Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Friday, December 28, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmm.......







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HOUSEHOLD BILL SPLITTING FORMULAR


Hello Mrs Korkus,


Thank you for this platform, I have been reading your blog for years now but on a silent note. Please, I will like to remain anonymous.


Here is my concern(s) based on my Bff narrative, I will like you to use your red pen as well as advice from the BVs. 

What's the best/fair formula when it comes to splitting household bills between married couple earning equal salaries, where the Man of the house is Nigerian with the mentality that his wife must do every house chores/keeping and cooking regardless of her Job, even if he's watching movies. 


When the couple work in the same company and earns same salary amount, the man in this case want the household expenses split 50/50, even prenatal and delivery bills split between him and his wife equally(50/50). 

The couple are expecting their second child. 

Please what is the best approach to have this issue resolved between them as she doesn't want to overreact.
Thank you.



*My mentality regarding issues like this is so different....I do what needs to be done when it needs to be done and dont wait for any man to give me money to do it....Sometimes i get even ten times what i spent back,sometimes i dont but i am cool with how we run the home...besides you know its different abroad and not everything demands instant cash or demands cash at all.

If she can afford footing the bill 50/50 what is the big deal?where was it written that the man has to do it all?So he should pay for all and she will do what with her money?This mentality some of you Nigerian women have need to be flushed down the drain abeg!!!
If this is also your table,please dont come for me,like i said,i have another mentality and i am sorry i find yours wrong!!!

114 comments:

  1. Do your own and be happy. If luckily the husband is the type that wants to take full responsibility of God home, it's all good then.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This story is as fake as it came, another person trying to stair up another gender war. It’s not possible for a man to ask for 50/50 and still want his wife to do all the domestic work. It’s pure fake. Try another method.

      Delete
    2. My dear, what the woman should do is,employ someone to do the house chores, they will also split the bills so they both can watch television very well. I don't know the kind of advice Stella gives at times. So she should split the bills equally with him,why she runs the home 100 percent. I hate crafty people and I prayed against having one for a spouse and God answered me. Hubby and I don't even discuss this type of rubbish. How will I just be recovering from the trauma of child bearing and you will come and tell me honey bring your 50 percent let me go and settle the hospital bill. Oshi yamayama.

      Delete
    3. Stella your case is different. This one up there does not want to get involved with house chores but want 50/50 sharing formula?? Lailai I no go gree. So when it comes to spending he realizes that it should be from both parties but he suddenly develops paralysis when it comes to helping at home abi. The woman should not allow that. Spoilt brat oshi.

      Delete
    4. Thank you anon 15:37, just what I was about typing. I will employ people to carry out all the house chores and make him pay his 50% too. Everyone rests.

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    5. An in 15:37, may you live long. Oshisco raise to power ten.
      Orimiko.

      Delete
    6. Loool... thank you Anon 15:37
      I don’t have a problem splitting bills but we must split housework. No one person was born a fool. I dislike men who want to split bills but will not split housework. Or women who want to split housework but will never split bills

      Delete
    7. Anon 15 :37. You have said it as it is. Stella is not wrong either. When you marry a crafty person, that's what you get. I do what needs to be done. Personally I don't even wait for hubby to bring money for food or bills. When am on cash, I just go to the market and same with him.

      Delete
    8. Anon 15 :37. You have said it as it is. Stella is not wrong either. When you marry a crafty person, that's what you get. I do what needs to be done. Personally I don't even wait for hubby to bring money for food or bills. When am on cash, I just go to the market and same with him.

      Delete
    9. They should split everything equally, they should also get helps which he has to agree to, so that they can both relax as the lords of their house, since everything is shared.
      The bills should be shared down to dstv and gas refills, even the domestics help salaries, or else the woman will be the mumu in that marriage.
      If they man isn’t willing to help out with the kids or chores then they should pay for it all, splitting bills equally, down to the T

      Delete
    10. Stella is wrong for saying the mentality is wrong cos she’s judging based on her own experience and saying hers is best when she hasn’t put herself in the other person’s shoes.

      You see some of these men, they will frustrate a woman to her grave. If you don’t put your foot down, they will work you like a jackass.

      Wisdom is profitable to direct. If you like let a man use your head, you will look older than your years and he will be out there forming young and zaddy!

      Delete
    11. Let me relax and read opinions of hypochrists aka ANTI FEMINISTS!!!

      Is this not the kinda madness feminism is helping you silly women fight???

      They go upandan everywhere screaming I am not a feminist; yet it is rooted in their blood!

      Poster if you ever criticised feminism; please relax and enjoy the food you cooked. Yes he OWNS you ooo. Your salary is 100 percent his own, you have to CLEAN everywhere alone, make fresh soup daily and always be ready to have sex and pack his poo. Who even gave you guts to complain? What are you even doing on sdk with a phone? He is your master and you are a loyal servant for life. #nonsense

      Everytime I see women attacking feminism (so that they will look wifable πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚) I weep for them. You all have absolutely no idea what these male folks wanna do with you all. If you had any idea; you will forever be grateful to feminists. Silly lots...

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    12. Anon 15:37 πŸ™πŸΎπŸ™πŸΎπŸ™πŸΎ you just solved the whole issue. Poster get someone to do the chores and split the bills 50/50 just like every other bill. Shikena.

      Delete
  2. If they split Bills 50/50 then they should share house chores equally.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly! I hate it when men try to Dodge their responsibilities. Mtchewwww... God created women as helpers not slaves. Poster don't start what you can't finish. I'm not saying you shouldn't contribute but at least he is the man of the house. He should do the needful. This is one of he reasons why most women hide their salary from their husband. They don't tell their husband the amount they're being paid to avoid stories like this

      Delete
    2. You see why a lot of you girls will stay VERY LONG in the shelves and use your own hands to pack up you marriage in
      a matter of weeks? Words like "man's responsibility, house chores equally etc." do it.

      Suffice it to say that there is no courtship anymore where these kinds of issues are discussed. All you do is fkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkf

      Delete
    3. Anonymous 15:44, you are very correct all they do now is fkfkfkfkfkfkfkf, hahahahahahahaha.

      Delete
    4. Anon, that’s a silly comment. If you don’t want to help with housework then be a ‘Nickname cannon’!!!!

      Be a provider and protector, REGARDLESS of your wife’s pockets! And then trust me, she won’t even mention house chores to you. In fact she’ll organise the home in such a way that you guys will have time for the kids and have enough time to frolick together

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    5. Shut up...hows fukkkkkkkkiiiinnnggg your business

      Delete
  3. When you all claim feminism.


    Allow the man be the head and you the neck.

    The neck knows how to turn the head. The man should man up and pay the bills. He is the head.

    Madam do the little you can. It is Oga duty to provide everything

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Y so daft?

      How did feminism enter here now? What are you doing on sdk if you are not a feminist?

      Non feminists are NOT allowed to use phones, drive cars, go to school etc. If you indulge in any of these; kindly seat your ass strong on your feminist chair ma'm and OWN it.

      #hypochrists

      Delete
    2. Anon, what is hypochrists please? Is that your name? Just a question o.
      Meanwhile, where was it stated that non-feminists shouldn’t do all that? Who is the author of that book? I’ve never really taken time to read about all this feminism/feminist or whatever you people call it, because I donot wish to be associated with what I donot understand. Guess it is time to do some reading.

      Anyway, It is not right for things to be 50-50 between you two, especially if you are doing all you have stated up there, and still work. A man’s got to take up some responsibilities around the home. However, if you are part of the group that believes what a man can do, a woman can do better, then it is time to live it.
      There is nothing communication can’t fix. They should talk about it.

      Delete
  4. Stella from the chronicle, she said that the man wont help with house chores but want the bills to be split 50-50. Who does that? If you feel entitled as the man of the house with such African mentality that your wife does all the chores, then you should also be ready to foot the whole bills as the African man you are. Otherwise the man should help out at home, then the wife can help with the bills too. Is as simple as that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stella if they split the bills, then they split the housework too.
      In my house thats what we do ohwe split every single thing..finances and house work. I don't o market runs, wash bathroom, sweep house, empty dustbin.
      I cook, do laundry (machine dey) feed d kids, bath them, do homework change aipers..other stuff as well. Mop house na me
      Na so we split finances too. I pay for daipers, gas, light, fuel, house services, contribute half sch fees some other stuff..dstv
      So na so e be.. No matter how much d bathroom gets dirty i won't wash it..not my job, cos i will be cooking and will be called to change daipers.
      So poster send this link to the husband, its not to sit down and watch TV and expect 50% expenses split.
      Like queen and boss says, only a wealthy man that carries all the expenses is suppose to be free from housework..

      Delete
    2. That's just the fact o. Can't deal mehn... End time husband!

      Delete
    3. @Bianca may you live long.πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
      Useless Buffons everywhere claiming Godsent to women. I can't deal mehn.

      Delete
    4. I believe that no matter what, a man should be the one to pay his wife’s hospital bills for delivery. Just like he is the one to pay bride price.
      Call me names of you want but where’s the respect for a man who tells his wife to bring her half for child delivery bill?

      Tueh!!!

      I go taunt you tire the day you wan make mouth...

      Delete
  5. Stella I for gree with you but you nor come address the other side wey be sey the man go hang leg, watch television, while madam with same salary and job as him go do all house work, cook, born and still split her money. Na wa ooo. God continue to help women.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Im telling you. Nigerian women are the real MVPs oh. That man is wicked. If na me i go just dey put laxatives for your food. You go dey purge steady..i have no type for wicked stingy people. If you cant carry thr whole bills, then wash plates ,feed kids, go market, cook, do home worl. Bathe kids.

      Delete
    2. It's just bcos the man knows the wife's salary that's why. No wonder some women don't tell their husband the real amount they are being paid

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    3. Modella my husband knows how much I earn but he won't try this shit with me. I shan't take it, na garri we go dey soak chop go bed everyday. My mother did not sell me into slavery in the name of marriage.

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    4. Danity issa savage abeg lwkmd

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  6. I'd prefer to foot quarter of any bill. The man can handle the rest. At all at all....

    ReplyDelete
  7. If the man can't share 'her own responsibilities', then she shouldn't share his too.

    ReplyDelete
  8. They buy hair and designers and fix their body! Mtchewwww

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  9. I disagree with you Stella. You bluntly refused to say anything about helping out with chores and the kids. My take is this, if he wants everything to be 50/50, no problem, chores and other things would be 50/50. With his crude Nigerian mentality that it's a woman job to do absolutely everything in the house without him helping out once in a while in the house, then he must be reminded that it's a man's job to pick up bills. All bills should be paid by him, simple.

    ReplyDelete
  10. A man who does not provide for the family is worse than an ???????
    Lets split child bearing too! Foolish men!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Namesake,take it easy jor, calling men foolish is wrong.

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    2. Worse than an infidel jawe @miss Juliet

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  11. A Nigerian mentality or what God has commanded?
    A wife is a helper! Not the bread winner. And na these kain men can like scream'i'm the head,i'm the head'! Shioor!

    Sdk,we'v seen your input. Why didn't you also address the chores issue? Or you choose to jump and pass that part?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tell you. The man knows what he is doing. He wants to act smart. Poster pls shine your eyes. Don't be deceived! Women are helpers to their husband. They are not the bread winners

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  12. I pray i will never meet such a man.The man is the head of the house.The sharing formula should be 60-40.I don't know wot couples discuss in courtship. The bill can only be 50-50,if the man is financially incapacitated. A woman is meant to taken care of like an egg.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which head?? Are they acting like head of the house these days?? Some men are so damn lazy they sit and feed off women these days. I know some who won’t even give their wives a dime. Too wicked mehn.
      My take is, if you share bills, then the chores should be shared equally too. Chikena!!

      Delete
  13. Where do you guys meet these men. LORD JESUS may i never step foot where they meet these men.
    Amen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Such men prefer to spend their money on hoes outside. Mtcheew

      Delete
  14. Let them split the house chorse too ahhh ahhh, at least the man should be helping her out at home na

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  15. stella is obsessed with siding men so no surprises here. how can she split bills 50% and do 100% chores. that is slavery. he wants to be a traditional man then he should foot all the bills or pay for domestic help. this is ridiculous. and i'm sure he acts like he pays for most things. tomorrow he'll tell you to pack out of 'his' house that you fund equally, and the woman too will leave. na wa

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  16. I will tell you what works for us. My husband earns more than me, I contribute financially but not 50/50. All our projects back is my husband’s responsibility and he never ask for support for it.
    As for house chores, my husband supports me with it because I can’t work full time and still do it alone.

    Stella, what you wrote up there is one if the reasons why many marriages don’t work abroad. Most ladies that join their husband abroad believe that has this mentality of “my money is for me” and there husband’s money is for the family. Selfish lots.

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  17. Calm down.everything should be 50/50.nobody send you to wash plates or sweep.if you eat,wash your plate same with the man.if you dont feel like sweeping..leave it when the man wants to sweep..he shouls.you ladies are so complex.Godforbid.stop making issues out of nothing.if u are married.it is a 50/50 thing..cook your meals...eat..enjoy yourself.even if you dont wana cook for the man..m sure guy man go find a way to eat.simple.when both the men and women go outside Gods ordainwd roles..then problem starts coming in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Husband will start to be forming fight na. If they dont cook for him and clean his shoes, it will look like his maid/wife has betrayed him, all hell will let loose and things wont be the same again. Use ur head, the traditional nigerian man behaves entitled to be cared after, just like the nigerian woman too behaves she shud be spent for. Its a naija crase, however if people wanna behave like westerners, they should apply d full rules.

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    2. what planet are you from? your analogy is not practical...at least not in an average Nigerian home. The woman should not sweep so her husband and third parties can call her dirty,right? She should not cook so her in-laws can let hell loose on her head, right? Issokay

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  18. Stella my love address the house chores part as well na'

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sister,i wan ask oh..if the man bring all the money..werrin the woman dhey use money do?shey una dhey claim feminist...guys are getting wise..pay bills 50/50 that way equation is balanced.stop cookong or doing chores if you dony feel like.get a maid and contribute for her salary 50/50.same with a cook too.life is simple.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They will get a sorrogate mom too, to carry the pregnancies, you think it moi-moi to birth a baby... mtcheew, a man that can not provide for his family is worse than an infidel, the Bible said it not me. Period!

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    2. Get a surrogate Mum to carry the pregnancies too and push out the baby while you split The bill, even the Bible says that a man that can to provide for his family is worse than an infidel,

      Delete
  20. Lazy ass useless hunchback everywhere claiming husband. If you marry anyone of these hunchback as husband your life will never be straight again physically, spiritually, financially,sexually. They will distort your life with their own distorted soul. Tueh on such men. Any guy that want to share bill 50/50 with the wife at home is a shameless hunchback even if your wife earns more than you,you're still supposed to provide for your household as stated by the holy Bible if not you're worst than an infidel. Any hunchback that demands for shared bill should also get shared house chores duty respectively. He must cook,clean the toilet, prepare children for SCH,go to the market etc. Damn!!!! I can't stand such men. Women married to such entitled men unah doooh oooh.

    ReplyDelete
  21. This issue caused split in my home. We were splitting bills equally but woman was doing everything regarding kids care and house chores. When i demanded the man helped, He was pissed and said never, he is the head and cant be sharing chores washing dishes. He said he can help if i ask lovingly once a while, but hey i share d bills without complaining, why should i beg you to do chores. 2 years on, dude helps but I resent him. He reported me to all and sundry, saying am now proud, i cant cook and clean cos i am forming feminist, forming abroadian. @poster, you need to stop fighting about chores, do the chores and pick quarter of d bills, and say that all ur money goes to childcare or something. If not, he will report you to everone and people will hate you for the one sided story, esp if you are like me who doesnt talk much. I made a mistke with mine, i was carrying most of d bills but i was internally resenting him, now i just ignore him and love is sour in our home now.

    ReplyDelete
  22. 2 bleesed 2 curse28 December 2018 at 15:39

    So he doesnt want to split house chores but wants bills splitted equally mmmmmm oga solomon wisest man of the universe, creator and president of fifty fifty welldone sir.Some men see themselves as the Lion of the tribe of judah.Nawa your husband should be kind enough to help with house chores it wont kill him just as splitting the bills wont kill you.

    Bf was like babe please can you help me wash the car this morning ?

    I was like i dont understand wash your car?i look like car wash? As what nahhh prove of wife material? Tomorrow you will tell me to wwah the compound or the wall. No follow me joke this kin joke again.he stood there looking at me.mutcheeew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. You sure told him! Na so wan BV talk sey wan girl come cook, come wash, come wash baffroom jion, come wound. Her boify still dump am. Wife material my foot.

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    2. LMAO. But that your bf dey craze ni? Inukwa wash his car?

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    3. 2blessed oshe gan, don't start what you can't keep up with abeg

      Delete
  23. Madam, supposing you are sacked from that your job today?
    Supposing oga is sacked, the bills will stop being paid?
    Supposing both of you are sacked?
    See, this "my money", his money only shows that there is no marriage existing.
    Both of you are just cohabiting; friends of convenience! And after, you will be
    chanting "I love you, honey, sweetie . . ." and all those nonsense; things you do
    not mean at all. What is love that seeks her own; selfish? Is love selfish?
    Both of you need to sit down and talk and re-discover yourselves and begin a
    marital relationship; the two being one!

    ReplyDelete
  24. we live in London, my husband pays house rent , pays his credit cards and other bill. I pay council tax, groceries shopping, myphone bill , i charge gas and light weekly ,and my car insurance. a lot of times , hubby go to African shop and do loads of shopping too. so to me there is no biggie in sharing bills. its understanding that matters. infact i got a huge payout this month nd hubby asked if i can help him pay house rent and i oblige to do it immediately because he is a giver , i can get double of that later. hubby pays 1000£ bills a month, while i pay 500£. atleast i work and get childrens benefit money. mind you, hubby was doing all of this when i wasnt working but as soon as i started working , i took some of the bills off him

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sis you are a good woman. May God bless you for helping your husband UK no easy o. May your home be forever blessed in Jesus name amen.

      I am a woman in the UK and i admire you sis because this is how it should be done not a man telling me 50 50 mbanu

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    2. Your husband is not like this horseband that is asking for 50/50

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    3. Again, your case is different.
      1, your husband supports in every way he can.
      2, your sharing formula is not 50/50.
      Poster's husband is shady as heck.

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    4. loool i know right. me i always say i cant pay house rent if i am married. hubby have to pay house rent and then we can share other bills if need be. atleast he picks up the kids from school everyday after work while am at work, he helps me when i request. sometimes he even babysit while i go to party. he is well matured and 10 years older than me

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    5. It is NOT babysitting when it is you’re child!!!!!!!

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  25. How many men are even up to their responsibilities these days? Even the 50% they cannot give. Nigeria women shoulder 95% if not 100%. At my place of work I see women applying for loans up and down and if you request for the purpose of this loan,some schoolfees, house rent, hospital bill etc and you will be wondering if these women are singles or widows but hey they are married women, some have not even paid for the Loan they are serving when they will apply for another one simply because the husband is contributing Nada in the home. May God help Nigeria women. The stress on them is too much

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are the realest of them all. Stella saying why is 50:50 bad, do you know if you see a Nigerian home happy and prosperous, most of the tine it is because the woman is carrying over 90% of the burden (financial and sweat equity o!!). I see hones here in Europe where men only work and the women are a shadow of themselves, meanwhile, if the reverse is the case, the men are loving, and their wife even pamper them and give them money for guy and their extended family responsibilities. Stella, women are heroes o!! I have three sons and will never raise them to do 50:50 kai! Mba!

      Delete
  26. Poster don't take the advice of ladies on this blog most of them have broken marriages, others are unmarried for reason of bad attitude.
    In the first place how dare you run a separate account from your husband. the fact that you even contemplating such issue show your rebellion tendencies.

    how dare you talk of sharing house chores with your husband is that what your mother taught you?

    your husband Is the leader no matter how bad you feel about it you just have to submit.
    if I'm your husband I should have divorced you long ago. Stella I love you

    ReplyDelete
  27. All of you girls come to this blog without learning. You hail Stella; nwanyioma, nice job you are doing etc. but when she tells you girls the truth like above, you choose the ones to do and keep churning out chronicles. We'd keep reading anyway.

    If one has chosen above (all men or) ladies to live with "this fellow' as a life partner in love; then love is all about sharing. When one say "my husband's money" or "my money" is it not an anomaly? when one shares everything intimate (including sex); if they can't have funds together; where is the oneness? Hasn't the aim of marriage been defeated? The issue of oneness is in sharing everything. The excuses many give is "I don't trust her to know how much I earn or am worth". If one is a follower of Christ; who did Jesus give "his wallet"; was it not Judas? How much trust did Jesus have for Judas? These are some of the issues that intending spouses should define in courtship.
    On a personal note; my husband and I had a common "account" from the moment I accepted to marry him. He decided to put me in charge of every financial spending. He makes contributions and there is no issues about that. There is no account that we have had since marriage that bears one person's name and the mandate is "either to sign". WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT "HIS MONEY" "MY MONEY" hasn't the purpose of marriage been defeated?
    Finances usually breeds quarrel among couples and the taste of the pudding is in the eating. Married for more than a decade an NEVER ARGUED is our testimony by the grace of God. When there is concealment of finances, the lady makes demands, suspect the husband of keeping a concubine etc. But when the two are open to each other in the way described above; thee will be no room for mutual suspicion!

    A couple I know lived financially apart. The man is reasonably well to do but the wife dared not ask or "take his money". He gave her "handout" of money from time to time; monthly allowances etc. All his businesses were solely in his name. He took ill and his doctor gave him a damning health verdict and he had a surgery fixed. He knew that he may not come out of the theater alive. He quickly summoned his wife and took her to all his accounts and made it Joint and she could sign. Made his kids 'next of kin" in all the accounts and re-registered all his businesses with the wife's name inclusive. Even the financial aspect of the surgery and bills, the wife was in charge. He told her, "If I do not come out of the theater alive, sell all the exotic cars and keep just two" etc. IT WAS NO LONGER AN ISSUE OF THE WIFE TAKING "HIS MONEY"; THE WOMAN WAS IN CHARGE. He confessed certain misdeeds to the lady and they prayed together and he got into the theater. AFTER 9 HOURS OF SURGERY, the news came . . . he survived it! It was this singular experience that changed his attitude towards family finances as concerns his wife. She knew about every penny that dropped or left the "family business" as it became.

    Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." (Luke twelve vs. fifteen)

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    Replies
    1. Oga Franck well done, continue with this your teaching, using bible verse as usual to deceive people. continue

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    2. @16:20:
      I wrote that thing up there, my name is neither Franck nor am I male okay?

      Delete
    3. Na lady Igo. But madam, we must not always agree with Stella nau.

      Delete
  28. Split the financial responsibility 50-50, split the domestic responsibilities 50-50. Give a man with such mentality 3months and he will submit his 100 percent and take his eyes off your money.....Stella na akogheri sometimes

    ReplyDelete
  29. The word of God says, a man who cannot provide for his family is worse than an INFIDEL. if she is splitting then the house chores should be split as well. what arrant nonsense. better still employ a Cook and cleaner. he pays the cleaner you pay the Cook. end of problem. delivery you bring half he brings half. every fucking bill, bring half and let him pay up the other half. when you are pregnant carry 4.5 months and shift the remaining to him. He is not a man as far as I'm concerned. its not by force for the woman to contribute. whose name am I bearing? this has nothing to do with entitlement. how is a man different from a boy?

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    Replies
    1. @15:58
      "You are in error NOT knowing the scripture nor the power of God". The woman was created to be help mate for the man and that scripture you quoted there was wrongly placed. Let's see:
      1 Timothy 5:8 ANYONE who DOES not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

      There is a difference between "does" and "can't". And the word is "ANYONE"/RELATIVES. It never mentioned "man". And it is an age long practice of "not forgetting ones flesh and blood". Look at the scriptures:

      Isaiah 58:6“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

      to loose the chains of injustice

      and untie the cords of the yoke,

      to set the oppressed free

      and break every yoke?

      7Is it not to share your food with the hungry

      and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—

      when you see the naked, to clothe them,

      and NOT TO TURN AWAY FROM YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD?

      Delete
    2. What is this one yarning now? In your entire epistle up there, you still didn’t mention where it says that the man must share all bills and childbirth expenses 50-50 with his wife but sit down to watch tv when it comes to house chores.

      Delete
  30. A woman is meant to be a helper and not a co-breadwinner. The man is to toil and provide and the woman is to suffer the pains of childbirth(na so God share the thing) I plan on being a helpful wife financially,but my financial responsibility will be to augment whatever my husband is to provide. If he can bring home the dough, I should be able to bake bread and add Butter and Egg to the bread. I do not belief in all these formulae because they always serve as a breeding ground for dispute,contempt and the likes. In essence, men should provide and women should augment.

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  31. Foolish and irresponsible men everywhere! I'm beyond livid!
    @ anon 15:35, he should also report me to Jesus. What rubbish! The things you guys endure just to stay married. Inukwa! Tueh!
    Please poster, tell that woman in question to hire a help. She and her horseband should also foot the bill. She is not a slave. #wifenotslave.
    Ladies, please love yourself so much so that your aura rejects anything that isnt in conformity.

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  32. thank you so much for this,@anon 15:41.. I swear, people don't understand what it means when it says "two shall become one"
    it means, there's no "my" anymore..
    both the man and the woman need to rearrange their ways of thinking...
    if you're married and still count the things you do for your spouse, then you dunno what you're doing!


    ©student_bv

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hear you. Until the glass is empty and there is nothing to give again. Maybe then the husband and family will live on her corpse? Tufiakwa!!! Women are not beasts of burden but also humans. Some men actually don't care if they work their spouses to the ground, chanting that they are the HEADS and contributing less and less to the home. God bless all the good and reasonable men out there.

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    2. Yes! You are very correct! Now turn to all the men and let them know this.

      Delete
  33. Let me go anonoymous on this. If you find a man that can provide for you as a woman then you should be grateful to God. My dad is the total opposite and no remorse at all. He doesn't provide a dime...sometimes he brings to the table 20k for upkeep for a family of 7 and that is for the entire month o. On top of that 20k,he will be selecting food upandan. My mum is hypertensive courtesy of the emotional abuse she is suffering with him. Do I talk about his philandering ways in which his girlfriends call my mum to insult her or do I talk about his siblings that have zero regard for my mum.... From one story to another all in bid to paint her black. He knows the truth but will never call them to order. This Christmas,he didn't bring a dime to the table (for monthly upkeep or for the celebration) but as usual he let hell loose cos he asked for lunch and it wasn't ready as at when he asked. This morning, he gave my mum 10k to leave his house. My sisters and I have ganged up that we also must leave. For once, we will stand up against this monster that will not allow our mother have some peace. I can't help but cry to God to elevate us from this mess. My business is not booming and no jobs. I belief in the God of 11th hour. Sorry Stella,I really needed to vent out my grieve. To all the single ladies out there, beware of Bachama men, they most times turn out to be terrible husbands. Dear daddy,. Mr *** your old age will be miserable because you have laid a bed of destruction,wickedness and have burnt all Your Olive branches even toward your children. None of your colleagues or past students (I am sure those who schooled or are schooling in Kadpoly will easily decode you) in your department have anything positive to say about you. Are you possessed? Are you in cult? Don't you have conscience?

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    Replies
    1. My question is, why did your mom stay in an emotional abusive environment? Why did she marry him in the first place? See what torture you guys are going through! I’m sure you’re also damaged and view all men as bad men. I hope you won’t marry someone like your dad so this cycle stops. It’s so sad reading this.

      Delete
  34. My husband doesn’t have a job now, so I pay all the bills including taking care of his mum and siblings. The dude will sleep from night till 3pm and always expect me to go prepare food for him when I get back from work at night. On weekends, I always cook soups and stew and put in the fridge, so it will be easier for him to get them out and warm. To be honest, I do make food for him when I get back from work but some days I won’t just feel like going to the kitchen. So one night, I came back from work tired and collapsed into the bed only for him to ask me for food. Meanwhile there is soup and also stew in the fridge but he couldn’t just go boil water in an electric kettle and make garri and he’s a good cook. He used to cook good foods when he was living alone. I told him my mind that night and he sat up properly. Now he makes food for himself and I dwanna make for him too.

    Just waiting for him to pass his medical exam and start work. Bills will be 70 for him 30 for me. And he will still help with house chores. You are the head of the family shouldn’t only be verbal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The earlier women learn to speak up when they aren't comfortable with something, the better. She the way your story changed immediately you did. I keep wondering why women are so scared to speak up, when they aren't married to monsters.

      Delete
    2. 16:35 this is what I was saying earlier, any home abroad where there is peace, I mean Nigerian homes o, the woman is carrying a heavy burden more than her man. I know a couple, the man is a doctor abroad, he worked with agencies so his salary is very high. His wife was unable to work for maaany years cos they were in a remote area and the system was frustrating, no work cane for her and the few Nigerians there didn’t need services like child minding etc that she could do. This man put mortgage in his name, helped his mother and siblings even if they didn’t ask (they are very rich too but kept taking from their brother). He didn’t give the woman’s family pin! Her mum was sick and later died in short the story no be here! The man was acquiring properties in his name and keeping the docs with his siblings in Nigeria. The woman suffered, had to leave him and got a scholarship to a better European country when she got her citizenship. Now the man wants to get back with her. Please, women are trying o!! Most Nigerian women abroad are going through a lot to keep their homes together.

      Delete
    3. Ladies stop babying a man, you will meet men that can fend for themselves but later turn them to babies in the name of pampering your husbands, with men, you better don’t start what you cannot finish.
      Sometimes I want to pity my hubby and help out more but when I think of it becoming my job I hold back abeg. Imagine a grown ass man will wait for you to get home at night to give him eba? Hunger never catch am

      Delete
  35. its not possible, how can he split even maternity bills itnto 2 ? are you sure he didnt live in the abroad and the mentality has taken over him? i will dislike such husband. the husband is stingy, God bless my own husband oπŸ™πŸΎπŸ™πŸΎhe always make sure we are always okay even if he doesnt buy anything for himself. if he was bills shared, then he should share all responsibilities too shikena. share home chores too

    ReplyDelete
  36. My husband don't allow me pay bills, I don't know if its an ego thing, if I buy foodstuff, he will ask for the bill n credit me, if I buy him a gift on his birthday, he will ask for d price n credit me, if I fuel d cars n gen, he credit me, sometimes he asks me to lend him money and when he returns it, when i gave birth, he was away n paid my med bills, he credited me twice d amount, hes too happy n carefree, I'm not complaining, but sometimes I wonder why he does it, I sell garri in bags whilst he has his own company, so i dont know if its pity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sis abeg does he af a brother or sister that is single abeg introduce me

      Delete
    2. That is a HUSBAND.....as in a correct made in heaven God sent HUSBAND. You see those ones splitting bills are called. horseband. How do I even roll with a boyfriend that tells me that obce we get married we 50/50 bills, how and where did I meet him? It is wrong and not an African thing. 90% of us grew up seeing our father's taking full responsibility of the home and it's welfare. It's this our generation I see women feeding the home and paying house rents and you see the man of the house at home all day doing nothing. Some even steal the wife's money or lie to take from her and go catch fun with another woman.

      Delete
    3. Lucky you, my husband is also very generous. When we started I was earning more than him still he gave me money monthly, paid some of my bills including monthly gifts and paid vacations. Before I married him I was so worried as he had children and not enough money, I didn't want someone that will come and be using my money to train his children.
      He now earns more than me and pays for nearly every single thing only because I refuse to allow him pay for all my bills as I have my own money and investments. Although I do the cleaning most times because I cannot stand a dirty environment but I am, always on a diet so he does the cooking everything ;-)).
      And yes we will in the UK.

      Delete
    4. You don't know if it is pity? Oya borrow me ya husband, lol πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ

      Delete
    5. Your hubby na man!
      Lmao @ anon 17:15

      Delete
  37. What works for one, may not work for another. Study the man you married and work out how best to handle financial matters.

    If there is real love between you, things like this won't be a problem. Sharing everything in half with a calculator and asking the other person for their own part just makes marriage love like a business partnership.

    You both can draw a financial plan based on your salaries and what each person should take care of.
    Your hubby can pay house rent and utility bills, while to buy groceries and food stuff.

    Also, silently avoid the syndrome of "your money, my money stratification". Nothing kills love faster than this.

    As for house chores, I feel your pains. However, this is Africa where men are asked to get married as their ticket to homemade meals. My dear you have to find a way to adjust. Get a weekend help to assist in bulk cooking and house chores. That way, you wont be overwhelmed during the week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many many marriages today are business partnerships, nor be lie. Hence above issues. Even on first date, guyman go dey ask where you dey work, how much you dey earn, wetin your fada dey do? Mtcheew. E be like sey love wantintin na with k leg now.

      Delete
  38. This is why I thank God for blessing me with the man I prayed for. Please ladies, be VERY specific in prayers. My husband doesn’t ever sleep on me, he is very supportive. Love is an act not a noun. He wants to pay for everything and help to do all the chores, I don’t need to ask or say anything. I totally disagree that a man shouldn’t do any chores and then try to play the “I am the head” card....actually as a head, you exemplify!!!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Stella, you conveniently skipped telling us that you do 100% of the house chores right? You answered the woman’s question partially. I can work as hard as you do, bring as much money as you do or even more and then you expect me to do all house chores alone. Then when I start looking like you mother, people will say I didn’t take care of myself. African woman dey suffer sha.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Help Oga to the rescue

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  41. That is because some men of today are truly useless. I wanted a typical Nigeria man with Igbo cultures and traditions yet westernised in his thinking and God blessed me with exactly what I wanted. I waited till I was 35 years old before I met him and is was really worth the wait.
    I cannot come and kill myself all in the name of marriage and there is no way my beautiful life will be worst because I marry.
    Ladies pray and wait for your own husband to avoid stories like this. My husband pays the bills, does food shopping more than me, me I clean and pay some bills some times and he cooks because I no sabi cook.
    Every day I thank God for not be pressurised into marrying simply because a man asked me.

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    Replies
    1. Awww. God bless ya guy, hoping mine will be same way, we havent had that discussion yet.

      Delete
  42. She even see who wan share 50% with her she no thank God. My own won't even take 5%. Babe you're damn lucky!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God forbid if this is what you term being lucky. I reject it.

      Delete
  43. Don't start what you can't finish.
    Before marriage, who was doing the chores?
    For bills, I think the guy is trying to be too smart here. But then, did you discuss this while dating? If you never did then the reason why you are having this issue. The problems will not go away probably until one of you leave the establishment.

    Women! Women!! Women!!! Don't kiss a man with your eyes closed. These are issues that should be addressed during courtship. Not after marriage.

    ReplyDelete

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