NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
WHISTLE BLOWING ON A PREGNANT FRIEND
Hi Stella, i am a big fan of Sdk, .........
Anyway, i am writing this because i dont know what to advise my friend.. She was dating this guy for years, they were really serious, he showed her love and all, they had issues like every normal couple, but it doesnt see the next morning.
Sadly, last month, he got involved in a ghastly motor accident in Port-harcourt, he was the only one that died in that crash. She has been broken emotionally since then.
Now here is the thing, she has been having this period like pains, yet no period. I advised her to run a pregnancy test, which she was scared to do. Well, when she finally did, it came out positive! And she was about 5weeks gone.
Now, she is just 24, no job or anything, she is about defending project and getting ready to graduate, she is considering terminating it, but that is the bfs only surviving generation! Did i mention that her bf is the only male child? I have begged her not to do this to this boy, he wont forgive her, i feel her pain, but she must have the baby no matter what! At least console the late bfs parents?
Well, stella and bvs, i am thinking of contacting her parents and the boys parents, and informing them? Should i? Or mind my business and leave her to do what she likes?
If they know that they are going to be grandparents, its going to be consoling, to both parties right? Or am poke nosing? Stella, red ink please.
Wow really sad that she lost him but no matter what happens,she should be thinking of keeping that child...what if she dies or never gets another child in her lifetime,can you live with the guilty conscience that will follow you around.Some people do not have common sense so we have to help them find it.I dont care whatever you are doing,poke nosing or mouth nosing,please inform whoever needs to be informed so that she keeps the baby.
Tell her not to touch that child oh!........God is watching over her and he will see her through any trying period....please do it quickly before she goes behind your back to do it.
And keep us informed via in house news.Thank you.
.........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
WEDDING ON HOLD BECAUSE OF TRIBE OR COLD FEET?
Dear Stella Korks,please post my chronicles without my name ....thanks.
I dated this guy for 9yrs.He is from Anambra while am from Enugu.We started when he was actually nobody but i was there for him.3yrs ago,he decided to travel out of the country which he explained to me and i accepted.He told me to wait for him that we will marry as soon as he is back.
While he was there,our communication was very perfect.I do visit his family as he will always tells me to do so.We are currently planning our wedding and the next news i heard was that the father said over his dead body that he will
allow the son to marry from Enugu.
Stella am heart broken.Where do i start now?My guy is back and from his actions he has succumbed to the fathers request.
Oh God my strenght is failing me.
All preparations have been made for the wedding and invitation cards shared.What have i done wrong.I love this guy so much.He hardly calls now and we dont flow well on phone again.
So love can die so easily?From our last conversation he sounded like he has found someone else.Its so difficult for me to move on.What do i do now?Please i need advice.Thanks.
Hmmmm...some men are wicked!
His father didnt say anything since when you were dating and visiting,it is now eh?Maybe he is using the father to push you out cos he found somebody else or he developed cold feet.Some children who are bread winners can plan anything with their parents and these parents succumb becos of what comes to them.
If you do not get married,leave where you are if you cannot stand the shame.
If you are sure he has moved on,then leave him alone,i dont know what to advice you to do with the heartache that will follow but please just trust God to replace your tears.
I wish you the best as you try to heal.Please keep us updated via in house news.
Na WA o
ReplyDeleteMen are wicked! God! Useless men everywhere. Poster 2 God will punish him for wasting your time. Just put everything into Gods hands. And you'll see what will happen. Be strong
DeletePoster one let ur friend no try am! She should keep that child. The man's family will be so happy and help her with the child
Poster one, mind ur damn business.
DeletePoster 2, why would u date a guy for 9yrs? U dey craze? Now he has given u d boot. Sorry oh.
This two chronicles really broke me.
DeleteI don't know what advice or words of encouragement 2 give sef.
Is well
Poster 2, a real anambra man na my mama say,my papa say.Forget that rubbish man and move on.Nonsense.
DeleteNa today anambra men dey act like fool? One after marrying my cousin dumped her with pregnancy.
DeleteImo men too correct jor.
I'm not Imo and I'm not even igbo so make una no bother to come menstruate under this comment.
Poster one: please do everything within ur possible reach to make sure she keeps the baby. I am sure the family of the boy would assist her whatever way they can. Having a baby shouldn't stop her from graduating. She just has to be strong and develop a thick skin. Please do talk to whoever need talking to pls. God please I ask for nothing this moment but a change of heart for this young lady. Give her the grace to do what is right. Amen
DeletePoster one: please do everything within ur possible reach to make sure she keeps the baby. I am sure the family of the boy would assist her whatever way they can. Having a baby shouldn't stop her from graduating. She just has to be strong and develop a thick skin. Please do talk to whoever need talking to pls. God please I ask for nothing this moment but a change of heart for this young lady. Give her the grace to do what is right. Amen
DeleteMadam aproko, na ur belle she take carry d pikin? Keep ur concern to urself.
DeleteWhat if d babe was gbenshing another man? D babe knows why she no wan keep d pikin.
Women r wonderful beings.
Poster one mind your business. Pokenoser. That's how you get yourself into trouble. You should be more concerned about your friend than her late bf parents
DeletePoster 1....mind your bussiness..After u will be the one to insult and call her a baby mama....Leave the girl alone..
DeleteWow, pls ve d baby.God will c u thru sch n find u a good man.pls click d link n u can make little mobey for urself.
Deletehttp://dollarcell.com/?ref=50289
Poster 1 i am with Stekka on this oh! Please inform everyone possible so.she keeps the baby. She will appreciate this later. Even 8f she doesn't know younare doing the right thing and not poke nosing
DeletePoster one, I know where you're coming from but will the grandparents also marry her or prevent her from the baby mama/ single mother stigma that is very popular in the country? Once she has the baby, it's going to be harder for her to get a husband or man that would want to settle down with a single mother (according to what we've all seen with out county's culture). She'll also have to live with that for the rest of her life. Or she would feel she has to hide her child in order to avoid being rejected by men. Then people could call her a "bad mother" etc just like one of the recent posters' girlfriend about a week ago on this blog. There are so many things to think about and consider. I hope she can keep the baby but it's not as simple as that when you think of the girl's life and future, even the baby's future too. The decision might sound like a straightforward one for me and you as third-parties but it's a very huge and complicated one to the person in the center of such dilemma. May God help your friend and guide her aright. My prayers are with her......... Just Me
DeleteMen!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 1, please she should keep the child. I was dating this guy and got preg, he begged me to leave it but i ended up terminating it. The guy died last year and till now i still see him in my dream looking at me with tears in his eyes. I am full of regret now and scared that he is angry with me for not keeping that baby. I dont know what to do again but i know God will answer my prayer so he wont appear in my dreams again. Henry please forgive me. I never knew u will die without a child, i would have kept it.
DeletePoster 1, please she should keep the child. I was dating this guy and got preg, he begged me to leave it but i ended up terminating it. The guy died last year and till now i still see him in my dream looking at me with tears in his eyes. I am full of regret now and scared that he is angry with me for not keeping that baby. I dont know what to do again but i know God will answer my prayer so he wont appear in my dreams again. Henry please forgive me. I never knew u will die without a child, i would have kept it.
DeletePoster 1
DeletePlease tell her parent if possible tell the bfs parent
Poster2
All I can say is that your village people are on your case
OR
That guy doesn't love you anymore forget that " his father said" that's a big lie cos the na was not dead when the family came to collect MARRAIGE list from your family
Men!!!, men wat em jay?. Dnt b judgemental b'cus u ve only heard one part of d story.
DeleteSo igbo's reject themselves? Na wa.
DeletePoster 1, please blow the whistle very loud for everyone to hear.
Poster 1..yes you're poke nosing but in this case you're right!!please inform whoever needs to know!I know its not easy been a single mother but at the end ll be worth it..
DeletePoster 2-my dear sowie oo,its well with ya soul..had my fair share also when I used my univerisity admission fee to help him travel abroad,he came back and and you know!his mother said over her dead body..well I had to learn how to let go cos he didn't look back!!its been 5 years now and you know..I av learn to accept thing and looking up to God..I advice you do the same!!karma is a bitch and she will definately catch up on them..peace
Poster 1..yes you're poke nosing but in this case you're right!!please inform whoever needs to know!I know its not easy been a single mother but at the endit wi ll be worth it..
DeletePoster 2-my dear sowie oo,its well with ya soul..had my fair share also when I used my univerisity admission fee to help him travel abroad,he came back and and you know!his mother said over her dead body..well I had to learn how to let go cos he didn't look back!!its been 5 years now and you know..I av learn to accept thing and look up to God for my own man..I advice you do the same!!karma is a bitch and she will definately catch up on them..but before then,be happy and live well.peace
Lafresh
DeleteYorubas too reject themselves
Not just igbos
My brother is about to marry and the lady he brought home is from a neighboring state but my parent told him our village people don't marry from that village.. And started talking about long time feud that doesn't concern this generation..
And I'm yoruba. So it happens every where
*man*
DeleteNah so we see am oh . then come imagine when the woman no be igbo at all.
DeletePoster 2: Your man has a new women , move on with your life.
DeleteAnonymous 16:46, like seriously? Na wa o. We don't reject any tribe o. My bro married from abia, my sister married an Imo man, my oldest sister married a yoruba man its only my eldest bro married from my state.
DeleteWhich yoruba state is that @anon 16:46? Quit lying maybe it's a family feud, find out well.
DeletePoster 16:46, your Yoruba state and the neighboring one wey e no get name? Stop lying abeg! I know some Yoruba's don't like don't like others from other states due to one thing or the other like family feud, something that happened to a friends daughter perpetuated by someone from the said state etc. But you're blatantly lying here just to make a point. Stop it! You couldn't even mention the state you supposedly come from. Oya, go and quickly look for names of Yoruba states as your proof now. And look for a Yoruba village name while you're at it, ok? #pantsonfire
DeleteIt's a sad truth, but anambra guys do not like to marry from other states, especially those who 1)grew up in anambra or the east 2) who come from the typical anambra family where everyone in their generation is from anambra 3)from rich families.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad but true. I always advice girls not go waste their love on these ones, they would come out here and write chronicles
Very true Bella but if that man lived her enough he will fight for their love. Someone I know, he's from anambra. His wife from Edo. He had to fight to marry her cos his people no gree. He loved her and now they are married with a son. If that man fought he would marry that girl. Enugu isn't far from anambra
DeleteBig lie Anambra guys marry from any where ,abeg leave that story that was days of the old ,back to you poster 2 -i will leave you with this,God Will Cause You A Temporal Ugly Situation Or Disappointment Just To Shift You Away From A Life Time Mistake.
DeletePoster 2-you are the one it happened to not anyfriend ,do what you think is best tell his family.
Yeah, anambra be it man or woman don't really like marrying outside their state.
DeleteBut I don't if the father said such.
9 wasted years!
And they waited for 9yrs to tell her
DeleteWell,am suprised at this because now they have started considering Ebonyi and Enugu,but Imo,Abia is a no no
DeleteBut it's bad. You reject other states and even your tribal person. Na wa
DeleteTo every rule there is an exception. Am from Ebonyi and married to an Anambra Man. I think it all lies with the Man. Be ready to stand for what you belive in. It will take a while but if u stand firm in your beliefs you will eventually draw dem to ur side or ur reasoning.
DeleteI'm from imo state married to an nnewi man..
DeleteThese set of people don't even leave their villages to marry because they believe no one is more superior to them than anyone.. My husband had to insist. It was me or he will never get married..
Funny thing is my mom is from Anambra married to an imo man
At the end of the day they allow him and we got married
What the lady said is true,most anambra men hate to even marry outside their state,but a very few do,so u people should stop saying it's a lie.
Delete@ Lafresh Tribalism is a personal thing so get it ok? some yoruba reject Ijebu people, reason best known to them
Delete@lily na lie , I'm from ondo state married to a lagos /ijebu man same goes for my elder sis , yoruba's reject people based on their family background mostly. .
DeleteThank you Leah! People just like to generalize things and compare but even according to comments from actual Igbos, not all Anambra families are like that but it is the majority of them. Majority of those who married outside the state had to fight, argue with and/or beg their parents to accept and allow them to marry a fellow Igbo from outside the state. I also have many Igbo friends here and the guys from Anambra openly say it that they're looking for specifically Anambra girls to marry, not just any Igbo girl. Very few Yorubas on the other hand Are like that with the Ijebus, especially the ones with such family history or ones who have had one negative experience or the other with an Ijebu man etc but it isn't a tribe-wide or state-wide thing and people like that are not in the majority amongst the Yorubas.
DeletePoster one, tell your friend to keep the child. In loving memory of her lost love.
ReplyDeletePoster two, you would have asked questions well naa. Anambra boys/men stick to theirs. I am sure your bobo has already found another boo. Its a pity.
Big lie ,what is the difference between anambra and enugu abeg no be today yansh dey back.Anambra guys marry from any where they find love ,leave that mama and papa story all na discharging key.
DeleteBootylycious diva leave matter Abeg, u just happen to be from a rare anambra home. All my anambra friends are facing this challenge, my friend's parents finally allowed her elder sis get married to anambra from another side at 32, after bouncing countless suitors (that's how bad it is). Majority of anambra people are like that biko.
DeleteBut in this case I don't think his father said anything. He just made that up. If not they would have showed her they didn't want her when he was away from the country..
DeleteThe guy has met a younger girl
How do you print invitation card without introduction of both families tho?? I don't understand??
Stop deceiving yourself,only a few of them go outside,and better don't join their village meeting them go abuse u tire or see your children as inferior if your mum isn't anambra,that is the bitter truth.
DeleteStop deceiving yourself,only a few of them go outside,and better don't join their village meeting them go abuse u tire or see your children as inferior if your mum isn't anambra,that is the bitter truth.
DeletePoster1: no be today o. Anambra men, fear them!
DeletePoster 2 pls take heart move on. U are not the first to be in a relationship for so many years. I also did that but mine was 10 years. At the beginning of the tenth year the guy from enugu state found someone he was so much in love with and started asking me if he told me he was going to marry me. Chronicle for another day. To the Glory of God today am happily married with 3 kids to an Anambra man and am not from Anambra. Please dear move on, love will soon find u. U didn't see other guys cos this guy has been blocking them. He is also just using his father to make excuse if he want to marry you,nobody can stop him.
DeleteMama zeus if na kanu come for her hand in marriage or na dangote will they bounce them ,if na obasanjo pikin or na Atiku son they wont even remember where the person comes from abeg no be today yansh dey back
Delete@Poster 1, I really felt for that girl, it's not easy but if she can keep the baby, it will be so good, I'm just lost on how to advice her.
ReplyDelete@Poster 2, that your FIL is an enemy of progress, he is evil and very mean, today's chronicles are heart breaking joor. I'm sad for both of you.
*Larry was here*
@ poster 1
ReplyDeleteIf your friend terminates that pregnancy just know she will be barren for life considering the situation at hand. Tell the guys parents else the curse might follow you too, cos ure already guilty by association. chikena.
Common you aint her God!!If you were in her position would you keep the baby? And after a couple of years you will be here to call her gwegs..when it becomes hard to find a man to marry her cos she's a single mum..
DeleteYou have personified yourself God himself to know who will be barren for life continue,nothing person no go see for blog
DeleteImagine comment oooo. Thank God u r not God. Hian
DeleteIt's her choice whether to have the child or not.Why should she semi ruin her life to elongate lineage of an ordinary bf?
DeleteTomorrow all of you will be the same ones calling her after one and baby mama.
Only have the child if you really loved the man, are maybe prepares to stay single forever and want a reminder of him as per he's your soulmate.
Posh baby, really????? LMAO
DeleteAbegi!
Brb
ReplyDeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteMind you fucking business and yes the girl should terminate the pregnancy...
You are a bad friend....imagine you advising someone that has no job to bring a child into this world to suffer...
Mtcheeeeww....
Poster 2,
So you don't know what to do?...
Abeg go and knack pigeon on their head and watch them beg you to marry their son...
Nna mehn,so many mugus on this blog...you people don't know ife ana aru!...
What does knack pigeon on their head mean?
DeleteMost times I wonder if you are for real... smh.
DeleteY do u sound like a child? So aborting such pregnancy is gud abi? Na wa fr u o. Pls jare tell ur Fwend to kip d child as it will b a blessing to her.God will take toatal control.
DeleteLinda do you seriously believe the poster isnt the one .
DeletePoster 2:if you insist follow linda tips ,afterall many girls are in marriage by throwing nwababy at barbeach and nacking pidgin head the end result na to marry .
This woman sef! Why u dey like dis ehn? I've tried throughout this year not to join issues with u, but this ur 1st advice is terrible.
DeleteDem say u don marry & u be mother...I hope they're joking sha!
*Ghanaman signing out*
Linda me sef no understand dis poster one matter oo,how e take concern her?will she be there to always take care of the baby with d mother? Financially nko?did d boy's parent even tell her they want a baby suddenly?they might not voice it out,but they might feel burdened.madam pock noser,i think u should carry ur own cross of life,face front and mind ur bizness,then leave d pregnant gal with her conscience!
DeleteBtw,if na Stella una dey ask,dats d only response u will get as long as it concerns a pregnancy,#rme
.....we all are leaving under God's mercy cos all our righteousness are as filthy rags,(d bible says so).
@poster 2 issue,linda u are now an official dibia of SDK abi?smh.lol!mind yourself oo.here na house of God.
DeleteGhanaman biko let's give peace a chance.
DeleteNo forget say re-dedication comes with a lot of side distractions & temptations.
2016 will b gud bro.
Hahahaha, Linda o. You guys should stop taking her comment serious
DeleteYaay!!
ReplyDeleteYaay!! CBV is here!!!
ReplyDeleteYou av shortened it ni? Hian!!! BVN, IHN, RHT, now it's CBV
DeleteFantabulous advice from Mrs korks.
ReplyDeleteP1: "Wow really sad that she lost him but no matter what happens,she should be thinking of keeping that child...what if she dies or never gets another child in her lifetime,can you live with the guilty conscience that will follow you around.Some people do not have common sense so we have to help them find it.I dont care whatever you are doing,poke nosing or mouth nosing,please inform whoever needs to be informed so that she keeps the baby.
Tell her not to touch that child oh!........God is watching over her and he will see her through any trying period....please do it quickly before she goes behind your back to do it."
Not end time chro chro
Poster one: Contact the parents ASAP, they should be aware their late son left behind a souvenir, that'd really lighten their trauma, you'd not only be saving a generation, but also the mothers lost hope, her reasons for wanting to abort dsnt hold water jo.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: After 9yrs? Any man that can allow his decision of a wife altered by his parents is not a man at all.... i don't think he was that into you anyway, or effects of "See Finish Syndrome"
'Souvenir' on point jare!
DeleteIyalaya anybody
ReplyDeleteThank God this comment came from stelz.
ReplyDeleteEnd time irresponsible ,gullible ..wicked men
Listen to stelz
P1: Hmmmm...some men are wicked!
His father didnt say anything since when you were dating and visiting,it is now eh?Maybe he is using the father to push you out cos he found somebody else or he developed cold feet.Some children who are bread winners can plan anything with their parents and these parents succumb becos of what comes to them.
If you do not get married,leave where you are if you cannot stand the shame.
If you are sure he has moved on,then leave him alone,i dont know what to advice you to do with the heartache that will follow but please just trust God to replace your tears.
I wish you the best as you try to heal.
So you seriously believe his father said anything ,even my either brother uses that then to send his babes them away that my mum said ,just because his the only son ,na my mama my senior brother dey send his you must marry me girlfriends away ,meanwhile mumsy dey pray for him to just get married .If i bring my senior brother gist and girls na me dey even tell them say na lie .
DeleteDon't mind them. The father didn't say that. The guy wants to chase her away without putting the blame on his head
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Please dont abort that kid abeg......
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Poster 1, please inform the lake's boyfriend parents. However they may not take it keenly. Poster 2 these men ain't loyal. So sorry to say this but please move on
ReplyDeletePoster 1: please asap reach out to your friend. That pregnancy should not be tampered with. Not at all. She should please use it as a last respect to her late bf. She will never regret it. That child she is carrying in her womb will be a great blessing to her. I wish her all the best.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: We hear stories like these everydayand we pray we shouldnt be victims. My dear, brace yourself and be strong, its normal to cry yourself out but trust me you will be. Change environment, get busy. If he is yours he will surely come back... sending you an ehug.
Mama & papa u can't tell us what to do u can only advice us.
ReplyDeleteOr na una go help me take care of my family.
Some parents must grow up.
And it's not even biblical.
End time parents back off by fire.
@ poster one;you dont have any right(be you whatever to the lady) to report this lady to her family or to the late guy's family..
ReplyDeleteThere is something called "Decision", "Choice" and "privacy"..
If you dare report that girl to any of the family and she is forced to go against her will;that is the utmost height of betrayal, disrespect and intruding of privacy..
The choices is hers;and she is the one to take the blame for whatever her life turns out to be in future;so leave her to her choices and play your part as A friend which is "Advising her"..
Just learn how not to poke-nose in people's business and choice towards life;cos at the end,WE WILL ALL BE JUDGED..perhaps there is A limit to friendship and you should know where you line ends!!
Note that i never said her plan to terminate that baby is right;but im just laying more emphasis on the quote "Mind your business"..
#Goodluck and also know that if you decide to do as you wish;she can decide to go against you too by ruining your face with Acid..
**A word is enough**
@MARTINS ABOY
@Martins...u don fall hands today. I neva thought u could advise P1 to do such. If her reasons ain't sound...then urs for the poster is way off target! U don really fall hands sha!
Delete*Ghanaman signing out*
Martins u re no longer a boy oo,u are now a man!! POSTER MIND UR GADDAMN BUSINESS
Delete@Ghanaboy nt every1 must agree with u. What is with falling hand? Hisss. Give ur own opinion with reasons, respect other pple's opinions to.
DeleteAsif u know what it is like to have a Child out of wedlock. Pple forming holier than thou here have aborted tire, they have made their mistake, let other make their mistakes to. Its so easy to sat keep it, if she has the child n they train the Child, the child will grow up thinking the mum abandoned him, there will be an itch either ways
@ Ghanaman;sorry if i dissapointed but its just my own 2 cent..few things i ve learnt in life is this;
Delete1) Know your place in people's life and act according to it
2) Always know that The world will always judge you for every decison you make in life;not knowing the choices you had..
I stay in an environment where bad things happen to Good people who had good intentions;and i know exactly what im talking about here..its A long story tho but all i can ask is "What will be the fate of this poster after now" ???
#cheers
@MARTINS ABOY
Martins *big hug*
DeletePoster1, mind ur gaddamn business!!!
Will u help her feed the child?
Will u help her pay the bills?
Will u bear the scar of being a single mother with her?
You are a very terrible friend!!!
Why would u think of acting against your friend?
So she'd keep the child now, next thing she hears he's impregnated a girl some years before n the parents have taken that child in, what will u do?
Madam aproko, if u can't talk her to agreeing to keeping the baby n u blow the horn on her, you'd be miserable just as u want her to be!
U think it's easy to bring a child to this world ?
Let her make her decision pls!
Gbam@Martins Aboy
Delete@ poster 1, I think your friend has the final say.you can try and convince her not to abort, abortion being a sin and all, but I think its all in her hands.at the end of the day, she'd do what will make her happy.
ReplyDelete@ poster 2, I don't get..tribal difference you say? What's the difference btwn anambra and enugu? Enugu was once old anambra state.tell your fiance to convince his people that its all one and the same.na una wan form biafra abi? I laugh in mandarin.
My dear biafra has nothing to do with marriage, if nigeria with 500 tribes can last 100 years then biafra with less than 10 tribes will last 100 million years.time will tell. igbos take marriage very serious,even If you are from a broken home some families in the east will not marry you etc but that has nothing to do with Biafra.Leave biafra alone,wish us well and it shall be well with u.
DeletePoster2 let me tell you something, a guy that I loved so much dealt with me dumped me gave me unnecessary reasons, I cried so much, I asked God why, I left him , I prayed now I have met two very serious great guys, God may be passing a message across to u that u will regret marrying that man, I know it is hard, leave him, pray and see God, s work.
ReplyDeletePoster one, please let her not abort, if d parents of d boy would take responsibility, let her give birth n give dem d child n find her way. It would really soothe his parents.
ReplyDeletePoster two, guy has found another babe, he's using his dad as an excuse but sometimes it's not good to disobey ur parents. He might be telling d truth.
ReplyDeleteYou too correct
DeleteGod bless you
DeletePoster one,thunder fire you there!!! Are you mad ni? So you want her to become a single mother to a child whose Father is dead? A 24 year old girl?She should throw away her whole life and everything she has worked for to become a baby mama to a dead guy? How wicked can you be? The guy is dead!!! Only child or only son doesn't matter.Life is for the living abeg.Let her take whatever decision she feels is best for her.Stella,Who'd believe her story when she tells it? As far as the society is concerned,she'll be known as an after one,pardon my french please. ..but it's what it is o.A girl who has her whole life ahead of her should be tied down with a baby? Nawa for you o,better be guided o.
ReplyDeleteSassy kool temper my love ,na poster eh happen to ,not any friend
Delete@Sassy...I pray thunder doesn't fire u 1st for this silly reasoning of urs. With determination & a little luck, millions of single parents have made it in life. The taste of the pudding is in the eating.
DeleteAnd y'all be forming women & mothers here everytime? With this kind yeye mentality? Hian!
*Ghanaman signing out*
You are a fool,What if she was married to the guy,she will strangle the baby right?
DeleteNo mind d idiotic poster..pls she should move on with her life abeg..in d long run,dey will take d child away but can't take away the baby mama tag from her
DeleteGhanaman,I've been seeing you display stupidity on this blog via your comments and I just ignore cuz your madness never reach my side.I'll let this one slide today but if you try this nonsense again, na my matter go kill you last last o.
DeleteU still dey learn work jare!
DeleteThe 1st thing wey u fit type na "make thunder fire person"...And yet u claim to have sense.
I shake yansh for some of una here! Tufiakwa!
How person go come here for advice & the 1st thing u see to tell her na make thunder fire her! Still beats me how y'all relate with ur 'supposed bfs/hubby/dh....and whatever term u gals use! Mstcheeeww!
DeleteA colleague just got married and the husband died and she just discovered she's pregnant ...from this advice. I'm assuming you'll rather she aborts so her life will be easier....
DeleteI'm usually against the holier than thou attitude when it comes to this but considering this peculiar situation, she should consider it.esp cos the man was the only son..
I'm more worried about the family thinking she was to ingratiate herslf into the family using the pregnancy..
Yes Ghana twerp,thunder will fire her and also fire your miserable life!!! Idiot like you.Oponu rada rada.I've seen how sensible you are with your advice.If you don't like my advice,find a transformer and hug the hell out of it.Hungry looking bastard.
DeleteNo need arguing with a fool. She'll just drag me down to her level & beat me. She's already doing it sef! Make I give up!
DeleteLook who's calling someone a fool,you obviously don't own a mirror.Takes one to know one doesn't it? Ass wipe!!
Deleteposter one ..... advise her abt keeping the baby but i understand d pain she will go tru if she eventually have d baby ...... it wil al;ways remind her of her dead lover but dont disclose it to d guys family yourself you might become her enemy forever
ReplyDeleteposter two ....he has found sumone else nd using his dad as an undercover .... you have bin visitin d family while he was away why d sudden change,,,,,, count your loses nd move on the best is yet to come
love you all
Narrative 2. I'm so sorry but the fact remains that most Anambra guys are that way. Their parents always want them to marry their fellow Anambra. I can tell you that he won't go back on what his parents has said. So my dear please just let go of him n God Will give you a Suitor. Amen
ReplyDelete@Poster 1,Stella has said it all.Call or contact necessary bodies involved.
ReplyDelete@Poster 2,U cannot force love,noone can change a man's heart except its done willingly.I can 100% guarantee u dat ur guy found anoda chick.Hence,d sudden disapproval of his dad.If u r truly faithful to God,he will bring him back 2 u and if its not urs,then ur best is yet 2 cum.Take e-hugs coz I undastand u perfectly.
Both chronicles brokw my heart
ReplyDeleteposter 1, please if the girl can read this, let her not abort that pregnancy if she truly loved him when he was alive. keeping that pregnancy will be consoling to the family and her.
24 years old is matured and i pray she does the right thing.
Narrative 2, sometimes things happen to us not because of what we have done but because God is trying to deliver us from something in our future.
ReplyDeleteCry and wipe your eyes. One day you will look back and thank God that he looked into your future and rescued from you from this relationship.
Please don't force things that are not meant to be. You will live to regret it.
Now your heart will feel like someone is ripping it out of your chest but please hold on to God. He knows what is best for you.
Just go back to God and tell him everything then ask him for your own. He will surprise you.
Poster 1, Alert d parents of d late boyfriend.
ReplyDeletePoster 2; The lord is your strength. Every disappointment is a blessing in disguise. What if you marry him nd he dies untimely. Let him go , he isn't good enough for you.
Poster one,please I beg u in the name of God to blow the whistle on her already... she may hate u for it now,but she will thank u later in the nearest future. Apart from the fact that she may not have another child in her life again,Abortion is a big sin. Please tell everyone tellable... you are a good friend.
ReplyDeletePoster two,if you want to pull through in life,learn how to say thank you even when the situations are not to our comfort. You don't know what God has averted for you in future. I'm sure you will get over him and get your own man soon enough.
But when will this tribal issue come to an end in this country?! Don't marry ibo,dont marry yoruba,edo ppl are wicked... bla bla bla.
Nawa.
Stella, ur capital letters attracted me here
ReplyDeleteSecond narrative; contrary to Stella's view that he maybe the one plotting it, pls he is not!!!
I am from Anambra and my people love doing this rubbish!!! It takes only a very STRONG person to not fall for this their silly pressure
My dear, go down on ur knees and start begging God that he shouldn't let what is urs leave you! That if ur man is truly urs, let him plant his spirit inside him to speak up for u lot's love
While at it, keep tabs on him. Just try the much you can! Visit, talk sense into him. Give him every reasons why he needs to stand for what he believes in
After u have done ur best, coupled with prayers and he still decides to leave; ALLOW him to go and watch God surprise u in future
All the best m'dear
*I have warned my people not to force this rubbish on me when I am ready to marry, else... Thank God they know I don't take shit*
My dear talk less,life itself is a lesson,I have an aunty who said she must marry one Yorba man,now she is the person who goes about advising people against marrying yoruba,let us just pray.
DeleteAnon, that's one out of many! Maybe she married a bad man or she wasn't fully prepared to embrace her new culture
DeleteBefore u decide to leave ur culture, u should know u will meet a DIFFERENT way of life from what u knew back home! If u can't adjust, stick with ur tribe!
Personally I believe a lot in LOVE. No matter where my hubby comes from, so long as he loves me a lot and I love him too; I will adjust and embrace my new family's way of life
Finally, do u know some families use jazz to curse ur union if u go against their will* in marriage? U will suffer so much when u step in, without knowing ur problems are from ur own people
My dear leave matter
Poster 1;she has the right to do whatever she wants with her body.... But abortion is a no no let her inform the boys family ...I'm so sure they will take care of her upkeep and that of the child... The guilt that would follow her if she does otherwise will be uncomprehending.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: My dear God will heal you cos I don't pray to be in your shoes right now... He will console u but I'd advice u to call him face to face let him man up and tell you to your face ,u would suck strength from that closure .... I don't think his father said anything,it could be God just saving you...he's not meant for u . Pele dear
Poster 1, Do as Stella instructed.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Pray.. When marriage preparation comes, they are forces that tries to stop it, what your prayer does is to alter every distraction. PUSH(Pray Until Something Happens)now, it's never too late. Good luck and HML in advance
Poster 1; it's not like they were married or even engaged.please let this girl be. The decision is hers to make and not yours.
ReplyDeleteShebi soon you ll join and call her "after 1".
Poster 2,pleasr leave the guy,i can tell u that in a few years time u will be glad u did,though 79% of them come back crawling and begging, u can take him back,after much shakara, but for now leave him and allow nature run its course,the little change he has is sharking him,keave him.u will be hurt for a while, but u will surely come out fine
ReplyDeletePoster two,So Anambra too no dey gree marry Enugu their neighbours? I thought it was Imo,and sometimes Abia? This guy is just using his Dad as an excuse jor.My niggur has since found someone else and just using his Dad to lie....My dear,try and move on.Cry all you want but please accept your fate and dust yourself off.One thing my ex thought me and I've come to realise is true is that for every lost love you think is impossible to replace,there's always a better person/lover out there.It might take you time,but you'll definitely find him.Ife oma adiro agwu agwu Nne.*I cover myself and all my friends from all these wicked Anambra Mma anyi si guys*
ReplyDelete*taught*
DeleteTeacher Agnes.
DeleteNne m iji okwu. I don't even look their way at all. Mma anyi si.
DeleteWho is this mosquito?
DeletePoster 1.. God is her strength. It is a hard decision. Let her weigh d options.
ReplyDeletePoster 2... Carry his name go cele make dem naka very well. D father na yeye man. Don't sit down oo. Do midnight prayers for his foolish head
Poster2,please allow the lady to take the decision herself, but just talk to her to know the.danger of aborting the baby,and also let her know she will be aborting the guys family's joy
ReplyDeleteSad chronicles! @ posters 1 & 2 i concur with Stella's advice. God will see u through.
ReplyDeleteAtheist u are foolish. So u are a souvenir. Nonsense. Be fooling itself.
ReplyDelete#1: Honey, as emotionally disturbing as this predicament is, and as much as you love your friend, the tale isn't yours to tell. Your loyalty should lie with your friend and not with her late boyfriend's parents. Sweetie, I feel your pain, trust me, I do, but you must allow her make her decisions and support her as the friend you are. It's her life and her body, therefore it's purely her decision. I'm not for abortion but I respect people's choices after I try to talk them out of it.
ReplyDeleteYou should be there for her at this trying time. She just lost a lover at 24 years and it turns out she's with his child. That is monumentally traumatic! Please don't add to her pain by ratting her out to her late boyfriend's parents. Let it be her decision. As a parent, I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child, worse of, an only son but you must consider your friend's feelings before any other person's. This is a very complex situation because nobody can be certain about the outcome, you might be shocked at the parents' reaction. Keeping the baby is the right thing to do but you must not only consider how happy her late boyfriend's parents will be, you should also consider how keeping the baby will affect your friend. Your friend's wellbeing should be your priority.
Wow! Life surely knows how to throw its infamous curve balls at times, hence the phrase "life happens" If the guy were alive, it would have been a lot easier. Quite unfortunate. Please be that shoulder she needs right now, be less judgmental and more supportive. You can attain a lot through tenderness, you may be able to convince her to keep the baby, not necessarily because of continuing any bloodline but because of her and what the future may hold and the repercussions of aborting the baby. She's emotionally fragile right now so you must show her your loyalty lies with her and you'll always be there for her no matter what.
Please accept my heart felt condolence.
#e-bearhugs.
Thank you Ronalda,how I've missed reading your comments.
DeletePoster 2. My brother is having the same issues with his girlfriend. He's from Akwaibom and she is from Anambra. Her family even wants to disown hee if she marry him
ReplyDeleteAka ibom the womanizers,I pity her too much.
DeleteAnon, you are a fool! And your man doesn't womanize abi? As if it's by tribe...ode
DeleteAkwa-Ibom? Lol. They love women die.
DeletePoster 2. My brother is having the same issues with his girlfriend. He's from Akwaibom and she is from Anambra. Her family even wants to disown hee if she marry him
ReplyDeleteTell ur brother to move on o. Not possible except if he is xtremely rich but yet some anambra will still reject him
DeleteP1,please advise her to keep the child and tell whoever that needs to know about this.
ReplyDeleteP2, how come your fiance's father is kicking against the marriage now that the weeding card is out and has been shared? Was there no negotiation between his people and your people before it got to printing and sharing of cards? Where was he when all these were going on? I doubt if this story is complete.
My dear u will be surprised the length my people will go
DeleteThey will keep u quiet ka izuzu sha**... till time for the real deal comes!
It is a very wicked thing they do! Everyone around me knows I condemn this act ALWAYS
Buh how many u wan condemn?
Some families even go diabolical to turn ur eyes back home according to them
Ifeneme sha*
Poster 2 story isn't complete
DeleteHow do you go about sharing invitation card when both families haven't come together for introduction and all..
So if both families came up from introduction and a date was fixed, and cards printed out, what now made the father in law to change his mind now..??
I say this because I know Igbo culture..
There must be first knocking of door
Then second knocking of door to pay bride price and talk about traditional marriage and white wedding or if bride price would hold same as as traditional marriage.. There must have been communication with both families
So if you printed traditional marriage card or church wedding what then happened that made your father in law to suddenly decide not to marry you into his family...
Fab mum
DeleteI have a cousin, bride price was paid and all
Trad and wedding preparations was ongoing (asoebi out too) when her dad suddenly remembered he is Knight in the catholic church and she must we'd in cath church
The boy's father is a pastor in the Anglican church. He refused and insisted they must we'd in his church
After much argument and deliberations, her bride price was returned and trad/wedding was CANCELLED
(Today she is married to a catholic man but trapped in an unhappy union)
I totally believe this poster is telling the truth
Poster one telling the guys parents and her parents isn't poke nosing...u re merely doing the right thing...Pls tell them without further delay...she may not be pleased wt u now, but some years to come she won't stop blessing u...do the right thing not minding whose ox is gored...dont be a party to murder, abortion is murder.
ReplyDeletePoster one telling the guys parents and her parents isn't poke nosing...u re merely doing the right thing...Pls tell them without further delay...she may not be pleased wt u now, but some years to come she won't stop blessing u...do the right thing not minding whose ox is gored...dont be a party to murder, abortion is murder.
ReplyDeletePS 1: You are the real player here... I feel your friend is weak and confuse, but u need to give her strength and make her understand why she needs to keep the baby and make her parent know.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me that things happen for a reason.. for her to get pregnant is not a total mistake. I will advice to involve an elderly person who has more life experience to speak with your friend. Address this careful and am sure you & ur friend will be guided orderly. GOD LEAD YOU
P2: I believe ur bf has more role to play in this issue.. Yet his father can say alternative but he cannot decide for HIM..
You need not to disturb but to pray and seek Gods intervention on the issue and above all ur LIFE.. Remember BETTER is Good but 'BEST' is Better.
'TRUTH IS TRUTH NO NEED OF MAJORITY VOTE'
If the boy had a hand in it, he won't maintain communication when he travelled
DeleteThat boy is innocent
It is his FAMILY
PS 1: You are the real player here... I feel your friend is weak and confuse, but u need to give her strength and make her understand why she needs to keep the baby and make her parent know.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me that things happen for a reason.. for her to get pregnant is not a total mistake. I will advice to involve an elderly person who has more life experience to speak with your friend. Address this careful and am sure you & ur friend will be guided orderly. GOD LEAD YOU
P2: I believe ur bf has more role to play in this issue.. Yet his father can say alternative but he cannot decide for HIM..
You need not to disturb but to pray and seek Gods intervention on the issue and above all ur LIFE.. Remember BETTER is Good but 'BEST' is Better.
'TRUTH IS TRUTH NO NEED OF MAJORITY VOTE'
@poster 1 : as a good friend, you have adviced her about keeping the baby but that is where your input should stop!
ReplyDeleteI am and will never support abortion but you have no right whatsoever to contact her family or the dead guy's family. Please mind your business and let her weigh her choices while we hope for good sense to prevail because,you won't go through the ropes with her.
Being a single parent ain't easy, it's a decision she has to weigh the pros n cons very well.
ReplyDeleteP.2 please move on, we know its not easy especially as your man has ported. Its well, time heals all wounds.
P1: madam pokenoser, when she finally gives birth, is it you that will provide the finances for her to take care of the child knowing fully well she has no means to do so, would u also give her your brother to marry after she gives birth knowing fully well that in this society, its difficult for single mom to marry after childbirth ? It's her decision to make, let her be & stop being sentimental about it
ReplyDeleteP2: pele, u have been scammed. If he really loved you, he won't listen to his father. Just place a curse on him & move on.
Poster1...tell d guy parent that a girl is preg for dia late son and if they dont agree let her abort it except if she can take kia of d child.
ReplyDeletePoster2 I dunno wat to say ooo but its beta you let him go, I no know wetin ibadan go do if anambra cannot marry enugu...
Beta days ahead
At this point your friend is saddened about having this child out of wedlock and the father will not even be there to support her. She needs lots of love,encouragement and support to have this baby. Your decision is right to involved the two families but make sure the man's family first so that there won't be any compromise from her parent too. God bless for helping a friend in need.
ReplyDeleteI only have advice for the first chronicle
ReplyDeleteHello Miss whistle blower,mind your damn business.
For crying out loud that girl was never married to the guy and she's just 24. She has her life to live so do not advice her into keeping a baby she doesn't want to
Stop being meddlesome and let her make her own decision.
Poster 1 Hmmmm kip d baby
ReplyDeletePoster 2 try n move on it is well
#2: Oh my love! I'm even scared of trying to imagine what you must be feeling now. This is one of the downsides of long courtship, the excitement usually fizzles out before the marriage takes place, that is if it ever takes place.
ReplyDelete
What's done is done. Playing everything back in your mind will make you go crazy and you still wouldn't make sense of it, like a bad dream you can't wakeup from.
My darling, as hard as this may be, you must find it in your heart to forgive him and his family so God can step in and turn every around in your favour. You have to fight this battle on your knees and you can't go into spiritual warfare with bitterness in your heart. Forgive them for your sake. Keep praying, my love, prayer changes things. It's not over till God says so. If he's yours, he will certainly come back. But if he isn't, God will send you a man 10 times better. Please, never be tempted to pray any evil prayer for him or the new lady. What he did is the height of betrayal but pray to God to remove bitterness from your heart. Keep saying this aloud, "nobody can take who or what belongs to me, what is mine will never pass on to another and I will never labour for someone else to reap where I sowed. I must enjoy the fruits of my labour, in Jesus' Name" keep saying this everyday.
God has the final say, not man nor family. God will turn your shame to fame and your Psalm 25 will become your Psalm 126. Please my darling, don't give up hope, dare to hope against hope and trust God, the shame remover and the tear wiper, to show up for you. PUSH, darling, pray until something happens. Only God can console you right now. 1 year of bliss can erase 9 years of pain. Once God brings the right man into your life, you begin to laugh at what would have made you cry. God will compensate you for your labour of love, love will always be rewarded. Keep your head up, joy always comes in the morning. You will survive this, some women were left at the Altar but they are happily married today.
#e-bearhugsandkisses.
let him go and do not let the thoughts of him hurt you further. This could be very hard to overcome but you will come out stronger. Wait and hope on God, He will bring along a man who would love, adore and spoil you with love.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best.
Poster 1 pls inform the guy 's parents "your" friend must not abort the pregnancy .God will see her through.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 pls forget about the guy.he doesn't want you anymore. May God comfort you.
Biafrans rejecting each other, I'm so sorry poster 2, this thing can hurt mehn, It is well.
ReplyDeleteDon't siblings fight?whether you guys like it or not God's will must prevail
DeletePoster2,the guy only kept u for financial gains since u pointed he was broke all thru,u obviously were giving him some kind of support abi?na so e dey be,most broke guys are only loyal during their season of dryness.note that it's not d parents,its he dat decided.else during his period of absence while u always visited, they would have shown u their disapproval somehow.
ReplyDeleteMove on!trust God,he will give u a better option.btw if it will cost u a lot to relocate,dont bother!stay where u are but u have to make up ur mind to block ur ears and ignore all gossips,cos pple will always talk!give them time to enjoy the gossip,its only a matter of few weeks it will wane in their mouths.them go tire.dont let anything make u start packing and running helter skelter in dis life,its a sign of weakness!
"I AM THE QUEER AND BUS OF THIS BLOG"
ReplyDeleteYou see your character in your pieces of advice to these posters? You want this lady to KILL AN INNOCENT CHILD because of what you call "poverty". Did she tell you that this girl's parent or the late boyfriend's parent are "poor"?
Now you also want poster 2 to "knack pigeon"; fetishism? Oh, what kind of depraved and distorted mind are you? Very soon the "pigeon you knacked on that innocent puppet of yours" you call a husband will soon expire and he will kick you out. For now while it "works", you can continue to "cheat for pleasure" and " fuck girls" (using your own words of course). Your judgment is very near at the door.
Biko what do we call this poster 2's wahala now? State-ism? My people, my people we have moved from tribalism to another one. Chic please let him be. If he cannot stand up to his parents then thank your God he has gone. However if he comes back to beg and you still like him, tell him to pay the bride price but close your legs tight till he puts a ring on it.
ReplyDelete@poster 1,
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a frenemy!
How could you advice your friend to keep such a pregnancy?I am sure she doesn't want to,stop forcing her to dance to your tune!
Pls allow her to do what her mind is telling her and nothing will go wrong.Kai!!!
@poster 2,Move on,such is life!
Poster 1: Tell d parents of both d gurl ND d guy. Poster 2: I just ave a very strange feeling say dat mans father no talk anytim. D man is probably seeing sum one else ND using his dad as an excuse. So take her nd move on
ReplyDeletePoster 1,do all in your capacity to make her not to remove the baby. Poster 2,please tell that guy he is a Big fool and a compound one at that. When did Anambra and Enugu stop getting married? Also tell the guy he is a Liar. I don't believe his story. Well my dear dust yourself up and move on,I know it's a very difficult thing to do. May God give you the Grave needed
ReplyDeleteDear, that guy is not lying
DeleteThis is Anambra for u
Even inside Anambra, they have issues with Local govt sef; talk more of state
The strong headed ones and more enlightened families allow it
Majorly depends on the guy or girl (from Anambra). They will fight u ehnn, especially spiritually. Not everyone is strong for spiritual battles, talk more of one against ur own family
I wish this poster the best sha
Babe, get on ur KNEES and pray, also keep tab on that guy (even if his head is offing) that's all I can tell u
P1, just exactly like my story, exactly. I was 21. One thing I know for sure is that she will never regret birthing that child. Please tell the whole of her family if need be and if there's anyone that wants her to terminate the pregnancy report the person to God. The Lord will strengthen her and be take care of her. P2, I know its hard but just move on please
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. Men! They are worst than the devil. Stella I really agree to Wat u said to poster 2.
ReplyDeleteSame kinda thin happened to me. Me EX wld & I were a very good item. All of a sudden wen preparations were abt to begin, all his fam were suddenly against me. Dunno their reasons. I tried fighting for us to work out, to make them believe i am a true half for him but No. Wat happened, He jumped to the next Igbo girl n started dating her ages even before I called it off! Wickedness of the highest places....... Well, He used his family as the major reason just to date this other girl. But I won't wish him bad at all. Still prayed good prayers for him the whole of last year. Left it all to God & Karma definitely wld be served cold cos I trust in my GOD of vengeance
P1
ReplyDeleteSingle parenting no b werin person go jus wake up wish for except u hav a steady source of income or paymaster ready to foot ur bills.wot if d supposed parents of d guy neva see chop mk e remain grandchild?..don't push her to doing what she doesn't. U no b her mama.
P2
I feel ur pain buh it still doesn't add up!..una no do introduction ni or marriage course wer dey even read announcements for 3 Sundays before una print cards?..nne am from Anambra n I can categorically tell u if he wants to marry u his parents hv no choice.except u hv don somfin to piss his dad off.God may b averting something cos na so I bin wan die on top one obiora matter later on he died of cancer na so I 4 b widow. Nnem take it to God in prayers and let it go.his gifts added not sorrows but riches in glory.
Narrative2, ur bf has found another mugu for abroad wey him go.....im so sure of dat.
ReplyDeleteSo nine years of ur life is gone just like DAT? Chai men are pure evil. Sorry oooh, I cant tell u it will be easy but I can tell u dat u will one day sit and smile and say tank God i din't make d biggest mistake of my life.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 the people that are telling you its not your call are not serious. Just know that your friend would blame you in future when she starts regretting. She would say you are a bad friend because you knew she was not emotionally stable and instead of you to advise her correctly you advised her wrongly. You better reach out to her parents and the boys parent and make sure that she has that baby. Let me just tell you now your friend would hate you whether she aborts or keeps the baby. She would hate you if she aborts and that hatred would be for long and filled with regrets, angry and un-forgiveness (it may also end the friendship). She would also hate you if she keeps the baby and discomforts from being a single mom come up, but this hatred would be very short-lived and can turn into deep joy and appreciation when the baby grows and she starts reaping the benefits of having a child. And it is not by chance that you are in this situation with your friend. You have a role to play in this child's life, you are supposed to be the child's God-parent. So better ready yourself for the hatred from your friend and do the right thing because God will ask you about this.
ReplyDeleteDo not abort, and make it clear you will not support that choice for her. My mom aborted her first child, now my mom's first child alive doesn't carry my mom like a first child should and my mom's heart breaks everyday that see what her first daughter/child is doing to her. It was after my mom opened up to me that she aborted her first that it began to make sense to me. My sister can never ever behave like a first child cos she is not the first. All these things have very deep spiritual implications that manifest throughout live. Be careful
Poster 1 the people that are telling you its not your call are not serious. Just know that your friend would blame you in future when she starts regretting. She would say you are a bad friend because you knew she was not emotionally stable and instead of you to advise her correctly you advised her wrongly. You better reach out to her parents and the boys parent and make sure that she has that baby. Let me just tell you now your friend would hate you whether she aborts or keeps the baby. She would hate you if she aborts and that hatred would be for long and filled with regrets, angry and un-forgiveness (it may also end the friendship). She would also hate you if she keeps the baby and discomforts from being a single mom come up, but this hatred would be very short-lived and can turn into deep joy and appreciation when the baby grows and she starts reaping the benefits of having a child. And it is not by chance that you are in this situation with your friend. You have a role to play in this child's life, you are supposed to be the child's God-parent. So better ready yourself for the hatred from your friend and do the right thing because God will ask you about this.
ReplyDeleteDo not abort, and make it clear you will not support that choice for her. My mom aborted her first child, now my mom's first child alive doesn't carry my mom like a first child should and my mom's heart breaks everyday that see what her first daughter/child is doing to her. It was after my mom opened up to me that she aborted her first that it began to make sense to me. My sister can never ever behave like a first child cos she is not the first. All these things have very deep spiritual implications that manifest throughout live. Be careful
If she however aborts after this, don't judge her. Be supportive
Poster 2, I'm also heart broken , even though I'm the one that made the decision to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years, he takes me granted too much, anytime we have misunderstanding he waits for me to beg and beg, if I don't beg for a week we won't talk to each other. I'm very gullible and emotional so he's taking advantage of that but I've decided to let it go, It's very painful cz I've been a very good and patient person. I need to heal, please you guys should tell me encouraging things or books I can read to make me move on. Pleaseeee. Thanks guys
ReplyDeleteA guy that loves you cannot wait for a whole one week for your call, I used to be a mugu, but noe I am strong and wise to men, I do the shakara and they beg, men don't like easy girls, they love Tough girls
Delete*now
Delete@ Anonymous18:43
Deletegood a thing u moved on but I bet u he would cm bk begging u. Please don't go bk. U deserve better or else even if u get married to him u will be d one begging thru out. I was in ur shoes few months bk and the only thing dat helped me move on was God. Read the bible always and pray. U will feel so much relief and peace. If u hv a pastor u can relate with, talk with him to join faith in prayers with you as well. U will be fine in no time and u will ask urself why u even wasted two yrs of ur life with ur ex. Also remember as ur praying for a good man, some guy else where is also praying for a good wife. So jst pray for God to help ur ordained to locate u. Becos the second worst hell apart frm hell fire is a bad marriage. And most times God gives us signs early in d relationship but we tend to ignore it with the term dat no one is perfect or a bird at hand is worth a thousand in d bush. Which is so wrong. My dear u will heal. Jst give ur self time and dont try to get a rebound to help with d pain. It doesn't help but rather complicate issues. GOD IS JST ENOUGH SOLUTION FOR U IF YOU TRUST HIM.
Poster 2: I don't think the guy is being sincere with you. It is true that Anambra men hardly go out of the state to marry but things are changing now. I have two marternal unlces, one married from Kogi and the other Enugu and they are typical Anambra men. They actually stay in the village. And there are no issues.
ReplyDeleteIf the guy's parents does not want you, they will tell him initailly, they should not have welcomed you. You should seen the signs that you are not wanted. Secondly, there is no way they will go ahead with marriage plans if they were not interested. I guess they must have gotten in touch with your people before all the plans started. If they don't want him to marry you, they will not proceed with any marital plans.
The problem is not his parents, he is not telling you the whole truth.
Anonymous 18.43 make God and the Bible your best friend. Start working for God by joining one or two department in ur church. You will be surprised at d out come. It is well with you
ReplyDeleteThis is the reason I cannot date a broke guy
ReplyDeleteThings are really happening in dis world of ours..
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Well,Am not going to try to condemmn ur efforts or school of thought parsae,based on ur "frnds problem"..but note dat d problem in its entirity is ur frnds n not urs.
forthwith,it'll be uncalled for and barbaric for u to make such though life decisions for frnd, irrespective of the fact dat u wanna help d deceased parent get a "HEIR", frm their only hope..Am sorry hon,But the fact still ramains that its not ur call,buh ur frnds..
If u really wanna help u jst have to talk ur frnd into it first,get her consent,make her see a reason to do it, then uor goog to go,buh if not,then u dnt have a choice than to let go, cos u can't help the family at d detriment of ur frnds happiness...
Poster 2: thers's no need for any emotional tantrums,blames n tears...all u need do is pray to God cos he still lives..if d guy is meant for u,den he's yours..shikinah..prayer is really powerful...
BARR CHARLES..
Poster 2 as hard as it is just move on. An Anambra man once he has received instruction from his father not to marry outside will NEVER marry you. It happened to my sister 3 times after long term relationships with all 3 Anambra men who all claimed to love her. When it came to marriage it was the same "over my dead body" we heard. One of these guys had an uncle who married a lady from Anambra but not from the village he was required to marry from and they still never acknowledged her after years of marriage, just imagine that. My advice is just pick up the pieces of your life and carry on.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: To tell the truth I was shocked to see some BVs blasting her, calling her a poke noser, telling her the guy is dead. Because he's dead he suddenly becomes "the guy". Thunder fire all of una wey make dat kind comment. They shared something wonderful. If she really loved the guy she should keep the baby.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend that dated a guy for four years, just when they were about walking down the aisle, he left her. Later she discovered she was pregnant. She was confused, but I was resolute. I emphasized that she should keep the pregnancy. I told her to tell her adanne, or I'll help her do so. I begged, cajoled, petted her. She told her family. Surprisingly, all supported her(except her dad). She had a handsome baby boy. He's her world today. Daddy has also come round.
I know being a single parent is not easy, but she should please do it for the love she shared with him. She'll surely get married to another great guy later.
Poster 2: I feel your pain. I'm from Enugu, while hubby is from Anambra. It wasn't easy at all, but he stood his ground. I advice you don't look desperate in front of this guy. Nwannem, show him you're stronger. Call him, talk to him one last time, cause the problem is from him, not his parents. If he refuses to see reason, let go. Cry in private and move on. Most importantly, pray. Don't use jazz as a psycho suggested. Nkegi na abia ooo.
Poster 2, am gonna give you some cold hard truth. Your guy has another girl in mind, period. And though he owes you the truth,he does NOT owe you marriage. Whatever his reasons are anyway, whether his father said no or not doesn't matter. You can't be with this guy cos he doesn't love you anymore. He used to, but he probably loves someone else now. If you go ahead and marry him, he will want you to worship him for doing you a favor - fighting his family and defying his father for you. And he could hate you in the long run cos he is already confused and double minded.And don't run away from your life, don't mind Stella. If a relationship doesn't work out, why should the woman bear the shame.Why should she hide and not the man, why is she ridiculed? Abegi, continue your life. Be a Toke. And pls don't be one of those foolish women waiting for Karma. There's no karma. This is adulthood, this is life. Some things work, some don't.
ReplyDeleteAnd to all Nigerian women - pls wake up from all these sob stories that beg for pity. Stand and make something out of your life. Throw all that anger of heart break into a project and be successful. Forget all these fuck boys, don't spend your life in a 10yr relationship hoping and praying and begging to be married. Nobody owes you anything ,not even marriage. Receive brain.
I can actually relate myself to the both chronicles. And it brought me to tears.
ReplyDelete@ poster1 please please and please advice your frend not to terminate that baby and tell any1 tellable to ensure she doesn't abort it becos she would cm to regret it every day of her life.and to start with its a big sin to God. I knw its not easy but trust God in his infinite mercy will surprise her with all she needs according to his riches in glory.
@
poster2 I understand the feeling. Its so painful like sm1 is reaping ur heart apart. But my dear dats God trying to deliver you frm wats nt yours. U will thank him later for saving u frm this. I jst pray God will give u the grace to pull through the hurts and the only way to do so that will give u peace that surpasses all understanding is to trust God,pray more now and always be in his presence. And I bet u in no time all this will be a thing of the past and u will find someone deserving. That is 4 sure.
Poster 1: I agree with stella
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Did his father give any reason why you can't marry his Son?
But wait oooo, wat's wrong with Enugu and anambra getting married?..SMH and to think dis Igbo people want their own Country...Yet they discriminate among themselves.
Poster 1: it's her call .
ReplyDeleteYou might think it's best to continue the dead bf's lineage but just know she would end up bitter at you if at the end of the day, her single mothership is the cause of her being single and lonely .
She would probably lay heavy curses on you, later in life if things don't work out fine for her . Imagine you enjoying your home and because she's a single mom in future she's Yet to see a man that stays ... How would u even feel, knowing you made the decision for her ? With her heavy curses , u Sef will not enjoy ur home .
We Africans cross our boundaries way too much . Leave her to make her own decision o .. It's her life. You have no right to tell anyone she's pregnant .
A lot of mothers won't agree for their sons to bring home a single mother o ... They won't Wana hear this long story you just typed . All they know is she was sleeping around at that age ..don't spoil your friends blue ls with your reggae Biko
At the end of the day , every man to him judgement . ...
In as much as I don't support abortion, I think it's a personal decision. Most of us are always quick to give advice because it's someone else and want to feel we are good people but won't go route we advice if the table is turned.
ReplyDelete@ poster one, so because he was the only son, she should birth the baby and gift the boy's family and move on ? Wow!!!. if you were in her shoes honestly, do you think you can do that or will you advice your sister thusly?
You have no business blowing any whistle, no business what so ever!
Please mind your business. Your intentions to me doesn't have your friend's interest at heart, you are so concerned with soothing the grieving parents of the late guy and making them happy as you want to fix his death with the child so they see you as a messiah.
Please mind your business!
P1:I've heard of a young dude that died in an accident and his mum went about asking his friends if he had a child or pregnant girlfriend. Your friend should reach out to his parents. I will be shocked if they say they aren't interested. She could even leave the baby with his parents if she has no intention of being a single mum. All the best.
ReplyDeleteP2: after the rain comes sunshine. You will look back someday and thank God for this disappointment. Maintain a positive attitude dear.
Okay people!! I read the first Chronicle and based on the comments, I have a suggestion. Poster 1, should encourage her friend to. Keep the baby. Her friend needs to notify the guy's parents. Personally, l am certain they will accept the child gladly. It wouldn't bring their Son back but it will give them great joy. Also, if they want nothing to do with the child, then na our pikin be that. Yes, our child. SDK's blog visitors baby. We all that encouraged her to tell on her friend will collectively adopt the child and set a fund up for the child's up keep. Who is in?
ReplyDeleteI'm in 100%
DeleteI'm in too
ReplyDeletePoster 2... What do i say than God will take charge. Mine was 7years,at the verge of getting married, he just got up and said cancel all wedding plans. He behaved like he was remote controlled, because he came back after 2 weeks apologizing that he didn't know what happened. The next thing, he quit his job, asked me to forget everything. i was like a zombie, my mum asked him not to quit his job, he refused, people called, advised him, that Osun boy didn't listen. The most painful part is not knowing your crime to be rejected and shamed after so many years. He called my mum December of that year to wish her a merry Christmas, He told my mum everything will be fine. To cut the long story short. I didn't go to any church, am a catholic, i tried going for prayers to RCCG Camp and Faith Tabernacle. But i sat down and said to myself, they say is Jazz from his Ondo mother, who never wanted a non-yoruba, well i leave her to God who is the Father to the Fatherless. My dear people will ask you do this do that, dont do anything and annoy God. My family didnt know how to console me being the strongest. My mother just said to me my daughter the day anything can defeat LOVE is the day devil will triumph over God, i was suicidal but i healed and i bless God for my family, my mum and family prayed with me, i did deliverance,because its 7years and he gave to my father's compound to propose, he has my traditional marriage list, he has my pictures. You will get from pain, to anger then indifference. Whenever i feel lonely i go before the Blessed Sacrament. I read books by Bishop Oyedpo and Pastor Adeboyo, because i know the word of God can never be broken. Take it to God in Prayer, i did and i dont have a boo now but i know God Almighty whom i serve alone will bring someone who deserves my love and God's love. please add me up on 7BB6AC19, we can be gist buddies or friends. I will never judge you. I didn't know when 7years flew by. It is well with you.
ReplyDeleteStella please post this, she needs a friend now. i understand what she is going through, most of her friends will ostracize her, her family wont even understand. She will go into a shell because of SHAME or she might think there is something wrong with her or her family. She might be suicidal, i was thrice. She needs to let God avenge her. I told God that my pepper, salt, oil, maggi and everything i did for that family should open a file for me when He God judges, they took my love, my money, energy and resources from His grandparents, His Parents, Himself and even his in-laws. But i don't care about all of that, they are replaceable. But the emotions cant be except God steps in and for that I thank God for His not a man.
Please I need help. Am from nnewi and my bf is from orumba but my mum is from the same village with my bf now he is ready to marry me and we have being together for four years and we have being there for each other. But our parents said NO is not possible to marry him so what if am pregnant will they still allow us to marry coz the guy is willingly to do so.
ReplyDelete