Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: WHY WOMEN MARRY LATE!

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Tuesday, September 29, 2015

WHY WOMEN MARRY LATE!

Today, I am worried about our sons, today’s young men. I am truly worried and every mother should pause, take a closer look at her sons and daughters and answer this question: are you empowering your son for the journey ahead of him? Answer truthfully, after all you are alone and you don’t have to let anybody hear you.


WE NEED TO TALK!....Sit down!



I think Nigerian mothers have not done well raising future husbands and fathers. Let’s admit it, we have not scored above average that is if we achieved average at all.

Take a closer look at your beautiful daughter and your handsome six-footer son. Who is better prepared for the task ahead? I know some of us had realised this and have done better than others but most Nigerian mothers need to buckle up. Our sons are not what they should be and we cannot have the society, the country we desire when we put unprepared men and overgrown boys in positions of authority. I’ll explain myself.

In too many homes, the wives are the bread winners. Too many women are paying the rent and picking bills that make a man the man. We do not need figures from the Office of Statistics because I know every woman in this country knows at least one family where the man is not truly the head. 


He is just a figure head. And every man who is a figure head is a sad commentary on his mother. Every young husband who waits for his wife to draw her monthly check before the monthly shopping can be done is a figure head, a proceed of a failed mother. That is harsh, right? Yeah, I know there is a place for God in what man becomes in life. It is from Him all blessings flow and only He gives power to make wealth. But did you, madam, even teach your son that simple fact or are you too busy preparing your daughter for marriage in addition to her getting the added advantage of attending the same Ivy League schools like his brothers? 


A son attends Babcock University in Nigeria or Imperial College in United Kingdom with a daughter but the daughter is trained to cook, pamper a man, be nice to in-laws and bring up children, all while she’s getting a degree. The son learns how to play basket ball and wash a car. The daughter learns how to bake and how to make hair and do make-up. Girls with Masters degrees see nothing wrong in going to learn dress making . Boys dust their CVs and write glowing stuff about themselves and send out thousands of job applications.

After two or three years of fruitless search for non-existent jobs, don’t our boys start ‘processing visas’ to travel to even the most ridiculous places, countries with no pastures, least of all green ones? Meanwhile, the girls set up make-up studios, start ‘mixing cream’ making hats and dresses and everything that makes money. 


The boys wait for the big time to arrive in one day. It doesn’t, rarely does. So the girls begin to grow in age and in bank balance. Ripe for marriage but no man is plucking because they are still waiting. See why girls are marrying late? They acquire degrees and cars, some even properties while waiting for Mr Right to come along. By the time he eventually comes along, the girl is already doing well in business, entrepreneurial skills honed. 


For a while, love covers the gap but men are not wired to be anything but the head. That is why most men quote how Sarah calls Abraham ‘Lord’ in the Bible. But Abraham was stupendously rich by Bible accounts. He also spoilt Mama Sarah silly. In other words, every Sarah needs an Abraham.

Inadequate, angry and frustrated, a man whose wife picks the bill soon finds avenues to vent his ire. Violence is one of those avenues. Shamelessly philandering to belittle his ‘richer’ wife is another, like impregnating the maid or a restaurant assistant. Are you linking the rate of failed marriages to what mothers have failed to do? There is a limit to a woman’s endurance and our millennium daughters have no threshold for suffering. In any case, a woman who bought herself a car is not the one her husband can threaten with ‘if you touch any of my cars…



Culled from Facebook
However if this is your article or you know the original source,
please mail me



If you are a man and you read this and disagree,hey this isnt sexist,please
write a rejoinder and it will be posted!




267 comments:

  1. Hmmmm no comment. Men come in here and say sometin bout dis

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some points were made but I disagree that its solely the mothers job. Parenthood is no joke and isn't meant to be done by the mother alone. I mean what exactly is the duty of the father from this writeup and where is he supposed to be while the mother is doing all the training?

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    2. What do women really want , u ask for equality and u get it and u still complain

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    3. All I can observed this days are all bunch of lazy guys that are seriously in searching of a well to do ladies. Too lazy to type much

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    4. Is like we live in a reversed generation now...women are now playing d role of men..while are now playing d role of women
      .they are now more laid back in playing their roles

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    5. On the contrary lady j, women are now playing both roles. They provide for the family and still get to do all the house chores and cooking and taking care of the family. Its pathetic.

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    6. Mothers shld train their sons to treat women right, I definitely support this write-up, makes alot of sense

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  2. Stella majority of the guys out there are looking for hardworking ladies to clinch too, dey are bunch of lazy guys out there! Majority of marriages na woman dey carry am, na screen savers, when dey don't av dey would forming good boys, make d money show like dis , dem go show demselves, and majority of dis guys are drunkereds! Dey aren't God fearing!
    Imagine wan dude was saying dat I must look sexy by exposing my body to go on a date with him, comparing me to Kim k, idiot, some would if prefer u to date big men to come feed dem.
    To cut long story short!
    Guys of Nowadays are spoilt nd don't fear God



    AKA sumborri

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    Replies
    1. Infact very very lazy!and d worst part is dey want to eat their cake and have it back!hows dat?@sarah called Abraham lord,na boy wey u dey feed u go call lord?even he will know it's sarcasm and will ask u to stop.
      One went as far as buying a gal's pone no from his friend cos he heard she's a big gal working in NNPC and needs a husband,hehe!all d way from enugu,he found his way to abuja,dated her,married her!but today d marriage is off cos he can't stand being d figure head husband.
      Laziness and covetousness makes dem feel marrying a rich lady is an easy way out,but wen dey go in dey find out its way harder dan being broke!all this is because watever God has decreed (dat man will till d ground and suffer before he feeds his family) ,any attempt by humans to subvert it will only lead to confusion we are encountering now!afterall if God did not reverse d pain of child birth(which is d curse of d woman),den men it still stands dat y'all must till d ground!go back to d old ways all ye men/boys of 21st century!#tongueclick

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    2. You are so on point, bunch of lazy mofos. All they want are made ladies and just bcos these ladies show desperation to getting married. The way Africans see marriage especially Nigerians is not helping matters at all.

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  3. my thought exactly. we're so busy teaching our girls how to be a good wife & mother we forget to train the boys who'll treat them right, hence the gap!

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    Replies
    1. Most mothers including myself, have started raising both sex the same way. Teaching them life values and how to love themselves

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    2. Yeah! Very right! I grew up seeing my father as the correct head. He thrived to provide. Even though he had his flaws, he was still the lord and was regarded as such.
      I learned and planned to regard my man as the lord.

      So I grew up oh! I started dating and realised that lording a man makes him take advantage of you! Instead of being proud of u! Useless overgrown boys!

      I grew defensive. And in a society where men that solidly provide had begun to fade. Men I met were those that even want your money. I list respect for men!

      I'm married now. But to me, a man that cannot provide doesn't deserve respect. Unless he used to, then fell on hard times and is trying.

      I have no pity for lazy/stingy men!

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  4. I'm very tired now. I need someone to help me summarize this pls.

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    Replies
    1. The writer forgot to mention the spiritual aspects of why women marry late. Well, he/she tried.....

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    2. Lol! Sorry, but you should read it article. It's insightful and interesting.

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    3. Well, if you're a regular here, you'd know that no single day passes by without Stella posting something about Marriage. So in summary, this is one of her usual marriage posts, only this time, it was couched in a way to make it look like it's the men's fault that women "marry late"....whatever that means.While in the real sense of it's actually a hit on single women.Do you get the point now?

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    4. Go and sleep.

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    5. You need to read the full article to appreciate its rich content.

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  5. I support this write up sincerely. Gone are those days where women just sit home to take care of the home and children, this time around they put food on the table. They stress themselves just to make sure the home is well fed and taken care of. God bless we women and my mum Especially.

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  6. In my family it's different. My brothers can cook, clean, wash. Name it. They even fry garri. My mom did a very good job in raising us. I love u mom.

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    Replies
    1. So,no woman will do shakara for your brodas over food

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    2. Madam no one is taking about house chores! Men of nowadays even do that well!

      What the write up is about is being responsible! I.e instead of waiting on a job why not start up something no matter how small!

      Go back & read again!

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  7. Abeg make we hear word, marriage is over rated, with d high case of divorce and d chronicles we read here on marriage,no girl should loss sleep over marriage, every wise woman should be thinking of how to make money and ve a child if d right man is no forth coming.

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    Replies
    1. Gives me no pleasure in saying this, but I actually agree with you.

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    2. However a well balanced marriage is still the best.
      The sad and poor substitute is the get belle b4 the biological clock stops ticking

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    3. This one had no hope at all hence this bitter comment.

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    4. It's over-rated, we agree. But no go turn aunty gwez o

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  8. Well said. In fact a round of applause to the writer. Most men need to grow up.

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  9. The poster is right althou i married early and am enjoying it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congratulations, how much did it add to your account. ..just asking.

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  10. Women ,really sit down!!! Do u spur ur sons on when they misbehave ? Do u give in when they throw tantrums ?!!! If u do ,then ur a jezebel. .stop now !!!!

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  11. So so true Stella...
    I am going to train both my boys and girls the same way in doing domestic work and being industrious.

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  12. In naija late marriage na bcos of economic hardship! As I be like dis im 31yrs young and I be person husband! But hand neva tight!! And d kain woman I want as wife gats be super fine n sexy! Cos me I dey for beauty first o! Fuck that character 1st nonsense! Cos I knw plenty ugly babes with super ugly character! So as I neva tight for income for now no need to add am woman make we come dey suffer then her super fine n sexy go disappear! No naaa! I no even get babe sef and I ain't bothered! E no easy for dis 9ja for we guys, chai! But God dey!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 31 years young, you be person husband bla bla bla
      The person you'd marry will be sexy and all that.
      SF read this your comment again and tell me if it makes sense to you

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    2. Make una dey start on time dey hustle na

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  13. Replies
    1. This writer and I are kindled spirits! Broke men have been abusing women since time immemorial!

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    2. Most men so shamelessly wait for their wife to perform their responsibility as the head of the family, shame on u if u are among these kind of men. Besides some girls marry late also cos they tied themselves down in useless relationship and keep rejecting good suitors.


      www.beinspiredwithmily.com

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  14. There's plenty of sense in this write up though above all, God is still the giver of breakthrough be it a man or woman.

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    Replies
    1. Li-yon i agree with u on this. Not only mothers should be blamed for this, but fathers as well have their own roles to play and they do not play it. They know what they went through so why not raise their boys in the right way. Mothers have a fault true, but the society in which we find ourselves in has made mothers neglect their sons, fathers face their sources on income thereby making the sons lazy and not having an idea of how they should be

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    2. Wetin bring breakthrough for this matter?

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  15. Am a dude..this is way cool...BTW I got a p most girls wouldn't wana buy the idea of settling down with a guy who is in progress...they prefer ready made though......

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    Replies
    1. When all a "dude in progress" wants is a sexy high class babe....wether washed out or still intact,yo lazy ass no longer know what it means to be hardworking and will eventually mistreat the lady that stuck with u in your brokeass days....(still few exeptions though)

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    2. Princess Scheherazade29 September 2015 at 20:11

      I once dated a guy for three years while he was still serving and job hunting.
      We were cool, ideal couple, his family knew me and mine, him.

      He got a very good job in an oil firm and suddenly cooled off, claiming to be busy trying to adjust to the job.

      This went on for a while until he stopped calling and taking my calls altogether. I tried reaching him to no avail, even through his family and mine, he didn't budge.
      This went on for a little over a year, then he called me out of the blue one day and told me he was getting married in a month's time.

      I died when I heard, it took special intervention for me not to do something stupid. I kept asking what went wrong and he said it wasn't me or anything I did. It was just one of those inevitable things ( whatever that means).
      My dad told me to develop myself, I was done with service then and working in a small IT firm. I went abroad for my masters, (dad sponsored- bless his soul).


      You think I should still be interested in a man who's in progress? You be the judge.

      Today's woman is the 'monster' created by today's man.



      When the hunter learns to shoot without missing, the bird learns to fly without perching.

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    3. It's probably because you don't know the true nature of a man until he's made. They be all mushy when they have nothing but the second they make some money and start getting little attention, the beast in them awakens

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    4. because you men ain't worth it... i almost died because of my ex that had not even 1,000 in his account... i followed love not knowing that love doesn't exist, the day i was to give birth to my son, i was already in three days labour inside our management facebme i slap you one room we rented together, there was no kobo to go to the hospital so i told him not to worry that i will try and give birth on the floor at home..... i almost died given birth to that child on the floor the third day after labour, today nko?
      he has forgotten all and left with another woman... this is just little from the real suffer head i did for him

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    5. True shall...all the best

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    6. Babe we in the same page... I can totally relate

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  16. oya men come and answer present. una be gworogworo

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  17. Bless you Stella, my husband is a figurehead, his mother is a failure!!! I wish i could send you chronicles but trust me, this one pass chronicles, it would do better as a book. Let those that have ears hear. This article is the truth.

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    Replies
    1. I hope u all notice ow d mother "woman" is blamed for d "figurehead"of nowadays. Apart from paying d bills and "pampering mama Sarah silly"...d writer failed to point out d role of d father in d upbringing of the boy child. Obinrin ti raye wa ooo
      #ur gidigirl#

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    2. Thank u o. When they turn out well they will say it's the fathers influence. But truly no be lie Stella talk. I have a friend who is training her girls into shape and when asked if the boy she said he will get a wife to take care of him. I was stunned to hear that in this day and age

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    3. A lot of the fathers were emotionally absent
      who most times brought up emotionally lazy and inadequate men (harsh but true)
      The rotten Ness started tey tey but by GOD'S grace everyone who comes across this article will be a game changer in JESUS mighty name, amen

      Delete
    4. Stewie Gilligan Griffin29 September 2015 at 19:51

      @ gidigirl, someone finally echoed my thoughts. It's always mothers raise your kids, blah blah blah...how about the fathers too? Men have a huge role in their children's lives too.

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    5. Princess Scheherazade29 September 2015 at 20:13

      Anon 18. 29, you took the words out of my mouth.

      Again, with blaming women. Mothers have failed, fathers too even more.

      A man should be primarily involved in his son's upbringing.

      Asides from that, I quite agree with the article.

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    6. You saw he was a figurehead before you married him, so why are you complaining. Ladies want a rich guys overlooking all the other qualities.

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    7. Exactly! Even in blaming men for the shortcomings, the writer lays the fault ultimately at a woman's feet. What about the fathers??? Why aren't fathers raising better sons? Mgbe ogbula woman!!!! Put the Shame on the men and squarely on them alone.

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    8. Anon 20:18, im guessing you are not married, you will bring your chronicles here someday. Till then, fingers crossed.

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  18. Why women marry late? Or why women become breadwinners?

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  19. hmmm deep, women naturally groom their sons to become lazy,like my pastor said we have few husbands but plenty men.

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    Replies
    1. You are even contradicting yourself, 'women naturally groom their sons to become lazy'... is it only the duty or responsibility of the woman, what about the father. And you say they don't train the male child, here you are absorbing the male parent of blame...smh...women be the cause of their problem since 1900

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  20. I totally agree with the writer.

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  21. Replies
    1. Judging frm the times of our grannys and mothers, one can conclude that priorities hv changed wit dis indomie generation, material posession is a huge determinant...

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  22. To the writer
    I am a man, a feminist and an advocate for entrepreneurship and I would say, good points were raised in your write up but with some misplaced priorities.
    Do you think its sane to grow a society where people acquire degrees only to keep them under their carpets as souvenirs.

    Do you think this society is sane enough when Old men from older generations have consciously stood to operate/manipulate the system to favour themselves by harming sustainability and 'family-tizing' the industries so they'll enrich themselves and have so much to spend on mistresses.

    Do you think its safe for our country if professionals are not groomed to stand, operate and diversify our economy and yield productivity for the future.....or you feel the youths would survive on make up, baking and sewing which were mentioned.....if these handworks get saturated, then what happens....hope you know its gon get saturated.....any plan afterwards?? we donot live to eat alone but to grow a country favourable for our kids and the next generation.

    In my opinion, we shouldn't take up a societal issue and coat it to suit what hurts us....How would we blame our innocent mothers for a society that has failed even the parents....Do you know how sad it is for parents who get to watch their kids suffer with little or no return on investment after spending so much on school fees, failed businesses etc.

    Good points but cannot or shouldn't be limited to the heading.....The society forms 70% of this problem....not our mothers...We fix this system, we stay afloat; we don't, we drown in it. Simple.



    Li-yon Vls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alan Sugar said the British economy sustained by entrepreneurs .
      Yes that's y those @ the top are selfish. If they had good time training they will know riches is for all and to be shared.
      If they acquired by diabolic greed and enslavement rules their actions.

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    2. You know book well
      I love your points
      Btw ....poster what of the fathers ???
      Please don't blame only the mothers o

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    3. Thank you. The poster is simply not getting it right. I read and I shake my head.

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    4. Oga Anonymous Li-yon VLS, I don't comment but u provoked my gentle spirit. Why don't u call a fork a fork instead of ferk. No doubt society helps to shape us but pls note that charity begins at home, train up a child in the way he should go....... Bros, when you train ur child well, ur child will be formidable. My brothers, can do all the house chores, the society will tell them it's not a man's job but my mother will tell them it's imperative in this life. We need to train our boys and girls not to be influenced by societal pressures and trends. What is inside should be stronger than what is outside.

      Signing out jor.
      Mchewwww! I need to change this phone Lumia 535 my worst experience with a phone. Pls MIcrosoft come and collect this ur phone. Why would a phone be so difficult to use. Imagine how long it took for me to type these. I cant even edit properly. Hian!!!

      Delete
  23. Replies
    1. Does that include ur father??? No need to get mad...I was just asking o!

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  24. I had this conversation with my mum when she visited and we agreed on all the points raised by this post.
    However, I feel that mothers alone shouldn't be blamed; how about fathers that are bad role models to our sons? How about the absent father's that value work+money more than their families? How about fathers that are busy creating 'baby mamas' and running away from its responsibilities?
    Parents need to join hands together in raising the children really. There is a reason God made it that way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most fathers are even worse than mothers. They play little or no role in a child's upbringing and it's wrong. Fathers shouldn't just be ATM machines, they need to help raise their kids too. Women cannot do it alone. Years ago, most women were stay - at - home mothers but now they are career women. They contribute way more than their husbands so it's only fair that men help out in raising the children too.

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    2. Stewie Gilligan Griffin29 September 2015 at 19:53

      Thank you.

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    3. You just mirrored my thoughts Amebo mistress. Spot on!

      Delete
  25. Sometimes u make sense sha
    Other times e remain smalll

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  26. Hmmm this is a master piece.. however, I think its not only financially that our mother's failed to train our boys but also emotionally, romantically n other 'cally's' u can think of..lol I'm married to a very successful man that gives me all i want in life but wen it comes to assisting in the kitchen, or help bathing the babies he fails woefully (note used those as examples cus i couldn't find a word to summarise)..i get so upset cus i see my other African brother's easily do these at home without stress but the average Nigerian man has bn made to believe that theyre some certain things they are more than... so therefore mother's must learn to teach their sons just as they re training their daughters. #doctor'swife#

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    Replies
    1. Hmm anony my own husband cooks, cleans, baths the baby, changes diaper etc. But the kain owu wey dey wash the man no be here. I love him though but would prefer if the money was available too. Abeg if e too pepper you for body make me exchange for 1month. My life needs the money right now.

      Delete
    2. I concur with you@Doctor's wife.
      My hubby provides everything I and d girls needs but when it comes 2 #Domestic work#. Mehnnn Zero over 100.
      My hubby can't evn wipe our little baby's bumbum,wen she poos,he'd rather wait for me/starts calling me 2 find out how long it wil take fo me 2 get back home.
      Initially I used 2 get upset but fo Peace sake,i ve learnt 2 accept it as his shortcoming.
      My MIL of blessed Memory was a single mom of 5,so she had 2 provide for them all/left d home training 2 maids.

      Delete
  27. Hmmmmm......This is a Powerful piece

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  28. The long epistle won't make them change one bit!

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  29. I love this. God please give me the grace to raise my sons to become REAL MEN

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  30. please find the source:
    http://sunnewsonline.com/new/protecting-manhood/

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  31. Women in this country & part of the world too complain abeg. Wetin sef!

    What's wrong in a woman assisting the household???
    What's wrong in a woman taking care of the home??
    These are primary responsibilities!

    U break up a relationship & she cries fowl & take up the victim tag...just b'cos una bin dey fuck? Like sey she no follow enjoy the act? Taaa!

    If una like...No! ...If Stella Kork like, assemble all ya SDK chicks...Make una go bra-less & pant-less & protest from Rumuola junction to Abidjan, nothing will change. There'll never be gender equality in this world or the one to come. Spiritually, religiously, politically, socially, economically, physically & what have u...gender equality will remain a pipe dream & a fantasy.

    Stop the rantings & get to ur duty post ASAP!!!

    Ghanaman signing out!!!

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    Replies
    1. Trying to string to points together to get the correlation. Couldn't get any. You just ranted like a mad man. As big as you are you cannot organise your thoughts and pass them across coherently. Shame.

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    2. one of the most uncouth and incoherent comments i have read so far.

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    3. Which one be correlation & colouration again na? Y'all keep hiding under the cover of anonymous to throw jibes abi? Beta show ur fuckin sef idiot...so I can direct my reply accordingly! Na my body u wan do ur English I.T.! Mstcheeww!

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    4. You sincerely and honestly made no sense.

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    5. U just said a whole load of crap

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    6. Hahaha nwoke ghana you sure say you read the post at all? I don't understand all your rantings.

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    7. You just succeeded in writing total rubbish! !! Talking out of point. What's the correlation between this nonsense you wrote and the topic being discussed? I must comment by force!!

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    8. Lollllzzz
      I no understand anything wey him talk at all
      Nna cool down na

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    9. My friend
      The WORD is assist
      Not become her full blown responsibility
      Irresponsible men everywhere without an iota of shame giving others a bad name.

      They want the title of head
      But shamelessly run from the responsibility

      Delete
    10. Are you a misogynist ? I hope not.

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    11. Lol ghana man, I c no correlation with what stella wrote and your comment,it got me laughung and thinking,do we really read or since a man is involve it must b gender equality....lol read up and comment properly

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    12. Ghanaman the new African woman fucks men of her choice when she has the itch and bounces him right after her itch has been satisfied. Honey times are changing....bwhaaaaha Gba bee!

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    13. Ode!!! Who is talking about gender equality here?

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    14. Ghana man,u used to make sense to me!wat happened bro?are u high on gum or some Ghana alomo?
      Who is talking gender equality here?btw dat:women are already getting it on a platter of gold as u boys sell out ur birth rights daily for a piece of easy way out!remember he who plays d piper detects d tone?and d female gender is dictating already! #tongueout
      .if una like make una no go find work or trade to do and restore ur dignities!....gender equality not possible my left ass,wen d women have already turned y'all to house husbands and boyfriends!buhahahha!!#mtceew

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  32. Hmmmm. Am a lady. So sad need to go and pay my children 's school fees today without DH contributing a penny

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  33. the society has placed so much on their shoulders and the guys also have other things to think about.

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  34. Hmmmm. Very deep. Cried when I read this.

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  35. Hmmmm. Very deep. Cried when I read this.

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    Replies
    1. Cried? Obituary follow for the post???

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    2. You cried??? Nawah.
      You no get wahala.

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    3. Unknown & Omowumi Adebo why using 2 blog ID...

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  36. This write up is pathetic.Who ever wrote this junk is so deluded i wont glorify the writer by calling her a feminist cos she aint one. Probably one of the cougars that spent their youth days chasing money, men and setting too high a standard for the poor men that had the courage to approach them. Now she feels writing this junk of an excuse would make her feel better. I feel sorry for the writer. really. she needs to do her research properly. if she must write on a public issue like this one.(Mad at me for wasting my time to read this)

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    Replies
    1. Finally! A sensible person to align with! I thought I was alone in my line of thoughts. Gabito...ya head no big for nothing jare!!!

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    2. Am madder at you for making absolutely no sense in trying to rebuke the writer.

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    3. No use cursing the writer...MANY WOMEN ARE BREAD WINNERS IN THEIR HOMES _-FACT

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    4. See as body they pepper you, you are really pained because the writer nailed it. Better change for good if you fall into this category.mtcheeeew

      Delete
  37. Stella u have said it all. Interesting article!

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  38. I don't know about women marrying late, the heading is wrong, it's the men that marry late IMO, all my friends are in their husband's houses.
    The only reason I'm still unmarried is because of my choice of a BF, if I were to advice my younger sister now, it would be to date a guy that is settled and very mature, "Oga din ma" boyfriend is not it at all.
    Meanwhile some women on this blog have turned marriage to something else, marriage is a sweet thing, if not for anything but to be chopping legal and "Perm" dick steady, Lmao!
    So someone yesterday posted a "giveaway" for a makeup training and requested for her fellow MARRIED(she wrote it in caps like that) BVs to apply and went ahead to say 5k fee for 1week training, I was so pissed yesterday, seriously?
    Baba God be a husband provider oh! Chai!
    Oppression everywhere *cleans tears*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The many sad, miserable married women on this blog alone cannot oppress me jare.

      Delete
    2. Princess Scheherazade29 September 2015 at 20:26

      Hahahahahahahahahhahahaha... I saw the make up give away to MARRIED women only.

      I found it funny though... I'm not married BTW, but I told myself, "babe, if the thing de pain you, do a giveaway for single ladies too on this blog, after all you're up to the task".

      Maybe I should... #Thinking

      Delete
    3. Ur a very sincere person nuvi, I like u!

      Delete
  39. God bless this writer!!! Mothers have failed!! We all need to wake up..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear, beta wake up alone o! Cos my own didn't fail! Mstcheeeww!

      Delete
  40. Every Sarah Needs an Abraham......I love that part.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I agree with this.. most men these days are waiting for oil company jobs. They want to hit it big in a day. Nobody is ready for humble beginnings anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  42. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. go and look for your sister outside.you drink abi you miss road?

      Delete
    2. Why are you asking this on stella's blog? Dem be partners? Ignoramus

      Delete
    3. How that one take concern SDK family?

      Delete
    4. This SDK pls. You can ask google that dumb ass question of yours. Silly Mofos everywhere

      Delete
  43. The trend is becoming sickening. They forget the bible says a man who cannot fend for his family is worse than an infidel. May God continue to give wisdom to mothers so as to nurture their children in the right path.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Really insightful. Have been wondering the deel causes of failed marriages tho...this article sheds a little light on that. Thanks Stella

    ReplyDelete
  45. It's only when you post something like this that marriage crosses my mind for a moment. Na wah oh!

    When are we singles going to be free of this constant torture here.

    It's so frustrating and tiring.
    Whew!


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U have ur self to blame? When y'all set very unrealistic target, una no dey know? Wait until u start arranging chairs at Shiloh for all the wrong reasons!

      Delete
    2. Chi,never let society pressure you into marriage.
      It is not all about getting married ooh. You must shine your eyes,marry the right one so that happiness will not elude you.

      It is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy.

      God will make everything beautiful for you. Marriage has a special kind of joy that you should not miss all in the name of hurrying/rushing to marry any efulefu mmuo. LOL

      Kisses Hun.

      Delete
    3. Well said @ Iphie dearie...
      Eziokwu ooo

      Delete
  46. A very nice article.
    Some men are totally useless.
    Especially men from a known language in the country.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Love this article! Learnt some lessons

    ReplyDelete
  48. Na so God save me,e remain small make I join holy matrimony wt a mentally unstable man.i tot he was jst been stubborn.untill he overdid it and I started questioning his sanity.im mama too use caring cover my eyes so,i wnt leave,na person wey wear shoe knw where he dey pinch. Enyin aunty gwegs make una welcome me back to d club. D struggle continue. Make baba God help me and wash away my shame.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Met a man that wanted to marry me and move into my house,he has a job and can afford house rent but feels its ok to marry a woman and move into her house. Keeps trying to collect money from me and when I refuse he'll try emotional blackmail. Men these days are not men anymore....no shame

    ReplyDelete
  50. The writer blamed mothers again! The female specie lol! Mothers are to groom their daughters and fathers their sons. The idea of of our girls not to get pregnant or have sex and advising the guys to use comdoms is a typical example, who are they using the condoms on? Or are they now supposed to be gay? Pls don't blame the don't man's failure on his mother but on the father. My ex was a great man and treated his mum and myself with respect, because his father respects his mum. Distance and life put things apart but my point is; the father shl train the sons and mum's the daughters. Ladies don't marry a lazy man, you can tell from courtship o, love alon doesn't keep the marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  51. You are a joker, if u really wana get into dis , I wil tell u d terrible tins dis girls do, even d working class

    ReplyDelete
  52. You are a joker, if u really wana get into dis , I wil tell u d terrible tins dis girls do, even d working class

    ReplyDelete
  53. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Hian!!!! Woman don suffer! Every time woman this woman that!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Nuvi honey...i want to believe that you did not just call me out on IHN .

    Look at you, crying shamelessly on your "manless" state of existence. Trying to soften the blow by calling Mr non-existent man "ogadinma". You remind me of Kenya Moore, only you can see the man but nobody else can. Is he a spiritual boyfriend? I am not even going to make your situation worse than it is.

    Each time you are on S&M applying for a man for your fictitious friend. You have bigger problems honey. Face it.

    I am saying this with love.


    XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
  56. Samson's parents didn't set boundaries look where it fir him.
    David didn't set boundaries also look how his kids turn to
    Eli didn't caution his sons.
    Jacob didn't either what happened a plot Joseph sold. Instead Jacob cursed the perpetrators instead of blessing them @ his deathbed
    In as much mothers are proverbs 31 women, the head of the house has to take responsibility.
    Abraham made sure his son got a Jewish wife.
    Joseph made sure his sons knew about forgiveness and blessings

    ReplyDelete
  57. Why blame the mothers though. Isn't it a father's responsibility to train up a boy into a man? If the mother is already training up her daughter for the road ahead, what is the father doing with his son? Get off women's back and speak to men about the raising of sons.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Humans with mindsets like this writer are the causers of women"s problem in this world! Now you have turned the responsibility of training up a male to a woman's role. Clap for yourself. What's the role of the man then??

    Just be dere and be preparing yourself and your followers to die on a responsibility to be shared by husband and wives. Besides the major the most that makes a real man can only be taught by a man. Just as being a good woman can majorly be taught by a mother.

    So please drop this mentality of women being failures at training their male children and dream up another article for the real culprits, THE MEN!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Has anyone ever asked themselves if our mothers claimed 50/50 in their marriages?
    Should there be any reason for a woman not to provide for her family the same way her husband will do if 50/50 is the order of the day?
    There are different factors that affect a man from being the man in a marriage.
    How about we talk about women who have never spent a naira on any bill in her household but will not end up appreciate what the husband has done?
    No hard feelings, Men are supposed to be men. A man is the head and should provide for his family, he should guide them jealously and make them comfortable.
    The parents are responsible somewhat, how about men that didn't grow up with their parents
    but are currently role models?
    Marriage is a sacred institution that can only be attended by matured people, because you are a man or woman doesn't mean you are matured.
    What's the population of the matured people marrying today against the ones that get married due to peer pressure?


    ReplyDelete
  60. Has anyone ever asked themselves if our mothers claimed 50/50 in their marriages?
    Should there be any reason for a woman not to provide for her family the same way her husband will do if 50/50 is the order of the day?
    There are different factors that affect a man from being the man in a marriage.
    How about we talk about women who have never spent a naira on any bill in her household but will not end up appreciate what the husband has done?
    No hard feelings, Men are supposed to be men. A man is the head and should provide for his family, he should guide them jealously and make them comfortable.
    The parents are responsible somewhat, how about men that didn't grow up with their parents
    but are currently role models?
    Marriage is a sacred institution that can only be attended by matured people, because you are a man or woman doesn't mean you are matured.
    What's the population of the matured people marrying today against the ones that get married due to peer pressure?


    ReplyDelete
  61. Anon 18:13 stella blogs looks like a mechanic workshop to you

    ReplyDelete
  62. I totally disagree because my mum train us equally. My younger brother finished his masters early. By 24 he is married and very responsible, when his wife gave birth in obodo oyinbo he bath the baby and do the necessary things himself, before any of our families over there visit. People are calling my mum that she trained him well. In my house boys and girls are equal. So maybe some mom did not trained their son well, but not all mom.

    ReplyDelete
  63. All the epistles and term papers for IHN today reach me. I no fit add this post join abeg.
    Haven't even finished with IHN. Opened up and saw 366 comments. Huh? The last I saw was 186.
    Won.der.ful!

    Moreso too much marriage talks/post. The more the marriage post, the more bitter gwegs become. Little wonder you see hate comments from nowhere. Person go de ask 'imsef'- from where na?

    ReplyDelete
  64. Na wao, women are really at the receiving end

    ReplyDelete
  65. Love this article! Learnt some lessons

    ReplyDelete
  66. Chai!!!! Na who write this essay!! GBAMEST!!!this is just the truth

    I think there is also an ounce of responsibility on we women to not let love control our brains!!

    Encourage the men to be bread winners biko! Even if you make £100k a year, let the man know he still has to be the main provider, our jobs as women is to support the head as the necks....

    Encourage your husbands to strive to lead the home, financially, spiritually, mentally and physically...let's stop babying these men

    I've told my hubby, forget my salary inshort delete am from your head like say e no exist....if we need backup I dey, but na you be the main the main

    Obviously life is a journey and no one genuinely knows tomorrow so if you know your man is hardworking but maybe needs a little support or push for a few months, then support but let him know that God has made him the head, and the head he shall remain

    Peace xx

    ReplyDelete
  67. Parents please raise your boys well so that your daughters won't have any drama with their future husbands. How do we expect our daughters to be married to a lovely man and have a beautiful home when we have failed to raise those lovely men. Let's be wise.

    ReplyDelete
  68. That topic/rider had notin to do with the body of that term paper..women dis, mothers dat! ..were d hell hav d men hybernated to? The writer also failed to add that women marry late cos some of the supposed husbands r either in jail, died in car/plane crash, turned reverends, thieves or even gay!...can we just not read bout feminism at least 4a week? It's beginning to sound like a broken record.

    ReplyDelete
  69. The society is made up of families, so blaming society is same as blaming families, which are headed by a FATHER and a MOTHER. Both have a JOINT responsibility to raise their children, not just the mother alone..

    The writer makes a lot of sense. Most Nigerian men are NOT adequately prepared for marriage. They grow up with that sense of entitlement that women are desperate to marry anything with a penis so they don't even hustle too hard to woo a woman, win her heart, make money, take her on dates and then propose to her..

    I honestly won't advise any female to jump too early into marriage unless you are very sure of your husband's maturity and financial capacity. Take your time and live your dreams, grow your career, have a job, make some money..so you can buy your car, travel when you want and all. Life is short, how can your only life goal and dream be being a wife and mother? In 2015? How?

    And pls if you are not ready to have kids, don't have them. If you have them and cant raise them, kindly give them up for adoption. The economy is crumbling, don't have any child you can't feed, clothe, educate and cater for mbok. How on earth have we come down to 20rape cases every week. These rapists were born but were not well raised. These rapists are the men we are not preparing for marriage..

    The men are becoming more lazy. They are having too much sex, watching too much porn and the devil is using it to destroy their destinies. I don't see anything wrong with a wife being the provider, but it is irresponsible of any man to not help out at all or to hate on her while she is the provider. I just wish men would learn how to be loving and supportive of their wives. St.Paul says to love your wives as Christ loves the church. How do you grow in envy of your spouse. How? Why?

    ReplyDelete
  70. Ghana man you are really brainless. #gethelp

    ReplyDelete
  71. Wow! To some extent I agree but seriously, the mother alone can't do the job of parenting. The father should also teach the sons how to be a man. A woman knows better about the daughters and barely knows much about the sons. The men have their roles here too. Interesting though

    ReplyDelete
  72. Stella why did you withhold my comment? I don't think I said anything wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Reading comments...
    www.ckjacob.com

    ReplyDelete

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