Stella Dimoko Saturday In House Gist - The Viral Marriage Trend.


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Saturday, September 09, 2017

Saturday In House Gist - The Viral Marriage Trend.

Please read this............

Wait! Yes, you. I know you are here to see the band in preparation for Saturday's life time event. I know you have paid BN to make a picture noise of your event, but let me steal a minute of your time. Sorry for my audacity- I know it is none of my business, but just let me preach this sermon and discharge the moral burden on me. I can see the bride to-be staring at me- she just want me to make a statement that would indicate that the marriage should not be contracted and I'll smell as great as a roasted meat. Easy, lady, no sane man will do that and the last time I checked, I am still okay up there. I know a diamond encrusted ring is what the bride wants, the wedding gown was designed by Pnina Tornai and was bought at the exclusive Kleinfeld in New York. 

I also know that the groom will order for four pairs of classy Italian shoes- changing from one to another every four hours... It is all good, but may I ask this begging question? How did you get here? How was the decision to marry in seven days time reached?

The above question is the reason for this piece- to attempt correcting an anomaly that is parading itself as an acceptable social convention. In disguise, it has managed to cross the historic border from generations to generations- breaking homes more than building it. Making mothers with the mental disposition of toddlers and fathers whose level of responsibility is not beyond that of a class 5 class captain- fetching chalks and dusters. Then we cry foul- children lacking compass of good attitude are on the loose, born children of anger unleashing e-terror on the social media, youths are lacking in the intellectual credential to be leaders. We blame them all, but can a sick convention birth an outcome that is hale? So, I write.

There is a dangerous trend that is selling very fast- than 'galas' and 'lacasera' sell in a setting filled with job searching graduates. It leaves young men pushed and unfulfilled, ladies helpless and frustrated and the society at large wanton. Individuals make a family, family makes a home and homes make a community. Then, it is right to hold that the larger society or nation is sick not because of the government perse but because we are all sick. Yes, all of us- though for different purposes and varying degrees. Let me address one of these dangerous norms- the marriage for people.

In recent time, I have observed the drastic growth in the penchant for marriage- mostly common among ladies. It started from my observation on my social media pages on free weekends- Facebook, BBM et al. Wait, I am not against marriage as an institution and I do not intend to do a review of who or who should not get married, but I want to address the purpose. On one occasion, a female friend updated the wedding picture of her friend. That was not her first time and it is not uncommon for people to do that.

 But there was an event this time- in less than 3 minutes, another mutual friend updated her pm with the dp of my good friend, the PM read 'this girl has felicitated with millions of her friends who became brides, abeg guys, pick her too now, she is aging.' It was a joke- an expensive and insensitive one. Such may not pull a strand of hair from some of us, we know some people's fingers are faster than their brains, but it did not go down well with my friend. She removed the picture she used immediately and an exchange of harsh remarks started on PMs. I would not step in, but I watched and observed.

I think that like my other friend that made that insensitive remark, most, if not all of us are misguided in orientations and philosophy about marriage, what it stands for and what it should achieve. It is beyond hooking up with someone at a certain age, sex, making babies or whatever. But here we are, at a cross road- confused and forcing that philosophy on others. So, when a lady is not married or engaged between 23 to 27, she is in trouble. Why? Forget whatever social basis or inclinations on the ground of religion.

 It is not about the right age, but the right time. I have observed that love, whatever meaning we give it does not solely sustain relationship. Same goes with money, look, friendship or whatever. The moral believe that a lady or a guy should be married at a certain age in itself expresses our moral decadence- that we lack the understanding and basic principle of living and letting live. Marriage is not just about love, sex, money, accomplishments or making babies- all those can be gotten outside marriage. Though, I am not saying sex or baby should come to play outside the institution but it is just an expression of the truth.

A lady or guy could say that she wants happiness in a man before she can marry him or that he wants fulfilment in a woman, who are we to define happiness or fulfilment for them? For God sake, marriage is about the two people involved, not even the in-laws or ever meddling friends. The danger in the argument of 'right' age for marriage is this- it mistakes age for exposure and maturity but that is a not well conceived one. 

For me, even at 19, if you are convinced that it is the right time to go into it and you have what it takes, I support it. But will you tell me that at 30 or even more, a person who is not mentally prepared or feels the right time has not come should get married? Majority of the marriages contracted today are done for the people- marriage for the people- people are talking, they are asking you why all your friends are married but you are not, they are asking why your two younger sisters are married and you don't even have a boyfriend, they whisper something each time you walk by because you are 31 and you don't have a fiancée. 

Then, to stop them from talking and kill the shame, you said that most important YES to the man or woman who is not even it. Congratulations, you just married for the people. I hope the people will bear the consequence with you and know how painful wearing that shoes can be? Youths, marry for your own purpose and conviction, not public opinion.

So, thanks for the time my dear brother and sister. May you not marry for people on Saturday.

May I have a copy of the invitation card?



  1. Ewu! First to comment once again. Na them sabi! All I know is that I must get a baby mama from this blog. By this time next year, I want to have Ewu love junior. If you are slim,tall, light and RICH, please hit me up under this comment. Ewu love junior loading. Ewu! Ewu! Ewu!

  2. I'm waiting for my snm bf to propose. I so much love him even tho he can be so annoying. The weird fact is that he has been with a lot of girls even on this blog but I don't give a flying fuck cos I love him honestly. I want to be the only woman in his life forever. I want to walk down the aisle with him and bear him beautiful kids. I love my Edo boo. Hope you get to see this and do the needful? ....

    1. Babe, be careful of that nigga.

    2. The dots aren't complete. My edo boo is ..... I love my engineer hahahaha.

    3. Desperate girls everywhere, I am engaged at 35 and to a great man, I was never rushing into marriage,I took my time and God gave me the best.

    4. The fact that you got engaged at 35 makes others desperate? Pls pack well,we are in a world where if you love with your whole heart is termed desperate, if you pretend not to have fallen in love is assumed that you're seeing other men.

  3. Well written
    People now get married to stop people from throwing them pity looks.

    I had an experience on my last birthday that made me cut off alot of friends.

    Instead of wishing me happy birthday, they were murmuring "Are u going to spend your birthday alone today,where is your partner, when are you getting married?

    I was so upset that I quietly blocked all those who sought to ask me such questions laced with mockery.

    Am a young person who has soo much to offer the world so why would I allow all my achievements be judged by a wedding band.

    If you are not married within a certain time frame the society terms you as irresponsible despite your other achievements.

    Plus it's quite annoying that no matter how successful you are as a woman they always want to judge you by the wedding band in your left finger.

    Well the writter wrote a good piece, people need to stop allowing themselves be bullied into marriages especially when they are not matured or ready for it.


    1. You can say that again
      .... So many annoying ppl out there judging based on marital status and thinking they are better than you cos they are married...

      To all those who measure their worth by their wedding band... Kiss my ass!!

  4. Long mumbo-jumbo

    Marriage is a good thing and it is not overrated. I am tired of reading articles telling women what to do with their life.

    If you want to spend millions on your wedding, do so. If you want a low key wedding, do so.

    This piece is clearly unnecessary and to make matters worse, you almost copied Rueben Abati's manner of writing and didn't nail it. Don't bore me please.


    1. That's is why people like you are said to have only gone to school without being educated.. You simply lack basic wisdom and a discerning level of comprehension.. Please highlight where this post mentioned what you spend on weddings... No wonder your life itself is a mystery... Stop hating and getting furious for no reason... Read between the lines and get knowledge ... Judgina...


    2. If a post bores you, simply ignore. And to make matters worse, you almost got the point.

    3. Anonymous 14:38 and victorious Ehis(God bless you).You guys did not read the write up obviously. Olodo!!!

  5. In this our Nigerian society? Would they ever change their retarded and backward way of thinking?

  6. The way and rate at which our brain processes things and ideologies are different. For some it comes with age, while for others, it might be with experience or exposure. Once a lady is in love, a whole lot of things are overlooked. So many important things aren't discussed. The attraction and the feeling of being in love makes one think that irrespective of what comes up in the future, we will weather the storm.

    I really don't have a problem with people getting married, hoping for a better tomorrow. Nobody goes into marriage knowing fully well that it will end in emptiness and frustration.

    The thing is, when the emptiness and frustration comes, what next? People are made to live in terrible situation because of the society. Having made the first mistake because of society, it is time our society comes to term that it's ok to undo. Life is lived only once. Why Should I be miserable because my pastor says 'God hates divorce'. or because 'people will think I have a terrible character that men cannot put up with'.

    I am not clamoring for a reckless life. I am not saying let's get divorce rate up the roof. All I am saying is, even after mistakes have been made and it seems to be a dead end. Let's separate as friends. Do not take the next decision thinking about other people. Be selfish for once and live your life. Do not just exist. You deserve to be happy.

    If your husband hasn't slept with you in 3years.Please what are you waiting for? You cook and clean in exchange for rent cause really, he is just your landlord. Live your life and be happy.

    #Moving on

    1. 100!!!! So many women living wasted lives. All your potential, joy, hopes and dreams crushed because of another human being who is living their own life.
      Westerners understand the meaning of life and what marriage should be and so when marriage is no longer working they end it and move on with living life. Nigerian women worship at the altar of marriage and so they are ready to sacrifice everything for it.

  7. The writer has good intentions but it was too lengthy and kinda mumbled a lot of salient points in the process.

    To each his own really, you wanna marry then by all means do...just don't "pressure" the single women out there achieving greatness to settle for way less than they deserve in d name of marriage.

    It can be a great thing, with the right person! Choose right!

  8. #Every single day you should wake up and commit yourself to becoming a better person*


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