Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of HOPE - 5


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Sunday, February 08, 2015

Chronicle Of HOPE - 5

Real life stories to give you hope......enjoy them .

Dear Stella sugar,
I would like to share the chronicles of hope story on behalf of my parents.
the key words are love patience tolerance endurance strength courage and for the younger generations a forgiving heart ,because sometimes during trying times love is not enough to sustain the marriage. 

My mum has been the pillar holding the house,they had everything good jobs,life was good in the seventies/eighties. then dad lost everything and was duped by his closest friends, and for yrs mum has borne the expenses of all of us without complaining,in-fact you wont know who runs the house financially (no one like her..super mum),because mum held her home and respected her husband as the head of the dad is the best and very caring ,have never seen them exchange blows or exchange abusive words,whatever little quarrels they have is settled immediately. 
they still play like two love birds. their love is still going strong, going to about 58yrs together (48yrs of marriage plus 10yrs of courtship)....


Wow so parents in law have been married for 54years and they have never had any misunderstanding to the extent that one person wanted out.The love between them is amazing and my father in laws eyes radiates with love when he looks at his wife who has lost her youth and shine.
I look around sometimes and see old couples,bent from old age,looking into each others eyes and smiling,holding hands and stroking and i am like there is hope!



Good day Stella, I read the comments section about a few people who want to read about marriages that have had their fair share of troubles and how they overcame.
Mine is one of such stories,i got married in 2013 and my boyfriend (hubby now) had never cheated or treated me bad for the 2 years we dated before marriage. But, it was strange immediately after marriage I got pregnant but hadn't told him because we were having issues over a young girl he started getting close to. Fast forward many months later,there was an affair.

It was my snooping skills that saved me not because I wanted my husband back,but because I didn't want him and his mistress to think I was a fool.Then I put it to him that I was aware of the affair, gave him details of who the girl is and everything that was up.
He was sad that I found out the worst way possible but till today doesn't know which outsiders helped me gather my fact .

In the end I didn't fight it I let God lead, I kept to myself and prayed for my own sanity, I went for counselling alone but was still hurting. I tongue lashed him at every second for how bad he treated me.
          But then again,had I forgotten God mends broken hearts? I ensured his own heart was broken because he never knew my next line of action and everyday he goes on his knees to beg,i wanted to leave but then again while pregnant?.Its over a year now but the pain is still there,and I said to myself who says happy marriages don't exist? 

I could have as well retaliated but to what end?I might not be completely free of the pain but I can say my hubby has been the best in mending this broken heart.Everything in our lives were perfect till this girl came along.I do not live in pity, therefore I have taken the bull by the horn and I am beginning to see love restored in my home.Plus did I tell you that each time I am sad my 8month old son acts funny.

Marriage isn't a walk in the park but with determination and him now being the one to put things in order, I see us doing so many happy years together.Will I marry him in my next life? Absolutely, he's a great father, husband and friend.

Yes,marriage isnt a walk in the park,most people go into it and are shocked that it isnt a bed of roses.
you dont even find a bed or roses,you make your own bed and decide whether you want roses or thorns.
Guess what? When you plant roses,it grows with thorns but handling it with love helps you seperate both.


  1. God is still in the biz is saving broken marriages

    1. Hi Stella. Anytime I read these chronicles, I fall in love all over again wiv my man. We are not married yet bt it's heading there...I love him so much. He is far from perfect o bt he's a good man.
      Let me share this test I did sef. So there was a time that he was annoying me, acting up n seeing other girls. My usual reaction wud hv been volatile and hostile (I hv anger problem). But I thought of how my mum used to act wen daddy was being annoying...with love. So I reached out to my man with all d love I had. D response was amazing!! N he sat up.
      Another time, I reached out wiv anger n curses. Hmm, it took grace for us to get bck o. He literally ws awful.
      This story is jst to encourage those women that hv temper issues like me. Sometimes all we need to do is shelve that anger n reach out with love n kind words. Praise him even wen he dsnt deserve it, encourage him and pray for him. Smother him with kindness. N watch him change.
      If he no change sha, dat one na devil o n I no get remedy for devil....hehehe

    2. I refuse to get scared of marriage.. .

    3. so much to learn. no two marriages r d same doh.

      What are u up to? BORED? Need a gud laugh?
      If you need a pick me up, click this link

    4. Awwww
      @ poster 1.
      People should enter marriage knowing that love is a decision, not a feeling. Feelings cam always come and go, but the commitment keeps you there even through the thick and thin of life.
      There should never be a way out in marriage. #IBelieveInTrueLove

      @poster 2: forgiveness is key.
      And we should all be careful what we do, once we break that trust, building it back can be challenging.
      God bless you both
      The bible says that in the last days, many shall be truce breakers, let's not be part of them. Stay true to your marital vows

  2. Oh,marriage is sweet if u handle ur home wella....nobody is perfect

  3. Married people makes marriage sound so terrible. But thank God there is a word such as hope. Only those with Positive Hope can live through marriage without a Hitch..

    My Heart bleeds for the borken homes. What becomes of Children from these homes. Thank God for u poster 2. It is quite too early to conclude...

    1. Marriage is a beautiful tin.
      It takes 2 understanding and patient individual 2 make it work.
      @poster1 : may God restore ur home fully.
      I pray for a happy home even tho there will be a trial moment but I believe God will grant me d grace 2 handle every tin with maturity.

    2. Too early o.
      The heart of a man is desperately wicked.
      Pls come back after 10 years and give us your testimony.

  4. a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
    Chronicle of hope..... Interesting....

  5. Replies
    1. Nice one @ poster 1, it's good you experienced the positive side of your parents relationship. But i don't think you are in the right position to speak for your parents. You as the child don't know the kind of weather they ve stormed, their ups and downs and what they overcame. What you observed is the surface of their relationship. But its a good thing you as the child wasn't exposed to the negative side of their relationship.

      @ Poster 2, when a partner cheats it hurts like hell and you literally feel your heart breaking . Oh well, It is well.

    2. @Posh Baby:it is not necessary she sees the negative side of her parents relationship, infant kudos to her parents for covering that is a lesson that we parents of this generation should emulate.
      Marriage is not a stroll in the park, God help us all and pray that we are favoured in our marriages.

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. Chronicle one
    Your folk's story reminds me of this West Life song "I wanna grow old with you,i wanna die lying in your arms....." aaawwwww.

    God please sustain I and hubby with tolerance,patience and understanding..Amen!

    Chronicle two
    My dear,i love your spirit already!
    The fact that you refused to take his cheating lying down will make him further work hard at keeping his home..
    Thank God for forgiveness. May your heart be totally healed. Do not let the devil use the past to torment you okay. Plenri hugs to u!

  8. Nice poster 1
    Poster 2, am happy for you...May God fully restore your family.

  9. Poster 1 thank God for your mum, she's just like mine.

    @Poster 2 jisie ike, The Lord is your strength.

    O God, please hear my cry and wipe my tears

  10. Nice stories. Make my hubby no cheat o. Cos if he does....i will fuck another dick. We will forgive each other and God will forgive us and we will grow stronger. I learnt alot from my parents marriage. My mum married my dad a virgin and he still cheated... I am married now to a wonderful man and great father but I do not trust...i can't trust nobody...learnt already from my parents marriage....i hope I still have a heart or even love in it. Xoxo.

  11. Thank God for u guys,finally it's good to snoop but after snooping and find out something bad put it in prayers n follow it in a matured way.

  12. Nice 1,no body should be scared of marriage!!!am so proud to be a nigerian..this part of the world they dnt really belive in marriage baby mother every were(young dude like 3 or 4 kids all different mother )same tin to their girls well they are lucky gov here give the kids money monthly...different carribean people have ask me several times how do we Africans got married and stay in it for long without devoice

    1. Abeg who gave you visa? I hope your in school over where ever you are? Fix your grammar please, my eyes were just bleeding reading your comment!

  13. I tink i'm starting 2 look forward 2 marriage nw. God help me

  14. I enjoy reading this piece cos i learn a lot from it.

  15. I don't understand the 2nd narrative but Glory be to God all the same..

  16. Hmmmmmm
    There is light @ the end of a dark tunnel

  17. It is well. @SDK lastborn, my parents are like that too o! Intact they can't drink water with separate cups while eating together! They have never slept in separate rooms. They are wonderful beings!!!

    @Poster two, try, its even good ur man knows he hurt u with A LADY not 'ladies' and is making efforts on his part to prove repentance. With that its easier to forgive than a man who would even lie when he is caught pants down! It is well with both of u.

    1. @preacher's wife,my parents were like dat too...I never for once saw dem eat seperately unless one of dem was out of town...I was very worried for my mum wen my popsy died,I didn't believe she could cope without him but the grace of God is sufficient for her

    2. Poster 1 awwww u just reminded me of my late mum, may God rest her soul.

      My parents are very good example to us. They dis everything together that up till today people still ask how my dad is coping. But God 's grace is sufficient for him.

      They bath together, eat together, drink from the same cup in short every every........

      Hmmmm.... Oh! Death where is Thy sting?
      Miss u every day mum.

  18. Thanks to both posters, this is truly encouraging and I pray my marriage lasts and work by Gods grace. My parents are still together even though its two wives and we all live today. Alive healthy and bubbling. They could make it together even after d quarels and tears so I bliv we all can make it together if only we let love patience endurance reign in our homes.

  19. Hm.....Ispiring though not izy all d way.Pls I want to advice dat marriage is not for boys and girls but for men and women at heart.Its for those ready to work at it to make it work not those ready to recieve d good it gives and not give it back.

  20. Women forgiving men of infidelity and working hard to rebuild their mess since 1800

    Men eating their cakes and having it since 1100

    With this rate of I wanna build m'home, don't I just wish I were a man? U do as it pleases u, cry her a river on bended knees, she forgives u and even works extremely harder than before to keep u...

    Meanwhile, everything gets easier. Because now she's aware and fully ready to believe the fault is from the devil and poor strange woman out there. Ikegwuru...

    Smh!!! This world, Damn too unfair to women

    *i'm out*

    1. Hmmm

      So true

      God dey


    2. Dear my opinion,id appreciate if u have a better understanding abt what poster 2 wrote cos everything u wrote isn't what she narrated.Prolly I didn't read the same narrative with you then.

      Darling,a mature woman took courage to write down this story and this is what u could make out of it? No woman asked God to make her a woman inugo nne.

      Furthermore, there was no where she said she was working hard @ mending her marriage,she said hubby begs everyday and works hard to restore love in the home.Why? It's his job he messed their lives up. @ least for the first time we've seen a woman confront hubby and not the mistress.

      My dearest,I think u shud review what u read and what ur opinion is cos even if u r a man in ur next world, u only need a mature one like this one to understand that not all women will abandon their homes @ the sight of problems.Neither will they go on their knees to beg d man to fix it.Heres a strong woman who's worked on herself and has left her hubby to fix his shit.Im sure u understand this better now.

    3. Ike gwuru nwannem. It's is truly a man's world

    4. @my opinion , My thoughts exactly ,poster2, pls wait till another 5years b4 writing about a cheating hubby .....a leopard never changes his colour. I'm so out

    5. @ My opinion.
      My dear you finish talk.
      Thank God I eventually opened this post.
      I love your comment, my heart warmed up with joy when I saw your comment cos I was beginning to feel I'm the only one who felt women have made themselves doormats of marriage just to be called home builders abi na home makers
      It's a pity that women have been so brainwashed into believing that they are the reason their husbands cheat and even work hard to clean up his mess at the first drop of his fake tears.
      They are quick to blame the devil instead of making their hubby's accept they were wrong.

      When a woman cheats, she will be called all sorts of demeaning names and even gets thrown out by her husband who might have secretly cheated on her severally.
      No one cares to listen to her reasons.
      No one remembers that she is also human and can be tempted by the devil just like men.
      No one wants her to be given a 2nd chance.
      No one cares to know if she has sincerely repented.
      She will be taunted with it for the rest of her life even if she was eventually 'forgiven' by her husband.


      Oh well, whatever rocks anyone's boat!

    6. God bless you @salt E. I wonder the kind of homes some of you come from and intend to make. Keep dreaming marriage is where breakfast will be served u daily in bed. U all should grow up.
      @mk 8, God has restored her home and her man and nothing will break it. Keep praying for her marriage to come down in 5years instead of concentrating on your self, mtcheeeew.
      poster 2, may God bless your home and keep your husbands' heart safe from evil. The blessings of God adds no sorrow, your hubby will be a source of joy and peace in your home and not otherwise. It shall be permanent.

  21. Poster2,forgive him and move on....
    Men can beg for Africa and expect you to forgive and forget easily but if it's the other way round,omo you go see nwiii.....

  22. My parents have been married for 35 years, they have 7 kids together... For as long as I have been knowledgeable, I've never heard my parents fight, keep malice, exchange words or anything of the sort.
    As a matter of fact, when my mum hears that men cheat on their wives it sounds so foreign to her, like it's an impossibility. My father leaves the house by 9am and before 2pm he's back home. Weekends he's home all through except they r going out together.
    I bless my parents for bringing us up in the most peaceful home ever imagined.
    I was living in Lala land believing that's the way life is supposed to be for everyone until I entered Uni in 2005 and started experiencing real life BS in the name of relationships, till date I still haven't gotten it right. Lol...

    1. 10,20,30,40,50,60,70,80 yrs etc of couples staying married peacefully is worth celebrating. So I raise my cup and says cheers for any couple who has defended their marriage against all odds.

    2. It happened to me too. I grew up not knowing that my parents idyllic marriage was the norm and I wasn't emotionally prepared for less. You can imagine how traumatised I've been in relationships and in my marriage cos I've not been able to reconcile my parents example and what I have experienced and also passing thru currently in marriage. I sometimes wish that my parents should have quarrelled a few times to prepare me for reality.I dont know if I'm an idealist cos I should have learnt from stories and books and movies that marriage is not a fairy tale.

  23. stella, my own wow go pass ur own, wow wow wow, 54yrs of marriage,ur inlaws tried, I join in celebrating them. sometimes u wonder ow these old ma and pa achieved it. But one thing my mum keeps telling me is dis have patience(ma ni suru) and always watch and weigh ur utterances becos words are like egg once spoken can nvr be taken back. I dey pray everyday make I get dat kind patience(suru)

  24. Lol. What do you expect, when women are the home makers? Originally it is our duty to make our home the way we want it. But anyway, it's not always like that. The other day we read of a lady that her husband tolerated all her attitudes and even continued to show love to her when she was misbehaving. Sometimes it's the other way round too.

  25. Yea marriage can be sweet, but not all sweet. Making a good home depends on d partners involved, u can decide on d one u want, a good home or a bad one. I used to envy a couple during my secondary school, anytime we av break, I will always like to pass tru dia compound on my way home bc I was boarder. U will see dem playing together n putting flowers on dia hairs as old as de were den, n I will say a little prayer, Lord pls let mine be like dis, but I discovered de were able to reach dt level bc both of dem wanted d rship n put in dia best to make it work. Dts d lesson dia, wen anyone of dem is at fault, d faulter recognise, accepts his/her mistakes n apologizes.

  26. Dis is really chronicles of hope.......stella tanks for dis idea and bvs bringing in dere story may God Continue to bless ur marriage

  27. Dear Mr or miss opinion,Did u read anywhere poster 2 said she wanted oga husband back? Or did u read anywhere she said he cheated but she worked hard @ keeping the marriage? No she said she gave him a dose of his own medicine my dear,she said he is the one doing the begging and mending of d marriage not her.She said she believes happy marriages are out there meaning she ain't willing to die for ogas mistake therefore as he has begged and isn't doing it again what shud she do? Say she ain't marrying no more? @ least these r d lines I picked from poster 2.Im sure u understand better now?Plus did I forget to mention she confronted him so he n d mistress will know she's no fool.@ least not like some that will be confronting mistress.

  28. Interesting

  29. Lol.
    My opinion, your opinion is so apt.


  30. Please where is the chronicle of hope

    I can't see it
    Am I on the wrong post?


  31. @My opinion; I jst love u. Let's b friends. U make sense die

  32. @ My Opinion; I jst love ur comment. Let's b friends. U make sense die

  33. thank God for these chronicle of hope. in my own view i think it should come 3 times a week. these testimonies could save a breaking home.

  34. I like this chronicles of hope, it really helps n encourages we married people.

  35. I wish I could divorce dis bastard. Uncontrollable pursuing of women,texting crap for no good reason

  36. It will always be well IJN. No matter what the devil's plans are to destroy happy homes, he won't succeed.

  37.'s well
    Dis tin called "marriage " eeeh
    Only God ooo...Only God,!!!

    If u are single and yet to be married,biko relax and enjoy ur singlehood while it lasts...
    Take ur time...
    Follow ur dreams
    Cos a time will come..
    U'll long for freedom
    To live d way u used to
    But DH no go gree...
    The big task of keeping ur home
    Cooking his meals
    Keeping him warm
    Cleaning and washing...
    Tending to the kids
    E no easy ooo...
    U nid someone that can make u smile while at all these tasks...
    U nid a matured man...
    A homely man
    Who understands wat it means to be a father,mentor,brother,husband,confidant,teacher,

    He will annoy you oooo
    After all the sweet bouts of lovemaking
    Don't be surprised if a big fight comes up
    Sometimes u ask urself if u made a mistake marrying this person...
    Marriage is nt easy.
    It takes the grace of God.

    4get all dis lovey dovey dt people's nt the real tin...

    Marriage takes lots and lots of hardwork esp. from the side of a woman...If ur nt ready to take bullshits frm ur man,forgive him wen he errs...u neva start..infact ur nt ready yet.

    And if ur stubborn and hot tempered as I am(God is working on my case)...U beta start fasting and praying for God to help u mellow down...If not the loubs u wore for ur wedding will be replaced with Usain Bolt's running shoes...

    @Mma Cee, Iphie dearie, OliviaSilk,Chinyere....thank u sooo much.

    It's well...I love chronicles of hope...
    God is in control...Amen.

    1. Amen chy sugar honey.
      God bless your marriage nne m.

    2. I jist re read your post and I can't stop LOL @ usain bolts shoes.
      And you said d truth, you really need an understanding and patient man to really enjoy your marriage.

    3. More from where this is coming from Chysugar. We pray people like you with real understanding come out to talk about these things. Have we really asked ourselves how are mothers from days past came out in flying colours over the years?Ladies of now adays might even say it is because our mothers accepted the bull shit our fathers dished out to them(that aside)but have we asked ourselves what our mothers did and we of this generation didn't even try to do the half.
      Civilization has really blinded alot of us(aside from cheating and violence which I don't condone)lot of we ladies are not fit to be wives because we don't have the qualities. Our nature is to be builders but how does a carefree, non submissive, lousy,nonchalant woman build her home? Aside the men who have their own short comings we women need alot of lecturing about life,marriage then our stories will change.
      Stella thank once again for this platform, you won't realise how much impact all these stories have in our lives. God help us all.

  38. Really learning how to be a good wife, so help me God

  39. @ my opinion.....the world is truly unfair to women. God help us.

  40. Four years back, if I had known about Stella's blog, maybe I could have put my business out here and be able to save my marriage..............or maybe not.

    Aunty Stella you have a gift and God is using you to save lives and homes. If I knew things I know now, maybe things would have ended differently but I thank God all the same and looking forward to a new home and fresh start.

    I will share my story on this blog, sometime this year, but for everyone going through a difficult time in their marriage, don't give up, divorce should not be an option.




  42. Poster1, thank God for ur parents, may almighty God bless bless and guide them ijn. Amen. Poster2 it is never easy to forget, how ur loved one cheated on you, if you have forgiving him, you better forget the past, or else it will hunt you like your shadow, make up your mind and forget, so you can move forward and have a happy home. God bless

  43. Marriage is not a walk in the park. It is for better and for worse. When the storms of life blows , we don't get drowned in it. I have learnt and am still learning that when I get married whether hell or high waters, just stay in. Separation will never be an option

  44. @poster1&2, i thank God for both of you. May God continue to be the pillar your homes :0

  45. Very unfair dear and you have to behave as if nothing happened or has happened between you guys because he believe he wronged and has apologized and expect everything to be like sure take a real large heart to be in a marriage cos you have to keep forgiving yourselves or the Mr Man in the marriage.

  46. Interesting and inspiring stories...

    God pls keep all dis home wreckers far away from our homes.


  47. There's indeed hope.....may God continue to Bless ur marriages @ both posters

  48. Thank u BVs for d's write up...may d good lord continue to strengthen ur home.

  49. May God continue 2 bless ur marriage. Am Really inspired.

  50. My parents have been married for 43years and still counting. And they are still waxing stronger. Leaving isnt the solution to a stressful marriage.

  51. P2...Thank you for telling women that it is not just them that keep a home. Ladies when your man cheats, sit there and be blaming everybody but him. See how she is making him work. THAT IS HOW IT IS. The couple makes the marriage not just a woman.

    P1..Good one.

  52. If all the parents that have been married for so long with good homes should talk. Am sure they will have much to say. Not that they don't argue but they resolved issues and worked hard at keeping their homes. May God bless our homes n teach us how to keep it happy.

  53. Am married to an amazing man! One of a kind.i read stories here and I can't help but thank God for ds man he gave me.its 10 yrs already with three wonderful kids. I hold no regrets at all.he is not perfect just like I am not too, but he's worth every sacrifice and commitment I ve made to ds hubby rocks. Love u bae of love, love u my friend and partner, love u my greatest critics, love u d father of my kids#proudmumandwife#

    1. God will continue to sustain your love and family, Amen. Kisses and hugs.

  54. #1. Honey, I'm glad you grew up watching your parents exhibit an exemplary love. Most children inadvertently copy the  behavioural patterns ‎from their parents or guardians. It's not a rule of thumb, though, but in most cases girls emulate the way their mums react to various situations, same way boys do their fathers. From what you wrote, I can say you have the potential of being a good wife. I love the reliability of "old school love"

    #2: ‎Awwwww, my darling, I can only imagine how hurt you must have been when things started unfolding. It's one thing to marry a man who had already revealed some questionable traits during courtship, at least you wouldn't be too astounded if some of those traits become more apparent after marriage. It's a whole different ball game, however, when you marry someone who never made you question his fidelity during courtship only to be suckerpunched by reality of his infidelity. I'm glad you were able to work things out.

    Honey, your marriage is relatively young and there may be other challenges ahead. As trite as this may sound, one of the ways to weather matrimonial storms is forgiveness( I know, it's easier said than practised). Luck is even on your side because you are blessed to have a hubby who tries to atone for his indiscretions. Some men are so blatant with infidelity and they wear it on their sleeves as though it is within their rights. Thank God you have a good man. I pray God grants you the grace of perseverance and your hubby the ability to love you the way God intended husbands to love their wives.

    1. Always on point Ronalda,God will continue to increase and replenish your fountain of knowledge and understanding, Amen.

  55. 32 years of marriage. He decided he doesn’t love me anymore, can’t live with me anymore is leaving.

    I am so depressed and cannot sleep eat or do anything. I cant use the diversion advice, everything leads to him in my daily thoughts, dreams and wishes. I am despondent. I did nothing wrong. He decided he just didn’t want any responsibility anymore even tho I did everything anyway,

    we both recently retired and I thought I could spend the rest of my life in retirement with my husband of 32 years. now I am alone, sad, depressed and can’t function. I cry 24 hours a day and don’t know how to get out of this depression and hope and want. I still love him very much he doesn’t want me. i decided recently to discuss this my problem with a friend of my Regina. she introduce me to a spiritual father via his email a powerful spiritual doctors. to cut my stories short. Dr Joel spiritual father was the man who help me bring my lovely husband back to my life 24 hours ago. if you have any Relationship or marriage problem, i advice you to contact him: for help....

  56. 32 years of marriage. He decided he doesn’t love me anymore, can’t live with me anymore is leaving.

    I am so depressed and cannot sleep eat or do anything. I cant use the diversion advice, everything leads to him in my daily thoughts, dreams and wishes. I am despondent. I did nothing wrong. He decided he just didn’t want any responsibility anymore even tho I did everything anyway,

    we both recently retired and I thought I could spend the rest of my life in retirement with my husband of 32 years. now I am alone, sad, depressed and can’t function. I cry 24 hours a day and don’t know how to get out of this depression and hope and want. I still love him very much he doesn’t want me. i decided recently to discuss this my problem with a friend of my Regina. she introduce me to a spiritual father via his email a powerful spiritual doctors. to cut my stories short. Dr Joel spiritual father was the man who help me bring my lovely husband back to my life 24 hours ago. if you have any Relationship or marriage problem, i advice you to contact him: for help....


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