Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists -...That Peculiar Friend..

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Saturday, August 05, 2017

Saturday In House Gists -...That Peculiar Friend..

This Topic is for everyone....




Being married and having a close friend of the opposite sex is a long standing topic of debate among married couples and singles alike. 


While some see no big deal in this, others think it is wrong on all levels ....

If you are married,how do you feel about being friends with your single friends?

What about the Singles being Friends with Married People?How do you feel about this?

64 comments:

  1. Excellent. Being single and being friends with a friend that is married it's an excellent feeling because have got a pure heart.it's just like being friend with a normal single pal so far you know ur boundaries

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    Replies
    1. Simple!!! So long as everyone respects their boundaries, we good.

      95% of my friends are married, in that 95%, 80% are men.

      Delete
    2. Am married and have lots of single friends, baby mamas and married friends. You even find out over time that the single friend for your back more. I no send oh can't discriminate. Infact going for my singles friend child's biΕ™hday with my kids. My hubby said am surrounded by colourful friends. The good the bad the ugly i got all.

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    3. I had a very good bestie during my uni days. We literally did everything together.my bf den thought we were dating. N also our housemates. We sleep in each other room. Ppl were jealous of our friendship. Then he left d country n we lost contact. I miss his friendship so much. I searched everywhere for him online o... He was no longer active on facebook. Then I heard in 2014(wen I was surfing d net) dat he was involved in identity fraud n he was jailed I cried my eyes out... Don't really know much about him now though. But *BASKY* I miss you so much

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    4. Many of my close Friends got married then stopped being close to me. I'm a very responsible lady. Have never dated a married man. Are they thinking I will snatch their husbands? It's very annoying. But on my birthday, they will stupidly wish me happy birthday on Facebook. Idiots

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    5. DaSuspiciousJoe5 August 2017 at 19:54

      Hahahahahaha.... Now, Dats really funny and I don't know why the last line cracked me up... But well, such is life ma dear.. People have their choices and most of them you would be surprised were told by their husbands to disengage from any single friend or they may as you stated decide to give the space to avoid stories that touch...

      Delete
    6. At 17;58 I laugh fall off d seat ooo.

      Delete
  2. I have just one married friend that I'm close to and he's a guy.

    I know my boundary and don't even dare advise him on marriage issue.

    I put my mouth where it's supposed to be or ignore. Can't be held for breaking another man's marriage.

    When I'm married, my husband will be my best friend hopefully and then my mother.

    I don't even want my husband having a guy as a best fried biko. These days, u don't worry about girls coming at your husband but guys.

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  3. Do to others as you will like them do to you; that's the rule of law.
    For a married woman to have a male friend, think if your husband has a female friend and confidante, how you are going to feel. And you man that have a female friend, how will you feel if your wife has a male friend and confidant?

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    Replies
    1. There are some people that don't keep opposite sex as friends but do the weirdest things ever with the people they share the same gender with.

      All in all you can keep opposite sex as close friends without having a nodge and you can as well stick to keeping same sex friends but do the dandiest things ever.

      Delete
    2. @16:07 You didn't seem to answer the questions asked.

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  4. My problem with married pple keeping friends of oppsite sex is, one person will start catching mumu feelings. Nobody should deceive you with 'we are just friends' that rubbish...ask oga ponyor...it's just a matter of time, somebody will finger someone.

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    Replies
    1. True that! Thats why I used the word it dosent exist instead of rare.

      Delete
    2. True, opposite always attract.😁

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    3. Likewise me, I don't that we are just friends bullshit. Someday, you will definitely fall into temptation with your pretentious mumu love.

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  5. It depends on individual, being friends wit single or married doesn't change anything. ....just that some single one's ends up breaking d home of d married ones if u are keeping d wrong friends

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  6. Tafia mama, I want to read about you and youe besto. I love una friendship

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  7. No biggie but there has to boundaries

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  8. Stella some people will take this topic south! To be very frank I don't see anything wrong in still having your single male and female friends close after one has Goren married.

    Most of my friends are not married yet as i got married in my late twenties and im still a young man.If you see me you will not believ im married!So there is no big deal in having single people as friends!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We have seen you na . Which one is of you see me . It's rare for a guy to get married in his twenties o. My hubby will be 28 this August

      Delete
    2. lmaoπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ blunt

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  9. One naughty lady who was a our neighbor had such an arrangement. Her male friend whom she trusted so much grew jealous and set her up with compromising pictures and made sure the husband received them. a marriage that was barely two years old was over in a matter of 48 hours.

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  10. Hian!.,
    So because I'm married,I can't keep single friends again?..
    I have tons of them both girls and guys!..
    Someone advised me to stop allowing the girls to come over to the house because they might snatch my man!...
    I just dey laugh the person...
    No woman born of a woman can take my man...
    Is it even possible?...
    The person should try nah...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those who tried in the past you made them mad like you wrote about. One day, your cup go full. You think say you be god?

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    2. Lol...if dem try am na only one pigeon e go cost u. We know ur way

      Delete
  11. Just think about a married man snapped naked and the picture "everywhere" and that of a married woman snapped naked and the picture everywhere, whose marriage will suffer more?
    Who is going to be called a prostitute, internet whore?
    Who is going to cry and be depressed?

    Well, I ask these questions because of spouses that keep opposite gender as "friends and confidants".

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  12. married men advise their wives to refrain being friends to single girls because the single girl will influence their wives negatively and it will have an effect on their home while these men go about trying to hold conversation with single girls and will do everything to become their friends...women have fish brain

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  13. I'm still friends with my married friends. Our friendship has no business with their marriages. We have our boundaries.

    My closest friend is a guy and our friendship is still and will be intact even after marriage.

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  14. I'll be my husband's best friend, game pad, sister, mother... Haha

    On a serious note, I'm the jealous type and can't have my husband having a single lady as his best friend. This topic was my problem in my first relationship and I don't want to go through that again

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    Replies
    1. I pray you find one and he doesn't feel choked after a while

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  15. Boundaries... I don't interfere or Chuck mouth in their marital issues.

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  16. This is dicey cos I dont think such exists without nothing attached both ways.

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  17. For me, I usually develop cold feet once I hear 'I'm married' from both the male or female folks and then I start keeping my distance. For me to be friends with a married person, it means there is always business to talk about and I feel that the person is smart up there but once the gist begins to get personal, I just excuse myself or change topic to yet another business proposal/expansion talk. Then for the females,I only ask about husband's wellbeing and don't stress that part further after I hear the 'he is fine'.

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  18. I end every bond with my married friends both male n female.

    Although I check up on them once or twice a month.

    I'm too sexy and don't want another person's husband attracted to me

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  19. I have both single and married friends. But, since I got married my friendship with my male friends has really changed, we just drifted apart.

    I don't see anything wrong with married people having single friends but, I do have a problem with a married woman/man having a best friend of the other sex.
    You can't claimed to be married and still rely on friends of the opposite sex; you are to rely on your partner and create boundaries especially with friends of the opposite sex.

    It's very easy to say that it doesn't matter to have friends of the opposite sex as bff, when you're married, you begin to understand how bad it is that your partner will sit at the other end of the couch gisting and laughing for hours with the so called bff (who is opposite sex) while you sit there staring at him or her. It hurts.

    I only lost one of my single friend who just didn't show any interest anymore in our friendship. I tried to keep up but, she was just so on another path, so I had to let her be. I miss her though cos, we were very closed back then.

    I will try and reach out to her tomorrow and see how things will go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mrs R, that ur friend could be me...maybe because of how it is in this part of our world,there is this funny feeling I develop once my friends get married. I hate drama and side talks and I try to avoid stories that touches... So, in order to avoid such, I just stay on my lane but if the person reaches out,I'm always in for a hangout. Itz so bad that even my sisters and cousins are not left out. I can't shout abeg.

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    2. I do understand the insecurity from both sides but, a true friendship should not be defined by marriage.

      I'm talking about someone that we did a lot of things together, though she was older andmore educated than me but wisdom drew us closed to each other.
      We loved ourselves like that, we ate from the same plate, slept on the same bed. We were like five and six.

      Even after I left Nigeria, we still kept contacts, we always talked about everything you know, that trust was there. I really don't know what happened to her that she just decided to hold back.

      Nothing has changed my love for her.

      Delete
  20. my bestie a married man. we have not gbensh































    yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda Eze only evil turns you on. You surely get off on evil. Yet you will not want anybody to "gbensh" your husband. but when others' are being seduced, you are happy.

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    2. Lol, you don dey kolo abi.

      Delete
  21. i dont really have much female "friends" like that i only have about two good friends. one is my former colleague/friend. a very good and humble friend i consider a sister and the other is a friend from way back in primary school.
    but i have a couple of abokanen shinmushi hahahahahahah only my aboki peeps will understand what that means.








    truth is if them marry, i have no choice than to create boundaries.

    ReplyDelete
  22. well for me, yes am married, but i still have both single and married friends of both sex, the thing is that i don't discuss my marriage or my partner , living out of Nigeria made it even easier, no body is coming to visit or i going to visit anybody, i just call on Whatsapp and we catch up on things once in a while, off course hubby don't have problem with that he does same with his friends male or female he usually leaves it on loud speaker and they will be shouting like people that are lost in an island.

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  23. MonkeyNoFineTheTafiaMama5 August 2017 at 15:13

    I am married and my beautiful youthful friend is still single in her early 40s but our friendship is still very much intact!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What about your male bestie? Or no be you get male bestie?

      Delete
  24. Me that almost all my friends are married. They will even be bugging my phone with advice on how to handle issues. I go come dey laugh say them go pay oh. Once they just call me by 6am I know say e don hot for house. So we don't have issues. We even hang out and party sef. And what I like is that my friends husbands believe me die! We don't talk beyond 'hi, hello, etc' but three of them confessed that Once they just say 'I'm hanging out with chikito or it's chikito that told me to do this and that', their husbands will just calm down. I've begged them to not use me and lie cos truly na only God know the ones wey I no know πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    For the guys, if your wife doesn't like me being your friend that's the end. Infact if your wife isn't in on the whole friendship thingy then kuku marry her in peace. Don't come and make someone fire prayer on my small head. As I yellow small, some wives dey give side eye and me I like my peace.

    It takes a lot of maturity sha. Cos really there are issues that don't concern you and there should be respect for the spouse. Don't be calling your friend to party on Friday when you know she has a husband. Let her be the one to tell you she's free oooh this weekend. If you're free, fine and if you're not fine. And don't be carrying them to hang out with other guys. If you must hang with your married friends, let it be strictly girls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahahahahaha...
      Lmao at firing prayer on your small head...
      Lwkmd

      Delete
  25. Immediately you say your married I bring out my married friends constitution

    * No talking about your spouse,I dnt want to know about ur life with him/her

    * No even calls even if it's for work

    * Relationship talks are limited and talks about my sex life is not allowed.

    * As ur single friend i just understand the fact that you are married to someone hence my friendship with you must be known to your partner if not we can't be friends.

    With that in mind I dnt have a problem with been friends with married folks it vice versa.



    LEPπŸ˜›

    ReplyDelete
  26. It is not right for a married person to be close friend of a single person that is opposite sex. If they try am maka Chi ILA OTU must happen. Eji Igbo agwa ya onye ocha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugogbe Chikito,ire re re!!!...
      Hahahahahaha...
      Biko ala gbu kwa na Chikito..
      Imebigo final!!...

      Delete
  27. I am married and have single girl friends. They visit, we hangout and I can't wait for them to get married sef.

    Male friends, NO. I don't like to play with fire. None at all. The most I do is hi or hello.

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  28. #Good things are coming down the road. Just don't stop walking*

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  29. My bestie(male) of about 16 years got married last year and the friendship has died. I don't mind that much although there are some gists that make me miss him. Recently, we were at the same function and I was about to walk past like I dunno him. He pulled me back and gave me a hug. His wife just started laughing and told us we were both silly. Said she didn't mind us remaining friends but I told her I can't continue the friendship as she's to be his best friend now. Walked away and he kept trying to chat and stuff later but omo, I know how I'll feel if my husband has a lady as a bestie so can't deal mbok. Sent him a message that when I'm married, we can start afresh and his wife called to invite me over. I told her it can't work cos I won't be comfortable. Uncle just shouted in the background, I'm waiting for you to marry. Hurry up mbok.
    I have many married women as friends cos I learn from them and their experiences. Like someone said above, I know my boundaries and never cross them.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I think it depends on individuals.

    I am a female. I had an unmarried cunning female friend. She would give me advice that could destroy my home. I thank God for the gift of wisdom, I never took her advice.

    One day, as a Christian, I told her that when God blesses her with a husband, that she should not do those things she asked me to do. To my amazement, she said she knew those things she asked me to do were wrong and would not implement them in her marriage. That she was just saying them. It was then I knew I had a demon as a friend. I have stopped communicating with her. I no sabi pretend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ™„ can you see? When I get married i will NEVER seek advice from anyone. Thank God say my mama born me well and i get sense. The day wey i no fit i carry bag commot. Cos if you didnt have sense now thats how you would have lost πŸ™†

      Delete
  31. I have given up on friendship. Every body on your own. I hate disturbance.
    The only thing friends do for me is borrowing money from me. I am not doing again.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Most of my friends are married and I feel like our friendship changed the moment they got married except for my ......... I was her chief bridesmaid. I don't think there's anything that can change our friendship. Her husband respects me too. There's also one that I tried to keep at arms length because of my experience with the others but she keeps staying in touch. She needs and respects my opinion on everything so I have no choice she hasn't wronged me. I have male friends and there's one I feel like I will be friends with even after I marry. He is loyal to a fault. My best cousin kept her distance after marriage but when life taught her one or two lessons, she humble.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Well I noticed the communication reduced with most of my girl friends but it's understandable as we all have homes to cater for plus work pressure. We try to keep in touch as much as we can and always share important news. At work my besties are both sex and I see no big deal. We're all married people and there are boundaries.

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  34. This comment has been removed by the author.

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