Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists- Living With The In Laws

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Saturday, February 23, 2019

Saturday In House Gists- Living With The In Laws

Living with the In Laws can either be good for some and really bad for some................





The in laws here refers to either Mother/Father in law or brother/sister in law...It can be any family member from the other spouse' immediate or extended family...

What is your experience?good or bad?
Are they staying with you or are you staying with them for several reasons (Maybe your boo is not in the Country and mandated you must live with his in laws...How is it with them?A good ride or really bumpy?


How does one even tell a good in law during courtship?

163 comments:

  1. Me I no get wahala for any of them.

    Them dey come and go as them like.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm living with my sister in law, I've been living with them for over 4yrs, I've known her with my uncle for 14yrs and we've never had any reason to fight, nobody has ever settled any issues for us. She's the best sister in law I've seen, God bless her for me




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True she is a good person but you must also be a good and reasonable person as well.

      Delete
  3. Living with inlaws is the worst thing that can ever happen to a newly married lady. It is worse than a terrible nightmare. I would rather manage in a face me i face you than live with inlaws in a mansion. Speaking from experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Went thru hell in the early part of my marriage still going thru a lot. I don't think I can take it any longer.never really enjoyed this union because hubby is the first child and we have to leave together with his parent we are virtually enemies.

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    2. I don't get it. Have to live with his parents? Says who? I don't know where you are from or the religion you practice, but the Bible says a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife....

      Delete
  4. How people do this I would never understand and would wish to remain puzzled!
    I love my space the fact that Im sharing this space with my husband is enough invading as it gets. Talk more of in-laws, Not even my nuclear family that I love so much. I just cannot. Mba

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  5. I can’t even try it o. Max I can stay is a week. Hubby already said whoever stays with his mom becomes the fighting partner. So make we dey respect and love ourselves from a distant but BIL visit for long stretches. Sometimes they’re sweet and other times they’ll be doing anyhow. I console myself with the fact that no matter how long you stay in my house, you must surely leave one day because I’m not raising you. Na visit you come.

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  6. My mother inlaw lived with us right from the day we wedded because she was sick and needed care.....till she died, After some month of rest my father in law became sick and I had to move in with him to take care of him till he passed on too.It was not an easy journey but it made me realise how responsible I could be, I found his "mumu button".During my father inlaws funeral mass,the preaching changed from talking about him to eulogising me.It felt so good to be the one responsible and in charge of someone whom the whole people see as a a very difficult man.He even taught me how to sign his signature when his signature started been irregular.Till today if any one wants to do anything in the family they must ask for my opinion incase if my father in law had told me things concerning that event.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're a good woman Lucile. May your sons and daughters inlaw cater to your needs in old age just like you did for papa and mama.

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    2. A big AMEN to that Selene..

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    3. Waoooooooooooo
      If na white man e go will property to you

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    4. Wow! You really tried, God bless you

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    5. Lily simple I swear. Lucille if I get to that stage,I pray to God to give me strength and wisdom like yours.

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    6. Your kind is rare.God bless you.

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    7. Wow!!!This my first time of commenting in over 6years of reading this blog just because your story is impressive.Am about to get married but i will rather prefer loving from afar from my hubands's family.

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    8. God will surely reward you mightily Lucille. You are a great woman. Your children shall rise up and call you blessed.

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    9. Your generation is already Blessed ijn

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    10. God will reward your kind gesture @ Lucile

      Delete
  7. Me i visit, i don't live,lol, the only time I lived was when they travelled and me n his one of his sisters were mandated to do school runs, she's so versatile so no headache.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't even visit. I have nieces and nephews I haven't seen and some I see only when they visit the family home.

      We are all cool. I would catch a grenade for them but I will never visit.

      Delete
  8. Myself and boyfriend agreed while dating that there'd be no living with inlaws.... highest come n spend weeknd or at most one holiday & be going, we got married & it has remained that way... some of them will come and try to forget their self, but we remind eachother, inlaws are necessary weeds.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Better topic dun land. Ma'am Stella you're just the bomb. Learning mode activated.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The worse mistake one can ever make. Anytime in laws come to stay, hubby and I must always have serious quarrel. Father inlaw and brothers inlaw are the cause of our separation which oga wishes to lead to divorce.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hmmm, yours is even better,,BIL raped the shit out of me and even threatened to kill me if I ever tell anyone....my saving grace was my sister in love,the oloshi is now in ikoyi prison pending when my hubby gets back

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    2. Anonymous 15:20, you said what?? Wonders shall never end. May he rot in jail.

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    3. Let him rot in that of prison .

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    4. You say? Pele o. I hope you get justice and they don't turn it to family matter

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    5. Anon shuo! that your bro inlaw na oloshi,what nerve! may he rot in jail

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    6. Jesus! What did I just read...

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    7. isi ginni?? brother in law raped you? kai ..

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    8. What? So sorry. This is very bad, that family will never remain the same. He raped his brother's wife? Kai. May we not see evil. Pls make sure he pays dearly for the crime, don't let them beg you into withdrawing it o

      Delete
  11. I don't like it but I'm experiencing it now. As long as everyone uses his common sense doing things,there will be peace. It's not something I would gladly sign up for though.

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  12. Husband family, you people should stop living with newly married couple

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    Replies
    1. But wives families are welcome ba? And someone keeps wondering why am not moved by all these daughters-in-law sob stories. Mtshewww.

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    2. What of your own family? Anyone that can't accommodate their in-laws should not expect their spouse to accommodate theirs.

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    3. Wife's family members know how to behave but husband want to be lord and masters. A wife can instruct her own people but husband's own you can't. So it's not the same

      Delete
  13. I hate when mostly husband family come to live in the house of a married couple and feel that it is the wife's duty to slave for them

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam you got it. God will punish all of them.

      Delete
  14. Oh! You cannot tell good in-laws before the marriage . As most pretend for thier selfish Interest or whatever reason they have.
    One can only observe and pray to God for wisdom & patience while interacting with them.

    During the dating, if something doesn’t feel right with your instinct in the midst of all the pretence , it really isn’t right have no doubt I’m your mind. However, if it’s a deal breaker, you run as fast as your leg can. If it isn’t, you apply diplomacy while looking with your “side eye”.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Stayed with my sis and her husband october 2013 for 2 years after sec school. I served as their Nanny and errand gurl. They really took care of me ehn. Every day ice cream and sharwama. I really enjoyed my stay with them aswaer! my bro in-law was very strict and kind too. I left when I got admission.
    Well, they've relocated abroad together with my mumsy. I miss them
    and they miss me too. Till today I'm still deferred to as MillionDollarNanny

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a wonderful person .

      Delete
  16. My grandma stayed with us till she passed away
    no drama cause she has OCD so she does her things the way she wants it and by herself.
    Don't know about when we were young, I grew up with her staying with us.

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  17. Bad experience for me. So now they just visit

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  18. Mine has been a good one. Funny enough, I don't live in the same state with hubby but since 2016 that I got married I ve been living with my sis-inlaw. The first person I was staying with got admission and her twin is currently with me. My MIL has also visited twice and stayed at least six weeks each. No big deal in it, especially when u see them as ur loved ones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a good wife. Most wives can only accommodate their own families but not in-laws. Family dividing 21st century women everywhere.

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    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚@family dividing 21st century women everywhere. Leave them na.

      They have forgotten they will have male sons who will get married to a 22nd century woman one dayπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.
      Turn by turn na so life beπŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™.
      My sis in law doesn't like us near her and my brother.To think we used to love her ehn! and treated her like our paddi.

      If I bought cloth, i also bought her own, same with phones,shoes just name it. Always called me when broke and trust me I loved my brother, so I extended it to her.
      Always supported her even when I knew she was wrong when they had misunderstandings.
      She would come over, we would insults all the other ladies trying to contend with her till she married him.

      Immediately they got married she stopped calling, and was doing "me and my husband" claiming territoryπŸ˜…. Went to their house,once.

      She gave me "1" small meat,but i felt na my chick, probably no meat in the house yet so i
      ate the food with love.

      Only for her friends to come over same day and were served eexcess meat and took extras home.I felt it was an oversight.

      Till i was given a laptop to relax with for the night, yea I slept over.
      What my eyes saw, till today I keep looking at her with side eyes.The laptop was connected to her account on another laptop,so I kept getting her Facebook messages shared between her and her friends .

      Telling her to be careful with me,and to be nice in her hubby presence but be sly with me. Not to allow us unnecessary access to their house.

      This was someone whose family visited anyhow they like. Even her sisters and brothers lived with her and her husband for a while.
      I read all the messages as they were coming in on the screen Other comments i can't type here, but since that day i feared and stopped liking her.

      Something happened in their marriage and she called me but i locked up.
      Afterall, you wanted to be doing me and my hubby. Then continue na.
      They are still on that serious issue which threatens her home but she is on her own.

      Stella,most daughters-in-law get their own for body biko!!

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    3. Some women Dey carry fight enter marriages, in d sense say na WAR zone hence family of d man is involved. God have mercy @ ur Sil smh

      Delete
  19. I can live with my mil,shes a very nice person and she is also like a mother to me,..I just love how she took me...but I can't stay with any bil or sil,I wont tolerate anybody taking advantage of me.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Reminds me of one time I went to see my mil.
    my sil was there.
    she said this u(my name)u don't have respect o.if I see her I will just greet her without adding ma.i never knew she had been keeping it in her mind;that she had been observing me...
    I felt bad cos of what she said I don't have respect cos of "ma".
    I add the ma always to any of them.
    Getting married hubby said I should add sir.
    I dont like it.i never did it when we dated.i makes me feel u are my father
    I want to see u as a companion.
    I just greet him dear.
    He is now used to it
    When it enter's my head I say sir;he says ma.once in a while.
    For staying I have never spent a night with them but I believe it will not be rigorous though.i understand them better now...
    Just a night for staying I can't .
    I dont just like it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your husband said you should Sir when greeting him?

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    2. If she is older, you truly don't have respect.

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    3. Anon 16:37...so adding Ma" to a greeting means the person has respect. Wonders shall never cease....you need to upgrade your thinking faculty ASAP!

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    4. Lols @ adding sir when greeting your hubby . It sounds awkward. Its good you changed his mindset

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    5. Am sure she's yoruba, hence the reason they want to die on top '"ma" rubbish

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  21. My father in-law want all his daughter in law's to be miserable. He hate me because he didn't name any of my kids and I have never reported any quarrel with my husband to him. So all this made him hate me including his daughters. They will never go to their own husband's place but will be looking for their brother's wife to come slave for them during festive season in their fathers house. All those are gone with 2018. None of the sons wife is going there because he always want his sons to treat their wife like slaves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same here. Father inlaw and brothers inlaw from the deepest part of hell. Fil hates me because I don't report any fight to him. I later found out he's a wizard as he's always attacking me anytime I'm pregnant.
      When I had my 2nd baby he told me he couldn't sleep when he heard the news.

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    2. Ewooo
      Pls be prayerful. Pray without ceasing

      Delete
  22. MIL comes over at least twice a year especially during hols. She and the kids SCATTER!!!
    FIL is a high chief, a Kpajie, he goeth nowhere. He'll be busy calling MIL to return quick. Hahahahaha.
    Igbo old men with old love wahala.

    Many cousins come and go but none has ever stayed put, majority are on transit; either they are staying few days to take off or they land in Naija and stay around for some days.

    They all prefer our Visitor's room; the home generally, to lodging in a hotel. That's the good side of living close to the airport anyway.

    Currently, we have 3 undergraduates under our tutelage till elections and strike wahala is fully settled.
    The noise here no be small, they are LOUD. 2 na slay queens but they handle chores like pros. 1 bobo has his Swissbeats headset on allday even when washing cars. Haaa!

    Sweetest angle is DH's eldest sister, she's my 2nd husband. Once I call on her, she shuts down her Lekki home and heads to our home, usually when I'm travelling. Her 2 kids and hubby are in Europe so she has enough time on her hands.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This one dey live for Mafoluku Oshodi 😁

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    2. U both r dead beats. Have u heard of GRA b4? Or d shonibare Estate? I guess not, What of Opebi does it ring a bell? Low lives looking for who to drag to there levels. Hissss. I kuku trust her, she is too classy to come and drag with Una

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    3. Lucky you Xhlrted P, may God bless your family 😘

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    4. There are new new posh estates by airport. Hers maybe Kenneth Minima Esate.

      Delete
  23. Abeg i like my space. My sis in law has only come to visit once and stayed for a week.

    In laws don't really come around maybe because we stay in different states. Hubby and i stay in Benin while our families stay in Lagos

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  24. My in-laws are the best! I’ve been living with Hubby’s parents since I was 7weeks preggys and my MIL has been the best, taking care of me when I was sick, cooking anything I want anytime of the day, massaging my body, etc. I can go on and on..I’m 27weeks 3days today and it’s be fun all the way. She’s my gist partner. My BILs are awesome too..and my baby SIL who’s just 15. I’m really blessed because God gave me the best in-laws in the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow!!!

      Happy for you dear

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    2. Happy for you my dear but some things are better kept to yourself and I'm talking from experience. May the love between you and your inlaws continue to grow and I wish you peace dear 😘

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    3. Gist partner? Better b careful not to miss yearn. God help u, watch and pray and don't b carried away!

      Delete
  25. My mil is a nightmare.staying a weekend with her is unbelievably uncomfortable. Her own kids run from her. She is a loud mouth, talks non stop, she thinks she knows it all, very abusive and a terrible gossip.she goes to sleep in her first sons house she takes over the house cos she assisted him in building it. She competes with his wife for her first sons attention. When the wife went to deliver in us, my mil moved into her sons matrimonial bedroom. Intact I can tell stories for days. I noticed she is hesitant with me because my father was a wealthy man, and my senior ones are doing well, she is not able to really come out and bully me. My husband goes to see her, but I don't . I only call her to greet her nowadays, and even the calls sef are so uncomfortable. She must find something spiteful to say. When I just met my hubby and we were living together, she used to show up unannounced, imagine she would travel with an entourage, one person to cook, two people to assist her cos she us overweight, and a driver and land in my house without informing us prior, aaah my hubby and I would fight pieces. I never tolerated her for a minute, my hubby eventually put her in her place and when she saw my level too, she Eventually has kept her distance. Planning the wedding was another hell... I used prayer to silence her. Abeg me I can never stay with my in laws. Worst idea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same with my In laws. Thank god my father is wealthy if not dem for show me pepper. Now fear and inferiority complex will not allow them talk in my front.

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    2. @17:08,be careful what you wish for you in-laws because one day, just one day! hmmmmmm!

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    3. Me that my family is wealthy but ungrateful in laws still see me as thrash as I no pack my papa money give them na. They hate me but I no send. Poor and proud idiots.

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    4. Lol anon 18:30,are you not the one that sent a chronicle of not helping Dh to talk to your parents to help him with cash and then he asked for divorce?

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    5. Mimi love, what's wrong with what Anonymous 17:08 said cos I had to read it again 🀷🏾🀷🏾

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  26. My Inlaws are very dear to me. I have been married for 18 years and I have lost count of the people that have passed through my home. I love all my Inlaws and they defend me like Voltron. The key is to treat them like your own family and stop comparing and competing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you. We need to be accommodating pls. I love my in-laws and have no issue with them. They have also shown me love and we roll well together. None has lived with me except for short visits. I have been married for more than 12 years

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    2. I have been accommodating but they still didn't appreciate. If they hate you, they hate you, no matter what you do.

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    3. Godbless you for this candid truth
      Chinwe uba

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    4. Thank God it works for. Sometimes, when the DIL is nice, they abuse it, take advantage of her and even try to intimidate her- in her own home o

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    5. Lol @ accommodating. My so-called in-laws nearly killed my husband and I. Tried to poison me with food in my own house! Idiots even brought juju into my home. Had the nerve to abuse my husband who is the only reason anybody in their hometown takes them seriously. They're now running helter-skelter because all their own marriages are shaking and many are receiving reports of barrenness; dem never start to cry. I've settled it with God; no brother-in-law or sister-in-law of mine will ever have a marriage or a lineage to call their own. Some people think it's everybody they can mess with.

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    6. Which God. You are not a Christian so pls keep God out of your mouth. “No BIL or SIL of mine will ever......” I rebuke that curse on their behalf in Jesus Name. Ask yourself one thing? Would Jesus ever say such. Even to the people that crucified Him he prayed for forgiveness. You are a callous, cold hearted person. Your devious hearts makes you manufacture “attacks and enemies” even when there are none. I gleaned that in just a few sentences you typed up there and I really pity your husband. May God thaw your cold heart and bless you with kindness grace and a heart that’s forgiving IJN amen. What woman floats at the barreness of another? Incredible!

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    7. Anon 08:16 lol. Class monitor for God. You people think everyone who humbles herself is a fool. When someone removes her hand from a fight, you people think it's weakness. You don't realise it's cos of WHO she has heard. Ooooooh, you know what is good but don't want it for others. You want them to endure. Until you jam someone with a covenant on her head, covenant that is already looking for where to happen.

      Rebuke all you like, it's already happening. Live and direct as I write. I'm not Jesus, my dear. How about you stop deliberately doing things for which you will need forgiveness? And Jesus agreed to die before He was born. You don't come to my home, I welcome you, then you poison my food and have the bloody nerve to try to murder my husband - and expect me to clap for you to prove I'm a nice person. You bring juju into my house, you must be very stupid. It's my life some people want to use to act Nollywood movie; do what you like, then tomorrow ask for forgiveness and we see "to God be the glory" onscreen. I laugh in Spanish.

      Don't worry about my husband; he's very safe. I told him a long time ago that my hands, heart and tongue will never harm him but I can't vouch for the kind of prayers I will make for anybody who lays a finger on him. My covenant over him is such that not even his mother can deliberately harm him and go scot-free. The only reason I didn't touch anybody when it happened was because God told me what would happen to them, if I removed my hand. Anyone who tries to tamper with what is mine, will lose all they have. If you won't leave me, my husband and children in peace - you kukuma will not have lineage. It's not a curse, oh. I'm just telling you as it is. You can't come from nowhere to make me and my husband cry, then expect to smile. How and why? When some of us enter certain covenants with God, you think we do it cos we don't have sense?

      As you're fuming, let me give you something else to vibrate about: the ones who weren't barren (so they already had children), are losing their children. When older people die, it's not a big deal cos they're expected to. But the juju they patronise will not let them see clearly - that when many children begin to die, especially at a point where they're to be celebrated, something is wrong. And I will watch in silence till they get brain, beg publicly and acknowledge their wrongdoing - that when God said a man and his wife should be left alone to cleave to each other, it was not a suggestion. The wonderful thing about people who go to juju is their stupidity - they spend money, do all kinds of demeaning things, yet go round in circles.

      In the meantime, be voltron-ing on their behalf. As you side with them, you endorse their actions and attempt to bully and victimise me. So, you will now partake of their guilt and the punishment. Since you think you know who knows God and who doesn't, I hope you'll be able to find a genuine wo/man of God who will tell you to mind your own business next time. Awon intercessor; you'll have plenty to pray about in the coming days.

      Delete
  27. In my next life, no in-law will live with me. Chineke napu ekwensu ike.

    My BIL was living with my hubby while they were still single.

    When we married and moved to a new area, he gave us one month honeymoon grace and joined us after his one month stay at the village. I took in immediately and was working at the Island. So every morning I left the house as early as 5.00am.
    Each time I come back from work, Plates and pots will be waiting for me in the sink. He was jobless and stayed home all day. His girlfriend then was the one who did his laundry. No matter how tired from work I was and sick with pregnancy, I would still cook and serve him. The times hubby was at home and helped me with cooking and laundry he would call him woman-wrapper.

    Hubby never cautioned his brother. He's the quiet and non-confrontational type,so I was always boiling and fuming. He told me not to confront his brother but report every complaint to him. Instead of him to talk to his brother, he would do it himself.

    I saw pepper for the two years he was with us till he moved out and got married.

    NEVER AGAIN.

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    Replies
    1. Same way hubby never talked while his kid bro was misbehaving, until the boy finally grew wings and started insulting me.

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    2. Chai it is well anon
      So it is good for a man to be outspoken sometimes. Hubby can talk for Africa and I do complain especially when we quarrel and he keeps repeating what I did 20 years ago. Its advantage is that no one dares talk to me anyhow. He will put the person in his/her place immediately

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    3. I had the same experience. It was not funny. The guy lived with hubby before we got married, he treated me like an intruder with so much disdain. Sometimes I felt he did everything possible to frustrate me.I complained to hubby a few times and maintained my peace.I gave him the cold silent treatment, even when I was boiling inside, until God decided to rescue me when he moved out.

      Delete
  28. My mil stays wit us at the moment...we had to beg her to come help us take care of the baby wen i was about to resume wrk after my maternity leave cuz hubby dint want his baby going to creche; and every day since she came, i pray to God that he blesses her with long life and good health cuz she has been nothing short of amazing. Sometimes i wonder wat i av done to deserve such an angel as a mil, maybe bcuz am also an amazing Dil��

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You must be a good daughter In-law too, people attract the kind of energy they give from others. May your bond last forever.

      Delete
  29. Remember when i first got married, 2 Sil remained post marriage with no sign of going back. Meanwhiles, oga and i had discussrd relatives staying with us and we both agreed we wont allow it....one month, no talking no movt, oga said i should chill since we had both applied for our visas to japaa!!
    I got tired bcos this particular sil would come wt her friends, enter kitchen and dabaru the whole place. Me ayam kukuma a very lazy person from conception buts per iyawo title was shacking me, to cook x3 a day de sweet me that period. Spoke wt mumc for advice, mumc say tell ur boo to speak with his sister to stop entering your pot when u cook and her friends should also stop entering your kitchen.....oga provoke for my head when i told him, he said his sisters and theit friends can do as they pls as na all of us get house.

    No yawa na, i then decided to rebirth my lazy self into reality; dem kukuma been de look me as ajebota for my husband family so.....i stopped making breakfast. Oga will fix tea for both of us, when sil and her friends enter kitchen cook, i go de watch, once food don ready, i ll serve my self, then put oga's own inside cooler, lock inside bedroom.
    Did that for 2wks consecutively b4 they got the msg. Sil started complaining me, i dont cook in the house, i ll wait for het to cook and go an dish when her brother wanted to talk, i reminded him that shebi i was also cooking and she and her friends were dishing out food by themselves so??
    We left to the abroad 10 days later.....when i settle i will gist hoe Mil came visiting and started crying that i accused her of theft

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  30. Hubby doesn't reside in Nigeria, so I currently live with his nephew (his age mate though) that was staying with him b4 he got married, so far so good, his been good, caring and matured. It wasn't easy at first but hubby kept begging me to pls contain him, until I found out he was a sickler and my heart melted, since then we've been good, his girlfriend comes 1s in a while and she takes over the kitchen when she does (who cooking epp), my younger sister stayed briefly and left when my mum passed on and didn't return again, then niece in-law came and wanted to show me pepper, by the time I was done with her, she ran away claiming she was going for Nysc at 34 (e no concern me sha). Then another SIL and her children (hubby's siblings are 8 in number)are keeping malice with me bcos I refused any of them from coming again after the last incident. Those pple are tiring and difficult to please, 1s this one lives, no more live-in in-laws.

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  31. Some in-laws could be terrible, no doubt but most wives already have a mindset that in-laws are evil and they are battle ready even before marriage. I have always treated my in-laws like my own birth family and they have been awesome too. We don't pretend with each other, we quarrel too and settle it like family. At the end of the day, that is the family your children come from, you have to work in love and peace with all. If they can't stay with you when they need to, the day your child needs them, you will not be free. My relationship with my in-laws has made them close to my birth family, and we all relate like a big extended family.

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    Replies
    1. That's how it ought to be

      Chinwe Uba

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    2. See ur nam nah Eminado good luck charm. A beg Oil Dey ur head better pikin

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    3. I treated mine like yours but I am not so lucky. They hated me even before they married me, nothing I do can be okay in their eyes

      Delete
  32. I don't buy this idea at all most especially for newly weds

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  33. I am just like a daughter and a sister to my inlaws. I am not too introvert and not too extrovert sha but they love me just the way I am. Both his brothers and sisters do come visiting and go. But currently his mum is with us now due to health challenge, one of her cousin sist moved in with us in January 2019 and anther cousin sist came visiting almost 2 weeks now and would be going back tomorrow. Am so relief as both cousins are here bcx I don't do any house chores again because they are the ones doing it and going for errands. But just yesterday my hubby complained that he ain't enjoying his meal any longer bcx he is so used to my food. So I have taken over cooking from them since yesterday (he ate like a prisoner yesterday... Lol) while they do the house chores, they even wash my clothes too including my Hubby's own and my little niece own. we so much love each other. their age group is 20 and 25 and am 28 and they address me as aunty while I call them by their names. Abi na if they are my blood sister I can't be calling aunty bcx I senior them. Na one big family dey rush us nowooo..

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  34. Not even 6 months in marriage and hubby brought his 2 younger brothers and pregnant sister to live with me. It was horrible. I was pregnant and had no maid. Hubby and I also worked in banks. They will eat the food I cooked and leave the plates for me to wash when I get back. Eventually hubby started putting the plates in their room. Then anything that happens will filter back to MILs ears. The house was constantly dirty, they drank and left bottles round the house. They were also rude. I complained and hubby said I should try pls. Meanwhile their parents lived in Lagos. They said their house was too far. Undoubtably the one of the worst periods of my marriage. Oh and b4 u ask they are Igbo people. Terrible in laws to have.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 17:06 don't generalise pls.
      Terrible inlaws cut across all tribes. We can only pray for our daughters to fall into good hands

      Delete
    2. The worse in-laws to have are Igbo's. Tueh!!

      Delete
    3. The worse in-laws to have are Igbo's. Tueh!!

      Delete
    4. Madam, that you met a few 'bad' people does not mean that all are terrible in laws to have.
      Try to be objective.
      It will help.
      And this is me who doesn't like them either.

      Delete
  35. Living with my bro and the wife for the past 3years now..most people thinks the wife is my wife..you need to see how we play as am talking now she's wearing my joggers and slippers..in fact all my things she uses then like is hers my iPhone sef sometimes she will steal and go out I will just laugh...we have never have issues for once very nice lady..she's pregnant with the fourth child now but she be like sisi.I wash plate,bath the kids,fech water respects myself

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. biko let her stop wearing your joggers, e get as e be

      Delete
    2. Yes you need to establish some boundaries. Don't you have a girlfriend? You are not her husband.

      Delete
    3. I hope you guys don't visit the oza room πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ™„πŸ˜±πŸ€”πŸ˜πŸ€·πŸΎ

      Delete
  36. In-laws can come visit and go or highest spend a night. No permanent staying. Even from my side sef.. though my siblings don't stay here.

    ReplyDelete
  37. It is not advisable for inlaws to leave with couples no matter how good you think you are one day see finish go set in.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I remember when my sister got married at 22 years to a Dr that just started his residency, the husband had 5 brothers and 1 girl, they lost their parent when all of them were in secondary school so they all came together as a bunch of broom and supported themselves. The brother finished quite early and started supporting the other and he wasn't getting any younger and had to marry.

    After marriage he rented a 3 bedroom flat and all the 5 brother and the sister came to live with them, right from the day the said "I do". Believe me my sister as young as she was will cry to my mum and she will say, you knew what you were entering into go and endure. Imagine cooking for 5 grown men and you know how men ate. Kia ehhh it wasn't easy sometimes she falls out but she endured.

    They stayed for years with her, my sister never enjoyed her marriage for 10years after she knew that how they are living and decided to marry so why complaining.

    The husband salary was nothing, after removing monthly allowance nothing remains and my Sis wasn't working, she married during her service year, children came in. Kia my mum supported her every month with money and food stuff without the husband knowledge cos he wouldn't have hear of it unto I'm the one to take care of my in-laws

    Years later 3 are medical doctor, 1 is a judge in family court, 2 are engineers and 1 is a lawyer. They are all professional. And all are married with kids and they don't joke with my sister, as in the treat her like egg and the husband is so rich now. He gave my sister a surprise bday party and he talk about the day he met her and all the things she endured, then we saw a car key, Range rover 2018 and a house key he bought it solely for my sis to rent it out if she like. That why my Sis is the real MVP to have endured all that. So inlaw wahala no easy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, thank God they appreciated all Her endurance

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    2. she really tried. Thank God the man remembers her edurance

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    3. Wow! She is indeed the real MVP!

      Delete
    4. Thank God it ended well. Initially you said 5 boys and a girl but at the end they were 7 kilode
      Chinwe Uba

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    5. Whewwww! Happy for your Sis but mehn, she tried o.

      Delete
    6. Wow. So happy for her.
      @ Unknown I think the 7 includes the husband of her sister. Maybe he is among the three medical doctors

      Delete
    7. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚, side eye πŸ€”πŸ™„πŸ˜ @ unknown. Na wah for you biko πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£

      Delete
  39. That was the biggest mistake I made before saying "yes" to my husband. Staying with 2 brothers and a friend. It's going to 2 years and I'm already feeling like running away from the union. I have a baby and I work too. Cooking for 4 men after picking my baby from the crèche is hard work. They don't even help me to carry baby while I do the work. I don't need a maid or nanny due to my bad experience with them. "See finish" is another problem. Who send me enter this Kain marriage biko. I complained to my husband about it and he carried it to his family telling them that I'm chasing his brothers away. I'm tired already

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some men are not very wise. Why will he report something like that? My hubby too went to tell his sister and mother my expected due date when i was pregnant.That man doesn't keep any secret.His family knows everything happening in our home. Just be patient with them, u will be fine

      Delete
    2. So sorry about what you are going through. Pls be patient, those people won't live with you forever. Also, mind what you discuss with your husband since you know the kind of man he is. Keep some things to yourself

      Delete
  40. My inlaws and I have not had any altercation so far even when I was living with them, just some side talks and petty complaints. This is because I have a loving and mature hubby.
    While with them, I did not sit down with them to gossip, they told hubby that I'm always indoors, I'm proud, etc. Hubby told them that I was an introvert and an indoor person and also I have things I'm doing inside. That one passed.
    They said I should be coming out to greet people in the compound when I wake up and not just lock myself inside all day. I started greeting them every morning.

    Father in law used to call me to come and wash his clothes even though two of his children, a lady and guy in their mid twenties were living with them, they were jobless. I still washed the clothes since there was no washing machine and I couldn't find any one to do it for a token. I would leave whatever I was doing and go wash them. Mother in law used to beg a lady to wash her own. I approached the lady, she said she does it to assist MIL and not for money.

    If I don't go to the church's evening service or home fellowship (we attended the same church) big mistake, FIL will report to hubby, that one will tell him that I was busy with the errands he sent me to do for him inside. The reports were so much that hubby had to warn him that I was not a kid, they should stop giving him unnecessary reports, if they don't want him there anymore they should give him time to move out. So they stopped reporting to him and resorted to gossips. They told everyone in the neighbourhood that it was proud, lazy, stingy, etc. Some even called me aside and asked me what the problem was.
    I had to quickly get a small teaching job within a month so I could be leaving home every morning at least.
    Last last, we moved out peacefully to a one room face me I face you apartment. That one too has its problems but hey, it's better.

    It's better not to live with inlaws in their own house, it causes 'see finish'. They can come visit you in your own house and go. My husband's two younger siblings would see me most mornings and ignore me, people that I'm older than by at least ten years. I used to ignore them too and greet only their mum and dad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U mk a gud decision by leaving d house,like mum use to say,(ile ofe,iya ofe)God will provide fr u and ur hubby,so dt u can stay in a comfortable house.

      Delete
    2. Nawa oooh.

      Nne you are suffering ooh.

      Pele ti ooh

      Delete
    3. God please visit Bv Courage and her family. Embarrass her with blessings and change her story for good in Jesus'Name.

      Delete
    4. Amen @ olayemi
      Anon 19:46. I was not suffering o. I was doing those things without grumbling cos I knew it was just a phase. Besides I had a husband who supported me and respected me. If he was the type that beats his wife or talks down on her in the presence of others, they would have turned me into a house girl. Since they know he doesn't give room for insults on his wife, they reduced their evils.
      Did I mention that I address his younger ones as brother and aunty? Lol. That is what wives do in this part.

      It doesn't reduce my age or position so no biggy. As long as they don't feed or clothe me, even the house where we lived then, it was my husband and his siblings that built it for their parents. My husband footed most of the expenses, no shaking.
      Now in our rented apartment, we changed to another branch of the church. It's now 'To your tents O Israel'.

      Delete
    5. Amen Castle. May He visit you too

      Delete
  41. My in-laws and I are like family. My brother in-law schools in the same state I am based. So he comes around when on break and I always enjoy his stay cos he can cook eh... and does house chores too.

    When I gave birth all of them came visiting as per first grand child and I enjoyed their stay because they did all the house chores including MIL. I am really blessed to have them

    ReplyDelete
  42. May the Lord bless all those who love their in laws genuinely. For those of us who have been burnt, may He comfort us.
    My experience is a sad one which I don’t want to go it but please pray and be sure before bringing in laws to your home.
    I paid dearly for mine. Still living with my scar.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I have been married for five years(TTC)and MIL visited us in January and she told me we should adopt.She said it doesn't matter if I carried the child,the most important thing is to have a child to love.I cried so much and my love for her increased.She has just two kids(hubby and his younger sister)she has never pressured me.Always telling me to enjoy my husband now because when kids come I won't have time again.I am grateful to God for giving me a good MIL and I pray I am able to take take care of her genuinely.God bless all the family who accept their in laws as their children and not a competition or slave.May 2019 be in favor of all of us in the waiting room.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May God bless your MIL and grant your earnest desire.

      Delete
  44. My father inlaw came to U.S for health reasons over two years now and has refused to go back to Nigeria.

    He insists on sitting at the front seat when my husband drives while i sit at the back seat with my children.
    I could not take it any more. So i resulted to driving to tbe same destination.

    The worst is living with your inlaws. Parents of the bride will always be peaceful and helpful but inlaws from the groom always feel entitled.

    ReplyDelete
  45. The problem is not livong with in-laws but seeing the wife as a maid or slave! The entitlement feeling of the husband siblings!

    The first 11 years of my marriage I was very unhappy, until they got married I began enjoying my marriage. 18 years of marriage is no joke!

    Overall, we are all cordial and respectful to each other. Nothing like living alone with your husband and children. If they visit, they should help out with chores like my own relations did.

    ReplyDelete

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