Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Teen Leaves Heartbreaking Suicide Note

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Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Teen Leaves Heartbreaking Suicide Note

A transgender teenager who committed suicide by walking in front of a tractor trailer in Ohio left a heartbreaking letter in which she blamed her religious parents.








Leelah Alcorn, 17, died in the early hours of Sunday on highway I-71 in Warren County, Ohio, a few miles from her family home.
The high school student left a poignant suicide note accusing her devout Christian parents of refusing to acknowledge her gender and forbidding her from transitioning.The suicide note was posted on Leelah's tumblr account through scheduled publishing just a few hours after her death.




The note begins: '
LEELAH'S SUICIDE LETTER
If you are reading this, it means that I have committed suicide and obviously failed to delete this post from my queue.

Please don’t be sad, it’s for the better. The life I would’ve lived isn’t worth living in… because I’m transgender. I could go into detail explaining why I feel that way, but this note is probably going to be lengthy enough as it is. To put it simply, I feel like a girl trapped in a boy’s body, and I’ve felt that way ever since I was 4. I never knew there was a word for that feeling, nor was it possible for a boy to become a girl, so I never told anyone and I just continued to do traditionally “boyish” things to try to fit in.


When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.


My mom started taking me to a therapist, but would only take me to christian therapists, (who were all very biased) so I never actually got the therapy I needed to cure me of my depression. I only got more christians telling me that I was selfish and wrong and that I should look to God for help.


When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn’t receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.


I formed a sort of a “f*** you” attitude towards my parents and came out as gay at school, thinking that maybe if I eased into coming out as trans it would be less of a shock. Although the reaction from my friends was positive, my parents were pissed. They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight christian boy, and that’s obviously not what I wanted.


So they took me out of public school, took away my laptop and phone, and forbid me of getting on any sort of social media, completely isolating me from my friends. This was probably the part of my life when I was the most depressed, and I’m surprised I didn’t kill myself. I was completely alone for 5 months. No friends, no support, no love. Just my parent’s disappointment and the cruelty of loneliness.


At the end of the school year, my parents finally came around and gave me my phone and let me back on social media. I was excited, I finally had my friends back. They were extremely excited to see me and talk to me, but only at first. Eventually they realized they didn’t actually give a s**t about me, and I felt even lonelier than I did before. The only friends I thought I had only liked me because they saw me five times a week.


After a summer of having almost no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like s**t because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. 

Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say “it gets better” but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.


That’s the gist of it, that’s why I feel like killing myself. Sorry if that’s not a good enough reason for you, it’s good enough for me. As for my will, I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don’t give a s**t which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. 


My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s f***ed up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.
Goodbye,

(Leelah) Josh Alcorn CULLED



OMG...OMG..OMG
I dont understand so many things about people who want to transmit.I hope that he has found peace now.

I have a new transgender friend and this is kind of unsettling for me,I dont want to judge her,i am trying to understand her and reading this just makes me want to hug her right now.







120 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Eeyah!!!!! I really feel sorry for him. Critically looking at his case I realised his parents took steps(part of their responsibilities as parents) in order to help him see reasons to change his idea of transmitting. All they did is to assist their son whom they feel needed help. And also they are right, God does not make mistake nor does He act unjustly(Job 34:10-12). Humans are drawn out and enticed by their own desires which in most cases lead to pain, suffering, and death( James 1:13-15)

      Delete
    2. Suicide is never an option..
      He has achieved nothing by killing himself, cos i'm not even sure he's at peace wherever he is right now. May God forgive him nd accept his soul..amen!!

      Delete
    3. Whites n d way they commit suicide beats me o... thank God for mindset... may his/her soul rest in peace

      Delete
    4. May I neva b faced wv a situation dat gvs me suicide as d only wae awt in Jesus name....Amen!

      Delete
    5. oma is that English?

      Delete
    6. Do I blame the parents for tryna correct the lil man. Hell no, They played their parental role and no iota of regret.
      He's gone and gone for bad. I pray God have a rethink on his soul.





      My Birthday loading... January 5th...#TeamCapricorn #TeamJanBorn

      »»Jealous SDKer««

      Delete
    7. Hi birthday mate

      Delete
    8. What a selfish and self centered write up. So basically no one loves you the way you want them to so you kill yourself? Bye!

      Delete
    9. Heartbreaking or "words of a looney-bin", longest hiss!

      All I can see is a child who is. Sick and wants to blame his parents for his sickness, wicked child, poor parents.

      Delete
  2. Hian. May he RIP.

    May this transgender fever not reach here o. Imagine our Teaching hospitals doing this op.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Him no ready to die. See the long note. He has not made up his mind. Looking for attention. If he finally killed himself, his cup of tea.

      Uwa mmebi.

      Delete
  3. The devil succeeded in confusing him about his sexuality! I see gays, lesbians and trannies as people who are sick!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Suicide should never be an option,may his soul rest in peace

      Delete
    2. Gbamest!

      Delete
  4. How is this heartbreaking? You want friends,you didn't have and you think your life is over? You sit and see your future? and you are sure already it will be worse? Which kain brain una dey get sef?how can you be so assuming? I blame the parents for not watching him closely though seeing he retreated into himself and all. But have some sense..what am I even saying,you are dead! Go and meet your Maker and explain yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hian! Ok goodbye.

    May God comfort your parents.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mtcheeew die seven times if u like
    na ur own wahala

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hug ke !!!!! Be careful make you no go hug transformer ooo!!! Dem life dem trouble Whatever flys them kite .. Issh

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ezenwanyi International31 December 2014 at 08:31

    Fools didnt know I am a man but I pretend to be a woman.buhahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  9. Na So I see am o.God purnish Satan.This one heavy for mouth.Make I read comment.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hope you are enjoying being transgender in hell.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hmmmmm....i'm getting a bit relaxed about this!!!They are human after-all....

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ezenwanyi International31 December 2014 at 08:40

    Fools didnt know I am a man but I pretend to be a woman.buhahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  13. Rubbish talk Stella. He wanted death, he found it. To hell with him...everyone is beginning to accept this nonsense gay tin and its upseting.

    ReplyDelete
  14. God created man and took woman from the ribs of man. God knows before creating everyone. I dont understand why people will want to change from being a man to a woman and from being a woman to a man. All the cause of this is Science. Man has equate himself to God. You can not do what God has done. You cannot undone things God has perfectly put in place. Rest in peace Girl. I pray your father and mother find solace in God.

    ReplyDelete
  15. God never makes mistakes....s'top all these its my life' tag..freedom without limit kills..ur parents loved u boy....now that u've killed urself am here wondering...whats d essence??whites commit suicide for anytin...bully,breakup,loneliness and now transitioning....boy go and answer your creator!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Confused young man. May the wind of extreme depression and transitioning not find its way to naija, I can't imagine bringing up a boy child who thinks he's a girl.

      Delete
  16. BLOG ANALYSER: Sucide is not an option nd yes I can't fanthom that feeling of wanting to become a boy wen I am girl. It must be a special feeling to them. SDK please do a post on the blog nd ask people if they have geniuely felt they were a sex trapped inanother

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @blog analyser nice one I Support it 100percent

      Delete
    2. Abeg abeg abeg, there are far more relevant questions to ask please! Do not introduce any alien considerations here. There are young and impressionable minds on this blog. @onyi asa, if you're experiencing any such confusions please pray about it biko.

      Delete
  17. This is So sad
    May everyone reading this, see 2015 in Jesus Name , May he keep each and evry one of our family alive in Jesus name... Happy New year in advance

    ReplyDelete
  18. People just take their lives anyhow these days...well done devil! Keep putting voices in their heads to make them believe God made a mistake. If God made you a man, you're a man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abi oh my sister,seem like devil is winning oh.may God help his people

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    2. Spot on!!!

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  19. Another confused being, depression killed him not his parents attitude, + he's an attention seeker, he didn't get the attention when he was alive, so He sought for it in death, selfish Murrafucker!
    He probable flunked his grades and didn't see a bright future and like a loser he is he choose the easy way out.
    You know you aren't going to rest in peace right? Such a waste *smh*

    ReplyDelete
  20. Live and let's live...are d LGBT folks asking 4much;Naa i don't think so...people's sexual preferences shouldn't b anybodys biz...enough wt d hate already!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are asking for a stake on your children's future. If a girl of 10 is a tomboy they don't want society to see it as a phase that we all know it is. They want her parents to push her in the direction of believing she may have been born the wrong gender! Does that sound Ok to you?

      Delete
  21. U don't ve 2 worry about d living honey, Die ur own them go die their own. All die na die wether natural or suicide. Congrats 2 u tho its not easy making such huge sacrifice 4 ur kinds.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congrats to him for killing himself? How can you call suicide a sacrifice.? Its just so sad

      Delete
    2. All sin is sin. So if a rapist or murderer kills themselves it is not sad and neither is this.

      Delete
  22. Live and let's live



    A great loss to LGBT community




    @Galore

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  23. Find peace ke. I am not judging him, but God created you a man, you wan turn woman. These people sef.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Live and let's live



    A great loss to LGBT community




    @Galore

    ReplyDelete
  25. Although I'm straight, but I believe people should be left to live their lives the way they want. From Anon to Berlingirl, still wanting for an id.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If people lived their lives the way they wanted then Christ came in vain. I disagree with your contention. May God never allow me to live my life doing whatever I want. Thank God for His Word which is absolute and perfect.

      Delete
  26. God knows all.

    Oyibo

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  27. Hmmmmmm,this is very heart breaking,wish he finds happiness from wherever he is

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why must we continue fooling ourselves. The only happiness after death is in heaven with God. This person cannot be in heaven.

      Delete
  28. Omg omg!!! Am very weak now, bt my love u shldn't hv taking ur life dear! The society is not even helping @ all. Rest in peace.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I wonder how Cher felt when her daughter came out and decided to transition..amidst media speculation..even documented!

    I feel so sorry for this girl...but my heart goes out to the parents!! Which parent will want to see their once little boy or girl suddenly transition into another sex? No matter how accepting we are guys,it is when you have not felt the sting so closely you say is all good....

    Drastic sex change is one of the traumas of life a family has to go through,it does not just affect the individual transitioning..the whole family needs therapy to accept it,to live with it...RIP pretty girl,you sounded so sad...but your parents will live forever with the guilt you left them with..Adieu

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  30. Jeez dis is so disturbing! Speechless

    ReplyDelete
  31. eeaya,felt like cryin while readin,bt y go 2ru such painful suicide,y nt drink poison or better stil give urself 2 ritualist to use instead of dem ritualist usin pple who ordinarily wudnt want to die

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Silliest comment in blog commentary history!!!

      Delete
    2. LOL! Seriously Nkemdilim....

      Delete
  32. Hmmmm
    Suicide is never an option
    RIP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam Dabota, how is/was your honeymoon? Surprised peeps on this blog do not know that "Quiksilver" is Dabota Lawson.

      Delete
    2. @Anon we have a lot of celebrities here

      We are glad they are here reading the "lashment" as e dey hot..@SDK dey serve am

      Abeg leave @Dabota make she enjoy


      He he he I know @Annie Idibia handle here too.....na my big Aunty tell me....na sure thing... All of dem dey here


      @Galore

      Delete
    3. Who is this confused fellow?
      It's few hours to a new year, kindly drop this stupidity in 2014, alright?
      Now run along.

      Delete
  33. Really? D Shit I read about evryday, is more reason 2 pray some more 4 my kiDs b4 dey enta dis sinful world dt is bcoming more warped, daily. Lord hv mercy on us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. Bringing children into this world we're in now is more than just childbirth. If you don't fully commit them to Christ you will see terrible things like this happen.

      Delete
  34. What is going on another suicide from the LGBT community! I rem the lesbian Stella reported about her suicide because her parents was also not in support

    Well Stella!! U can give part of her will to ur transgender friend who wants to be rich ! Since the transgender suicide victim says that is what she wants, so she can RIP

    ReplyDelete
  35. Eyah!!!! May his soul rest in peace...
    Suicide shud never be an option...
    Wait a minute, dis whole transgender tin is becoming widespread. Never heard abt it some few years ago.

    ReplyDelete
  36. RIP. I feel like you gave your parents an easy way out. The best thing would have been to power through, turn 18 transition succesfully and make something good and positive out of yourself. That would have been a better fuck you to your parents than taking your life.
    Depression cannot be treated by religion, neither can genda identity issues or sexuality.

    On a side note, Stella I'm really proud of you. Yes you may not agree with with certain lifestyles but at least you are willing to learn which I can't really say for some of the commenters that will come here now and start spewing trash.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aunty open minded, it's not all movements you should follow. I hope you know some women have husbands who they support and encourage to change their gender and they remain married to them. Can you do that? Help your man to become a woman and stick with him in a same sex union? If not then you're just like the rest us spewing trash.

      Delete
  37. Hope he's happy where he is now.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I cnt stop cryin ova ds story,hope nw d parents r enjoyin dia 'image' sick pple. Love ur child no mata wat d ish is,mayb if d parents weren't hard on em it would v changed a lot. RIP to Leelah n I pray s(he) find peace wif God.

    ~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are insane. People like you can disown their child for dating outside their tribe.

      Delete
  39. This sounds so selfish to me, what of kids in some parts of the world that go to sleep hungry? What of people living with Aids or terminal diseases, what of people who have suffered varying amount of abuse all their lives without respite??? Or Christians dying in North Korea becos of having a bible??

    And he kills himself becos of What??? Bringing up kids is not an easy task but it's always important to make them see the big picture and help them realise that the world does not revolve around them, there are people that are in far worse situations in the world...

    This boy doesn't get my sympathy sorry..

    ReplyDelete
  40. hmm...this guys case is pitiable ....so you are not happy to be a guy.. u dont think that when you become a lady you will be happy either...so what do u want????dont fucking write this kinda letter and blame it on Christian parents...acceptance is hard even for normal people living normal lives...if he had eventually transformed to the lady and still did not gain acceptance and love it will be different now he will live his wandering spirit live still not happy and thinking'what if' i hate it when pple do stuffs and try to tag Christian faith to it........RIP bro/sis which ever one you are now..

    ReplyDelete
  41. Knew he wasn't a boy since he was 4. This boy must be kidding me, that's what all this gay ass people say, he wanted to transform cos he wants to be fucked by a guy... please

    ReplyDelete
  42. So sad, I say rest in pieces cos na hell fire straight. *sigh* indeed a touchy write up.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Dude ultimately exercised d greatest choice we all possess, d freedom to live or die.

    He should av waited till he wld b18 to change his sex, d parents were exercising their legal rights when they refuse his "new found" identity.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hug what?! All he succeeded in doing is accusing the parents. If he so wanted to be a woman he could have waited till he was 18 but obviously that's not what he wanted cox he said he would also be sad as a woman. He just wanted to punish his parents, that's all I see in this message. It's unfortunate

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  45. O ma ga ooooo. Matters of d heart varies sha. May God for his sins, grant him eternal rest n grant his loved ones d fortitude too bear d loss.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Suicide is no option for any problem ur passing tru......

    ReplyDelete
  47. Hmm...another Lgbt suicide!
    I don't mean to offend, but I strongly believe there's a strong demonic influence behind the Lgbt phenomenon.

    I read sometime ago that most of them were either sexually abused as youngsters (not all abused people turn gay) or had overbearing mothers.
    See his narrative, he obviously had both parents, but his mum seemed the more active person. No mention of his father. I don't really know if there's any truth to this theory, but I know these people need compassion and genuine spiritual intervention.

    Really sad!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Still pleading on anyone to assit me with foodstuffs for d NY things are vry bad over here pls kindly help a BV in Lagos Ajah,God bless aunty stella God bless all the givers nd recievers also all SDK BV,EJI

    ReplyDelete
  49. Ehya.. Sorry but u are a big bush meat

    ReplyDelete
  50. Still pleading on anyone to assit me with foodstuffs for d NY things are vry bad over here pls kindly help a BV in Lagos Ajah,God bless aunty stella God bless all the givers nd recievers also all SDK BV,EJI

    ReplyDelete
  51. Well this is so pissed off... For those giving us the lame excuse of being a woman trapped in a man's body and blablablah...know this God never and I repeat Never makes mistake...so pls...anyways I feel sad for the parents I hope God comforts them...suicide is never an option no matter what you are going tru no one has the right to take a life be it urs or not cos you never gave it in the first place.

    ReplyDelete
  52. The devil just succeeded in brainwashing d boy only to populate hell. People,be prayerful. The end is near.

    ReplyDelete
  53. I have no sympathy for this person. Suicide is a cop out, a coward's way out. Who exactly caused this child to kill "the" self? From the letter, I decipher deep psychosis at play here rather than gender dysmorphia.

    My heart really goes out to "the" parents, they indeed have gone through a lot. Children are supposed to keep joy and happiness in the lives of their parents not the opposite.For Westerners, it's the opposite due to their glorification of individualism which has invariably done more harm than good for them. This child is clearly disillusioned and when you're disillusioned depression sets in and you start seeing the horrible even in good deeds.

    My dear sorry to disappoint you, your death would fix nothing! Staying alive to fight for you the acceptance of your preferred gender identity would have been ideal. The parents didn't do wrong, they just wanted to raise the child in a way that life would be so much easier for everybody. This is a clear case of one selfish human being that wants to fuel the backlash against religion from liberal bigots by blaming her suicide on her parents religion rather than "her" lack of delay gratification to see it that gets better in the future and slow mental processing. She could have waited till 18 and do whatever but " No, I must end it all" was ringing through "her" head.

    Childlessness is better than having a child that all he/she does is make the cornea red and blood pressure rise.Mischewww! Children like this would still wind up killing themselves to matter the circumstance.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Boy turned girl u killd ur self. Cute guy like these wan be girl over nite. We human aren't loyal to GOD. Via BB bold1

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  55. Sad! But I still think the boy is stupid!

    ReplyDelete
  56. @The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s f***ed up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.
    Oyo for you. So what do I say now, may ur soul rest in peace or what?

    Optimalgoal@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  57. God never ales mistakes
    Anyway , you have to answer Ur creator now..,

    ReplyDelete
  58. I met a transgender elderly woman yesterday.. i think in her early 40's.. you could tell she's a man trapped in a womans body (as they always say). she was dressed as a full man from head to toe, i could only tell she was a woman through her boobs (not dat large tho) and even when she spoke, mehn.. u would say.. 'this ought to be a man'
    to cut d damn story short..i kept staring at her mouth agape till we left dat arena.
    oh wait..did i fail to mention she had a kid wit her too
    i guess traditions let her remain a full woman without "transitioning" lol
    well back to the news on board.. i used to think transgenderism was a psychological illness....
    mayb on second thoughts........
    hahaha...its well!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are women who turned to lesbianism because they are very physically unattractive. Look at the more famous transgenders and tell me what they've done with their struggle? It's all about the clothes and sex.

      Delete
  59. I swear I don't really understand this transgender matter. I thought they were supposed to be people with both sex organs or something to that effect?

    Has it become a feeling that you should have been the opposite of the gender you originally came into the world as?

    If dat one join, me sef don dey feel since sai I for be man o... hmmmm.

    May his soul rest in peace. *AMIN*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 2 lick pussy dey hungry you tok tru.

      Delete
  60. People that commit suicide re weak and stupid...you don't own your life God does and he didn't make a mistake when he created you as a man..the devil was the one messing with your head and he has succeeded in taking your life..rip bro

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  61. May your soul find peace as you wish .

    ReplyDelete
  62. Who am i to judge?
    REST in peace now Dear. REST in peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If we can't look at something and say it is wrong then we are setting our children up for a very immoral world. Our parents judged and we were blessed by this. Christ said, by their fruit you shall know them. You can not see wrong and be quiet.

      Delete
  63. What sort of a tin is dis? Devil is just seeking so many pple dat will be wt him thereby putting all kind of rubbish into d minds of pple.
    Suicide here n there, n dey all think dey r going 2 find peace. Ok o dats if dere is peace dia which I know doesn't exist dia.
    Every sane person knows wat is ryt but will just not want 2 accept it cos dey r made 2 believe different kind of rubbish.


    *Rmn blessed*

    ReplyDelete
  64. the worst thing about this ..is the devil leads you into thinking and feeling the way you shouldnt....and den wen he opens you up to all the hate around you.....he advices you to kill yourself....wen u do....perfect candidate of hell..

    ReplyDelete
  65. Gods word cannot be changed....if telling you the truth abouth your sexuality made u kill yourself so be it....you did not love yourself so don't blame your parents.....how can u know you were transgender at 4 years old.....that's bullshit....another lie of the devil

    ReplyDelete
  66. RIP BOYGIRL...guess you have gotten what you wanted ..."attention". Hmmmm....what a waste of God given life...Children of these days na wa o...this mindset of yours is just another lie of the devil. God help us.

    ReplyDelete
  67. @ juicy bebe, you just took words out of my mouth. The devil keeps succeeding in his deceit of humans about their sexuality. God is not stupid, he is a wise God and definitely knows why He creates us either male or female. Please we have to be alert and circumspect in these last days and remember the devil is roaming and searching for who to devour.

    ReplyDelete

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