Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Facts Of Life........LMAO

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Friday, January 24, 2014

Facts Of Life........LMAO





•You collect babe number you use 'chick' store am. Her
mama na fowl ?

• U buy suya ,your woman chop all the meat finish you come dey smile dey chop the onion, u be
vegetarian?

• U dey wit your guy , dey recieve different kinds of phone calls every 5 min, yet you dey claim say you no dey cheat on am...My sista, you be MTN customer care agent?

• U ask a girl wetin she want from you and she asked for money and you come dey vex...you dey expect make she ask for wisdom and understanding? She be Solomon?

• U dey carry your girlfriend go club, wen you don marry her finish, you dey expect make she stop clubbing,
My broda are you a learner?

• Ur girlfriend dumps you for a rich man you say she be gold digger, but your  sister do the same to anoda guy,you give testimony for Church Say na Divine intervention..... 
Bros park well!

• You get F9 parallel for WAEC, still you dey ask for Brazilian Hair of N150.000 .
Abeg where you wan fix am?,
on top that coconut head?

• U get tribal marks, stretch marks full your body yet you want  tattoo...ah ah! my
friend you be zebra?

• U are 6 feet tall, you still come wear 6 inches high heeled shoe...
shey you wan whisper to God?

• U dey snap inside different types of cars yet you expect youur man to believe you no dey cheat.....babe you be mechanic?

• U gather different girls' picture for your phone and you expect your gal to believe you dey faithful....uncle, you be photographer?

• He gave you an engagement for over five years, he Never marry you.....
 my dear you be lord of the rings?

•You dey pay your babe wey dey university school fees and yet you never write JAMB,you be Scholarship board?

•U are 18yrs and your sugar daddy is 70yrs old and you stil dey call him 'BABY', 
my sister na your ANCESTOR?

•Your babe is eating ice cream...you're drinking pure water...
please my guy Are you diabetic?

•U claim say you dey do fasting and prayer but you come vomit fufu and egusi soup. Omo you be magician?



*from facebook newsfeed


85 comments:

  1. Hahahahhahha. Hilarious.

    CeeCee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lols,funny enof ts wts goin on n lyf. Eve E Ume

      Delete
    2. They are funny but wish i could laugh so hard.
      My relationship of 2yrs is ending because we are both AS. I feel so heartbroken. Just when we were talking marriage..... I love him so much & can't toll with my future.....

      Delete
    3. That is the first question you should ask a guy you are interested in!
      Would have saved you the two years of hopeless bonding,
      Mtchew, are you a learner?

      Delete
    4. Princess Charming24 January 2014 at 16:43

      Eyah.. Sister take heart. The lord is your strength. Its better late than never. Just put your trust and hope on God this year, a guy without AS will come your way.

      Delete
    5. Tomi?? Is this you

      Delete
    6. My suitor hasn't spoken to me since last nite cos he wanted us to hv sex and i refused, he doesn't know his genotype and I am AS. I asked him to go for a blood check but he is in such a hurry to get me pregnant. I suspect foul play here. If he like make he vex hit head for wall

      Delete
    7. I am AA. i'm what you need. i can even marry SS No Wahala

      Delete
    8. Whao, pls jes accept ur fate cos ur unborn children ll suffer it. D pains a ss patient go thru isn't a child play @ all, so pls ask for his genotype b4 entrin in2 a relatnship

      Delete
  2. SDK! I throw wey salute ooo! What a nice start 4 ds weekend!
    DEW

    ReplyDelete
  3. *U are 6 feet tall, you still come wear 6 inches high heeled shoe...shey you wan whisper to God?* LMCAO..Buhahahahahahaha..Preach on!
    *African Barbie..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I swear, I laughed so hard that everybody rushed to my desk

      Delete
  4. Stella of life,ur head dey there!
    Na dis one sweet me pass.
    Most Naija guys are 1001% guilty even when they know the only language we understand is money n comfort.
    "Ur girlfriend dumps you for a rich man you say she be gold digger, but your sister do the same to anoda guy,you give testimony for Church Say na Divine intervention.....
    Bros park well!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U still have dat ur brownish teeth updated abi? U must be a very stubborn boy.

      Delete
    2. Only broke ass niggas think that way Yomslaw.......so, park well

      Delete
    3. Sweet,it's not my fault ure a frustrated wretched roasting goat dat can barely pay for his data package.
      Real men don't com on blogs replying every comment beautiful Mamie posts.
      They work hard n earn real good moni to bera their lives n dat of beautiful Mamie n her likes.
      I'd reply further wen u change that Xmas goat face of urs.
      #cheers!!

      Delete
    4. Real Men empower their women.....................#NOt SpoonFeedDem4Life#

      I won't try and argue with ya cos lie you rightly said about Yourself and the other Women folk You rep.....''the ONLY Languages we(you) understand are ''Money and Comfort''...............Sounds Bitchy to me; a Bitchy1 that has no intention of graduating from earning Monthly allowance from a guy @that!



      I'm shocked that this is what you will comment on of all the numerous Funny and Inciting Facts dished out by SDK!

      Delete
    5. Actually I am a woman and I beg to differ. The only thing I want from my man is not money and comfort. Honesty, Love, Companionship, Friendship, Great Sex, Great Father to our kids, Good motivator and adviser all top my list before MONEY. I may be completely wrong but I think it has a lot to do with me being in diaspora. I live in the States and women here work and earn their own pay. Really good pay too if you went to college here like I did and graduated with honors. That being said what we want from men is quite different from what Naija babes want from men. I'm not judging anyone, I have just found this to be the case from my visits home and talking to all my naija girlfriends I grew up with. But hey, whatever floats your boat:)

      Delete
    6. Not only studied in the states! You sure no be Aba poly to bin graduate from?......... studied in the states my freaking ass. be ya self babe and stop forming je ge for here. there r babes here who studied in 9ja and still work hard for their one naira. and are very very very independent. cStudied in the states my freaking ass. like we wey school for 9ja na only aristo and papilo things we de go........like say we no get papa and mama wey de work..... common gerrout of here. Mind how u generalize the context of the rubbish wey full ya mouth. "That being said what we want from men is quite different from what Naija babes want from men" I am a 9ja babe who is very independent. So berra mind ya self o before we gather locate u for ur wormhole beat arabanko commot for ya body. nonsense. Like say black girls abroad are not desperate too. Na una jesus take do miracle and 8th wonder of the world. like women here don't work and earn their own pay. na so so dash dem de dash us abi. Gorrola like u. No go find bros marry. come here be like u be Beyonce sister. Aba parasite like u. Goat!

      Delete
    7. By the way I and a lot of women who studied in Nigeria and also graduated with Honors are hard working and independent and know exactly what they want from their man. I hope you don't grow old looking for that broda u have painted in u cockroach head' I hope you understand i am very offended by this statement "That being said what we want from men is quite different from what Naija babes want from men'. Being an honors student don't give you the freaking right to generalize an assumption. There is a word called SOME, A FEW ............. Naija Babes includes u anumpam (in case u don't know) not because u studied abroad . at least u were here before u left for the states so 9ja fucking blood is still in you. comb a pig wash a pig cloth a fucking pig, a FUCKING FREAKING PIG IS STILL A FUCKING FREAKING PIG. Always know that for the fact you were born and grew up in 9ja ,YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A FREAKING NIGERIAN. Even if ya host America give you citizenship. you r still a fucking Nigerian. Imbe! Coming here to form international. You are the reason your fucking friends are trying so hard to get stuff from men. When you come back and form international intimidation whenever u r around them. You berra re evaluate how you have reset your mind since u left the shore of Nigeria. Like say u no de open leg for man. cow!

      Your persona offends me because you are a very pretentious person, Your arrogance is utterly disgusting.

      Delete
    8. 6:50 PM: I am personally offended by your comments and generalized comments. By na you would have figured that our right? Your type would be like the post on LL's blog on Men whacking their RN wives. You'd be next if you continue with your fake life.

      Delete
    9. Bitch please...may be u graduated but am sure it aint with honors. And if you are "in diaspora" you probably should stay there. I love me an independent 9ja woman but I also want a woman that respects other women. Especially Nigerian women. You started out right but u dragged urself behind the start line.

      Delete
  5. Hahahahhahah true facts.......u for tag am as Friday laugh na madam stellina .anyways I smells slow news today!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very funny facts....
    The one of girlfriend finishing the meat and the guy eating the onion !!! By force vegetarian.
    Girlfriend dump you for rich man- gold digger
    Your sister do same - divine intervention .
    Who no like better thing!

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  7. =))=Dlaffingº˚˚°º≈º˚˚°º≈witº˚˚°º≈swagzº˚˚°º≈=))

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  8. LMAO..Really funny! Lol

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  9. Hahahah afi diabetic no ni! *rme* Stella iyaf killed me wt lafta ds hot afternoon! Chai.. Lol

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  10. =))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=)). Ur hussy buy all white pant for u. U cum dey ask am say, u wnt ppl to tnk I dnt change pant. U dey waka wit only pant wey ppl go tynk say u knw dey change pant

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  11. LMAO @ please my guy Are you diabetic?

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  12. Lwkmd........
    U be vegetarian?

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  13. Lol so so funny, most especially......................... You dey pay your babe wey dey university school fees and yet you never write JAMB,you be Scholarship board?

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  14. Nice one Stella. A good way to start my weekend. No dull moment with my Stella of Life!!!

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  15. Haha...funny. They all cracked me up. J

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  16. Brazilian hair on top coconut head. Hahhahahhahhahaha

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  17. hahahaha,highlarious!! just laughing in the office

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  18. Your account balance reads N0.10 yet u have the guts to sing 'she must chop my money'. Which money?! U be magician or wizard? Where the money go drop from??

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  19. I love u. This ought to av bin Saturday or Sunday laffs.

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  20. Hahahaha stella won't kill me oh xpclly dt coconut head

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  21. Too funny, Stella!! Hahaha

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  22. Lol! I love that 'lord of the rings' quip. Naija peeps are so inventive. Nice one Stella.

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  23. U get tribal marks, stretch marks full your body yet you want tattoo...ah ah! my
    friend you be zebra?
    kai, Stella, you no go kill person. lol

    ReplyDelete
  24. Rotfl @ 4, 6, 9, &13. Crazy! Lmao.

    ReplyDelete
  25. U fix brazillian hair and peruvian hair dey complain of headache,,,my dear na Aba plot of land u carry for head oooO

    ReplyDelete
  26. U fix brazillian hair and peruvian hair dey complain of headache,,,my dear na Aba plot of land u carry for head oooO

    ReplyDelete
  27. stella, stella. this is nice hahahaha

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  28. Lmaoo @she be solomon?.....Girls want money jare

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  29. These are so hilarious.....just what my doctor prescribed before I went to bed last night - laughter.

    Thanks for making me start the day on a good note despite the snow all around my head.

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  30. Hehehehehehe!!!!!......stella haf kil me o!

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  31. Nice one Stella. Lmao @ u be vegetarian?

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  32. _______ (=D
    __//...II......\\____ \
    *NG**NG* II*NG**NG**NG**NG*\\ 
    ------------------ 
    Hahahaha= laff wan make motor. jam me O .... Aunty stella of life!!! This alone is akin to adrenaline to my system....doctors prescription 10times in a day for longer life.... I love u bits jor aunty mmadu..Yes! @i_Choptas_Not

    ReplyDelete
  33. Stella!

    U too much! *thumbs Up*

    ReplyDelete
  34. Wisdom n knowledge ,sooooo funnny stella ur head dey der o,solomon tinz,am lafins na.abeg month jor

    ReplyDelete
  35. Carry on SDK, so so funny

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  36. first time to comment, i just had to do it... this is really funny, i fell down on my seat laughing
    kudos stella, i love dis blog

    ReplyDelete
  37. Stella ooo! *Clap! Clap!! Clap!!!*

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  38. Crack ya Ribs part 4..good one SDK

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  39. Y won`t u b heart broken dear, u should hav asked 4 his genotye. 4 me, I ask o, infact i`m abt 2 c d genotype test of a toaster, untiil then, no love o. Jst will b enjoying my sugar daddy

    ReplyDelete
  40. Seriously, i`m confused, want 2. Knw how 2 double date without been caught

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear, the last time I did was abt 8 years ago and I turned a new leaf. I have started double dating and it feels so good. My self confidence is back.

      Delete
  41. "U dey snap inside different types of cars yet you expect youur man to believe you no dey cheat.....babe you be mechanic?"

    "U are 18yrs and your sugar daddy is 70yrs old and you stil dey call him 'BABY',
    my sister na your ANCESTOR?"

    LMAO!! Thanks SDK u are truly a rare gem...muah!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Lol...lols....lolllssss......lolllllssssss.......looooollllllllssss.......Stella na my laugh pattern be that o...una no go kill person....cheers

    ReplyDelete
  43. Princess Charming24 January 2014 at 16:47

    LWKMD... SDK you no well ooo. See as I disgrace myself for here bcos of the way I laugh. I forget say I dey public place...Lol.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Chai... Stella make polizei no arrest me as I dey laugh waka for street for this cold o.... U no well true.

    ReplyDelete
  45. SDK, you no go kill person o. Abeg ride on jare, we dey ur back

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  46. The part about vomitting fufu really cracked me up.

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  47. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

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  48. Ur boyfriend beats you every now and then, yet you say he brings out the best in you. Please are you a goat? Eran iya, isi ewu.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Take am easy @ Anonymous January 24, 2014 at 11:00PM.. U too dey vex.. Jst correct her

    ReplyDelete

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