Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Thursday, May 09, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmm...na wah!!!!









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED URGENTLY

Good day.

Please, I need advice because I feel like ending it.

My husband deceived me that we should stay in the family house for just 3 months after our wedding, after which we'll pack out. It's been four years now and we are still living there, he said till we finish building our house before we pack out, and we don't even have a plot of land yet.

I'm tired, I'm now like the house help, I work from morning till night. Any day I come home late, it's serious issue. I look so unkempt, I lost
the teaching job I was managing due to late coming.


 My husband treats his other brothers wives like queens, while they all treat me like a piece of rag, including my hubby, FIL, MIL and all their relatives. I'm made to cook special food for the other wives when ever they come visiting.

I'm fed up, If not for my little baby, I would have ended it all. My parents said I should endure, am I to endure till I go insane?

I'm pregnant with my second baby and hubby said I should forget about looking for work till I birth and nurse all his children. And no allowance from him, except he buys for his son, nieces and nephews.

I'm a graduate for God's sake, I served before I got married at 24.

I'm just tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired.





*Hmmm you are in a very tight one........How can everybody be against you?maybe you are a little too sensitive cos of your present state?Maybe you are imagining things?When you say ''end it all' in this case,do you mean to walk away from the marriage?I ask because f at this stage and with your kid and another on the way,you are contemplating suicide then you are a very selfish woman!!!
I dont even know what to advice you cos it looks like you against the World

147 comments:

  1. women, be financially empowered before you venturwe into marriage. Talking from experience, I am going through hell....... a shadow of myself 'cos of dependent on hubby and fake promises before marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster you need to stand up for yourself
      Stop letting them treat you like dirt, stop trying hard to impress them.
      At this rate from your write up, you may go insane and do something terrible.

      Your own family is not helping matters else i would have said you should visit them for like 2 weeks and rest.

      Anyway, just stand up for yourself and stop killing yourself with work in the name of being a good wife.

      Delete
    2. Stella,I don't agree with you. She might be the youngest wife. I know a pretty girl that this happened to. She almost became ugly cos of the stress. Let her go to her parents house to have her baby so that her in laws can remember how to do house chores in her absence. Postercaused it by being too nice during her first months in the house. The only solution is to disappear for a while... long while. Give hubby ultimatum to rent her a house or else she will age b4 her time

      Delete
    3. Awwww, Pele, be strong 🤗. Please understand that your in-law's treatment of you is a reflection of your husband's treatment of you in their presence. If a man does not respect his wife, it will be hard for his friends and family to respect her... I wish you had sent this chronicle before you got pregnant again. What you need now is a good job. Something that can take care of you and your kids. If Oga sees that you now have earning power, trust me, even his treatment of you will change. He sounds very selfish, manipulative and controlling. Sorry to say this but you didn't marry a good man. After you have your baby, please watch out for job posts on this blog. Update your resume and wait. You could even contact blog visitor Chikito for career advice and she might have openings too.

      Delete
    4. I wish you were putting all these work in developing yourself and your kids. This is a serious mess up and things will keep getting worse. I can't even take shit from my parents talk of the ones I can't even reply their opinions.
      One doctor I know did it to one wealthy man's daughter, he was working in Lagos before he married her as per Lagos doc, immediately after the wedding, fiam he moved them to Enugu and after 3 month eeeehhhh let's just move to my village in Ngwa to stay few days till we get a house where we will stay few months so I can do a short course in one hospital in Aba, then we will be back to Lagos .
      My fellow bvs Dat was how she ended up there stuck in this thick village for 8years.
      8years of slavery and agony.
      Initially, she was isolating herself as per, we will leave here soon. For where. The guy finished his posting, got a job and even refused to get a house in Aba. She will be serving the ones that came back from the city. She was being treated as a house girl.
      We went for burial there once and they said she followed the village women to go and cut grass in the parish priests house, they even said she now belongs to one of those village women meeting that goes to do circle dance and cause problems during burials. If she refuses, they will ask for fine. Hmnnn My eyez popped from the sockets when I saw her with one kain sponge hair and dirty slippers.
      This was a girl that was travelling to the US and London back in the days with her parents who are both top medical doctors. The car they got for her during the wedding, the stupid husband has taken it. Her kids could barely speak English.
      I called her aside and gave her a RHEMA "there is no future here, take the children and run. This is not the you that I know, all hope is not lost". She didn't say a word to me.
      I just heard that she took her kids to visit her parents for Easter and hasn't returned. Her parents got her a nursing job in one state hospital and her husband is now running upandown. They have asked him to rent a comfortable house, furnish it and then come for a round table talk.
      Please poster, look for that family member that will help accommodate you and the kids. You are a graduate and God will not disgrace you if you genuinely seek his face. But you must act in wisdom. The worst thing that will happen is leaving there and forced back there. It will become abyss.

      Delete
    5. This is exactly how all these chauvinistic and manipulative Nigerian men like to enslave their wives and keep her silent.

      If you haven't been married in a typical Nigerian setting, you will kit understand where this lady is coming from. She is living in hell fire on earth believe me.
      I can't even tolerate my MIL visiting and pokenosing in everything for 2weeks. She will interference on how I train my kids, she will change the position of my center table etc. The bad habits the kids will learn when she is there, will take me 3 months to correct. That thing you don't want the kids to do, they will purposely encourage it and have people tell you she has trained 8 kids.
      My dear, better look for ways to get a job o. How dare him tell you not to get a job? This suffering is not ending anytime soon and if you die, they will find another wife for him by December. Your kids will continue full time slavery in the house of your co-wives. I just don't know why Nigerian men don't just have common sense, how do you sell your family respect all because you don't want to pay house rent.
      I don't want to hear his income, rubbish. It is better to stay in one room, artisans are all over the place and providing for their family. Let me not even vet more than this. Woman!!! Pick your self together and start doing mental work, you have to get a job, get money, no matter how small, it will give a say and from there you will hopefully take your life back.
      I wonder if your mum will come for omugwo in your in-laws family house. CLASH OF THE TITANS IF YOU HAVE MY KINDA MOMMA.

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    6. How can she die and still be a co-wive?

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    7. A lot of Nigerian men don't have common sense

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    8. Is the life mom wishes for me 🤦

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    9. I know being in Nigeria doesnt make things easy- Where marriage is seen as a do or die by some but like Esther in the bible said "i Perish i perish" Talk to your hubby and insist on monthly allowance if he refuses look for somewhere to move to. I know you are pregnant but if you can please try and get angry in your spirit. Take the bull by the horn at least for those kids

      Delete
    10. True. I also support anon 16.37 and in addition note that anything you can't get your man to do before the wedding usually remain unachievable. Don't be in a hurry to marry and enter family house.... It doesn't always end well

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    11. I don't know how old you are but I will advice you get more patient. I remembered my sister passing through same..but now the husband truly has built a mansion for them. Here children are all grown and she is enjoying them. Wiping may pass for a night..patient except you want divorce. He will marry another woman

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    12. this was my story years ago, was living with hubby in d family house but i wasnt anybody's doormat i was still tired of it all, i had my space i dont even involve myself with their family ish, even hubby just stays in we were like tenants sef, i give my inlaws food WHEN i can, wasnt subjected to any form of slavery but boy we still had to move to maintain my sanity

      Delete
  2. Take control of YOUR life!!!

    You aren't a tool!

    I'm just angry.

    Jeez

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In fact my own anger just tripled. Cos i typed a long advise for poster only for the page to refresh before i posted it.

      Delete
    2. Let me see if ivcan summarize it.

      Delete
    3. You are not working so can't ove out now. God did not send you to this world o do house girl for anybody o have it at the back of your mind that you must leave even if your hubby wants to remain there . birth your child then go on family planning. After he stops breast feeding aggressively look for a good job..not teaching. Cos you need to be able to oay house rent and sch fees cos no be husband you marry.

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    4. Manage that advise. I Cant' type again. Puffin messing me up.

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    5. As in. I'm boiling with anger here. What a sad story!

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    6. I am angry too but I pity her. It is well

      Cherry Blossom

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    7. I'm boiling with you. We all pray to move out of our parents house someday to be our own bosses lol. This is like still living with your parents oo, except these ones don't even regard you as a human being.

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    8. Oh why would a woman marry a man she cnt stand up to.when i got married got to a point we became jobless,my hubbys parents we taking care of us.when our rent got due we were told to move to the family house with my twin kids, i told my husband lialia it can not happen,i cnt go backward instead of forward. then before my kids were one i took in just told him pls i will go home to have my baby to get more care and that has been it. Now his begging me to come back with the kids,everyone is begging and am giving my rules and things that should be done before i can go back if not i will never go back.what am i looking for again within 2 years of marriage i have 3kids,its just for me to get a job and take care of my self and the kids. Pls marry a man that you can have a say with.

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    9. I vex pass you. If it's me I won't allow him have sex with me talk more of getting pregnant.

      Madam please move back to your parents house. Threayen them they will allow you to move in. You will be able to do little jobs there to sustain yourself and your kids. If he's ready for marriage he should come and move you to his own rented/built apartment. Useless man

      Delete
    10. Darling Poster, move out of that house today. Move out today!!! Go back to your parents, this is not asking for their permission, you will state categorically that you are moving in with them.
      Enjoy peace in your parent's house while you start picking up the pieces. He will come running to you. Then state your terms, if not met, carry on with your life. Do not leave your children with him, take them along to your parent's house

      Delete
  3. Stay there and endure!You have been there for 4year,and I put it to you that you cant end anything You open toto carry another belle? You are not tired babe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just pity her. Another baby join the unpalatable situation she is living in.


      Poster insist on getting a job no matter how little.

      Delete
    2. Haba,be kind with your words please? 🙏🏽

      Delete
    3. Pregnant and still being treated as a slave.. That's crazy..

      The way the MIL will be treating the lady ehn..

      Na because say she no get money for hand na, if too say she get money now, get job wey dem dey pay am like 300k per week, shey she go dey enter kitchen dey do anyhow

      Delete
    4. Please be kind with your words. This is someone that came here for help. You have no idea what state of mind she’s in. She’s helpless and you can tell from her write up. Poster you need to stand up for yourself. It will be hard and they will try and frustrate you but you need to stand up for yourself. If you have a close friend, move there for a while if you have to. Your parents sound primitive so let’s leave them out of this.

      All the same. God is your strength and you will get through this. I don’t know you but I love you and God loves you and you will rise above this.

      Delete
    5. This story is making me think of what my fiance is planning on doing. Which will NEVER work for me.
      He just moved back to Nigeria from Europe and is currently living with his parent. Has refused to get his own place as his parents house is very near his office and he also uses their BQ for his side hustle.
      I work and have my own very comfortable place very near my office.
      He has used style to say it so many times that when we marry next year, i will move in there with him,he can't waste money paying rent. The house is verybig and it's just him and his aged mother. And he also needs to stay with her because her health is not good.
      Why spend millions paying rent blah blah. He will rather save the money and build later.
      I'm just laughing because he must be joking. I will NEVER live with any inlaw,no matter how nice they are.
      I plan to keep my apartment even till after our wedding. If it's getting towards the time and he doesn't get a place. I will just remain in my apartment. He will do him like film trick.
      Anytime I bring up the issue that I can't live in their family house no matter how big it is. He gets angry.
      Na to remain at my one bedroom apartment even after marriage o because it is even near my office. I will be a weekend wife and be visiting him weekend.

      Delete
    6. Anon 17:15, don’t start what you can’t finish. You both need to agree on one clear path which is either he rents his own place close to his mum since he wants to be near her or you live with her. This your futuristic plan is a recipe for disaster and the society would blame you more for it.

      Whether you become a weekend wife or holiday wife you’d still have to live with his mum/family more than you’d want. Just make up your mind now it it’s something you’d like to do because you can’t say “I didn’t know” after marriage.

      Delete
    7. Anon 17:15.. it’s better you don’t marry that your fiance if you know you don’t have plans of moving in with him o! Because men can be funny, they will change it for you

      Delete
    8. Anonymous @ 17:15 is your husband the only son and child. Will the house become his if the aged mum dies. If he is the only child why dont you move in with him instead of renting another house. Let him employ a live in minder/assistant nurse/care giver that will take care of his aged mum. I think that is your concern. Obviously you want have the time to care for her.

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    9. Anon 17:15 it's better you don't marry the guy if you can't agree with his plans. His mum is aged and ideally, it's better he is close to her

      There is no reason why anyone should go into marriage with this your kind of plan.

      Delete
    10. I'm anon 17.15, yes he's the only son but has a younger sister that is married and doesn't live here ,they are only two.
      The woman is quite difficult to live with. Even house maids don't last there, they always go. Though there is one presently there now. But he still helps in caring for her as her health isn't so good.
      He says even when we build our house she will still live with him. I'm of the opinion if I fight him enough and let him see my side he may change his mind.
      Our wedding is still end of next year so I'm trying my best to let him know all that can't work for me.
      If you want a peaceful marriage living with mother inlaw cannot just work for me.
      It is his mother so he understands her. Though I have a good relationship with her,but we have our issues from time to time. I have spent few days with her before but nothing more than 2/3 days max.

      Delete
  4. So sorry Dear.... everything will be ok kn the end. I think you're the one that started this, they now treat you like house help because you wanted to do goodie goodie. You better start putting your foot down, you didn't come there to be a slave, start with your husband, let him understand that you can no longer take this. He doesn't want you to work yet no allowance....huh. Dust your papers and start looking for a job too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Imagine, telling her no allowance.. That she should remove from child's support or whatever..

      Tueehhh.. The way today news has spoilt my mood ehn

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    2. You cannot fight them in their house. Use your pregnancy as an excuse and be forming fainting and sick sick so that they will allow you relocate to your parents house. Once you get there, start looking for a job. I am sure you will get, once you have the baby, continue staying there cos you mum cannot come and stay with you in that house. By the time you are ready, you will tell them you already have a business you are doing or job Bla Bla Bla. Do not, I repeat do not go back there.

      Delete
  5. It is really a pity what some women endure to be married.
    If you "end it", that's two lives gone at least.
    The baby you had will be the new maid in the house.
    I perceive this marriage did not have any courtship.
    Can your husband afford to move into a new house, what's his level of income?
    If not, then be patient.
    Did you agree to "not working till you have all his kids?"
    You see why I perceive there was no courtship?
    It is time to be pragmatic and face the reality.
    If you can work while pregnant, let him know

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    Replies
    1. They will Mary a new wife the guy sharp sharp. Ndi uchu.

      Delete
  6. Stella, she's not being selfish. Its depression talking and I can imagine what she's going through. Madam, I'm sorry everything didn't work out the way you hoped, your husband is selfish and wicked. At this point, I can only advise you to look for a place to stay for a while. Maybe a friend or a sibling, you can take your kid with you. Stay there, clear your head. Then go back if you feel like it. All the best

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stella, She is not imagining things or being sensitive, staying in a family house is no joke and no woman should have to endure that so young and early in marriage cos there is no way she won’t work her butts off.

      See poster, you are pregnant so you have a valid excuse, sleep and claim you are sick for as long as possible. If they disturb you too much tell them you are going to visit ur parent and stay with them for weeks, if your husband wants you back then the he should go rent a place.
      Don’t fall for his tricks again, as soon as you have that baby get family planning and start applying for jobs.

      Delete
  7. Na wa... O, take a break and rest before you die in the name of marriage. Go home, when he's gets a house you join him

    ReplyDelete
  8. I wonder why people will get married and still occupy space in their family house. Like seriously? No privacy, no freedom. Just like you're trapped. Poster this your marriage was build on faulty foundation of lies. Keep praying bcos as it is now you've got no other choice.

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  9. This is so heartbreaking to read. I understand what you’re going through especially when your husband treats the other wives as queens while taking you for granted. It’s rather unfortunate that your parents are only asking you to endure. I wish I could tell you to keep looking for a job out of state and leave when you get it but the fact that your little ones are there makes it dicey because you might not be able to endure it should things fall apart and the family take your kids away. You need to find a way to let your husband know how you feel, even if it means going crazy on him one time to reset his head.

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  10. Wow see how he trapped you and to be honest that’s how men like your hubby behave when they believe it’s “cheaper” to live in family house rather than rent. He might never build a house and that’s because he probably doesn’t save from whatever he makes. He is so comfortable living in someone else’s shadow, he has no reason to rush. You married a pompous and selfish man, he married you for procreation sake and seeing how young you were at the time of marriage it worked in his favour.

    Truth is, he probably would never move out and that’s because he is not the only family man raising his family in his family compound. Also, I always find it funny when women who obviously are not happy in their home get pregnant. As in, how are laying with someone you obviously aren’t happy with and getting pregnant? Don’t get me wrong o but you waited too long to be bothered and he used your naivety to trap you. He would never let you work because after the birth of your second child, he’d score another goal and the cycle would continue unless you decide to take control of your life. Go to the hospital and close the place if possible without his knowledge (I’m sorry but women need to be selfish once in a while).

    Tell him you need a job so you don’t have to always depend on him don’t make it sound like he isn’t providing enough. He is trying to get you to depend solely on him for shelter and everything else you need for sustenance. You won’t have friends or meet people that would show you how to deal with him. This is a form of abuse. Your parents are African love, hardly would you find parents advising you not to be patient and add that they also went through same but your story doesn’t have to be that way. Do what you can around the house and leave the rest, also learn to speak for yourself if your husband or no one else would do it for you.

    Lock shop after this birth Nne, you have entered the marriage and even if we tell you leave you won’t and where would you even leave for with nothing or supporting parents.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously how do you lay with someone you aren't happy with. Na wa

      Delete
    2. My thought exactly. How do you have sex with one who treats you this way.

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    3. Swaggy me self follow wonder o! How do you have sex with someone you aren't happy with?
      This is me and my husband. Almost one year now, no sex. The man is acting so irresponsibly that I can't even stand him. He has reported me to all family and friends. This man was slandering me to everybody and I was keeping quiet cos I didn't want to expose him. Now when I open my mouth everyone is shocked at the irresponsible and immature behavior of this so called husband of mine.
      All these selfish men that just want to be called husband and daddy without wanting the responsibilities that come with the title.

      Delete
    4. Very well my sister, my husband calls me useless,waste of space,a disgrace,infact the first word that comes out of his mouth some mornings is curse. But guess what? I fucked him well well well dis evening,bcos I was horny. We all have blood flowing through our vain. So in essence female konji in marriage will lead to women taking alot of shit. Except you don't like sex,then you are a lucky woman. But if you are a woman who's hormones speak for them during ovulation you will fuck that yeye husband very well.

      Delete
    5. It’s one thing to fuck, it’s another to get pregnant...

      Delete
    6. Y, you need a Z in your life and the answer could be 1. Love yourself, you are all you’ve got
      2. Love yourself, you’re enough
      3. How much is vibrator?
      4. Is marriage a do or die affair? You think no one would want you if you leave? Emotional and verbal abuse is same as physical abuse. Emancipate yourself from the shackles of sex.

      I seriously hope your story isn’t real because I feel sad for you. People like Genevieve look younger not ONLY because they have money but you see men problems can age you 50years more if you allow it.

      Delete
  11. I learnt not to accept things I wouldn't cope with later in life (direct translation from yoruba). You shouldn't have agreed to stay with your in-laws. That's see finish na. Now you can't leave except you have a BIG reason to.

    I guess you should talk to your husband and get a job. Having your own money brings respect. Go to your parents if you can't take it anymore . Your sanity is important.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hmmmm I understand you and more reason why I do say it that whatever it is you cannot cope with in marriage, dont manage.. voice out and let changes be made.

    Heaven knows I cannot cope with staying in family house. I'd rather go rent a place or better still go back to my father's house.

    Madam, with everything on ground, you went ahead to get pregnant , if you can't beat them, join them cos there's nothing you can do at this point. You are pregnant so manage .

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm presently in a similar situation now just that I'm working,
    I saved money to buy land and I'm currently building a 2 bedroom flat, once it is roofed and windows and doors fixed, I'll leave with my children. hubby doesn't know of any of my moves and I'm presenting playing the fool so that he won't suspect anything.
    family house is a scam, please singles, never settle for family house I beg you, it's not healthy.
    I can't wait to pack out and have my sanity.
    I'll advice the poster to develop thick skin and gain her respect back, since you don't have the money to leave the marriage.
    suicide is out of it please.

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    Replies
    1. I respect you MA.

      Delete
    2. You took this from my mouth:''As in, how are laying with someone you obviously aren’t happy with and getting pregnant''.I cant even deal.

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    3. This is my kind of woman. Dem born smartness born you. All of you marrying with nothing you better learn from this babe.🥰🥰🥰

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    4. you are my type of woman, not does that will be scared to even buy another pot in the house. Mehn no time for rubbish

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    5. You have said it all. Family house is the biggest scam in history!

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    6. Family house my foot

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    7. Madam, you are the real MVP. Generations to come will bless you for this

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    8. My ex wanted to try the family house thing with me, I rannnnnnnn!! He said I was impatient. The real truth is, he's waiting for his parents to die so that he can inherit the house or probably inherit the room y'all live in.

      This is the reason some of us are really being patient before sentencing ourselves into marriage. I'll pick my father's house over & over again, against family house.


      God forbid bad thing!!

      Delete
    9. Well done ma. God will help you complete the house in no time. No time for rubbish.

      Delete
  14. So you are tired and you decided to get pregnant for baby number 2. Pele ti e

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  15. This poster is hurting, she's feeling unappreciated and unloved.

    I don't think she's being sensitive, this has been going on for 4 years!

    That environment is ruthless on her and she needs a breather. Maybe, you should go stay at your parents for some time. Keep yo head up, sis.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm with you on this. She's overwhelmed by the whole situation and just needs some space and someone to talk to. All those blaming her for the second pregnancy don't know jack...life happens! What she needs now is a breather,birth her second child and something purposeful that will give her a direction in life. Dear poster, take it easy ehen? You'll be fine. Its never too late to start all over. Take ownership of your life. Learn to say no,be firm but gentle. You've been a doormat long enough. This too shall pass.

      Delete
    2. He might have even raped her sef or she might even be suffering domestic violence in his hands. I wish she can just be accepted back by her patents so that she can sort herself out mentally and emotionally. Poster please do all you can to get your life back on track. Your husband is a very wicked man and doesn't wish you well.

      Delete
  16. Poster have you tried to make your husband see reasons with you? Tried to make him understand how unhappy you are in the marriage? Because from your write-up, you're gradually loosing it.
    Please wake up tomorrow morning and decide to take your life back!
    Without fighting or bickering, just wake up and sit down. Better still, lie down and refuse to get out of bed. No matter what anyone says, don't move an inch!
    I believe that seeing it's something that has never happened before, everyone would want to know what the problem is, then you'll have your opportunity to express yourself and let's see what comes out of it.
    Good luck...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This kind of men dont want to see anything oh,when it come free with some free food. My hubby mum can give him what ever he want so he refused working and she controls him not me because she cnt call me to tell me what to do, she tells him and i wnt let him force me into doing anything.when am not parentless. Going back to family house is the worse you can ever accept. Maybe d lady agreed because of the marriage.

      Delete
  17. SEE IF YOU CAN BARE IT ANYMORE, JUST TAKE A WALK VERY VERY FAR..

    SEEMS YOUR PARENTS AINT EVEN HELPING.

    SO SAD DEAR.. SO SAD, VERY SAD..

    Women please always find something doing before venturing into marriage, try try try try as much as possible.

    DonT enter marriage empty handed.

    We know men can be deceptive, cunny and manipulative when it comes to getting married and all that..
    But inspiite of all these lies, try as much as possible to find something to do..

    Oga ooo..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But she was working before now, she lost the job due to her getting late to work. Im sure they were giving her long list of chores to do before leaving the house in the morning. She needs to leave that house asap!

      Delete
  18. Sometimes it isn't advisable to conclude on a one sided narrative, but I will ask you this minute. Madam are there things you are doing that makes them treat you such way? Again, I think maybe you started first trying to be too nice and all that, that made them treat you such a way. If you were the no nonsense type, I don't think they will treat you such way or even have the guts to even tell you to do some kind of things.

    Secondly, I will advice all those reading this now. Whatever you won't take on the long run, do not settle for it at first as an option. If you had stood your ground at the very beginning, maybe he would have gotten an apartment than staying in his parents house. This is so tough mostly when the whole family have turned against you.

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    Replies
    1. Hmn, over familiarity brings contempt. No matter what she does or she is doing, so far she is living under their roof and they are feeding her, they can never regard her as something, especially when the husband is a puppet like hers. No be mouth, while dating my hubby, I encouraged him to get his own apartment that I can't be coming to his parents' house to see him and he concurred. Anytime I go to pay his parents visit, they worship me, commanding his elder brothers wife staying with them to do this do that for me. Ladies, when he is saying I will do this so so so time, don't be foooooooooooooled.

      Delete
    2. Staying in the family house with in-laws is a recipe for disaster. It hardly ever turn out well..

      Delete
    3. She was only a child and also had nothing to her name. Getting married is good but rushing in without a good plan or a plan B is not always advisable.
      Poster go home to your parents. They won't chase you out with cudgels if you insist on staying. Go home for a while.

      Delete
    4. There is nothing to hear from any person. Hello Mr man, is your family still leaving in your parents house? This is a No no no .even the Bible said that that separation must happen. THEREFORE SHALL A MAN LEAVE HIS MOTHER AND FATHER AND BECOME ONE WITH HIS WIFE, AND THE SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.

      Delete
  19. Stella, is she imagining the housework too? This is the reason you shouldn't start what you can't finish with the in-laws. Gradually, you need to get yourself back and learn to say NO! It's your husband I blame in all this. He is in his parents house and used to that terrain unlike you. I lived with the in-laws for a year and half so I know partially what you are going through. I was a bit lucky though, we had our own apartment within the same compound and MIL and FIL were usually out of town. Whenever they returned, MIL expected that I'll be the one to cook and clean for her. I cooked for a while and saw that it was turning into slavery. Mehn, I did the moonwalk and she complained to my husband many times but he ignored her complaints and that was the end of it. Madam, get yourself back. It won't be easy but you have to. Just be wise about it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. You made a huge mistake by allowing yourself get pregnant when you were already neck-deep in family issues. You can't be respected because you live with them. If you're tired..then wait till you put to bed so you can dust your Cert. and get something doing. Your husband can only tell you otherwise when he starts taking care of you as his wife and can also place you on a monthly stipend with the mind agreement to open a business for you. Another reason why your husband may be taking his family's side could be because he doesn't want to loose the free accommodation he's enjoying... Just try and live your life...don't endure anything...birth your child and pick up your life where you left off...else they'll slowly snuff the life off you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Guys take it easy with her,never ever marry and move into man's family house. My elder sister collected money for rent from her hubby before they signed the doted line. She rented an furnished the apartment before marriage.poster you have made a huge mistake but having more children is not the way forward. why not move to your parents or a friend's house for now to clear you head atleaat have some time to yourself to think and make secidecis properly.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Poster have they tied you there? Some of you, your husbands treat you the way they do because they know you won't leave. At least leave and let him beg you before you return and be ready to to move on if he doesn't.

    ReplyDelete
  23. how can u get pregnant again in this situation. i child is enuf until situation improves. You are not yet tired o. now that u are a full housewife more will be expected from u . how can a man that did not own a plot of land convince u that u will move out in 3 months and u believe him . okay continue and don't find u level sharply. just continue o

    ReplyDelete
  24. After this belle, carry yourself to the clinic and do family planning. Just get the right one for your body. You don't have to inform anyone about it. When things are stable, you will go back and have them remove it (if it's an implant)

    ReplyDelete
  25. U sound so tired i can literally feel it. In as much as i respect the union of marriage itself, i don't think u should remain for now. U are ovbiously losing ur sanity. I pray u find peace cos I know one thing: Family house can take its toll.

    ReplyDelete
  26. My dear,take an holiday to your parents house for 2weeks and refresh yourself. You are in trap living in your in-law house.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Seems ur hubby is the problem,Pls call ur him & explain to him why u can't be at everyone's beck and core,you're an entity on ur own,its not too late, wait till after ur delivery and you've gotten ur body and strength back and resume work
    I don't know ur story o,but when u marry,don't pretend to be overly nice,be yourself from the start bcos when u want to be yourself at the long run,you're tagged a bad person or changed,don't start wat u can't finish..it's not too late to find yourself o

    Zinny

    ReplyDelete
  28. Woman we both know u are not going to end anything. You just want sympathy and i dont think u will get it here. we have seen and read ur type plenty times here. I feel your pain tho but it seems you need a very sound slap to help wake u up from ur stupid slumber. How do u even open toto for that kinda of a man? you still get mind carry belle ontop? stay in that useless marraige and die you here. mtcheeeeeeeeeew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Finny your level of stupidity is catastrophically through the roof. U think u are Savage abi? U this bitter pile of dog shit. Is that how you were raised to give advice?

      Some bitter stupid people have data to come online and spread their bad vibes

      Delete
  29. Pack out of that house now before you go insane,what can of marriage is this just to answer Mrs ,go to your parents house even when you are not welcome there, at time goes on they will accept you,go and birth your child in your parents house looks for a job,as for your horseband if he want you back tell him to look for accommodating out side his parents home.

    ReplyDelete
  30. He knows that once you get a job, they will need to find 2 maids to replace you. One will wash clothes and clean the house and the other one will be cooking and going for errands. And the maids will be paid. And I bet you still open your legs for him at night. All for for no allowance.
    You know, when my mother made it compulsory for all her daughters to get a job before marrying I thought that she was over her head and being dramatic.
    This night as you're reading this, prepare his favourite meal and tell him in a very pleasant, respectful manner that the work load is too much for you. Also, that you need to either get a job or learn a trade. And that you will be a better wife and mother if you lived in your own house. Even if it is room and parlour. Give him a week's ultimatum. By now, you should have a friend or relative's place you can crash. After a week and you don't get what you want, leave! Take a bag and say you're going somewhere and don't return until your needs are met.
    This is a decision that you will have to take alone. Your family and church members will tell you to endure. Nobody will be on your side, so you must be strong and stand your ground.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a good advice but do you think she has the nerves to take this advice? Poster this will save you from depression. Go away for a while. Some parents are shameless and heartless. How can you leave your daughter to suffer in a man's house when you have a home? Even if she insisted on getting married by fire by force, take her back when she comes running. Some of you are the reasons men threat your daughters any how.

      Delete
    2. It seems as if we have the same mother. I am the only girl of my mother, and till date, she tells me that I must never be unemployed or be in a state where I don't have an income.

      My mum reminds me repeatedly, that I should give birth to only the number of children I can take care of without my husband.

      She says, ask you self this question - peradventure the man is no more, can you take care of your children alone with the same standard of living as if the man is there. Answer truthfully and that should be a guide when determining the number of children you plan to have.

      Delete
    3. Sweet Aproko your mother is tge real feminist who will do all she can to stay afloat not minding any man....so this kinda parents still exists? Choi!!! Tell i don't know her ooo...but she gat my respect!!!

      Delete
    4. Sweet Aproko,that is the real koko. When I see women giving birth to millions, I ask myself 'how would this woman train this children, if this man is no more?'..No one wishes for death but it can come at anytime. My father's death taught me that.

      Thank God, me and my sister are graduates. She's working while I would soon be through with service. I told myself that I won't depend on any man. I would go to school and get a job before marrying o. I must be financially stable by God's grace, because that is what my Dad would have wanted. His girls must be educated and financially independent before getting married.He would always tell us 'marriage do dey run, you hear? If you go to school and be determined/disciplined, a good man would locate you, at the right time'. No man would use me and do sand paper after everything I've been through, just to get to where I am today,God willing.

      Delete
  31. I bet you were desperate to get married that why you are in this situation.
    You graduated at a very tender age but choose to be married instead of getting a job.
    Your hubby said he will get apartment after wedding and you agreed?
    Now he doesnt want you to work until you are done giving birth, this is what i call ''CORPORATE HOUSEMAID''.
    I believe your hubby stylishly employ you as a maid to his parent.
    All i know is you cannot enjoy yourself as long you leave in that house.

    And this is for you stella,How can you say she is the one with the problem. Dont tell that you've forgotten how IN-LAWS in Nigeria behaves.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Enter your comment...pls u need to communicate with ur hubby,tell him how u feel. mind u,i think u need family planning for birth control,dont have kids for a man day can take proper care of u ND ur kids.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Coming from a man & husband, I don't think the hubby has sence

      Delete
  33. After enjoying in your fathers house, you go n suffer for a man who's not even your 100th cousin...women learn to live life forward, not backward, if your parents didn't forcefully enslave you, you have no right to put yourself in a state of amamihengeme!

    ReplyDelete
  34. stand up for your self. people will continue to walk over u if u let them. be assertive. you can't move out now because of financial constraints but be very assertive
    stop doing the chores unless the ones u know u have to do, stop being a. doormat. hell will be let loose at first but stand ur ground. they will eventually let u be. u allowed them to treat you disrespectfully at first and only u can end it

    ReplyDelete
  35. I have a relative who was in a similar situation. Her saving grace was that she had a good and steady source of income. She took her destiny in her hands and rented an apartment on her own. Her husband had no choice but to to leave the family house to go join her.
    The solution to your problem is financial empowerment and it seems that financial empowerment would not come from your husband, his family or yours. Your options include:

    1. Seeking employment
    2. Using the skills you have to start a business
    3. Learning a skill
    4. Engaging in a trade

    Please take your destiny in your hands. Success is your best revenge against those treating you like a rag. However no matter what you do not lose your children.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Honestly I feel its the hand you gave them from the beginning that cause how they are treating you now. If you had stood your ground and tell them your likes and dislikes,things don't get this bad. Its good to have source of income before signing the dotted line no Mata how small. I remember when I got married newly Amebonawork told me that a financially able woman in marriage is a powerful woman and with time and peoples experience,I now understood what she meant and am grateful for that

    ReplyDelete
  37. Go to Mfm for PRAYERS he would pack out you must be yoruba

    ReplyDelete
  38. In life dont be extra nice or calm. A time we need to be that not so nice geh to people around us, if not you get used and trampled upon. I'll share my story with my family one of this days.

    Start with your husband. Don't do all the chores; you are pregnant for God's sake. The scope I used with hubby is tell him some scary stories of women who died in pregnancy or child birth. Its insensitive i know but resets his brain that i am not a slave. Dont cook always! I understand we love cooking for our families but give yourself a break......buy out or cook something VERY SIMPLE. in fact just free adult in the house that day😋.

    Don't interfere in matters wey no concern you. If you have nothing to do outside you entrance door - stay indoors! And make yourself scarce....very scarce!

    If you can't take it anymore 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ home to your loved ones. See if you die ehn, he will remarry and if you are unlucky the wife will mistreat your children, and they will not forgive You.

    Importantly, get a job. Even in pregnancy do something except it's high risk. Be busy. Leave the house early morning to somewhere. Get your own money for yourself oooo!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Can't you get a maid to assist ?

    Whether live in or one that comes daily

    Babe fake sickness that will make you unable to work then they will be forced to rely on a maid .

    The next thing to do afterwards is to start standing on your feet financially .

    God be with you .

    ReplyDelete
  40. This is exactly what my husband wanted to do to me when we newly got married but I gave it to him hot hot to even think that he wants me to give him my monthly salary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What did he want to do with your monthly salary?😂😂😂😂😂all these horsebands calling themselves husbands

      Delete
    2. Mine didn't ask for my salary but would stylishly borrow it all, while working me to the bone at home. Love faded fast, I sparked for him & locked the vault. Building up my savings now & ready to continue life with my child; without him, if need be. A good man will not try to drain you & enslave you. I now hangout with friends to catch fun & feel sane.

      Delete
  41. Mine I'm about marrying a guy into family house oh, mine is different cos two person to a duplex, MIL is staying in a different duplex and the other co-wives and nephew and nieces are all outside the country. so it just brother inlaws around. But ehhh sometimes fear of what i will see will just grip me. And im a very private person that don't enter someone house or love making friend to avoid problem

    And this people love parties, having meetings always and always. And to finish celebrating one wedding can take 2weeks and I'm a very indoor person. My HTB says i shouldn't worry that he will make things easier for me KIA if not that i love this guy i for bail.

    Mydear it all what you started, me from day 1 im really myself. I'm quiet but very very stubborn oh, cook for co-wives as in how while they do what? Sha me i show them I'm from a poor home but i act like ajebo i don't form but naturally how i am so they know hard jobs is not for me from day1

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  42. Poster are you afraid of your husband? I do not understand how you are passing through hell in that house (I won't call where you live a home) and you are still cooking for them and also managed to get pregnant again.
    By the way, stop cooking for any of them. Take a stand and say enough is enough.

    Please, if you are depressed, its time you take your double self with your child and go speak to your parents. Stay with them and pour it all out to them.
    Do not contemplate suicide, you see the way your husband family is treating you, they will do worse to your child if you decide to take the selfish route.

    Speak to your husband and threatened him. Some men are not worthy to be call men talk less of a husband.

    Living in a family house is a bad choice for married couples, except if it is an estate, then, everyone will be living in their separate building.

    Please, speak to your family and if you have a brother, speak to him too.

    I wish you strength and God protect your unborn baby.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Please don't forgive me for being harsh and 'unempathetic'; it's deliberate. See ehn Poster, you are not tired anything. When you are truly tired, your husband, in-laws and parents will know immediately. Your mumu never do samsam. Inukwa going late to work because you are running errands for your in-laws who don't give a hoot about you and you've been in this foolish circus of a marriage for four years and counting. Hian! Story for the gods.

    Na now wey you orgasm finish carry second belle you come dey tired so dat we go dey fret for SDK blog say you want to "end it" okwa ya? Meanwhile, you still dey the family house o. Imagine if you'd started frying puff-puff, yam and akara in front of the compound since four years; let me see how anyone who does not want to be unfortunate in life will have the liver to summon you to come and cook "special food" for women and fellow wives when bomb is not in their head. Your age is not an excuse o, you are just playing dumb.

    Find a way to collect some money from that your horrible z-list actor of a husband and move to your parents' house or start doing petty business in front of that family compound ASAP. If he objects, make trouble and tell him and everyone else you want substantial monthly allowance henceforth or he should leave you to hustle in peace. O ga bu ru ogbenye buru kwa amusu? Mba nu! Biko find someone to translate that one cos ayam not in the mood mbok.

    Small thing you people wee be shouting "I am a graduate!" as if a degree comes with common sense. It's better to be a wise industrious school cert holder than be a mumu graduate. Rewrite your story in this month of May and may God bless you beyond your dreams as you step out of obscurity. Woman, thou art loosed!!! Go and conquer. Oya, gbe body e!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too much sense @Amebonawork,
      Poster borrow some sense from her

      Delete
    2. You don vex oo, but I like am

      Delete
    3. God bless you for this. Poster shey u are hearing?

      Delete
    4. That adage is so apt! How can one person be broke and still be a terrible husband ? Why is it always the broke ones that are very problematic?

      Delete
  44. Take a few things of you and your kid and move to your parent's house, whether they are cool with it or not. Let your husband come there to look for you and take you back, then you will give him your condition which will be that he needs to get his own place before you all can live as a family under that roof. Stand your ground! Start looking for another job please.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Tell them you’re feeling somehow and you need to see your doctor. When you come home, say doctor says you need to rest. Docs say that to all pregnant women so it’s not a lie. Then proceed to rest real good for a while

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  46. Ehya this is heartbreaking. You need to speak up before you go insane. You need to stand up for yourself. Discus with your husband about the whole family turning you to house girl, tell him what you can take & what you can no longer accept. Don't his parents have other helps in the house like relatives or house girl? Let them share the work in the house, you cook when you feel up to it. If the other wives are coming around & they ask you to cook, you tell them no, when they come you all enter the kitchen to cook...
    See ehn man dies but once. If you stand up & reject this maltreatment the worst that can happen is for your husband to divorce you . If it happens you should count yourself free & lucky. You need to start living for yourself & your baby! Stop slaving for some wicked adults who think you are under their mercy bcos you are married to one idiot they call a son. As for the house issue, there might not be a solution to that as long as your husband is not willing to leave his parents house. You will have to let the matter rest. If your husband has good intention for you your complaint should have given him sense to relocate his family., but clearly he is a lazy man depending on his parents property & money.
    God forbid that I take this from anybody. When he divorces you life will go on, you start again & you will be glad in future to know you saved yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  47. That was how i met one scam of a guy when i first came to lagos 2016, one army man even told me, marriage so soon? i didn't understand then.

    The guy wanted to use scope and marry then everybody will be in his family house, hmm... I haven't even entered and his mother was showing me how to wash, wow! I was 29yrs then, served 2011/12, was learning a skill and trying to start my own business and someone is showing how to wash.

    Told him to go find a house if he's serious, he be like this one don't have enough packing space, this compound is not fine bla bla...

    That he is building where i don't know.. in my mind, i was like see thses ones oh! so because i'm new in lagos, they think i'm stupid ok na..

    After i finished chopping his money and opened my shop, no body told him to respect himself and find his level.
    I'm not a slave.

    Please ladies, don't be desperate, your own will come, don't let them decieve you and who says women can't make money? gone are the days women call only wrapper property oh, women are doing things now.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I dated my husband for 3 years. He was building his house. He had almost completed it. We got married in April last year. He told me his house will be ready by July.i saw the house. Remaining for him to put tiles. We got married o. During our time in my witch in law's house they tried to use me as house girl. My useless husband would wake me up with slaps at 4 am to go join his mom and fat ugly sister in the kitchen. We didn't go for honeymoon. My husband promised me honeymoon. I just kept quiet. His mom expected me to cook for her morning noon and night. My husband said I should wait and give birth before we move out.By the end of July I packed out of their bq. My parents were angry. They wanted to use me as house girl even when I got pregnant almost immediately. His witch of a mom said I should never step foot in her house. Good riddance. Why I agreed to stay in his mom bq was because his house was in an undeveloped area. But when I found out they wanted me to be the community house girl I ran away. My parents gladly let me back in. As for my husband his mom swore her son won't continue with the marriage. But he has been begging me to move back to the bq. I said God forbid. When he completes his house he will come get me. Till then my parents house it is. I forgot to mention that they told me to quit my job and join his mother in selling lace in the market. I said NO.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your last line got me screaming... Imagine!!!

      Thank God you are wise.

      Delete
    2. You can imagine, like she is your mother abi? very senseless talk

      Delete
  49. When you are tired of your situation,you will take your destiny into your hands!

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  50. By all means, get out of that place abeg

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  51. Such a deceptive husband. My dear take a break some place else

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  52. If I share my mothers experience with you about staying in family house walahi I no go finish today, my dad niece beat my mum to the extent that the issue still dey on ground till now something wey happened since 1993 may 3rd I can never forget and even cause a lot of issues poster na long story upon say my mama na nurse asvin she has a good job working in a teaching hospital.
    See ladies DON'T EVER RUSH INTO MARRIAGE. The way it seems during courtship is different from when you get marry everything no be about fuck fuck a lot of things surface after getting married but it all depends on you and how much your hubby cherished you. I was begged to get married at 30 cos I believe have never achieved much me I no feel take rubbish and i i love my freedom and peace of mind gan ni o so everything must be in place if not everything at CV least 70% cos I no want wahala. What Ivwill advice you now is first look for a way to be financially independent have this at the back of your mind that this thing you want to start my lead to eternal enemity because cases like this they will not like the fact that you want to loosen yourself from their boundage so be prepare for war both from the inlaws and your husband. With prayers I believe God will fight for you remain blessed

    ReplyDelete
  53. Women should learn to support one another, especially mothers and family members of wives, even rich men with maturity and money dont abuse their wives how much more broke men forming posh.

    As for the lady in question, talk to your dad and mum and tell tell them all you have narrated on this blog, and in the meantime learn to know, love and support yourself. If you can stand for yourself you will always be everyone's door mat.

    ReplyDelete
  54. You married at age 24 and see what life has become. Just tell God to bring you an opportunity to move out but what on earth is wrong with you. You’re suffering so much yet you had to get pregnant again well I wouldn’t blame you it’s obvious there was no money to even buy contraceptive. Marrying to stay with a family will definitely cause disrespect there’s no way on earth there will be any form of respect except you’re the one financing the family. See finish starts with familiarity which has already happened. We really don’t even know the advice to give. You made this road more tough by having a baby again. Meanwhile you need to tell God to help you out cus as it is suicide will only lead you to hell. Then I don’t know how your family are pls move out and go to them. You need to heal from this experience which has inflicted pain on your psychological state. The first step is move back to your parents as soon as possible lie to them that you were almost killed you had to run back. Please take your child along. Pls look for a road side business to start or to start sweeping cleaning and get paid for it. Sell tomato start from somewhere as time goes on you can now use the money to look good start looking for a job. Cus that man has finished you all you need to do now is to start from the scratch as if life is starting all over again. May God help you .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Contraceptive is free in government hospitals.

      Delete
  55. Chai, soem men and lies na 5&6. You tried o, no financial backup and you enter marriage at 24yrs? who was pursuing you? pls your parents shud stop telling you to endure abeg. its becos you are young that is why the others are treating you anyhow. Them no born anyone well to treat me like thrash.

    ReplyDelete
  56. It is well with you poster. My situation is a milder form of yours but still it is not easy especially for an introvert like me that likes her privacy.In my own case, my husband is very generous. Also, he does not allow his family to rubbish me. Our living arrangement was supposed to be temporary but this is almost 10 years now. What saved me is that i was myself from day 1 and they got used to it. Yes,i was called names behind my back but none had the courage to face me. One of my husbands nasty sisters who was giving me attitude has cooled down now that marriage has shown her pepper. My husband is not perfect. He is a typical African man with a big ego that believes a woman is nothing without a man. He also forbade me from working after making so many promises before marriage. But i lack nothing and i pray God touches his heart to allow me do something. I did not even know how to cook when i got married so they talked to themselves and sorted themselves out. They were so bitter that my husband made them cook for me because i had difficult pregnancies and could not answer the stress. Over the years, i have learnt how to do me. I cannot come and kill myself because no matter what you do it will not be enough. I sympathise with you on your parent's attitude. Such attitude is the reason for increase in domestic abuse today. All those saying move out should shut up. It is easier said than done without a support system. No woman will remain in an abusive marriage if she has a reliable place to go to. Sometimes it is like jumping from frying pan to fire. Time will not permit me to say what women that left their homes go through. Sometimes,your helpers will see you as a burden and even take advantage of you sexually. This is why good parents should shun society and support their daughters. Abeg i am tired of typing. All the best poster.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stand the stress

      Delete
    2. Your hubby "FORBADE" you to work? Like really?. No man can tell me not to work. My parent sent me to the university, struggled to pay my fees and one brother from somewhere will now come and try to dictate to me what to do and what not. I cant forbid you not to work so you can't forbid me too.I don't know how another human being would try to dictate to me how to run my life to suit his own life simply because I "MADE" him my husband. Hmm, so many married women in nigeria suffering and smiling. No wonder I didn't marry a Nigerian man. Most of them are so egoistic and chauvinistic.

      Delete
  57. With all what's been going on with you now you're pregnant again ? No one turn you to tag but yourself. Seems marriage was all you wanted and you got it.
    Bear it o, it's your cross.
    I don't know why you're complaining now that you open your legs to get pregnant after all the nonsense you claimed you have been going through

    ReplyDelete
  58. Poster this is not marriage. Marriage is sweet when you experience it with someone who truly deserves you.

    I won't say you were desperate or you were blinded by love and thats's why you accepted marrying him even though you knew you would be living with your in laws.
    What if you both had your own house and he got broke or fired from work and you had no option than to squat with his parent till he got his feet on ground?. You would still have found yourself in this dilemma, right?. Life is unpredictable. Still, may goodness always follow us all Amen.

    I see your parent told you to stay there. Well, it's because you are oblivious of your own strength.It's obvious you don't know you are the owner of your own life and destiny.

    I don't know why most women sit back and let a man or society mould their lives for them. The only thing you own in this life is your destiny, which lies in your hands.

    You don't even own your kids, nor your husband at the long run for they are their own persons. But you own you.

    Ma'am be relentlessly selfish.You've come to this world to make yourself happy and if your happiness does make others uncomfortable,be it your husband or society( as long as you not hurting anyone)so be it. Your happiness should be your husband happiness by the way. But no, you had a job but they had to frustrate your effort to the point where you got sacked.

    Listen!Your parent had already lived their own lives, so you better live yours and don't let anyone in this world;I repeat Anyone in this world tell you how to live your life.Live your life on your own term. You own it, its yours. Not your in laws nor your husband's nor your parent's. It's yours.
    Do you really feel suffocated in that house, do you really need a break? Do you want to leave that house for a while to get your sanity back? if yes? Whether your parent are in support or not.. Ma'am, it's none of your business.
    Go to their house with your two kids and a few bags. If they refuse you entrance, sleep outside the house. Don't go anywhere. Show everyone including your hubby a different side they have never seen before.

    Enough!it's high time you stop acting like a softie. This time around let them know you have reached your elastic limit. Whinning doesn't solve anything, for the situation still stays the same. Take action.Shake everyone up let them know you have had enough.

    I am riled up. Parent should stop letting their princesses stay in unfavourable situations.They need to start showing support.

    ReplyDelete
  59. I was in the posters position hubby built a house and moved his parents in while we were living in a rented apartment because I refused to move in with him at the end of the day, inlaws will always use you as house help...When hubby could not bear paying up the rent he moved in with his parents even when I refused...He said he will get me my own apartment then convinced me that his parents will be traveling to the US and will be staying for six months who will be staying in the house and besides my car needs to be changed rather than paying for the house rent,he will use the money to get me a bigger car, I fell for that which was my greatest mistake...My father in-law dictates what we eat...I was like a slave in that house, no respect from domestic staff,I started living in isolation...For three years the agony was so much ... Finally my mum inlaw died and several Events happened...Right now I was kicked out by my said in-laws and hubby cos according to them I didn't take care of their mother when she was alive....Please never leave with your inlaws it will only expose your weakness to them . Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  60. Poster, you are not loved, respected or valued. You are simply there as a rented womb and the free domestic help is jara.
    After you have this baby get an IUD to stop getting pregnant, next start creating time for yourself by feigning weakness and illness. Find your way back to your parents house or another safe refuge then start earning money. When you leave your husband will not beg you to return only threaten you because the man does not respect you much less love you.
    Stella your advice always makes you come across like a 50yr old aunty who has never left home.

    ReplyDelete

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