Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative


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Saturday, February 10, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative



Good day

,I trust your day is going great,I want to talk to someone ,but am friendless,truth be told I don't even want friends, am broken and bitter,I act tough and happy,but deep down am sad,very sad,am bitter and angry,very angry.

I feel used,both physically emotionally, psychology and even spiritually, I feel betrayed I feel empty.

I told him I forgave him because i thought I did,and maybe because its the "christianly" thing to do,but I don't, I won't say I hate him, but I have not been able to forgive him, I have so much bitterness,anger and jealousy towards him,he continued with his life like nothing happened, while am stuck here raising his child with the stipends he sends,he drives a big car round town living the life like nothing happened, while am saddled with my child my life on hold Cause I can't bear to be selfish and leave my child with My mum and move on with my life...

I love my child so much I can't bear to be away from her for even a day,but am unhappy with how things turned out.I never planned to be a single mother, what do I tell my child? How long do I tell lies(I lie am married,I lie my husband is abroad) just to cover the shame of being a single mother.

You see i live alone with my daughter because I just couldn't stay with my mum in same neighborhood I grew up in,I left home immediately after I graduated, went to Lagos,got a job, was in a solid relationship, got engaged fixed a date for my wedding few months to my wedding got pregnant, lost my job(was always sick Cus of pregnancy)had issues with fiance,mum asked that I come home so she can take care of me,relocated home and suddenly fiance realised his family was against our marriage and wedding was cancelled, I was already 4months gone.

story of my life.

And so here I am crying and wishing things were different,wishing my child was going to grow up in a home were both parents are together like I did,and knowing its not possible,
Am crying CU's there is so much emptiness inside me,so much bitterness, so much anger!

I don't have friends,sincerely I don't want any,they sympathize with you then behind your back,they mock you,hence this e-mail, what do I want you to do about this ?nothing I just needed to pour my feelings out,am tired of being strong, am tired of pretending am fine,am tired of doing everything for myself, I didn't bargain for this,the ladies happily married and giving birth in their husbands houses,happy and loved don't have two heads,why does my life have to be different,why do things always turn out wrongly for me,am a graduate,i was working with a multinational company, sending upkeep for my widowed mum every month, paying my own bills,then this bastard came and ruined my life,now am in one remote area that can pass for a village hiding in shame,because I don't know how to frigging live this life,my love for my child is what is keeping me alive till date,I hate how my life turned out,am not seeing any silver lining ,am tired

....thanks for reading

*Babe you too can heal and move on like nothing happened if you allow your heart find closure.....

You have something awesome with you...YOUR CHILD!!!

There is no big deal in what happened to you,stop hiding babe,coming out is the first step to healing..ISH happens!.
I am sure some people will share their stories with you and you will find out that this stage you are in is not a big deal,the big deal is allowing yourself drown..

Get up and for yourself!!


  1. I personally don't understand how people sleep around without protection and expect not to be pregnant. Are you a spirit?

    Once a man mention marriage Nigerian ladies lost their sense completely and become like a TV controlled by a remote control.

    More reasons why men and women aren't the same. One is free like a bird while the other is tamed. Meanwhile both engaged in the act.

    Only the wise can get wiser.

    1. Itibolibo,did yu even read this chronicle at all? Smh

    2. Just read the rubbish u typed, the guy was getting married to her, a lot of girls sleep with their boyfriends without protection talkles of fiance, please don't be stupid in 2018

    3. @Eka Joy:

      How I'm judging. The fact you don't admit it does not change the fact I stated up there.

      Please you need to learn the difference between common sense and judgement.

    4. pray not to be in this kind of situation bcoz people like you are the worst. Poster take hrt. this too shall pass.

    5. Don't Judge

    6. If you've got nothing to say please seal it. Haba!

    7. You are quite insensitive, while u tried to make ur point I need you to go over what you wrote up there. Ask yourself have I helped and what was the essence of writing it. You could have tried to advice the poster first and maybe add what you wrote up there, then it could have made sense. Always put your shoes in the position of the narrator c if what u have written is a fair in the circumstances.

    8. I'm sure if you were pregnant and sick AFTER MARRIAGE you wouldn't have been sacked. Close your legs you won't hear. When Blackberry's friend aka ABORTION TALK EXPERT starts to rant you all will be offended.

    9. Let him send his side of the story to be sure you were actually planning marriage and not that you tried to hook him to marry you. How will you guys set a date without family consent? Didn't you ever visit his people? How did they receive you?

    10. @african. Shut the f up with your self righteous attiatti. Dumbasses like you is why the babe is hiding. If ypu have nothing to say. Take seceral seats biko. Dumbasses bitch. My dear....beibf a single mother is not the end of the world. Trust me I know. Ur life doesn't end. I was a singsi mother. Infact I thinktmy child motivated me to aim a higher sef. I always knew I wanted to be a lawyer and aim knew I had to get over the stereotype.sIIwent on and graduated with a law degree. Got my masters. My daughter is 15 now. We look like sisters now. I still married again with two kids. Its not all roses o don't get me wrong but sitting down and feeling sorry for yourself babes won't help you. You sound bitter and I honestly just want to give u a hug. My dear u have life. U have a child who makes u smile. Shes your hope. Let success be your revenge. Don't base your happiness on anyone. Get up, dust yourself up and be happy.

    11. I think you should stay with your mom for a while till you heal. Request for a bigger child support. When you settle and your child is a bit grown, get a job. Your life isn't over

  2. So because you're a single mother, you think your life has no meaning again? My dear, get yourself together and find something doing, you can go and drop your child with your mother now pending the time you will be financially stable. Mind you, my late uncle married a single mother of two, so don't write yourself off, package yourself very well, look good and happy and your own man will find you. With your situation of things, if care is not taken, you will soon be suicidal (God forbid). I've never seen your kind o, omo bibi kii sarun now (giving birth is not a disease)

    *Larry was here*

    1. Total forgiveness is the first step to healing. Life goes on.Dont write your self off cos GOD is still GOD and believe that your tomorrow will be better than today,but only if you change the attitude of the way you are feeling now.

    2. Sweetie, why are you being so hard on yourself. FACT: Life is never what we plan.
      What if you got married to him and became widowed a week later. You'd still be a single mom Right? Then what would you do? Who would you blame?
      Truth be told you are judging yourself much too hard.
      And it's preventing you from making progress with your life.
      Move out from that remote area you are staying.
      Admit to everyone that you are a single mom. Own it. Hence, removing the shame and the back talk.
      Ask your child's father to help with child support so the stress load will be lighter.
      On daily basis find 10 things to be grateful to God for.
      Go out and try to socialize with both male n female friends. Don't isolate yourself anymore.
      Move close to your Mom so she can babysit when you go out.
      Find a more mentally and financially rewarding job.
      Life isn't over. You have a beautiful child. Make lemonade out of this sour lemon you have been dealt.
      God has something/someone special for you. But, you need to let go of the anger, hatred, regret, sadness, bitterness and leave room for God's blessing, grace, joy, happiness in your heart.
      It is well darling.
      Start LIVING from this moment forward.

  3. I understand how you feel because i know how it feel. I was once married and after a year and some month it crashed living me with my daughter. I was bitter and hatred myself for it but along the line i made up my mind to forgive him every day and talk about it which helped my healing process. Its over four years now and i am happy and my daughter is beautifully happy. You are stronger than what you think and you have something to live and be happy for which is your child. Be proud of who you are and been a single mum is never a sin.
    Get up,stay strong,keep smiling and enjoy been a super mum.
    God bless and strengthen you dear.

    1. If you keep holding on to what this guy did to you, you won't pass this level. It's not easy to forgive, but let it go .there must be something good in him leaving you if you search deeply - if you find, then hold on to that and be grateful for that. That will help you move on and work towards a good life for you and your baby. E-hugs

  4. People who 'mock" you do so because you lie about your situation.
    Why lie that you are married when you are Not? Why lie your husband is abroad when you k ow it's not true?

    You have to come to terms with the current situation of yoir life and learn to deal with it. You have your child. That's a plus for you.

    Forget about your ex and move on.

    1. Lying about your status will also chase potential suitors away. Or you end up starting a relationship based on lies that will blow in your face.

  5. Sweetheart first of all you are doing an amazing please don't beat yourself up anymore. Don't you think you have cried enough. Please for the sake of your child and for your self too get back up. Life knocks us down in different ways just don't stay down. If your mum would agree leave the child with her for the meantime and go back n find a job. The best revenge is success. You have a beautiful daughter determine to be her role model and don't give up on yourself or life. Please don't allow him throw the last punch. Dust yourself up roll up your sleeve and get back to being the best version of yourself. There's no shame to being a single mother. Forget what anyone would say you are better than alot of wives living in homes saddled with dm yet too ashamed to leave. Love you girl. E-hugs

    1. Which job is this one talking about? Didn't you read that she lost her job???😳 So you are justifying having children outside wedlock abi.

  6. Get a job. Start applying . You need as little spare time as possible to brood. I know your type. You try to be good but always lose out. You have forget about being good and think about you. If u survive ur child survives. If you thrive she thrives. Don't let your star dull baby girl. If u have to leave her with your mum for a time period to find your feet, Do it. No shame dear. Pursue success relentlessly.

  7. Ps am looking forward to reading your chronicle again. Ok. Come n back and tell us how superb you did for yourselves n ur girl and am sure someone will be encouraged. Lots of love honey. Superwoman

  8. Sweetheart, giving you a hug from dear, please just do your the favour of living above your past.what happened and you should be thankful to God for your precious daughter. No child is a mistake but all gifts from God.I advised you see a psychologist or psychiatrist. Please,give meaning to your life again by getting yourself something doing. Make yourself proud of you again, ur daughter n mum too.

  9. Na wa ooooo..... I think you're giving yourself more problem than people!!!

    First, you have to accept your reality, accepting it will help you face it and deal with it. Why lie? ?Why say you're married when you're not?? Why do you think being a single Mum is the end of the world?? Yes, the 'Mistake' has already been made but children are God's heritage, embrace your child, she's your reality, focus on giving her the best and watch things turn out for you.... It may seem difficult and ofcourse there will be tears and pain but just keep holding on to God, don't hold on to any pain or wish him evil, as long as you didn't offend him, nature will judge him

    YOU are the only one who has the right to make You happy or sad, don't give your Ex or the devil the chance to manipulate you with your situation... Look on the bright side, you have a child, a beautiful gift from God.... Embrace your reality and live it my dear!!!

  10. I happy you have job experience, please start applying for jobs and prepare for interviews.

  11. Na wa. Please single mum is not a death sentence. You should be happy you have someone that similes to you, laugh and make fun. Calls you Yayayaya and that is your child your joy.

    What you need is a job and please believe in yourself because you will get it.

    It is well. I hope you are not among those anonymous that won't let me drink my tea in piece.

    Please love yourself because no one can love you if you don't tell yourself I love you but God loves me best.

    Let's talk on Monday and click my id

    1. Correct reply? Me dey look for pikin n marriage i still dey believe God? God give you on a platter of Gold you dey complain? You know how many times I don cry or see children wen I go tell God d day he go remember me. I dey even dey pray make I get belle not marriage again? Abeg thank God

  12. Dear poster I feel your pain in my guts and I can perceive your hurt right in my chest and you are not wrong for feeling this way but the problem is letting it linger. What are we going to do? Dear first step to getting out of this is forgive yourself, forgive him. I am not saying its easy that would be a big lie but you must forgive the 2 persons I mentioned up there u and him. Sometimes we do not choose the coarse of our lives and its unfortunate. U have to be strong for your child and firstly for u. Right now its looking more impossible and likely that anything good and come out of this whole situation but what I have learnt in my 32 years of age on earth is that anything is possible as long as u do not give up. Stop being ashamed and shutting yourself out from the world believe me that is why this is hurting this much and take more time to get better. In life people must talk sad as it is hmmm people will are and will be brutal to ur circumstances. What will you do turn this around. Stop losing, come out and face ur fears by relocating back to the town or with your mum. When something happens tongues wags but only for a while until something else happens and attention will shift. Turn ur lemons into lemonade take Bisola of Big Brother Nigeria for instance I know u know her. She is a single mother and I can list many successful, beautiful and name making women who are in d same shoes. What did they do differently they never let people shaming them or what the world would say ruin them. They faced their fears head on. Are u scared u won’t find a man who would love u, that’s an epic lie. There are men who would love u and accept u and u can still have a happily there after. If he left u it wasn’t meant to be and in the future u will get to look back and understand why. Leave that bush where u are hiding get ur certificate and look for a job to take care of u and ur baby. U are crying cos u think a man ruined u by getting u pregnant do u know how many people wish they have children in exchange for what u call shame. It will be well with you again only if u believe it will.

  13. I won't say I know how you feel cos I don't. I'm here to encourage you that you're not alone.
    Mistakes have been made don't go beating yourself about it, rather while picking yourself up also pick a lesson or two from it and use them to move above your challenges.
    My advice to you is for you to stop compounding your problems with lies. Lying has a way of making you tell more lies to cover lies. Channel your pains to something positive and start by being truthful to yourself and people around you, not like you owe anyone an explanation but then you don't owe them lies either.
    Forgive your ex, forgive his family, forgive yourself and love yourself dear.
    You're no ultra woman so your emotions/outburst is only natural, just try to take one day at a time. Lines will fall in pleasant places for you. Every disappointment is a blessing in disguise. Your daughter should be your priority now.

  14. Babe don't wallow in self pity, don't let any bastard to shake up your self esteem, you said it yourself, you said he is crusing around and enjoying himself without giving a duck if you exist or not, so why would you allow somebody that doesn't give a fuck about you and your child DETERMINE how you will live your life? Why are you so ashame to come outside and enjoy yourself to the fullest? Why did you think that being a single mother is the worst thing that could have ever happen to you? Why are you not PROUD of yourself and your child? Tell me why did you have to go and hide in one Godforsaken village because of that bastard? If you can answer all this question you will see that you have been the one denying yourself of all the joy, peace, rest of mind and the of LIFE itself!!! Babe look at yourself in the mirror and see the beautiful lady that is waiting to be unveil, nobody want to be a single mother, we all want the HAPPY EVER AFTER, but life has a way of giving us lemon... All we have to do is make a lemonade out of it. I know is not easy, trust me their are a lot of people facing what you are going through, even worse situation than yourself but their are determined not to let the situation bring them down. If you can't forgive him fine... Forgiveness is not easy it takes the Holy Spirit in us to do that, but don't let him do this to you, pick yourself up, come out of your shell, look for a job, thank God you said you are a graduate... Wear good clothes, make up, train yourself and your child, look fabulous, let him see you and REGRET the day he said you are not a good CHOICE for dear, let him REGRET his decision whenever he look at you, show him, show yourself that you are STRONGER than the bitterness, anger, self-pity etc in you. Nobody will make things better for you, unless you come to realize that everything that happened is in the PAST... And you are now entering into a new one with your child, until you realize that my dear... I will say this again, being a SINGLE mother is not a CRIME! It is not a CRIME! It is not a SIN! It is not your FAULT! I hope you give yourself brain and use one or two advice that is here. I don't know you but I already love you... Just Believe in yourself... Kisses

  15. Sweetheart be grateful for who you are and what you breaks one but don't remain broken love you loads

  16. I encourage you to be strong but I still have one BAD news for you; He will still marry another lady and that means more pain.
    I will not cease to tell my fellow ladies on this blog to close legs until bride price is paid; that is marriage, that is when you feel married.
    Now, see who lost her job, her joy, her self esteem?,
    Who is angry single mom?
    Who is stuck and who has moved on "as if nothing happened"?
    Who is saddles with unforgiveness?
    Who is bitter and went through the hassles of pregnancy unsupported emotionally?
    Who has gone from plenty to zero?
    Who is ashamed and regarded as "hoe" by judgmental lots?
    Whose life was at stake during labor?
    This list of "woes" is endless . . .

    But lady, this is time of sober reflection. I will encourage you to meditate on Romans chapter 12
    Read it over and over especially the last four verses. With time, you will find solace in your creator and find a better life in him.

    1. @anon 16:43 ,You just made Christianity look like everything it is not. You need to find Christ. You are what I call “lost at home “. I do not know who you are but I will pray for you. @ poster, please forgive yourself because God has forgiven you. No one is perfect but the good news is Jesus loves us Inspite of our imperfections . Pick yourself us, embrace God , be Positive!

  17. My dear I'm giving a big hug n lots of love from
    Please I beg u don't feel this way ur daughter should be ur muse even in marriage ur child is still ur muse not ur husband or any one else
    Marriage isn't always a bed of roses maybe this is God"s plan to give u a fantastic man
    Don't lose hope okay n please try and be strong for ur daughter n learn to forgive him it wouldn't be easy but forgive him, stop lying about ur status too the mr right might be near by

  18. ". .. .he continued with his life like nothing happened, while am stuck here raising his child with the stipends he sends . . ."

    This is why I always tell ladies not to have sex till you are married. You always have the shorter end of the stick.

    1 Peter 3:9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

    Did you see the promise there; SO THAT YOU MAY INHERIT A BLESSING?
    If you do not forgive him, your inheritance will be cursed. God is opening his arms to you to come in and find solace in Jesus who died for you. He loves you in spite of the mistakes you've made and wants to set your life right. But you must forgive.

  19. Princess Scheherazade10 February 2018 at 16:55

    Leave your child with your mum for a while, go back to Lagos and hustle again... job or business whatever. Just go and hustle.
    You need to let go of the bitterness you feel for your ex but you'll find it easier to do so when you're thriving and doing well generally.
    You are not a failure, you just made some mistakes and I think they'll be easy to correct.

    Also. No man is an island. Let go of those self limiting thoughts and revel in a true friendship. Honestly speaking, people are so consumed with trying to survive nowadays that they're not even thinking about your flaws.

    Forgive yourself and move on. You can do it.
    You will do it. God help you.

  20. Hello, I am a single parent to an amazing 9year old, I would want to say that on some day it feels like you are gliding in the sky and some days it could be simply exhausting . But one thing you must know and understand is Happy you equals happy baby. Rule 1: you need to let go and focus on your future and that of your child, so that child isn’t raised with anger and bitterness, time heals all wounds and with time, you won’t feel the pain of the past. It’s not the end of the world but the beginning of something beautiful between your child and you. Get up and trust God, get to work so you can at least give your child a life that would be proud of years down the line. God has got you covered.

  21. Wow!!!!poster dear,u r not alone oo,am a single mum as well,its not been easy at mum is not healthy enough to be with my two yr old daughter alone,I work in a federal hospital in lag,I leave them both at home by 6am with a phone (just in case)come back 6pm...start chores,cook and do other things. Buh God has been ever faithful even though we haven't been paid for 4months now,no money for daycare still here and my kid as well.just relax babe God has got our backs so no shaking.. ..we go dey alright

    1. Federal hospital and you are not paid for 4 months? Is there something wrong with your employment status cos that IS NOT normal

  22. Seriously at first I thought it was one serious matter. Poster people have seen worse. Thank God you are a graduate. Try getting a Job,Stop making excuses for your failure. Try to be a better person and make your daughter and mother happy and proud. When your daughter is grown,tell her the truth. Abeg life is too short jare!

  23. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens are born a conqueror do not let this challenge pull you down above all quit lying to people about your current don't need to impress anyone you only need to please God...all will be well.

  24. need complaining. you should thank God for a lot of things. pregnant is a miracle for TTC couples. You delivered your baby safely. You are not divorced. You are not in an abusive marriage. Your ex and his family are not dragging your daughter with you. You and your daughter are healthy. My dear you look like some one that cares about gossip and what people say about you. That's a major flaw. Dont look back with regrets but look forward with hope and strength.

  25. Poster, see this stage of your life as a stepping stone and not a stumbling block. Tell your self daily, I will make it. Remember, a lot of ladies were single mom's but they are doing great today but it depends on how you manage the situation. Eg of the celebrities _ Lizzy ( we read her story on SDK) ,Ireti Doyle just to mention a few.
    Sit and write down your plan. You can ask the guy to give substantial amount to enable you start something reasonable. He has to establish you and not just giving you stipends. Then, revenge him by becoming super rich and successful.
    Don't keep your head down again. Your much more than that. Also, pray and ask God for His help. You will smile again sweets.

  26. HEALTHY IKPUH REVAMPED10 February 2018 at 18:22

    I know how empty and utterly devastated you might be, but I want to you to look beyond your 'blight present' and look forward to the bright future.

    I have been in your shoes before but after the healing process,GOD sent a perfect German man my way and my ex depends on us for his daily bread. How ironic!

    I can pay for you to see a therapist and when you are ready to date again, i will hook you up to a nice German Mann.
    Gott beschütze dich und ich wünsche dir ein schönes Wochenende!
    Please respond under my comment if you are interested and how I can reach out to you.

    Tausend Dank!

    1. This comment 👆 up here is everything, poster contact her ASAP, God bless you, Healthy Ikpuh Revamped.

  27. Awwww you are stronger than you know.

  28. Babygirl you need to stop the bitterness.

    Some peoole are dying to have a child and you got a child just like that. Start looking at the things you have and not the things you dont have.

    I am a single mum to my 4 year old son and i went through worse than what you faced. They walked me out of their house that they dont want anything to do with me or my son. This is a man i loved with all my being.

    I went home to my family and lost it i was nearly sectioned into yaba. Lucky for me 2 weeks after i left naija to the abroad. I got a job a month later my dream job which was in the same line as my master. I have been in that job for 2 years and been promoted twice in 2 years with bigger pay. I am gladly looking after my son and i dont even remember his dad or the past.

    God has been with me and helping me even in pregnancy. Why should i cry or think. I am over my ex and bitterness because God is with me. I have zero emotions for him or his family.

    There will be better days ahead i promise. You will laugh again. If you are thinking no man wants you issa lie o na me dey do shakara because they say once bitter twice shy o. I am waiting on God to send the right man and it will happen and i will send my story to stella because of you just to encorage you.

    If you need a friend and want to talk i am avail to encorage you and be your friend. Please drop your contact and i will reach out.

    Happy single mum

  29. Hello my dear name is Tonia. Your pain originates from your heart and connects to your mind. It is painful and heartbreaking being in that position and having a set of adoring eyes look at you everyday. A constant reminder of that pain. Girl, let me break it down for you in fewer words.
    1. Forgive yourself
    2. Expunge the bitterness and anger. It is cancerous to your soul and well being.
    3. Forgive the man and let him go. Do it!
    4. Pick your self esteem from the dust where you left it.
    5. Decide and resolve to give your self the best and what you deserve. Only you can love you best.
    7. Apply for jobs. Contact your networks and push our your resume.So your financial status can pick up. Move out of that depressing village to town with your daughter and mom. She can stay with you to help you raise her while you get your life back. Take your self and daughter to fun places, movies, parties and build a social life GRADUALLY.
    8. Open your heart to love again.(No sex)
    9. Throw yourself unapologetic into God's Arms and remain there.
    10. Be happy.

    If you need a friend, i can be one. I wont mock you. God bless you dear. I am rooting for you.

  30. 1.You are not stuck raising his child, you are raising your child.

    2. People talk behind you because of your lies. Some things like this are open secret, if you own it, nobody will have any basis to come for you but when you try to hide it with silly lies, you expose yourself to mockery.

    3. Pick yourself up, time is wasting.

  31. Exactly my story too. I am 6months gone,no antenatal yet, no plans for baby things and I am pregnant with twins. Sometimes I am so happy having two beautiful souls growing inside of me, sometimes, I am sad, very sad. I know its just a matter of time everything Wil be fine. I dont subscribe to abortion, so I decided to carry on. You will be fine.

    1. Please leave your Details with Stella, I’ll reach out to you soon.

    2. I have dropped my details with her. Thank you

  32. Poster,I'm also a single mum, you will be fine, it's a matter of time. I was 3months gone when he got married to someone else. Just the same way he told you his family is against the marriage was what he told me. I was going crazy,had the baby through c/s,you can imagine the pain, humiliation and betrayal. Please forget about him, your child is a blessing,love her unconditionally, let people that care know you have a child, I'm where I am today because of my child , one day i will share my story. May you find favor through that child in Jesus name.


    You need to love yourself (treat your self well, respect yourself, don't ever allow any one to rubbish you or treat you bad) and you can heal, learn and accept to move on...forget about failed relationship, over come someone or people who have hurt you or betrayed you and did you wrong!!!
    Hopefully you may succeed in the end, have better life more than imagined if you were with the father of your child and ex.
    I understand Nigeria is a terrible place and stigmatizing, full or mocking people, haters and hypocrites who love to look down on anyone with a child born out of wedlock or single mums who are struggling with their kids.

    *Try to be positive in your outlook in life and learn not to fall into traps of deceitful men or liars who only intend to exploit you and take advantage of what ever they perceive as a weakness in your life now or bad situation, unfortunate circumstances. Same way avoid women who gossip or plot to undermine, set up someone for a disaster or trouble and ridicule their fellow women.




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