Stella Dimoko Uber Chronicles


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Monday, January 15, 2018

Uber Chronicles

Compliments of the Season and Happy New year folks!!!! 
It's sure been a while I graced your screens but am back!!!.. for a bit though *sniggers*

Ladies! Ladies!! Ladies!!! I have said it here several times and I will repeat it again! Always try to "SMELL" nice!!! Jeez! I can't have my bath (errr pardon me I have to rush out for the day  but definitely I will use Deo and perfumes and you a lady will come in smelling like goat meat with body Odour! Please this is 2018! Deodorant is cheap!

Hmmmmn! This life is just funny and I urge you to be very cautious, because you never know who you will meet or end up with!... I remember when I started this job and my ex was in full support but things went south and before you know what, she started insulting me in ways I couldn't fathom! Although I went Nuke on her also! We parted ways eventually!....

Then one day I get a request, going to the Island and who do I pick? Her Elder Sister! 

note: I never met her, but from my ex's Instagram pictures, I recognized her immediately!.. Hmmn! My evil side and my angelic side started to play!, should I just drive to 3rd mainland bridge and feign my car has issues, making us come down together and I rush into the car and zoom off? Or should I just start driving at the speed of 35km making the journey longer and increasing my money??...

naaaa! Am an Angel! I just let go let God! I delivered her safely to the waiting arms of her Mother!... I was friendly all through the journey and never mentioned a word of my Ex! So people be careful!

Why are people so petty at times? Ok u are heading to Onikan for the Experience, I pick you up and am nice all the way! Even when you trying so hard to piss me off, I still tried to remain calm! Even with all the traffic and all (All for stupid ratings! ) now we have gotten to the 'experience'grounds the trip refused to end! because of network issues! you made me enter the 'vip' parking lot with no intention of paying and at the same time you are pressuring me to end the trip! Errrm excuse me woman! It's not my fault! And the next thing she says 'since you can't end the trip let me pay 1k' ehn u say? Oh my people I lost it! How on earth can you pay 1k for that journey with the traffic? I told her sorry not possible! She eventually paid 2k and said if it less than she would report me and I have to refund! TouchΓ© lady!

Eventually it was 1600! I was shocked at the stupid pricing and the app!, so lady calls me the next day, and says I should transfer her 400, I told her in the most polite manner, that please let me send you recharge card worth 400naira because if I transfer 400 to you I will get extra charges! And I will be at the loosing end!, she says she has lots of credit on her phone and doesn't need rchrg card! Am like huh?? My people She kept pestering me with calls to transfer 400 and I kept declining because I will be at the loosing end! Well she eventually gave up! And didn't even get the card eventually! LOL!!!

That's all for now! Till I come again next time!... Remember! Be good to Drivers at all times and if you are good and the driver is an Ass, then my dear, that guy is possessed!.. God Bless y'all

*You sef,e dey your body!!!


  1. I thought you had a customer with a B O.

    1. Some ladies can stink as if they don’t know how to buy roll on

  2. Yas baby! Welcome back baiby πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‰#Sideeye

  3. Abeggi, na drivers smell pass. Don't try using uber from like 5am especially on saturday morning. After all their carrying riders from club to club throughout the night, they won't respect their selves and bath before starting another day.

    1. Drivers who understood and maintain appreciable level of hygiene are very good at their work while some are just release from shrine most especially the drunkard ones. 

      You will start perceiving odours like 
      Alomo + Tobacco ‎
      1960 + Codeine 
      Hangover drivers are worst!

      Just be save and shine your eyes, gbam!


  4. I boarded one to oriental hotel from obalende, d uber guys was so annoying, he knew his tires are bad nd kept driving slowly. Omg I shout tire for e head eeh.

    1. Lolll that one was good.

      I took an uber from Ikoyi to Ayobo, guess what? No AC!!!! Na so pesin sweat like Christmas cow.

      Driver confidently claimed that his mechanic said the AC is not repairable!!!! Lmaoo the amount of bastard drivers UBER has hired sha, I hope they don't sink the company eventually.

    2. Leave story.

      I'm sure his tires were good.

      Just driving like he's carrying dead bodies so that the fare will increase. That's what they all do.

  5. Where is the body odour part cause I was waiting to read about a passenger of your's with body odour. God bless your hustle

  6. This guy sef, hahaha where the body odour gist nah?

  7. This narrator sounds like Aloy wheel


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