Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Saturday, October 28, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...



Hello Stella pls i need your help and that of fellow bvs urgently so i can know what to do. 

Every year in the month of October precisely my husband beats me. We've been married for 3 years now and that's how its been. 

He's 13 years older than i am and we have 2 kids. 

I'm not sure about the date cos i've not really taken note and don't know if i will be around next year to take note but i'm 100% sure of the month. And the things that triggers it are usually little and things that doesn't warrant such reactions,like dinner not getting ready on time to me not paying enough attention to the kids and letting one fall down or not getting ready on time to go out.

 The one for this year's happened 2 nights ago because our daughter fell down and bit her lip and as usual he blamed me and the slaps started then blows followed right in front of my kids and help. Although he shouts at the top of his voice a lot every other day, calls me all sort of names from foolish to stupid to childish to ode oshi and what have you and scolds me in front the maid or not minding that the security man and our tenants might hear his voice without caring how i feel.......

I have been managing like that but this annual beating i don't understand. And the worst part is he never apologises, the only time he apologized was last year's and i guess its cos i was 6 months pregnant then and the apology didn't even come till about a week after the beating.

 The first year it started with one slap,last years several slaps and hitting my head against the wall severally despite being pregnant then this year several slaps and blows and picking up a frying pan that if i say anything he will hit me with it(the whole scene happened in the kitchen).

Pls help me, what can i do, my kids are growing up and i don't want them to start understanding what is going on. The almost daily shouts still bothers me terribly and now i have to add annual beating to it? 

When he beats me it takes a long time for me to heal emotionally,it brings back bitter memories of all the physical and s§xual abuse i endured as a child and orphaned for so many years before God set me free and gave me good guardians that raised me with love and i promised myself never to let nothing or no one put me through such again only for me to be feeling that way over again,i feel so miserable and worthless,if not for my kids i even feel suicidal but the thought that i don't have any family i can rely on to take care of them makes me just endure but honestly i'm tired.

 Please kindly advice. Thanks.

*Oh dear!!!
My dear this sounds like one chance....Is there no one of authority to report this behaviour to?this is verbal and physical abuse and it could get worse.

Being an Orphan doesnt mean you need to sit down and take this..

You work?Are you financially able to stand on your feet?
Please make leaving that man an option..Leave if it doesnt get better.

This is really sad!!!


  1. My sister leave before annual beating turns to annual remembrance of your short life on earth. Hope he is not a yaraba demon. Empower yourself carry your kids and disappear without leaving him a trace till you recover then slam him with terms and condition of coming near his kids.

    1. @Poster;Did the both of you marry yourselves in the first place because of LOVE??

      Were you both compatible psychologically,emotionally and mentally before you said "I do" ??
      Or did you marry him because you thought it was the easiest escape route to freedom?? (As most ladies see it and perhaps do)

      A man can get married for several reason!!
      It could be "For Love" or because he simply sees the woman as the "Perfect Baby Factory" who could give him children and nothing more...

      Its beyond what you see now dear,and truth is that you alone know what you personally felt for him(and vice versa) before tying the knot with your,you either live with what you are seeing now!! Or you stop feeling sorry for yourself and stand your ground like a lioness if he dares want to lift his hands on you next time(then face whatever comes out)..

      Freedom most times doesnt come for free!! and in your case your husband would be confused,gobsmacked and wondering what gave you the nerves to be non-submissive to his beating next time(perhaps next year)...

      Men and Women(most especially) should learn how to marry for LOVE!!!
      A man who is thoroughly bonded Emotionally with his wife cannot raise his hands so easily to hit her for "WHATEVER" reason..

      "I LOVE YOU" isnt the same as "I WANT TO MARRY YOU" nowadays...
      A word is enough....

      Good-luck @POSTER!


    2. Hubby use to do shakara. The first time he slapped me, I was shocked. I quietly entered my room. The minutes later, my mum-in law came to call me for family night prayers and I still went, he even led the prayer. I didn't know how to react as my brain was not interpreting it well. The second time he tried rubbish with him, I called my mum to start coming from another state with 2 coffins. Then I faced him, the way I handled him, I almost hit him with the heels of my shoe but thank God I didn't it. After the fight, he even mentioned that, he knew I had planned it in my mind. Unfortunately, it was a part of me he had never seen. The born again in me disappeared because I wasn't going to be treated badly. I was ready to give a good fight. He saw the hidden demon in me. Since then, na respect oh. He now knows, you slap me, I slap u twice.

    3. Na so my friend jack her husband after the second time he slapped her and threw eba on her, since then he no try am again

    4. Hahaha @ anonymous 4:13

  2. I hate men that hit women with a passion!...
    Poster,spit on his food before serving him!...
    Infact,wash your period and use the water to prepare his favorite food!!..
    Use your urine to cook for the idiot!...
    Let him eat the waste products from your body and die slowly...
    And finally,if you are in Lagos,look for a good white garment church so they can do a spiritual work on his head like knacking of pigeon and all that!...
    You need to tame the fool so you can enjoy your marriage...

    1. You hate them?
      Isn't it "pigeon knacking" backfiring that results in this?

    2. Queen Queen. You've got me all LMAO! Can't try any of your advice myself but look out for your comment all the time. No post is ever complete without your comment.

    3. Poster this comment up πŸ‘† here is comedy, please. Please and please, don't try that at home.

      Queen and Boss aka CHIEF
      Ishi nnini?
      Ele Ele ooooo
      Nkem ekpomekwenu oooπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Ijele dike
      Oke mmuo na eti onwe ya
      Nne biko nataba.
      Iwe gi di oku dajuo.
      Asi na egbu maka iwe, enie maka osibe isi. Ya mere Agu nwanyi dajuoπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    4. Linda, she is one of your disciples
      She knacked pigeon in October and suppose to be
      receiving the due rewards every October
      This is it!
      The sorrows of they that seek after other gods
      will multiply (Psalm 16:4)

    5. Chike, okwa unu siri ikwikwi nyua ahu ka unu kwebere ya egwu
      Onyuzia ahu
      Unu asi na obu egwuriegwu.
      Ngwanu ahu asibego!

      You people told ikwikwi the bird to fart that you will sing
      she farted
      and you said it it is a joke
      As you can see, the fart is smelling.

    6. Linda i swear na wetin the man need be dat. Useless he goat. How can u marry and turn your wife to your slave,shouting at her even infront of your kids and help. I can’t deal abeg

    7. Awwww thanks BheemπŸ’‹πŸ’‹...

      Hahahahaha Chike Ugogbe Chikito!,,,
      Iji m na oru mehn...
      Kee ije gi nwanne madu?,,,
      Ama m na udo gba "chuu"...
      The comment is not comedy my brother...a man that use his wife,the mother of his children as a punching bag deserve worse!...
      The funny part is they don't marry crazy women like me ka m gwoo ha ji mmanu...

      Asin ehhe miss Juliet...

    8. Queen Queen nne m adim oyi.
      Udo ma akwa Nwanne m oo.

    9. Lmao @anon 16:36
      Nwanne oburo na udi a.

  3. Really sad to read. Beating you every month of October might be just a coincidence.
    It's not too late to cry out. Marriage isn't a gateway to heaven. Talk to someone ASAP!

    1. At home growing up, it was attending parties. Any parties attended with my parents, either or both, be they birthdays, get-togethers, etc will end up in a huge fight when we got home. The type neighbours will come out to watch. Probably why I am leery of parties till now. Please poster, you must ensure your kids don't grow up in all this brouhaha.

  4. Pele dear, you will be alright, I can't advice you to leave him as people will see me as an enemy of progress. But DV is what I can't tolerate, I so much cherish my body that I wouldn't want anything to stain it, I fear cane more than anything, I can't cope abeg

    *Larry was here*

  5. If u leave, you'll still go back when he comes n begs, so lemme face #mantot.

  6. In my own opinion, any man that physically or verbally abuses his wife or her husband is a big fool.And not mature enough for marriage!

    Poster, take a bold step and summon your husband early morning and have a heart to heart talk with him!
    Let him know that you can't take the physical and verbal abuse any longer Warn him seriously,to stop insulting you in the presence of your kids and the house help.

    Hope you are financially ok?
    One more thing,don't argue with him.
    Avoid those things that trigger his shoutings.

    May God bless and keep your home..

    1. PSD my problem with the likes of this poster is that they always see the sign before marriage.

    2. Chike nwoke oma eziokwu do na okwugia...

  7. Are there things you are not telling us
    What happened in October?
    Was there a "tying him or pigeon knacking" on his head in October that expired?
    Look at before marriage and trace what happened.

  8. Very very sad!! If na me I don run since o!! relationships should have empathy . Please also pray, sometimes the things happn are more spiritual than physical.. God see you through

  9. So sad. Poster if the hitting is too much pls leave.

  10. Please take your kids and run away before this man kills you and make your kids motherless.
    If you are dependent on him,better start saving everything you can now.
    Who are those that gave your hand in marriage? Report him to one of them that you can confide in o you don't die one day in the hands of this man.

    1. The best you can do is to leave him only if you can, I don't like to say things like this but this seems to be your only way out. But didn't you guys date before marriage? I don't know sef.

  11. I am as confuse as you are . But there is nothing prayers can not do . As Jesus to fix it

  12. OMG,I swear some men know what kind of women to beat.Why don't you hit him back?The first time my man slap me,I gave him right back followed by some good punches.He never try that shit ever again.I will suggest that you move out temporarily, maybe he will realized how much he needs you and the kids

  13. Pls dear join an anti domestic violence group today eg. Due process advocates (DPA). Speak to any of the admins, don’t die in silence please.

    1. Please, please and please.

    2. Pls leave before he kills you.Think of your children.

  14. Probably your husband is always super provoked, on why Nigeria should exist at all, by gaining independence in October...

    Domestic violence is unacceptable. But avoid those "little" things that trigger such reactions. If it doesn't stop, you'll need to escape to live...

    1. Kai! St.Frank, you made me laugh.

    2. St.Frankool ooooπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚!

    3. FoolπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  15. Poster.......have you try reporting him to his parents because you didn't mention that. Or try to report him to his close friend,you will be shocked they have no inkling he's someone that can beat a woman.
    I hope you have a job or business. If not start demanding money for different things and save enough for yourself and kids. Enrol the children in school and demand money for school fees and school stuff, don't pity him abeg.
    Also, continue praying for yourself and kids because you don't know this annual beating might be a ritual something...

  16. Nawa o... I don't know hw someone will raise hand on a pregnant woman. Poster pls save money n empower ursef first so u can increase ur options. Was he not in love wt u before d marriage. I don't seem to understand dv in marriage. D one psn dat is supposed to stand by u n protect u no matter wat is nw d cause of ur pain...pls Pray too. God's grace

  17. How does he hold your head to hit against the wall not once, not twice? That man is an animal beating a woman in the first place and a devil beating a pregnant woman. You don't sound like you have any source of income. That's why most women stay and die there in eating shit. Woman nobody deserves to live the way you are living. It doesn't end well most times. He needs help.

  18. i feel for this poster buh i feel you were so much in a hurry to escape your life as an orphan that you didn't notice they signs before marrying this your husband. May God guard everyone of us particularly we orphans, some guys and their families think they are doing you a favour marrying you, YES! saying from experience and thank God i wasn't in a hurry then, my name for be sorry by now. Poster please take heart, e go better, as for me i can't be an orphan and still be unhappy in marriage like why am i existing? abi Jesus didn't die for me too?

  19. i feel for this poster buh i feel you were so much in a hurry to escape your life as an orphan that you didn't notice they signs before marrying this your husband. May God guard everyone of us particularly we orphans, some guys and their families think they are doing you a favour marrying you, YES! saying from experience and thank God i wasn't in a hurry then, my name for be sorry by now. Poster please take heart, e go better, as for me i can't be an orphan and still be unhappy in marriage like why am i existing? abi Jesus didn't die for me too?

  20. Poster your husband might be suffering from mental problem considering the fact that this happens around same time is a symptom. Try learning more about mental health issues and get someone to tell him to see an expert for proper diagnosis. All the best.

  21. Do you live in anambra onitsha, why does your chronicle sound like that of someone I know, who his husband drinks like fish.

  22. I shudder when I read some things.
    Poster please run very fast so that you can stay alive to take care of your children. Seems your husband is mentally deranged.

  23. Hello Poster,remember that you are not alone. God is your father_ let God console your heart. Meanwhile I know you have the guardians that brought you up and also his relations that you can talk to. Please get them involved urgently and let them talk sense to him. And avoid doing what provokes him. If he didn't change then separate from him to avoid death sentence. Also,stop giving him the impression that you don't have anyone. Be financially independent and in all pray about because pray changes a lot. Please don't be sad and don't think of suicide. Seek God. It is well with you. Love you dear

  24. Eyya!this is a sad tale, dear poster pls run while u ar still alive oo don't think bcx of ur children or what will ppl say syndrom and remain in abusive marriage ooo. pack out of his house and give him time maybe by so doing he wl change if he loves u. May God see u true this trying time.


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