Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Pastor Anita Oyakhilome Breaks Silence... Says 'I Had A Choice To Either Beat Myself Over The Regret Of Tolerating Abuse For So Long Or Put A Stop To The Abuse And Rrecreate My Life For The best

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Monday, August 17, 2015

Pastor Anita Oyakhilome Breaks Silence... Says 'I Had A Choice To Either Beat Myself Over The Regret Of Tolerating Abuse For So Long Or Put A Stop To The Abuse And Rrecreate My Life For The best

If you recall in 2014, Pastor Chris Oyakhilome and his beautiful wife Anita, who now goes by her maiden name Ebhodaghe caused quite a stir when news of their imminent divorce hit the net.



The divorce which was filed in April 9, 2014 at Divorce Section A, Central Family Court, First Avenue House, High Holborn, London, United Kingdom on the grounds of “unreasonable behaviour” had everyone talking but Anita kept quiet and for the first time since that divorce,She is speaking...


She took to her interactive blog to discuss how her life has has changed for the better and made reference to her marriage. She wrote:

''It is my desire to reach out and inspire you especially if you feel vulnerable and in need of a change. I hope to inspire you to believe in yourself no matter the circumstances. I want to help you recreate your life going forward, so you can live beautifully. I have been through this journey of rediscovery and nothing is as beautiful as realising one’s uniqueness as I have done. Life is a precious however, your life can go through different seasons: winter, spring, summer or autumn. Life can hit you with financial loss, disappointments, death of a loved one, a broken relationship, loss of a job, a divorce, being falsely accused or being a victim of crime. These can shatter you to pieces but you can do something about it.


Life is a gift from God and you deserve to be happy irrespective of your age, race, gender, background or financial situation. I urge you to appreciate the gift you are, you are precious and valuable. Never lose sight of who you are; begin to create new visions and dreams for your life. Let nothing stop you from growing every day. My story is not one of a bed of roses, far from it but I had a choice to either beat myself over the regret of tolerating abuse for so long or put a stop to the abuse and recreate my life for the best. My journey was not in vain. I can now help others realise that their situation does not define them.


In order to move on with life, I have come to realise that nothing is permanent. Your problem is not permanent; you can do something to change it by ensuring you do not allow the situation or the person make your life miserable. Pain is a fact of life, it is inevitable but suffering is optional. You can do something to change the pain by over looking every obstacle, take control as a force of nature to grow and expand. Do what is necessary now to use the gift God has given you to unleash your purpose.


 My message to all is simple: you have value therefore discover your potential. Do not allow anybody destroy you or rob you of living a joyful life. Your life is not wasted; you have just started a different phase of life. God will show you how to use your testimony to help others and restore their lives to exuberance. Please join me to encourage and inspire others. You have a story to tell, you can contribute and participate in the dialogues here. Let us all learn from one another’s experience and reach others with the gift of love and kindness. Share your experience by emailing me or making a comment. Celebrate your uniqueness because there is only one of you''.




In another post titled ''There is always something to be thankful for''


she says '' One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”  Michael J. Fox 


After an abusive relationship or marriage, there is no doubt you will have feelings of deep sorrow for a long time, which could go on for possibly months or even years. These feelings will come and go periodically as you reflect and you remember things from the past that would make you feel distressed. 


You may be inundated with disappointments, which may lead you to voice your regrets, especially coming across certain people or a person. Several Instances could cause flashbacks and bring back thoughts of regret such as; signing a contract, making a decision, joining an organization, trusting people, buying a property. Also your mind would question why you hung unto a dead marriage or stayed in an abusive relationship. Don't stay in that condition for too long. Regrets will only aggravate your feelings. 


Forget about the things you cannot change and focus on being thankful. Don’t put your life on hold, rather plan what you would like to accomplish in one week, one month, three months and in a year’s time. 
See the silver lining in the cloud. You may struggle to find or observe that flicker of light emerging out of the darkness but give yourself time to recover from that shocking hopeless experience, then thank God for making you strong enough to walk away from the abuse. The situation might be tough, with burdensome chains, but you will get better. You can rise up to the challenge and improve yourself. Something good will come out of your situation. 


You will become a stronger and more productive person when you learn from your experience and use your knowledge to improve yourself for new prospects ahead. “I want my life to bring comfort to others and I am on that journey now thankfully”. Every ending is really a new beginning for beautiful opportunities ahead.''


CLICK HERE TO VISIT HER BLOG


Pastor Anita operates a modern day blog like mine and replies comments herself!........yeah!
I asked for permission to cull her posts so if you all go there to comment show that you are from this blog and behave yourselves comment wise..lol

BLESS!




121 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Abuse could come in various forms
      Don't be a rumor peddler
      It could have been emotional abuse please
      Until she comes out and says it was physical, it is open to interpretation.

      Delete
    2. God bless her


      Make COZA wife dey deer dey take all the shit wen her husband dey give her...hope he won't give her HIV someday

      Some pastors shaa

      @Galore

      Delete
    3. Some may argue that her's is not different from the everyday abuse that some women endure in marriage. Albeit verbal abuse. But they forget that her case was a peculiar one because of her position of authority as a wife of a "man of God"...and as a counsellor herself whom many in their organisation looked up to. Imagine the process it would take to make public to those u preach to, that u are in fact going through a form of abuse which has left u perpetually scared and unhappy while u put up a happy face. It's a torture that no woman should be made to endure.

      Hence, when I see women like Anita breakthrough, I applaud their bravery and hope that they can get their lives and happiness back.

      Delete
    4. Ayamatanga high school18 August 2015 at 08:20

      I LOL @ behave yourselves😂Stella knows her children wella cos we fit go there go misyarn

      Delete
  2. No be only behave. We go show ourselves naa. Afterall we no bad reach oyibo people wey de draw blood along their comments. Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pastor Chris de beat woman?? Choi... Nothing person no go hear, I WILL NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER AGAIN.

      Delete
    2. Abuse could come in various forms
      Don't be a rumor peddler
      It could have been emotional abuse please
      Until she comes out and says it was physical, it is open to interpretation.

      Delete
    3. Abuse could come in various forms
      Don't be a rumor peddler
      It could have been emotional abuse please
      Until she comes out and says it was physical, it is open to interpretation.

      Delete
    4. Abuse could come in various forms
      Don't be a rumor peddler
      It could have been emotional abuse please
      Until she comes out and says it was physical, it is open to interpretation.

      Delete
  3. You're sending your voltrons to her blog. Goodluck to her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment crack me real bad..lamoooo..the voltrons on this blog..lip sealed

      Delete
    2. Lol, she needs all the luck she can get. Bvs pls easy on her

      Delete
  4. Na wayaaaaaa!!!
    Running to d blog..
    Everybody get their own issues no matter how rosy their lives seem..

    ReplyDelete
  5. a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
    .
    Trust nigerians nw, them go there go dey ask stupid questions nw....
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rotfl @behave urself comment wise, you sabi ur BVs wella with their bad mouth whereas na u we dey 4lo wen it comes that

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmao. The first time I read a comment about SDK, the person called it a war zone, so I ran here to confirm it, and seriously, the person is not far from the truth

      To Anita, divorce is pardonable but I hope you can live with the condition, which is to remain single till your ex-husband dies. And that man doesn't look like he's gonna die soon... Wishing you the very best

      Delete
    2. So Anita can't remarry but Chris can says who? RELIGION!

      Delete
    3. Yes..Christian religion says so. ."till death do you part" u are not allowed to do a church wedding. .no pastor or priest go gree wed u sef..This goes to d man and wife also

      Delete
    4. Abeg. Once they are legally divorced each can remarry. Wait till he dies how? Nonsense. If to remarry dey hungry her she had better remarry and move on with her life. Unless she decides to face her ministry and God.

      Delete
  7. Nice one
    You may fall,you may fail,you may hit rock bottom,but as long as there is life,there will always be hope.

    Life is beautiful, Live it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hmmm...being supposedly abused by ur husband who is a pastor,na waaa ooo.

    All these self acclaimed men of God of nowadays sha.

    I still stand to be corrected,most churches are just simply business ventures;noting more nothing less

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Business ventures with wonderful profits o. Chai. No be lie u talk

      Delete
    2. U dont judge from a one sided argument.

      Delete
  9. Very nice, thoughtful and courageous of her.
    Marriage is not a do or die affair.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Na wa. God help our women to see the light. To see that a man cannot validate us. We are special and we should see ourselves so. Sorry for the pain you went through Ma. It is well.

    Abuse everywhere so not common to the ordinary man on the street.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lol @ behave yourselves. Even you know say na foolish people plenty here pass.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am bless, I am inspired to live a life that defines me. My favorite lines is 'I have been through this journey of rediscovery and nothing is as beautiful as one recovering one's uniqueness as I av done.' Thank you pastor Anita, I think all those sending in chronicles should read the article, all the answers you're seeking for is there.
    I really need to visit her blog for more inspiration.
    God bless ya

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What inspiration? A woman who for many years inspired people through Rhapsody of Realities and the pulpit now is saying those were years of abuse. How can we then believe what we are hearing now? She may later back-pedal tomorrow and say it is the devil's work. Why do people turn around to demonise others just because of disagreement. I wonder what inspiration you hope to find from this.

      Delete
  13. She is a strong Woman indeed.
    God bless her.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Walking out of relationships that do not make you happy is adifficult one to do especially when you are in public eyes. Keeping up appearances and acting all loving is the order of the day as they try to live up the expectations society placed on me. As long as she has peace of mind and is doing great, that's all that matters. We should be responsible for what makes us happy and not seek societal validation to live our lives the best possible way.

    To read interesting stories, pls visit my blog www.vivienadaeze.blogspot.com

    Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  15. Keep ur pravate life private.Chris and Anita are not good example of how christians should behave.The kind of Christianity people practise these days is bread and butter christianity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mumu... So she should continue suffering in silence abi...

      Delete
    2. Please shut that hole in your face. I was a member of Christmas Embassy for years and believe me I know to an extent what goes on there. There is a lot of manipulation, lies, eye service and oppression. Pastor Anita has suffered in silence for too long. I support her. It is better to walk away from situations that are poisonous and destructive while you can. Am happy she has found peace. Marriage is good and worth it when BOTH parties are willing to make it work. Pastor Chris has really abandoned this woman. She has been lonely for years and still expected to paint a perfect picture/ keep up with appearances. Dying in silence is not what Christianity is about. God said he has not given us the spirit of fear but of POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND. Let Pastor Anita fulfil her mission on earth and make heaven in the end. That is the ultimate.

      -Fearless Orobo

      Delete
    3. Orobo bam you said it all

      Delete
  16. I shed my SDK-ness as I move to check out that blog. Jesus,fix me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. BITCH


      - Fearless Orobo

      Delete
    2. Lol.I shed mine too

      Delete
    3. Chai! I forget to shed my own and I comment. My comment wasn't that bad sha.

      Delete
    4. Craze people..lol

      Delete
  17. This is really sad. not good for the christendom, i mean i was i the ministry of Christ Embassy for 10 years before i got married to a non member so i dont find this funny at all. This is a family i so much admired. well thats life! #jojo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank God your husband took you away from that ministry. Am sure by now you have realised that a lot of things were not right about their doctrines. By the way, you are a wise girl. Some of our sisters in that ministry go tanda for there waiting to marry an already made brother in the ministry. I hope u were not shagging your husband before marriage o. I know howhow Christ Embassy girls are. I was one. Preachy on the outside and flirty behind closed doors.

      -Fearless Orobo

      Delete
    2. Thank God you fearless Orobo the preachy outside but flirty behind closed doors has bn removedfrom among us

      Delete
    3. Salvation is personal, if u decide to be flirty behind closed doors@fearless orobo, u wanted it, it wasn't the church that talked u into it. I know of some up right gals that ll not do what u did in d ministry, not a member any more though but what i knew about my identity in Christ came through that ministry, why looking for the fault n criticism.

      Delete
  18. This is just crap and not the main thing. We v been hearing inspirational talks like this right from the days of nebuchadenezar and if I need one now, I ll go pay money and attend one.
    Ehe madam what actually happend(amebo face)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lol@ "behave yourselves" like mama wey her pikin dem wan go visit person

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lexy Nwokeoma, so you're an SDK? With even your full name? Adonblivit. Chi Austin

      Delete
  20. Hmmm, I await the day she'll drop the full gist but till then I celebrate with her in this new journey of life. Kisses!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Strong women always bounce back to their feet no mata hw bad it was...
    The Lord is ur strength ma'am...!!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hmmm, I await the day she'll drop the full gist but till then I celebrate with her in this new journey of life. Kisses!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Life must go on no matter what. I really thought they've settled their issues. It's well.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Lol@behave urselves,so u sef know say u have Bv's that are always on their worst behaviours na...issorite!
    So it's confirmed she had to leave!i am happy that she didn't stay to die in a bad marriage becos of doctrines!....yes God hates divorce,but if the ship of ur marriage is sinking and ur life is at risk,i believe even God understands.
    I am glad she's happy with herself jare,marriage in overrated abeg!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. Everyone has the right to be happy. Doctrine or not biko

      Delete
  25. Stella wen ar yu organizing SDK party in d east . What is good 4 d goose , is it not also good 4 d gander . We go behave ourself ma & again , tell us d name of her blog .

    ReplyDelete
  26. Lol
    See warning to blog visitors to respect themselves
    Respect is reciprocal

    ReplyDelete
  27. she looks beautiful: much better than in the pictures we used to see of her on christ embassy publications

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly I couldn't believe it was her when I first saw the pix, some marriages na war walai

      Delete
  28. Stella I love you so much, thank you for telling them to behave......lol

    ReplyDelete
  29. I still cant believe this, thank God for a strongher you Anita.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I am happy for her that she has rediscovered herself and is in a happier place.

    ReplyDelete
  31. hahahahahahaa....Stella what do u take us for??? still laughing @"behave yourselves".... funny woman. na u we dey resemble naa...lmaoooo.. but u no drop the link to the blog naa..lol

    ReplyDelete
  32. All of you coming here with bad bad chronicles, u better open that blog and learn.. "lean on me no means say u go press me diee"... in other words, it's not a do die affair..all ye ride or die chicks.. I fit ride but why must i be the one to die biko???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chai sdk pikin bad mouth everywere, lean on me no mean say you go press me lol

      Delete
  33. So they are still divorced?

    OK o.
    Goodluck to her congregants.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hahahahahahahaa..Nah real behave yourselves..hehehehehe..

    ReplyDelete
  35. Is she painting an hypothetical situation or is the abuse mirrored in these 'memoirs ' stemmed from Pastor Chris? Before the veil was removed, they wore a toga of perfection while counselling other couples as if they were immuned from human fallacy.  

    It is our CONFESSION  and not the PRIEST that gives us, absolution.  If you understand the above premise, then you will seek God yourself and not rely on Pastorpreneurs who sell mind candies in exchange for reverence, awe and all forms of gratification. ‎

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want you. Smarty pants.

      Delete
    2. Spot on Kenny. Brilliant words!

      Delete
    3. Don't I love you kemny??

      "It is our CONFESSION  and not the PRIEST that gives us, absolution."! Word!!

      Delete
    4. Kehinde I missed you jor. Where's omslaw I miss his teeth.

      Delete
    5. Abeg no who write big grammar sabi english pass jare. Nigerians with big big oyinbo in their lives sentences! Hian!!

      In other news, goodluck to pastor mrs abi na miss......

      Delete
  36. Really nice write up..
    I liked the part where she said 'life is precious. however, your life can go through different seasons:winter, spring,summer or autumn'

    ReplyDelete
  37. And I wanted them to reconcile.*sad face*

    She knows what is best for her,so I wish her all the happiness in life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They will come back because weare praying. The same God that brought Benny Hinn and hiswife willl do the samw. God is d same yesterday,todah and forever

      Delete
  38. Very courageous......marriage no be by force

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Pain is a fact of life, it is inevitable but suffering is optional. You can do smtn to change d pain by taking control as a force of nature to grow and expand'
      I love this write up
      Stella get mouth,we dey learn from u,even people that came here quiet are now talking,e.g check out Cynthia Iyede's comments these days *runs away*
      Anita,I wld hv loved it,if its possible,I reali wish u two cld settle.
      Just saying tho.

      Delete
    2. Woman be "knowledgible".
      After deep words like this,some women will still send in useless chronicles asking for advice.
      the greatest problem of an average Nigerian women is lack of self-worth.
      As necessary as marriage may be,u don't have to lose urself in the process..if his happiness will cost u yours then by all means stay by urself.
      nobody can love u the u do.

      Delete
  39. Hmmmmmmm, abuse could be physical or verbal or otherwise, whichever it is, it doesn't make it right...As humans we fail, we fall, Anita thank God for you!!! Pastor Chris you are human pls seek God's face and seek a higher anointing to advise and pray for you, nor dey do general overseer then devil go dey use ur ministry do tiko tiko....#enoughSaid#

    ReplyDelete
  40. I visited d blog thanks to Stella,now I know about it,very inspiring words there,she will definitely get traffic on her blog. The blog atmosphere is so cool I felt like staying there all through, lol.Stella I would like u to do yours to be better,I won't say do it like hers cause everyone is different. But here is my number one home anyday.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I'm hapy for her.Never been a fan of Christ Embassy anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I love her message it's very encouraging and inspiring,those women who want to die in their husband house take a clue

    ReplyDelete
  43. see stella advising us to behave ourselves as in we be unruly kids e kwa?...anyways na 4 those wey de go the blog..#takenote

    ReplyDelete
  44. Thank God for her life.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I am truly happy for her.
    Wishing you the best ma'am.
    Off to visit her.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Poster 2 from yesterday's Chronicle, I hope you are reading this?

    ReplyDelete
  47. Pastor Chris look too gentle

    ReplyDelete
  48. Pastor Anita, thank God for you, many don't live to tell their story as they gradually become a recluse and suicidal. I was a member, had to leave cos certain biblical truth were lacking before my original hair turn to Dada.

    ReplyDelete
  49. It is well. I love her

    ReplyDelete
  50. I was told in pre- marital counseling class, that marriage isn't spiritual.
    Marriage won't be practiced in heaven.

    That phrase made me to really think deep .
    In other words !!! Find your purpose!
    Marriage isn't a do or die affair,
    Do not lose yourself in the process

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They lied... Marriage is spiritual but won't be practiced in heaven.... U must seek Gods face before u marry....it is the joining of two bodies in convenant, that is spiritual.. But u also need to use the sense God have you

      Delete
  51. Nigerians can jump into conclusion shaaaa.where did she write in her post she was beaten by pastor chris?she dint say so,so why conclude for her?well i wish her well in all her endeavour, pastor is only human and so is she.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Seriously Chris can abuse a woman? Really? Wow! He looks a weakling.

    Well, like they say, looks can be deceptive. Actually it is. Cos his looks and wHat he's been accused of, are way opposite.

    All these curl activator pastors ehnn? Hmn!

    I am so wary of "pastors".

    Mtcheww

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Am very wary of them too.. Ndi wayo!

      Delete
    2. Bloggy leave pastors face your life

      Delete
  53. @ Fearless Orobo, you are so on point.

    I attended Christ Embassy for 5 years too and I know what goes on in there.

    Flirting is so normal like a second skin. I could not fit into the system.

    Tried to ignore it all but got fed up at a time and fled.

    Immorality inside the church is so not my style

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have uever heard of beware of dogs even in d church. U must of movedwith the wrong set because i havebn therefor11yrs and flirting is not where i am. Sincerly there is no perfect church so itseverywhere. Remember salvation is personal

      Delete
    2. Pastor Anita we love you. Things happen in this world that we may not knowwhy butknow that we all love u

      Delete
  54. Whew! Wow! I just went to the site and this article I read even though not directed at anyone speak volumes about her past at Christ Embassy. It is not difficult to know who and what she is writing about. https://www.pastoranita.org/beta/index.php/home/to-love-yourself

    I have always know Pastor Chris to be a master showman. The article is short but eye-opening.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Anita, I love you because I love women who are honest and brave about issues. My worry now is that if your ex remarries and remarries one kain smallie whiter than white mix race of 20years old in a big way which awon amebor bloggers will carry for weeks, I want you to know that if that happens,(and no matter what, the comments naijas will make will hurt) we will still be here for you.

    ReplyDelete
  56. if you guys believe that Pastor Anita created that blog then you will believe anything. It's all a lie. Impostors stop deceiving people. She is not a public person and will not go public for any reason. No one should believe these nonsense.

    ReplyDelete
  57. if you guys believe that Pastor Anita created that blog then you will believe anything. It's all a lie. Impostors stop deceiving people. She is not a public person and will not go public for any reason. No one should believe these nonsense.

    ReplyDelete
  58. if you guys believe that Pastor Anita created that blog then you will believe anything. It's all a lie. Impostors stop deceiving people. She is not a public person and will not go public for any reason. No one should believe these nonsense.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U b mumu....stop deceiving ur self...dis is reality...wake up...

      Delete
  59. This is definitely her blog. Have you checked it out for yourself?
    She attended the birthday party of Mummy Nkechi and the pictures are there for all to see.
    Brave of her to come out and tell her story and like the bible says "the same comfort that you have received, comfort others also" .

    ReplyDelete

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