Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm.....





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
RELOCATION FEAR

Hello ma'am,


Firstly, thanks for the privilege to relate with you and other beautiful people on this platform. You all make me smile and forget about the worries.


Please I need your advice as I am about to take a urge decision and I am afraid because I fear it will backfire. My husband works with the government and right now, we are not good financially as his salary of 62k comes every two months. I on the other hand am a banker and I earn twice his salary, which means I have to carter for the family until he is paid.


my issue now is my husband succeeded in convincing his elder sister to sponsor me to USA to study and get a job, meaning I should resign my own job and relocate to USA with two children alone.


 Stella honestly I am scared. My husband wants me to go becos I am the intelligent one and I have a very good result and I have more experience in my field and that the kids deserve a better life. One thing he does not know is that all this news on CNN makes me scared and what about if I don't get a job after two years and I find myself back in naija again????. I feel scared going out there with two babies.


Please bvs I want some encouragement and discouragement.


Thank you. #feelinglost#sad#scared


126 comments:

  1. Why don't he take such decision and more over the land is green everywhere depends on how you make use of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster since your sister-inlaw wants to sponsor your schooling. She should send you to Canada. Your husband will get work permit if you get study permit and your children will have free education if they are up to elementary level.

      Delete
    2. POSTER, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE (SEX, INTIMACY ETC). PRAY ABOUT IT AND SORT IT OUT WITH YOUR HUSBAND. BUT ON THE RELOCATION ISSUE, GO AND STUDY IN CANADA. THERE, YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO LIVE AND WORK THERE AFTER STUDYING. (READ UP ON THIS ONLINE). IM NOT SURE USA HAS THAT OPPORTUNITY AND IF THEY DO, ITS SLIM. CANADA IS A BETTER OPTION AND THE BENEFITS IN CANADA ARE BETTER. YOUR HUSBAND CAN ALSO LEGALLY JOIN YOU WHEN YOU GET YOUR PERMANENT RESIDENT DOCUMENTS.

      WHICH CAREER ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU EARN TWICE 62K. EHEN? HOW MUCH IS THAT? HIGHEST 150K. WHO THAT ONE HEP? WITH THE EVER-INCREASING COST OF LIVING IN THIS COUNTRY, MAYBE LANDLORD WILL SOON EVICT YOU. ABEG, LEAVE THAT JOB AND FACE YOUR FUTURE. TAKE THIS BOLD STEP FOR YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT (EXCEPT YOuR HUSBAND HAS A WANDERING DICK, BUT THATS HIS PROBLEM.)

      SOME PEOPLE WILL SAY SHE SHOULD STAY BECASUE OF HUSBAND. THE TRUTH IS THIS-IF THERE IS NO MONEY, THERE WILL NEVER BE PEACE AND JOY.

      EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT RELOCATING. I GAVE A SIMILAR ADVICE ON IHN TODAY.

      CHEERS O. PLEASE PRAY FIRST ,LET GOD BE THE ULTIMATE DECISION-MAKER

      Delete
    3. See poster let me tell you something . I was in the U.S few months back and people dey suffer sha. The hustle is real o. You will see husband and wife working midnight jobs and at the end of the week after expenses with 3 kids they have just 30 dollars spending money remaining talk less of just you.
      They were even begging me to stay but the way i packed my load, left and jejely applied for master's in Canada ehn, U.S is not for everyone o.
      Why don't she help you to canada? At least there after school you can get work permit then you can apply for PR after 4/5 years.

      Delete
    4. @anon 17.50, once you get study permit, is it sure for your husband to get work permit? Or he has to follow the normal express entry process?

      Delete
    5. My dear go o, bank job that they wake up and sack people is that one job, I am waiting until next year to decide my way forward, aunty please go to Canada or Australia those places are hot cakes now and they are giving people better jobs

      Delete
    6. Exactly what I was going to say. Canada is wayyyy better.
      My husband also wants me to relocate with my toddler, I'm scared too.

      Delete
    7. YES, YES POSTER. ITS ANON 17:59. YOIR HUSBAND WILL HAVE WORK PERMIT IF YOU GET STUDY PERMIT (WHICH YOU WILL IF YOU WANT TO STUDY THERE). THATS TRUE. WHICH MEANS YOU CAN EVEN ALL GO TOGETHER. AND AFTER ABOUT 3 YEARS, YOU ALL CAN APPLY FOR PERMANENT RESIDENCE.

      Delete
  2. Eayah i feel for you. Your husband is a good man. Before you go, do midnight prayer and get God's position on this.

    It is well with you. Anywhere someone is, his or destiny will manifest as far as God has made it so. Goodluck my dear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My darling please go. There's nothing that you can't achieve once you set your mind to it. It's going to be great, just remain positive.
      Although I'm not sure about you taking the children as that can increase your stress and reduce productivity.

      Delete
  3. Grab the opportunity and make haste why the sun shines. Who knows luck might be in your favour and it wouldn't work out nagatively the way you thought

    ReplyDelete
  4. Playing Russian roulette with your career is ill-advised.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why are you calling my name? Be warned! #sideeye

      Delete
    2. Lolll what career? The one that you earn 300 dollars per month and encourages you to sleep with customers, is that one a career.

      Poster, don't lose this opportunity. I listened to ignorant people like Atheist and lost my opportunity.Those who took it know where they are now.
      Please take this opportunity.
      People will advise you based on their own outlook on life. Some people 80k is something they've never dreamed of earning in this lifetime . Don't lose this opportunity. But I would advise you to learn a skill before you leave, ie hairdressing etc. Can never tell where it may come on handy.

      Delete
    3. Take some months out, learn making as in plaiting and fixing and a bit of tailoring then go to U.S.

      Delete
  5. I will read comments on this one. I need to know myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abi o. if u work in a good bank in few years time u would have being promoted

      Delete
  6. Your husband is a very nice man. Poster I will advise u to go with the kids. This advise is coming from someone who has been married for 16 years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice because you saw USA.

      Delete
    2. And a nice man will give up being with his wife and kids for years?
      Supposing he browses another skirt and even scores goals while she is away?

      Delete
    3. All these ppl shouting go don't really know how the system works over there.

      Delete
  7. God will will help you out poster.

    ReplyDelete
  8. USA to study what? Will you be allowed to work while schooling? Schooling abroad is not beans and cost millions. Do after sponsoring you to pay your tuition, how do you cope with two kids alone and what happens if your inlaw decides to back out God forbid. This is why it's best to get education matter out of the way before marriage, I won't tell anyone to leave a job in search of uncertainty. Also, is it right to leave your husband as a married woman? People do it and it works but is it ideal? Remember, your kids would need to go to school too. Who would pay for them? Think about all these before jumping at the opportunity to go abroad. It's best if the whole family can move together and join resources to move the family together. Getting a job offer there isn't as easy as it is here. You may be required to work two jobs or more to make ends meet. Who would look after your kids while you school.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster think hard and think smart. Abroad abroad is not as easy as you think. Read through this comment up there πŸ‘† carefully

      Delete
    2. I pity you this poster! You think abroad is easy! Yes I live in the U.K., I'm talking from experience. How are you gonna cater for your kids while you are schooling? Who will feed you and the kids? Who will take care of the kids? House rent nko? Your sister in law will sponsor your education, is she gonna sponsor all other aspects of your life? Where are you and kids gonna stay?

      Delete
    3. @ Doppleganger,Going to study in America is to get a better job in future.The only problem is the kids cos paying for nanny is expensive,except they are of school age.My friends husband who was a branch manager resigned and went for masters in America,few months later his wife joined him without the kids.She left her kids with her mother.He is doing odd jobs,she works in a salon (she owns a salon in naija) and they are paying their bills and sending money home.Its not easy but it's worth it cos this country is messed up.Going is risky so is staying back cos bank job doesn't have security either.My dear,take the risk if your mother is alive and stays in a city,keep your kids and go and do ur masters,your husband can join you later.Dont listen to all this a bird at hand thrash oh.Nigeria is finished so get out while you can.

      Delete
    4. Poster life over there is tough, don't be fooled

      Delete
  9. Honestly I'm scared as I'm reading this. Your husband is somehow lazy (sorry to say), he wants to transfer his responsibilities to you, you will soon exchange your status. You will be the husband while he will be the wife.

    One instinct is telling me that if you go, you will succeed and I'm afraid if will find another hubby over there




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bitter truth

      Delete
    2. You have a valid point too.

      Delete
    3. Good point! The man earns less, why can't he go first. You all can join him later.

      Delete
    4. World people! If the husband is the one going, you guys will tell her he will abandon her. It is only a good man that will not try to limit his wife ' development nor be afraid to let her fly. Poster, it will be tough, very very tough but with God, you will succeed. Will his sister help you cater for the kids as Pear feeding, etc. Where will you live? With her? Have you gotten your admission yet? I' m asking to make sure you will not be turned into a maid when you get there if there is still no plan on which course you will study, where to live, how to feed etc. I will advise you do nursing or something related to the medical field, chances of getting a job afterwards is very high. Infact, you are sure you will get a job, the question is whether it is where you want. Go with God.

      Delete
    5. Larry thank you!!!!
      Poster why will your husband just dump the whole responsibility on you like that, is it easy to school in a foreign country as a single lady not to talk of one with 2 kids oo. So he just wants to stay here in Nigeria 'flenjoring' with zero worries while you will be sending dollars home abi.. it's a risky affair. If anyone should be living their job, I think it should be the one earning less just in case things don't work out as planned, there will be something to fall back on. If you go there and find out you can't cope nko, what happens to your career? Mind you, should your hubby decide to retain that his govt job, his pay wouldn't increase significantly within the next 4_6 years. Imo your husband is in a better place to travel and find a means, you stay back with the kids for now and see how it turns out. In conclusion, may God grant you the wisdom you need to tackle this issue as that is key!

      Delete
  10. You are a lucky woman o, you have a husband that is not selfish and wants the best for you and the kids. how come you skipped your own salary? anyway i would go if i were you .


    *dat messed up silly girl is back*

    ReplyDelete
  11. He should e the one to gonna hustle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tire for this man o. Why push the wife and kids into a difficult situation. Studying with kids is not easy. You will need to pay for daycare if they are still toddlers. Do you have a family there that can help babysit or care for them so you can do some odd jobs? Is not as easy as people think.

      Delete
    2. For the Canadian location it would make better sense where you and your husband can equally transfer and get jobs that suits your previous career you can also work on this while at the other truth is I don't trust leaving a man alone

      Delete
    3. How does she even think it's possible to work and study with two kids?

      Delete
    4. See people talking, most have husbands that have refused to let them do anything to better themselves yet they see a man surrender an opportunity to further his study and instead elected his more intelligent wife to take the opportunity. Madam what you have is called fear of the unknown. It is normal but you need to buckle up. It wont be easy but if others have gone and succeeded, why not you? Do they have 2 heads? It will not be easy, but your family can have a better life if you all stay for used.

      Delete
    5. Don't mind them. Poster, why not Canada? You have a better chance there and getting a job there is a lot easier than USA n you will also get permanent residence too n can have your husband join u while you're studying. You will earn way better than the 120k u currently earn. Don't be scared. You may not even want to come back to naija after settling in.

      Delete
  12. Seek God's face for divine direction, he alone knows the begining from the end and the end from the begining. Whatever decision you are led to make in the end will leave you at peace...that is how you know it's the right one.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You have to weigh your lost and gain, hope his sister will support you and the kids till you can stand on your own? To resign and move to a strange land without your husband by you, nne, babes are not smiling this days, you will see a babe that is ready to manage life with that your husband collecting 62k, I fear you may not have your man full if you travel. Why can't his sister sponsor the four of you than living your husband behind? I fear for your marriage.

    Pray and ask God for directions.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Poster, go on your knees and pray about this! Ask God to reveal things to you and also ask for a discerning spirit.

    America of today is not the America of 5years ago! Things are different now.
    Your husband is supposed to be the one to take that risk on his family behalf.
    If you are not sure, please don't embark on the journey. Women instinct never lie most time.

    I know you also want the best for your family and there's no harm in trying, but you can still succeed where you are.

    I wish you nothing but the best.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I understand ur fear...

    I think ur husband should go instead since his job doesn't pay much. I mean, ur pay is more than his and u are a pri here.

    Ur husband should go and do d hustling while u stay back to tk care of d kids

    He can latter come back for u wen settled

    ReplyDelete
  16. Madam USA is a land of opportunities please don't miss it. I have a female friend that travelled 2 weeks ago with her 3kids she just told me this morning that she has started work and her children school. Your husband's sister is there so it won't be too difficult for you at least you have a place to stay and start life. Forget about the reports on CNN nothing evil will befall you. Please don't miss this opportunity and you won't regret it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seems you have those types of friends that will soak garri and tell you they just are Chinese. Guy wake up ooo.

      Delete
    2. kids started school you said?
      Sorry, I live in the USA with my family and the kids are to begin school tomorrow.
      Or you are talking about private school?
      And what job is the woman doing; does she have a working visa before going?
      Which job really does one begin less than two weeks of being in the state or was she born here i.e. citizen?
      When did she apply, invited to interview, attend interview and invited to begin?
      Please, coat the lies with concrete not saliva.

      Delete
    3. Haba are so gullible to believe her lies or what,it's even summer holiday and schools are on long vacation till September.so which school your friend's kids start ooo

      Delete
    4. It's possible getting a job within 2weeks and I'm talking from experience,I don't know about
      US though,I live in uk,when i came into this country my boyfriend that brought me got me a job 2days after I came in,then I finished all my job application while on the job.it all depends on who you know and the kind of people you mingle with.i never experienced homelessness or any hardship till I moved on after 6months to rent my own place and live by myself cos my boyfriend cheated on me and I left but we are still good friends though trying to see if we can work it out and come back together again but I don't think I wanna go back to him ,I'm enjoying living alone and being free right now

      Delete
    5. Schools in Atlanta have started na!

      Delete
  17. You better remain where you are please. He should be the one travelling for so many reasons.

    1 - It is his sister sponsoring so it is better she sponsors her own brother.
    2 - He is the head of the family and should hustle himself while you support.
    3 - He is the one with a low paying job.
    4 - Your kids are babies as you said, so are you going to be studying and looking after kids including working while living with sister-in-law, so what will your darling hubby be doing?

    My dear if you are ready to suffer then go to the USA but if you want a peaceful and contempt life please just remain where you are let him go and hustle himself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People will think you are a hater but you are stating some valid points.

      Delete
  18. Poster that's a nice idea.But on the contrary why not use those monies you will use for travel documents, accommodation and regularising your live documents and invest in a profitable business here in Nigeria?You can always visit there for holiday.
    You can still enjoy a comfortable life in Naija if you have your moneyπŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

    ReplyDelete
  19. @ Poster, please go. The US has a lot of opportunities and they could use a hot brain like you.

    My Mum lives in the US, at her age (60) she earns a decent living working in a home, she has even added a few medical certifications to her CV and is still going for more certifications how much more a youngie like you that is brilliant, resilient and hardworking.

    What you are afraid of in the US, we have it @ its peak here in Nigeria so please don't waste this opportunity to explore.

    All the best in whatever decision you make and keep us posted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chikito famzer of the rich. I still like U
      Also poster just go. If it doesn't work out. U can easily come back later on and get a better job with the exposure. U have nothing to lose. U for find another husband Sha thats wre Ur hubby should be worried

      Delete
    2. Pepperoni, 2 fingers in d air.

      Delete
  20. Why don't your husband go and hustle as a man? live intelligence out of this.. He should back up his salary with business no matter the size of business for now, it will grow with time.Two children only u, work and school do you think it will be that easy? I support Atheist and Doppel...on this.Babe think about it seriously, schooling abroad, taking care of kids and working aint easy.. borrow yourself sense.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry they can't leave intelligence out of this. No be naija or backyard school oh. If you no get brain you hang cos competition is tighter. If they are using up their savings the smarter one should please go.

      Delete
    2. The intelligence part is just a lame excuse abeg. The man should go and bustle like a man!

      Delete
    3. Ur husband is great for wanting the best for U and d kids. If grace falls on U guys, he can easily join U. Babe grab the opportunity ok

      Delete
    4. Babe am in the US and it's not as easy as you think. They don't even need ur Naija certificate like that o and you need a work permit to work. Forget all these my brother, my sister, they will fuck you up. Over here you are on your own o. No one cares. Let your husband come and hustle his way out. He is a man and when he has settled send for you and your kids. Be wise.

      Delete
    5. Anon17:39,don't mind bvs,awon two faced.if it was the man that said he was going to the US and will leave the woman with the kids here i naija,they will be against it and start saying trash

      Delete
  21. Your husband is a very great guy, he want to see you grow, not all men can do that or watch their wife doing better. I think you should go, don't be discouraged.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She should go,her husband is a very goodman

      Delete
  22. Your husband is a good man to me, left alone he would have chosen that opportunity to go leaving you and d kids here but he wants you and the kids to have a good life over there, i will choose to go.

    ReplyDelete
  23. BABE, I DEY YANKEE O. AS A BANKER IN NAIJA, YOUR SALARY WILL DEFINITELY KEEP INCREASING. IF YOU DARE GO TO AMERICA, YOUR NAIJA DEGREES WONT BE VALUED THERE. YOU AND YOUR KIDS GO SUFFER BECAUSE TO GET JOB HERE IS HARD. MANY OF THE PEPLE ABROAD SLAYING ARE DOING EYE SERVICE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE KIND OF MENIAL JOBS THEY ARE DOING HERE. MY ADVICE TO ANYBODY WITH A GOOD JOB IN NAIJA, REMAIN THERE AND WORK HARD. yOU CAN COME TO YANKEE FOR HOLIDAY AND NOT TO QUIT YOUR JOB. SEND YOUR HUSBAND A LINK TO THIS POST. NO MATTER HOW CLOSE A FRIEND OR RELATIVE IS WITH YOU, THEY WILKL NOT BE NICE TO YOU FOREVER IF YOU ARE SQUATTING IN THEIR HOUSE. IF YOU SAY YOU WANT A HOUSE OF YOUR OWN, CAN YOU AFFORD, HEATING, RENT, BILLS AND FEEDING WITH 2 KIDS? WHO WILL BE WATCHING OVER THE KIDS WHEN YOU TRY TO HUSTLE. IF YOU MOVE INTO YOUR HUSBAND'S SISTER'S HOUSE, GET READY TO SEE FINISH BECAUSE THE INITIAL NICE CHARCTER IS FOR A WHILE BEFORE YOU TURN TO HOUSEMAID. TAKE MY ADVICE AND REMAIN IN NAIJA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You saved me alot by typing the bitter truth.

      Delete
    2. My Yankee, your story is one sided. There are stories like yours and there are success stories. In the US good RELEVANT education with good grades is the key. If she said U.K. I would have said no but US depends on 3 things

      1. Going to a very good school for Masters that is respected by employers
      2. Getting a good grade and being top of the class
      3. Course of study that is relevant- if business (accounting &Finance) is the area people get jobs, anything else I doubt it, maybe An executive MBA or Management information systems. Engineering & Medical Field are the top recruiting field *poster did not mention her course of study for Masters*

      If those 3 things above checks out there is a good chance she will get a fantastic job that will change her life forever. Of course nothing in life is guaranteed #speakingfromexperience
      Since the poster said she is smart, the only advice I will give her is make sure she goes to a good school/top tier school.

      Leaving your job and making that decision I can't advice! Do what is best for you.

      Delete
    3. Anon 16:19 thanks for that comment. I hate all this black and white talk. People's destinies at different abeg. Your 3 key points are just the ish. The thing is many Nigerians just relocate without doing their findings and get trapped when they get there. With a good degree from a good school its a win-win. She will either come back here and get better offers from her current institution or get an offer from there, with her banking experience. And she will work part time as a student to support oga here in naija with her dollars. She juat has to focus.

      Even in UK sef the same strategy can apply. When I was doing my masters a Nigerian couple left their two kids ( 5 months and 2 years). The wife came to do her masters, the husband followed on tier 2. He wrote some qualification exams and before his wife wrote her dissertation he got a job earning £35k/annum. Mnwh he was earning 150k here in naija and everyone told him not to bother with taking a risk. Before I returned the wife had come back to pick her kids from her in-laws.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous, a very good school in America for her masters is going to be crazily expensive. She's going to be an international student. You are even talking about an executive MBA lol. You think America is heaven. It's not as easy as people make it look. And remember she has 2 kids. They'll definitely need preschool (she said they are babies) and that would cost quite a lot. What if her sister inlaw decides to make her life miserable in the US? Who is she going to go to with her 2 kids? One more thing, she never mentioned the kind of job her inlaw is going to get her either. Then her husband might end up bringing in a girlfriend into the house. That's what most Nigerian men do when they have their families outside the country. They relive their bachelor life. The moment she leaves the shores of Nigeria that would be the end of her marriage. Expect her inlaw makes a way for the man to join his family.

      Delete
    5. My dear stay where you are in Naija. I am into HR in the US and all I will say is it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for an international student to get H1B working visa these days! Don't quit your job. Your inlaw is not being honest with you. America is HARD o! I am even thinking how I will run to Nigeria. All those people flaunting are not necessarily doing menial jobs but there is no lau lau money like you think. People are struggling and bad economy is everywhere. It is an absolute waste of time traveling to any country where there is no permanent residence or citizenship. Waste of money and time that will come to nothing. Trump government has made it very hard for foreigners. You are better off going to Canada on a scholarship if you can find one. Take this from an HR person in America.

      Delete
    6. Poster, one thing I can assure you is that most of the people in the US will tell you not to come unless for vacation, they will tell you how hard it is to get a job, pay bills, bla bla bla yet NONE of them will agree to come back if you ask them to relocate. My sister does same even though being in the medical field, she lives in a house she may never have afforded if she was practising in 9ja nor enjoy the life style she has if she didn't go. It will be tough but if you go into the medical field, with God, you will never regret it. There may be bad days that will make you cry and wish you stayed in 9ja but when everything falls in place, you will be grateful for this opportunity.

      Delete
    7. Anon19:11your head is there.They always say no job,things are very hard blablabla.Come back nah,they won't but will keep discouraging others from going

      Delete
    8. Lolll. Please ask them. All of them abroad shouting it is bad, it is hard, if it's do bad why don't you relocate to Nigeria na? Always looking for ways to discourage others . Ugly muchuches. Mtsheew.

      Delete
    9. Esther thank you... She's it's hard? Why are u still there come back na

      Delete
  24. Its well, a good man thinking of the interest of his family before his. Life is a risk, no one knows what d future holds, we are just trying and having positive thoughts. Divine intervention is what you need. I really don't know what to say but I want your family to be intact, if there is a way all of you can go, much better.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oh God pls bless me with a loving husband. A man that I can gladly show and share my pay packet with. πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anon 15:48 God bless you plenty. See as you end the matter. I have told her to let God decide for her before we hear stories.

    ReplyDelete
  27. ah ah...madam, go no where.
    you earn double of your husband salary...that should be about 124k plus husband 62k..
    you guys should be able to manage shall..i advice you go nowhere,instead use the money to school here in nigeria or set up a good business.i think with husband salary, wife salary and a good side business..you can cope than going abroad and you are not sure of working over there..couple with the stress of taking care of the kids all alone over there.be wise .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How easy can a side business be

      Delete
    2. What if she gets sacked after turning down this offer? Na she get company where she dey work? Will her salary be sufficient by the time the kids start school? Even Omoni Oboli with her successful business as a producer has relocated to Canada and shuffles between there and here. Poster, if you are sure you will not look back and regret losing this opportunity, stay else I advise you sort out what school, course, accomodation etc and go.

      Delete
  28. stay put! Let him go then send for you when he is settled, he is sending you to the slave market, USA is not a bed of roses, with 2 children all on your own, Please don't put yourself through that suffer maintain your Levels and God will elevate you. think of rent, child minder, household bills, hospital bills, clothes transport, single parent with 2 children in racist America, Please Note it is not like Nigeria where you can borrow or Attache/Beg from your Neighbors and friends, A lot of people are hungry and homeless in America, And dem noSend ANYBODY.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hmmm my dear You and hubby should think well before ''American wonder'' go blow for your eyes..Its risky leaving everything for your husband's elder brother to sponsor you with the kids..Madam yes Nigeria get as he be but he better America for now...Look before you leap..Its worst being stranded in a foreign man's land...I pray you dont be a prodigal woman..Please discuss this thing very well with your husband..

    ReplyDelete
  30. My dear If you go, ''Oge eme gi voom na-anya''

    ReplyDelete
  31. Madam let me explain something to you, your sister in law may have the best intentions however think of this, how much will she pay for you? What was the agreement between her and your husband? Going to school with children is not beans. Let me break it down, I am a mother with 2 kids leaving with my husband and going to school, for community college I paid $10k, in grad school My tuition is 28k a year without including food rent etc, daycare is )300 a week cheapest I could find.
    My advice let your husband go first as his income is not steady, you can start taking online classes from Nigeria while he is there so that it will be easier and the kids would have grown up a bit. Ps I am not coping at all!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I pay £900 a month for childcare! I can imagine an international student with 2 kids. Most people abroad sugar coat their success stories to Nigerians at home.

      Delete
  32. Are you phlegmatic? You sound very very phleg.

    I replied you on IHN. And I said the exact same thing you described up there. I smelt fear from your comment even before you said it outrightly. You can't achieve much in life if you live in fear. The difference between successful people and failures is the ability to take the plunge and stick to your faith. If you don't go out of your comfort zone, you will deprive yourself of many opportunities that aren't in your comfort zone. I've told you, get a clear head, weigh your options and strategize. Strategize strategize strategize! That's the only way to turn an idea into reality m. You wanna leave? PLAN. Abroad isn't easy without a plan. As for CNN they have been broadcasting bad news since I was a child until now. Na today? Abeg switch off that channel.
    N180k is very small sha for a family of 4 to live by certain standards in Nigeria, esp with the current dollar rates. I can soooo understand why he is urging you to relocate. It's well oooh.

    ☝🏽Note to nosy nosas: That last comment is strictly my opinion please. Don't come and quote your earnings here cos frankly i can't be bothered what your take home is. Thanks

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  33. You would only travel when you are sure of securing a job if not do not go anywhere.

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  34. Your husband should be the one up there nat u..

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  35. Do medical field or IT. Banking is ok but not much money most times

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  36. The girl is only scared about "job" how about adultery on the part of you both; especially your husband in Nigeria? You can as well "make it' and lose your home.

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    1. Abeg leave that thing if the husband wants to commit adultery, even if she is inside his front pocket. That'why married women look so hagard and worn out. Untop of everything, you will still turn them into bingo chaser. Rubbish. Poster if you don't take this opportunity, trust me you will regret it. Ask any of those abroad to come back and here their response.

      Delete
  37. Poster pls ...there is nothing wrong with studying in Nigeria . If your sister inlaw wants to help she should help you guys set a biz to improve ur finance. Studying abroad and working isnt easy , left alone wt 2 kids. Who will look after dem wen ur in sch or at work? Will u have money to pay for their studies. Mind you. Dont expect ur sis inlaw to pay for everything and still send u pocket money. And what abt ur marriage ?u want to jeopardise your marriage for sch abroad and work ? Have a rethink .stay back in Nigeria and think of a biz to do and grow from dere .wt ur family.than going to a no man's land to get frustrated.if u must go den go wt ur family complete. Dont leave ur husband behind .dont separate ur family its not worth it.

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    1. A thousand likes for this comment. Poster let her give you guys the money to set up a business to boost your finance. You can travel with your family when you are fully established.

      Delete
  38. Most people don't read the narrative and also don't understand a whole lot of things. And then poster you have held back some information. Your husband is a good man and very supportive. You didn't say as a government worker his job is the type that comes with a pension and gratuity so he might probably want to do the years to make him eligible for pension while yours a banking job is not. He has also secure the help of his sister so it's a one time opportunity he is taking so he can join you later rather than be selfish and hold you down. If his sister is willing to help sponsor the 3 of you then she must be a good person and I know she will definitely help you in settling down. Look at it that you all have to make sacrifices.it won't be easy but it will surely get better before you know it. I advice you go. Wish you all the best.

    # come back and thank me later

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    1. is a.very pragmatic point. I am working a FG job, I can understand how the man may want to make up his pensionable years to avoid disruption in gratuity. I am doing same. But the man can apply for 'leave of absence' of 2 years after you've gotten your admission letter so he can come with you, so at least he can help with settling in, taking care of the kids, holding a menial job to support and all..

      I'm sure your SIL can sponsor him. It is a valid means of suspending service. His years will still count for him for pension purposes

      Delete
    2. Great comment @Beth- Poster i advice you take Beths advice. Cos studying with two kids is not easy. You all should arrange and travel together like beth suggested.πŸ‘

      Delete
    3. Am Anon 17:11...Thanks for helping me straighten out that aspect of civil service. Think it's better he takes a leave of absence. I feel most times people sending in their narratives don't point out the key points and this won't help them in getting good advice.

      Delete
  39. If you can take sabbatical leave from work why don't you go try it out? But like everyone is saying finding a job is not easy but you might be lucky. Also bear in mind your in-law might not be so welcoming after a few months... thats just being human. What will be your option then? How long will you be staying with your in-law? Will you have enough to rent your own place? I would say go with an open mind and try it out.. you can always come back home. Am sure your husband means no harm and must have thought it through.. The reality when you first get there is you will miss home so much and want to return back immediately but stick it out.. go back home to Nigeria after a few months and then compare your new life and old life.. then you can make your decision. Good luck

    Pumpkin

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  40. Im just wondering why the sister wont just support the family financially and let them do what they want here, its not easy to combine adult education with 2 kids in Nigeria here sef, talk more of a strange land whr u will have little or no help, travelling out is a very good idea, but i dont think u should be going under such conditions, if your children were grown ups now, it would have been a different thing, anyways my dear its your decision, but my dear leaving a life of regret isnt fun o, so weigh your options very very well, all the best.

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  41. Your husband definitely means well.
    But take this from me. A guy with 3 different degrees all from countries in Europe and Australia.
    Your husband is thinking in a wrong light. These days there are no guaranty for jobs. Not even in the USA or Canada.
    Why don' you guys use same money intended for this educational sojourn to fund a business?

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  42. Destinies are different but leaving your husband to travel abroad with your kids...hmmmm. I don't support. You want to be the one hustling and sending money home while he is in Nigeria living fresher and fresher.

    If you must travel abroad, you either go without the kids or let your husband go.

    Let me be frank with you, it is good to upgrade your studies but except God is with you, you can have all the degrees and still be searching for job in Nigeria.

    Have you ever thought of changing your job? Start applying in some foreign companies. Drivers in the company where I work earn way above 200k a month.


    KING XOXO MYSTERY

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  43. Poster I have come back again..Please pray well..there is a way that seemeth right unto a man but the end of it is destruction..What makes you feel relocating will solve all your life issues..Pray and ask God if you are to leave your land..remember the story Of Abraham And Lot in the bible..Lot did ''oju kokoro'' because the land he took was lush and greenery in his own eyes..Was that same place not SODOM AND GOMORRAH that was destroyed? Madam pray very well I beg you..

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  44. My people say who no go no know. Too much fake lives on social media abroad deceiving people. Some people are even suggesting Canada,hmmm i laugh. My dear na College admission you go get. But with that embassy will only give you a student Visa and ask your hubby and kids to join you later(after one year). Some schools will dictate the number of hours you can work. Daycare in Canada if you kids are less than 4yrs is between 35 to $45 per day depends on the province. My sister do the maths. You can apply for daycare subsidy but it takes about 1year to get approved.
    The beautiful thing about Canada is this after your 2years in college. You will get a job, after one year of work experience you can apply for PR. God willing you will get it, so you see no be beans.
    As per USA i have little or zero info about that country. Goodluck

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  45. Yes o poster your husband and his sister are nice pple but studying abroad with kids is not easy o....think am well well

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  46. This one is major gamble. Methink he should have gone instead while you retain your bank job here. What if the uncle he hopes to sustain your stay with ceases to be (God forbid)?

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  47. Poster, please have emergency money tucked away where no one can find it, tell no one you have it when you get there and be ready to contribute to the bills if you are staying with your sister in law.. CNN is not your problem, your problem will be finance and the survival of the fittest mentality over there. However, you will succeed if you stay focused and determined. When my sis got to yankee, she paid her share of the bill in a relatives house, she was invited and want not expecting that. She was eventually throw out with her kid as the relative's wife said she did not want a kid around. They also advised her not to pursue her dream of continuing the profession she was practising in 9ja and take up teaching but while she took up the teaching job to be able to pay her bills and exams, she persisted and took all her professional exams and today, she is practising her professional course and you cannot compare her with those advising her to settle for less because America is tough. Stay focused

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  48. I have a friend that relocated with the husband n 2kids earlier dis yr to US and dey are doing very well. Just have enuf money for yourself should incase your sis inlaw starts acting up. Take d risk n push,u never can tell wah d future holds for u. Goodluck.

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  49. Wrong move by motherhen Mugabe. Why did she not attck her son(s) instead? Why the young hussler that hussles with her 'looks'?

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  50. the fact that he wants you to go there without him is suspicious. Abroad is hard and moving alone with 2 kids is harder. Expect to struggle for 1 year if you're fortunate to even get a job. stay work. People i know who moved here from naija wish they stayed

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  51. Please, forget going to school. Apply for Express Entry to get Permanent Residence in Canada so that you and your family can go at once. It was what i did earlier this year and i have never regretted it. Even in the US, you can succeed. I realised most of the people giving my fear about leaving my fantastic job in Naija were people with barely any skill and average education. Those ones are doing menial jobs here.

    It's not easy but if you are intelligent, hardworking and diligent, you will make it in Canada. Please Google Express Entry Canada. Let your SIL use that money for your school to show as your proof of funds in the bank. The good thing is that you don't need to spend most of it for the application. You and your husband can come at once.

    Do not be afraid. My husband was a Senior Manager in a bank and i was level before a manager in one of the Big 4 but we still made the switch because we want better options for our kids. When you get here, you can use all their Newcomer welcome packs and fairs to your advantage. Maybe, add a bridging program in a college. I wish i could tell you more but this is an anonymous forum.

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    1. Please can you drop your email so we can talk more.thank you

      Delete
  52. This is an opportunity of a life time. Something I've being looking for this and here it is for someone that doesn't know how to utilise it. Nne, opportunity comes but once. Go to Canada and the sky will be your starting point

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  53. Anonymous 12:32 i could use some of your knowledge pls drop your email address or possibly create a new one for this purpose hence you still have your privacy .

    Please.

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