Stella Dimoko Letter To Nigerian Parents


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Sunday, May 05, 2019

Letter To Nigerian Parents

This is a must read if you have the time...........

Dear All- Let's be real.

I wish to start by adding the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the UK. Living in Abuja now. The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves – including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there – regardless of how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same – except status – conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on the Biography Channel. To my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class – even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this. There is no aircraft attached to the office of the Prime Minister in the UK. He travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.

These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton (the wife of Prince William) drives? VW Golf or something close to it. But there’s one core difference between them and us (generally speaking), they (even the billionaires among them) work for their money, most of us steal ours

If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let’s begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content and not having to “steal” which seems to be the norm these days.

We have Nigerian Children who have never worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying “only” first or business class and using the latest cars fully paid for by their “loving“ parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents” my son graduated 2 years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist!”

“Oh really! So where exactly is “THIS CHILD?” is my usual question. “Why are you the one making this call dad/mum?"

I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and i, chances are that the big boy is cruising around Abuja with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad’s sparkling new SUV with enough “pocket money” to put your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to hear a 28 year old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but “earns” a six figure “salary” from parents for doing absolutely nothing.

I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely no skill to sell apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad’s secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question- so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out – N250,000.00. I ask if that is per month or per annum.

“Of course, it is per month”

“Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job?”

“Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel any employer should be able to pay me more than my parents.”

No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birthright. Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa.

Wake up mum! Wake up dad! This syndrome – “my children will not suffer what I suffered" is destroying your tomorrow. You are practically loving your child to death.

I learnt the children of a former Nigeria Head of State with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several time because of the drug, they collapse in places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go. What a life! No one wants to marry them.

Henry Ford said “hard work does not kill.” We are getting everything wrong in Nigeria now, including family setting. It is time to prepare your children for tomorrow, the way the world is going, only those that are rugged, hard working and smart working that will survive. How will your ward fare?

Please forward this to all the parents you know and love. We must begin to save our young from unintended consequences of "too much love" and weak parenting. It is the only way out. Lets not leave everything to spirituality and say God will help us.
#copied from whatsapp.


  1. Replies
    1. I am impressed and will instill this lifestyle in my kids, so help me God

    2. I am compelled to respond because I am a small business owner in the US. Guess what I refuse to hire Nigerian kids most of the time. Every single one I have given an opportunity had one issue or the other. On the other hand, when I hire rich or poor oyinbo kids their work ethic is completely different. When I meet naija parents, they tell me whenever you need extra staff, call my child or hire Nigerian. This is what happens
      Before the day: will so and so be available on this date, I will need 2-3 extra people..
      Naija parent: Ehmm no, she needs to study, have this to do, have that to do.. maybe next time
      Oyinbo Parent: what time do you need her, we will organize her studying so she can be available when you need her. Oyinbo kid shows up and work hard.

      Following week, I run into the parent- oh sorry my kid was so busy but next time. next time arrives, same story... if they do show up, I have to deal with drama from the parents, terrible work ethic and poor life skills. I just gave up

      Then I hear on the streets “she doesn’t hire or help Nigerian kids, she knows there are limited opportunities for Nigerian kids” but what am I supposed to do.. for my own sanity I can’t carry people’s incompetencies on my shoulder

      As busy as I am I don’t have time to deal with kids that have been brought up to be class conscious, lazy and entitled. I have a business to run not a charity favor.

    3. Yes they have to work. When my princess was 13yrs old, she did a work experience in a charity shop. And then got a job during long summer holiday as a telephone operator. Now she is 15yrs, already secure herself an hospital job. But she is not paid the national minimum wage, she is paid £5.90 per hr. The younger sister is doing the same too.

    4. annon 15:08 very apt!

  2. Wowww nice write up. I live in the UK, so i can say what the writer said up there is very true. One thing people dont know about having a job and earning a wage is, working gives you sense of belonging.

  3. The question is, will this writer's school age kids do vacation jobs in Abuja where she resides?
    "they work for their monies, most of us steal ours..." that summarizes the
    article. If you the writer are given a ministerial post (or even contract) in Nigeria, will you be honest, will
    you not employ those from your families first?
    Will you fly economy class?
    If you become the VP, President or senate president, will you forgo that luxury aircraft and fly peace air?

    What I discovered is that the average Nigerian schooling abroad will follow in the correct footsteps, but once they step into Nigeria, they change to the "Naija default setting".

    1. I disagree. A child who was trained to appreciate work will not follow default setting. I have seen kids go abroad and come home with new energy and ideas. Those who default believe they are now too big for Naija and want to wait. If u saw those ones abroad, the attitude was the same. No ambition

    2. lies...he will do as he as explained. stop justifying nonsense. speak for yourself alone

  4. Well written but the need to pepper them and prove you are more wealthier than the others won't let us be.

  5. She forgot to add that even the very rich in developed countries ride bicycles sometimes.
    Will this writer ride bicycle in Abuja?
    Will she fail to show that she is
    "abroad bred?"

    1. Hahaha, in response to your first paragraph. i read somewhere that the very rich have now taken over the 🚆 from Abuja to kaduna and back. They are being humbled by the fear of being kidnapped along the road by the urchins they created and used as minions years Ago. For some funny reason, the African mentality takes over when money comes in. Humility and selflessness takes the back 💺.

      As for the working aspect, you can find hem in the oil and gas, Media, advertising and banking sectors. They barely have anything to offer ones’ business. Majority are loud and boisterous. Mention work, they fall sick but bring up movies and musicians, clear the center stage for them.

      Please do not get it wrong, I’m stating this facts for someone who is constantly in the same space with them, the lesser % of the staff are over burdened with more work in order to meet up with deadlines. Funny part, they still get promoted for doing NOTHING.

  6. Simple and straight to the point. So many young people in Nigeria have a false sense of entitlement, and this can be traced to their upbringing. As parents, let us endeavour to do better.

  7. Anything that goes up must come down.

  8. if only we parents will hear!!!

  9. This is very true. I work for the very rich and I have equally seen the ones that come around them.

    If you try to correct them in some things that they need to do, you are wasting your time.

    On the other hand, some are still trying their best. Some have emulated the independence of looking for vacation jobs for themselves when they get here. No matter how small it is whilst still collecting their pocket money from their folks.

    Two kids not of the same parents were travelling back to the UK and the other asked the other if she was flying business class. The other replied her that why should she fly business? And she said cos that’s what ‘She’ was on. The other one just replied her that it was good for her cos her parents put her on economy and she doesn’t mind. Maybe when she grows and starts making her own money she can afford to fly business.

  10. nice write up but everyone cant be same abd in life we all need someone no matter yoyr hardwork.all about your contacts and networks which aint bad..all we need is an environment that works and it is fair to us.anything less,sister,brother,if you see opportunity grab it.this is nigeria!

  11. 👍nothing but the truth. When I was a student, I always wished I could get jobs to do after classes. Like evening jobs. But nothing like that here. So I ventured into petty business to support what my parents could give. I will bring up my kids to have this mentality.

  12. Sometimes we Nigerians can talk out of both sides of our mouths. If you are humble and down to earth don't do pepper them, people will not respect you. They will even say upon all your father's money is this the job you are doing? Me I no dey send. When my parents tried to control me with money, I moved out of their house, used my mum's maiden name, got my self a job in a city where no one knew who I was. Yes money is great sometimes but I refuse to die in bondage. The control rich people exert over their kids is something else.

  13. This is a Rich write up that I'm too broke to understand

  14. Most of the fault is from we parents. We need to do better....a child must learn the dignity in labour by action not by mere words. How can you give 200k to a child as allowance when the average entry level job doesn't even pay 100k monthly. High end jobs such as Banks do not also pay up to 200k monthly so which job will that child do? We are the architect of our problems in Nigeria.

  15. Very straight minded,I wish we can all as a parent show them the right path is thru hard work. Teaching my daughter how to be a good entrepreneur already,my shop is small but she is always eager to make more profit than I do.

  16. Nigerians aren’t the only ones that fly the business and upperclass seats, have you met the Arabs?
    Some have private jets at their beck and call, Arabian domestic staff (driver, cook and cleaner) sourced from staffing agencies.
    Upper class Chinese nko? There’s this one I knew I swear i never saw her attend class she was always shuttling between bicester village and gunwharf quays. Leave matter for Mathias abeg

    1. The problem with we Nigerians is that we always want to find a way to justify evil.what is right is right.we have so many rich kids abroad and all they do is taking drugs because the money is always check the bank account of a child it's $50k .could remember sometime back I flew from turkey to Egypt and met this rich Fulani girl and we got talking then I was like I need to get a gift for someone then we entered one of the stores I saw a bag worth $2500 and was like this is too much she just said no it's not that I shouldn't calculate it in naira the eye I look am if only she know.then she said I should visit her in Abuja lets eat government money .how much will this lady be willing to take as salary if she sees $2500 as nothing when she is jobless.naija mentality now is all about money how it comes doesn't matter

    2. Until me and you stop celebrating criminals called politicians we will remain in this position.typing and ranting online will never help as they will only read and laugh.the only country where a man is jailed for corruption in a foreign land and upon release the whole village gathered to welcome him,both old and young .how will that country see us?what are we showing to the world ?what are we telling the young once?naija umm e go hard us sha but change is still possible


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