Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmmm.....

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

DRAMA OVER BABY MAMA AND DAUGHTER

I have been dating a baby daddy for 8 months now and I must say the journey has not been an easy one. I never knew I could find myself in this position as I am always against dating someone with a child because of the many factors surrounding it,but well here I am.


I met him during my Masters degree programme and we hit it off from there,he asked me from the onset if I could date someone with a child and I was quite skeptical about it. I asked all the necessary questions relating to dating him and he answered genuinely or so I thought. He told me he and the girl had a fallout before the pregnancy came in and they broke up because of the bad friends she keeps despite him warning her about it severally. He told her to choose between him and her friends and she chose them. She came back 5 weeks after the breakup to inform him that she was pregnant and he decided to accept the pregnancy. I tried to reason with him and he showed me her pictures and name and all that.



We started dating and I accidentally came across introduction and court wedding pictures on his laptop and some other recent pictures of the said baby mama with his siblings and Mum. I immediately showed him the pictures and he said he was forced to do a small introduction before the baby was born and the court wedding came later. He said he did all that to please his Mum as his Mum likes the girl already because they have a lot in common(they bear the same surname and his Mum and hers share the same name,he and the said babymama also have a name in common).


I have never been a team snoop, but with all this unfolding I decided to check the girl out on Facebook and Instagram to confirm....my findings were: They actually bear the same surname because her siblings too bear it, no wedding pictures whatsoever just the baby's pictures, she attends functions with his siblings, she is friends with his siblings(though he told me that already), she is tagged in most of their events. I checked her up on Instagram and she does not have a single picture of the babydaddy too except for his Mum and siblings, all old picture taken immediately after the baby's birth(the child is 2years now).


I have asked him severally what went wrong between them but he keeps saying it is more complicated than I can understand and I should please be patient with him and not give up on him. I have introduced him to my Mum and siblings and my Mum was initially supportive but learning all this has made her to withdraw saying she doesn't want me in such complicated environment, that he should go sort out his issues first and that I should look for someone else with less babymama/wife drama.


I also noticed the girl calls every now and then and when I care to listen in on the conversation, it's always formal and nothing romantic.He said they are friends because of the child between them which is quite understandable but what I don't understand is why the child is with his Mum and where does the girl live.He once told me she does Business, she moves around that is why the child is with his Mum.


He dotes so much on the child to the extent that any time we have a misunderstanding and I bring in the child to our talks he sparks up and goes cold for days. He keeps saying the child is a special child and he doesn't think he can love any other child like this one. I jokingly brought up the child's issue some days back, about how the child is the only one on his display picture all the time and he flared up, saying his display picture is only for his daughter and she would always come first in his Life, and that no child will ever take her spot in his life...

I tried correcting him that he is already trying to create future enmity between his daughter and his subsequent children and he got so angry and he hasn't spoken to me since then, i tried calling him but he has refused to pick my calls.


I know he will come around soon but I on the other hand I can't get over his words of loving one child over another, it may seem like it is not important now but what if it's actually the truth..and did i mention that talking about his babymama/wife is like a no go area,he flares up at the mention of her name and says his daughter is his life and that she is the only one he is sure of that can never walk away from him.


I love the daughter like she is mine and part of the reason I agreed to date him was because of the child, I saw her pictures and fell in love with her. I use the child as display picture often too and buy her stuffs when I can. He calls his Mum to speak with his daughter most times and once told me the reason he doesn't go to his Mum's place often is because the baby's Mum comes around often and he doesn't want to see her....I don't know how true all this is. I don't know what to believe and what not to.


Now back to me,I love him so much but I am also using my brain along because I don't want to be the reason any woman goes to bed crying, I don't want to be someone's prayer point to leave her man, I don't want to be the one that will be pointed at as the woman who took somebody's man. He once told me to be patient and that the road won't be easy but we will overcome, the question is what am I even overcoming? 

I am 28yrs and I don't know how long this patience he is talking about is going to last, though he said I should give him till the end of this year to sort things out that he has to be diplomatic and careful before he takes his steps.


I have the babymama/wife's phone number and I have tried severally to reach out to her, to know what exactly is going on or happened so I can take a walk, but fear of the unknown hasn't allowed me, as he has refused to fully open up on the issue for fear of me walking away, I really need matured advise BVs...Should i give the lady a call and talk to her heart to heart or just walk away without any explanations...

Thank you Stella for this opportunity.

*Hmmmm the whole secrecy even wants me make me help you call the baby mama sef to find out what happened..looks like he did something cos his family still seems to love her so much....

Is it cheating?Introduction?hmmmmmm

Abeg find out if they both found out they are positive and had a quarell cos i have heard of something like this before....

Please take him out to Dinner and ask him what is going on and give him an option of taking a walk cos you are beginning to build your own drama with him over this brouhaha...naluck and please if he tells you what it is,make you come back come tell us...