Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Sunday, December 10, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmm......





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED ASAP


Hello Ma'am, greetings to you and yours. Had to send in this chronicle
after much deliberation, moreover I need your red pen and I think the
opinion of fellow BVs will help bring the closure I need. I'll try to
be brief, chastise me but please be lenient.

I'm a 26yr old lady, graduate, working and living with my parents. The
pressure to get married began when I was 24 but I convinced my family
to allow me finish school and earn some money considering how Nigeria
is, but now the pressure has heightened.

Mid-July, I met a 35yr old single dude through a married friend who
invited me to a wedding, we exchanged contacts. This dude had already
told his friend that he's looking for a serious relationship that'll
lead to marriage hence the introduction, well we became friends. He
works on a federal govt. parastatal and was averagely comfortable. We
went on few dates after the close of work, asked necessary questions and
we were satisfied, then we started dating.

Mid-august, he took me to his mum and brothers(dad's late). In my
presence, he told them to start preparing for introduction as he has
found his miss right, His mum gave her blessings.
I work on Saturdays while he doesn't, but I try to squeeze time to be
with him after close of work & on sundays. One weekend, he requested
me to do his laundry & I told him I won't be able to considering my
tight schedule(I work 8am-7pm Mondays - Saturdays). Sundays, I do my
home chores then go to his place to spend the day with him. I told him
we'll find a way around it.

One Saturday night at his place, I soaked his clothes in detergent (it
wasn't much) with the intention of coming the following day to wash
it. Got there the following day(Sunday), he was shocked to see me,
later I found out there was a lady in his apartment. I kept calm,went
to meet her in the kitchen where she was trying to make lunch, I told
her to finish up whatever she was doing and leave. 



My bf came and was pleading with me to calm down, that she's just someone who comes around to do his laundry in order to impress him, because she had
always crushed on him but she's not someone he can settle down with. I
knew it was all I lie and I kept telling him I'm not fooled. Well, the
lady went to the bathroom to wash the clothes I soaked..oh well..,
good riddance, afterall., I need the rest. After washing she left
while my bf carried the clothes to spread on the line then he started
apologizing.


Following day, I started receiving calls from his friends pleading on
his behalf, well I let go and decided to tread carefully. Then he
proposed to meet my parents. I told my dad and he gave his go ahead. The
Sunday he was supposed to come meet them, he developed cold feet and
changed his mind. I let it slide but we had a serious argument and he
said he's yet to make up his mind, moreover his mum felt its too
early, then he wants to take time to know if I'm the right
person...blah blah..


Two weeks ago, I feel ill to the extent I collapsed at the office and
was rushed to the company's hospital for treatment, moreover my period
was a day late. I was scared, the doc advised I come for pregnancy
test the following morning to ascertain the situation which I did. I
tested negative, in the midst of this this, I was carrying him along and
he said if I should get preggy, I'll get rid of it considering the
fact that he's presently broke.


That was the straw that broke the camel's back,I fought him. After
about four days, my period came and I felt relieved. I refused to pick
his calls because from my end, the relationship was over. I became
very ill again to the extent my dad thought I was preggy not until the
doctor told him he has confirmed my status negative. I was admitted and
he was aware. He refused to come visit me at the hospital claiming
anniversary at church.. I was crazy. Our mutual friend that introduced
us came to the hospital to check up on me and he declared his hands off
our relationship that he's not sure my bf is as ready as he initially
claimed. 


He told me to move on and I started preparing to.


The following day at the hospital, he came visiting and I gave him the
cold shoulder. He apologized endlessly and waited till I was discharged
at night. Well, I was given 2days off work to recover and he came to
take me out. We had long talks, he apologized, gave excuses but I told
him I already reconsidering the whole thing. He begged that I should
give him time, that he also doesn't want to get it wrong maritally
that's why it took him this long to settle down.


My dad's birthday was on Sunday and he promised to call him (I already
gave him dad's number when he tried to reschedule a date to come meet
him but dad instructed me never to talk to him about an unserious bf
but ask me to give my bf his mobile number to call him if my bf has
anything to discuss) well, he ended up not calling my dad.


I'm hurt because this is a guy I've made lots of sacrifices for. Many
times I've made dinner for him from my pocket because he was broke,
not to impress him but to support him. (Sometimes he refunds me, other
times he didn't).

In all this, I've let go, trying my best to move on. My mind is
settled and free because the handwriting on the wall clearly points to
his unreadiness. I'm not without flaws too, I'm confident to say I've
worked on myself to a great extent.

My aunt, my mum and my friends already told me to leave him and walk
away for my sanity sake but my heart is fragile. I've decided to be
patient till December ends and weigh his level of commitment.
He's all I want in a man but his attitude speaks volume.
I'm worried I may meet someone worse. Please advice me like a lil sis.
I'll be reading comments.

Million thanks.



*What is there to advise?You want commitment and Marriage and he doesnt...Move on my dear!!!..Waiting until December ends makes no difference,your present boyfriend is the type referred to ask time waster...Before you know it ten years would have passed and he will still be there apologising !!!


64 comments:

  1. Mr 35 wants a maid that will be cooking and washing clothes. Since you are not, he has decided to move on. Please sis, move on and forget about him. Age isn't a measure of maturity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure your boyfriend is from enugu or ebonyi state. They think women are housemaids and shouldn't be treated as such. They take foolishness for obedience. Please move on fast. I hate reading your kinda narrative. "I'm afraid of worse"....what nonsense! If you meet worse, you move on. I can see you have low self esteem. Your confidence level is on the low ebb. Please concentrate on your job and see how you can make the best out of life. And please don't waste your money on any man who you ain't married to. The man doesn't love you. Why he hadn't left you is because you are his meal ticket. He wants to be using you until he stablises and then he would come up with the bombshell that you ain't the one for him. Borrow yourself sense and wait for your own. This man isn't into you. He's a time waster and I hate his type.

      Katty

      Delete
    2. Haaaaa you have turned yourself into a maid. For what? A 35 years old child

      Delete
    3. A fool at 26 is a fool forever. Poster you fall my hand big time! You still haven't learnt from other people's chronicles? Sleeping with a man before marriage as if dat is not enuf, without protection and as if this is not enuf cooking and washing!!!!! You are indeed a big fool.

      Delete
  2. The worst thing that can happen to a woman is to be in a relationship with a guy that is emotionally unavailable. Move on dear, you are feeling like this because you have given him the cookie. God will provide a better man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. #Story of my life.
      Was dating one unavailable Idiot until August.

      Delete
  3. That you consider a man who can't afford to take his cloth to a laundry man or buy a washer, speaks volumes about your expectations. Yet you claim he is everything you want in a man? How please? He is tall, dark and handsome with good stroke game? Or what exactly makes him everything you want in a man.
    I feel sorry for you my darling and that is because you're thinking with your heart instead of your head.
    Snap out of it and let that broke and no good man go.
    A man who loves you won't play with your emotions or is he PHCN going on and off. True love is pure and without doubts, it is honest and without stress.
    Listen to your mother, it would hurt but you'd be grateful for it when you meet the man who would treat you like a queen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The everything I want in a man got
      me 😯.

      Delete
    2. I stopped understanding d chronicle when I heard he asked u to come wash his clothes... as what kwan? Hazhep ni? Wait somebody will wear clothes finish and pick his fone to dial my no. To come and wash dem for him in the name of relationship. Some babes are trying in this relationship tin o. Hmmm... dem never born the kind man That will try that one with me. Broke guys tho. There's no nonsense that will not be heard wen a broke guy is involved.

      Delete
    3. As in, he told you to wash clothes? Has he paid bride price?

      Delete
  4. What really happens to ladies when marriage is mentioned? Do they lose the ability to think?
    this guy never proposed to you?
    Never met your parents?
    Never paid your bride price?
    You are opening legs for him and "getting scared" when you "period is delayed?"
    You are giving him sex and cooking for him . . . why should he rush to marry you; what else is he missing?
    Please ladies, let's learn to be discrete and wise when dating and not jump to give sex, it cheapens us before these brats and they simply chicken out of any marriage discussions.

    Girl, if you ever consider marrying this brat, you are shooting yourself on the foot!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. anonymous to bahd10 December 2017 at 17:34

      May your days be long.

      Delete
    2. Abi o and she even said her heart is fragile. The day ladies know and accept that even if they don't get men to marry them they will still be fulfilled and even MAKE Heaven, that's the day women will have back their respects from men.kilode, waiting till December when all the handwriting is written on the wall, later, women will claim he wasn't like that when they were dating. The fact that you opened ya legs and He entered showed and He hasn't paid bride price shows the kind of man he is. May God open our eyes..

      Delete
  5. Stop lying, you are not "hurt" because you prepared meal for him,
    You are hurt because he ate you raw and refused to marry you.

    Learn to close your legs while dating until the man pays your bride price.

    I don't know what kind of church you folks go to and come home at noon to commit fornication

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. better prick de cloud judgement oh

      Delete
    2. @16:34
      That's it!
      do not receive any "prick" until you make your decision and he pays the bride price
      so that your judgment will not be clouded. Makes sense; doesn't it?

      Delete
    3. This is my motto!

      No Sex, NO foreplay even kiss. The max is lip peck and tight hugs when we see and that way I’ve never gotten my heart broken because I’m able to think straight, see bullshit as they appear and look beyond any pretence.

      Ps: I’m not doing this because I have the idea that no sex would get me the best man ... nope!

      I’m doing this because I read my bible and I try to live my life as righteous as I can, without picking what sin is okay to commit and vice versa. It’s hard o! especially since no porn, masturbating etc but let me tell you something it is totally worth it, as I have peace of mind and the grace of God keeps me going.

      Delete
  6. Poster follow Stellas advice abeg. I no fit shout. 26 or almost 27 now isnt d end of the world
    You can still meet someone this yuletide and marry at 28 and still have your two kids at 30. So dont rush into this bad market.
    A 35year old that is broke is busy looking for wife. He is asking you to do his laundry as what? Did u tell him washing of clothes is your hobby?
    His mates that credit their gfs account with huge sums how many clothes did they wash? See enh before we got a washing machine and even now there is one, I dont and have never washed my hubby's clothes. I only do mine and the kids. The washing of clothes request is even enough for me to have called the relationship off if I were you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear i don't know where this chronicle posters find these kind of men. She's even saying hes everything she wants in a man. Dry cleaner girlfriend.

      Delete
    2. Thank you my dear. Same chronicle but they never learn

      Delete
  7. Thank you Stella. Your red pen said it all

    ReplyDelete
  8. This situation is like Nepa light, always coming and going. Please close your heart, forget him and move on

    ReplyDelete
  9. I just dey laugh you @ poster.
    You dont need a reset, you already know what to do. He's fooling around with you

    ReplyDelete
  10. When a man that really loves you comes, you wount beg him to call your dad, he will be the one beging for his number so move on and forget about him.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Don't be a fool my dear!
    Don't be another TM, learn.
    December will soon end.
    Don't make urself a laughing stock, ur dad has warned you.
    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dat girl u told to hurry up and leave,that washed his clothes for him and made lunch...thats d maid he wants to marry...pls leave him

    ReplyDelete
  13. "...because from my end, the relationship was over". I did not make that up, I read it somewhere in your Chronicle. So, I'm wondering what other advice you seek of us.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Your last paragraph where you said "He is all you want in a man but his attitude"....is what totally got me shocked. You cannot even define what you expect your man to look and act like. Why are you complaining if your definition of a man is his body, his dick and feeling he is God's gift to women. A man is defined his commitment to his words, his sense of responsibility, his words should be his bond and ability to lead,protect and take charge of any situation that may affect his relationship and the person he is in a relationship with. What you have is a boy who is confused and looking for a laundry girl, a house girl and a free pussy to service. And I hate to tell you that you are seriously pursuing a master's degree in stupidity. Even the person that introduced you had washed his hands off and you still here asking us what next to do. The guy cannot even keep his apartment clean and take care of his laundry. Am a man and I can tell the first insult to a lady is asking her to do your house chores for you. As a bachelor I made sure my house was always clean. A signal to any girlfriend that you should be ready to be clean or else no way am I having a relationship with you. Cooking has to be done together with my girlfriend when I was dating. It's part of the bounding for me just that you know I can cook and I don't need a cook or house girl. Trust me A lot of romantic talks happens in the kitchen while cooking with your girlfriend. I need a companion who will come and complete me. My advice is you dump him asap and he is so disrespectful to your father now so what happens when you marry such a confused man. He will feel he did your father a favor by marrying his daughter. A guy who is always disappearing when it's time to rise up and take charge as a man is a boy in diapers and the only thing they are good at is throwing tantrums and blaming everyone for their mistakes.

    # come back and thank me later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For me, that was the height! How can a prospective husband ask for your father's number, you gave him, he is aware your father was expecting his call and he refused to call. And you are making excuses for him.
      My dear, if he has no regard for your family, he'll use you to clean his ass. You have no business being with such man at your age. If he wasn't ready, he shouldn't have asked you for your father's number in the first place.

      Delete
    2. Whaooo nice this is indeed nice advice I love this is also speak to me just am 😕 because my man as meet with my family but this money issue is dealing things

      Delete
    3. Reading your comment, I have someone in my head though been a long time we spoke, are you T?

      Delete
  15. Na wa. It is well. Long story and short advice I will give. God will provide another man who will not deny you when you refused to close legs.

    My dear sew it so that your new man can come and don't be fast to give sex

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thats how my new boyfriend expected me to cook for him. What happened to ordering chinese or getting some kebab... Now hes forming busy with micro penis😕

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder why men with micro penis are so proud . it feel good to be finally hocked. What ladies go tro b4 they find mr right is something else

      Delete
    2. small or big, as long as it gets erect & gives pleasure to the owner, its somthing to be proud of, do u knw wat erectile dysfuction does to mans ego?

      Delete
  17. with all these uselessness we have as men roaming the street as a 26 year old lady myself I am sick and have decided to chanel my energy towards my career. Imagine a 35year old senseless man using another woman to rub you in the face that if u dont do his laundry and become househelp other women are willing too, chai women have suffered oh, that is how i met one a 36 year old man i ask him at the early stage of conversation what he wants the guy was talking his woman should be able to support him financially abi is it not money he is using to call me of which he did only once during the period we conversed, i realized the effontery men have comes from our desperacy as women, girls go to his house cook for him, clean for him and what not so why wouldnt he be filling entitled at 36, smhh, my dear bless your stars you did not fall pregnant for that one chance bus to no where. Sometimes it takes writing out things to see how riduculous a situation is, at least now you can see and read ur own type up aloud,why would u say u are scared of not getting anything better, do you really think tis is the best you deserve?! my dear know the daughter of whom you are, your a Queen the daughter of a king treat yourself like one, its not pride its embracing ur identity and never stupping for anytin less.Bless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow u are making good sense. I love the people here

      Delete
  18. Some ladies really baffle me, you can see the hand writing on the wall crystal clear yet because of desperation you still stay in such relationships, I hope you know marriage is forever, you better use your head and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  19. 35 and he has not made his mind yet, dat one Is a Time waster, I am 30 and I have 2kids. You are the one that gave him free sex na, when I was dating, my wife gave me sex the first one year, after that she stopped and told me to put a ring on it if I want to taste it again and the kpekus too sweet. I had to marry her fast, he has tasted what we married men enjoy so now he is confused. That guy is a king of Time Wasters TW

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So had it been for the sex you wouldn’t have married her fast. Also your wife giving you sex for the first one year. Ummmm how about she closed her legs but that’s not my business but you don’t have any point that’s all I’m saying .

      Delete
  20. Women have seen sha oh, thats how i met a 34 year old man me been a 26 year old lady i was quite uncomfortable with the age gap but decided to be open, I asked him in the early stage of our conversation what he wants, guy starts to talk "he wants a woman that can support him financially when he needs it abi is it not credit he is using to call"Hian!! Ive decided to chanel my energy into my career, then here we have a 35year old who is even rubbing it in ur face by bringing another lady to his house to do his chores,but do i blame him women with our desperacy doing osho free give these men a sense of entitlement.Why would u think you wont get someone better?! Do even know the daughter of whom you are?! your a Queen the daughter of a King. Its not pride its coming to terms with your identity and embracing it.Bless.

    ReplyDelete
  21. He is broke and unserious, Poster don't force an unserious man to marry you.

    Pls end the relationship so that someone good who appreciates you can come your way.

    He is just a time waster please don't waste your precious December with him so that you can notice the responsible guys God might be bringing your way this festive season.

    LEP😛

    ReplyDelete
  22. At 35yrs he's broke, indecisive and even still a player and yet he's "all you want in a man"??
    My dear, please change your orientation before it's too late. The earlier you snap out of this ASAP the better for you. If he can care less about you now then imagine what will happen when you are fully his. Please flee from him like yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
  23. My dear,believe me,to pull out of this sorry relationship will be hell for you but trust me it will be worse than hell if he calls it quits with you b4 u do. Forget him totally. From ur words,he is not worth it. If he is the one for you,taking this decision won't make u lose him. instead,it will straighten him and he will crawl back begging but if not,good riddance cos u wud have moved on. Please do the right thing sister. I'm begging you for your own good and sanity. You will be surprised at who is out there waiting for u.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Please move on....You can do it.You deserve better. Trust me there are good guys out there.Once you dont reek of desperation they will surely come.Pele shogbo. Kisses

    ReplyDelete
  25. Deep down in your heart , you know the truth. I think you are just scared of being alone and starting again. My dear do you think you can't do better for your self.. Please move on

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How can She move on at 20something?Is not that easy i beg..

      Delete
    2. She should move on fast cos there's someone better than him out there, he even told her to abort if she was preggy, so he enjoys it without protection but has refused to take responsibility,inukwa broke a cheat with cold feet, and not even into her. Professional TW

      Delete
    3. Did you say 20something?
      Okay, if she doesn't want to move on, let her move backwards and open legs again and collect penis and write another chronicle.

      Delete
  26. Move on dear, ain't we already in December. It's Xmas and love is always in the air. Be open minded, hang out more, take a leave, have fun with your girls, family etc. You'd be surprised love will find you. This guy is bad news, apparently he wants a servant who will be doing his chores, and to add to that he has a side chic who does all that for him, doesn't he have hands, he really expects you to handwash his clothes, is he a last born or spoilt child, can't he get a washing machine, I can't deal mehn. Guy just wants to get all the perks of having a wife, without committing and news flash from all you have said; he's not even that into you. Move the hell on.

    ReplyDelete
  27. #It's hard to cut off toxic relationships but having the courage to do so, is truly life changing.

    Whatever is making you to deliberate staying, you’ll find in someone else, and they won’t bring you the extra added unhappiness*

    ReplyDelete
  28. To think that a guy, old boy that can't afford an ordinary washing machine is the one doing you anyhow like this & you are claiming love & fragile heart? Nne you go SUFFER O, this broke ass cheat is giving you disgrace like dis & you don't want to add little value to yourself all bcos u wanna have d Mrs title ? Orikwor egwu.
    Dump his sorry broke ass & move on, a better guy with money & well behaved will come your way,not the one that will force you to wash his cloths, he seems like a local guy having local chicks flocking around to impress him & I'm sorry to say but you are one of the local chicks. better receive sense.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Move on please. Note that he's going to come back and beg. They always do, but don't ever go back. I did the same with my ex. Same kind of guy u described above. I borrowed my self brain and moved on. Guess what? Barely a year later, I met my husband, he would worships the ground I stand on, and we're expecting our first child now. Please, listen to me and be strong for yourself. Do this for yourself. You have only one life to live. What this guy is showing you is a prototype of what will happen if he eventually decided to share marry you. I really relate with this story, that y I took my time to type. I was about ur age then too. I understand the pressure and know how hard it is to let go. Another advice from me to u as blog sisters: the next relationship you enter, don't have sex with the person. Hold on to that cookie and trust God to perfect all that concerns you. I hope you make the right decision. Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  30. Poster you need hot e-slap,what do you want us to tell you again? You better run for your life before this guy kills you. The heavy signs is everywhere, let him go someone better than him will come your way.

    ReplyDelete
  31. He doesn't want to marry you. What are you waiting for?
    He's told you as much with his actions. Anyone serious about marrying you wouldn't tell you to get an abortion if you got pregnant, and also wouldn't flake out on meeting your father.
    Your father has told you and your aunts too.
    Why are you acting like a block head?

    And STOP HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX WITH HIM. For all you know those illness symptoms you have are an early symptom of HIV. He allows other women into his house and his kitchen while he think's you're away, believe me he allows these same women on his penis too.

    Why don't you value yourself enough to walk away at the first sign on nonsense? The day you met that other woman in his house, you should have picked up your things and walked out. This man doesn't respect you and he doesn't want to marry you. Stop wasting your time, move on

    ReplyDelete
  32. You people are leaving out the side of the story where he said she must abort if she gets pregnant. What rubbish!! You don't need bvs to tell you this person doesn't want anything good for you. He is bad news. And you where are your morals? Giving yourself to a man who doesn't even respect you all coz you don't even respect yourself. Like a bv said up there, dump him fast before he dumps you because it'll be more painful for you if he does it first. Reevaluate your life and surrender to the one who made you and knows what's best for you otherwise you'll fall back into this same cycle - with another man.

    ReplyDelete
  33. You even have your family standing by you and you are still asking question.

    ReplyDelete

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