Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Actress Joke Silva Recalls The Times She Wanted To End Her Marriage To Colleague Olu Jacos...

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Sunday, December 16, 2018

Actress Joke Silva Recalls The Times She Wanted To End Her Marriage To Colleague Olu Jacos...

The 33 year old union of veteran actors, Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva, is a shining example of a Marriage that has stood the test of time ....You can see that the couple have earned bragging rights to their Union.







Premium Times recently caught up with Joke on the set of a new Nollywood movie and she spoke about what has sustained her marriage thus far.



PT: Congratulations on your 33rd wedding anniversary. How would you describe the journey so far?


Joke: The journey has been incredible and extremely interesting. It has also been one of learning. I don’t think anybody can ever prepare anyone for marriage. I had friends who were married until one partner died or death did them part and well over 40 years we’re each other’s friends. They had their challenges and they weathered the storm. Those were my role models. Knowing full well that there will be storm, I soon realised that my storms were totally different from their own storms. I wasn’t prepared for my own storms.




PT: What are some of the lessons learnt in your marriage?

Joke: When my own storms too came, it was also a learning curve for both sides (my husband and I), we both had to learn to forgive each other. I learnt that marriage is not a destination; it’s a continuous journey, and somehow, it seems like the enemy knows that, so he says, “So, you weathered this storm, let me throw another one, let me see whether you will weather this one.”

But, I think when you know the person you are married to, when you like the person you are in relationship with, when you do have respect for each other, you learn. At least for me, for my husband, he was always wanting what was best for me. I had to also learn what was best for him but I finally got. It differs from person to person and it all depends on what your background is.




PT: Was there a point in your marriage when just wanted to end it and not minding what the society would say?


Joke: It happened a lot. I recall a particular incident that happened when we just had our first baby. It turned out to be a learning curve for me. Olu had just come back from set apparently what happened was that he was still in that character that he had just played on set. So we were just talking and he just started shouting and I was like, “Is it me you are talking to? Do you think I don’t have a father?” So I packed my clothes with the drawer and I dumped it in my car, carried my baby and I remember our landlady lived at the back of our compound. So, she came out and started shouting, “Joke, where are you going to?’’ I told her I was going to my father’s house. When I got home the first person I see is my mum and she said what are you doing here? I began ranting and she said you don’t have a house or a room here, you better pack your bags and go home. My father sort of understood where I was coming from. Funnily, my husband called and asked, “When are you coming home?” That was the first time and I did it a couple of other times.




PT: Do you think divorce is really an option?


Joke: I think that if you are in a situation that you cannot tolerate bearing in mind that we all of us have different thresholds of pain be it emotional or otherwise. Please if you have reached your threshold, life is not hard, please carry your load and go. Because if you leave they will talk and if you stay they will still talk. There are some people who needed to leave because they wanted to maintain their sanity, if they didn’t leave they will go mad. There is life after a divorce.

28 comments:

  1. Hmmmm.... no prefect marriage. She has left home a couple of times. It is well.

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    Replies
    1. Sometimes you have to show your placenta is not buried there & you have options, or theyd take you for a 2hrs ride in traffic to their slaughter house, cus you reek of desperation.

      Delete
  2. Nice one Joke silver.
    You're a role model.
    Why didn't you add Jacobs to your name Btw??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's a feminist...

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    2. I think she later did but people are already used to calling her by her name

      Delete
  3. Marriage is not for the weak minded, your bank account cant sustain a happy marriage, your beauty or swag cant sustain a happy marriage, your sexual dexterity & ability cannot, your prayerful nature & role in church cannot, your books & motivational quotes you read daily cannot.... etc.
    Marriage is just pure luck & sense applied, mainly luck!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are absolutely right.

      Delete
    2. Marriage isn't pure luck cause it's not a game of chess or football instead it's more of maturity and the ability to understand each other

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    3. Marriage is WORK! Lots and loads of sacrifice, unselfishness and tolerance!

      You both put in your quota and pray God makes it full!

      It is never luck ooo Àwé, sé o gbó?

      Good!

      Delete
    4. Well said, Anonymous 17:46 and Uberhaute, marriage is definitely no luck. I'm still young in marriage: we've been married for 18years and I can tell you we're still learning daily. Even though God has constantly been our daily source from where we pull our strength.

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    5. Anon 17:46 yes maturity and understanding is the key, that is why i married an older man,i wanted a smooth marriage, i didn't care about looks from younger guys,glad he is very comfy too

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    6. My dear, age doesn’t necessarily translate to maturity. That’s how my friend used to sing, ‘ I want an older man cos they’re mature’, he married this one, 10 years old.... Today, Na everyday cry. Older man wey petty pass small pikin, tufia

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    7. Gbam!!! I was of that mindset too and I dated a guy almost 10 years older. He definitely wasn’t matured. He just thought he was the only valid person on the planet. The world began and ended with him. He’s disrespectful even to his elder ones except his eldest sister. The fact that I had a valid opinion seemed to irritate him. He was well established and so am I but he seemed to think the world just revolved around him. If I had an opinion that differs from his, na trouble. Even about inconsequential things like movies and movie characters. It was so bad that If I predict that a character would do something and he predicts differently then the character in the movie does what I predicted, his ego would feel wounded that I was right and he was wrong- on top movie o! And he would start giving me attitude or even complain and talk down at me for the rest of the day. I had to strip myself of personality and intelligence to fit into his world. I had planned that the first person I sleep with would be my forever person at 31+ while he was 40+ But I had to ask myself if na like this e go dey dey? And called it quits. He disturbed me for a year even after I started dating other people. He kept apologizing and asking for my time. I told him I wasn’t mad at him but I just wasn’t interested anymore. He couldn’t believe I could leave him because he knew of my plan to marry my first plus I was not that experienced with men etc. I later married hubby 3 years ago. He’s total opposite from my ex plus he’s 2 years younger than me but definitely more emotionally and behaviorally matured than my older ex.

      Delete
  4. I agree with her abeg "life is not that hard...and we all have different threshold levels of tolerance and pain'.
    It's never easy but we'll be positive and try our best.

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  5. Wow the both look good together.

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  6. Lots of respect for this lady since Violated. I love how she didn't form my marriage is perfect and dish advice here and there.

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    Replies
    1. My dear she is absolute sincere.
      I respect that any day, any time.
      Not the one that will be forming ehn I've been married gbo gbotigbo years, my husband and I hf nefa argued. Lmaoooo.
      Continue deceiving yourselves.
      Even TWINS argue.

      Delete
  7. Bottomline, there is life after divorce......if it makes you unhappy to the point that your peace of mind and sanity is about to be affected, please remove your self from that situation.

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  8. 'There is life after a divorce 'thank u joke.i nearly run mad that even after the divorce sometimes I found myself doing something I don't know like I will start throwing away my clothes and shoes chei this life.

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  9. Good to hear that, I so much love this couple.

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  10. Marriage is indeed work... You both need to work on yourselves and get better for each other daily

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  11. Marriage is not a joke and weak hearted

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  12. Marriage is both underrated and overrated.

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  13. Your sincerity is top notch ma, nothing like keeping it real and honest.
    One of my favorite couples/actor, anytime!

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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