Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

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Friday, January 04, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

Hmmmmmmmm....







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SHORT AND NICE VERSUS TALL AND STINGY


Good evening SDk. Thanks for all that you do and for this segment. I've been procrastinating sending this for a while now but let me just do now.


So I've been dating this guy for a long time now since I was in my 2nd year I'm school. We've been together for over 4 years now. When we started dating, he was quite nice to me you know all the things guys do beginning of relationship, he would send money to me sometimes to take care of my needs in school etc but this didn't last for long. He's serious with me and wants to settle down but my dear is this; for a long time we've been dating, he stopped giving me anything when we started dating, he talks about how he'll give the world to his woman etc. But later he changed mouth and starts to complain about women that ask their man for money. 


He'll say are you handicapped, you should be able to take care of yourself. He hates women that expects anything from their man. I don't ever ask him for anything because I work and do business so I can take care of myself. The problem is even if I don't ask him, he never offers to give me even the smallest thing I need his help for. I'll book my flight myself to go see him and when I'm there, I'll use my money to do everything. When I'm leaving, he'll not even give me anything. There was a time I went to visit him and when I was leaving, he gave me 500 Naira ABI it's 2k can't remember. 



He'll promise to do something for me and will never do it. Everything he's promised me for over 4 years now, he's not done any and I dare not remind him because he'll get upset that he hasn't forgotten he's promising me he'll fulfill all.
.
Before anyone says maybe he doesn't have. He has, he's rich, lives in a choice area in the state he stays and is doing very well business wise. Very very well. Most times I just blame myself, maybe it's me that's the problem, I don't worth anything from him. I've grown my business from little to very big and all through he never supported me for once.



 I know he loves me and wants to settle down but I don't think I can cope with a man that doesn't support me or steps in for me once in a while. He even says his wife should be able to take care of herself cos he won't give her anything. When other people call him for help, he will help them but if I ever ask, he'll just ask many questions and never do anything. If I complain, he'll say he didn't think it was neccesary. Even when I wanted to go for a training that would boost my business, I needed little support and he refused to help me that why don't I look for someone that went for the training then pay the person the money I have to teach me what I learned. Hmmmm. I tried my best and joined money to do a training and it shot my business really far.
.


I'm skeptical also because this was how my father neglected my mother when we were growing up, never gave my mum anything and was doing for others. I remember sometime my mum was crying to me that she doesn't know what she did to my father that he doesn't like giving her anything. This gave my mum hypertension. I have been doing miss independent but sometimes I'll be really broke cos I invested my money in my business and I'll not have anyone to ask because Its just him I'm dating and every guy that comes close to me I push them away with 'I'm dating and my man loves me' it's really embarrassing asking them to help me.
.

I didn't see anything with the way he treated me till I met one guy when I had issues with my boyfriend, we started out as friends. The way this guys treats me, he looks at me like an angel. Whenever I need something, he tries to always come through for me. He doesn't have soo much, not as rich as my boyfriend but he gives me his all. We became best friends because I was free with him and told him everything.




 We just started dating like that and it's been amazing i wanted to end it after I reconciled with my boyfriend but I couldn't cos I was already attached to this guy. The little things he does for me means everything to me. I'm not use to guys doing stuffs for me, this is the first time someone is treating me this way. Once in a while, he buys me body spray, it's small but it just shows he cares and always have me in mind. If he has soo much he'll definitely do more. The only problem I have with him is that he's not tall. I'm not a tall person and want to marry a tall man but this guy isn't tall but has a really good heart. The first guy is very tall, handsome and well built.


I know the first guy loves me and wants to settle down with me, this one loves me to but hasn't said anything about settling down with me. He understands women perfectly and he's jus 100%.
.
Please Stella what should I do? I'm thinking of breaking up with my first boyfriend because I'm really tired of all his promises and fail and it's like I don't have anyone. But I don't want to be with this second guy because of height. I want tall kids. Bvs please advise me. I'm scared of making a mistake.



*Na wah oh...I dont even know what to say!!!...Just remember that not all that glitters is gold!!!

113 comments:

  1. That stingy guy should go n sitdown jor, the men that buy whips for their women, do they have two heads? Either u drop one for one or string the two along while u look out, a ur waist go pain u.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let me perch here Blackberry

      Poster this was my story a couple of years ago. The exact situation. Tall handsome stingy guy versus short caring not too rich guy. I was also comfortable like you and didn’t require his money for anything but I knew the whole thing didn’t make sense especially when he gets upset when I ask for the smallest things. Long story short I left after falling in love with the second guy and praying about it. I have no regrets and God had mercy on me and gave me tall kids.

      Delete
    2. Tall guy kill you there
      There’s nothing like love without giving, no one can love you and not give you so no the first guy doesn’t love you, how can he something to make you better and not want to invest yet you say he intends to marry you, marry you so you can start paying your children’s schools fees abi... there’s nothing like real love and this isn’t it

      Delete
    3. Dis a typical case of "Mma di isi adighi nko, nke di nko adighi isi (knife wey get head kno sharp,, while one wey sharp kno get head)

      Delete
    4. My husband and I are of same height glory be to God, my first daughter is tall and I'm sure all our kids will be. there's nothing prayer cannot do and my husband is the best thing and more that's happened to me. he takes care of us, forget height. just ask for God's guidance

      Delete
    5. Poster, I don’t even care about the short guy but why are you with a guy that makes you unhappy. Everyone that I know who complilike this before marriage had it even worse after marriage. You don’t leave a guy because you have someone else or not. You leave because the relationship doesn’t make you happy fullstop. It’s not even about money, it’s about his interest in you as a person or your growth. Marriage is a partnership. You don’t want to be aligned with someone who doesn’t really care whether you succeed or not.

      Delete
    6. D tall n stingy guy dsnt love u missy!
      If someone loves u, d person will care about u n go if not all but almost all mile for u. There's nothing that makes u unhappy that wouldn't give him concern!

      Dnt be scared to DUMP him.
      Try d short guy m if it works out, talk to God abt ur babies being tall.
      After all, he said we should ask, n it shall be given in faith.

      T-baby

      Delete
    7. Dear poster, please don't marry a short man o. Their low-self esteem no be here. Especially if you are taller than he is

      Delete
  2. Dump both of them. Marriage is sweet when there is comfort. Money brings comfort. Neither of them will make you comfortable because the one that has money Wont spend on you whilst the othet is only nice because he lacks money

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The short guy is only being nice because he opened up to him about everything so he knows her weakness. My dear poster the two men are a no go area. The 1st is even better than the second. Please dumb the 2 of them.

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    2. Not necessarily true. My husband shared the little he had with me when my rich stingy ex wouldn’t and today that God has blessed us he hasn’t changed.

      Delete
  3. You've not even started and you've picked faults; "my money, his money, stingy bla bla bla". Is this the leg that cow will use to go to kafanchan?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜πŸ˜‚

      Delete
  4. Go with d short guy.. What can you create???πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”

    If nothing? Then go for d one your heart melts for

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    Replies
    1. Exactly. I married the opposite of my spec because he won my heart and I’ve no regrets because my mind is at rest.

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    2. Her heart is melting for Money.

      Delete
  5. “I don't ever ask him for anything because I work and do business so I can take care of myself. The problem is even if I don't ask him“

    That stares should end with 2018 please

    Are you ticher than Alakija? Why won’t you ask your man for money.

    He has a responsibility to fulfill

    Continue forming Independent and watch him spend on someone else

    I’ll boldk ask and receive from bae. I care not how much my business brings. The only thing I don’t ask for is Uber / Fuel Money

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bless you for that. Imagine him saying he won’t support his wife.

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    2. 1million likes for this your comment.

      Delete
  6. This is really confusing poster. I can totally relate. I'd have advised you to go for the second guy but this one the both of you are short, hmmm... I can't even date a short guy too not to talk of marrying one even though I am tall. apologies to all the short guys here. Ehen poster, the first guy is bad news pls forget his height and all that. if you marry him ehn... na one chance. the second guy is cool but short and you don't want a short guy. Then maybe you should keep searching for a third one since you can't be with both.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What do you know? Pray that life doesn't humble you. That's how people go about talking nonsense

      Delete
  7. What you see now is actually a portion of what you would get after marriage;meaning if he is this way now,he would be worse after tying the knot with you..

    Giving is an attitude @Poster,and there is nothing like "i would change when i marry you"..

    Also,If your basic priorities when searching for a life partner is about being tall and handsome;then you have to really reevaluate and also understand that there is more to life when it comes to choosing a life partner..

    If a man cant go out of his way(and expect nothing) uncountable times just to put a smile on his woman's face;simply know he hasn't being swept off his feet about you..meaning YOU ARE ALONE and the one in LOVE..

    He claims to love you cos you aren't a liability to him,and that isn't True love but more like a situational business contract..

    Wish you the best as you take a positive decision for yourself..

    @MARTINS ABOY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Martins on point

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    2. Nice one Martins. I feel like you just spoke to me also. Yeah, he claims to love because one is not a liability. So true

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    3. best comment so far, that was how I formed miss independent till I saw bf spending on someone in shoprite

      Zainab makas

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    4. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘.

      Delete
    5. Martins there is plenty oil on your head. I was before when she kept saying he loves her, how?. Marry that short guy if you are in love with him o. What if they tall gene in your dna is waiting to express in your children. There is more to life than appearances.

      Delete
    6. Lol. Zainab, you don't mean it?
      Poster take Martin's advice.

      Delete
    7. Martins may all your heart desires come through speedily for you with ease in Jesus name, amen. You didnt only tell the poster the truth but spoke to me as well, God bless you richly!

      Delete
    8. Boyyyy,I picked, GIVING IS AN ATTITUDE!
      Nice one

      Delete
    9. Martins πŸ‘πŸΎ

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    10. Ezigbo nwa ka'ibu. Your head dey there.

      Delete
    11. Chai Zainab kpele, I'm sure your mouth just flew open like that their door sef.
      You can't be forming independent for naija man o, naija man that is kuku looking for how to escape responsibility???

      He will so twist it on your head and you dare not change later o.
      He will say you were behaving in that way to grab him, as a children's toy that he is.

      Drain those motherfuckers as best as you can mehn.
      The one that shares 1 naira with you and is as short as a stool is better than eyin 6 pack- santorino-hot choco milo -sxy-tall-and fly whatever. Na six pack you go chop?
      Marry first na, when hunger wire you go know how far.

      Delete
  8. Follow the short guy..
    The stingy guy should nyash down joor.

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  9. I don't just get it when a guy is loaded and can't spend on his woman, trust me girl his spending that money on someone else you can snoop to find out. Please physical attributes are nothing. You better borrow sense and dump that ur so called RICH BOY FRIEND.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Physical attributes are nothing? Pls dont say that oh, if youre not proud & comfortable to be seen in public with your man, pls dont give him false hope, it'd create a cavity in that union, the only time you'd likely find a common ground & see eye to eye is during sex.

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    2. Physical attributes are nothing. You have said it all.

      Delete
  10. The first guy is a red flag. History can end up repeating itself. 4 years and nothing.

    Don't break up with no 1 first but get to know Mr short guy better. He could be a 'golddigger with sense'

    Maybe you mentioned to him that Mr tall guy is stingy so he decided to give u so as to win ur heart. Beware

    ReplyDelete
  11. Poster, that tall one will not change, I married a stingy man too. Our short courtship was the best, he gave me anything and everything but immediately we married, not even a card on my birthday and he never fulfills the smallest promise. The short one though is dicey. This is still early days, he might change to stingy too. I don’t think you should even consider oga tall if you don’t want to end up like your mum and some of us. Have a free mind. You don’t have to marry either of them. It is not by looks o, I will marry that short man if I were you if he will give me peace of mind I just hope he won’t change. Cool down, you will get a good man by the grace of God.

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  12. Follow ur heart dear

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shes paying more attention to height & pocket size! Who heart help?

      Delete
  13. I will choose A beautiful and good heart over physical attributes because being selfless lasts for a lifetime and comes without stress.

    I’m currently in the same shoes and I have made up my mind to walk when I meet ‘my husband and partner’ who will be the father to our awesome children. I’m not trying to be proud but I’m at that stage in my life where I no longer want to share my heart with a selfish and manipulative man.

    Think it through, i will suggest. Xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How about walking away now? Your being with him may just be
      blocking your meeting your 'husband and partner'.

      Delete
  14. That first guy is spending on other women. Leave him, this type of stinginess has made loads of men and women depressed. This one is proudly stingy to only you. Runnnnnn.

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  15. If I were you poster, I will not have anything to do with the tall stingy guy that will not provide for my needs, of what use is he to me? Use your tongue to count your teeth.

    ReplyDelete
  16. How does a man love you but can't assist you?
    You're contradicting yourself nne. That thing you call a boyfriend doesn't love or thinks you aren't worth it.
    Scaratch all I said above nne. You're confused and very foolish and I won't waste my time advising you.
    #angrymuch

    ReplyDelete
  17. Yaba left escapee4 January 2019 at 15:28

    Sometimes you'd just wish you can steal away the good qualities from an ex & give to the new person youre considering, If wishes were horses, beggars would ride" but at least yourr not begging for money, all you ask for is to be shown love by giving u money & gifts to show support, not bad! How can a man claim he loves you & not buy you things he can afford? He loves how much u dont bother him for money or material things, thats it! Those things you cant accept in marriage, dont manage or try to accept them while courting, the one thing i can scratch my dada hair & tell you will change after a long time is the colour of his hair, it'd turn grey, 50 shades of grey was even a drama/thriller 2015 movie, but who cares about the love scenes? Short or tall, fat or slim... physical look doesnt sustain a marriage, its a bonus after how he treats you, it attracts u to the person like magnet, but the personality keeps you, but who'd marry all the zacchaeus you'all rejecting? And youre not even a tax collector, oh pls... set your priorities straight, you need more time, u dont need to climb a tree to see further, youve tasted coke and pepsi, which is more satifying?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For the very first time.. u made sense

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    2. If you ask me its mixed with sense and nonsense, hes taking his meds.

      Delete
  18. Your tall boyfriend doesn't love you. Forget the "he loves me and wants to settle down with me" anthem. He used his initial generosity to woo you. He is a stingy, manipulative and selfish man. He will be worse after marriage, that's if he really wants to marry you.

    You may even be a side chick. A man/woman that love gives. Giving is love, love is giving. That guy is bad news and you know it.

    I won't make your choice for you but go with what gives you peace of mind. You may marry a short man and breed tall children.

    ReplyDelete
  19. don't say your boyfriend loves you, he does not love you. love is giving, any man that can not give u anything, does not love you. stop deceiving yourself. Remember,for God so loved the world that he gave, God has shown u who your boyfriend is n you're still there confused, tomorrow don't start crying why me when u marry your first boyfriend. tall, handsome and well built is nothing. good character is everything. this confusion comes in when u commit the sin of premarital sex,which am sure you're engaged in wit these too men. give your life to Jesus Christ and ask him for his will to be done in your life, so you'll not repeat the mistake your mother made. if u do not love the second man, then stop stringing him along. as far as am concerned you're not in any relationship. you haven't found the right man for you. stay single and focus on God to bless you in his own time.

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  20. This your tall guy is going to be worst in marriage

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  21. Can you imagine? I want to marry him because he is tall. You my friend does not know what you want in life or should i say, you have no idea what marriage entails. Tall children my foot. Have you never seen short parents given birth to tall kids? What is height in marriage? you want to suffer in life abi? You and your tall children will suffer and i am telling you now, this man will not take care of his children, he will leave them to you, you will suffer more than your mum if you marry him.You need to set your priorities straight, 4 years is a lot for that man to at least be a partner, because partnership is the basis of marriage, he needs to share your pains, lows and money problems. Be wise my dear, marriage is more than having children, even if this second guy does not marry you, not all relationship should lead to marriage and it sounds to me that you are desperate, the downfall of Nigerian women, desperation, can't you just enjoy being in a healthy, loving relationship even for once in your lifetime? Experience is the greatest gift you can give yourself in life, knowing you were loved, spoiled and appreciated in life. Stop devaluating yourself in the name of marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bless you anon. Can’t she just enjoy a healthy and loving relationship?

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    2. It's not bad to desire height. God has given us free will. But it is wisdom to reject the proposal of 1st guy even with his height. Cos character is more important. And don't think you won't meet someone else, you will. I've dated a tall/dark/handsome/same tribe/same church/us citizen guy before. Everything I wanted. But he was so stingy, uncaring and unaffectionate. And wanted premarital sex which I didnt give in to. Of course we broke up. It was difficult to do but God showed himself true..3yrs later I've met someone else with his attributes (tall,dark,handsome) who is affectionate, kind, giving and equally desires chastity like me.

      Delete
  22. In all that you do make wise choices and don't end up being unhappy in marriage crying like your mom

    You have options today and they are opportunities which won't last forever

    Personally I can spend time with a guy who's stingy or one who expects me to ask or a beg. But what I can not do is to take such a guy seriously let alone marrying him

    It is your money that you will be using to run your home while he will be using his money to enjoy his life and be buying good name/ praises outside- as Mr capable in the eyes of outsiders

    Why not marry a man who derives joy in seeing you glow under his watch?

    Since you are still dating explore some more and don't breakup with the not so tall guy since he hasn't yet proposed

    You can string the stingy TDH guy along but bear in mind that you can't be married to him he won't change ever!
    I love your strength no sense of entitlement

    ReplyDelete
  23. Exactly my story 2 years back. My ex was tall, well built and loaded. The guy can promise you the world but can never give you pin!πŸ˜„ When you ask, he'll question what you use your money to do. Same person that preached how he would give his woman the world, started saying that it's wrong to spend on a woman. I remember how he once humiliated me in front of his brother cos I refused to use my own money to cook for him.
    I finally met someone who wasn't tall like him. But the guy treats me like a queenπŸ€—. This guy would go out of his way to cook for me, take me on surprise treats, etc. To imagine I never wanted to date him becos of height oπŸ˜‚
    My dear, height is nothing. They can be tall and forget their sense on the floor. A man who loves you, would want to do EVERYTHING to make you comfortable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

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    2. I am so happy to read this. It seems tall men can promise the whole world then change the matter entirely.

      Delete
  24. Please give me the short guy’s connect if you don’t want again. Keep you tall dark and stingy bae.

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  25. Story of my life... This miss independent woman thing has caused too many problems!

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  26. Love in Nigeria = gimme gimme gimme
    No wonder a lot of marriages are now gimmicks. No sound foundations any longer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you comprehend after you read this piece?

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    2. My dear I did. Not just this chronicle, but others as well. The foundation of what we call love in Nigeria is FAULTY. A guy will be spending on you and cheating, they will call it love. You spend the entire dating having sex upandan without knowing who the individual truly is, or their values, as long as he is spending it's all fine. You start cooking and washing and doing widely duties just to get a guy to marry you, is that a sound foundation biko?

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    3. You have a point dear, sometimes everything else is overlooked when the man is a giver. Poster’s case is different sha, spending her own money to go and visit him and he still expects her to take care of the feeding.

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    4. I tire my dear o. U never hear of Nigerian youmg girls talk about about character, shared passions, dreams, visions. These are are part of the foundations of a good marriage.

      Delete
  27. Nne, I for say make you go after Mr B,but you say you want your pikin dem to be tall bcos you no tall.Chai,the tall man no send you at all. In fact,he no love,forget the very very rich and plenty plenty money wey you see say him get.he no love you,na you dey love and na bcos say you fit afford to manage for now. what happens when you start having children?
    If you make the mistake of marry that Mr A,you go languish in pool of wealth.
    My advise to is to stop the relationship with both men now. and let God lead the man of your preference to you.
    Chai, I dont want you to send your chronicle to this blog based on the decision you took btw this men.Look closely and Learn from your mother. I happy for you small bcos you no love sotey you no see as all this things dey play out.Save your self plenty wahala and tears.

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  28. Boyfriend number 1 will become worst. You better dump his stingy wicked ass. Nonsense. Mr Short might be pretending as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Problem is Mr short might be pretending cos she told him her boyfriend doesn’t give her money. I am in a relationship where my guy told me things his ex doesn’t do and I had to start doing them cos he mentioned it , so u don’t elkmwonof short man is for real too, would have advices I wait for someone else but make sure u don’t marry ur first boyfriend A cos u would regret it, it is usually gets worse in marriage

      Delete
  29. How do you know he truly loves you... Are you in his heart or in his thoughts to know .... Or his words or calls... You said he is tall, handsome and well built.... That means he is a ladies man and might have a lot of women around him .... I guess you ain't a team Snoop member so you won't know... The other guy is good but short which you don't like... My advice is the first guy doesnt love you and he has others and the second guy is short so open the door and see other guys then when you find the one of your choice who is ready to settle down then you go for it but no more sex just go out and see other guys

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    Replies
    1. He must be a ladies man for her to be spending her money to go and visit him and sustain herself while she’s there.

      Delete
  30. this is my story, this is my song
    but in my own case,i wanted to marry him because he was rich,tall,dark and handsome but was a chronic liar with a difference. It took me long but I finally saw through him.
    So poster, for Mr tall-quietly remove your slippers,use your left hand to hold your gele firmly to your head and run till the back of your leg touches the back of your head.
    For Mr Short:If he makes you happy please go for him but remember that ebidosie o n'ato darling darling (in flavour's voice).
    Don't forget that no wise politician continues campaigns after elections

    Zainab makas

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  31. Poster give the short guy chance, the tall one can only get worst after marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  32. One attributes of love is giving. You give to people you love and people you have compassion for.
    If a man truely loves a woman he won't be reminded that he ought to give her whether she's loaded or not.
    Poster, physical appearance shouldn't be your πŸ’― priorities when choosing a life partner. You have to consider the key points that would make you fulfilled in marriage.
    In all let God guide and direct you and grant your heart desires.

    ReplyDelete
  33. You just make me angry as you keep repeating that you know he loves you....which love? Nonsense, you better wake up from lalaland mafriend, that guy does not love you one bit. You better wake up from your slumber

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    Replies
    1. And she spends to go and visit him o.

      Delete
  34. Enter your comment...short like shorty engine? if no,you both can still work out something

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  35. Your so called boyfriend is either cheating on you or very stingy,and it seems u both are not living in the same state,so you fly with your money and he will sleep with you ,u will cook and then leave without anything,that's pure wickedness ,no man that loves his woman will behave like that ,even if you are the richest woman in the world ,it's just a sign of appreciation ,the guy doesn't love you he might just be saying it to tie u down,just start ignoring his calls ,ignore his text,hangout more,the other short guy isnt necessarily the man you should marry,u will meet more people and when you meet the right person u will know,the way he will be ready to help out even when u dnt ask and treat u like a queen.Run frm that your first boyfriend

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    Replies
    1. Gbam Anonymous.. that first one no follow.. poster, the second is cool but be open to other guys.. you must not marry the second..

      Delete
  36. I hope y’all know that her relationship with the second guy is fresh and he might become worse than her boyfriend sef.Poster,you need to look before you leap.For me,I think you should stick to your boyfriend and leave the new guy or leave both of them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How e wan take look reach?

      Stay with someone bringing absolutely no value to her after 4years?
      Na so some of una go dey hawk low self esteem up and down

      Poster you deserve better

      Delete
    2. Even the poster herself has more sense than you anon 16:46. At least she gets it that it’s not a healthy relationship. Thanks shugargirl.

      Delete
  37. Breakup from what u call slavery with d first.see ma mama.mrs independent.my dear just leave the first one.how do u people date for so long

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  38. Poster, the first guy doesn't love you. He might be fond of you but there is no love, please. He might even have another lady that he spends on.
    The second guy is also not appropriate.
    I will advise you to give yourself a break from both men. You deserve better. A better man will locate you, please. Just be patient.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Poster the foundation of your issue starts from the fact that you are more concerned about your lover's physical attributes. Yes we all love the cute, tall bla bla guys but when you take away all that what do you have? Nothing but a stingy manipulative human being. I have never heard where looks sustained a marriage. Besides the guy has been codedly telling you that he won't spend on whoever he marries and you are still there asking us what to do and that you want tall kids. Better leave that man and start looking for better options. Besides if the short guy doesn't give you that peace leave him too

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  40. The way most of you just assume that the tall guy us not in love with her..i just wonder.do you know if he decided to pause a lil in order to see her true nature should incase money stop flowing ..everyone is equating love with giving of money.giving of money is good but trust me..man can still pretend and show you all the love and when you married he stops.How come you so sure he is stingy?he is yet to wife you and most guys just spend reasonably during courtship.also it is adviceable for a guy to spend wisely while in courtship..no wonder most of you ladies fall into wrong hands.you dont focus on the right things at yhe right time.becareful ladies.all that glitters aint gold.in all things seek for wisdom.

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    Replies
    1. Poster please do not listen to this advice up there. Why should a man test you for so long? When you’ve proven to be a woman who can hold her own anyday. Run away from that guy, he’ll never change. Your mum should be a reminder to you how it ends up.

      Delete
  41. chei..naija women don bastardize love finish.chei.one said the man not adding value to her and i wana ask what value is the lady adding to her too?
    poster are you a giver too? naija ladies too selfish and self centred oh.last last pray for a good man.because you might see a man ready to pretend and give you heaven and earth while dating once una enter marriage he begins to show your aka gum ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stingykoko spotted☝🏻. An aka gum can pretend to be a giver but a giver can not sustain pretending to be an aka gum.

      Delete
    2. I repeat the value is 0•00000000000000000000000000

      When you too have a daughter package her and dash to a man that can spend on others but will not provide for her with all the red flag staring at you okay?

      Love has many attributes and being stingy sure isn't one of them

      Delete
  42. I can never marry a stingy man.Physical looks doesn't sustain a marriage but a gud heart does.If the short guy too is not giving u peace leave him.There are many fishes in the ocean.But when choosing a life partner,know dat physical looks is noting.I will rather marry Adams Oshiomole that treat me like a queen than a stingy tall Desmond Elliot.One thing about handsome guys is that fine gals go rush am self u won't av peace of mind.At the same time,when ur tall stingy bf punish u.u won't remember if ur kids are tall or short.My parents are tall but am short.Ask God for guidance and abstain from premarital sex so dat sex won't becloud ur sense of reason.

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  43. Ask yourself what value this your tall aradite hand has brought into your life in th last 4 years.
    Are you hanging on to the promise of marriage? Or you see a future with him?

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  44. Who tall or short epp? Money is important in marriage/relationship. The first man isn’t good for you cos I don’t think he loves you....a man that loves a woman will do everything to make her happy....the second man is better but then u can’t predict a man that doesn’t have much.

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  45. What kind of stupid love is this??
    I’m sure you’re even older than me yet so naive and dull.
    Imagine paying your flight to go see a man lmfaooo.
    Let me tell you something,
    when a man loves you ehh, he gives!
    It’s just the simple truth of life!
    My goodness!
    Girl pick your self esteem up and leave both men.
    Start afresh and stop the desperation of finding husbands.
    Nigerian women and finding husbands syndrome.
    I’m ashamed on your behalf.
    God speed.

    ReplyDelete
  46. All of a sudden, everybody has forgotten about feminism cos money is involved. Why should you expect money and gifts from a man when you can work and make your own money, then get yourself anything and everything you want.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because it makes you feel like you are the only girl in the world. I have my own shit going on and I am carrying myself, but you feel so good if you guy went on a long trip and bring you back gifts. If he just gives you some money and tell you to take a day at the spa or get your hair done. It's not that you cannot pay for it, but it is that feeling of being cared for, remembered. He may be running a corporation, or just driving a cab or whatever tf he does for a living, but in all of his busy world and other responsibilities, taking crap from the boss, dealing with product launches, failures or whatever he still remembered you and still is looking out for your happiness. That is what it feels like and that is why even the richest and most successful woman still want that from her man.

      Delete
    2. God bless you, Anon 20:20

      Delete
  47. The first guy wants to settle down with u, the second guy hasn’t said anything. Ope he will not date u for another 4years probably a second tenure relationship. Just saying

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  48. Your boyfriend is giving off some misogyny vibes to me, I honestly hope I am wrong on that. What I am most concerned with is that his word does not mean anything. He says whatever he feels you want to hear, but does not live by it. This is the trait of someone who lacks integrity, making a life with someone who lacks integrity will be a disaster because trust is so vital to the success of a relationship. You live apart now so it does not seem like such a big deal, but it will fck up your head when you have to deal with it day in day out. You have to leave that boyfriend of yours. I cannot say if the other man is a good fit for you, but I know the boyfriend is not considerate enough to make a good husband for the average woman. Peace and joy in a home is so beautiful never settle for less.

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  49. Me i think am suffering too o. Hehehehe. My bf no dey gimme shishi, i dont ask though. Instead i give him, loan him for business, but i am happy, i believe d happiness i found in being with him is enough. I dont know wat to advice sef, just follow ur heart abeg

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  50. This first guy just sees you as if he is doing u a big favour by dating u cos he is tall, handsome and rich .why use your money to go and see a man and he won't give u transport after dating for years. If u marry his type he will leave u to cater for all the children's needs and outsiders won't help you cos they believe your husband has money and you are just being stingy. If you are not in a hurry cos of age I will advice u let him go and face the short guy.height is nothing when suffer head start and in marriage you two are meant to support each other. Pls pray about it and tell God what u want. Pls don't choose by sight cos it is a lifetime commitment. This one that ur priority is tall tall talll. U need a man that wants to know about ur work and encourage u.if u marry me tall you will be in the midst of plenty and will still be hungry .(God forbid it for u my dear)

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  51. Receive sense my dear! Take Martin advice and leave that toxic relationship else you wl nt onlyonly write chronicle but story books in years to come... If he can't treat you right during courtship what wl become of you in marriage to him?

    ReplyDelete
  52. Do not depend on any man as a woman. However a man in love ALWAYS gives no matter how comfortable his woman is. Married 25 years, a professional with my own practice in diaspora, mine still sends me flowers from 1-800 flowers.com with a note. I get excited when a patient says "this flower is so beautiful".

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  53. Poster forget that your fuck boy of a guy that will not want to give you anything. He has been shining your Congo for free imagine!!!! Forget him jor

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  54. Was short guy in a relationship before he started with you? Find out what happened in his last ship. And see, all of this is initial gragra with Mr short guy. His true color too will come out. Dump both of them
    Short guy is just smitten for now

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  55. Poster, if I may ask, did your dad and mum ever get to iron out their issues, please help a sister?
    ....for someone going through this

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  56. Honestly all this is crap... why would you want advice from a thousand and one strangers???if at all you do, then how would you know the advice to go with??? Bullshit!!! Goodluck finding your solution

    ReplyDelete

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