Saturday In House Gists...

Enjoy the gist(s) and have a great day!

GIST ONE

Hello Stella the Stella (I sabi famz), was preparing dinner for my dad and brother and one story just came to my mind 'fiam'. When I was in primary school with my younger sister, then the older ones have entered secondary school. You know as garri be lunch for here na, my mum will instruct me every morning to warm the soup when we get back from school. She always put me and my younger sisters lunch in a smaller pot so I won't go to her main pot of soup and do anyhow, her workplace is not far from home so she always comes back to make eba for us. 

The main gist is that anytime I want to warm the soup, I will carry plenty water pour inside 'kwaaaaa', naim soup go turn into one kain thing. My spoilt younger sister will be crying, and I will be forming better elder brother.  

Till today whenever my aunty sees me she will say Chike ikwanyela mmiri na ofe (Chike have you poured water in the soup). I still do it today, I can turn small pot of soup for 1 into a pot of soup that will serve 3. Still giggling.

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GIST TWO

Una well done my fellow bvns. I say make i knack una this tori wey

happen not long ago. Admission stuff do me strong thing so i say no be

me this people go frustrate. I cannot come and go and kill myself. So

i encouraged myself not to think too much about it and keep all hope

alive. I was bored so my only companion was my phone as my friends

were in school. So when ever i'm through with house chores, na to

carry phone begin browse.

If i complain of head ache, my mum will say why won't you have head

ache when the only thing you do is to press phone.(Honestly, when i

saw this meme in one of the saturday laughs i said shuo, does this

person know my mum?). I always tell her, mum i'm bored and frustrated,

this is the only way i catch my fun.

On this fateful day, she told me she wants to attend a certain crusade

that a friend told her about, and that i should accompany her. I

declined but she persuaded me that we won't stay long. As per mummy's

pet wey i be, i said ok, deal.

Na so i follow her go the crusade. While we were sitted at the crusade

ground, the pastor said God revealed to him that there is a lady

there, who is addicted to mirror. And that she should come out and be

delivered. Everyone start looking at every corner to check if someone

will come out but no one came out.

Then my mum now said, since it seems i'm addicted to my phone, i

should go out and explain to the pastor and be delivered. I said no

way mum, the pastor said mirror and not phone. I don't use mirror that

much. I do my make up at home and that's it. I don't even go out with

powder or lip gloss in my purse, not to talk of make up tools or

mirror. I see it as load.

We began to argue and those sitting close to us started staring at me.

It was her friend that said she should let me be that what the pastor

said is different.

We waited ooo and the pastor began to pressurized the girl to come out

from where ever she was. she finally came out. The pastor touched her

and she began to roll on the floor. The crusade was done infront of a

primary school and it rained the previous day. So the ground was so

wet ehn... 

This girl rolled in the mud to the point that people began

to pity her. No one could hold her cos of the speed at which she was

rolling. Almost half naked sef, so it was after she became still that

her mother went to cover her with wrapper.

Since that day ehn... I no dey ever follow my mother go crusade again.

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GIST THREE

Good day SDKs

Have a short and funny gist.

Apology to the Urhobos. For those of you that are familiar with warri and

its suburbs, you will agree with me that pidgin is predominantly spoken.

Most children can't even speak good English despite the fact they go

to school.

One morning, I called my neighbor's son and asked him if they had

chicken bcos I had crumbs of rice I wanted to dispose. I usually see

this local chicken around them. Wanted to be sure it was theirs.

I asked him thus:

Myself: do you have chicken?

Alex: the boy looked in amazement thinking I meant chicken meat( they

are kind of poor)

Myself: why you dey look me like that?

Alex: na meat you dey ask?

Myself: I laffed and said fowl I remembered thats what I usually hear

them call it.

Alex: yes we have fowl.

I couldn't help but laf. Most times when I speak English to them, they

usually don't comprehend until I speak in pidgin.

Happy weekend peeps!!!