Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Monday, November 27, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...




My ex is in prison for a crime he committed, I didn't know he was into such. I loved him, so much. It's been awhile....and he's going to likely spend more time there....I love him enough to wait for him but the secrets he kept from me which I realised during his case, meeen that's just too much to keep. 

It's been awhile. To get over the hurt, I had s§x with this very nice guy that has been on my matter.......guess what? I cried cos it wasn't him. 

The crying cycle has happened again and again. 

How do I get over my ex? Over his touch, over his kiss, over his strokes...? I can't stand doing this with another, I'm tried of crying. Most importantly if I get married is this how I'm gonna cry every night?
Help me.

I remember the story that was all over the news my dear....
*Crying that what?You told me that you still visit him in jail so i would advise that you stop doing so for now to get over him....

Stop feeling as if you would have abandoned him if you take a walk,afterall he was not truthful with what he does for a living to you.

Snap out of that crying and stop trying to use s§x to get over a bad relationship....heal on God's word and find peace within yourself and go into a healthy relationship!
You hear?



‎Good day Stella and Bvs.

Stella please I would appreciate if you post this, keep me anonymous.

I live in Lagos with my elder brother while my fiancĂ© resides in the east but lectures ‎in a federal polytechnic in the north (before you ask, he has been working on his transfer before we met but it hasn't been successful). He goes to north whenever they are in session and back to east on vacation. I on the other hand,is a contract staff in a private firm in Lagos.

He is planning on coming with his people in January 2018 for payment of bride price and other small traditional rites, white wedding and traditional wedding comes up in April.

The reason for the chronicle is this ; my job doesn't pay much and we actually thought that by now I would have gotten a better job or promoted to a full time staff, that way he will rent out his place in the east, relocate to Lagos and get an accommodation for us (since he doesn't stay permanently in east or north and we don't want to raise our kids in the north).

Since the initial plan didn't work he is now suggesting I quit my job this December and relocate to the east in January, learn a trade(sewing precisely) and also enroll for Masters. Makes sense but I have my reservations, I can't just quit the job that gives me little money at the end of the month and depend solely on him for my upkeep. He is a junior lecturer and we all know how educators are undervalued in terms of payment in this part of the world. We have equally tried getting a job for me in the east, unfortunately that has been difficult as well.

I suggested keeping my job for now, learn trade on weekends and do Masters later but he refused on the bases that relocating to the east will equally bring us closer since South West and North are far apart. Asked me to choose between Lagos/my job and what we are planning.

Please Stella and Bvs , is it wise to leave my job and become dependent on him knowing fully well he doesn't earn much or should I insist on staying in Lagos for now and see what happens before April (as par job)? In between, his rent in the east just expired and he plans on renewing it this week mainly because of me. I promise to give him feedback on Monday evening.

Stella please your red pen is needed. Thanks ma'am.

*Ah this your matter na wah oh....
I dont suggest leaving your job to go somewhere and become idle but i hope your staying on in Lagos will not cost you the relationship?If it wont,please stay on in Lagos save the little money you can from the job you are doing now....

I hope you get enough responses to help you decide what to say to him this evening!


  1. Poster one,continue crying!...

    Poster 2,
    Don't you ever leave your job because of a broke ass!...
    Marriage without money from your side is hell!!...

    1. Poster 1- what exactly do you miss about your jailbird can't be his company na, it's the sex ba? Pls stop going to see him. Babe,he lied to you! He freaking lied to you. What sort of life were you hoping to have with him? One filled with uncertainty, that's What! Pls behave yourself! If he lied about that, what else is he lying about??? And you want to wait for him? You want to put your life on hold and wait for a man in Prison!!! He must have kryptonite for a d**k! He may have good qualities, don't get me wrong but ...think with your head biko

      Poster 2- sorry you say you want to go where? Leave your job and go to the east and be What? A stay-at-home wife who is learning sewing...please look yourself in the mirror and say it out loud! To your hearing o! Look the chances of him getting a job is Lagos is much better than you getting a job in the east! Stay put biko! Work and save as much as you can. You guys can both job hunt aggressively, whichever clicks you move there, but don't move when you have nothing financially viable to do. Use your tongue to count your teeth. Even if e go sweet the first two months, but you will eventually get frustrated because you'll have to depend on him for everything...

    2. @Queen, your comments always give me a headache.

  2. Poster2, I really don't like it when a man asks a woman to choose between him or her career. It always sends a red flag, anyway, arevyou sure he is the one? Do you have peace? If yes, relocate to the east or better self to the north AFTER WEDDING.

    Poster1 na wa oh, sleeping with someone just to get over another. AIDS is real oh. Fear God abeg and face your life. What you need is Jesus.

    1. I also hate such. Making me choose between my source of livelihood and a relationship is just dumb. But then, poster this is your situation, what do you feel at peace with?? Can't you both remain in your location for now until after marriage?? Then you can decide the way forward??

  3. P1! Is it that you still want him or you don't anymore. If you can't wait for him, move on. Why cry when you know it is over. P2, i don't think it is wise to quit your job except both of you have reached a certain kind of dialogue and that would be after marriage

    1. Stella, this one you said the news was all over...
      Poster 1, I hope your boyfriend is not one Aniete?
      If he is, I'm sorry to say but he's gonna rot there.
      For his many crimes, he will pay and if he gets out, he will pay in another way.
      God doesn't sleep.
      Actions come with consequences.
      As much as I'm a believer of second chances and forgiveness,
      On this matter, it's a No.
      If it's the guy I'm thinking, his cup don full.
      But if it's someone else, well, you wear the shoe and know how it pinches.

  4. Poster one,use the betrayal as an excuse to get over him.
    Poster two, stay put in Lagos. If you're important to him, let him get a successful transfer to Lagos or get you a job in the north...

  5. Arrange for conjugal visits naa, since it's d sex that's making u miss ur ex, he must have a horse dick...dont understand how u can love a criminal so much u can put ur life on hold for him. Just marry him, after all dey can organise prison wedding.

    1. dick is not everythg oh, he might knw hw to touch her & great chemistry.... everythg is not big dick.

  6. I don't like ultimatums in relationship. When someone says do this or I leave then you should leave. They are saying the relationship is not that important to them

  7. Poster 1, you clearly have too much time on your hands and lots of water in your eyes. Perhaps, someone keeps cutting onions next to you.
    Inserts cry me a river by Timberlake

    Poster 2,Do not start something you can't finish. The minute you leave that job that he thinks is not worth the distance relationship is when you'd see hian true colors. Learning a skill or doing your masters are cool ideas but what about funding? He doesn't earn so much either so why bank on that. You both should postpone your wedding until you've settled your location issue properly. Do not sacrifice all of you for a man whose true nature you cannot bank on.
    He is a lecturer, his job is also move able. He should find another job in Lagos to be with you or on in the East. His excuse makes no sense to me because if you move to the East, he'd still retain his job in the north and only see you when/if he visits the east. Same difference

    1. *his true colors
      *one in the East.

    2. Thanks for your good response especially to poster 2.

  8. Poster two, let him rent d house in lagos, instead of going to d east, he can be doing north n lagos.

  9. You love him enough to wait 4 him? Im sure youve given him ur word to patiently wait, so why cooking & eating indomie noodles while you know its rice you want eventually? Those tears running down ur cheeks signify guilt & betrayal, cus besides ur words to him ure still very emotionally connected to him... you can choose to have a form of distraction with ur legs closed u know, & what about conjugal visit for inmates? Oh ok, its for legal married couple.

  10. Poster one isn't crying because:
    She dishonored her creator by fornicating.
    She is harvesting stds and possibly "unwanted" pregnancy
    She is cheapening herself.

    She is crying because of touches and poundings she is missing.
    Who is deceiving who?

  11. Can't help wondering who poster 1 ' s boyfriend or ex is. She can't possibly be crying over married man Evansi (yeah Evansi lol). Anyway follow Stella's advice.

    I don't like it when you are told to choose between a job and marriage. What about reasoning together and making compromises together? His ideas are good but that source of income no matter how small is very important. Good luck to you both.

  12. My dear....pls stick to this job that gives you little o. Jobs are scarce now n I won't advice you sacrifice your source of sustenance to your relationship yet.

  13. First poster continue thinking with your pussy o you hear 😠

  14. Poster 2, everything you wish for is at the other side of fear. Why not take the risk? It might be worth it later. One caution I will suggest to you though. Let him know when you start leaving in the East you are not getting pregnant until you stand on your feet job wise (thats until you start making money and go for family planning) in that case when oga changes behaviour(which I believe is your fear), it will be easier for you to walk out. This said, I do pray everything works out well for you there.

    All the best.

  15. For poster two:
    Did you say you are planing to marry him?
    I don't see marriage plans here
    All I see is threats and selfishness on the part of you both.
    For you, the choice is simple; marriage or "little paying contract job".
    The man is the head and the head leads.

  16. That means you gbensh different guys you will be crying.
    Men likes crying women during sex. So chill and enjoy your new guy.
    This one you did not tell us how many years your ex go spend?

    Poster 2 don't quit yet. Painful when men will be telling women to quit their jobs.

    Men's ego.

  17. He kept information from you
    And have you confessed to the God who created the body and reproductory apparatus that you are mortgaging on the altar of fornication?

  18. @ P1: Time it is said heals all wounds,give your self some time to recover..If a new person comes along,give it time and see if you can build something but try not to compare too much,remember people are different..but if after these,you feel your ex is what you want,talk to him,pray and wait it out.
    @P2:"You dont want to raise children in the north" i agree its your opinion but hey...Why doesn't hubby to be get a place in lagos instead,since more opportunities abound there ( jobwise,skill,masters) since he already does North - east route,that way your job is still there to rely on,ultimately speak to your family,hear their opinion and speak to boo..
    Thanks..welcome me,am a first time commenter...

  19. Poster one ? seriously what's wrong with you? because i don't get it

  20. Poster 1: I have a strong feeling you are not telling us the whole truth. Perhaps you are involved in the reason he is being jailed or did you pressurized him into committing the crime for financial gains. If not why are you hooked on him. The fact that he is dubious and you discovered a lot of things about him during his trial is enough to run as fast as your legs can carry you. If it's the sex with him that is that great that you can't seem to feel comfortable or satisfied with another man I suggest you forget him, stay celibate for a while and start by just dating and getting to know other guys. But stay away from your jailed EX if you want everlasting peace and progress in your life and future.
    Poster 2: Wonder how you people define your relationship. A man or woman who is NOT ready to support his partner to grow is a controlling insecure sadist. Yes he wants you to go for your masters and learn sewing....which is a form of development. But what do you want? Are you interested in learning sewing and schooling without an income? His salary can't take you far especially with all this strikes in the educational sector. He has no attachment to the rastbthen why can't he make Lagos home. Again you need to be firm and emphatic in what you want. And don't rush into marriage if you guys can't solve a simple issue like where will home be? Trying to sacrifice your happiness for his will only end in disaster. Talk to him on why you can't leave Lagos BUT be sure of what you want. He is sure of his plans but you seem to be the one that wants to please him so that he won't dump you.

    #come back and thank me later

  21. Poster 2... Nothing good ever comes from quitting your job because of a man. In fact, that is where the frustration begins.

    Let me paint a scenario for you. Okay, you quit your job, move to the east, SIT AT HOME for about a month or two while trying to get an apprenticeship payment. Let's assume your salary is 50k monthly, this means you lost 100k already. You want to make your hair, you ask your fiance who might probably turn it down with the excuse of "shebi you are not going anywhere, why are you making your hair" you start getting, sad, unhappy and frustrated. You begin to regret leaving Lagos(A city full of opportunities)

    No wedding plans without money, at the end of the day, you will realize you have wasted your time in the east. You then fall out of love with him, decide to move back to Lagos in search of another job. YOU ARE BACK TO SQUARE ONE.

    My advice: Stay in Lagos, do not leave your job, Learn whatever you wish to learn during weekends. He will be glad you did at the end of the day.

    I hate having to depend on a man!! I hate it with a passion.

  22. poster 1, Why do i thinkthat you are Evan's wife mmmmmmm
    What do i know self???

  23. Poster 2, love doe not give ultimatum
    Ysour fiance is already using his hand to write on the wall.
    If you are a practical person, you might not have asked us for a response for your fiancé.
    I can't tell you to quit your job or not, but I can tell you that if I were in your shoes I wouldn't do that which your fiancé is asking.
    May God lead you.

  24. Please don't leave your job for any man or marriage. I'm a living witness, I sacrificed all but it didn't work out the way we planned it. Being financially independent is important in marriage o. Don't rush things I beg,take your time to plan your life and involve God in all you do.... Marriage comes with a lot of financial responsibilities. My dear sister watch and pray.....
    My second comment on this blog

  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

  26. Poster 2, you can not compare cost of housing in Lagos and East. This decision is solely yours to make. You can succeed anywhere you are, it all start and end in your mind and will.

    Do you love him enough to take the step of faith? Do you trust yourself enough to start all over again and conquer in the unknown.

    Do whatever that brings you peace.

    Remember marriage is a relationship that requires sacrifice and risk. Good luck

  27. Poster 1:Younglady better get over him. Did you do any covenant with him that is making you cry? Instead you should be angry that all the while both of you were together he lied to you. Love can be a bitch girl. He chose his life and he is doing his time. Choose yours wisely and MOVE ON. No more visits. Find someone and send him a letter that you have moved on.

    Poster 2: Right now with the small salary you can take care of some of your bills which he does not notice. If you choose to resign and be with him then will he bear all of it. Is he ready to handle that? No matter how little the salary is, it have been meeting some of your needs.
    Sit him down and discuss with him. As much as you want to relocate, he should help secure a job for you when he gets a job for you in the East then you can consider relocating for now he should find a job and relocate to your location. If he was earning a reasonable pay then it can be considered.
    Like DoppelgÀnger said even if you relocate to the East he will still be working in the North so it is still the same distance cycle. Let him know your fears and see the brader picture and hear what he has to say.

  28. Poster 1
    Commit a crime and go to jail so that your ponyor will rest.

    Poster 2
    Since he only visit on holiday, tell him to relocate to Lagos since he has no business/work in East. Make him to see reason with you. No matter how small your salary is, it is something. Chetakwa na obu buhari ka na ebuhari naija.

  29. Poster 2 life is a risk. He wants to marry u, so he is the head. Just devote time praying to God to guide u and open doors for you. No go miss ur rib bcos of stubborness. Poor lecturer today will becom rich Professor tomorrow. All power belongs to God.

  30. Poster 2,do you wish to live apart after marriage?seeing how confused you are shows you both are not ready for marriage,its a sacrifice that one of you has to make,since his job is not even where he's moving you to why move in the first place?try to sort this before you get married o!

  31. Poster.....I don't gerrit? What's making you cry.....what's the koko of your tears.....the companionship or sex. Better call yourself to order
    Poster 2.......The only advice I'm going to give you is never leave your job because of a man...unless he's rich enough to be giving your salary every month.....

  32. Poster 2 the only reason u are considering leaving your job in Lagos is because you don hear marriage. Why don't you marry first, then you can now relocate to be with him.
    What if you quit your job, on getting to the East, things takes a different turn and the marriage no longer holds, what will u tell yourself?
    He can't be giving u such ultimatum when he has not put a ring on your finger. Marriage no be beans and requires money to blossom so you guys should be careful with your plans.

  33. Poster.1. Get over the criminal pls
    Poster 2 tell ur man not renew the rent. Don't leave ur job cos of a man cos they are inconsistent, rather let him pay ur rent in lag or u better still look for a bigger apartment, then learn a trade in lagos,

    Your man is selfish. He wants you to move to the East without work BEFORE marriage. Did you ever want to learn sewing? Why should you all of a sudden move to a place were jobs are not readily available for a marriage that has not happened? Someone said man is the head, will your Manager or CEO move his company to a place that has bleak profit outcomes?

    You are comfortable right now and you want to become completely dependent on a man whose salary is quite small. Too many women on this blog have regretted this move. Why do you want to put yourself in a bad position? Whether now or after this marriage, you will be at a distance so why not stay in a place were you have some kind of income?

    Men are notoriously shifty and unreliable. Do not put yourself in a bad situation by yourself sister. Stay in Lagos, learn the sewing (if that is what you want, if not learn something else abeg). Do not curb your dreams for ANY MAN. You will surely regret it.

    When a man asks you to give up your livelihood for him without are setting yourself up for trouble. Ask any truthful woman who has walked this path.

  35. someone that will evaluate you and ask you to learn SEWING does not respect you and wants a stay at home wife who fulfils his desire for an archaic husband-wife dynamic where the woman wears bubu at home, makes fresh soup twice a day and has no voice (partially because you have no money). He could have asked you to look for a job in an office, as a secretary, in a bank, with the government even. Even an administrative role in a University. But he chose sewing. Nothing wrong with being a designer if that's your passion but consider the gender dynamics and history of that. It's also the number 1 thing people suggest for their nannies when they don't want to empower them with education or when they feel the nanny is not smart enough to go to school. He will eventually control your outings, your dressing, your friendships. Like old Maggi adverts. Or Tony Umez movies. Then when he makes money his family will come in and be controlling how he spends on you. Nobody ever considers the effort of housewives or the fact that he is successful because you did all the household stuff. For free.


Disclaimer: Comments And Opinions On Any Part Of This Website Are Opinions Of The Blog Commenters Or Anonymous Persons And They Do Not Represent The Opinion Of

Pictures and culled stories posted on this site are given credit and if a story is yours but credited to the wrong source,Please contact and corrections will be made..

If you have a complaint or a story,Please Contact Via
Mobile Phone +4915210329280