Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmm The Ex factor ........sometimes the past just stays and refuses to go away!

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

FINDING CLOSURE WITH AN EX

Hello BVs,

Here is a short but true story.

I came from a home where I was thought to have a high self esteem as a girl. I was blessed with the looks and body so my mother was always ringing it in my ears, men are bad news! being her only daughter i never wanted to dissapoint her. All through my teenage years I was very careful of men, even in the Uni I kept alot to myself and tried as much to stay clear of men.

A year to my grad, I met a guy (I had met loads and loads of guys before this young man and I stood my ground), but this guy started asking me out, I thought as usual he will get tired like the rest and leave me alone. But he was different and kept pestering me. I told him I will not be sleeping with him at no point or time in our relationship and he said he was fine with it.

Now this guy was quite handsome, infact very handsome , very intelligent, nice and wealthy for a guy less than 30yrs old then. 

He treated me like a baby princess and we were both fond of each other. Little did I know that my guy had Phd in acting (He was a Smooth Operator), I never caught him with a lady, we are from different ethnic group so we communicated only in English, but I suspected most times his on the phone with ladies he changes from English Lang to his dialect.

Anyway after my uni, he asked what I wanted to do next I said probably masters in a top UK University but I will need to work abit and get the rest of the funds from my parents.

By now I was so so comfortable with my guy, and was sleeping over at his once a while, he still didn't pester me for sex but he always said I will give in soon. On my 24th birthday he wasn't around he had traveled to the UK and came back only a week after and he said my birthday gift was him paying for ALL my Tuition, my Rental in the UK and pocket money all through my stay and even few trips back to Nigeria. I was so HAPPY, I wasn't really shocked because he had spoilt me a lot of times before.

He helped me back then secure a visa, we travelled together did all the school runs in the UK and came back to Nigeria to apply for the "Student Visa", he even suggested I apply as his wife and we do a fake marriage certificate since that would increase my visa chances for reasons like I can use his Bank Statements etc, silly me I agreed but later changed my mind because I had to do a passport with his name as my last name, thank God I changed my mind.

I eventually got the Visa and my guy did all he promised even gave me pocket money, I felt surely this is my husband and eventually slept with him severally (HUGE MISTAKE), he kept to his promise all through and even came to visit couple of times, but this guy was a CASSANOVA in Sheepskin, infact I found out he has so many sleeping partners to the extent he was sleeping with his neighbors niece who was 17-18yrs old (no wonder she always frowned whenever she saw me). 

He uses his money to get any woman he wants.

We eventually drifted apart, I finished school got a job and decided to stay put, I even found my husband in all this and he did pay dearly for my Exs crime, but he understood me, stuck with me and we have been married for over 2.5years now.

Early last year Mr. Ex sent an email, I responded even telling him am married and all, he had the guts to tell me that he is my first love and so many other things, like how he groomed me into a woman, etc and I can't abandon him. I told him i am married he said that's ok but when he is ready I shall be his. The plonker has relocated to the US all this time.

I made a huge mistake by accepting to see him, just for closure and so he sees I moved on well without him. Guess what when I eventually saw this guy we hugged so tightly and I was shocked at myself! We spoke and I told him I love my husband and don't intend leaving him. The Smooth Operator said when i am ready to leave my husband he is there in Maryland, US waiting.. And i suspect this guy might be married.

Thank God I decided to cut communication (God used Stella back then to slap some sense into me) with this guy again or else I could have given in to his sweet words as usual.

At times I feel he used jazz on me, i have been able to cut off all links, he doesn't have my number and I don't have his. I find myself thinking about him sometimes but most of it is how I would have ended up if I married him.

Am sure he is a serial lover in Nigeria, UK, USA infact everywhere.

I keep wondering.... Probably like the lady in the Tyler Perry's Movie (Temptation of a marriage counsellor)

May I add this isn't the first time I get messages from guys, in between my Ex and Husband I had few flings ( they were not serious), I have gotten emails from at tleast 2 of them in the last 3yrs which I don't bother replying. But with my EX it was different. I look forward to his emails.

I haven't communicated with him in over a year and I don't intend to forever, God help me.

But i am learning to let go totally, it's a slow process but i am making good progress.

Any married woman in the house gone through such from their EX?

I still have an ex i dream about but he's different and respects that we cant be together anymore,He respects marriage but is divorced and has kids from different women..he's a smooth one,tall,handsome and looks he walked out from a playboy mag......I don't how easy it is for men but a woman NEVER forgets the first man she loved,especially if he was good to her. *Side eyes at DH if he's reading this*

You will be fine  as long as you stay strong and stay away from that ex!