Na wah.......
THE EX WHO WONT GO AWAY
Me and my wife got married 3 months after we met, few months later my ex girlfriend came to my family house with a one year old son that looks exactly like me. My parents called me and told me what's up and I accepted the child. My ex said she has no body to take care of the child for her while she go to work plus her new job location is closer to my family house and my parents told her to stay with them without even asking for my opinion.
It's been close to 2yrs she came yet no plans of leaving.
My wife has refused to visit my parents house as long as she's there. This is a lady that told me she will never marry me that I'm lazy because I was job hunting then,less than two weeks after we broke up I got a good job. I didn't even know she was pregnant until my parents called me to tell me how the child is my striking image.
My parents said I should bring their granddaughter home if my wife doesn't want to come but she said over her dead body!!
I love her so much and I don't ever want to see her sad but she's really troubled about the whole thing.
My parents are now complaining about the girl that she's this and that but babe no even send them talk more of me. The last time I told her to stop insulting my parents she got angry and blocked me. My mum said I should tell her to leave but my wife is telling me not to do that since it's my parents that welcomed her without asking for my opinion, let them be the people to send her packing..
BVs what do I do?
*Why didnt your parents ask for your opinion or permission before asking her to stay?Now they want you to throw her out with or without the kid?..If you are sending her away,then you should make arrangement for how your child will be taken care of...........
I don't know what to say.
ReplyDeleteIt's really not that hard.
DeleteThe best solution would be to rent a place for the ex and your child. Pay up to one year's rent upfront. Let it be a place close to the grandparents and her job. In the mornings, she can drop off the child, so your mum can watch him as she has been doing already. On her way back, she picks him up.
It is crucial to also pay for schooling and whatever you and the ex agree on.
As you have 2 kids with 2 women, your parents' place can become the central meeting place for the siblings to meet and bond. The ex can drop of the boy before you, your wife and daughter show up. In the evening, she can come and pick the boy up.
I need to ask...does your wife want nothing to do with your son too, or just his mum? Your son should be able to spend weekends at your marital home. Or?
Oh they have seen her true color and don’t want to do again? They must do o, where do they want her to go. Anyway she’s your responsibility... at least your child is, get a place for her and your child, pay for anything that concerns your child but face your front, let your family be the ones to send her out, but when they do get a place for your child
DeleteThat's how you men will be sleeping around and causing problems for your future wife. Now you want me to advise you. When you were gbenshing, did you allow me to peep?
DeleteWhy can't the woman look after herself and her child?!!!! Haba. Poster face your wife and child. That's your family.
DeleteAnd if you are truly the DNA father of the other child, you can simply for now send only upkeep money, an amount that will not affect your family. The child was born without your knowledge or consent (na so you talk sha) so no one should expect you to now be father of the year. I hate irresponsible women who use children as bargaining chips. But you too sef condom no dey your area as you get 2 pikin and marriage in the same period.
@00.14
DeleteA child was born without his knowledge n consent
You are daft
Sam that gbensh a lady raw should expect what as end produce ??????
You think is everyone that got mind for abortion
Shmmmmmmm
@lilly simple, Learn to read. You simple organism.
DeleteA pack of condom would have saved you from all these stress 🙄.... Na your poor wife I dey pity sef.
ReplyDeletelmaooooooooo! IKR?!
DeleteLol. The reason he's calm. Some men would tell women who had a child before marriage they never want to see the child. Make una de Use condom oo
DeleteIt's possible she wants to use the child as leverage to scatter your marriage. e go dey pepper her say you don get good job
DeleteMy wife this and that...How about the child? You are forgetting that the most vulnerable person in this equation is your child, your flesh and blood, the one you happily made with the woman. You are acting as if the child is a nuisance just because you have a new wife.
ReplyDeleteIn all considerations please put the child first, she didn't beg you guys to born her. Let your wife understand that and let her ubdeunders that you don't want anything to do with the child's mother but your child is your priority. Why should a child lack the love, care and attention of her father?
African chic may you marry a man that was will never consider your feelings. Say amen
DeleteYou are daft sha. Did you read the part he said he welcomed the child?
DeleteAbeg close your mouth if you don’t understand simple English. You missed the entire point. I pray your husband does this to you and you dare not complain. Rubbish!
DeleteVirus, that was harsh. Its a complicated situation that requires absolute wisdom.
DeleteWhat is this one saying..is the child lacking love. Read to understand next time
DeleteHmmm this is serious
DeleteThat African chicken, truth is that child IS a nuisance. Doesn't remove from the child's innocence. Or is the child not the k leg in this situation?. Without the child would there be an issue? . Let's try and keep it real sometimes. Doesn't make us animals.
DeleteMadam chic..can't u read...hian
DeleteThis one hard o....
ReplyDeleteHow persin go chop okpa, another perisn go come dey drink water for am. Papa and mama wan grandkids and them no care where and how them born them, make them manage am as e shele.
ReplyDeleteClose legs, tuck in ya cucumber until you marry mbanu? You go go dey spray seeds aghara aghara like firemen dey spray water. Mgwanu, orue n' omume; I don reach to dey dance. You sure say another one no go show, come carry twiny?
Your wife is foolish. Who marries somebody after 3 months? Like?!! Its her cross and she should carry it. I am sure if she knew all these she would not have married you. Why do people rush into marriage without knowing what's up with the other person. 3 months only and then marriage when you did not have terminal cancer. I don't feel for any of you in this situation. Y'all are unokay walahi including your parents welcoming an ex
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to your common sense...oh bit me. You sound bitter because he loves his wife. Yes 3 months and they are happy than you could be in 3yrs. No one is asking for your fake sympathy that's the only think you can offer. Abeg move
DeleteI dated my wife for two months and we got married and we re doing great and very happy wit each other
DeleteSee ekwensu angle. Holy water fall on you.
DeleteWomen date without doing any background checks at all. Na only fork dey happen during dating.
ReplyDeleteEve the guydidny know he had a child until after he got married, so how would background check reflect anything?
DeleteYour wife is really a good woman o. So what is the intention of your ex choosing to move in with your parents and why did they allow how to move in? On top of pregnancy that you didn’t know about from the jump, now your home is suffering for it.
ReplyDeleteThat lady is out to destroy your home and cause chaos. Ask her to leave the child for you to take care of or leave and you’d be sending upkeep for the child. Also, If she refuses to leave your parents home then stop visiting too. Your wife shouldn’t be suffering for your mistake. Let your parents who let her in deal with her themselves, stay out of it. Child resemble person no kuku mean anything, go for a DNA test if you can afford it or deal with the elephant in the room once and for all. The way it is it’s like you have two wives.
Yeah @ Doppel, its the hard truth, na two wives you stylishly get Oga.How can another woman be in your family house for 2 years? Doing what exactly?
DeleteBest comment. Aptly said
Delete👍👍👍👍
DeleteBy fire by force 2 wives.
Exactly do a DNA test. How will she nit tell you for over a year that she was pregnant for you in the first place notto mention having a son for you that is a year old. Better do DNA paternity test and be sure he is yours.
DeleteShe hang d pregnancy for another mans neck d man come disappoint am na,she run come back to d original owner after one year and yea d man is married
DeleteStella where my child will stay is not even a problem but because even my wife is ready to accept him.
ReplyDeleteWhen I visited I asked her what's her plan,and she told me if I chase her out of that house that I will never know peace.
Oga collect your baby and send her out. She's not your legal wife. She said you will never know peace are you afraid of that?? Since you have not done anything wrong that warrant the curse then you have nothing to worry.
DeleteShe is trying to blackmail you spiritually and emotionally poster. Kick her out of the house as fast as you can. A cause less curse doesn’t stand. Whatever evil she says to you, return it back to her in hundred folds and make sure you say it to her face. Take your child, boot her out of your family house and tell her to come for the child when she finds an apartment for herself.
DeleteHmmmm.
DeleteWoman on a mission!
DeleteBut wait oh, how can you get pregnant, carry it for 9 months, give birth without letting the one responsible for it know?
Only desperate girls and women who want to born the baby and have it all to themselves does this.
What exactly did you do yo her? You must have hurt her badly for her to be acting this way. Some girls are heartless like that. It's not every girl you joke with... Now your parents are involved. They should be the ones to send her out. After all, they didn't impregnate her. You did. So she has been living with your parents for two years?
DeleteWho does that? Something is still fishy about this chronicle.
Something is really fishy. He dint give the whole gist.
DeletePoster she didn't think the child was yours until the person she went to give it to rejected her then seeing that the child has a resemblance to u she thought to come back. Don't be scared of her. Go to the welfare office and report. You guys 'll come to an arrangement and u 'll be free. She knows u are married and living well now, hence her wanting part of your life. Would she have come back if are still jobless?
DeleteWhy would you take the child on? I don't get it. Child support is your only option. You're a sperm donor.
Delete
ReplyDeleteYour ex wants marriage; period.
Lessons;
1. Do not insult any person, even if you do not want to date them. He is jobless today, may be a CEO next day.
2. Zip up and stop sowing wild oats everywhere until you pay bride price of a lady.
3. Ladies, close vj. till you get married if you do not want to be mama baggage.
4. The sorrows of them multiply that seek after other gods. Google it.
Thus us a one sided story! Poster, pls say the truth. You knew she was pregnant and had a baby for u. Stop acting like you were surprised when you saw her with the child. You broke her heart and she has come to haunt you. Don't be scared. She is just giving you a taste of your own medicine. You don buy market
DeleteSo modella if that was the case why didn't she come since to haunt him? Why didn't she show up at his wedding or even after marriage? Why now
DeleteFor the first time on this blog,you've made sense!!.
Delete@ Modella,even if poster knew the ex was pregnant,why should his parents allow the ex to stay in their house when the ex know that he has married.what posters parents ought to have done is ask the guy and the ex how they were going to take care of the kid,not accommodate the ex.@Poster,just tell your parents to send her away by their selves after all you were not informed before she was housed.
Delete@Modella
Delete"Thus us [sic]?"
THIS IS what I am talking about.
You come vex sotee you no even read am post?
im rape the girl? No be girl dey decide say them go do the do?
If we ladies should close legs, our wahala go reduce plenty.
Now;
who don become baby mama dey perch everywhere like fly?
Who don move on go marry another "fresh sisi?"
We get the shorter end of the stick and still we are careless as
we wish.
"We ladies should lose our legs..."
DeleteThe worst type of woman is the one who practices misogyny.
Let's us day the truth
DeleteMen respect your future peace of mind, tuck your hormones in and park well your small dangling skin
Women close leg
Decision made through sexual organs never ever make sense or end well
Let ur parents deal with her themselves, but be responsible for the child. You better not get close to ur ex, she has a plan up her sleeve.
ReplyDeleteWandering dock palava
ReplyDeleteOriegwu...be wise and know how to handle it..topnotch
ReplyDeleteHmmmmnnnn
ReplyDeletePoster your parent started this whole problem. How can they make such a decision without not informing you, or even thinking of how your wife will feel and also your reaction . you are married to a very patient and good wife. Take yourself out of this mess your parent put themselves in and focus on your family. how ever your ex turn out to be it their cross to carry and also it in their place to order her to leave . Just focus on your family.
ReplyDeleteYour parents should be able to tell her to go, if they really want her out of their home. What were they even thinking when they accepted to accommodate her?
ReplyDeleteI support your wife's decision not to go to your parents house while the lady stays there.
If you can raise money for her to get a place to stay, please do, for the sake of your Child but do it through your Parents. Do your fatherly duty to the child as well.
Why!!! Why should he pay for a place for her? Imagine this story in a developed country. Such entitlement.
DeleteIn a “developed country “ the lad will pay through his nose for child support .
DeleteJust saying
Mr man striking image or not do Dna, if it comes out true, Talk to your wife(hopefully she will be understanding) take your child from your parents to live with you. Let that child knows what's like growing up with a family abeg. When there's no child to keep her in your parents house she will find her way. Once once you send the child for hols at your parents. if she wants to see the baby she visits them and leave. After hols you take back your child. Life goes on. Tell your wife not to maltreat the baby you hear. Some Women are something else.
ReplyDelete@senorita, having that child in his family home will be the beginning of the end of his marriage. Or are you suggesting he ban the mother from ever coming to visit her child?
DeletePoster go the child support route. The decision of parents will always affect the child and this is such a case. With money and good education the child will be fine.
She has no business being in your parents house in the first place.She wants you now that you have a job,but unfortunately for her, you are legally married with a child .
ReplyDeleteI like the fact that your wife have refused to visit your parents because of your ex living there.
Your ex should leave,but proper arrangements should be made for the little boy after a DNA test is carried out . It is known in some cases that a child looks like the person who was close to the mother while the child was still in the womb.
@doppel you are right, dude has got two wives now. The earlier you take a strong decision the better ,Do not give your wife impression that you are in support of this whole issue. if not peace cannot be in your home. Your parents obviously liked her & wanted to join both of you by force, now I think it's backfiring. Dude be man, go face that demon, make an agreement, either she takes the child & you pay child support (as much as you can afford, she's also earning) or she leaves the child to stay with you, maybe she can visit once in a while.
ReplyDeletewhen you people go about fornicating and wont use protection. your parents are really funny o.
ReplyDeletePoster, get the police to get that wench off your parent's house (its just to tip them) even tho na them harbour trouble, take your son to live in your matrimonial home. If she make trouble about the boy as per taking him; ignore her and move on with your life. I dont even know why you gave her this much attention for it to lead to all this. Please, increase you tempo in prayers ooo cos this girl has nothing good to offer your life!! I really pity your wife ooo!!
ReplyDeleteIn all this drama, i feel for the lil boy and your wife. Both of them are suffering for what they did bargain for? I hope you have apologise to your wife for putting her through this stress?
ReplyDeleteTell your parents to sort out your Ex's palavar.
The child is not suffering. He's eating and sleeping well.
DeleteTell your ex to leave your parent house.and be sending her upkeep.
ReplyDeletePls confirm the paternity of your child by conducting a DNA test. Thereafter, tell your parents to send her away. Don't go to your parents until she leaves.
ReplyDeleteYour wife is right. Let your parents send her away because they brought her in first.
ReplyDeleteFor the little child you must love her by fire by force and provide for her. Talk to your legitimate wife about the child. Two heads are better than one.
Good luck
Hahahahaha reminds me of a friends senior bro that got a girl he met at a beer parlour in Ajah pregnant.
ReplyDeleteThe girl gave birth to his split image. The parents were so happy to have a grandson that they brought the girl home from the hospital. Next thing her mother too came to join her to do omogwu.
This people have seen comfortable mansion in lekki and have refused to leave. Baby will soon clock 1. They are enjoying cook, driver,24/7 light and all sorts there. I don't blame them,coming from one room.
I can remember when the girl was having pregnancy complications and they were thinking of flying her out. They asked her if she has International passport. This girl went into her Ghana must go and brought out pass'port photograph.
The guy has refused to go to his parents house just cos they are accomodating the lady.
Good for the silly guy that can't wear condom. Now he's knowing the girl ain't his class.
Poster sorry o. This sort of lady will never ever leave her child for you or your parents. The most peaceful thing that will help your marriage is for you to get that lady a 1bedroom apartment if you can afford it and be paying the rent for her. She remaining in your parents house will damage your marriage.
Tufiakwa. It's because of men and their roaming dicks that you'll see John and Judas being step siblings.
DeletePoster, if she refuse to leave, don't visit your parents either but call your parents not her everyday to know how the boy is faring. When she tire , she go diffuse for your parents house.
ReplyDeleteIT IS IMPORTANT YOU DO A DNA TEST NOW.
My two cents.
Good luck
You don't love your wife if not you won't put her in this mess. Do u know how hurt she is? Do u know how hard it is to live with d bitter pill that your husband has a baby with some woman and on top of it she lives with your parents as what! How many baby mamas are living with their baby Daddys parent. Nna you wife is a heroine if na me i will throw back ur ring and ask for a divorce then you will know how to solve it. So u can't throw her out or ask for the baby or look for away to get her another place which is painful for any wife. Kai women are suffering oga u are taking your wives understanding for stupidity. I love my wife how? That woman is going through hell imagine your parents siding with the lady and bringing her in. Oga if u knew u had a child you should have married the other woman except if your wife knew about the baby and decided to marry you. You are a wicked man. If ur wife got pregnant for another man under your roof would you live with her and she will be saying i don't know what to do trust me you are not that stupid. You are a man does not lessen the amount of the damage you are causing your wife cos in Africa women are made to accept all sorts. I am so pissed.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!! The cheek of it all. As in most times our men act as if their brains are decaying. And these his parents are terrible people.
DeletePoster it is not ideal paying any rent for this lady, get money do a DNA test, if it is confirmed the child is yours, get a lawyer involved and pay up keep. If the woman don't have where to stay, move for total custody of the child. However, all these should be in good understanding with your wife. If you pay rent and she calls u in the middle of the night that the child is critically sick, won't you go there,then what may happen after that visit will have consequences.
ReplyDeleteExactly. I know someone in a similar situation. His ex went off the pill without his knowledge and got pregnant. They weren't ready for kids or marriage. Her family put so much pressure and threats on him to marry her. It all backfired and they separated. She only called him when she finds out he's in a relationship then it's late night calls, your daughter misses you. Turning up at his office to shout and using the daughter to call him names. The guy boned and now only pays upkeep. No relationship at all with both the lady and the daughter.
DeleteGOD please help us obey you and not make desperate decisions
DeletePoster I recommend a DNA test please.
ReplyDeleteBtw, your wife is a good woman. If I were her, you would have thrown the lady out of your parent's house by now. Your parents or you can raise the child.
Bed and Roses,the lady is working. Why must he rent her a place, he can support her bcos of the boy
ReplyDeleteExactly!
DeleteStart with DNA test. He looks like you is not confirmation of anything
ReplyDeleteDo a dna test cos u are not the o my one she slept with, that’s y u didn’t know about the pregnancy at first , maybe the person she took d pregnancy to didn’t want it or she later felt the child looks like u. But it’s funny how she lives with ur oarnety. U don’t owe her anything!! How many baby mamas live with the guy’s parent when the guy is married? Who does that! Maybe u are slow nd foolish!!!!! Ur wife tried cos if it’s me I would have dealt with u! U owe ur baby mama upkeep money for the boy and not a house! Ask her where she was living before she got pregnant, how come house is part of the deal? Let her drop the child with your parent and sort herself out cos you are not her responsibility! Tell her to her face
ReplyDeleteThis is your mess,regardless of what your parents did it's your place to go clean things up. Go and tell that woman what you plan on doing,she needs to move out period. Stop putting your wife and parents through this stress,they wanted to help but now they can't anymore. It happens,get the DNA and tell that woman what time it is. Stop acting so helpless.
ReplyDeleteNever underestimate the importance of DNA test. Just because a child looks like you does not mean the child is yours. Go for DNA test immediately.
ReplyDeleteif the test shows you are the father and your ex wants to be custodial parent of the child, then you arrange with a lawyer to pay upkeep else just keep the baby and take care of him and let your ex move on.
Once you pay rent, you have automatically married her and next thing is for her to get pregnant second time because she must look for every way to sleep with you again. Tell your parents to stay completely out of your business.
Your wife deserve a good man, be one for her.
Your wife is right. Leave your parents to sort out the mess they dabbled into without your consent. You didn't bring this mess on. They did. So stay out of it. But look after your child. Gove the upkeep money to the girl to look after the child. Thats all you owe her. As for your parents complaint about her behaviour etc...just say hmmm and move on. Don't say a word. They invited her in. Let them send her away. Period. It is their home. Not yours. I know what I'm saying. I have been there before. Stay out of it completely. Your parents need that lesson. Don't make it lighter for them. They brought her in without your consent. You'd be a great fool to be the one to send her out. Leave them with their foolish decision. But take care of your child. As for your wife, she's a gem. Hold her like you will never let go. That's a woman you have there. And if you listen to her,your success has only just begun!!
ReplyDeletePoster, she say wetin? If you chase her, you will know no peace? Meaning she don assume the place of a second wife and is waiting to overthrow your wife? Make customized thunder fire her there!!!! Don’t even bother. Let your parents fix the trouble they got themselves into. Stop visiting for now because your life is being threatened. Trust me, you should take that threat of hers seriously. Do not give her cash directly and do not rent a house for her, I repeat, DO NOT RENT AN APARTMENT FOR HER. You had sex as adults. CONSENTING adults. She should get a life and if taking care of the child is going to be a problem, she can leave him with his grand parents but if she chooses to keep him, then reach an agreement on child support(something reasonable). But do not speak with her directly or have direct physical contact with her. You didn’t run away from your responsibilities as a father, you were not aware and now that you are, do right by your child not her. No vex o, wetin she dey tell guys wey dey toast her say she dey do for another person parents house? She’s a moron!
ReplyDeleteIn all of this your parents have not done well. Why ask the girl to come live with them with the baby without your consent knowing you are married? Giving the girl leverage and subtly a wife status! Big hiss. That is what my aunt did and destroyed her sons home. Nonsense African culture. Your wife is right. She is right not to visit them. They have done her a moral wrong. She is right to ask you not to get involved. To teach your parents a lesson. And if i were you, i would keep my distance too. Let them take care of the child. Thats what they wanted right? And send them money. Fine. All because of the child. But thats where it stops. Leave them to sort out the mess they created- without thinking of the consequences of their silly sentimental decision.
ReplyDelete