ADVICE NEEDED
My church pastor has been very angry with me recently and says that since he was posted to the church, I haven't come to pay his a visit....we only see each other on Sundays, and during programs. He said it is not supposed to be so and added that, as a lead minister in songs, and as a serious church lady that I am, I should be closer to the man of God so that more impact will be made through prayers bla bla bla.....
God forgive me, I don't know his intentions o, but I replied him instantly that I don't move too close to pastors, especially men as I see my husband as my small god and even if anything is bothering me, I tell him, we pray together and all shall be sorted.
Since then, he left me alone ooo and started carrying face but honestly, God forgive me, I don't know his motives ooo.... I'm not just a papa say this, Papa say that kind of Christian from my teenage years but I'm still curious if I'm doing the right thing.
Since then, he left me alone ooo and started carrying face but honestly, God forgive me, I don't know his motives ooo.... I'm not just a papa say this, Papa say that kind of Christian from my teenage years but I'm still curious if I'm doing the right thing.
Any word of advice? or someone with a similar experience can share with me...
As i read this with the words you used..It feels like he wants to gbensh you but you may be wrong but it is good to avoid it happening than allowing it get to that stage.......Or you can agree to visit him and show up with your husband at his house to pass a message across to him...
As i read this with the words you used..It feels like he wants to gbensh you but you may be wrong but it is good to avoid it happening than allowing it get to that stage.......Or you can agree to visit him and show up with your husband at his house to pass a message across to him...
Anyone with a similar experience and how it played out can share.
Please dont mention any names here so as not to turn this into a libellous post.
With the current scandal making waves with some pastors/apostles and leaked audios, maintain your distance
ReplyDeleteYou told him the right thing
My dear, you did very well.
DeleteIt is not a Gbensh issue. It's an annoying Nigerian leadership attitude- loyalty. A similar thing happened to me at work and I had an almost exact conversation with the new Director. Dom after, the attitude changed and a friend turned enemy because I wasn't perceived as loyal.
DeleteIt's politics. He's keeping face for you because your answer frankly was somehow implicating to him.
Learn how to read the situations and play the internal politics of where you are or you'll be left out the loop which is probably what's coming next
You did well maidia before e shift ya paent
ReplyDeleteYou made the right decision. Did they post him there for people (ladies) to visit him? Let him continue to carry his face na. Do not allow him guilt trip you.
ReplyDeleteYour pastor is crossing a line. No pastor should be seen advocating that a member should visit him. If he has anything of import to discuss with you, it should be in his office or over the phone.
ReplyDeleteYou owe him nothing by refusing to visit his home. If the matter persists, change your church.
No allow make dem okaforise you. 🤣
It’s not that deep Abeg
DeleteShe can go with her choir group or go with her husband
Okaforise
Delete☺️
@17:31
DeleteIt is deeper
Not because of any bad intention or act as insinuated
In fact, all insinuated can be done in the Pastor's office too
But because, each thing has its place.
In some churches, the male and female are not allowed to spend time alone together in seclusion especially overnight.
It is not because they would do anything bad
But because they may do
Even the people of this world would not believe they did not do bad
And such belief stumbles the weak in faith or mislead them.
Poster;I’m very proud of you🍻🍻🍻
ReplyDeleteIf you have kids;join them with your husband while visiting..
That is how it starts,next you will start taking food to him,then it will migrate to you cooking the food in his quarters;and finally he would start looking for a way to anoint you with his pe*is..
If the message is soo important;give him 10 good mins after service just outside the church;make e no pass like that..
What is a single or married woman going to a pastors house to do?
If he doesn’t have an office just beside the church for consultation or visit,then right inside the church just after service is enough for any message he has for you or others..
Boundary is very necessary for your own self respect;apply wisdom,an erect pen*s with no self discipline doesn’t differentiate between a married or single woman;and yea TRUST is a luxury we humans can’t afford.
@MARTINS
Even pastor's church office is not left out for gbenshing, please tell your husband and don't even visit him at all, if situation warrants compulsory visits, make sure you go in company of at least three people, may he no con use style style send the other person on errands.
DeleteMartins you say wetin?
DeleteAnoint her with his what?
☺️
To be sincere...from my observations according to what you wrote, i think he has ulterior motives...I could be wrong though
ReplyDeleteNne run o
ReplyDeleteWhich closeness come be that one
Naso dem dey start. Go with your husband to greet him, from there sincerely you will know his motive. if he gets angry because you came with your husband or family, then you know his motive.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you did anything wrong.
ReplyDeleteIs your pastor married?
If situation warrants you visiting him, please go with your entire family.
I've never visited my Rev since he was transferred two years ago. Every visit and prayers are done in the church in the presence of my husband.
I don't even go to him for special prayers and counseling
Your duty is not to please him but to please God. As far as your actions are not against God, let him continue to carry face till 2980066. Don't be bothered. The bible says we should flee from sin, if not visiting him is your way of ensuring familiarity doesn't bring contempt then so be it.
ReplyDeleteYou are only a church member, except if there is a very good reason why you should visit him then my all means in the company of others. Never see him alone.
ReplyDeleteWhat does he want to tell you that you have to visit?
Keep it formal.
You have the spirit of God, why bring it here? have you told Your husband?
Please don't visit him. Let him say whatever he wants to say to you in the presence of your husband.
ReplyDeleteTell him you'll visit but go with your husband and children
ReplyDeleteSimple,mk we see how or which side he go follow bend to...🤣🤣
DeleteDear Pastor sir,no be every kpekus Dem dey chop nah😅
I think you should change church
ReplyDeleteYou’re not comfortable here so why stay
For a pastor that got posted there, it does seem a little odd that you and your husband have not visited him together
Again leave if you’re not comfortable
Is he married?
Little odd because they didn't visit him? Visit him for what? Who make it an obligation that church members must visit their pastors?
DeleteI don't see anything wrong in what you did poster maybe because for me too, if any pastor waits for me for a visit, he go wait tire. I'm a se adura n se amin kinda person. After the grace nothing else abeg
Please stick to your words oooo,greetings is enough,he should be closer with your hubby not you.
ReplyDeleteYou were not wrong. As a married woman, setting boundaries is biblical and wise. Your husband is your first spiritual covering, and honoring him honors God (Eph. 5:23).
ReplyDeleteBeing close to a pastor is not a measure of spirituality. God uses obedience, service, and a pure heart.
You didn’t insult him; you simply protected your marriage and yourself. His reaction may be misunderstood, but you don’t need to break your values to keep peace.
If you want peace, you may gently clarify your respect for his office ,but don’t apologize for your boundaries.
Bottom line: You did the right thing. Peace + wisdom = God’s leading.
God forgive me too, that man probably wants to sleep with you.
ReplyDeletePlease, stay very far away from him.
Regardless of his intentions, it is wrong for him to seek closeness with you. As a married woman, your primary loyalty and submission should be to your husband, while also honoring your spiritual head. Allowing such closeness opens the door to temptation, which may be difficult for either of you to resist. It is important to maintain firm boundaries to protect your marriage and uphold your integrity.
ReplyDeleteHmmm don't visit him at all, your service is to God and not man. For him to be carrying face ,means he has a lot to address as someone working for God. Don't allow him at all into your energy as he can use that to influence your life as some of these so called pastors are diabolical.
ReplyDeleteBaby girl, he wants to PENIS you
ReplyDeleteThere's no way his intentions are pure, and you know it. Visit him as per what? And he's carrying face, orisirisi.
ReplyDeleteYou did well o. Better to set your boundaries
ReplyDeleteI would say you were overthinking until you mentioned he is keeping his distance and showing face. If his intentions were pure he would still be engaging with you and enquiring on the music dept.
ReplyDeleteIn consideration of how things are going these days and how rampant Christians are falling into temptations that they should be able to battle easily, setting strong barriers is crucial to spiritual survival. If I was married, I too would limit unnecessary contact with men that I’m unrelated to, I got no time for foolishness of any kind.
Pray for wisdom this 2026. So if na you, and he didn’t show face, you would have carried yourself to go and collect Annointing?
Delete@21:08
DeletePlease, you misread @20:09 - "If his intentions were pure he would still be engaging with you and enquiring on the music dept." A good intention person do not get offended by a rejection of his/her out-stretched hand of fellowship.
21:08, I do not as a practice automatically read negativity in people’s intentions. Perhaps I’m naive or gullible, but I generally give folks the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise. Now, in this case, it is possible that is how things were done where he came from and he expected the same process in the new church. Also, meeting with someone does not mean you must meet with them privately in their office, you could still meet them openly in the church for all to see and hear. He could have made suggestions to accommodate the poster at her comfort level if he had no ill intentions in mind, but resorting to showing face and keeping his distance says a whole lot.
DeleteYou ladies know what is right and what is wrong so let us stop pretending, he has negative motive and you know madam. Next time tell him you wana come visit him with your husband.
ReplyDeleteNa so dem dey start. My dia let him carry face reach kafanchan dontever entertain such request again. If he ever tries it again wozam one hot slap that he'll never forget in a hurry .
ReplyDeleteThat your pasta ahewo dey him eyes periodt.
You're doing well sis. Leave him alone abeg. Na from clap e dey take enter dance
ReplyDeleteDon't even go to.see him alone.
ReplyDeleteGo with your husband.and after that, don't go again. Only visit him with your husband by your side.
You did right
It’s good that you gave him a wide berth o, before we begin to hear ‘stories that touch’🤨
ReplyDeletePapa Pastor is obviously interested in your Honeypot😠
ReplyDeleteI wish all Naija married women could have sense and be like you, but no, most of them idolise pastor over their hubby and they spread legs for him even before he ask
He must have seen your ikebe and bwest through your dress, that cause several imaginations in his medula oblangata. This prompted the invitation to his house.
ReplyDeleteIn the bible. What did Jesus say about looking at a woman lustfully?
You did well abeg! I still wouldn't go if i was single.
ReplyDeleteSince you're married, you for go with your husband and also choir executives.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThere are many false and unbaked pastors in the world - people who are still in bondage to the flesh. So it is possible the pastor in question is one of them.
ReplyDeleteif you agree to visit him, go with your husband.