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Friday, August 25, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

What!!!!






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
UNBELIEVABLE!!!



Hi Stella, Good day.


I am confused and would love to get the advice and suggestions from fellow BVs.

I stay with my uncle and his family. though he is not financially Comfortable.

Earlier this year when they were about to move in to their new apartment, My uncle and his wife said the new house was too small and wont be able to house me. They suggested I get somewhere else to stay. So I told them I would rent a room. After two days, my uncle called me and said I shouldn’t border renting a place. Instead, he asked for the money I was supposed to use in renting the apartment, saying he would use it to arrange somewhere small in his house.

I gave him the money.

When we finally moved out, I was socked to see the new place. There was no window, with holes in the walls and bad roof.

Remember I said he is not so financially comfortable. So he had managed to arrange three rooms on a land he bought many years ago. The rooms for him and his kid are plastered with doors and windows, but the one he gave to my brother and I is nothing to write home about.

I complained and he started shouting, saying because I gave him small money, I feel I have the right to talk to him as i please.

I apologised and let the matter rest. He later came to me saying i shouldnt be angry that he would fix the place as time progresses. its already seven months and he keeps renovating their own rooms but mine.

P.S I have stayed with him for just a year, started staying there after i graduated from uni.

Now, i have been bearing everything they do, from fetching water daily to taking all sort of insults from the wife who always threatens to throw me out.

Sometime i go to my girlfriends place and stay for the weekend, just to distract myself from the situation at home.

Now, my very good friend from school is set to wed this weekend, and i am on her asoebi crew.

Last week i went to my female friends place and spent the week there. Told my uncle and aunt before going. Got back this Tuesday and my aunt started shouting that how will i leave the house for a whole week.

Then she said if i spend another night outside the house, i will come back to meet my property outside the house.

Now i dont know if i should go for the wedding which is in Benin...or forfeit it all because of my aunts threat.

Plus i have paid for my asoebi atire and even sewed it.

Plus she always tries to fraustrate me with her petty chores....she always like: have you fetched water this morning, have you washed plate, have you washed the beans etc. And after all these, i get no food. She will say i am working and should be able to feed my self. Still she will be saying i ought to drop money in the house.

I need advise on what to do please.



*My dear save money and move out of that place with your brother fast...what nonsense!!!..what!!!

what kid of life is that?you must be even hiding where you live from your friends and i can imagine why....please get out of that poisonous environment fast fast fast!!!
As for that wedding please call her bluff but make arrangements for where to stay before you go in case they throw your stuff out before you come back...
 

58 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Just one question: Is tour uncle's wife's name Fan Emmanuel?

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    2. Sorry o, another question: Are you an orphan?

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  2. Replies
    1. U had beta move out of dat shack u call a home!are u a housegirl? Graduate like u,dem still de tell u to wash plates and wash beans? Nabania? My dear u had better flee frm dat house and go get a befitting place u can stay,afterall u working!wats all dis?u made d initial mistake of not checking dat house before u gave ur uncle money to stay!anyway now start looking for a place asap,and as for d weding u had beta attend it cos u mite meet ur suitor der! Let ur aunty do her worst! Don't just fall for her unnecessary tantrums and intimidations,she can't do shit! Go for dat wedding!and once u get bk u move out asap o!

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    2. Pls Is Not Worth It, Just Look For Somewhere Else

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  3. What a life,tell them before going because you never can tell were your suitor will locate you or where help will come from.don't worry thy lord will see you through, she wouldn't throw you out,she needs you more than you need her just for the house chorse.

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    Replies
    1. My dear leave that 'suitor will locate you thing'. She should just go to rejoice with her friend not to look for husband. I know someone who has attended not less than 20 weddings with the hope of meeting a suitor and still single

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  4. OMG you are really suffering ooo. Since they threatened you, my dear dont go to the wedding. Let your friend know what is going on with you in your uncle's house. Try and start gathering money to look for a place for your peace of mind.

    Your uncle did not tell his wife that you gave him money that is why she feels you are supposed to work hard for staying there by fetching water etc.

    I thank God that when i was young, going on holidays to stay with aunts, i never did any housework. I lazy for that matter and God bore me witness that even if i visit you, i wont do any dime at all. That is how God has been helping me until i became what I am today. It is well with you. Please text your friend and tell her whats up

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    Replies
    1. Make she go the party..
      Nothing will happen...

      If she throws your things out when your back, beat the hell outta her..

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  5. You trusted your uncle too much by giving him your money. His wife is obviously pushing him to do the things he is doing else a good woman wouldn't turn you into a maid at your age and there's nothing wrong with helping out around the house but it shouldn't be by barking at you.
    What you should, go and meet your uncle and tell him once again about your friends wedding and why you have to be there. Don't stop living because of a threat yeah I know you don't have another place for now reason you are scared of going against her orders but talk to your uncle in a polite manner.
    Don't make the same mistake again please, once you have enough money get a place and move out with your brother. Sadly you have a brother that looks up to you and it would be difficult getting someone to squat you both. Sorry for all you are going through.

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  6. Poster please, start saving money as Stella said, you need to leave that toxic environment!

    Go to your friends marriage ceremony, don't allow your brother's wife bully you.
    Imagine threatening you and even making you to do all the house chores; she is wicked, but your brother is not helping matter either.

    Please, find somewhere to rent a room and make sure you get something doing.
    Gosh, you are a graduate and not a teenager that they will turned to their maid.
    Some people are wicked indeed.

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  7. Poster, handle with wisdom..... This is a one sided story so I don't know what to say. Why will you leave the house for a whole week? This isn't right, While I was staying with my parents, I can never sleep out, they won't allow me. Just gather money and rent your own apartment but don't leave with a fight.

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    Replies
    1. Please...what and what is wrong in sleeping out??is that a new criteria for irresponsibility or indiscipline??have you ever lived in a place,you have no peace??you'll want to stay out for months...don't add to the girl's headache abegg

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    2. Someone that can afford to contribute to them moving to their yeye uncompleted building can do wateva the hell she wants. She's an adult biko. At least she told them. The wife was just angry that she didn't see omo odo for one week. Yeye dey smell.

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    3. What I wrong with her sleeping out for a week??? If you happen to be in her shoes I bet you will sleep out for a month. Keep your RESPONSIBLE talk to yourself.

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  8. Wetin u still dey do there? The money u invested paying for ashoebi and probably money u will use for transportation to Benin,to n fro,...u ought to be planning to leave that toxic environment now....haba!

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  9. This is the point I wish I have made my money. Kai!!! See insults and maltreatment cause if money. Nne ehh... i wont say I understand your predicament but I know it's heart breaking to go through this with your brother. if you're still paying to stay there, dont pay next time and get a nice place and private place for yourself. If your friends are understanding, let them in on what's happening to you. Beg them to allow you stay for a little while, while you run around for new rent alright?. God is still on his throne, right now you need to run to him and unburden yourself to him. I know he will move hills mighty hands for you.

    Jesus fix this please

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  10. What nonsense. I think you should move out like yesterday sef. Look for someone to stay with till you are able save up money for another apartment and talk to your uncle about his wife.can you imagine "have you washed the beans" a full grown ass working man?

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  11. You shouldn't have told your uncle you have money to rent a place.
    Kindly look for a place to stay and move out even before getting money to rent a place.
    In this time and age, a graduate being treated like a maid.
    God I thank you for my own situation.

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  12. Na wa a clear case of "agba ego nkiti o na ezuzu".

    If you had money now guess you won't be seeing all this rubbish.Reason I can never stay with relatives.I remember my first job ever was in Warri & I had no choice than to stay with a relative.

    The work stress and home stress was out of this world.I quit the job jare and by the time I came back to Warri for another job I never went to the relatives place.

    From my observation you are not close to your uncles wife hence she can't see through you or she's just troublesome.If the first is the case,and you intend staying there then you might have to play the fool and slide into her goods books.If the second is the case then still play the fool and avoid anything that will bring confrontation.

    When you stay with people and you are contributing it reduces insult.Even if you don't give them cash and you buy beverages or noodles or bread or detergents etc she can't tell you not to use them or eat from them.

    In my case my relative stopped me from buying things after the first two months cos she felt my salary wasn't much.

    My dear it's not easy staying with people so just device means of being happy in that house for the sake of your sanity.Most importantly may God provide for you so that you leave your uncles house.

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  13. I understand how you feels...forget about the wedding

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  14. Save up and leave the house
    You are an adult, dnt let anyone turn you to a graduate house help.


    LEP😛

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  15. You work, pay for food without eating? What is wrong with you. I know its hard but you and your brother need to leave ASAP. Just try n save well please. God will help you. So your sis in-laws mouth is sharp now abi,I'm sure she was dumb when you were giving her husband money. U sef,money u wud have used to rent a small place n manage in peace,you gave those thieves. Mschewwww so pissed reading this

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  16. Poster rent another apartment because they no longer want you.

    As for the Benin wedding, if you know you don't have a place to stay if they throw you out, don't go.

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  17. Remind yr uncle and aunt about the wedding, tell them it important you go and then go for it.also, try save up and get the hell out of that house, I can't stand monitoring spirits who try making life miserable for others....let wisdom guide you.

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  18. How some of you take rubbish from people baffles me.
    I'm a house you paid for, you are busy doing chores that isn't meant for you? Taking insult day by day?? Allowing someone monitor and control your movement in a house you paid for? And you are yet to set her straight???

    My God, such tolerance 😲😲

    I'm not saying go and insult her, but call herb Dr to order please. Make her understand you paid for the place you are staying. Make her know that you help her out of your goodwill not because you have to seeing that you don't stay for free. Tell her that if she's not comfortable with your going in and out she would refund your money so you can rent somewhere else. Also let her know that you have paid for the aseobi, sewed it and it's your best friend so you have to be at that wedding. If she knows that you will come back to meet your stuffs outside, let her kindly come up with the balance of your money so you just rent.

    There is a way to talk to people. I hope you know that. There is a way to say everything you want to say to someone without seeming insultive or ungrateful but yet your words will pierce thru their hearts leaving them with plenty thoughts.

    Don't be a pushover please.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chronicle poster, you have no self esteem rara. So you could raise money to buy aso-ebi and to even travel to & fro Benin. You don't have money to get a room self container or a room in a little decent face me and face you house. Something dey worry you!

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    2. Na u something dey worry. Didn't u see where she said she gave the uncle money she wanted to use to rent a house? Because her useless uncle told her to move in with them.

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  19. Friends should have each others back. Does ur friend know of ur situation back home? if yes, call her and apologize telling her reasons u can't make it to the wedding, she should understand. Cos I think if u go as ur aunt has said u might return home to find ur stuffs thrown out. Unless u have some money saved up for rent. Just endure save and move out that those ur relations are not good people at all.

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  20. Poster your mistake was releasing money for his place you were yet to see. You should have done your due deligengence of visiting first.

    Also get your prirorities right.
    That asoebi money plus sewing cost and transport to Benin could have been used to get your own place no matter how small so that you and your brother can have peace. Imagine what your brother is going through. I know you need to socialise so as to meet a good suitor but first things must come first.

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  21. Good advice stella. Can we ever get over dis mentality. it is high time pple placed themselves or children in d shoes of their victims to know d extent of damage they cause to them. it is even more disheartening to knw dat our system have little or no support to us

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  22. Poster, leave that house asap and go and sqart with your friends for now till your able to raise cash for your self to rent a house of your own.
    Wishing you luck!

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  23. Poster as long as you remain in that house your uncle and his wife will never respect you at all, save up something no matter how little it is and move out of that house, do your uncle and his wife think without them you and your brother will not survive?

    As for the wedding talk to your uncle and his wife about it first, if they refuse just ask your friend to talk to them, I don't want you to waste your asobi money, us too painful if you don't attend that wedding.

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  24. try n get sum money to rent an apartment for ursef to save ursef this stress

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  25. Please move out fast before things get out of hand. Your peace of mind is important.

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  26. My Dear You have to go about this with wisdom..I wont blame you for giving him money cause that was the best decision you had to make. I wont judge you at all..

    Please I believe so much in savings, save very well and please this is the time to inconvenience yourself..Reduce the aso-ebi and travelling cost and all unnecessary expenditure. Try and give your aunt monthly stipends for feeding like at least 5k or as your pocket reach, just make attempts to leave them behind without further friction amongst you, your Uncle and Aunty..Help them with house chores no matter how little before you go to work..Dont see it as suffering, see it as ''training'' to make yourself a better person.

    Make sure you notify your Uncle and Aunty that you want to travel and you have to go..If they throw away your things fine, or try and get someone your uncle respects to come intervene...

    In conclusion, Make sure you dont leave with bitterness and bad blood, no matter how they have treated you, they are still your family and u cant change that.. Show them love in all and in the future, you will better understand how to treat people with similar situation..All the best...IT WILL END IN PRAISE

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  27. My dear tell ur frd u can't make it to her wedding reasons best known to u start saving money and move as fast as possible don't disclose your plans to ur uncle cos nobody knows where ur problem might be coming from since he don't want ur progress. Most uncles are devils incarnate. The Lord is ur strength and don't forget to always look after ur brother ooooo

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  28. Some family members sef!! Ahh ahn. My dear, there's nothing I hate more than squatting with anyone. Only few people will give you freedom in their house. I wish you didnt give him that money. How can you a graduate be doing chores for someone who is your mum or dad? Even parents sef won't send you on some chores at a certain age.

    If the time to save cash is too long please talk to your friend to let you stay with her for a while. Trust me some friends are better than 'family' If there's a spare room/bq in the house of anyone you know, you can negotiate and pay rents installmentally until you complete payment. Don't worry. Take it as part of your success story. One day you will look back at it and laugh. And this woman would even like you more when you move out you might become better friends.

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  29. I also think you should take more responsibility for yourself. Dont make her feel she can threaten you. Don't even look forward to eating the food. The day you can't do chores, you can't simple. If you can get a loan to rent a place, please do and then pay the creditor monthly. Because to me oh, its not time to talk its time to act. Why won't you go for wedding because of one yeye argument? I hate anything that inconveniences, honestly. Let your friend also follow you to talk to her that you presence is needed at the wedding and apologize on your behalf. My dear, you have to go and slay so that one better bros will see you and maybe marry you out of this accommodation situation. 😂 please you're a single girl its not a time to miss out on wedding.

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  30. This is really bad...I know how it feels staying with people

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  31. Please go and rent a place. Even if it is face me i face you apartment.
    Give yourself peace.
    There are better days ahead.

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  32. Two of a kind, like husband like wife. I would beg you not to go for that wedding because it's obvious they are ready for full blown trouble with you and the outcome won't favour you, except you have a plan B ready. That said, please find a way to move out.

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  33. Na wa o,after paying her aunty and uncle for the room,doing house chores.... The lady should also buy food and give the Aunty Stipends too!!!!

    @ Poster,Please save up and get your own place no matter how small,the peace you will have is out of this world. Please until you can save up,cut out on weddings,asobi"s and others. Getting your place is very key.It is very difficult to live with people..

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  34. My dear go and rent an apartment even if it is a room for rest of mind ooo

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  35. Speaking from experience, my dear, the best thing you can do for both your and their peace of mind is to move. In my case, i lived with my brother who had a wife(3yrs older than i am) and 3 kids. The complaints varied from me 'talking to the kids anyhow' to me being 'too quiet' to reducing food portions​ and so on.i stopped eating 2 months after i got there. A friend gave me keys to his apartment which was empty, still is but i felt it would be disrespectful to leave my bro's house​and just​ move to somewhere which was in same estate although i do my cooking there and relax there sometimes​. The woman kept complaining to my bro about the most insignificant things and one night, she got confrontational and attacked me saying that i was disrespectful to her(note that by this time, i had started leaving the office at about 8pm, would get home by past 9 just to avoid this woman and most weekends were the same) the confrontation led to an arguement and she attacked me (by attacked, i mean, she physically lunged at me as i tried to walk away from a pointless arguement about nothing but her ego). To my utter shock, my bro joined her and started beating me.this was around 11.30 pm. By 12am, my things were outside the gate, packed by my bro. I had to physically carry all my bags to my friend's house which was about 300meters away. The next day, i saw the rest of my bags etc close to their bin. She already asked the help to clean out the room where i had stayed. I laughed at her insecurity and carefully packed my stuff and tossed their key at my bro.
    My advice, if the woman is insecure and you can play the fool, buy the kids gifts, buy food etc, gist with her often etc, it might buy you some time in the house and if you can't, you just have to leave. There's nothing you can do to please her. If they're not too financially okay, if she sees you looking good everyday, she'll probably start getting jealous(if insecure). In my case, this woman's friends kept firing her up, telling her they can't allow a grown relative stay with them bla bla. I was really disappointed in myself cos i gave myself a short time to be at theirs but u know how money issues get and i got completely broke while there. Life gets like that sometimes. I regret that i didn't move immediately my friend gave me his keys and allowed the matter to deteriorate to what it got to. That relationship is broken for life.

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    Replies
    1. Joke of a brother! Biko keep him very far. There are really friends that stick closer than brothers. *hiss*

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    2. I'm very sorry for what you went through

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    3. Some wives just come to destroy relationship of siblings.

      Poster, pls move out of that environment asap for ur own peace of mind.

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  36. I feel bad reading this your story now. I don't even know how to advice you. God will guide your path.

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  37. Plead with them to attend ghetto wedding and plan to move asap. Even if it's a cubicle you are moving to.
    But please don't leave on a bad note. I am telling you this from experience. If not the victim will become the accused ooo.

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  38. Dear poster,I can relate the best thing is for you to move out ASAP!

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  39. That's how I was staying with one uncle like that and just only once he told me to move out the next day I came with a taxi and packed everything. He was so shocked,pride no gree am beg me to stay . Within a year of moving out I bought a land for five Mila. If you misbehave I will call your bluff and damn you to hell . I have a God bigger than humans . My ex too tried it with me .walahi I packed like mad and made a better life for myself rubbish. Poster how much is a room self contain I want you to go to that Benin come back and rent a place and move out quietly thanking them for their help you'll see how God will lift you.

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  40. All of you advising move out, do you know if she has a job,abi you ll give her money for rent &feeding for her and her bro. Families are different! Poster I suspect your uncle did not tell his wife you paid.find a way to let her know your rent hasn't expired and you are fe + if you &your brother are eating free food,its expected for you to do chores esp as they are struggling. Just start saving for your own place so you all disrespect will stop. If you don't anywhere to go, explain the situation to your friend,if she cares she'll understand. Good luck

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  41. Madam DONOT miss your friends wedding cos you will later feel bad about it.the aunty was bluffing cos I know you add 1/2things to the house as u dey there so,pls save money and leave ASAP!!

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