Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Friday, February 02, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmm na wah!!!





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
A MARRIAGE THAT IS COLLATERAL DAMAGE



Dear Stella,

I need advice from your females fans/followers. Kindly publish my story. Please keep me anonymous. Name and email. I go by THE name ********. I live in Benin.

..........

I am in a deep shit and there's seems to be no way out. I just need to speak out. My marriage will be 10 years soon and it has been everything but sweet. I thought I loved my wife.


I have been trying to manage and package the affection but I am not good at pretence. She has complained several times that I am not into her. I don't play with her. I am a stranger to her. All sorts and she is totally right. I can make a list of her offences and wrongs but you know lack of love precipitates the minutest of offence. Even though she has hurt me deeply but I am not good for her. I hurt her more.


 I have observed this shortly after our wedding but I thought my resolution will carry me. I am more free with females outside. I talk freely and friendly not because I have a crush on such people but I am real with them
This has hit me deep that. I wish I could release her to peace. She is not enjoying anything from me other than my name. The gap between my kids was simply because I don't want birth another child into the relationship.


I don't want to paint her bad. She has her weaknesses like everyone else but it d union is a collateral damage. I don't have any sweet memories of romance or affection. The only time I touch her is during intimacy which is even practically dead now. We hardly talk. Stylishly avoid each other. 


She hardly cooks for me so I eat out 24/7. I can't even hug my wife while I hug female colleagues freely in my office. These years have left me a shadow of myself except when I am away from home for official trainings which make take me a week or a month max.

I am a father but not a husband.

She does not deserve this but I can't help it.

I need the advice of your fans.


*What led to this decay?why didnt you try to stop it?what do you want?to save the Marriage or end it before it kills you both?
Sad!!!

95 comments:

  1. What led to this?

    Where u forced to marry her?


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are obviously a boy who doesn't know what you want. You don't give your wife affection and you expect her not to react to the fact that you have female friends out there (whether sexual or not). You and only you can fix your marriage and if you don't want to, keep fooling around. Leave her and marry another and it will be the same and most likely worse cos you don't know what marriage is all about and the next lady will treat your fuck up cos she won't want to end up like you 1st.

      My advice, meet a genuine marriage counselor, tell him/her how you both treat yourselves and you get advice from a non biased person. Take your wife there subsequently to also learn. Apologise to each other and start living the 'life of a couple' who are interested in being companions and not just 'surname-sakes'.
      May your home not crumble because of your ignorance.

      Delete
    2. The Bible says, find happiness in the woman you married.. Why have you both decided to let go of your marriage?

      You are the head of your family, find a way to work things out.

      Communication is very important, appreciation goes a long way too.

      Delete
    3. anon 16:12.. you just dont have sense.

      Delete
    4. I read this story and was so mad eh, Oga ur type is what the Igbo's call okanmma na ezi! Change o, that's how you bastards will come to someone's father's house, marry the daughter all to make her miserable and bitter for the rest of her life. Women have suffered all sorts all in the name ofmarraige. Oga thunder fire you

      Delete
    5. Seems u have your mind made up already but u need us to give u backing.

      No we won't. Do it urself.

      Delete
    6. Neither do you!. SMH!!!

      Delete
    7. 16.12 you are obviously the senseless one. That's the best advice here.

      Delete
    8. Even if you were forced to marry her, Oga try spike up the relationship now.
      Haba..
      What exactly has she done to make dislike her?
      What exactly are your reservations towards her??
      Is she the lousy type that can't keep information to herself? You can correct her.
      Is she the dirty type? Or the nonchalant type?
      One thing you must understand is no human is perfect.
      Try all you can revive this relationship cos that lady you re admiring out there that makes you think she is all shades of perfection, when you eventually marry her might be worst than the Lucifer at home.

      10years is no joke man.
      Keep your marriage. This principal doesn't fall on the waman alone, same is applicable to the man

      One last word...
      Whatsoever thing you admire in a woman outside, initiate them to your wife be it her dressing, hairstyle, make-up, character, manner of approach, sex name it..

      Secondly, sit her down and talk to her what your feelings has been towards her over the years and how you've been managing to keep up. Point out her fault with love and then present the possible solution to her by teaching her. She will be glad you did. Don't just castigate her without proffering any possible solution.

      Love your wife irrespective of her difficiencies that is why she is your wife.

      A word is enough for the wise!

      By the way, you guys didn't do courship? Didn't you realise all of this lapses?
      You better rebuke the devil occupying your small head so he can flee from you..

      #I'm out.

      Delete
    9. I read the comments here and today I really get the reason they say,you won't know how someone feels till you are in same shoes as they are.some comments here shows you people don't have a good knowledge of what this man is going through,it's not that he's cheating,it's just that he can't connect with his wife,I'm a female and this is exactly how i feel about my marriage,so I get this guy and i think i understand what is going on in his marriage,in my case my husband is a good man,good looking and earns well,and i am a very beautiful loving happy go lucky lady,but my husband mentality is different from mine,we don't reason the same way,I find my husband a bit boring,I can't even sit down with him and have a conversation with him,it's either he doesn't get it or he takes the whole conversation south which always ends in arguments.i tried to cope with him for so many years but over time I became withdrawn from him,I stopped feeling anything like love for him,I'm only just hanging on cos i don't wanna be divorce,I find it hard to kiss and hug him,when we make love even,I just let him go ahead and please himself,I find it difficult to tell him i love him cos i don't feel that way and i can't fake it,I practically just try to stay apart from him in the house,when he's watching TV downstairs,I go upstairs to watch my own programme,I cook his meals,take care of him as a wife should but we are not in a loving marriage though he is in love with me but my own love ship sail a long time ago.i've told him to let's try see a counsellor but he won't have it(African thinking)I just can't feel nothing,I'm blank when it comes to feeling anything for him,when he tells me he loves me,I just smile,if he text me from work,I don't reply,when he complains that I don't respond to his text,I will reply with 'we love you too Daddy".The thing is i want to be loved and i want to love someone back in return but with my husband it's not just gelling.we haven't got any finicial issues,we own our house,have good jobs,we're very comfortable,but our marriage lack love from my side because of him,I just don't find him interesting.

      Delete
    10. It's easy to say all these things you mentioned up there but putting it into practice is hard when the feelings is not there.when love is lost,working on a marriage is hard

      Delete
    11. Caro, God bless you. A man who lets his house fall apart is a man who has missed his purpose. You are the Head of the family. You make your family what you want. You are the one that will answer to God as the Priest of the household. Go back home and love your wife, poster! Love her as Christ commanded. Pray for the ability to love her. Do loving things, speak loving words, play loving plays. Love is an action word and before you know it, your heart will turn towards her...

      But first of all, call and explain your mind. Why things have been the way they are and what you intend to do to make it better and that you will like her to join you. Talk about what you will like her to do better and have her tell you what she needs you to do better and you both consciously do those things.

      You might have to make it as tasks and review the state of your relations naija till things get better.

      A lovInig marital relationship as God designed is possible no matter how you started - yes. It is and in this Naija too!!

      Delete
  2. So why did you embark on this marriage in the first place?
    What good did you see in her?
    Was she pregnant before that and you were compelled to rush?
    Did she abort for you and the recursion of "no family of your own"; see Ex. 1, is playing out?
    Yes, you are wedded but not married, you have a house, but not a home?
    Look inwards guy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate guys like this, so you dint love her all these while but want to leave after 10 whole years, when it would be harder for her, after spoiling her body, oga you must marry if you like be hugging everyone on your street you must marry

      Delete
  3. Poster go and sleep. Look to Jesus and you shall be saved. You don't have the bible knowledge of marriage. Marriage is for life. So you have to make it definitely work.

    ReplyDelete
  4. For tenyears ....its possible anyways but its seems you are cheating alot and cant pretend anymore...oga forget those benin girls because after 20years you will go back to beg your wife.... you guys should trash out the issue together...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hian!...
    What kind of a man is this?...
    When you married her,you didn't know she is not good enough?...
    Oga,go and bond with your wife abeg..
    You guys should travel alone to bond more
    OR
    You get a side chick while she get hers...
    I'm sure you disgust her too...
    This marriage must work oh!..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol @ This marriage must work oh. YOU CANT FORCE LOVE! Some things dont just mix even if u bottle them together, kinda like mercury & water in glass!

      Delete
    2. Emmm linda..how do you come up with your advices. As in what gives you inspiration..lol.

      Delete
    3. No be man wey them use your pigeon collect; those you send to mediums.
      The thing don expire now, man eye shine!

      Delete
    4. Queen you de fear? because your mind de tell you say she be ur colleague wey knack am pigeon... no worry devil gift no de last pass 10yrs, una go dance to the juju music

      Delete
  6. Why put her in an intentional bond age?
    Over 10 years

    Free her or see a therapist

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All these "see therapist", how many of una go school for Naija jack therapist?
      You just wan imitate Oyibo?

      Delete
    2. "bond age?" (sic)
      You intentionally decided to put English in BONDAGE?

      Abeg slay queen blogbrity, you fit nack am for pidgin if English to strong, Stella go upload.

      Delete
    3. it wasnt intentional, you think he'd clearly walk into such with his eyes open? Do u think hes hapy himself? Things change, People change...

      Delete
    4. You seem to get it.he can't be happy himself,he's disconnected from the wife.Things like this do happen oo,I'm talking from experience,you just lose all the affection and feel stuck for years.getting out is not an option cos of the children so you learn to cope in the marriage.why do you think oyinbo people will just wake up one day and say to their hubby or wife that this is not working anymore,I want a divorce,

      Delete
  7. Leave if you want but don't say you're doing it for her. Many women just want to be married and she's married. Fir some, that's enough. If you're not enjoying it, that's your own

    ReplyDelete
  8. Communication is key Nna, you guys should sit and talk about all you've listed here if it's something you want to mend?if nop,tell her on time please.May God restore your home when you are done mending your ways🙏🙏🙏

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you think sitting down to talk about it is easy,they would have done that but doing that could be a big task when you feel this way.

      Delete
  9. At what point in the marriage did you notice your lack of affection for your wife? What are you not doing now that you were doing before? How do you remedy the situation? Do you want to remedy it? If you really want to enjoy your marriage, I think you should have a heart to heart talk with madam. Good luck because you will need lots of it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How do one have a heart to heart talk,when one's heart is blank.nothing will come out of it,besides the talk won't even come when there is no affection

      Delete
  10. I get where he is coming from? First of all, what made you marry her? This can happen when a man marries a woman strictly because she is beautiful or attractive. It can also happen to a lady who is just ready to marry anyone to answer mrs.
    BVS BE WISE AND GO FOR PEOPLE YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR BFORE MARRIAGE OR THIS WILL BE YOUR STORY SOON

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Feelings also change my dear.. thats why the elderly will say "Marry a man thats crazy in love with you, so when the loves dies down, which most likely happens, he'd still love you without the crazy part involved"... oh wait, thats my saying not any elder, lol.

      Delete
    2. Feeling do change ooo....you people should not mind me,I'm just trolling this post today

      Delete
  11. Please what I am writing below is for the poster to consider and not everybody. Remember that he asked for advise; didn't he?

    Proverbs 6: 16There are six things the Lord hates,

    seven that are detestable to him:

    17haughty eyes,

    a lying tongue,

    HANDS that shed innocent blood,
    Exodus 1:21 And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families of their own.

    Note that the "HANDS" is plural; that means that if you encouraged girls to abort for you in the past, the works of your hands, including future "marriages" can become scattered: Existing only in paper!
    What do you do?
    John 3:17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

    Jesus did not come to condemn you but to save you. You have to show interest in being saved from breaking his law. You have to mourn ; fast (for any innocent blood shed and not for salvation; note). And make Jesus your Lord.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you keep littering chronicles with abortions and pre marital sex. Aunty, please those are not the only sins listed in the bible. So a man that has no feelings for his wife is automatically translated into 'hands that shed blood'. Sometimes i wonder if the christianity we practice is different from the one abroad and if we serve a different God. When we ask God for forgiveness, He totally forgives us. By the way, I haven't seen where we were asked to fast for innocent blood shed. Please drop that bible verse nne, I'll like to read it. Y'all be bringing doctrines from God knows where. I wish I knew who you were and how your life is. I'm sure you dont quarrel with your husband and your life is perfect financially, spiritually and you are an important person in the society. If thats not the case, please stop trolling every chronicle with talks about sex and abortion

      Delete
    2. Aunty abortion of SDK blog!!,..
      You have copied and paste as usual!...
      Well done ma

      Delete
    3. @16:18

      Believers mourning the dead (not just "innocent blood"): Gen. 50:1-11,
      2 Samuel 1 especially vs. 11
      2 Samuel 12
      Psalm 51:17
      Genesis 9:6 (Matthew 26:52)
      Romans 12:1-3


      Perhaps you still don't understand:
      Hebrews 5:4 But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.
      (see also 1 Cor. 2:14)

      Delete
    4. And Linda you be "aunty nak pigeon, go medium, auntie side bobo, aunty find lesbo partner etc." your own full everywhere. Preach ya own and allow another person to preach hers. The world is big enough to accommodate everyone.

      Delete
    5. Anon 15.15 are you OK? You just took this south,East,West and North, abeg shift far like aethist just told you

      Delete
  12. Oga is either u or ur wife has spiritual husband and wife go and look for solution now

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Peanut sized brains..
      E no de ever pass spiritual husband or wife

      Delete
    2. Don't mind this anon 15.20, no be only sporikoko husband.you people should just let me troll in peace today and I am not ladybug in anon mode.no cussing pls

      Delete
  13. What has she done or what led to you behaving like this towards her? We need to know the reason behind it before we can advice.
    I will advice you try as much as possible to love your wife again, remember the reason why you fell in love with her and married her at the first place. Both of you should spend sometime together outside your home and without your kids maybe a day or two and talk or visit a marriage counsellor and prat very well cos it might be your village people playing snake and ladder with your marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You have to give us the full gist Nah.....

    The solution to any problem is first of all knowing and acknowledging the cause of the problem, from there, decision can be made.....


    What really happened?? Start from there.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. which full gist again na? This is what happens when u follow big nyash without anyother reason enter marriage, then u later realiz say na only shit big nyash de known for, lol... no mind me jo. Abi she bleach b4 u marry her then cream come finish? yeye thinking from me.

      Delete
    2. Cookie get idea,I concur

      Delete
  15. This is not new at all
    People Marry for so many reasons,what's yours?
    Maybe when you think of the "why",u will know the way forward.
    And lastly, is she even in love with you too? I Don't think so o.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It can also be "pigeon knocking" gone awry.
      All these otumokpo have got expiration date!

      Delete
    2. Tbh .I am in the same situation. After 10 years. Love don clear. Its so borimg now esp with 2 kids. We have no more fun, just arguments. I am thinking of getting out cos am financially bouyant too. Esp when you start to feel butterflies with other men/women outside and you feel nothing at all for yours. I just think maybe we dont have to live the happy ever after. Cos one's happiness is paramount .

      Delete
    3. Hmmmmmmn see my fellow team mate,we get this poster situation better.but as for me i don't think I will be able to get out of my own marriage,I'm buoyant as well but o won't be selfish cos of my own feelings and break our family up.i will keep enduring,I'm so bored but I'll be fine

      Delete
    4. I believe its you who wrote that long epistle above. I need to have you as a friend. Cos everything you wrote above is exavtly the same with me. Even the sex is just blah. He knows I dont love him again but he loves me too much to let go. We need to be friends. Teach me how to endure a loveless marriage. I am seriously thinking of seperation. Lets say my name is KIKO and we should connect with SDK to exchange numbers

      Delete
  16. You are a wicked man, acting like she forced herself on you. Deal with your gay issues and liberate her. Set her free abeg. You hug your colleagues but not your wife. How inhuman can you be. Say the truth, you are GAY.

    ReplyDelete
  17. U are just wicked..why did
    You marry her in the 1st place??
    U are not even looking for a solution..u just want out
    Pls divorce her so she can find someone who will treat her better.👎

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. who do you this kind thing?

      Delete
  18. Well, at least you're not putting the blame solely on her. Please have you tried couple's counselling? Not pastors I mean real qualified counsellors.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. when love goes sour eh, if you like dine with Oprah and Dr Phil, it'd be almost impossible to find again, he left things lying down for a decade, even an abandoned car engine wouldnt kick after so long.

      Delete
    2. Eraser even divorced couples come back together so what are you talking about? And who hurt you so bad that you're littering the comment section with your negativism???

      Delete
    3. @ erased ink... Kikikikii kakakakaka at this your comment but you're right sha

      Delete
  19. I also know that my husb loves his side chicken more than me.but what can I do with 3 wonderful children. This just prove what toke makinde said

    ReplyDelete
  20. Didn't you date? What led to all these? Is someone knacking pigeon on you? Is there another woman elsewhere? God, please I don't want to go through what this man's wife is going through. Amen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. na the wife fit don knack the pigeon, this time village people no gree person take their shine, theyre fighting back.. how dare you remote someone and take our title.

      Delete
  21. Princess Scheherazade2 February 2018 at 15:41

    Your story is incomplete. Why did you marry her if you felt this way about her? And if something caused this change in feelings towards her after you got married, what exactly happened?

    I don't know what kind of advice you're looking for except you want to divorce her and looking for supporters.
    Without information, anyone advising you is just pandering to your whims. Sorry oh.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Why do you limit the advice to females?

    It's hard to advice your type, because you know the right things to do. You've figured out the problems but you lack the courage to make wrongs right.

    Since you're the problem, just try and fix it.

    ReplyDelete
  23. This is really bad,chai I just hate to hear this kind of thing. but did they not date? Didn't he notice that they were not in sync with their chemistry?
    That is why I love what IK Ogbonna said about his wife being his personal ashawo,ladies listen:Everyman needs a personal ashawo & it has to be his wife,if you are not willing to go that extent then another woman will help you out. Every woman needs learn the ashawo skills too..hahaha
    On a more serious note this couple needs therapy asap, or just separate for good since the husband said he never felt attracted to his wife for once. They why did you marry her, were you forced @gunpoint?

    ReplyDelete
  24. 10 years of bandage.

    You should first of all find out what the problem is, and see if it's what you can resolve....otherwise I don't see any reason you both should remain in such union.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hmmm...
    This is an unusual chronicle,
    Poster, you didnt state if u were ever in love/lust with ur wife & it deteriorated, or was it a matchmade marriage by ur folks? Most marriages & long term rship xperience the love "wane" but rarely to this zero ground level, its the stages of love coming into play like nature, its inevitable with time, but it dsnt mean the end of that union, thats why i made that comment bout Juliet Ibrahim n her guy, hoping theyd find a way to keep burning after the honeymoon/infatuation phase comes & goes... then things wil become more clear to u & his/her flaws revealed 4u 2c.
    If you happen to jump into marriage within that period & it fades away, what you see is what you get, you can now make a conscious decision to work on ur love while the friendship smooth sails u, thats why its advisable to marry ur friend.
    In your case ur wife is more like a roommate 2u, & it has lingered for a decade, too much water gone by under the bridge, i fear the consequence. Your roots were never entwined 2gether.
    Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, & this is both an art & a fortunate accident.Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground, & wen all the pretty flowers has fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree & not two standing trees from eachother benefitting sunlight, Good luck sir!
    This piece might help a BV.

    #Sickmind.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sick mind 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

      Delete
    2. Atheist where do i send your kisses to

      Delete
  26. Why not try to bring romance into your relationship. You guys should go somewhere that isn't home and spend a few days together. Somewhere it would be difficult to avoid each other.

    Just try one last time before pulling the plug and communication too is key

    ReplyDelete
  27. I hope she kayan matas ur ass. Did she trap u bf abi u use ur hand carry her.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Poster both of you are the cause of your problem,if you cook without salt how do you expect it to taste nice.you guys refuse to spice up your marriage from the start,that is the result,this kind of case is not rear in Nigeria,i blame your wife more cause a wise woman build her home while the foolish one destroys it,you guys can begin today to spice-up your marriage and see how it goes. Ingredient to spice it up.MEN(1)wake up and pray together.2)greet each other and hug yourself 3)buy her gift i.e panties 4)give her mad heads.5)don't forget to tell her how much you love her WOMEN 1) play with junior,don't say junior is smhow to lick,lick junior like a lolipop and you will see how sweet it is,then you come on top of junior play with the tip of junior around your area do not insert first,then you insert the tip,play with it some more before inserting it.don't lay like a wood be on top of junior backing junior while you do your job and watch him mourn like a baby 2)dress sexy and unresistable always.3)cook for your man,you know how important their tummy are,cook delicious meal,make side meal for him,spice up your food,make it attractive.4)a home is suppose to be a place of comfort and not a war zone,give him peace.5)manage your home properly,spend wisely,plan for the future,be clean,keep your surrounding tidy.come back and thank me,stella I don't want to find my epistle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Women pulling down each other..
      Why are you blaming the wife?how is she the cause?

      Delete
  29. I say end it now, you have done self reflection and you have come to this conclusion. Why subject your kids to that kind of toxic environment just to maintain appearances, it's not by force to be married.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oga abeg go swerve to one side. Until you accept and take responsibility as the HEAD your marriage will continue like this. If she does not cook, do you give her money to cook? Why did you marry her ? Were you in love or in lust? Do you love her like you love yourself? Will you die for her? What was the basis of your union? Are you shagging other women? Has she caught you? Look inwards and DETERMINE to love her no matter what and watch her attitude change. YOU are the head. The buck stops with you. Shikena!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Very pathetic. If it is not working out, then end it to avoid spouse killing...

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hmmm so u decided to bring it here.its ok.
    Stella nobody forced him to marry me o.in fact I had a very good and richer guy on my case but ge was jst all over me. Stella let me not say much cos I've my plan set out already.And see eeh u irritate me,in fact I despise u.I'm still here cos of my kids but not any more.
    In fact Stella I will email you now and tell u d full gist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wait oh, you sure say na ur real husband post this one? abi una plenty with similar problems... no go accuse innocent man o

      Delete
    2. Ghen ghen.oya na we dey wait.

      Delete
    3. Anon 16.18 be feeling anger untop matter wey fit no be your own,what if it's not your husband and the post is just similar to yours.you better don't go and fight your husband over what he didn't do

      Delete
  33. Im a woman in a similar boat... Though we are not Married legally, you know abroad things, met and started living together with two lovely children.. My eldest is now 10 and since he refused to marry me properly im leaving him soon.. . He's a bully and made my life miserable, im 35yrs i dont want to spend another 35yrs in a loveless relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Seems like you married a woman you liked, even loved, but in a sisterly way. You likely saw her as someone who had shared values and who would be a good mother;however, it appears you never felt any passion towards her. You likely had preconceived notions of what a mother and wife should be and stuck to that recipe. The woman who would get down and dirty with the freaky shit was not part of the consideration, the woman who wore make-up and dressed seductively was not considered, the woman who could turn out the inner beast in you(in a good way) was forgotten. Unfortunately, you probably didn't even know the kind of woman who you really needed, you just probably seeked out someone who reminded you of your mother, and at such you cannot truly connect with her like you should, because subconsciously she is like mom. Alternatively, there could be a side to you that you fear if you show her she may judge you or reject you, so you created this wall. If you are really a freak just let it out, she is hungering for your attention and romance so give it to her. Valentines is coming up, take a weekend away and reconnect and let yourself go, do not be ashamed of who you are, we can't all be the same.

    Now, if my first thought was correct that you married a woman you only had sisterly feelings for and not true passion, you will have to work to see her in a different light. The only way you can change that is to start courting her again. When you have date nights, do not discuss the children, bills, family or anything like that. Act as though you have just met her and get to know her. Bring her little gifts like a courter would and just focus on her. You may discover things about her you never knew, ambitions she has, and views of life you were unfamiliar with. The solution is easy, you just have to commit to it.

    The above is my opinion as an unmarried woman, take of it what you will.

    ReplyDelete
  35. What is your wife's level of education? Did you grow up as friends before you got married? What is her profession or career? I suspect none; right?

    Your problem is called mid-ife crisis. It has no regard for age.

    You will regret it If you leave your wife because she does not measure up to your academic standard.

    I know you are not proud of your wife because she is not presentable. Prove me wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hmmm poster it is well. Don't know what to advice the problem has eaten deep. But I guess ur wife is hanging on cos of the children. Don't think she does not feel your coldness towards her. If na me I would have left. Its better to leave than to stay with a man who treats me like a stranger. No way!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Poster you need Jesus, this is outcome of marriage build on pigeon nacking, when it expires, the man eyes go clear, or spiritual wife or husband issues

    ReplyDelete
  38. Mr Poster, please were you and your wife married through arrange marriage stuff because I don't understand how you went ahead to marry yourself when you know there's no romance or affection between the two of you.........don't gerrit
    Continue to live as room mate because children are involve now. You must stay in that marriage by all means possible .learn to love her .Go get books to read .You two should not used your issues to destroy the lives of your kids....
    This chronicle reminds me of a foolish man that told me he wants to divorce his wife that have three kids for him because he found out they were related.
    I asked how and when he discovered they are family, he said after they gave birth to their first child, the wife's mother called to come to Lagos to help with the new baby. It was when she came that she saw the two of them and was shocked. They just met in lagos and started co-habiting and then she got pregnant. The man still has a father but the mother was late. His own father left their state of origin with him to live in another state.
    It was the wife's mother that told them that his own mother is the sister to the wife's father.
    The thing is they didn't go their separate ways oh ,they continue living together and birth two more children. It was when after the birth of the third child that this stupid man that remember that they are family and should go and marry other people.
    I told him what I just told this poster, that he should carry his cross. He should have separate from the woman after the first child but no, because of free sex ,you didn't now where will the woman go after 2 or 3 kids........
    Think am now......dat one no pure.
    Come out plain and tell us you've found someone else that's showing you what to love is.........that's giving you lots of affection and romance

    ReplyDelete
  39. He said he started to feel this way right after the wedding so whatever the problem is began before the wedding and during the courtship/relationship.

    Most likely you din't marry 'your wife', the woman God ordained for you. Didn't you guys date?
    How did you feel about her then? Are you sexually attracted to her at all? What did you see in her that made you propose to her? It'll be nice if you can rewrite your story with more details/info so BVs can have a better perspective. In the meantime, don't give up just yet... There is a being I know who can resurrect dead things. I only hope your heart is pure and your hands are clean.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Good you voice out your mind, try and visit a counselor.... . Or you take a vacation with her alone, talk things over with her, takeaway shyness from your face while with her. I pray you wake up romance with her

    ReplyDelete
  41. Go and see your pastor or pastor Ezekiel Atang for godly counselling.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Guy stop hurting yourself and your family. Sit her down and do a serious heart to heart looking her in the eyes. If you still don't feel anything beg her for quiet separation . Have some fresh air and decide later

    ReplyDelete
  43. Poster, I hope you get to read this.I had a similar experience and there are certain lessons I learnt in the process . You talked about both of you hurting yourselves in the past. That's the root cause. In my own case, i saw messages between him and another woman on his phone which indicated he was having an affair. I confronted him and his only defence was why i checked his phone.Foolishness, Ego, pride, unforgiveness. For months, I was trying to manage my situation, hurting in silence. Was watching my marriage slip out from my hands. At that time, we had started sleeping in separate rooms and had become strangers. There was zero intimacy. To think that we had an amazing and blissful 3 year courtship. I couldn't believe what was happening. I wanted to live with my baby and return back to Nigeria, but I couldn't for so many reasons. I was too hurt and angry. Worst of all, I was dependent on him financially. So I felt so helpless. We lived like room mates. Eventually, I spoke out to a close family friend who was shocked I had been handling all that shit for that long. No one could have guessed. We always appeared perfect in public.I prayed to God to heal me and restore the marriage. The family friend intervened and for the first time in a long time, my husband and I TALKED. Initially, it was heated. We said a lot of hurtful things to each other. Really hurtful things. Later that night, I went to him and was calm this time. Told him why it's important to me that we work. We talked and talked and talked about everything, especially the little things. He apologized. We made love and ...
    Even now, when I remember some things I still feel. I'm yet to totally move on from those hurtful feelings, but I can see he is trying to make things right. Healing takes time. If you still want your marriage,You may need to talk to someone,someone you trust and respect. If you are a believer, pray to God to intervene. Pray for healing and FORGIVE completely.
    God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  44. i would advice you to watch the movie 'fireproof' and give your all just one more time

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Comments And Opinions On Any Part Of This Website Are Opinions Of The Blog Commenters Or Anonymous Persons And They Do Not Represent The Opinion Of StellaDimokoKorkus.com

Pictures and culled stories posted on this site are given credit and if a story is yours but credited to the wrong source,Please contact Stelladimokokorkus.com and corrections will be made..

If you have a complaint or a story,Please Contact StellaDimokoKorkus.com Via

Sdimokokorkus@gmail.com
Mobile Phone +4915210329280