STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE LONG WAIT
I have been dating him for the past seven years, we had our little ups and down!! He is a footballer and we are still waiting on God, he had some pending traveling deals which has not been accomplished... he is not stingy, he gives when he has but I’m tired now...
There has been no major financial breakthrough, I have been literally taking care of myself for the past 4 years now, he refused to work!! His football career is of utmost paramount to him, he has gone for many trials... I don’t even know what I’m saying sef, I just know I’m completely fed up,for how long will I continue to wait for a footballer who has nothing...I have broken up with him 1000 times in my mind but twice physically.. he almost ran mad for the two times I attempted to break up with him, his mum had to ask if we took an oath!!!
O ti su mi and I can’t seem to also move on! He’s first boyfriend and I love him so much, married men are the people after me and I no fit date them but now love can’t seems to do much
*you are the one taking care of yourself for four years now?Look at your mindset!!!...WHO ELSE SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU if not you???
I guess you have been looking at success stories of Footballers wives on Instagram?
Your mindset must also have a negative effect on him..ah ah..
7 years is too long a time to wait,so please if you see no progress and cannot bear,then move on dear!!!
*you are the one taking care of yourself for four years now?Look at your mindset!!!...WHO ELSE SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU if not you???
I guess you have been looking at success stories of Footballers wives on Instagram?
Your mindset must also have a negative effect on him..ah ah..
7 years is too long a time to wait,so please if you see no progress and cannot bear,then move on dear!!!
This is like holding you down to nothing. No progress no way forward. I think you need a very long break from him.
ReplyDeleteI really need to understand this thing of if you are dating a guy he should not take care of you, you should not ask for financial assistant. Why should it be so Stella, because you always say this things, always.
DeleteI stand with doppelganger on this. (Also, no one should ever settle for someone who can’t take care of themselves or their partner because when you eventually marry it would get worse). Absolutely. How do the likes of Toke, Ini, Genevieve, and co get all the luxuries from guys they date if they don't ask or the men give. Stella please stop it, it is a man's right to take care of a woman during courtship or relationship. There is no wrong mentality there.
Comment coming from a self entitled human being @ anon 15:43.
DeleteSo once you're in a relationship, the guy must be spending on you at all time. What stop you from doing the same? Why do you think once a man is dating you, then he's owing you money?
Something must be wrong with people that are thinking like you.
I have a Cousin who is also a footballer too, nothing to show for it though, he travel out for a very long time, came back with nothing, right now he is in Lagos still doing the football stuff, me I only speak to him every once in a while. My only issue is, He should take care of his mum. He doesn't want to look for Job. He is still looking for big hit in professional league.
DeleteMay I never come across people like this Anon 15:43. WTF
DeleteFootball is like music. It’s luck that will make him get a break! Have you been to London training grounds and see the amount of stars they churn out?
DeleteI am a guy and I will tell you the truth. I know that not all men are same or will think like me but he knows married men are after you, he knows you are considering it if you haven’t even slept with a few, he knows you broke up before because of money, he knows you are being rude, he knows you are tired and even though you love him, you treat him like thrash. He knows all of it and men don’t forget things. We never forget! If he becomes made tomorrow, he will get another chick that he believes is more loyal! I know it doesn’t make sense to women but that’s how men think!
You aren’t enough for him believe me. He is staying because he has no choice and you are treating him anyhow.
The solution is to leave him. Give a deadline to when you can wait for and be gone for good if there’s no progress. Forgive yourself so that even if he comes successful tomorrow when you have moved on, stay moved on! However if you are still free when things shape up, he will come back for you 100% but you have to move on first for him to come back and this is something that men do to women too and it works over over over and over again and is more advanced than okafor’s law.
If you want to help him, try to get him to pay bribe if necessary to get into teams. That’s the way forward in Nigeria even though it’s bad. I have done things in my life I am not proud of but if I didn’t get dirty, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I have friends who still ask me for $50, $100 handouts but I already have two houses in Atlanta. So you see, he can’t depend on his skills alone to get anywhere in naija.
Wow. This is what happened between WizKid n shola.
DeleteAnon 15.43 tomorrow you will say gender equality. Feminism.... psheww go and ask the people you sighted what they did to get the money they have if they will agree to tell you the truth. Is it boyfriends, fiance's or sugar daddies who gave them what they have.... pshewww
DeleteYou go old.
ReplyDeleteHe's a man, at 50, he can get a 22yo to marry o.
Be wise.
@Blackey
DeleteUna don dey wake up to reality?
The other day, you dey tell one sisi
say man and woman na the same, nothing spoil okwa ya?
Make una dey wait for abroad footballer unu anugonu?
😊😊😊😊😊
Poster I understand you perfectly. Stella I grew up in an environment where a lot of guys wanted to be footballers.They don't work!!! All they do every morning and evening is go to one field for practice. They always have one big bros they call coach that'll be deceiving them not to work. He collected money from all of them promising papers to go and play abroad. He later ran away with their money. They don't work, school or learn any trade. They look for girls to date that'll feed them, give them money and even steal from their parents to give to them. Out of all them that I knew growing up non of them is playing professional football till this day even local league. Now they're jobless, no education and no hand work. The smart one among them went to learn hair barbing. He's the only one with a tangible source of income. The rest are doing yahoo.
DeletePoster I'll advise you to encourage your boyfriend to get a job or learn a trade as a back up plan. Getting into football as a professional is one of the hardest things in Nigeria. Stella trust me on this, those "footballer" guys are very lazy. If it's not football they won't work even house chores.
Anon 16:32 did/do you live in Igando because you just described the travails of most Igando boys I swear
DeleteKeep Sniper away form him.....
DeleteIf you see Regina Daniels now you'll be cursing her meanwhile you're crying just because you took care of yourself for just 4years. Mtschewwww
ReplyDeleteShut up, not everyone is hungry like you praising Regina.
Delete15.25 if you're not hungry stop waiting on men to give you money just because you're dating them. Why are you even angry?...let me help you = hunger/poverty!
DeleteWho is praising Regina here? Anon 15.25 read well abeg, don't let your anger that is caused by hunger to blind you.
DeleteI waited for my own footballer up to old age,then I decided to give myself a brain. Up till today, ordinary Rangers football club Enugu he no fit play! Na only for his street and next street matches he still dey play. A word is enough for the wise!
ReplyDeleteSo this Pharisee woman na old woman?
DeleteAjuju n' ese okwu
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Okwunyeka
DeleteMy dear chief pharisee I started dating him at age 16,I didn't say sleeping with him ooo.. Maka ndi uta!
DeleteFan you really sabi them. They don't work cause they don't want anything to happen to their money making legs. The only thing that stops them is once they get to the age where no football club can sign them. Until then, poster you're on your own.
Delete@Fan
DeleteFrom the "age of 16 to old age"
No be me write am there o
Thanks for clarifying yasef inugo?
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
And today you are praising the "16 year old" that is sleeping with Davido?
DeletePharisee headmistress.
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣street football
DeleteAs crazy as it seems, the day you decide to move on and you break up with him might be the day he breaks through.
ReplyDeleteThe thing just dey remind me of that yeye Acrimony.
But if you're moving on, make sure it's to someone better and assuring.
If I hear!😏
Delete😂😂
DeleteI swear I thought of Acrimony too
This your reply reminded me of a very funny story in my village.They were secondary school lovers ,went to universities ,did NYSC .The Lady got a job but the guy was not lucky to get one.He was as a matter of fact managing with a friend in Lagos.
DeleteDuring one holiday,the lady went on vacation and in the process met a guy that has a job,a car and a well furnished flat. Guyman asked her out and without further waste of time she agreed and got back home to break up with the first guy saying she could no longer wait.The guy begged wept brought common friends to beg babe for where,she no agree.
To cut a long story short,the lady moved on but the guy was seriously down as a result of the lady's action.
Not up-to two month after the break up,the military administrator wanted to appoint a commissioner from my town,he called for nominations,all the people nominated had one issue or the other the administrator remembered that this guy that was just jilted supervised a project as a corper project that he commissioned and commended him during commissioning.
Na so the military administrator take appoint the guy as commissioner for works oooo.When his name was anounced he did not believe it.Friends rally round to buy him safari suite he wore for swearing in.His life took a 360 degree turn around after
It was a major miracle.From nothing to something.Every body that knew about their case begin talk say na the woman they block the guy o.
During the guy's wedding,the Governor and all commissioners were in attendance and guess what he got married before the lady.
We need to be very prayerful before taking some decisions.
You think life is nollywood movie abi?
DeleteSounds like that Paul okoye music, as d girl moved on he hit it big.
DeleteReason with me song yes that was exactly what happened. That Paul Okoye's song the ex girlfriend regretted her actions.
DeleteChinwe Uba
Awww! Sis wanna be a WAG. 🤣
ReplyDeleteSo what is WAG?
DeletePerxian can you blame her? Who wouldn't want to get down with a husband that can earn 120k pounds a week is it had clicked?
DeleteBut sis what else is he doing while he waits for the football thing to click? I absolutely detest a man who sees one thing is taking time to happen does nothing on the sides or has a plan B. It's up to you at the end, but a man who for the last 4 years could not stabilize himself financially yet is hoping on a pipe dream dikwa risky. How old is he again? I'm asking because this football thing is determined by age, nobody is going to sign up a man who has passed his prime.
Ralu m, She lost me at "he refused to work". I blanked the rest out
DeleteYou are your own problem o.
ReplyDeleteMove on, the guy is not ready to do something with his life and you apparently need someone who would be a financier as well as a lover.
Truth is you’re not happy and you haven’t moved on because you’re scared using the “first lover” tag to hold yourself back. Also, no one should ever settle for someone who can’t take care of themselves or their partner because when you eventually marry it would get worse.
Footballer that has not blown since you’ve been with him for the past 7 years may never blow and perhaps maybe you both aren’t suited for each other. This is what happened in that movie where Taraji went mad and killed her husband.
He may blow just when you leave him and you’d be upset cos why you’ve stayed is because you’ve hoped to live large from his pocket. Honey, move on and get someone who can meet your needs just how you want. Both of you may not progress as a unit as long as you continue to stay together. Have you tried to help him see other things he can do asides football? Asked him why it’s football or nothing else? I can’t stay with someone like him sha but since you have refused to leave him then help him with solution to make his dream come true or walk away while you still can do you don’t get bitter tomorrow and claim you suffered with him and deserve to enjoy whenever his dreams come true.
"Utmost paramount?"
ReplyDeleteEeeeeeeeeehhhhhhh?
The PARAMOUNT thing is for you to take care of yourself and make you commot from that
social mmebi page of "footballer's wives" and them fake lives.
The thing that should be of UTMOST concern to you is how to develop
yourself and marry an honest earner.
Stop looking for way to "abroad" cos
you fit land for inside gutter inugo?
Naija girls/abroad/marriage -bad mixture!
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🤓
DeleteYou're taking of yourself for four years, who are you expecting to be taking care of you before? Are you married to him or what? So because you're in a relationship with him, he should shoulder your responsibility? Where are your parents or are you handicapped ?
ReplyDeleteNonsense mindset. Go meet your parents for your upkeep or you work harder, the guy owes you nothing.
My dear most elderly ladies whom are single today had these issues.staying sooo long in a relationship.
ReplyDeleteIf you can not wait walk away.
What if there is no break.then you both have wasted your years esp you as a woman.
What if there is a break???.
Single guys are not coming because you are still with him.
My sincere advice is walk away.time waits for no one.what if your hubby is also wealthy .
A woman's times goes away like a flower.
I can only but laugh to this chronicle😂😂😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteSeven years is a really long time to waste u know. A business that was developed for seven years should be yeilding results. A child of seven years should be in mid primary school. A career part of seven years should make one seasoned...the list goes on. That's how much time seven Years is.... There is nothing wrong with him wanting to chase his dreams. But my dear theres everytin wrong with him not wanting to pursue other hustles while chasing his dreams. The person u described is just a man child. You know where the shoe hurts . There lies ur resolve. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteHe has refused to work, just waiting on traveling deals for his football career... Lazy Nigerian youth! Whatever happened to earning to survive while he waits? This one na one chance oo!
ReplyDeleteSince the both of U can't seem to move on now, then remain in it while U look out for a better choice. Who knows? He might get the deals & even dump U for not believing in him when he needed U to...
All the best, Nne...
Both of you should go for deliverance. His not blowing is foundational problem.
ReplyDeleteI will suggest you leave him but since he will commit suicide. Help him to deal with the foundational problems affecting him.m
Long wait. I don't get, is the wait for a breakthrough or for marriage? Maybe he doesn't desire marriage.. or maybe he does but not now.
ReplyDeletePoster have you watched the movie ACRIMONY? Think about your decision over and over again...las las you'll be fine.
ReplyDelete😂 😂 at taking care of your self for 4years,shay na me suppose take care of you??? Move on and make life meaningful for yourself
ReplyDeletePoster, do you have any suitors coming? If none, pray with this ur guy. Let God show him mercy. But if other serious offers come,pls relocate and leave him. Na this types of guy dey bone their babes when dem hammer sef.
ReplyDeleteFinally the guy get to play international my dear he won't remember you .he will find himself good onyibo model . Better break up.
ReplyDeleteI will advice, you hold on a little. I am in the same shit. If I try to move on, he will start talking about killing himself. Life is not just fair.
ReplyDeleteStop letting a man guilt trip you. Leave him alone and let him kill himself if he can, dont let him use suicide threat to hold you down.
DeleteWake and leave that idiot!
Hes black mailing u emotionally sis
DeleteThis is emotional blackmail, don't fall for it
DeleteMadam, I even help you thank God say u dey see yourself take care of.. I know you've tried too and tired of waiting but we just have to trust the timing of one's life (I.e different journey/timing of success achievement for different people).
ReplyDeleteIf you no longer believe in him, he believes in himself and I love the fact that he is not giving up despite the number of NO's he has recieved.. He will definitely breakthrough, so it's either you keep up till that breakthrough happens or you leave him so doors can open for him coz this your mindset fit be the problem wey the guy get sef.
Note: don't coman be disturbing us later by saying "u suffered with him when the guy blow after u don follow another person go"
My dear a man can stay up to 60 years before getting married. He has nothing to lose because he can easily get an 18 years old girl to marry and bear children for him but for the women it's not so. Wise up and move on. Dont tie yourself down. keep taking care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteFor the first time ever, I'll say go with Stella's advice
ReplyDeleteAsk yourself if he is still within the age to make it in football. Usually those who succeed in football, are those who get signed when still young. If your man is above 25- 27, my dear tell him to look for another career. Professional football is not meant for him. He can even start looking into another career path in sports, maybe like agent or coach (but coach own hard well well).
ReplyDeleteYou didn't tell us his age, you didn't state yours also, how do we help you then.
When footballers start approaching 30, they start preparing for retirement , but I dunno about this your own.
Date a man whose career and dreams you can support. I refused to date an aspiring musician because I knew that I couldn't support him as a partner should; the guy sef has still not blown, despite releasing a video. I just jejely refused to date him , he has even given up on the music thing and is pursuing other things now.
You have to be honest with yourself; do you see any prospects?
Have a conversation with him, call him and tell him you are tired of waiting, give him an ultimatum to do the needful or you'll walk and you must mean it and stick to it. IF HE IS ANYWHERE CLOSE TO 30, HE SHOULD FORGET THAT FOOTBALL CAREER.
sometimes, it isn't love that keeps us where we shouldn't be, it is the fact that we have become so used to our partner, the fear of the unknown and the seemingly wasted years.
You might need to start considering moving on, cuz I believe you don enter one chance, as your own no gree work do business or side hustle while waiting for football.
A 100 likes for this comment!!
DeletePoster he who has ears....
Thumbs up
DeleteThe lifespan of a footballer's career is very short, hence the need to start early cos it's an extreem sports. How old is your boo? This dream may never become reality.
ReplyDeleteUnless he's 18, move on. Meanwhile, get something doing for yourself. When you dump him, don't let his tears guilt you into coming back.
ReplyDeleteI bet you want to wait till reality hit you? 7years and still counting it's better you decide fast .Nobody will help you take the leap except you,suffice to say the ball is in your court .
ReplyDeleteHe must have entered his 30s already. I hope he has a degree. You need to be the one looking for a job for him or you leave him.
ReplyDeleteHave you watched Tyler Perry movie "Acrimony"... Goan watch it 😀
ReplyDeleteYour chronicle reminds me of the movie!
Are you leaving him because he yet to hit it big? Was that why you said yes you'll date him hoping he'll hit it big one day? Whatever your decision is, let it be a peaceful one!
But why date for that long? I no fit try am.
Siater waiter continue to wait,may it end in praise but if it doesn't end like that,accept your faith...bye
ReplyDeleteI can detect from the tone of this post that both of you are well into your twenties. That guy is not going to be a football star. If he won't get a job let him go before he ruins your life with unplanned pregnancy and next thing you know , you are hustling to feed him and his child. Train father train son. Baby girl, wake up!
ReplyDeleteDump him and move on, maybe he will finally get his act together. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about the "taking care of yourself" comment. In relationships there's give and take, if you've bern giving, it's normal to expect to be given in return and it's ok to get tired when your reasonable expectations aren't met.
ReplyDeleteY are these upcoming footballer guys same. I was in the same situation as you,I left him fast..and I'm so happy I did.Advise them to do other jobs aside soccer,they won't. They will be telling you that they will loose focus. U shd follow ur heart tho
ReplyDeleteAcrimony
ReplyDeleteNigerian version of Acrimony.
ReplyDeletePlease leave oh.My big cousin wasted his life. In his 40s now .no means of income where he was waiting fir football breakthrough.he refused to go to skul .see his life noe miserable.Aunty mi just leave him
ReplyDelete