Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Monday, February 12, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmm...na wah!!!






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE NON EXISTENT BABY DADDY


Good day ma'am... 


My reason for sending this chronicle is to seek advice from you and your BV's concerning an issue that has been bothering me for sometime now.

I am a 23yrs old single mother of a 4yrs old boy... I am also a student of a university in Rivers state.. I have heard and seen cases of how parents fight for child custody and also notice that the society support the father simply because they believe that the father owns the child.. It is something I dread because I know that someday, I ll experience it as well..


My Baby daddy has not set his eyes on his child since I had him 4yrs ago.. 
.. I have cried, begged, persuaded him to atleast support me but to no avail.. The last time he asked us to meet at his place, he almost raped me but for God's Intervention and ever since then he doesn't care whether my baby lives or not.. 

It has not been easy combining school with work and also cater for child at my age. Thank God for my Mum, I don't know what would have become of me now.. My child needs fatherly love and support but lack.. I have accepted my fate but I wouldn't want to suffer now and someone will now come from nowhere to claim and take my son away..


 I need advice on the steps to take. How do I gather evidence should the need arise later in future. I know what my baby daddy is capable of doing. He doesnt pick my calls and I have stopped calling..I don't know anybody, someone should pls come to my rescue.. God bless you all




*If you were in Lagos,there is somewhere in Alausa that the govt set up that you can report him to,some kind of family unit..I am sure they have same in Rivers state...Report him and he will be invited,if he doesnt attend you document that but at the and of the day you cannot stop him from seeing his child...
is he in your age range or older?Does he not have family members that you can report his behaviour to?


42 comments:

  1. The Lord is your strength

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aunty I hope your child isn't bearing his surname sha, if not change it sharply to yours, plus you have to work very hard so you can always provide for him in case custody battles starts later on

      Delete
    2. It doesn't matter whose surname the child has. That doesn't hold water in court

      Delete
    3. Stella the law in Nigeria states that once you are not bound by marriage to the man,the mother has sole custody unless she decides otherwise or she is unfit.Poster i was a single mother before i got married that is how i found out because i asked my lawyer.Change the Child's name to yours too.Just go any local government and apply for a new birth certificate make sure you don't put his name as father then you are good.

      Delete
  2. Nice advice Stella.

    Try to document whatever transpire incase of any legal actions.

    It baffles me why some men can be so callous. I have a female colleague in her early fourty now with the same problem. Two girls and their Dad does not care whether they exist or not. The mother is currently responsible for every single thing they need.

    Inresponsibility of the highest order. Tufiakwa!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Is your baby's daddy somebody's husband?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even if he is somebody's husband that's not enough reason to abandon his blood, no 1 knows the child that will take care of him or her tomorrow, the child didn't begged him to impregnate his mum, neither did the child asked him to have sex without condoms, the guy is irresponsible QED

      Delete
  4. Stella Maris baby12 February 2018 at 15:11

    Rape you ontop carrying his baby.
    Do he wants you to carry baby No2.
    Not understanding some guy's.

    May God fix it for it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ikwerre guys can fight for their kids, but if ur family strong, they can't take d child, if he's from kalabari, no worry, he doesn't have ur time now n for ever.

    ReplyDelete
  6. If d say leeeeeeg close u girl will say no. I pray everything will be fine last last and again dat thing should not hungry u b4 u go open leg again

    ReplyDelete
  7. Someone will come from nowhere to take your son. He will, because guess what? He is forever the father. Raise your son well, do it for him. He will still seek his father and his real hometown. When the time comes, do not resist, that's the way life is. Being a mother is not a days job. Forgive him and have peace, that way, it will be easier to deal with. Meanwhile, report your baby daddy to the proper authorities. Use Google. Get funds so you can give your son a proper upbringing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A few weeks ago, I witnessed a 9yr old girl deny her father publicly after he did underg and got court order to take the kids. Girl says she isn't going anywhere cos her dad is evil and if he can treat her mum like trash, he can do same you her.everyone including the mumbrella begged her but she refused.bottom line, dad only got one of his 3kids to follow him. My point is that the days of fathers "owning" kids are long gone, these kids are way smarter than we were and they see and hear things.
      Poster, all you have to do is work hard and fend for your kid to your best, take stellas advice not to fight o but gather evidence. The day he comes back, send stella a message, we will be here waiting for his unfortunately sorry ass.

      Delete
    2. This us not true. Go to court and fight for your child. Stop giving nigeria a bad name

      Delete
    3. Era of training a child & one bastard will come to claim the child is long gone, these kids don't send you wey train them na person wey them no know them go send abi, is alright!

      Delete
  8. You cannot force love. If a man is not interested in his child nothing you do is going to make him interested. Mind you force this thing and he come and use your child for rituals. If you have brothers then let them be the male influence in your child's life. Enroll him in sports activities so he can be around men and boys. Since you have your mother's assistance, take the opportunity to finish school, get a little part-time job, or do some small trading. Visit women focused NGOs to see what programs they have to offer. Stay positive and keep away from the father of the child, do not even think about him. God is your strength and you will succeed. Better days are coming just believe.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anty anti-abortionist will soon be here for the poster. Its amazing how men that sleep with ladies become so callous when gbege enter. They will just open eyes for the ladies and Starr showcasing their madness. This should serve as a lesson to young girls. Close your legs, use protection if your legs can't be closed. If the guy starts acting funny on the news of the baby, find a solution to the preggy or give it out if the child will hinder your progress.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bestest comment!!!

      Men get to shoot and either walk or stay while the girl should have no option but have her life drastically changed for the same mistake. If this country is serious on being anti-abortion, please give the baby away or generally find solution to the unwanted pregnancy.

      Delete
    2. Poster did very well by not aborting.
      What she did not do well is opening legs when she wasn't married.
      You sound like you like to callously open legs asunder for "gbege" to enter?
      So how many have you aborted or are you sterile?

      Delete
    3. Are u not d anti-abortionist u are talking about? See Kettle calling pot black.U are not different from dat stupid bv.

      Delete
    4. Just listen to u. 'Give it away, if it will hinder ur progress'. So it's all about u. U forget that this is a human being u are talking about. When ppl condemn extramarital sex, this is part of the reason. Then someone will come with the same useless, 'don't judge', 'who holy pass?' argument. In a marriage situation he would have been forced to assist in the child's upkeep. If at anytime, he is able to prove that he is the child's father, nevertheless, the courts won't deny him access to the child. Except u remain incommunicado, u can't really avoid a claim on the child if the man decides he wants to be part of his life. Just do ur best in the mean time to raise the child well. When they are very young, the mother usually keeps them. If they are a little older, the courts can oblige them their desire to stay with their choice of parent, assuming both parents are equally capable of keeping them. When they become adults, they are on their own and sons usually seek out their roots. So there's really not much u can do in the situation but keep nurturing your child and pray God for peace.

      Delete
  10. Nawa, I think women should start taking charge of their sexual health and reproductive life.
    Women please start buying condoms and keeping them handy. Don't expect a man to do all. Once that their thing is up, all senses flys from their brain. Don't be ashamed to buy yourself and keep it. It will save you all this baby mama/baby papa stress.
    There was a guy I was dating that kept on insisting we go without since we are going to get married. Infact he always talked of wanting a baby from me. Either way always told him my family we don't get pregnant without marriage, marriage first. All my elder ones never did that without marriage first. To think the guy already had a girl from his village he was planning to marry. Found out after the traditional marriage by which he told me he was going home for his brothers trad.
    I would have been a baby mama saying this sort of story, if I listened to his lies.
    Poster this is Nigeria, he cant just come and collect your child like that. keep evidences he was a dead beat dad that never saw his son.
    Send him emails saying your mind and why you are not happy about his irresponsibility towards the child. Keep receipts of school-fees/ hospital bills etc, scan to him that he should play his path. He will respond rudely to this emails or may not respond at all.
    Just keep paper trails of this. You cant keep history of your calling, but you can keep these as evidence of negligence of his child. No court will see his negligence of his child and award him custody.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You need brotherly figure since the foolish man refuses. How a bout your people to be around him apart from your mother. Teach him love and then love yourself.

    For now stay off men, at the end you will be glad you did.

    If your son ask you question tell him the man kaput long ago as he abandon both of you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Things will always fear has a way of hunting us later in life. I think Stella's advice is okay, besides you can change that fact that he is the father & obviously some time some day he will seek for him or the son will do same.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Some people are just plain stupid, poster I stopped reading your post when you said you dread having a custody issue because you knew that will happen to you someday, I am shocked. Poster how can you be so stupid to place such a curse on yourself knowing fully well there is power in our tongue. How can you ever wish a child custody battle on yourself. I just don't understand how most of you think. Later they will say don't judge. That word has destroyed so many souls, please we should judge. Instead of making positive declaration on yourself, you are wishing for a child custody battle. Abeg make i go find garri soak. Dem don pour some people sex for bed sheet sinceee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why are u sounding pained? Is it ur child custody battle? Why d thing pain u pass? Pls stop pouring ur frustration on an innocent girl..Haba.
      Go soak garri and drink bcos I can see hunger is making u to sound dis pained.

      Delete
  14. Dearie while I try to empathize and understand where you are coming from. Its want u to keep an open mind , u can't start seeking for options to forever restrain him from having access to your child. Reasons being its not all about u, its about your son too and someday weather u like it or not he with grow and begin to require the love and attention of a father, secondly people change. Your baby daddy might be in a place where he is afraid to step up to the plate and be in your kids life but sometimes people grow, mature and their mind set change. I know of someone who not accept his girlfriends pregnancy, she had a boy. For 11 years her baby daddy did not show up but when her kid turned 11, he had gotten married and had 2 kids. Suddenly he came lookin for his son. He did not take the child cos her family refused but he was granted access to him. He pays for his school fees, they talk on phone daily, he visits sometimes, the boy was even doing badly at school but since his father showed up he has improved greatly, he also sends money for the boys upkeep and buys him gifts. Before then the little boy was constantly asking of his father, some kids his age whom adults probably told stuffs concerning him once referred to him a bastard and he was very sad and began to question about his dad which he was constantly lied to until his father came calling. The essence of this story is to illustrate that people do change and as a parent sometimes it should not be all about u but your kid. Don't you think the mother of the boy in the story would have wanted to say no too buts its not just about her. Please do the best u can with Gods help and may God bless u and stay positive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seeking custody does not restrain access. It protects both child and custodial parent. A good parent would not snatch a child from the parent who has been caring for him or her. Get legal things taken care of and remove sentiment. A good parent does not need reawakening. When this one comes to his senses if he does, she will be protected and things will not be messy.

      Delete
  15. Honey when you have some money make sure you register the fact that you have full custody of the child or look up FIDA and see who can represent you for free. Many kids get taken because women do not put the right measures in place. Do things the legal way, and when the boy is older if he wants to and if the father is willing...they can form a relationship. No one collects a child anymore, you are should educate yourself on your rights as his parent. Even in this our nigeria, the law works in custody cases. If he is a troublesome person then make sure you document all care and costs spent on the boy. If he dares kidnap him, you fight back.

    On your side, finish school and work hard to become someone. Do not become desperate for a man as lots of our men prey on single mothers and leave you in worse shape. For your son, set big goals achieve them and set bigger goals.

    ReplyDelete
  16. It is well o. I believe you should report him to his family members. They will surely talk to him. God bless you...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Mummy Sean, is this you?

    ReplyDelete
  18. As long as we girls/ladies continue to open legs asunder to every
    d*ck on the street without their bride price being paid,
    we'd keep reading chronicles like this!
    Even those ladies reading this will still spread legs like mat
    in the name of Valentine; if they have not already done so.
    It is painful to note but truth be told;
    Some of us girls will: be pregnant in two weeks time
    Some will die in abortions in about a month from now
    Some will be baby mamas by Christmas
    Some will die while giving birth or in the process
    of pregnancies with all the emotional torture . . .

    Thank God poster that you survived all the above possiblities
    You can be strong as your mom supports you.
    Whatever you decide to do, raise your child to know God
    and who knows, he will be somebody; he will not forget your labor of love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aunty anti-abortionost is here as predicted. Madam u are sounding like a broken record already. U must be suffering from schizophrenia..
      Mental illnes is real..Get help fast and stop hiding under the cloak of Christianity. U are not a christian bcos if u are,u will know dat bible said, "Don't Judge".
      U come here all d time and keep blabbing about closing leg blah blah blah..
      May brain fall on u.

      Delete
    2. 1 Corinthians 5:12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?

      Delete
    3. So wetin Anony 17:05 talk there wey no make sense?

      Delete
    4. No mind am. E beta make she continue dey write chronicles?

      Delete
  19. Its not only for the singles. I was married and even did ivf twice but the year I took in,my ex husband decided he doesn't want anything to do wit me. Am now a single mom, thank God I work and have a supportive family.
    I ve bounced back and dating. So it can happen to anyone.
    My baby is mine,if he wants her. He is free to see and be her dad. She bears my fathers name and will bear the name of any new hubby I get,simple. But if he wants to drag her with me, he dies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An unmarried woman would first have to prove paternity, if she is to get the law to compel a father in denial, to assist in upkeep.

      Delete
  20. Find Emeka Ugwuonye at DPA(Due Process Advocates) and he’ll help you. FIDA people will keep asking you for money without doing anything. I remember them fleecing me for trying to help a friend. Once they saw I had a foreign number, I paid for recharge cards for them to answer my calls oo. I was handed over from one person to the next. And their egos are terribly massive. My frustrated friend just dropped the case and endured the dv until she finally left the Marriage last year.
    Emeka has a big ego but he’s compassionate and your knight in shining armour. He’ll make your baby daddy commit to the growth and development of his child.
    Good luck and God’s blessings on you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DPA Emeka is a fraudster. I pity all those brainwashed women who fall for his gimmicks. Digital Daddy indeed!

      Delete
  21. Poster, I hope you see this, locate the welfare office in Port Harcourt and open a file for your boy which will document all that transpired, you will also be referred to Legal Aid in Ministry of Justice or Office of the Public Defender, let them have a file on your case in these 3 places.


    If any custody battle emerges, you have evidence that will stand in court. Don't stop them from forming a relationship later in life as they will likely do that but don't let him intimidate you if a custody battle comes up.

    ReplyDelete

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