Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Friday, May 25, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

You wont believe what you are about to read.....





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BITTER AND SAD MOTHER.

Trust you are good Stella? Pls I will like you to post this story as I would send the link to the lady involved..


''I'm 23 years old.. graduated from school already and awaiting service..(by November). I came from a broken home.. dad left when i was four . I have 4 other siblings.. 


Now,from that time till now,mum has been taking care of us.. a very strong woman,prayer warrior( dad chips in his little support every now and then ,though he's never physically and emotionally present as he has went on to Marry two wives after mum).. I love mum and appreciate her so much But there is a problem!! 


Mum thinks I and my siblings are responsible for her happiness. She is always very controlling. I built my whole life to please her,graduated as a Virgin to please her..( she is always boasting to people about it and I've begged her to stop that it's my private life and dosent add anything to the Society). . 


She would go on and on about how she suffered for us and gave up the chance of having a man and wasted her youth on us.. we all appreciate this.i and my siblings are not perfect but we try to be good..


This behavior has affected all of us emotionally... if you do anything,she will raise her clothes up and start cursing you! 

I remember an incident where she plucked the hairs of her privates to say it will Not be well with me.. what did I do? I cooked late. She is also very violent.she once poured petrol and lit a fire because my sister locked herself in the room and would not come out..thank God for timely intervention of neighbors. I don't understanding why she does all this.. 


I know she's sad and bitter about dad but we are trying to make her happy.. if I or my sisters are in a relationship,she would want to be fully involved.. 


I've been getting her too involved in my relationships over the years.. taking her words hook,line and sinker but now I regret it. Luckily both of my sisters 24 and 26 yrs.have moved out to other cities.they have decent jobs.she is not even happy with this and if possible wants them to return home.. 


I envy them somehow because they stand up to her . But I can't,I am always scared of her. Anytime I drop the phone after outbursts,depression sets in. At my age,im having B.P issues  and migraine headache because of this. it has affected my relationship with men. I always feel inferior and unworthy of a man's love and if any of my relationship end,she will tell me how it's my fault,how I didnt do this or do that...


 I'm sad,if im around her I always have anxiety and panic attacks. I dont know what to do.. I'm particularly scared about those curses.. funny enough shes always praying,spend all night praying and makes me to join whether I like it or not. Now after this prayers,she will still curse and say she is holding us all in her heart..that if she is not happy we would never be.

Sometimes she will tell I and my sisters that we would suffer what she suffered in marriage * tears*.blaming us for not settling her and dad. We tried our best.My elder bro even fought my dad(physically ) .now my dad hates him on a low-key.

I am the only one at home now.. ( others are schooling and working) I'm soo sad.. I'm losing drastic weight.. people think I'm doing fitfam but it's depression.. Sundays I don't even go out on dates so I can stay at home and keep her company.. please I need advice,correction even insult.Anything to take me out of this pain....what do I do?''




*What did i just read?Cant you move out to stay with any of your siblings who have moved out already?This is horrible and you need to leave that environment as fast as you can...

Your mum plucks hair from her privates to cuss you?OMG OMG OMG!!!

120 comments:

  1. Toxic, bitter, wicked and self centred mom I am sorry to say. You need to move out of that house, then again you need to rebuke every curse she has laid on you, go to a deliverance church and cleanse yourself from this bondage of curses laid on you by your mom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your mum needs help. I think you should have a heart to heart talk with her. She doesn't know what she's doing is wrong.

      If you guys leave her she might go crazy.

      Delete
    2. If possible,get her a therapist. Your mum might be depressed and it's affecting her mentally.

      You also need to free yourself from those curses but firstly,you need to help your mum.

      Delete
    3. Depression is the word, your mum is depressed she needs help.
      Please always pray for her

      Delete
    4. Be canceling the curses.
      She needs counseling/help.
      She needs good companies like good friends around.
      God will surely step in.

      Delete
    5. Poster,This is so sad. I can't imagine your pain. Your mum is really hurt from the breakup with your dad. Unfortunately she bottled it up and never had the opportunity to seek for help. Now she is transferring the suppressed aggression to her children. She is blackmailing you people emotionally. I am sorry to say this but your mum is sick. Mentally sick. It is almost like bipolar. Phases of mania and depression. Check the trend of adopted kids, kids from broken families, sometimes they tend to be angry at even those who showed them love not out of hate but of acting on suppressed anger. If you leave your house, your mum may lay more curses on you and she may commit suicide or die of heart break. She is not doing it out of hatred but out of helplessness. She needs psychologically support. If you all can afford it, let her start seeing a doctor. She needs proper diagnosis and prayers. I think it has passed a stage where talking to her alone will solve the situation. In fits of anger, she can kill or cause an irreparable damage. It sounds late but you can still save her from this suppressed anger and transferred aggression . Seek for professional help and prayers for her.

      She has put all her trust in you guys and is in constant fear of that trust being betrayed. Any perceived betrayal from her side will invoke a wrath that can be fatal. Never put your heart in anything that breathes, you will be disappointed. Love, trust and cherish but do not place your heart in there. There are good psychiatrist or psychologist. First sessions will be hard, she needs all the love she can get, she also needs discipline and firmness. I have no doubt that she revises those curses in her private and prayerful moments but she is helpless and seriously sick.Do not pack out. Seek for help. You all should be there to help her get rid of all the anger, humiliation, loneliness, and guilt she bottled up for years. I wish you all the best and pray that the super mum you have, get the healing she needs.

      Delete
    6. Wow!! God bless u for sharing this advice

      Delete
    7. Imagine being raised by a mother like this and u don't see anything wrong in what she is doing? This is d society we live in today, many pple walk ard bitter, are raised wrongly, don't see must of d things dey do as wrong and thereby thinking is OK( ie the likes of Cece). Any wonder our 'men' of today r something else??? The root cause is BAD MOTHERS

      Delete
    8. Your mom needs help and counseling. Something is wrong with her reasoning and emotions. However she may not likely agree she has a problem or get help. Pray for her. As for you, you can help yourself. Don't wallow in your situation as if you are done for for life. Start by telling yourself the truth which is you are not responsible for your mother's issues and you are doing the best you can. Bible says a curse without a cause is like a bird with nowhere to perch. Just reject them, forgive her and pray for her. Then try to work on your mindset and self esteem by being positive, read books on this and pray for yourself. See yourself in a positive light doing all the things you want to do. Don't waste too much time trying to explain things to her as she may never get it and even blame you more. Try to be firm with her concerning things you don't want to do. If you can't take it anymore you need to leave. Hopefully you will soon get a job and live your own life. Your mom has lived her own life and is still living it, but don't let her ruin yours. Finally, try not to dwell on her ish, instead concentrate on building your life.✌

      Delete
    9. What about father's? African women have suffered. These African men will disrespect these women, cheat on them, beat them, and most pay most of the bills in the house too. African men are the problem. If they learn to treat their wives or GFS with love, they will have peace to help in bringing up the kids.

      Delete
    10. POSTER, Your Mum needs a Psychiatrist, Psychologist and a Therapist. She is seriously SICK and in need of help.

      Delete
  2. Oh pleaseee.... Brace up yourself dear. Look for something doing even if its to learn a skill while waiting for Nysc just to have somewhere to go to daily. Dont take all she does to heart, she is soo lonely. Don't influence your posting, pray for her and draw closer to Christ. It is well with you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Proverb 30:21There are three things that make the earth tremble—

      no, four it cannot endure:

      22a slave who becomes a king,

      an overbearing fool who prospers,

      23a BITTER WOMAN who finally gets a husband,

      a servant girl who supplants her mistress.

      Delete
    2. Please poster, the bible says curse the cause less shall not come basically a curse without a cause ll not work. Do not be afraid of your mother, do what is right by her by respecting her logically and taking care of her but do not get tied down by her. Find a job and move out or pack your load and move to another city but move. Your mom needs help, this is personality disorder she might need a psychiatrist

      Delete
    3. Hmmmm, my mama is like that too but don’t know if she pluck hair from the private oooo.
      Just remember that you have tried your best. If you remain there, you can’t help her or yourself and you’ll end up hating her.
      Break the vicious cycle although it’s difficult - free yourself!

      Delete
  3. I don't even want what to say, just when you think you've heard it all hmmmmm I pray God intervene in your family

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's how most Nigerians behave. They will spend the whole night praying and reading bibles but their behaviours speak contrary. My mum can bear malice eeeh, she remembers what people did to her in the 70's yet she calls me everyday to ask if I went church, do you pray. You that goes to church everyday, don't they preach forgiveness there in the church.I partly hold churches of today responsible somehow because most things they teach in churches are prosperity, and how the enemies are going to perish. I attend my local anglican church here in the UK and the message is totally different. The only message they preach in my church is love love and love, agape love is the fundamental! If you love children, your neighbours and everyone around and far, the world will be a good place.

      Delete
    2. God Bless you anon 17:20.prosperity preaching yet people are getting poorer and praying for jobs instead of creating jobs. No love in our society anymore.

      Delete
  4. Wow some children do have them, what kind of parent is this one manipulating her kids to do her bidding.
    What are you so afraid of and why are you still under her roof? Forget about her curses, just hold on to God to reverse whatever she has placed on you so long as you know in your heart that you haven’t done anything at all to warrant them.

    November is around the corner dear, hopefully you are deployed to another state and when you do leave for service make sure to keep in touch and send money down to her when you can afford to but please stay away from her toxic behavior until she improves. Also, I don’t know how bold you are but I’d also suggest you have a talk with her because that is what I would do if I were in your shoes. She probably doesn’t even know the levity of her acts and thinks it is how to show love when it isn’t. You can also suggest this to your siblings and you all should fix a time to be around and have this talk to her telling her how it is affecting your lives. Hopefully she would improve and work on it. I doubt she would prefer to be avoided if she keeps this attitude up. Your brother should apologize to your dad please, no child should raise their hand against their parent that on its own is a curse. Your siblings should make peace with your parents and let them settle their issues as adults because they didn’t consult you kids before they copulated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is like my Aunty's story. Same line, same story. We have tried to talk her out of these behaviours but she won't agree. She's always right. What we all did is avoid her even the children. Do not allow her know too much. She would want to poke her nose. There have to be times to even keep the title of what is wrong with you to yourself not to talk of the main story. That is who they are. I don't think they can change anymore. But always do your best as a child for her. Call her, help her do some things. Message her, send gifts and food stuffs. That is if you have an opportunity of travelling out of her vicinity.
      If not, still do your best as a child pending d time you will have the opportunity. Note that a causeless curse is not effective. Let her rant and cuss, it can't do Nada. Take note of causeless cause too.
      BE PRAYERFUL

      Delete
  5. This Woman(narrator's mother) needs a good Ila Otu!!

    Narrator,break Free!! Join your sisters in their base!! Your mother will be fine!! Don't allow her to ruin your life with her bitterleaf attitude!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Asanwanyi .my sister said my mother is sexually frustrated, thats y she behaves like a cursed being. HahhHHha u pple may be right o.

      Delete
  6. Wow 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 what kind of a mother is this ekwanu Chineke God of ndi olumba? Dear poster you need to move out of that house ASAP.. Stop telling her anything about you or your relationship for now, try and join a department in your church so you can busy till you move out...

    It's well with your soul!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is what happens when they tell a woman to focus on her kids nd not her happiness when her marriage fails. She is bitter and angry!
      Unfortunately I dnt think u can help her. Please move out, go stay with ur siblings, her attitude will rub off on u if u dnt leave. U will start to act like her if you don't leave her environment. U dnt want to be a crazy mom to ur own kids when u have them.

      Delete
    2. This character traits, screams-NARCISSISM. Not much to talk about, dear poster. Look up this term and you'd be shocked at how well this describes your family dynamics.

      And for the record, forget about talking to her. You'd come out more burned than you can ever imagine, cos she'd spin everything around on you. Will never acknowledge her shitty behaviour and will only end up "gaslighting" you. Infact, you'd strt to doubt your own sanity and memory by the time she's done with you.

      Your only bet is to remove yourself from her as far as possible. Keep a low contact and learn to stand up for yourself. This for sure will come with its' consequences, but why let someone drive you into depression and anxiety.

      Stand up for yourself and create your "FIRM BOUNDARIES". Take that power from her and make your rules. Love yourself too much to want to preserve your life and never allow anyone, family or not to ruin it for you.

      #peace

      Delete
  7. Oh my God, my dear beg your sisters to take you in their houses before you die.


    Your mum is a witch with what she has done, placing curse on you.

    Please those curse needs to be reversed urgently because it will affect you. Wicked mother cutting her private hair to curse you is a WITCH.

    You need prayers and move out urgently.

    Sorry it is well with you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in hair from privates to place a curse on your own daughter? As in 'irun idi'??? E nor pain her? I have never heard this before in my life. What kind of mother is that? How will you even tell your own seed 'It shall not be well with you' because she didn't cook?

      There is nothing we won't read oh!

      Delete
  8. Simply pray against such curses and they can't even work as undeserved curses can never harm you.

    Also, I learnt to keep my relationship details away from my mom as all she sees is wedding and marriage in even the guys that say hi to me.

    Please BVs , anyone that has information concerning scholarships should kindly notify me.


    ReplyDelete
  9. She plucks hair from her...OMG😨😨...to curse you? What!!! I hope she knows the implication of that?
    See, you really need to leave that environment ASAP. It's terrible please.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Arise. Nothing will happen. Just get yourself away from her. I feel so bad for the Poster. How can you blame your children for everything that happened to you?!

      Delete
  10. Hmmm African parents sha; always holding their children responsible for what they couldn't do in life and trying to live their lives through you. It is well with you; I'm here to read comments and learn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam. If u complain about not eating,they will ask u to thank God, that they were even able to feed you in the morning. They feel they have done u a favour by bringing u into this world. Some will send their kids to go hawk, whilst they stay at home. When u grow up, and start a family...they don't care how u feed your wife and kids. All they care about is what u do for them. You are their slave right from childhood till like forever....smh. Your children are your responsibility. They didn't ask u to bring them into this world

      Delete
  11. My dear am feeling your pains. Mum pluck her hair and curse you, this is the worst have ever heard this year. Anyways she is your mum forgive her and move out of the house as soon as possible so you will get yourself back.

    Do as your siblings did... Make yourself happy, go out visit friends, family members, aunties etc.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sdk, you don't understand.
    She is broken her spirit is broken because of all the negative things she has heard. Remember, her mum is the only parent she knows.

    Something similar has happened to my brother. He is over 40. Lives at home and hasn't really being in a steady relationship. My dad was hard, he will curse and abuse. And say every negative word. For his kind of temperament it broke him completely. He doesn't have the nerve. We are just praying that God will fix his spirit and give him courage. Its hard. You can't understand until you go through it or know someone first hand whose gone Through it. I believe my brothers have issues majorly cos of the negative words they heard.

    Once my dad, washed his hands and told my brothers they were not his children and they won't succeed. Why, because they were late in washing his clothes.

    These things are deep.

    Poster, you have to.learn to stand up to your mum step by step.

    Mum I can't pray with you today. Then tune out of what she has to say to you. Visit your sisters and learn to stay with them. If you hang around your mum I don't see you marrying and then for these kind of people its easy to manipulate and dominate them. Most of these kind of people are the ones who go through domestic violence cos they don't know any better. I said most not all...pls.

    Pray, poster you need loads of it. See and say positive things to yourself. Don't believe everything your mum says. Any curse that has no Justification will not stand. Build your inner strength. You will grow stronger by the day.

    You mums life is not yours. You didn't ask to be born. Its not your fault that these things happened to her. And no it doesn't have to happen to you. Cancel every curse and nullify it.

    All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  13. jezzzzz, too bad. Just move out as soon as possible.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Firstly, a causeless curse can't stand. God isnt unjust. If your mum curses without reason, they are null and void. It is God who justifies, and he knows both sides of your story. Fear not.

    Secondly, tell her you want to go and visit your sisters. Please stay there for a while and get a clear head. You can't be in toxicity and not feel depressed.

    Thirdly, low-key ask your dad the reason for their divorce. If he has done anything to her that he is yet to apologize for he needs to start now. She's probably holding on to something that they both dont want to discuss. Have a meeting with both of them (lock yourselves in cos your mum is dramatic. Lol) table everything out. Her issues with you guys, with your dad, yours dad's issues with your brother, everything. Let say what is chooking her and if possible get a pastor to seat with you guys and let her know the implications of her words for her children. I'm certain she has hidden issues that are unresolved, hence her bitterness.

    Anyway, this is how some BVs who are just naturally upset will be when they grow old... If care isn't taken 🤣🤣

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @your last paragraph
      I wonder who’s on this table that you’re shaking 👀

      Delete
    2. 👌👌 at your third paragraph. Her mum has a lot inside her that is eating her up.

      Delete
    3. Chikito these kind of people hardly change. All you can do is love them from afar. You can talk from now till t ommorrow. Change at age of 50 and above. They are too bitter to even see they have a problem.
      My grandmother is like this and even worse. She passed it down to my mother and her sister. They are just a less harsh version. I visit them once in a while but you can't live with such people for your sanity sake. We the children are trying to brake the cycle. I have spoken to them a million times. It's wasted effort. Before I got married I just packed my bag and got my own place and love them from afar and we all have splendid relationship.
      Once I go visit and their madness wants to begin I pack myself and kids and say time to go home. Visit has ended,till next time. Even when she came to do omugo we fought. And I told her I can handle the rest and my inlaw came instead. We can't spend more than two weeks together in peace. And you know it's not good fighting your mum infront of hubby and his people they will see you as rude child without manners. But they don't understand.

      Delete
    4. @snarker you that angry BVs have said is my alternative ID???
      The table is heavy my dear, but it won't fall. Theres plenty support underneath 🤣🤣

      Delete
    5. Lolss @ Your last paragraph😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Delete
    6. Ds ur last paragraph is very funny... I can imagine... let me not call names before they push me down

      Delete
    7. Hmmm.... some chronicles can't leave me but to comment. Anon 16:04 looks like i typed that comment. My family is so you Jesus! I love them from afar mbok. Am still yet to recover from the self-esteem they have killed. Poster go to your sisters' place or hold on till whenever its time for service. When you go for service, don't come back, i repeat don't come back. Try and get a job no matter how small and be sooo independent from her. Go home during holidays and don't ever stay too long. Writing my story will take days but please just take this advice. Love her from afar cause she will never change and your self-esteem will be at a zero level.

      Delete
    8. 16:04 exactly. It is really hard for those who have not experienced this level of toxicity to understand.

      Delete
  15. Poster it is well with you oh. Why not get a job no matter how small to take you out of the house or better still learn a skill. I'm not a fan of involving third parties but in your mum's case she needs somebody to talk to her. She's been probably frustrated but I'm not sure I buy the idea of plucking ones privates to curse a child. Better still talk to one of your siblings and go and stay with them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly poster look for a job. Even if it's as a reception or cashier somewhere. Something to take you out everyday and not come back till night.
      Such mothers hardly change. All yiu can do is give them distance. Get your own place when you have the money and go visit her once in a blue-moon.

      Delete
    2. My dear, you can’t solve a problem by avoiding it. Under my comment, someone has just said how her mum acts during omugwo and family visits. If you don’t deal with it, it will affect you somehow. You can’t avoid your mother forever.

      Delete
    3. Talking doesn't solve it. Talking is fodder for their madness. If you know, you know. Best is to avoid their toxicity until there is divine intervention, if ever. They never really change.

      Delete
  16. Your mother is a frustrated witch.... OMG

    ReplyDelete
  17. this was me for a long while with my mum. i told her one day i am not your husband i am your child.i built everything around her and my siblings to the extent i became sad and drepressed because i didnt socialize or mix with others because there was always one family obligation or another that if i didnt fufilas expected she will guilt trip me for it. Then came panic attacks, over thinking, i became regid i was almost void of emotion i had to move out because it was draining me and became too toxic, i didnt leave her because i didnt love her but i needed to help both our mental state and helping her understand boundries. we have a much better relationship now as well because now she understands i have my own life to live.if you can, please move out it might sound harsh but you will be helping her and yourself if anyone complains tell them to freely take your position.

    ReplyDelete
  18. @ Poster your mum is mean!!!!
    How can a mother behave like that to her own biological children.
    Just Speechless 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆..

    To think that she is a prayer warrior
    I pray that God touches her heart for good..
    She needs deliverance
    I pray God fix it for you and your family...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Deliverance with koboko.Deliverance with pigeon nacking😆😆😆😆

      Delete
  19. wow poster, i can totally relate to this. Calling my mum used to give me panic attack, she would scream cry swear, later after much praying i decided to put it in God's hands and also take control. If you let people they would control you, stop waiting for her to change and treat you right. Take charge of your destiny and your feelings. If you want to know how i got over my panic attack please send your email address to Stella. I would be on the lookout. The situation you are in is very TOXIC. Please hear me when i say you have to run and only you can save yourself. Unfortunately it takes time and mental hardwork to be free of this verbal and emotional abuse.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Why do Nigerian parents emotionally and physically abuse children in the name of discipline. Many are damaging the psyche of alot of their kids.
    Alot of them pour their bitterness of divorce and failed relationships on their kids. Did you ask to be born ?
    Poster I have been in your shoes before. I finally moved out but before I did someone taught me something. That it is only who you see that can fight you.
    I was advised to avoid sitting with my mum. When you wake up come out of your room,do your chores,greet her and go back inside your room. When she has left for work you can now move around as you like. When she is back from work,greet her,ask her if there is anything she needs,get it and enter room until next morning.repeat that daily.
    My mother can also curse a dead person awake. She never married after my father died. So maybe it is fraustration of being alone and carrying the load of the home.
    After I got a job I moved in with a relative then later got my place.
    I can NEVER live with my mum. We have the best relationship when you see her once in a while. Living with her is not the best for my psyche. I started getting depressed,it even started affecting me psycologically. She will never say anything good about me. I am lazy , wasteful,don't know how to keep things.
    Meanwhile outsider at work all comment me for my hard work,comment how my house is spotless etc.
    Poster leave that toxic enviroment,go and live with one of your sisters. Once you get a job please leave and have your sanity. Because she is your mother doesn't give her the right to abuse you psycologically and emotionally.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster read this very well 👆. Thank you

      Delete
  21. Please can you just move in with any of your sisters?? Temporarily cos you will soon go for service. When you get there, find your way. Remember that this life is just once, every moment that passes is gone forever.
    The things you will regret the most are the things you did not do.
    If you need a friend though, you may ask Stella for my email...
    ✌🏾️

    ReplyDelete
  22. It is well with you my dear Sister! You're created in the image of God, So no curse can affect your life. talk to your Pastor for help or you seek God through prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hnmn my mom came visiting stayed a few days n want to start telling me what to do n what not I was calm till she started bad mouthing my friends I became angry n told her some home truth sometimes our parents can be annoying this is someone that was not with me while growing up abeg I'm tired of typing she have not called since thhen

    ReplyDelete
  24. I told my mother point blank, ur prayers no dey pass ceiling , my mother tried to block me from attending sch. Unilag, she tried so many things to poison my heart 2wards my father but MBA , e no work, na u chop my money pass yet anytime I give u money I have misfortunes, came back in 2015 got my dad a car( I made a promise to myself to replace everything I meet in that HSE b4 I left) meanwhile dad is blind o. Told this woman to go and get a shop in a prestigious place so I can stock it for her, but she chose to b in OGBETE open market place and b telling all d locals about her children and husband( something my father can't stand) 5children, 2 boys 3gurls , the boys r not doing well at all cos she kept poisoning everyone's heart, Me hard plans of getting her a car but after she must have gotten a shop. This woman went on a cursing spree, y? cos I burnt her old clothes and replaced with over 50rappers just for her to look good o. I have been sending clothes down o, but cos is from me, she will pack it under d bed in her unswept dirty room. Na so I come back to help am do clean up and discard d clothes I knew she wasn't using. My MOTHER took off her clothes raised her breast! Cursed me! Told me I will die of accident and my bones won't b picked, not enough she went naked( took off her top) went to d express all d way back like a 20mins show of shame, with my name in her mouth shouting, cars stopping, pple holding her back for where! Saying I took her clothes to Lagos to use for rituals , that my money is cursed!!!!! She will never enter d car cos I want her blood for my political ambition.. My GOD, e b me like mk ground open make e swallow me. My dad and her has been having serious marital isshs but as young as I was, I knew she loved to over protect( which is damaging). I left house since sec school , during holidays I stay in empty hostel up till my uni days cos her complaints where unbearably! My dear, did it stop me from treating her as a mother? NO. Out of d 5! Am d only one that sends her upkeep on a regular, she cursed me that I won't and will never marry a good husband like my father( my papa na bad man in her opinion) meanwhile in late 2015 , she called me with a very low tone , asked if I was driving or at d road ? I say I dey house o, she said pls I shd forgive her ,bla bla bla, that my immediate elder sis came ard and was cleaning her room, under d bed inside inside inside,that my sister found d new clothes she tot I took to Lagos to use for jazz! My sisters I just weak!!! The tears that ran down my eyes was unexplainably, like relief.... I kuku born pikin last yr, I no gree tell anyone until I brought the child home at 6months. The low key HATE she dishes to my lil son no b here, but d love my father showers me and my child is more than I can ask from any HORSEBAND. My point in this is, pack ur loads and leave that house, do not look back!!!!! She will destroy u emotionally trust me, continue with ur daughter duty but stay far far far away!!!!

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    1. 😳 speechless

      Delete
    2. My sister can you not cut of from this monster of yours because this is not mother. I hope she isn't holding on to your marriage because those curses are too much. Even from your enemy.
      She curses your son????? Which kind of mother is that.
      Can you not cut her off. You do your responsibilities as a daughter from afar.
      Please this is too much. Because someone gave birth to you doesn't give them the right to kill you while being alive.
      I smell something spiritual in her. Please be careful especially because of your son.

      Delete
    3. It is well dear..

      Things are happening ooo..

      Delete
    4. Wow...soo much hate and bitterness in one person

      Delete
    5. My sisters I still dey Enugu. Independence layout precisely, the only thing still keeping me with her and her 4 children is my father. Once he is gone, am gone for LIVE. Any place I die let them bury me there. Pple were shocked at my mothers display, my siblings supported her cos he already poisoned there hearts. I cover my son with d blood of Jesus every night. She no fit do anything!!!!!! Nothing,GOD PASS everything they do have done and about to do to me IJN

      Delete
    6. Hmmmmmm, na wa. Things dey really happen. May God help me to be a good parent to my kids. Not one that would drain their children emotionally.

      Poster, pls just leave that house for now.

      Delete
    7. God bless you for being so strong and continuing to be good to her. I understand you fully.

      Delete
  25. Dear poster, i understand what you are going through perfectly because i have been there, even though my mum never removed hair from her privates to curse us but she has said so much with her mouth that it took the grace of God for my immediate younger brother and i not to commit suicide.
    You need to take your life back, you need to stand up to her and leave that environment for a while.
    Any time she opens her mouth to say negative things to you, reject it immediately and cover yourself with the blood of Jesus. Even if you have to look for a job, go and stay with one of your siblings and work from there.
    Stop involving her in your relationship, if she asks you any question about it, just tell her there is no one until you are ready to bring a man home, let her know you are more focused on your life right now,she will gradually back off.
    When you go for service, make sure you call her regularly and always reassure her that her children loves her but don't go back home, let her miss you for a year that way she will adjust her character.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Not sure about this as i am no doctor, but it's possible your Mum suffers a bipolar disorder due to her passive aggressive tendencies. Today she is nice, next day she is cursing. Also possible its post traumatic stress disorder (ptsd) from her marriage or sth in the past that has been untreated for years. she needs to talk these things out, with a counselor/confidant and is trying to use her kids to fill that gap.

    We don't take mental illness seriously in Nig but these things are there. Young ones, Please avoid mental illness. Find a hobby. Have a career. Make good friends, make good choices. Mind your business. Leave abusive and manipulative people. End friendships that are no longer positive. Forgive. Avoid bitterness and anger. If you see post you don't like, skip. Most internet trolls are heading towards maniac depression tomorrow due to the bitterness they spill today.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Toxic relationship you have there with your Mum.

    Do me a solid, damn all consequences and move far away from her, nothing will happen to you.

    Just give it a try, after NYSC, do not go back home.

    Struggle and get a decent job in the state you are serving in and limit all communications with your Mum to voice calls or IM.

    All the best

    ReplyDelete
  28. where i come from if a mother raises her clothe or go naked to curse her children, it is a terrible thing, not to talk of plucking her pubic hair , my dear find a way to leave and go for deliverance. make her understand after you have gone that you cant stand her negativity. it is well with you.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hmmmmmm.......this one is entitlement mentality. You can't continue to please her and displease yourself. Most mothers that have gone through such would want to be like that, but you have to prove and act like you are a grown up lady. Initially, it might not be easy,but later on you and her will be better for it. So respect her, but also be firm on your decision. You could start by looking for a place to go and spend sometime, because you won't remain in the house forever,so the early you start the better.
    Don't blame her so much, she probably has a lot bottled up in her mind for a long time. And please don't entertain curses from her, reverse them immediately and tell her you don't like insults.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Your mum is a deeply,deeply unhappy woman. She might even want to sacrifice one of her kids happiness so she can have companionship in her old age. I don't mean spiritually o, but one of u would definitely get manipulated enough to stay. That person's relationships won't work, that person won't have a reasonable job per se , I've seen this stuff happen . I really feel sorry for whoever that child would be. Poster u need to get out of that house and start establishing ur independence, so she knows that child won't be you. Run! Run ! Run!. Love ur mum from a distance. I don't believe she's a witch, she's just bitter about her life and the decisions she made and u guys have become her obsession, she sees herself as ur mini Jesus. Girl love ur mum from far....love ur mum but do it from afar for now.. I wish u well.....and everyone telling u those curses won't work,they are lying to you o, except you truly give ur life to Christ, they will over work sef,I've really seen this shit happen first hand..lol, ur mum needs to be taken to a genuine pastor and she also needs to see a psychologist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The curses will not work. Let me go anon on this. My mum is also like this but hers isn't up to this. She is fond fof cursing me at any little provacation. She's a narcissistic mother (Thanks to the BV that opened my eyes to this on one of recent chronicles). I read about this disorder and got to know of the best coping mechanism.
      I'm my mother's scapegoat. I have plenty story to tell about her.
      In summary, my life is better than her golden child/children yet she curses me the most. Doors always open for me, my relationship is better than her golden child's.

      I would have moved out of her house but my place of work is close to the house. I gained a little respect when I stopped eating her food. She thought I was joking when I made that threat. It has been three months now and I have no regret because she has on hold on me. I lock my foodstuff in a big Ghana must go in the room I share with my elder sis. I even caught my mum taking out of my soup one day but I carried my eyes.

      Befire I made this decision, my mother almost killed me with hatred. I was always sick and lean. Was it not last week she told me that I now look fresh and robust. I also noticed that. She later apologized and said that I should start eating from the same pot with her but I said No. People like her don't change. I'm more happy and now at peace. She is not happy with my happiness. All I owe her is my respect, support and love, and not my freedom.

      Delete
  31. I think ur mum suffers from little mental illness, depression and fear of u all leaving her as a result of the divorce.
    I will suggest u convince her DAT u want to visit any of your sisters. When u get there, if possible, pick up a menial job & inform her or learn a skill.
    But Dont return home till service time.
    After service, find ur way... But keep d communication constant, try make her happy in your conversation and agreebw her in all things except it's expedient u disagree, send her money constantly.
    Then, keep praying for her. U can even pray love finds her. Oh yes!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Your mum has angered issues, am sure that is the sure reasons your dad left her. On your own part, stop telling her about your relationship and look for something doing before your service to avoid her. Tell her she is not your creator that her curse will not have effects in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  33. There's no mild way of saying this... Your mom has a toxic personality and that's the reason she's alone and trying her best to drag y'all on the same path with her.
    Understand one thing, she's made her choices and is living the consequences of those choices. Don't allow her scar you lest you live her choices and end up living her life and it starts by you DECIDING to let her go/let her be.
    It isn't wickedness, it's survival

    ReplyDelete
  34. Your mum needs help,maybe you should talk to a pastor she respects. As for you, get out of that environment fast. you may not know the gravity of the toxic environment now,but it will manifest later. As for her curses,fear not. A CURSE WITHOUT A CAUSE CAN NOT STAND. Please move close to God and watch the Holy Spirit heal you. It is well with you

    ReplyDelete
  35. My mum used to be like that, always cursing at the slightest provocation...I couldn’t imagine going back home after Sch, thank God I met my husband and we got married immediately after Sch...thank God oh, I might have been mental by now if I was still in that house. Some mothers are better from afar. Please move out to anywhere you can, find a job, bf you love to make you happy. If you see man that loves and you love him too just marry. Some mothers sha.

    My mum sacrificed a lot too but she will always use that to taunt you like it’s your fault. Frustrating you up and down, fight you , curses, blames etc. I don’t know if we can be so close but we just keep it normal, talk and laugh, but no connection. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her...but God forbid anything that will make me live with her again. It’s very sad my people.

    It’s well dear. Pray for a soul mate that can understand you and love you as well , you will feel better. Because of her frustration, I bonded more with outsiders...I am not close to anyone in my family, I just wanted to be gone and thank God I did. I found a good man...God bless him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lucky you. A lot of people from this kind of setting marry dysfunctional spouses. Thank God that is not the case for you.

      Delete
  36. Tell your mum she is mentally ill.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Thank God some mothers aren't God. Babes, ignore her curses but rebuke them whenever she starts cussing you. Save money during your NYSC and don't return to her house. Get your own apartment and be indepedent. The environment is too toxic and you need to be far way from her to have your peace of mind. You deserve to be happy. You are too young to have HBP and migraine.
    Start counting your days in her house. If you can't wait till Nov, you can arrange with one of your sisters and move in with her for the main time. All you need is to tell your mum that you want to spend few days with your sister. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Stop being scared of curses ,your destiny lies in your hands and not in the hands or mouth of anyone..As Christians we are blessed beyond curses. Anyone who curses you is curses. Any tongue that rises against you even your mom is condemned..You need to stop living in fear. And move out of the house. The environment at home is too toxic for you to strive well. Please and please leave, she has some deep rooted issues and you can't help her in your own state too ....

    ReplyDelete
  39. This is strange. I have not heard of this type of mother from hell before.....WTH.
    Get close to God and always reject all those her curse...
    But I will suggest since you're still waiting for your NYSC, look for a job that will be taking you away from home for now.
    I pray that they will post you to a far state from home....you will be fine dear...

    ReplyDelete
  40. sorry to say but your mother is MAAAADDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Im the story owner.Thanks everyone for all your comments.. thanks Mr T for bringing this story here.... my self esteem is zero... I'm even a very weak person.i don't now how to stand up to her or any other person in this world... sometimes I let conductors take my change because I'm scared to talk to them... all I have in my head are her words; u are selfish lazy can never keep a home.are not qualified for what you want in life. someone mentioned something above about her turning a child into a sacrificial lamb..I'm afraid that's me.. I'm sooo scared of leaving her.i feel she can't cope alone to stay with one of my sis in P.h..just 5 days she started calling &crying.. I couldn't stand it .had to go back to her .. I love her so much& don't even take her actions to heart because she can be very good. She once withdrew her last cash to sort me out in schooschool..just like someone mentioned up,im cold and emotionless,v very rigid because she doesn't let me express feelings but wants me to acknowledge hers... if you come from a good home where parents are togetherand love themselves,you know what you have!! *Tears* Im'talented ,but have lost confidencein doing anything.. that's why I keep my body from men,because I don't have an esteem,i know they would use me for . Pls pray for me.i will take a bold step& leave&update you my new family about it. P.s; locking myself in the room&talking to her is out of it& we once arranged a therapy section for her@a govt centre..she came back&started cursing that it's us that will be mad.i will also leave her out of my relationships although I'm trying to heal before entering one .. thank you all

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Girl, let me tell you what helped and saved me from mental breadown from my mum. YOUTUBE!!!!!!!

      Delete
    2. Put yourself in your mother's shoes, would you be okay raising many children on your own? It can drive a normal person mental. Do you know how many times she fought for you kids while your father was busy jumping around.

      Either take your mother to see a therapist, forgive her and start loving or you run away like you want to. One day, on a mother's day when your mom is no more and you are now a mother, you will be more sympathetic.

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      Delete
    3. Poster. You are not weak. If you are strong enough to write and cry out, then trust you are not weak. It means that you have not accepted this as your fate.

      Find a small job, storekeeper, sales girl anything In Your area that will give you somewhere to go everyday.

      Do not feel guilty, because you have done nothing. She is just a bitter woman, a product of this society that tell women to turn their love to their children.

      If you find yourself believing her curses on you or feelings like she is right about you being a failure, give yourself a very dirty slap.
      It will snap you out of that way of thinking.

      Start with positive affirmations, learn to talk back at her. The next time she insults or tries to curse you, give her very serious warning.

      Tell her that the curses won’t wprk because you have been a good child, and that if she doesn’t change you will leave the house for her. You may be scared, feel guilty after doing this, just go to your room, and calm down.

      No one has the right to your freedom. Claim it back from her. You are not her husband, you are her child, and you deserve to live your life.

      I am available if you need to talk, Stella please pass along the poster’s email if she is up to it.

      I have 4 younger siblings, Dey never born the person parent or not that will make my siblings feel like this. I will come home and del with that person rubbish!

      All you bitter women that are using the “I’m staying for your children” excuse, take note.

      Delete
    4. My dear when you get married won't she be alone. Or you will move her to your matrimonial home. That is swift divorce for you o.
      I have been in your shoes. My mother will call me lazy, dirty, daft, no common sense. Don't know how I would keep a home. She would also call ne a wicked child. That upon all she sacrificed for me she is sure I will make her suffer in old age.
      This is me that is married with a good job. I keep a spotless home. I am handling my home and job well. I send her money monthly. I even bought her a car. After calling me useless she doesn't know how my life in future will be. I am a wicked soul.
      Before marriage as soon as a got a job poster I moved out. And I am my widowed mother only child. Your own mother even had other children
      Forget she will feel lonely. Won't you leave eventually after marriage.
      Poster at a point I lost all confidence in myself and believed I was a failure because of her negative words.
      To have my sanity I had to move out. And I go visit her. Now she respects me. But if she starts on the phone few times. Poster I drop the phone. She will be calling I won't pick again. Till I think I am in good frame to talk.

      Delete
    5. That's where the problem lies. Love is not just about giving material stuff. Every child needs a mother that's emotionally available. That is clearly lacking in your relationship with your mum.

      It's also a classic character traits of Narcissist. They'd touch you with their hand, but never with their soul. They're dead inside. They can never connect with you emotionally.

      Biko, get a hold on yourself and take this walk far away from her. You need to save yourself before trying to save her.

      Delete
    6. Lol @last money. So, my mother who sold all her gold one semester, to clear all our university fees nko? 4 children lived on that money the whole semester, till things picked up. She should kuku fry us and eat now ba? At the time she wasn't working and had just started her edu-consulting biz. So there was no money anytime soon.
      Stop that nonsense biko!! She only did her duty as a mother, and God will reward her through your success. Get up and leave!! Her calls are blackmailing you. She sef na manipulator. Lol

      Delete
    7. Poster your mum is mentally ill, she is suffering from a personality disorder, NARCISSISTIC or BORDERLINE PD. Probably worsened by the situation with your dad. She needs to see a therapist, but from experience people like this don't change, I can relate just a bit because my mum has a type A personality, always quick to shout and scream and wants things done her way. I will advice you to leave that environment! Please take this advice, when she cries visit her for the weekend but return thats the only way you can cope and get your sanity back, most of them will never accept or realise they have a problem let alone get help. So it will be very difficult if not impossible for her to change but try your best. Get her a help to keep her company. Your mother has built her whole world around you and want to control your life so you are with her forever she doeant want to be alone. You have your own life to live. As for the curses rebuke them but leave that house please. So you don't become toxic like her. Visit her often your relationship will be better. If possible get a job far way maybe after service and tell her, you have your own life to live, career to build, make new friends try to have some fun yourself, be happy. In the morning look at the mirror and say to yourself I am beautiful, I'm hardworking, intelligent, I deserve to be love and be loved, I deserve to be happy and live my life. Don't feel guilty about leaving, help her as much but you deserve to have a life. She will try to emotionally blackmail you and even curse you, but my dear, dont bulge. Its well. Mental issues are usually swept under the carpet and theres always a ripple effect. Its well. Be strong you are not alone, some mums act this way, its not new. Always know that.

      Delete
    8. Poster your mum is mentally ill, she is suffering from a personality disorder, NARCISSISTIC or BORDERLINE PD. Probably worsened by the situation with your dad. She needs to see a therapist, but from experience people like this don't change, I can relate just a bit because my mum has a type A personality, always quick to shout and scream and wants things done her way. I will advice you to leave that environment! Please take this advice, when she cries visit her for the weekend but return thats the only way you can cope and get your sanity back, most of them will never accept or realise they have a problem let alone get help. So it will be very difficult if not impossible for her to change but try your best. Get her a help to keep her company. Your mother has built her whole world around you and want to control your life so you are with her forever she doeant want to be alone. You have your own life to live. As for the curses rebuke them but leave that house please. So you don't become toxic like her. Visit her often your relationship will be better. If possible get a job far way maybe after service and tell her, you have your own life to live, career to build, make new friends try to have some fun yourself, be happy. In the morning look at the mirror and say to yourself I am beautiful, I'm hardworking, intelligent, I deserve to be love and be loved, I deserve to be happy and live my life. Don't feel guilty about leaving, help her as much but you deserve to have a life. She will try to emotionally blackmail you and even curse you, but my dear, dont bulge. Its well. Mental issues are usually swept under the carpet and theres always a ripple effect. Its well. Be strong you are not alone, some mums act this way, its not new. Always know that.

      Delete
  42. Firstly, I advise women to always remarry but you wicked people always tell womem to raise their children and focus all the love on them forgetting their own happiness.

    Why will you blame your mother and exonerate your father? It is always the present parent that is to be blamed but the absent parent is seen as a hero.

    Your mother sacrificed her happiness for you and your siblings and she couldn't even get the love back in the form she wanted. When you were smaller, if she wanted to leave you people and remarry, the world will call her wicked. Now the children she raised are running away from her. Yes she is not okay but would you raise your children on your own and be okay. Isn't that the reason they term single mothers bitter? Your mother is human, flesh and blood, who had needs, but had to be a father and mother to you.

    I keep telling women, nothing can replace the love of a companionship, not your children. Your daughter will grow and fall in love, your sons will grow and fall in love. What do you have left? Loneliness and your grandchildren which you are now an unappointed nannies to. Women have vaginas, they love to be held and shagged. If you disregard all, you will end up bitter and still not be a wholesome mother to your children. While making sacrifices, remember your needs. If reverse was the case, this children will not sacrifice their love or happiness for you. That's why we have bitter mother in laws in the society because they have given all and expect their sons to love them the way their husband should have.

    Poster, if your mother can sacrifice her life for you, you can as well endure for few years before you marry and run from her.

    KING XOXO MYSTERY

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    Replies
    1. XO you won't understand. She can love and help her mother from afar. This thing is a viscious cycle that poster needs to break.
      I have a grandmother even worse,she passed the aggression to her female kids and they inturn are showing us the children. Because we are educated we understand it is a problem and I needed to move out so I don't pass it to my kids.
      Since I left home it even preserved the relationship. We talk almost daily. Do visits etc. But one's the madness starts I cut off.
      There was a day I got so annoyed with my mum. She was beating me cos of plate washing at 25. I almost strike her back. Intact I tore her cloth. After that experience my fiance rented me a place. That if you continue to live like this your relationship will be permanently severed.
      Poster living away is the best for a sanity. She can visit weekends .
      That she suffered for her children doesn't mean she should damage them. Them inturn damage their children
      Once I want to curse at my kids I just caution myself. I must break this chain of aggression.

      Delete
    2. And how are you sure it isn't the womans' personality that drove the man who away.

      I'm also wondering what you mean by " how can you raise your child alone and be okay". For the records, my dad is alive till date and my mother gone, but that woman raised us, seven of us singlehandedly. My father lived in the same house with us but was totally absent in our lives. No emotional support, financial, spiritual...as in not a single contribution to our lives. He stopped caring at the time I got into JSS1.

      But here we are now, all turned out fine. My mother was not anywhere near being abusive or toxic. She took it all in good stride. She knew she was responsible for us, as we dint ask to born nd she embraced her God who always came through for her.

      Why this story? Being a single mum isn't an excuse to damage your children. Advising her to endure is so insensitive. Or did you miss the part where she wrote she's depressed and already delaying with anxiety, BP and the rest.

      I'd suggest you research on Narcissisitic family dynamics to understand that this goes beyond what a you make it out to be.
      She's not her mothers' property and shouldn't be made to lay her life for her (mothers) happiness. You don't build and destroy at the same time. That's what this mother is doing.

      Delete
    3. What the hell are you on about? Did anyone prevent her mom from remarrying? Please stop with the whole your mother sacrificed her life for you nonsense...she brought those kids into the world and it was her responsibility to care for them. Its pitiful that you dont see how your ignorant comments re-echo the words of abuse she has heard all her life. Besides, there are many widows that raised their kids and have remained single yet don't curse their kids. Poster please disregard this comment.

      Delete
    4. Xoxo you made sense but the children were not asked to be born and then again that is the reason I feel pity for people who think children give happiness,most times Children will never be ready to sacrifice much for you so in life try to make yourself happy and if you are trying to conceive don't be so hard on yourself,allow God to bless you instead of doing hideous things to get kids and in the end feel bitter when they abandon you.let us all learn to pursue our dreams and make ourselves happy.

      Delete
  43. Poster, what you need now is to find a way around this issue. You're the only left and if you abandoned her alone her bitterness will skyrocket.
    Remember, she's your mother even with all the baggage. Both of you are there alone. Come here, appreciate her for all her sacrifice and love. As you're doing that be rubbing her palm. Tell her you love her so much and can give your eye for her. Please be real and serious while on it.
    By the time you got her attention, kneel down and apologize to her to forgive you and your siblings in any way you people offended her unknowingly. Then,ask her to tell you why. She's not happy and how you can assist. Listen attentively and promise her there would be a positive change.
    Please tell your sisters to always send her money monthly even if she's rich.
    Also, look for her mumu bottom and play. You will be shocked at her turnaround.
    Avoid exchange of words and issues with her. When you woke up to pray, always tell her to pray for you.
    In all be very patient and tolerant. With her. My dear,God will restore peace and understanding in your family.

    ReplyDelete
  44. poster,,maybe i'll be telling you what you've already been told...
    first,your mum needs help but we are in Nigeria...
    you need help too.
    you've been completely derobed of any self esteem you had.
    i grew up parented by only my mum...i never even met my dad..as i growing girl child in a crazy environment,,i wanted closure so bad,,,,i went to the best schools my mum could afford but never belonging because i was managing emotionally and physically...somehow i understood early that my mum gave me the best she could afford just to prove to my dad who was watching from a distance that she could hold up without him...as a result,i had a very shaky and rough childhood....she was never there for me...she replace her presence with material things,,saying i was spoilt as a child will be making the story mild....i understood the situation i was in early and took up the challenge.
    when she wants to manipulate me,,i simply built a world for myself where her words couldnt survive.....am a 24 years old girl,am not old,,,this is to tell you that you can pick up the shreds of whats left and mend yourself.....am not a psych,,,but should you like to reach out,,,i'll be pleased to offer the little assistance i can.... you can call 08029382792

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are an ungrateful child.

      Dear single mothers, are you reading this? At the end of the day, after you have made all the sacrifices, they will tell you what you did wrong.

      How do you expect her to give you same love a married woman with a loving husband will? If she works from morning till night, she will only have little time for you. Be grateful and start building your self confidence and stop blaming your mom.

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      Delete
    2. are you serious? @ 17:39. you need mental evaluation if you are. you for one have no business having kids if you are going to mentally and emotionally abuse your kids in the name of motherhood

      Delete
    3. 17:16 don't listen to XO. You are not ungrateful. I admire you for coping. Keep being positive. It shall be well with you by God's grace.

      Delete
  45. Chill till you are posted for service, I pray they post you far away from home, that will be your escape route

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  46. They say, a causeless curse cannot stand, albeit if a mother curses u cos of what u Did to her, it will stand,I was in primary school, our neighbour ,a woman toiled day n night n trained her kids,we went to uni the same year,before they gained admission, they always disrespect their mom,she talks, they talk back, all manner of mischief, this woman would cry all day some days, one day I was outside drying clothes when I heard her crying and said 'eric u will not die well', solomon, you will not die well, belema,u will suffer, the last born was saying mommy sorry, forgive them, I dunno what they did,14yrs later Eric was shot by d army,buried in a mass grave, 3yrs after Solomon was brushing his teeth, belema use cutlass on his head,maybe they had a beef, I saw that one live, he held a flap of his skull n ran out with blood shouting, he fell inside d gutter,they rushed him to prime, he died due to blood loss,till today belema is nowhere to be found, the last born sold off their house ,took d mom to Albania..till date.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just a horrible story. Super story come here ooo. But seriously the difference I see here is that the children were mean to their mom. But who is to say she didn't cause it by spoiling them as kids? Besides what has she gained now that her curses have come to pass? She should have prayed for them and blessed them, possibly they may have changed, seen the error of their ways and blessed her in return. What if something happens to the only child left? Some children are prodigal but can find their way back.

      Delete
  47. I've read comments here saying I'm ungrateful.okay maybe..but in my 23 years ,I've never talked back at her.God forbid I disrespect her.. whether I'm wrong or not,i kneel down to beg her if she's angry,even if we are on the main road. I run her business with her.my elder sister sends our rent & takes care of food. Now things are better she doesn't lack anything.i only wrote here to get opinions...trust me I've tried.. one day I attempted suicide ( mixed some concotions I won't like to mention) I was about taking it when she called. No aunties or uncle's.. they all hate our progress. I'm asking what to do because I love her and don't want to hurt her. XoXo mystery,i wish you could understand.the curses are too much..I know I'm not perfect but God help me. Thanks once again

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    Replies
    1. My dear please disregard everything XOXO said. That is another fraustrated bitter bv so she has to support her type.
      I REPEAT DISREGARD WHAT XOXO SAID.
      I have walked in your shoes and the only thing that helped me was getting a job ,moving out and being financially responsible for myself.
      I even send my mother money. Our relationship is the best it has ever been. Why,,because there is now "respect". I go visit once in a while and do my duties as a daughrer.
      If you don't break loose you will repeat this cycle with your own kids.

      Delete
  48. Anon 17:39,, i could have said some very harsh words to you but i realise you too need help, so i'll just shelve it.......
    let me educate you, marriage is not for just having kids,if you are not ready for everything that comes with marriage then remain single.
    until a child can fend for his/herself,,,he or she remains the primary responsibility of the parent(s).
    don't ever make the mistake of making your child feel that you are doing him/her a favour by providing....should things go bad,dont make that child feel that he/she owes his/she existence to you.....
    until you've been ther,,you'll not know what it feels like

    ReplyDelete
  49. There are many happy and fulfilled single mothers. That a man left you should not be the end of the world. I think we need to change that depressive narrative of single Mums being bitter women. The society expects you to be sad and lonely but no, you don't have to be. Live a balanced life - spiritual, emotional, mental, physical.. How?

    1. Build strong friendships - start in your 20s to build good supportive network. so that when men do their stuff/break your heart you have trustworthy strong friends to support and cheer you. Every adult needs a good friend or two. But be a friend also to your bffs.

    2. Find a hobby. Many Nigerian adults don't have a hobby and that's so shocking. Swimming. Traveling. Reading. History. Documentaries. Gym. Just pick anything and love. Some people have turned hobby into careers later in life.

    3. Have a career - Can't even stress this one. Find a career, build it, mould it, work hard, watch it grow. AS an adult, you should NOT be dependent on another adult.

    4. If you find love & marriage, yay, beautiful. If you don't keep living.

    That's why women like Toke Makinwa, Genevieve Nnnaji are so beautifully unique. They did this all - strong career, strong network of trustworthy friends, hobbies, and living a beautiful life.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Poster. It's unfortunate you have a narcissistic mother. It's a common problem than most people realize. Narcs always have difficult toxic relationships with their closest ones and often leave them feeling broken, empty, bitter and drained. Google it and read up all you can so you can be informed as to how to manage your relationship with her in a HEALTHY way for you.
    Knowledge is power. NARCISSISM is real people. Ever since I educated myself about it, I've become more aware and quick to recognize it in people and I see key symptoms of it many of the chronicles I read here.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Your mum needs help. She is emotionally drained and she is taken it on you the children knowingly or unknowingly. Talk to your siblings and get a psychologist counselor for her. My mum was similar to her because she single handedly raised five of us - all girls.

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  52. A curse less curse will never stand.Move out of the house and God would be there for you.Your mother is a self centered woman.

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  53. Poster lastly I will say please be determined not to repeat the cycle of abuse with your own kids. It MUST end with her. That is why you must make sure you help yourself. Don't worry all will be well by God's grace.

    ReplyDelete

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