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As narrated, this man in his 30's after impregnating women, forces them into terminating it. Two women already did. On another occasion, this lady pleaded to keep the baby which didn't go well with him. He threatened leaving her for another woman if she disobeyed him on that. He hails from that community..
In order to keep the relationship over the pregnancy, she did it after four months of much arguments. Few days after it, she died from complications. Before her death, she had told her family what happened and also cursed the man who pushed her into it.
When she passed on, her family got this man arrested. He spent a week in detention and was released. Traditionally, he was to marry her in death but he refused.
Consequently, the family of the deceased woman and the community performed some rituals and cursed him never to be a father in his life. He thought they were joking.
Days ran into weeks and weeks into months and now it's over 15yrs of that incidence he hasn't been able to settle down in marriage even with the money he's earning.
Days ran into weeks and weeks into months and now it's over 15yrs of that incidence he hasn't been able to settle down in marriage even with the money he's earning.
He has also not been able to impregnate another woman. According to people whom he must have confided to, he said once any woman take in for him again, he will proceed on marriage plans.
Obviously, the reason he's yet to marry could be as a result of the pronouncement on him and he didn't find it necessary to meet the elders to reconcile things. I came to know him in the area through the descriptions given and I have seen him on different occasions along the road side. I can only but imagine what could be going through in his mind.
Most times I have tried to understand why a woman will terminate because the man who got her pregnant don't want it. If he doesn't want it how about you? don't you want it yourself? This is one reason I'll never define a single mum by the singular decision and choice they made by birthing their baby. If I have ever done that in the past, I will say probably I didn't know better at the time. It takes much courage for a young lady to walk that part and I will say it's a great decision to be made.
Quite understandable, at first it's usually difficult and it will seems everything is crumbling and your life about to be on hold but with time things gets normalized when you hold on to that pregnancy. The joy that comes after birthing and holding your baby in your arms can be described. Watching your baby each day grows is another joy on its own. I'll never encourage, suggest or support ab!rtion unless when it's medically proven to pose a threat on the life of the woman.
More also, I will say everyone should be intentional of what they're doing. If you don't want a child yet, use protection and save yourself all the unnecessary stress and troubles.
Obviously, the reason he's yet to marry could be as a result of the pronouncement on him and he didn't find it necessary to meet the elders to reconcile things. I came to know him in the area through the descriptions given and I have seen him on different occasions along the road side. I can only but imagine what could be going through in his mind.
Most times I have tried to understand why a woman will terminate because the man who got her pregnant don't want it. If he doesn't want it how about you? don't you want it yourself? This is one reason I'll never define a single mum by the singular decision and choice they made by birthing their baby. If I have ever done that in the past, I will say probably I didn't know better at the time. It takes much courage for a young lady to walk that part and I will say it's a great decision to be made.
Quite understandable, at first it's usually difficult and it will seems everything is crumbling and your life about to be on hold but with time things gets normalized when you hold on to that pregnancy. The joy that comes after birthing and holding your baby in your arms can be described. Watching your baby each day grows is another joy on its own. I'll never encourage, suggest or support ab!rtion unless when it's medically proven to pose a threat on the life of the woman.
More also, I will say everyone should be intentional of what they're doing. If you don't want a child yet, use protection and save yourself all the unnecessary stress and troubles.
No more fear of God.
ReplyDeleteThe wages of sin is death
Yen, yen, yen, yen!!! I'm sure they will write about you soon, if you don't get married. You have crossed 40yrs and still not married. What's the age difference btw you and the man?
ReplyDeleteYou are MEAN!
DeleteAnon 14.01, he’s married na. To an Akwa Ibom lady.
DeleteAre you able to write without talking about someone else’s life
ReplyDeleteNot just you sha
However you look at it, this story sits heavy on the heart. Not just about the man’s misfortune or the woman’s death, but about choices, pride, and the quiet justice that life sometimes delivers - what some wrongfully call karma - rather, grief-stricken debt that time was left to collect.
ReplyDeleteWhen a man believes he can dictate life and death over another person’s body, he forgets that consequences don’t always come in the form of handcuffs. Sometimes, they come as emptiness - a kind of silence that follows you everywhere.
That woman’s curse was the echo of her pain. And fifteen years later, it seems her voice still walks beside him. I honestly think his problem isn’t just spiritual but moral. He owes her memory repentance, not prideful excuses.
Nice write-up, Teejay. You made a good point - single mothers who choose to keep their babies deserve respect, not ridicule. Because at the heart of it, bringing a child into the world, especially when the man flees or becomes a deadbeat, takes more strength than most people can imagine.
We all need to be more intentional - men and women alike. Life shouldn’t be toyed with, and love shouldn’t become a graveyard of regrets.
Stop attacking Teejee. He tells this story to educate our younger generations. Africans have always excelled with story telling (oral literature). That’s how we pass intellectual properties onto our children. Let him be.
ReplyDelete