Stella please post, I need the advice.
How can a Pastor's wife help her hubby to overcome his attraction to a church member?
He behaves awkwardly around her like a lovestruck teenager, always wanting to be around her. We are both middle age. He's a wonderful father and has never been unfaithful for once. I trust him but I'm jealous cos she's younger than hubby and I. Pls how do I help him overcome his attraction to the lady.
My Pastor hubby has never cheated. I'm not scared of him cheating on me with the lady becos I know he will never act on his attraction to her.
The lady in question is also married, younger and very pretty. Cool, calm, elegant, well put together and always on her lane.
I just need advice on how to help him overcome his attraction to the lady.
My Pastor hubby has never cheated. I'm not scared of him cheating on me with the lady becos I know he will never act on his attraction to her.
The lady in question is also married, younger and very pretty. Cool, calm, elegant, well put together and always on her lane.
I just need advice on how to help him overcome his attraction to the lady.
He does not need your help, please leave him alone and go and work on your jealousy....
Watch her and find out if she may be treating him with respect and love.Try to be cool,calm and elegant....
Since you say that you trust him and he will not cheat, then let him be and work on yourself.
Hmmm. Nigerian wives!
ReplyDeleteHi, if the church is on the mainland and they moved to their permanent site in the last 18 months, then you are probably referring to my wife. You have my number and we need to talk, when you call, just tell me you are following up on cell. I will figure it out.
DeleteJobless housewife ,were you the one helping him about lust or attraction before he married you ?No you are with him nobody will breathe again please you need to work on insecurity
ReplyDeleteHei! Haba ! To both you Stella and some of my fellow commenters.
DeleteHow did you conclude from just this right up that this poster is jobless. If anything, she sounds emotionally intelligent. Rather than castigate the lady in question, she boldly listed her attributes. Only a woman sure of herself can most times praise and extol another woman.
You all need to understand that sometimes jealousy esp in this context is not a negative emotion, she is not fighting a co wife, or nursing a vicious attack on a human, she is in her right to feel a normal human emotion, when something is someone you love stands the chance to act out f character, esp when it is beyond you sphere of direct control as it is 3 thinking adults that are involved here and the subject in question is her husband.
She doesn't need to be a pick me, or a jobless house wife to discern unchecked danger or want to protect her home, or want is lawfully hers. Remember it's her husband.
Then Stella, how do you imply from her writeup, she is not respecting and showing her husband love, to warrant her checking how the other lady is treating her husband. Let's not forget many woman, treat their pastors with so much reverence, even when not respecting their own husband as much as they do their pastors.. Ah! This your advice is completely off.
Poster I know you must have spoken to your spouse severally, if this is worthy of writing Stella, however speak to him in depth again, letting him know how you feel and the dangers he will soon bring upon his family, him self and church. Afterwards just let him be. Sometimes it's ok to leave a child to actually put his hand inside fire and get burned, after several warning. Then and only then would that child stay away from fire.
Pls forgive all typo errors above.
Delete@Anon 19:24
DeleteWho are you? You sound extremely intelligent. Your thoughts are well put together, riddle with genuine empathy and sensitivity.
Been long I read something of this fashion. I'm blown again. 👍 Kudos.
Jobless housewife ,were you the one helping him about lust or attraction before he married you ?No you are with him nobody will breathe again please you need to work on insecurity
ReplyDeleteI agree with SDK. Poster please work on yourself and deal with the jealousy. It is well with you.
ReplyDeleteMadam you are very much scared own it. He has never cheated you trust him yen yen yen, yet you’re here writing chronicle ontop person wey you trust. Self deceit
ReplyDeleteMy dear sister, you’re handling this with such grace and wisdom. Your husband is human before being a pastor, and attraction can happen, what matters is how it’s managed. Don’t confront or shame him; instead, pray for him sincerely and keep communication open. Let him feel your love and support, not suspicion.
ReplyDeleteFocus on strengthening your bond, spend time together, laugh, and remind him of the love you share. Don’t compare yourself with the lady; your calm confidence and maturity are your strength. With prayer, patience, and wisdom, this phase will pass. Stand by him as his partner and prayer cover, and your marriage will come out even stronger.
Smh. Try and get busy. It really helps. 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteUnderstanding wife. Ku ise ma 🙌
ReplyDeleteUnderstanding wife. Ku ise ma 🙌
ReplyDeletePoster, I think I understand how you feel. I was also once in a similar situation.
ReplyDeleteMy husband used to smile sheepishly whenever he was talking with one married lady like that. I didn't like that at all, even though I knew he wasn't going to do anything with the lady. Someone else even noticed it back then and asked me about it.
Anyway the situation stopped when the lady tried to play smart during a business transaction they had. I was secretly happy when that happened. 😀
My advice? Keep praying for your husband and your family.
😂😂@ "smile sheepishly"
DeleteThe mystery of iniquity.
Tell your husband what you just told us in a very rational way and mature way. Let her also know that you noticed what she doing. They both will stop because it has come out in the open.
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY
DeleteComprehension is key. Read it again, slowly this time
DeletePoster the way you vouch for your pastor husband need to be studied. Overcoming how he feels about the lady is a decision he has to make by himself.
ReplyDeleteTRUTH
DeleteI agree with you discussing it with him. Be open and don't take it too far, you are human and it understandably. Stella is also human, hence her opinion should not tear you or demoralize you ....Ignore those who are castigatng you as well, work on your confidence too, do not ever underestimate the power of prayer, it really works..pour your heart to God and what you want him to do for you in this case particularly. I wish you well!
DeleteMany things going on age, beauty, his apparent joy when he’s around her. Perhaps you yearn for your relationship with him to be like that. Perhaps you desire him to spark when he is around you. I do not think marriage stops attraction, we will always be attracted to ppl but we will not automatically be in love with those we find attraction with, nor will be necessarily see them beyond a moment’s recognition. Maybe the romance is no longer part of your marriage, maybe you long to laugh together like you once did when you first met.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this woman’s presence is showing you all that you no longer have. The question is, how do you get it back? Too often couple stop having fun, stop dating, put sex on the back burner, stop being each other’s strongest supporter and best friend. They get into a system that works but lacks the deep fulfillment in their soul. They celebrate birthdays, anniversaries instead of celebrating every day of life that they get to have together. They don’t even give each other nightly kisses just before they settle down for sleep. The power to change your marriage and to plant new seeds is always there. It is up to you to create the marriage that you desire to have.
👍👍
DeleteStop being jealous since you know he will not cheat. He might just like her as a person not love in the real sense
ReplyDeleteYou want to help him. So he cannot help himself abi. 🙄
ReplyDeleteThat's why she is his wife. See things he can't see.
DeleteWomen I understand that feeling,but we should try focus on ourselves ooooo,at time you hear some women saying "I will kill someone if I catch my husband with another woman"ha! Life more than this.imagine giving yourself BP because of a another woman.cheating started from the Holy Bible,the man after God's heart was King David and he was a chronic womaniser.poster please focus on yourself, stop giving yourself BP for nothing.
ReplyDeletekeep praying for him that is all you can do for him. He has the final answer on how to handle this.
ReplyDelete🤣 You're actually the problem here Madam .
ReplyDeleteI see comments and I'm surprised at the responses.
ReplyDeleteHe is a pastor, who is attracted to someone else and is showing. And you call his wife who is his help meet who is supposed to watch out for him jobless???🤔
That's her job to watch out for him, for anything that may disrupt his pastoral duties, that may break the hedge of their marriage and scatter his ministry.
You have no idea how the devil has been looking for him or placing people before him and finally Satan seems to be succeeding by getting him attracted to someone..
You people have not asked why only the lady in question....
@poster, pls pray for your husband. While you think he may not cheat every human has a weakness. Pray and be led. At some point you may have to tell him your observation, kindly and gently. He may not even be aware that he is doing this.
Pls note, Satan is after your husband and his ministry and also after your marriage..
The aftermath of adultery is usually not funny.
Pls pray and keep watching out for your husband.
Grace and strength be multiplied to you.
👍👍👍
DeletePoster, na you tok say your pastor husband has never cheated and he can not act on his attraction for her.
ReplyDeleteWhy then are you worried?
He is your husband. You can talk to him about how his awkward behavior around her makes you feel. or you can kukuma lock up and sidon dey look.
Pray for him and communicate your feelings to him with love and respect. Your concerns are genuine; feelings can develop more if she reciprocates.
ReplyDeleteAll you’ve said here say it to him, you will see him stop.
ReplyDeleteHello will get over it as long as she is not giving him attention.Don't stress your self Just watch him
ReplyDeleteLet your husband knows that you are aware that he's attracted to the lady, and two of you should pray and fast about it, so that your husband and his ministry will not fall, I would have said you're jealous if your husband isn't a pastor, but the thing is devil always use women and money to lure men of God and if they're not careful, they will just lose the race.
ReplyDeleteMadam, don't mind Stella, you are very observant and I understand your concern in which every sensible and wise woman would do. Just observe if there's any connection or chemistry between them and prayerfully use that wisdom of yours. May God help you dear ma'am.
ReplyDeleteThe devil wants to destroy you using your mind and thoughts. He is very crafty. He first brings you the thoughts and keep you busy with it making you dwell in it day and night.
ReplyDeleteSay No to evil imaginations and stick to only positivity (it will make you happy and bring you peace)
Have a conversation with your hubby, let him know how you feel.
Be praying for your husband
ReplyDeleteMao Akuh (Oriflame)
Some of you BVs are clueless if you think Pastors' wives are jobless. Most of them may not be be working as per earning a living but they handle some duties in the ministry that keep them busy. Poster, I understand how you feel. its your duty to look out for your husband just as it's also his duty to look out for you. That's what marriage is. Looking out for each other. Don't let anybody shame you for that, Pastors' wife or not. Pls speak with hubby and point out your concerns. Don't just pray and keep quiet.
ReplyDeleteSome of you BVs are clueless if you think Pastors' wives are jobless. Most of them may not be be working as per earning a living but they handle some duties in the ministry that keep them busy. Poster, I understand how you feel. its your duty to look out for your husband just as it's also his duty to look out for you. That's what marriage is. Looking out for each other. Don't let anybody shame you for that, Pastors' wife or not. Pls speak with hubby and point out your concerns. Don't just pray and keep quiet.
ReplyDeleteI pour your Pastor husband with soap water to clear his eyes
ReplyDelete