Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Sunday, September 24, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...




Dear Stella,

I am not trying to kiss your ass, but you are the best! My hubby and I are ardent readers and I comment sometimes, which is why I would need you to hide my ID on this one, as I am sure he would definitely read it. I dont know where this would fit in, but please help me post it, as i need genuine advice on how to handle my konji. 

Stells I am a happily married woman with the best hubby there is. Although he is not perfect and we have our normal issues, which includes him being very introverted, he does not like going out or trying new things, I wouldn't trade him for anyone else in this world, no matter the circumstance. My issue however is that lately i have found myself drifting off to be with this other guy im my head, where we do romantic stuff like make love and blah... Blah...this guy who has been the object of my fantasies is a friend whom I had a huge crush on back in the days, but we never gave it a go. 

Now i find myself thinking about this guy and getting wet! The crazy thing is that i haven't even seen this person in over five years o! Stella see me.
With my hubby, now its more like best friends living together. Seems to me like our fire has burned out. I don't feel that spark when we touch anymore, we have an OK sex life, but lubricants are involved. 

I know sex is not food and I don't masturbate, but the guilt of having this whirlwind romance in my head with this other guy is killing me. I have never cheated on my husband, but I read somewhere that the thought of being with another guy is as good as cheating. Married women in the house please advise/counsel me. Is this a normal occurrence? 

We have been together for 5 years and have been married for 3 years and we have a child. has this ever happened to anyone? How did you handle it?
Thank you for your honest responses.




Good day Stella ,
Please, I need advise on how to cut my brother’s side chick off.
My brother is cheating on his wife, but she doesn’t know.He recently when to Nigeria to visit and awon “slay queens” have taken him away.if I don’t intervene his wife would probably never find out. Since he met his side chick, he has visited 9ja 5times this year.

His wife is French. She’s very nice, and doesn’t have no wahala.
That’s why i don’t understand why my brother would choose to cheat on her.
I feel like I am betraying her.. I have asked him to stop and he won’t listen. I don’t know if it is my place to call the side chick.
I need advise on how to go about this


  1. Replies
    1. Poster 1- I think it is normal to have fantasies or even develop some sort of affection for a close friend- but really it is not worth it. It doesn't birth anything good. Unwanted pregnancy, STD, guilt and so on are the most common reward ( that is if you are even lucky to have the few I mentioned above) You have a good man, Please do not break him. Your child is another reason-Would you want him/her to know? I hope you know that this your friend is only interested in the sex. He adds you to his Fuck- C.V and brags about how good married women are...Jeez, do you even want this?...I could go on and on.
      The irony of this I am a married woman with a useless man who deserves to be cheated on-all day, all year but God, my kids and my pride are more than enough reasons to not go down that road.
      I wish you well and i also pray that my marriage gets healing

    2. Please Stella can you do a post on how couples can maintain 'sexual excitement' and fire in marriage to avoid things like what this poster is experiencing. Please

  2. P1, God will fix it for you, P2, talk to you brother yourself

    1. So everything I took out my time to type wiped off.
      I don't think I have strength mbok.

    2. P2, I think your brother is about to wife a 9ja babe. He's being in 9ja five times within a year you should be happy nau cos that specks volume, he is looking for a wife so allow him be and chillax..

      Your job here is to protect him from gold diggers.

      P1, your matter no be here ooo
      Your husband is a good man an introvert and you can't trade him for anything no matter the circumstance so what's your problem?? cos he is an introvert? Didn't you guys court? You wanna start playing silly games outside, something that can be worked on as a wife, you carry come here dey ask us questions.

      You want me to teach you how to light up the romance in your home?
      Make we begin teach you that one again?
      *raises eyebrow*

      I be Aks babe if you want my counsel, you go pay its not free.
      *side eye*

      You should intimate romance in your home and stop fantasizing on that side boo that doesn't exist.

      OK so on a neutral ground, it is your duty as a wife to ignite romance in your home since your husband is an introvert.

      Watch movies together at home *put your head on his lap whilst at it*, have dinner together depending on how your home is structured, go jogging toghter at night,hangout/stay out late at night once in a month, you should be the one to take him out *be on the wheel*, go for a long walk together; sweetie, let's go for a walk. Be the one to initiate the idea.
      Watch romance movies in series together
      play games together,laugh, you guys should be intimate first.

      Ignite romance in your home,light up your bedroom, change that window bling in your house for the sake of this flame of romance you desire, from the bedroom to the parlour. Put a touch of romance in your home. Light some nice scented candles day or night. This things doesn't cost anything.

      When AKS/calabar babe handle man,you guys will conclude she is using jazz. No be everything them they use jazz for.

      Secondly, as a wife dress smart and sextual, within a twinkle of an eye, you guys will stop using lubricant.

      That thing you are fantasizing in that your side mitch your hubby has it, everything lies on you as a wife.
      Besides didn't you guys court to gave known all this?

      Stay off from that guy you are admiring who doesn't even exist. Resist the devil and he will flee from you, not tomorrow you come here and blame the old devil how he has invaded your home.

      There is an adage that says "fly way no dey hear word nai dey escort dead body enter grave".

      A word is enough for the wise

      I rest my case

      I'm out.

    3. Wow @The godess... Thank you so much! After yabbing me the way you did,i got almost all what i need from your response. Thanks again.

  3. Poster 1, it's now a known fact that not only men have monopoly of cheating. I pray you get out of this situation of yours, above all, speak with your hubby about your sex life, let him know you people need to spice up your sex life.

    Poster 2, please do everything to chase that agent of destruction away from your brother

    *Larry was here*

  4. Poster one you are crazy, I'd your husband is the best why will you be thinking of another man? Is time to spark up your marriage, put those things inside the other guy in your husband. I'd tour husband is the one treating you like this how will you feel,?

    See a woman with sugar looking for salt.

  5. Narrative number 1, your head needs resetting, you don't know what you have till its gone.
    Narrative number 2, his head needs resetting, you don't know what you have till its gone. God help you both

    1. The case for an
      Christianity and
      monogamy is weakened further by the fact
      that socially imposed monogamy was first
      established in ancient Greece and Rome,
      centuries before Christianity even existed.
      Greco-Roman laws prohibited any man from
      having more than one official wife at a time.
      It's true that forms of de facto polygyny (e.g.
      concubinage, sex with slaves) continued to be
      tolerated in these societies. Nevertheless,
      anti-polygyny laws made Greco-Roman society
      relatively sexually egalitarian (Scheidel, 2009),
      because by preventing elite men from legally
      acquiring multiple wives, they improved the
      ability of lower-ranking men to acquire wives
      of their own.
      So by the time Christianity began spreading
      through the Roman Empire in the first
      centuries AD, monogamy was already well-
      established. But even though Christianity did
      not introduce socially imposed monogamy to
      the West, it did fully embrace this institution,
      and as noted above, it was this embracement
      that ultimately led to monogamy's spread
      throughout the Western world.

  6. Poster one
    You knew "he was introverted" and you married him. . . yes you love him.
    What is happening in your head is called "imaginations" and "the weapons of our warfare are mighty through God in casting down imaginations . . ."
    The weapon to employ here is "fasting and praying"; do it with your husband or go solo and perhaps he will join. Your flesh needs some discipline for your mind to be focused.
    If you don't, with time, the Serpent will work out the ugly from those imaginations.

  7. Poster 2, I pity ur bro, there is really a difference btw black pussy and white one. Live with a white woman and taste black pussy for once. You will understand.

  8. Poster two tell call that side chick and tell her to stay away from your brother.

  9. Poster One... There's nothing wrong in drifting of... It's normal. Depends on how it's been handled. Sometimes the πŸ”₯ burns out... The most important thing is that he is your friend. In that case feelings can be restructured/revamped. We all are Human. This the exact situation some men find themselves in, then they get carried away with the it.

  10. Poster 1:
    Fasting and meditations in God's word is what will renew your mind so that you do not conform to the patterns of this world in your thoughts.

    Poster 2:
    In all you do, do not confront the side chick else you expose yourself to be murdered! You women know the kind of things you do.
    Face your brother squarely. Try to gather evidence that will strengthen your case and make him back off.
    But know that spiritual input is needed in form of fasting and prayer. Your brother might have been imprisoned with a spell by the "side chick". No sand man pays such flight tickets just to come and have sex.

  11. Poster 1 :
    Your village people are busy telling you to come out of your marriage. That mumu fantasy will leave you once you see yourself in your papa house.

    Poster 2 :
    Go to Queen and Boss aka CHIEF for pigeon and spiritual cleansing for your brother and to Yori Yori Nwa for her bishop to do spiritual check up on your brother... But honestly mind your business if you can

  12. Poster 2
    Try to open up to the wife to know if their relationship is healthy. Questions like;
    "how does my brother behave over there; hope he doesn't stress you etc.?"
    That will help you analyse your brothers behavior. if he is in a toxic relationship, he may be looking for a way out and to marry another

  13. Lemme sit back and read comments for inspiration.

  14. Lemme sit back and read comments for inspiration.

  15. Aproko! Mind your business@second narative

  16. This one you've started imagining another man n getting wet, hahahaha that's how it starts,anyway.

    1. And wen it comes to her hubby, lubricants are needed.

      Poster1 find that fire as fast as u can and bring it back. Talk to ur husband abt what u feel can spice up ur home n try it out

    2. When her husband dumps her and the side boo tells her her kini is too wide for him as she is a mother. She will start visiting mfm and synagogue saying ppl are doing her. Meanwhile she used her own hand to scatter her marriage.
      People who their husband's sleep home just once a week will come and tell you stories.

  17. the first poster need to be flog real hard by a soldier, may be after that the whirl sex thing will jump out of your head

    second poster wentin concern you.. aunty amebo.. kini problem yii?... since you have to talk to your brother and he didn't listen to you then give up... mind you. don't tell his wife anything ooo.. expect you want people to call you aunty da'ileru.. and don't bother to call any side chick, she is not the problem but your brother... my own little advice ooo

    ***that barrack boy***

  18. Very delicate matters. I will just read comments.

  19. Don't tell ur brother's wife, she will catch him herself.

    1. That will be so bad @bb considering d fact that she's frm a different country and dt might affect her bro over there...

      Poster pls sit ur bro down and talk to him

  20. Poster one, find the lost spark. Poster two, call your brother to order and mind your business.

  21. MonkeyNoFineTheTafiaMama24 September 2017 at 15:35

    Poster 1, I will be very sincere with you, crushing on any dude U like is normal while married but make it healthy and let the love u have for your husband and the fear of God conquer it all, it happens ones in a while but let it be healthy like admiration! Each time u imagining things about your crush try to always picture your husband body in it!and always try to reject it😊 Secondly the reasons why you no longer feel that same fire for your man is because u both wake up to each other every gadame day! Don't think that love ain't there anymore (big lie) the fire is still there but no time to miss him cause he's always in your face! Same sex position is killing the vibes,same room, same house, not so good for couples . Are you guys financially ok? Why not travel out of your home to spend like one or two weeks outside? Like that there will be opportunity to miss him/each other . Better still plan a trip with him and have hotel sex? You can still make out in the kitchen, bathroom when the kids are not home, u can initiate it with him and tell him wat you craving for.

    There was a time me and my man stays at home straight 3 months. One day he told me he miss talking to me on phone cos we talk dirty when he's not around on phone like boyfriend and girlfriend, two days after i carry my bag jeje and went to visit my mum and we have all the time to talk on phone till he started pleading that I should come back home. Yaah sometimes u just try to spice things up!

    Talk to your man please.....

    1. Thank you for this.

    2. Best response and the only realistic and sensible one too. Thumbs up.

  22. @ first poster please dont do it, im a mum of two, been with my partner for 10yrs...i tried it one with a guy, now it has become an habbit,my crazy habbit is sleeping with a guy once and cutting all contact, my partner cheats too but i think my own is even worse,but i practice safe sex all the time...

  23. Poster 1...
    Your marriage is still very young.. Why evil?talk to your husband.
    Poster 2
    Oversabi go kill you you want make your brother get black pikin.

    1. Kikikikiki Kikikikiki Kikikikiki Kikikikiki you dy mind the aunty amebo, let her be ready to accept the lady as her sister inlaw cos your bros must definitely marry from home that's a norm, you are a sister from hell, you should encourage him to get a black wife

    2. What kind of mentality is this @ama whatever. So u now encourage cheating cos the person being cheated on is not a Nigerian? What kind of upbringing do some of you here have sef??

  24. Poster 1 I think you should have " the talk" with ya husband and let him know about the way you are feeling. Communication they say is the key to resolving issues. Poster 2, I don't know what to say to you. On one hand, ignorance is a bliss and on the other, nine days for the thief and one day for the owner. Wish y'all luck.

  25. Poster 2:- Prayer is the key.Pray for strength of will and character for your weak brother.Ask God to give your brother self-control and discipline and the willpower to resist temptation.Pray earnestly so when next slay queens come to kidnap him armed with AK-47, your brother would stand firm and sure.Your brother would beat his chest and declare in Martin Luther King Jnr's voice "If you want to kill me,kill me make I die.I will never follow you to
    that station'

  26. Poster one, devil is playing kalokalo with your brain. You better stop right where you are.

    Poster two, I don't even know what to tell you.

  27. Masturbate. It's your body and that's just fine. Teach your husband how yo please you more

    1. Masturbate?? For how long?? I thought this is a grievous sin? for your avocado oil,ginger oil, garlic oil, cucumber oil any type of oil kindly contact 2BF33D4A. Lol

  28. Poster one... Stop day dreaming cos d guy in question is not aware of all u are doing... I pray u don't ruin ur marriage urself

  29. @Poster 2 I advice you to keep shut. Yes, its painful especially when the woman is nice. But even heard: what God has joined together let no man put asunder? You telling will be you putting asunder cos white women dont play with cheats. Also, she can discover by herself without you getting involved. You may think you're doing right by her but it's not in your place to. And you may end up being an enemy to both of them. She's nice but do you know if she's 100% faithful (see @poster 1) or if they have an open marriage sef? Face front and caution your brother endlessly. Afterall he's an adult and knows the implication of what he's doing. Abi?

    If it bothers you too much, send an anonymous mail/text to her. Buy if your brother catches you just prepare to be the badt guy for a while.

  30. Poster 2 please do not interfere. The French have the happiest marriages and divorce rate is very low because they have an understanding. 90% of them are in open marriages. Your brother might not tell you about his arrangement so just let things be. Seems crazy but that's the French way of life and they are very happy for it.

  31. poster 2 is your brother name started with U . please pray for him he needs help.

  32. Poster 1:madam it seems you are idle, the bible an idle mind is the devils workshop,pls get busy if you are a full house wife biko get something doing,occupy your mind.
    Poster 2: I have a sister in-law and I see her like my sister,what I would do if I was you,is report him to our parents,as for that side chicken would make life unbearable for her
    Do something fast before she gets pregnant for him and turn herself to naija wife.

  33. Hian. If poster two was reporting a woman all of you will tell her to cast. Hypocrites!!

    1. Lol.... You're saying the truth

  34. abeg! see them making the first poster feel like she's doing something bad, its perfectly normal. You and your husband CAN renew your sex lives and bring back that spark,it is totally doable! and even after renewing, its gonna die again,and you renew again, that's what happens in marriage. you think other people who have been married for 15years still have sex like they used to when they just married? they don't! marriage constantly needs work! Just don't ever contact that crush cos if you do,you go hear am.

    how about you and hubby take a honeymoon, no kids allowed. even if its just for 3days of a weekend starting Friday evening. you will be happy. that's you see these celeb couples going on dates without the kids, they do the couple vacation and family vacation separately cos the romance needs to be kept alive!!!

    1. MonkeyNoFineTheTafiaMama24 September 2017 at 20:04


  35. Poster one, Satan is about to play poker with your marriage if you don't wake up from getting wet in your head by a guy you've not seen in years and start looking for ways of getting wet in reality for your good hubby who's right by your side daily!

  36. Poster 1......The phase you're going through is normal in a marriage. Remove the thought of that other man from your imagination. It's you that has to make efforts to bring back back the fire in your marriage...The leaves are always green where it's work harder to bring the back the man you marry out of his shell.....
    Poster your brother and tell him the consequences of what he's getting himself the end of the day it's his life, his choice

  37. It is now a know fact that women are worse when it comes to cheating, Men are not just discreet about it thats why the whole world condemn men. Women cheats more than men and conceal it, I always tell my friends i will never pressure myself in other to please a woman, because Women can and will never be satisfied only few will, Because for them to shave their Eye brow then use eye pencil to draw another one which implies that they dont appreciate what God gave 'em, How can we satisfy them then if God can't??

  38. Poster 2....did the french woman has kids for your brother. If not that maybe the reason why he wants a Nija wife. And mind you, your parents may even be the one encouraging him to have a Nija wife for them.
    If you want to be sure, report him to your parent and hear their reaction...

  39. Poster 1:Please don't let ur 'fantasies' ruin ur marriage
    Poster 2:Sit ur brother down and talk some sense into him


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