehow convinced that he was mine. I was ready to go along with it. She was also told in church(she attends white garment that he is good for me. Though there is a clause to that. The clause is that I will meet someone better during my Service year. I never did. I met only married and complete useless guys. She believed a richer person will come). 


She didn't allow him get close to her but he and my dad got along so well. He also got along with my granny and siblings.
We planned the wedding. We courted the Christian way. We stayed off gbenshing and other stuffs. But we constantly communicate. We talked about everything on phone.(Though sometimes he has to be pushed but when I did, he was willing to share.


He is very caring too. He is the type of man that will be at the market and see something I would like and buy it, not material things o. Not something like cloths o. But he can use food to kill you lol. As in buy shawarma, buy packed foods from eateries. Ice cream etc.
But when it comes to cloths or jeweleries. Oga na Ijebu. Oga will insist on Aba made to Italian. All na cloths. Na to cover nakedness.


But Ibon the other hand, can go hungry to buy the latest thing in vogue. I might have just 5 cloths o, buy you can take it to the bank that they are expensive, trendy and of very good quality and standard.
I didn't mind. I was working. Anything Oga give me, I will add my money to buy what pleases me.
Yes we talked about everything from what foreplay we will have, to gbenshing positions. I was not naive about s§x. Though I was a virgin but he became celibate because of me. (My rules).

He was always talking about me sucking his deek. And anytime he mentioned it I would say I can't do it. I also told him that if it was going to be a problem after marriage, that we could stop dating.
I remember also asking him that if the s§x wasn't good, will it stop him from being faithful. His answer was No.(I still have proofs of this discussion in my Facebook messages).


I GOT MARRIED FOR LOVE AND COMPANIONSHIP. (I was able to confide a lot in him. I needed to be loved.He was my friend,nobody has ever shown me love the way he did).But unknown to me, His Love was connected to Sexual satisfaction.
NOTE


Yes I dreamt that he was the right Man.I am a dreamer. And my dreams constantly come into reality. But when God gives you something, you are supposed to make it work for you. For example, if you pray for a job, and you got one, you are supposed to work hard at the job for promotions etc. 


It is also the same with when God reveals to you that an individual is your life partner, he will not come completely made. You still need to change, bend, sharpen some things about him or her.
That was my mistake and the beginning of my chronicles.
Fast forward to after marriage, when the hymen has been broken, we gbenshed every day, sometimes thrice in a day. But there was a problem........

The gbenshing was very painful and not pleasurable too unlike what I had read in novels (am a big fan of romance).
Oga no wan understand that o. Something he had waited for. We dated for 27months.
During my abstinence days, I used to masturbate(I no be the original fargin lol).Most times while reading novels. I fingered myself. I usually reach orgasm when he fingers me too but not when he penetrates with his penis. I like midnight gbenshing.
Also I like it when it's dark, like the light turned off while dear husband loves light. It must be shiny bright. He likes to see all the sex organs in 3 D. It turns him on. Also he is a morning, afternoon and evening type.(He does not joke with sleep).

However, while hubby was a bachelor, he had become a porn addict. (Unknown to me,I got to know after marriage)He loves all this type of tying hands, using force,gbenshing the shit hole, very awkward gbenshing positions etc.)

NOTE.
I have never denied him gbenshing at any time even though I was not enjoying it. It showed in my body language. But I denied him of sucking his Deek(bad hygeine on his part,and the shit hole fucking, I'm still young to have cancer or be leaking urine or poo.lol).

A month after marriage I conceived.
The sex reduced then, pregnancy complications till after birth.


Problem 2
I was working before marriage.I was neither a company or contract staff. I simply hanged with the company. I claimed to be an intern but i got paid on the field. (Its unethical).But it was a job that your payment was determined by performance. I was really lacking for months due to tiredness. Hubby was tired of giving me transport fare so I had to quit. 


In my mind, I would be able to look for a proper employment. I became full housewife with little side hustles.
We started having flimsy quarrels, oga was not satisfied sexually and all ginancisl obligations arebon his head.He had to let it out somewhere. So he became temperamental around the house. Very little thing ticks oga off.


NOTE.
I did not collect house allowance when I was working. What I did was buy foodstuffs, provisions and other things needed with my money. When I get home I inflated the price and hubby gives me back my money plus the added non existent money. 


Our house is.located far from any market. If you buy things around is much more expensive. Its like twice or thrice the normal money. So when I stopped working, hubby offered to get them while coming back from work, it was more economical.

That meant I had no money coming from stocking the house again.
While at home, I volunteered at a public primary school and taught them for free. (At least do something good for someone).
Then one night..............



If you begin to understand what this diary is about you can send in your entries..............Ari as you were saying!

74 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Why the suspense nauuu. See the way i was reading, you will think i will write exams on it later 😁😁😁

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    2. I don't like this suspense o

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  2. This is sure gonna be interesting.
    Can't wait for d concluding part...

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  3. oh oh oooo. Why did you stop. Please continue

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    Replies
    1. You are a very good writer, such an interesting read plus I like what you said about God giving you a man you can help work on, there is no already made man anywhere who has all the perfect qualities. Ladies have to understand that 7 out of 10 good qualities actually makes a great man

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  4. Why d suspense na? Comman conclude it asap biko. It will be really nice if this segment will come to stay so people can learn..

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    Replies
    1. Poster continue , I love this

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    2. Yea true Sandy.
      It's an insight to how some marriage could be.

      Quite interesting. It awakes my imagination

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  5. Wow, it's going to be an interesting segment.
    I just learnt that time duration too affects how we enjoy sex.

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  6. Omg stellz! I love this, love love it. Marriage not easy at all. Some people have trouble settling in, while other somehow thrive. Oh well, lotsa people will go anonymous. Bring it on people

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    Replies
    1. Wow!! I love this. Some people really have trouble settling in.... I've been married for 6months and still trying to settle, intact , I regret getting married now and have refused to take in. My hubby na real weyrey, I've never met someone like him in my life . So petty and childish. I was acting all mature and classy but not anymore, I've shown him that I have madness tooπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Anytime/anywhere he starts the madness, I give him double double hahaπŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„. You can't shame the shameless. Nigga is always surprised when I retaliate. Once I have enough money, I'll disappear into thin air and he'll never see me again. Marriage is hard oooh!!! 6months of no peace, everyday fight

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    2. Madam new bride, why don't you take it easy and make your marriage work.
      Commit his heart to God, don't argue with him when he is angry, two wrongs don't make a right, as long as domestic violence is not involved.
      My first year in marriage was very tough, na so so fight, but with time we got over it.
      No marriage is perfect but we were able to overcome.

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    3. Anonymous14:54 you guys didn't date? 2016 my friend introduced me to a guy that he wants a wife, thank God I wasn't desperate na one chance I for dey now. So childish, manipulative, abusive, control freak, gosh! I can go on. worst, his family are treble ppl. I'm secretly planning how to relocate cos I hv told him I won't marry him but he's insisting I must marry him. God help me with my plans.

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    4. Anon calm down and find ways to make it work.

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    5. But to be honest, the worse thing that can happen to any woman is to marry a childish grown man.

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    6. @Anon, one fact I know is that the first 2years for most marriages is the most difficult.

      Two different individuals,
      two different backgrounds, values, belief, ways of doing things, both coming together under one roof to agree, to follow a path ...can be very difficult and most times some couple just can't deal. Rather than try to compromise and reach a level of understanding, they go the Divorce route.

      Marriage is not child's play.
      One needs to be mentally, physically and spiritually prepared before getting in.

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    7. "@15:53"
      'treble ppl?"
      How about bass ppl or tenor?
      This your grammar construction is TERRIBLE!

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  7. hmmmm...marriage tales. every marriage with its challenges..I agree with the working on what God has provided part...faith without works is nought.

    Then again, men are usually aggressive when their women are home all day doing nothing. God help we women

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    Replies
    1. Please it's not all men well minus my husband he doesn't have a problem with me not working, his paying for my education am also learning how to bake and i'm planning on learning how to sew he loves me so much and put I and the kids first, he respect me so much he doesn't hide his income from me and God has been blessing him.
      It is not jazz his God and his upbringing, he use to say the way he saw his dad treat his mum he pray he can be half of what his dad was so pls not men.

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    2. My dear atleast your doing something, we are talking about those that are home full time... Sure sure "see finish" go enter

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  8. Awwwwww.why cut the tale when I started to enjoy it.SDK oooooo

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  9. Poster you are a strong woman
    I like that you are not having a pity party
    Hope the story ends well for you......

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  10. I love this post. Was already thinking of sending something in this regard. I guess someone has beaten me to it. Nice one stells.interesting read too.

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  11. Can't wait to read the concluding part,money is the most important thing in evry marriage or else you see the other part of
    your partner.

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  12. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ nice. Waiting for part 2.

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  13. Please what you described as your mom is the general way most Yoruba women behave; partying etc.

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    Replies
    1. My mum single handedly sponsored her 5 daughter's education as far as masters abroad.And yes she is a Yoruba woman.Get your facts right and stop being a short thinker.

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    2. A bad mother is a bad mother, it's not about where they come from. Be nice.

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    3. That crossed my mind as I read the story; Yoruba women are focused on fun and pleasures/entertainment at the expense of their children/spouse. Toke Makinwa is the poster child for what a typical Yoruba woman is like. Selfish, self-absorbed and pleasure driven.

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    4. That crossed my mind as I read the story; Yoruba women are focused on fun and pleasures/entertainment at the expense of their children/spouse. Toke Makinwa is the poster child for what a typical Yoruba woman is like. Selfish, self-absorbed and pleasure driven.

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    5. Haba dis hatred nawa ooo. It takes 2 ppl to make marriage work? Abeg free am

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  14. Aii this lady is a pro at writing about i was glued to the screen all through.

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  15. Interesting. No marriage is the same but I believe in intimacy before marriage to avoid stories. Waiting for the continuation..

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    Replies
    1. All the intimacy you have been having with over 100 men, how far? continue

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    2. you vile adder. Have you been following her around? Holier than thou?

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  16. Nice one, putting my fingers crossed

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  17. Holala
    This is gonna be so interesting
    Stellz your creativity is top notch

    You sure know how to make one glued
    Pls endorse oooo

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  18. This segment is so interesting.
    Please approve it.

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  19. Nice one. Looking forward to the concluding part

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  20. Stella,i have alot of things on my mind to spill maybe i will be able to find closure....But i am not a good writer..i have saved my LRD for my 2 kids but i have not sent it...i hope i will have the courage to do so.

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  21. I like this Stella. God bless you poster, waiting for the concluding part

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  22. I really like this. I am not married yet, hoping to one day.

    It would help me put things in perspective as well as educate me

    Thanks Stella and all the courageous women going to share their stories

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  23. Wow! Let's do this! Interesting, intriguing, suspense filled... Part 2 mbok Ari.

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  24. Poster you can write oh!very interesting I can't wait to read the rest of the story.

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  25. mine is an interesting story but I can't type abeg,make I nor go kill myself

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  26. Interesting.I will send mine soon but mine will be a lovely marriage journey oo lolz. Well no ring yet but I know God will do it soon.
    On the sex part,my dear is good to taste before marriage. God plz give me a rich boo plz.

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  27. Precix Books and Cakes11 January 2018 at 16:34

    Interesting. But let's also allow men to send there too. Some men have things they need to of load which they can't share with any one else. Let it not just be for women.

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  28. Well written poster.......I hope it ends in positivity!
    The singles can learn a lot here,don't expect perfection from your spouse,courtship is way different than marriage!!

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  29. This is really nice ,an eye opener to d singles nd a kind of relief to d married folks,knowing that u aren't alone.i like it.

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  30. Hmmm, marriage! No be beans. A times i miss being single. My Hubby is a good man, kind, generous, faithful and cares for me but he likes beer a lot and hangs out a lot while i prefer staying indoors. He is also not as romantic as i would like. I am often tempted to cheat, i am very beautiful and lots of admirers too. He is way older than me too,i sometimes think of running away with a younger guy but i am a Christian and i can't break my vows but it's hard. I shouldn't have married early

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    Replies
    1. I didn't marry too early,married in my early 20s. Perhaps should have waited till mid or now in my late 20s. I am well educated and a professional in my field and so i don't depend on him financially but i am getting tired. He doesn't understand me. I have a very close male friend and we have strong feelings for each other but my faith won't let me commit adultery, i have never cheated on him and i married him as a virgin but my hubby na real old school. May God help me cut this guy off but he is hot and good!

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    2. I also got married a virgin in my early 20's.
      I actually have a nice dude so close he asked me out ( after 2kids ). We ******. Now its hard for him to leg go of me... P.s(he's also married) what do I do?.
      I love my hubby but at times he can be so laid back( he's way older than I am).

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  31. Watch out for part2 ghen ghen ghen.....

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  32. Marriage is deep. Babes make your own money no matter what.no man will happily be your ATM forever.

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  33. This is interesting...stella I would also like a segment like this for single mothers to tell their stories of how they became single mothers.i know so many single ladies will learn from the single parent stories.

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  34. I really wish to get married before the end of this year Insha Allah.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don’t worry, just continue to do things that make you happy, improve your self generally and enjoy this phase. It will happen at the right time.

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  35. ANOTHER REASON TO HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE.. HOW WILL U NOT KNOW SEXUAL PREFERENCES? ALSO ADDICTION TO MASTURBATION IS A BIG KILLER

    ReplyDelete

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