Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Friday, March 22, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Oh Dear!!!!!








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

MEMO TO A BV  


Good day Stella and Bvs.


4 months ago, you gave me a sum of money I needed to start up a biz, one of your line of businesses. Later, you said I will return one-third of the money and I did after two weeks. You said you GAVE me the remaining two-third. Everyone and I thanked you for the kind gestures and I always appreciate it. I am making profit from the biz, that I want to reinvest with the capital. I do tell you how the business is going and you manage it for me since it is your area of expertise. All thanks to God.


Yesterday, you introduced me to another one bt d money with me 170k( which I have gotten from the first plus personal savings) can't be enough to start this one. I said give me till month end to find d remaining 50k since I have the mind to reinvest the same 220k into the same deal before the end of April.


Normally, the profit should be mine if I use my capital and I will keep on reinvesting like that till I become grounded in the system. You said you have different plans for this deal o, I should use the 170k and take the balance from the savings we already reserved for our wedding. I disagreed cos we agreed not to touch that savings. You initially told me the biz deal is month end & I said I will hustle d 50k till month end. You know I keep to my words but I don't know what wired your anger .


Later, I allowed you to keep on talking and you said if I drop the 170k with me and I add 50k from our savings, we will refund the savings, refund my 170k maybe in few weeks or months( which is not feasible) and we will put the profit of about 200k into the "our wedding savings". You have never put more than 50k into that account, why should I put a profit of my business? Our agreement was to drop something into our wedding account MONTHLY.


I said wait till I gather the remaining 50k and the profit will be mine since it's my capital. At least you should be happy I am making progress in d biz. You are seeing result of the money you GAVE me. I didn't squander nor lavish it but thought of reinvestment.


But you want to use my own money to find money that you as an husband to-be should hustle for. I refused because I made that 170k with my sweat, discipline and I denied myself of all many things to pool the 170k. I keep telling you that I want to reinvest that money. The money we are saving for our wedding is as a result of our joint contributions. You are a successful businessman but you have never put any of your profit into that wedding prep account in the past.


Have I ever asked how you spend your profits? You have invested in that same line of deal five times in the past but you never thought of putting any of your profit there? Why should it start with me. You should have told me the money you gave me for a start was a loan and not now start using style to collect it back cs that's how I see it. It's another thing if you tell me to borrow you that 170k but you telling me to use it for business that I will not see profit is a put off for me. I am still a baby in this business and this is my second deal but you think I should be using the first profit to do wedding. If wedding isn't possible, let's shift it or end it.


You said I am acting smart and it won't pay me. Yimmu. You are a man. Oga go for the deal yourself then, use your capital and put that 200k profit into where you want me to put it "wedding account". I cannot start what I cannot finish. I will wait till April ending to run my own deal. Shebi that was what I wanted to do before you brought your connection that will now make me forfeit my profit. You are calling me names but nothing will change my stand. I cannot use my money indirectly to wed myself.


We run things together financially although it's in ratio 70:30. Ever since I have a source of income, I don't really make demands from you again so that you can have money to do more things. You promised to return the token you borrowed from me. Although it is just small money according to you but it was part of the business money. I didn't nag about it cos of the capital you assisted me with. I asked you twice now and you kept promising to return yet you buy stuff and make investments.


I have already told you that I can't shoulder responsibilities that you as a man should shoulder. I saw some things that made me rigid in my decision making and I'm not changing it. Simple. You're a BV and I'm sure you will see this.


Should I have approached this matter in a different way? I used Ronalda method and it didn't work at all.




111 comments:

  1. This is serious oh.. I'm just speechless, don't even know what to say...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I no understand anything. All I can see is money, account, wedding. Poster please forget this man and the marriage.

      Delete
    2. My only advice with nigerian men is to separate marriage and money.
      It always brings problem.
      Learn from Tiwa.
      Let your guy manage himself ONLY.
      Let him remove eye from your biz.
      Dont discuss money u are making with him.
      You might ask, is that one marriage?.
      I dont know. Shebi na you wan die there.
      Men are different, and if its this specie you want to end up with, so be it.
      Just be wise and separate him from your financial dealings.
      This reminds me of my mum.
      She was at home for years, there was peace and queit .
      The moment she got one small job like that, wahala landed.
      My father expected her to submit her salary at months end so he can tell her what to do with it.
      Na from there every thing scatter.
      Thank God my mum was promoted in d company and startef earning well when my father left us to die of hunger and come begging(these are his words).
      Long and short, Nigerian men are a weird species. Abi wicked sef. Hmmm

      Delete
    3. Babe pls stop telling him intimate details of ur biz. Nigerian men do not rest till they have finished the 10k u have even if they have a million. My husband Is like that so I’ve learnt not to give him details.

      Delete
    4. Had 2 scatter my brain n re-arrange it b4 I could make a meaning from dis post.

      In all uve said poster my biggest problem is why is this here? When u started did u post it? When he left part of his money with u, did u tell us?

      Oga wats s rush 4 when d deadline is April n march never end? Is it even a must that she must reinvent in d biz? Or do u want to stylishly collect ur money?

      Wait poster u deliberately avoided telling us d kind of deal ure in2 so no advice from Tess.

      Delete
    5. This chronichles is so confusing. I hate men that put eye in women's money honestly. I once dated a parasite like that in my life and I still swear for him when I remember him. The idiot will be waiting for end of the month when they pay me salary just to borrow money from me. He will even ask to see screenshot of my statement if I lie I havnt been paid. Useless bastard.
      By the time we broke up he was owing me 150k. I made sure his laptop that was with me I never returned it. That is how I sold it and retrieved my money.
      The guy I am dating now is even a workaholic and hustler that we fight that he works too much and we don't spend time enuf. Sometimes weekend I will think he is with a woman,he will video call me from his site. He doesn't know how much I earn or have interest in it. He is a real man that knows he should care for a woman and has no business with her money.

      Delete
  2. Money already causing issues before marriage?


    Abeg make I dey go where I dey go.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Pls dont marry him. cancel that wedding

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ladies, be careful the kind of advices u take on this blog. Everything is not gragra. No man is perfect.

      Delete
    2. Be there deceiving yoursef you hear. under price yoursef becos no man is perfect. when you see danger and still go ahead becos of your low self esteem or you just want to marry, dont come back here and cry foul o. be careful about the choices that you make, marriage will not solve the problem or change anyone.

      Delete
  4. Smart woman. Men this days r funny. So many Churchill’s in d system, make u pay bride price with your money. Nne ur head Dey there. Stop disclosing All your profits. Give him 50% keep d rest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pleasant surprises22 March 2019 at 17:01

      Why should she give him 50%, poster pls pocket your money and take a walk the Man is a manipulator period!

      Delete
  5. Money ruins relationships if not well managed. I left one, money and all.

    How do people cope with men that can't take their eyes off your money?

    Mehn!!!!!
    The life of an independent career lady.

    Poster, do stand your ground and let him be the man. Although I don't know if this relationship started before or after the business capital was given.

    This dude will split bills with you even if he is way richer.

    Where are the likes of my dad that still paid the bills even tho my mom had a job?

    Oh Lord!!!! It ain't as easy as I envisaged ooo

    ReplyDelete
  6. Poster, please leave this man, the money and the wedding plans. This man obviously thinks he's doing you a favour. Some gifts are not an answer to prayer. They're Trojan horses and poisoned chalices sent by the devil to trap and destroy you. I shudder because you will SUFFER if you marry this man; God is showing you this man's character. Tomorrow, he will open his mouth and say he made you. This isn't a man that will shield you, he will expose you to public ridicule.

    I have mothnot against Ronalda and I don't know her. But from her advice, she seems very presumptuous. She seems to think there's a one size fits all strategy to deal with every man. She comes across as someone who is married to a sane man, so believes every man is sane. I laugh in Chinese.

    Marriage is not a rescue plan. This is not your husband. God is not in this thing you went and put yourself. You have been warned.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe he has a small dick and equally short.

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    2. At 15.15. We’ll said. He saw the lady’s potential at turning stone to gold. He will exploit u. Since ur hands r good in biz. Find capital elsewhere and establish yourself

      Delete
    3. I concur. Ronalda's method works on sane men only.

      Delete
    4. @Nice Mum but where can one find a sane man, that's the issue???
      What planet do they live, let somebody find ticket and go and meet them.

      Delete
  7. I think Karma is having its effect on you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wahalahi... Shingbai..πŸ™†πŸ™†πŸ™†
    I no understand..πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Who's lending money? Who's making d money? Abehg make ur own money..
    πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„


    I am dozing off this for afyseboon ...

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is very interesting, now I'm beginning to believe that most Nigerian men do not pray good for their spouses when it comes to financial independence. What sort of crap is this. God please continue to open the eyes of the females ohhhh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Not when they see every financially stable woman as à meal 🎫. Further prayers are not required 😁

      Delete
  10. Ayam not understanding this chronicle ..o

    ReplyDelete
  11. Replies
    1. Me too. Very lost

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    2. I hate the pattern of writing the chronicle. Didn't have the patience to read to the end

      Delete
  12. Hmmmmmmm...... Let me be reading comments.
    I'll make comments after reading .

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hmm Jesus fix it. My head is turninonion already

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too 😁
      I'll go back and read after eating.

      Delete
  14. Hmmm BV Oga man you see myself!? Claiming man when infact you're a small boy, im sure your brother is that boy that leaves in America that tithes with his wife's money and give his pastor $250 birthday gift from the wife's purse. You now dey use style thinking the lady is not smart but guess whatttttttttt ntorrrrrrrrr πŸ˜‹

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  15. Couldn't read this. 🚢🏾🚢🏾🚢🏾

    ReplyDelete
  16. just write normal but you will be forming only God knows what!!!!!

    abeg abeg abeg... rewrite this rubbish

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate this pattern too. Just write normal and explain well. Is that asking for too much??

      I can't deal abeg

      Delete
  17. Ok you applied Ronalda's method and it didn't work. Now you're on Queen and the boss method πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚wicked soul

      Delete
    2. LOOOOOOL Anon 15:33 u get am 🀣🀣

      Delete
    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜. I am seriously lost. I didn't understand Nada.

      Delete
    4. LMAO. Although I don't endorse Queen's method, the man just like Emeka Ike does not qualify for pigeon knacking or putting inside bottle.

      Delete
    5. Nice mum That's not the method they are talking about o!

      Delete
  18. Stella hands are tied down on this matter.This is a BVS{in house}.I am waiting for her red pen

    ReplyDelete
  19. Why do people listen to Ronalda? πŸ˜„ I find those long epistles too boring like those over sabi aunties. Anyway your chronicle is confusing Af poster

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm telling you. Girl dreams too much.

      Delete
    2. Abeg allow us to read Ronalda's fairytales. They're just what they are....fairytales

      Delete
    3. IMO, Ronalda is always on point.

      Delete
    4. I honestly don’t think Ronaldaa’s methods work on a sane men because a sane man won’t need all that begging and romancing just to get him to communicate or help out his partner. Any relationship where you can’t express yourself normally or demand things without going the extra mile to manipulate is not healthy. Even God almighty doesn’t require us to do much to get things from him, how much so a man? I believe the way we worship Nigerian men is idolatry, and they to have begun to place themselves as idols

      Delete
    5. I agree with you anon 18:36pm. Pure idolatry.

      Delete
  20. Poster, you're wise person. You're someone who will be difficult to manipulate. It's a good thing you wisened up & refused to invest in a venture your man isn't willing to reciprocate same energy into. Whatever you do,, just don't loose your common sense.. more profits, more blessings sis

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes o, please keep your finances private. He seems like the type that will give 100k capital and stylishly collect back 1m till the business is ruined. Let him also put his profit in wedding account. If he is not ready to wed you just pay back his capital and walk away. The signs are clear for you to see. Don't marry yourself o and begin paying all the bills because he gave you business capital of 100/150k

      Delete
  21. Madam Stella where is your red pen o. E b like say this one big pass you.

    ReplyDelete
  22. hahahahahahahah i was lost at first then took time to read again.


    hanty do not try that mistake of marrying this man. Most men are crazy aswear. where do u guys meet such men sef?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Na wa o...na wife be this??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No ooo na husband, mtcheeww

      Delete
  24. If u marry this guy, u will funds wedding yourself, pay house rent, buy food, you will foot 70% of housebills, if u have no problem being d breadwinner, fire ahead, you go tire when he gives u belle add on top.

    Oga bv, be a man, not a sissy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The man sounds wicked and selfish.

      Delete
  25. Meeehhh let me be honest i got lost halfway through. I will probably read again later on when my brain is cooler

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  26. I am experiencing this, didn't see it at the beginning cos he was pretending. Pls run away sharp sharp oh or live to regret it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pls let us know your story so we can learn. God save us from pretenders.

      Delete
  27. Both of you need to sit and talk.


    Bare your mind to each other

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This one pass talk. E be like sey the table is not only shaken but broken. Oga you fit reply make we hear ya own side...

      Delete
  28. Don't quit the relationship yet. Just tell him what you've said. You won't put all your profit in the wedding avvount

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  29. You're a wise woman poster , shine your eyes very well before you start hearing stories that touch.

    ReplyDelete
  30. My darling, which of my methods did you use, the Queen Esther trick? That's meant for husbands, not boyfriends. Sweetheart, there are certain things that don't mesh, fire and petrol, a lion and a tiger's cub, electricity and water, a romantic relationship and business. A shrewd businessman will make a terrible lover because he will turn off all the lovey dovey frequency and be purely business minded.

    Sweetheart, it is during courtship you get to know the character of your intended spouse, if you see character flaws and traits that put you off, you end the relationship. There's no Queen Esther or Cleopatra trick that will work on the wrong man. Once you are married, you don't have the luxury of just ending things. I maintain my stance on how to sweeten the pot, as it were, to get your HUBBY to do things you want him to do. It has worked for me for about 17 years, it has worked for some ladies I know, but I never said it MUST work for everyone, it's not sorcery.

    Honey, when you're dating, your man is supposed to jump through hoops for you. He does most of the heavy lifting to prove that he is worthy of your affections. It is after you get married that you prove to him that he made the right choice. He becomes your King and you his Queen. Sweetie, if you marry a joker instead of a King, you can't reasonably expect the royal treatment, can you? Now that he has shown you this side of him, if you go ahead with the marriage, you can't hold anyone responsible when things really begin to go south.

    Why do some of you keep saying " Ronalda thinks it will work for every man"? I have NEVER said my suggestions are foolproof, that it works for me doesn't mean it will work for everyone. I categorically state that there's no one size fits all marital advice, yet people keep claiming that. I have said the key is know your man and what works for him. It is wrong to make a suggestion? It is so wrong to advice wives to spoil their husbands with love and attention? It is criminal to suggest tenderness instead of aggression? So if I have a " trick" that works for me, is it wrong to share? Please go back to my comments, I suggest not force. I encourage women to try it. Instead of fighting and quarrelling with your husband over an issue, treat him right and bring it up when he's relaxed and see if it works. It's merely a SUGGESTION. I hope you make the right decision now that you can still pull out.

    e-hugs and kisses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you’re acting like your suggestions don’t imply that the woman’s problems are not because she’s not “treating the man like a king” this is problematic because the women who send in chronicles are detailing ABUSE! Domestic abuse including hitting, emotional neglect, infidelity, financial abuse etc
      Such a woman already in such a situation took your advice and because this is real life and not a Tony Umez movie or a CWO Christian mother narrative, it backfired.
      Sending your advice listed with hugs and kisses and “dearie” and “darling” doesn’t make it any less destructive

      Delete
    2. Ronalda, "A shrewd businessman will make a terrible lover"?

      Okay, this kind of sweeping statement will set women up for problems & teach them to expect and tolerate crappy behaviour. My husband is a shrewd businessman; one of the best. He is NOT a terrible lover. Actually, nothing about him is terrible but I digress. My point is this "shrewd businessman automatically translates into terrible lover" rhetoric is as false as it is dangerous. It's like someone saying "a female lawyer will make a horrible wife". Being thought of as a genius in business isn't and will never be a good enough excuse to be a sh*tty human being.

      Delete
    3. Lol @ “husbands, not boyfriends” like there’s something about a piece of paper that makes men more or less deserving of anything. White people that treat their boyfriends like life partners don’t get this advice why? Because their men don’t treat them like shit. And when they do the law steps in. The woman won’t be advised to cook for him. Imagine seeing that in a Hollywood movie, how ridiculous that would look. And yet we expect that of our own women and wonder why the men don’t treat us like human beings

      In Portharcourt an oil company had to insist women made their children next of kin because the married women kept dying mysteriously and their husbands immediately came to claim their life insurance. Many men from just one firm. And of course this happens in many other firms. And you want to think Nigerian men are not the problem, that it’s food and adoration that will make their abusive tendencies go away.

      Delete
    4. Please reduce the use of endearment its irritating to say the least.

      So u mean until I marry my partner ur advice(s) wont n cant b applicable? Ok then, mk i begin add then to my to-do list pending when I qualify.

      Delete
    5. Ronalda, I don't know how you're reading your own Bible, but Queen Esther didn't employ any trickery. Trickery is more of a Queen Jezebel or Athaliah move. All these "You're a Queen" comments are laughable cos there are different queens. Each has traits that are so distinctive that they can't be confused or meshed with others. Queen Rania of Jordan isn't and can NEVER be Queen Elizabeth. They're both different queens. That's why even in this day and age, you cannot uproot Olori Naomi (wife of the Ooni of Ife) and put her in the palace of say the Alafin of Oyo, and say "A queen is a queen". Apart from the uggghhh factor of such an arrangement, queens are so specific that they're called to specific kingdoms of specific kings with specific people for specific purposes.

      If you think food was what caused a king to favour Queen Esther, you are very naive. Her husband was a king on the throne when she met him. He wasn't starving. There's no food at the banquet she had, that he had not seen or eaten before. He had a whole harem of women, such that there were some he never saw again after the first time - imagine having so many women that you don't remember their names. So, s*x wasn't the thing moving him, either.

      Queen Esther didn't massage his ego; HE was the one that kept asking what SHE wanted. And no, it wasn't because of food. Like I said before, I don't know how you're reading your own Bible. I can't comment on Cleopatra cos I don't know enough about her or her situation, to deduce what may have been going through her mind.

      If you use tricks on your husband, own it. That is not a Queen Esther trait so don't attribute it to her. While you come across as an intelligent woman, I'm shaking my head because some of your advice will get many women on this blog, killed. The rules of ADR, and negotiation in cushy tribunals and cute law firms do NOT always work IRL.

      Delete
    6. Oh my God! Jumping through hoops, where do you people get some of these ideas? Jumping through hoops is performing for an audience, literally and metaphorically. That's not sustainable cos that's not the real character you're seeing. It's why many people find themselves suffering in marriage; the partner put up a performance, only to enter house and the real character shows up.

      Does most of the heavy lifting while dating, then when you marry the wife does? That's why some are crying today; the man no longer does any of the things he did while courting. And why should he; it was his jumping through hoops/heavy lifting time. Going by this your advice, Adesua should have walked out on Banky as soon as she saw cancer diagnosis; after all, they were not yet married and that was heavy lifting. So, in this day and age with many daughters of Satan walking about, you think a man should wait till he's already married to be sure he made the right choice? Ronalda, i ga'egbukwa mmadu with this kain advice.

      I keep re-reading your comment and I'm shook at how dangerous it is.

      Delete
  31. Poster please before u marry this ur man look well,see all the signs right in face oh!!! Men mmm,so u can't help the woman you said u want to marry for free ? Nne Run this one no follow oh !!!!!.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I see murder occurring immediately after marriage, see pre marriage chronicle abeg,one chance

    ReplyDelete
  33. Now I understand.
    Men poster I love ur not been desperate to get married..
    Don't start what you can't finish.
    He is a selfish person
    He does not have a free hand.
    A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  34. From what I gathered..Your fiancΓ© gifted you money and introduced you to his line of business. You did well, made profit and decided to reinvest with your profit.

    You both opened a savings account for your Wedding and it seems you are the only one saving for the wedding plus he seems to be interested in your profits as your benefactor.

    MY advice - Talk things out with him, he is your benefactor afterall. If the relationship aspect isn't working and it seems you are not even interested again..at least, maintain good business rapport. Good luck, sis.

    ReplyDelete
  35. i only saw 170k...220...invest...feasible i just couldn't grab it...some1 pls summarise o

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  36. Can someone please summarize this cos I no understand at all. Is he a BV or your BF?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Both, I think. Replying on behalf of the poster.

      Delete
  37. Unless i have the whole story mixed up, but it appears as though this man has been picking up bills and basically provided the funds for the business. While she is adept at making profits, the man seems to assume that since it is his money that she should do everything his way.

    Let me ask a simple question, poster do you really think this is a bad person? And somehow i feel you're kinda selfish. Making money has brought out something in you. He is not without blame, but you are very flawed in your thinking. You know this man better than us, is he stingy to you? Does he maltreat you? When he has money does he treat you fine? Does he respect you?

    If you provide the answers that i imagine you will, then you should realize that you are being naive. Think well. Some women feel battling a man is the best way to "ASSERT YOUR RIGHT". She can always "STOOP" to conquer. Think well before someone else gets a good man that your questionable attitude will drive away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster nor go enter one chance. Discuss with your man and watch. If things don't change or change for the worse, waka!

      Delete
    2. He is giving her capital and expecting the profits. Who does that? Even a bank doesn’t do that. If anything he should insist she pay him back the loan and leave it at that. He obviously sees her as a cash cow that he can capitalise on

      Delete
    3. No one gives their cash cow money. 17:36 you are a wise one. Most ladies on here bashing the man. I am sorry for you poster. I am a man. By Gods grace a wealthy man. I not only handled 80% of my fiancΓ©es fees and all through school but I established a business for her with about 3 million. I did all that in my twenties. I am currently 33 and we will wed God willing this year. Things were tight one time and I asked her for some money regularly till I got back on my feet. It was quite a lot. There were no guarantees or assurance that I would pay back. But she gave it whole haeartedly because I hit a dry spell. The problem with Nigerian in relationships and you especially poster is that everyone goes in not wanting to be cheated and trying to one up or outsmart the other party. This is usually based on past experience or bad advice, that comes from equally disillusioned and sad people. Who make blanket statements such as “Who dey train woman for this day and age” “never let a man know your worth” never this and never that. Ok let me ask you. This man gave you the entire money you used to start up a business, then her taught you about the business and how profitable it is. Then he accepted only a 3rd of the loan back and dashed you 2/3rds. Pls tell me since he is such a bad person as you are painting him why did he act so generous towards you. There are so many men who don’t give their women even wives a pin to start a business. Let alone not collect a payment back and some of the ladies bashing your man are married to or dating men like that. Also why did your parents, siblings, Uncle, aunt, male and or female friends and acquaintances not lend and dash you capital for the business? The person who did is now evil and trying to control you or use you! I gave my example because. My recently graduated, very beautiful now making her own money girlfriend could simply have taken a walk or accused me of being a user or all sorts when I was requesting for assistance from her to get back on my feet. In the end I got a contract paid her back and more and we are very very good and I know that I can trust her and that she is loyal and appreciative of the support I’ve shown her over the years. In the past I dated a girl Who I loved with everything and supported all her ideas and goals with serious input. Eg using a whole months salary to pay for courses for her, clearing her goods to support her business etc. she didn’t appreciate it, cheated etc. I was sad and vowed never to ever do such again. But I met this current lady and did even more and when push came to shove she stood strong and still supported and respected and valued and esteemed me. You must understand that you are a unit. Let go of that lack mentality and over caution before you loose a good man. He opened a marriage fund and you feel he has no right to ask you to contribute or he isn’t contributing etc and you don’t want to “marry yourself” lol. You are funny. We have a marriage budget. My girl is handling 20% of the expense. She wanted to do 30%. Not because I can’t handle it all, but because she insists that she support also. I pray that you and you man would be alright. You need a heart to heart conversation and pls soften your tone and approach. Money is important in a marriage yes. But you shouldn’t ever make it so important that your relationship starts to look like a business enterprise. Best wishes.

      Delete
    4. Anon 8:23 are you asking your fiancee to put all her money in your wedding fund? From what you've written up there, no! You're handling 80% of your own wedding budget. The poster will end up marrying herself cos the useless man she's with, hasn't put in a dime. A man that gives capital to begin a business, then wants to eat all the profits is who you're arguing for? Even God doesn't do like this! If you think what he's doing is okay, try it with your fiancee and watch how quickly you'll be single. He's even calling her names cos of money.

      I want to believe it's the poster who refused to write clearly but wrote her chronicle like an upside down script, that's causing your confusion.

      Delete
    5. Anon 8:23, God bless your marriage. Amen.

      Delete
  38. They're both BV'S

    ReplyDelete
  39. CELLGEVITY Lagos ...0818006888622 March 2019 at 17:53

    What money will cause hmmmm.
    @ husband to be, always remember to do unto others what you wish them do to you.
    @ poster, God is your strength , don't be moved

    ReplyDelete
  40. Both of you are not meant for each other,both of you are selfish human being's.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I will like to read from the guy before going further. You sound like you're flawless and right in everything you're doing.
    I won't judge him based on what you wrote, Who knows if you're trying to paint yourself like a saint.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An anonymous person will come online to lie to strangers from all over the world while seeking advice so that what will happen

      Delete
    2. Shift abeg. You always insist on hearing from the other side because that's the side you want to believe. Mtchewww

      Delete
    3. Amon 21:23 very possible. Most people dont want the truth basically , they just want to hear they are right.

      Delete
  42. Think we'll before you commit yourself fully to him. At least, he's not hiding his character or personality now. I'm married to a man who never showed me his true nature until after the wedding. A healthy full bodied man is now hiding behind his kids to live off me perpetually for over 13 years out of 17 years we've been married. The only thing he can lay claim to in our home (I built the house, by the way) is the bed in his room. I pay the kids school fees, feed the family etc. He'll turn down employment opportunities on the flimsiest of excuses. Need I mention the number of times he's twisted my hands into giving him huge sums to start off business ideas only for him to set up office and sit at home waiting for me to give him transport fare to same office. I got tired off everything. Now, na sidon look I dey. I have done more than my fair share of support for a man that never sees any good in my advices until he hears same from a total stranger.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Hummmm I ended a relationship of over a year in January because of money issues.
    This bastard of a man lived in my house for free, eat my food, slept with me, borrowed money from me and refused to pay until I had to ask him! He wanted to kill himself ontop my salary! He thought it was his right to know every penny I earned including money I earned from my business.
    Anytime he heared my phone ring for business, he will ask me to borrow him money! He will ask me to pay for food anytime we went on dates, use my car and not replace the fuel etc
    Gosh I don’t know how i stayed in that relationship for over a year.
    Chronicle of a single successful 36 year old looking for love.
    I thank God for my life! This bastard would have ruined me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry to say but you gave too much of yourself. Why should a man you are not married to live in your house, free sex, free food, what message do you think that conveys?

      Delete
  44. Controlling men, they act like devils. Give u with one hand and take with the other

    ReplyDelete
  45. I think a lot of "men" carefully select their victims

    ReplyDelete
  46. Dont be deceived
    A lot of men.marry for funny and selfish reasons


    Think woman think

    Why is he marrying me?

    Or why is did he choose me?

    Make sure you are not insecure because it draws them like moth to flame

    Make sure he is not insecure
    No.matter how rich, powerful if he is insecure

    You are in trouble

    ReplyDelete
  47. Different kinds of evolving trouble

    ReplyDelete
  48. Dear Poster, i think you should call this "money-lover-man" of yours and ask him what he really want in this relationship (if any). But, i'm glad for being smartly-wise, girl. keep it up.

    ReplyDelete

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