MARRIED BUT PREGNANT FOR EX BOYFRIEND
Stella please help me post this maybe inside chronicles so that BVs can advise.
One evening, while returning from work, I decided to stop at the junction to buy some banana. When I got to the stand, I met the seller, a young lady attending to a pregnant woman. They were haggling over the price, so I stepped aside to wait for them to finish.
I overheard that the price difference was just ₦300. The pregnant woman was pleading with the seller, asking if she couldn’t just dash her unborn child the banana. They kept going back and forth, so I stepped in and told the seller to give her the banana, and I’d make up the balance. The pregnant woman was so grateful and left with the fruit. I bought mine and went on my way.
A few days later, the fruit seller rushed to me, saying the pregnant woman had been looking for me. She came back asking if the seller knew where I lived because she wanted to see me urgently. She had even returned a few times, hoping to meet me there.
Honestly, my heart skipped. Different thoughts ran through my head. I began to wonder if I had unknowingly done something wrong. This is Naija, you know how things can be. What if their pastor told her I bewitched the baby or something?
Anyway, I told the fruit seller to let her know I’d be passing by around 6 p.m. the next day, so she could wait for me then. Truth is, I’ve always carried myself a certain way in that area, and I don’t want people getting too familiar. I’m managing my life quietly, and I don’t want anything to reduce my “steeze.”
Eventually, I met up with her. After confirming that everything was okay and I wasn’t in any danger, I agreed to take her to my house. There, she finally opened up to me.
According to her, she’s been married for nine years and had been trying to conceive. They’d been trusting God. At some point, her husband confessed that he had once been diagnosed with low sperm count and had undergone both medical and traditional (agbo) treatments. He assured her he was now fine.
Being young and naive, she started to believe the problem must be from her side. She was married off in her early and now in her late 20s. Later on, things got worse with her husband, and she moved back to her father’s house. After a few months there, she reconnected with her childhood boyfriend, and they started dating.
After some time, they became intimate. A couple of months into that relationship, her husband and family came back, begging her to return. Initially, she refused, but pressure from her parents and siblings made her go back.
Two months after returning to her husband, she discovered she was pregnant. At first, she didn’t take it seriously since she had never been pregnant before and had grown tired of checking. But to her surprise, it turned out she was already four months pregnant, according to the antenatal, meaning the pregnancy likely happened while she was with her childhood boyfriend. (She has stayed with with her husband for only 2 months)
Now she is 6 months gone (but 4 months according to her husband's calculator).
She has been carrying this secret alone. Her husband doesn’t know, and she hasn’t told anyone until now.
She said she came to me because she believes I’m the only person she can trust, and that her secret would be safe with me. She said everyone in the area respects me.
I was honestly speechless.
The first thing I asked was whether she had done a proper scan to confirm the gestational age. She said no, because if she asks her husband for the money, he’d want to see the result, and she doesn’t want to risk that.
So, I gave her the money to go and do the scan. I figured that would buy me some time to come here and ask for advice on how to help her navigate this situation.
Please, what should I tell her?
The baby is obviously for he boyfriend...She should move out of her husbands house and end that marriage......The next step is to let the owner of the pregnancy know and leave open room for DNA.....She cannot continue staying with her husband and pass on someone else's child to him oh...tell her that clearly.........
Hmmmm!
ReplyDeleteWhy do some people like to complicate things, she wasnt officially divorced and she couldnt protect herself as she cant do without being intimate within few months of separation.
She should confess to her husband oo, if he truly loves her, he might accept the child and if not she should inform the owner and move on.
Safe delivery to her.
That marriage is not more important than the child she has been looking for.
DeletePotter go home and tell your parents, you will be surprised to see the massive support you’ll get from them.
The .an knew he was shooting blanks,he would accept the pregnancy to remove shame from himself. It's left for her to stay or go. Hope the original father dose not come and claim the child later.
DeleteShe would rather die than take that advice
ReplyDeleteShe can’t afford an ordinary scan and she is getting ready to be a mother? You don buy market o. I hope you are ready to sit on a long thing with her?
DeleteEven you can smell what’s cooking.
Look at you
ReplyDeleteYou don’t know when trouble is coming
The Bible says the wise sees trouble afar off and hide
Look at you
Tell that girl or woman to stop coming to your house
Warn her seriously
Let her go to her mother,her father or uncle whoever to report but leave you alone
Which advise do you want to give?
Adviser Nowamagbe
Tomorrow she will tell people you are aware,then you will be looking for English to exonerate yourself
It’s your words against her
You see that your Steeze
Lol they wan help you cut am down
They dug hole,you come and want to fall inside
You paid for banana then all of a sudden you are qualified for lifelong secret
You see that her marriage ba
When her husband know that the baby doesn’t belong to him ehn
It’s you they will use to settle
Are you married?
Do you have children?
Hmm you see that girl let today be the last day she go near your house
Warn am
Shout if you have to
Look at you and look at trouble
If you are not careful
All these things Stella Dey teach people for this blog
Una no Dey hear
anonymous 15:10 - this is the best advice!
DeleteOriginal Poster - if you are wise you will exercise caution and put this woman, her pregnancy and problems at arm's length.
Please do not give her any advice and exercise wisdom/caution in giving her any more money.
A woman who is a stranger, who you have never seen before in the area, she knows about you, but you do not know about her, abeg exercise caution, it is better you stay away.
You are a wise somebody. OP, see this advice above ehn, flesh and blood has not revealed it o. Take this advice 100% and mind your business.
DeleteVery sound advise. Poster, heed to this if you want to save yourself future embarrassment
DeletePoster, are you sure you are not the one?
ReplyDeleteHow come a stranger felt so comfortable to the extent of opening up to you about something as serious as that? You even took her to your house, just like that?
Anyway, tell her to go to her parent's, tell them the truth. They will know what to do from there.
Studies have shown that it is Easier to confess to Strangers than Love ones , So Yeah i get that.
DeleteHer Parents is in the Best Position to Advise her
Let her do the scan and let the husband know, either directly or indirectly via the medical personnel, the gestational age of the patient. That way he can decide to either come to terms with the pregnancy and her infidelity or live in denial and pretend the pregnancy is his.
ReplyDeletePublic Notice to ask sexual philanderers,: CONDOMS ARE SOME OF THE CHEAPEST PRODUCTS IN NIGERIA. Stop sending chronicles #150 would've solved.
Move back to her parent's house and inform the husband from there.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, thank you for your altruism however, please be very careful about your involvement in this matter....I would have suggested you met her in a public place and offer whatever help you have to render to her.....
Please this is a sensitive matter and don't allow people to point fingers at you as the co-conspirator to this lady's DNA scam.....If I were you, I would have paid the hospital or lab directly for the scan so you are certain that you will get an authentic pregnancy result & the money won't be used for something else......
Once you are done advising her, kindly step away completely and be careful on how you let people into your space......Encourage her to discuss with her trusted family member or counsellor going forward on whatever decision....
You can help people from a distance; it doesn't mean you are not kind...
All the best....
Dicey situation here and going with the Bible judgment, she should be divorced by her husband for committing adultery. Just like the red pen above, I will also add that she let her family know first and being accompanied by them to inform the husband. It's then left for the man to decide his reaction.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is that, the marriage is good as gone. It's better she move on now because that marriage won't remain the same again. That singular act will haunt her in that marriage.
She's married and still opened legs for a childhood friend(ex). This is so cheap if I must say. Even if she was separated at the time it still doesn't justified this shameless act. if he ever forgives her, there's possibility the ex will still be chopping her whenever he wishes. He did before and he will do it again. So it's better she leave immediately.
© TEEJAY
First off, personally I think this her closeness to you feels weird. Be careful.
ReplyDeleteNow, back to the chronicle, it's obvious that the pregnancy isn't her husband's, judging from the gestational span stated in your story.
In whatever she decides to do, she shouldn't pin someone else's baby on her hubby.
She should leave ASAP....
ReplyDeletePoster pls. Follow Stella advice and make sure you stay away from her if you wish to help her, do that from afar before somebody go tell the husband that they have been seeing his wife with you and everything get more complicated and you see that your steez will reduce to zero
ReplyDeleteIn this situation you just have be blunt. Tell her the truth, if she listens fine, but if she doesn't, it is left to her. You'll know you have done your own part.
ReplyDeleteShe shouldn't have gone back since she's already involved with someone else, she made everything complicated by going back. I will advise she tell her parents the truth and let them call the husband and break the new to him but she should pack her bag immediately. I pray the ex takes up the responsibility of the pregnancy
ReplyDeleteYou brought a stranger to your home
ReplyDeleteDONT DO THAT AGAIN
Chai! Abasi!!!
ReplyDeleteThunder has finally located and arranged who to strike!
OP did you say steeze? You get steeze? Your village people have dialled your number abi? So you believed the cock and bull story that lady told you huh? You even gave her money to go and do scan. As per what? Generational helper that you are abi?
When the husband inevitably finds out and starts raging how are you sure she won't rope you in? What explanation will you have for giving a pregnant woman money to solve her issue when the husband is very much alive.
If hands get pointed at you tomorrow for being responsible for her pregnancy how will you extricate yourself?
Cut yourself off from that woman! You owe her nothing and neither does her cheating on her husband concern you in anyway! Avoid that woman o!!! Because the next chronicle wey you go post na from prison.
If you like dey there dey mumu yourself.
It’s really heartbreaking to see what society has become. She should have been honest with her husband especially since he already knows he can't father a child.
ReplyDeleteIf her childhood friend or ex is indeed the father, he might be aware of it but could be waiting for the right moment to step in after the baby is born unless, of course, he lacks a sense of responsibility. This entire situation is tangled, but honesty from the start could have saved a lot of pain for everyone involved.
Follow Stella's advice.
ReplyDeleteIn addition, if you're a man, please she shouldn't come to your house again. Talk by the road side, eatery etc but not your house.
Secondly, know that, she's invariably telling you to shoulder her responsibility. That's your choice to decide.
Since you can't verify the authenticity of her claims, please be careful. Make husband and wife no set you up
I don’t believe a woman with such a secret will casually tell a stranger, she wants to get you emotionally attached to her and then bill you
ReplyDeletethe truth is that she is pregnant for her ex and not for her husband since she is 6 months gone while she has been with her husband for just two months. She should let her husband know he is not the father and go for medical help.
ReplyDeletePoster, becareful! Let not your good turn to evil for you. Tell that woman you have no advice and cut that friendship. Let her husband not accuse you that, she was impregnated in your house and your house was where she was meeting the boyfriend when things go south.
ReplyDeleteWorst part is allowing her husband to sleep with her while she’s pregnant with another man’s baby. People don’t know that if some curse no work for mama e go work for pikin.
ReplyDeleteAs far as I am concerned, that girl came to scam you cos how in the world would you see a total stranger and open up your innermost secret?? Watch out after this scan, she would still come up with more stories to extort you. You made the huge mistake of bringing her into your personal space. As you have helped her with the scan, let her keep away cos tomorrow she might turn on you and say you were the one that advised her and even supported her financially. I do not believe her story!! Point blank and period!
ReplyDeleteTotal scam
DeleteSaviour complex makes us fall for these things
She should give the baby to the owner.
ReplyDeleteLet her leave the house but must let her childhood friend knows first and see whether he can take responsibility since she didn't tell us whether the friend is also married .If he is not fine but if he is married there is problem
ReplyDeleteThis is none of your business. Please ask her to go ask for advise in her family house. And record the conversation for the day they will say you were the one helping her.
ReplyDeleteTell her to follow Stella's advice.
ReplyDeleteShe should invite you and some other family members on both sides to help tell her husband about the pregnancy, and then hope for forgiveness.
ReplyDelete"To err is human but to forgive is divine."
Sometimes ppl just need someone to unburden their souls to. Not everyone can afford to pay for counselling so sometimes they look to others for that. I have always attracted troubled ppl who want to just talk about their worries, since I was a child, grown azz adult ppl would seek me out to talk about their worries, even things I had no business hearing about for my age.
ReplyDeletePoster, please encourage this young woman to register with an agency or charity that is focused on women’s affairs. You can even research one for her. You are not equipped to handle this situation, it is complex and you are just a woman buying from a vendor at the junction. How can you do findings in few hours to know if someone is safe to bring home? You are naive.
let her open up to her husband after all she has nothing to loose. abi the husband has low sperm count. he might even tell her to keep the baby for them. if he refuse, she should quietly leave her husband's house and face her life. it's not her fault. she should not die childless because of some one else wahala
ReplyDeleteThe lady across my shop fries yam and potatoes
ReplyDelete3 days ago she asked her children to come tell me she wants to eat bread
I send my staff to go buy bread for her ,big loaf
Yesterdays she came to my office to tell me that she was given quit notice in her house and she’s looking for accommodation,I told her the woman that comes to clean for me at home just got a batcher space,I will ask her cost and sort it out for her.
Same yesterday I had something in my office that was of value she asked for it,I contemplated giving her after she left,add rice and beans as I always do to gift her when
Today my staff crossed over to buy her lunch she sent her to tell me when she gets back to the office that her children don’t have books for school
Me:::Lol go and tell her that I’m busy this period,I won’t have time to look for the accommodation. Go sort it out yourself
About the books,i don’t know anything about that
Well ladies and gentlemen I will gladly answer a bad person because plus the accommodation plus everything I no do again
Imagine
DeleteSome women sef
Poster, tell her to go and open up to her parents
Poster avoid that woman by all cost
ReplyDeleteI feel she is bad news
I don't know why i don't believe this 3rd party narration scope. Anyway to the main issue, she shouldn't have been that careless when she knew it was just separation and not proper divorce. The deed has been done but she shouldn't continue with this deceit, it's clear the pregnancy doesn't belong to the husband so she should summon up courage and let him know. To be on the safe side she should move back to her parents', explain herself and as elders they'll know how to go about breaking the news to the husband. I hope the owner of the pregnancy will accept responsibility. I wish her all the best.
ReplyDeleteLol, there’s no kind of chronicle one would not read on SDK...
ReplyDeleteSometimes na laugh dey first hold person before the sense go land finish - I don laff taya here. Life no dey warn before e throw test, but you suppose wise up early, to balance your lane. E get some matter wey no be your calling at all.
And this interplay is one of such - it is wearing a wedding gown to a bikini party. One of such suspicious crossroads where a banana gift spirals into a full-blown moral storm. Be wise, my dear - don’t let someone else’s secret detonate your own peace into an 'had I known'. You've been dragged into a ticking emotional time bomb wearing a smile and a belly bump.
Compassion is good, but don’t confuse it with co-parenting the consequences your class-act might bring your way. Advise her firmly to own her truth with her family and face her choices squarely. And severe ties, completely. With the way Nigeria is now, you are acting under the illusion of naivety. Regrettably, that your so-called steeze is not steezing. Where is your first resort - street smart?
Holding on to silence is not protection; it's self-deception covered in guilt. And you? Don’t play saviour in a script you didn’t write but are keen to produce - step back, or you’ll end up an unwilling character or villain in a scandal no banana stand can sweeten even in its over-ripened state. This isn’t just gist - it’s in so many ways life-altering, so borrow the brain of a sensible man and tread like a man who guards his shadow in the sun.
I repeat, stay kind, but stay distant. No let sympathy drag you go where sense dey warn you not to enter. Na from clap wey dance dey start.
You Guys Just Meet And She Open Her Secret To You..
ReplyDeleteWow You Must Be A Physical Angel ooo..
Abeg Just Tell Her To Move To Her Parents House ..
When She Get There Let Her Sort Herself Out..
Wishing Her Save Delivery...🙏
Hello iya Boys
Get ready to me seen her in your doorstep anytime anydate, the reason she said she wants to come to your house.... the story might be true or lie.
ReplyDeleteThe most important tin stay far from her.
Follow Stella's advice,I beg you.it may seem difficult at first, but later she will be glad she told the truth.living a lie will rob her of peace of mind, allowing the devil take charge of her destiny.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you giving her money ,mumu? You even showed her your house.
ReplyDeleteNa you go pay that baby bill till the end.
Let everybody go to where they bathed and take their clothes o.