Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists -The Shocking Things Children Say

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Saturday, May 04, 2019

Saturday In House Gists -The Shocking Things Children Say

Children of these days are not like they should be......
I don't know about you but i think they know too much,say too much!!!







Have you really sat your kids down and asked them questions?If you haven't,please find time to do so and the things you will hear will definitely shock your pants off you.

i do this all the time and the things my kids tell me,if i had the shocks to say it when i was their age,I don't know where i will be now...Prolly without ears cos back then,my mum used to pull my ears a lot if i say anything that I am not supposed to say or even mention anything heavy...

Let me say the last one that happened with one of my Sons....

I normally play with his curly blond hair and a lot and sometimes if he has not had a haircut;I try to make his hair into cornrows and tell him he would have been such a beautiful girl. We have been doing this for years and never had a problem oh....Two weeks ago when i called him to do his hair as always,he put his hand forward to warn me.

''Mama please enough of trying to make me look like a girl,i cant take it anymore.I am a man now,if you need a girl,wait for papa to come home and try for one or go and adopt one but i am done with you making my hair so''..
I was not ready for the attack and he saw my mouth drop open and came forward to hug me saying ''Mama try to understand but this is the man in me speaking....If you cannot wait to have a girl then be patient and when i have my daughter you can play with her hair''...he kissed me and took off and i heard him say downstairs ''I needed to tell her the truth,you better say your mind before she buys us pink underpants next''.


My boys send me letters written with big English words anytime they think i am not happy with their behaviour.....I just got one last night with words that will make you remember the Dictionary....lol

Do you have a story to share concerning the thing kids say?step forward please!!!

103 comments:

  1. Let me read comments...my baby hasn't started to talk yet. Still at wen wen wen stage.

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    1. My son took a pen and paper to draw, he said he wants to draw mummy. After drawing it his little sister said"but Bobo you did not draw mummy's big tummy"we all started laughing.

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    2. My neigbour's son asked his mum why his mum's friend was selling eggs, the mum was suprised at the question. The young boy said he saw a picture of the woman as a corper, and he thought people work in the office after NYSC. His mum couldn't say anything. She had to explain to him

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    3. we went out as a family and my hubby was looking for a parking space when my 3year old daughter pointed one out, as my hubby parked in the spot the next thing she said was "good job daddy" like he was a driver she gave an instruction,we all started laughing.

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  2. I just remembered one funny comment a BV made sometime back about she bathing her little cousin Bro for the first time or so and while she was using the sponge on him,the little boy shouted "Aunty biko jiri nwayΓ³ na e na eshigbΓΊ m eshigbΓΊ"..

    @MARTINS ABOY

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    1. I honestly don’t know why that means but it made me laugh outπŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£

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    2. Uh? You say? Wetin you talku? That last line, translatiiiiii.

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    3. Hahaha🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣 òbùròkwa obere nshigbu ooo. Chaiiii this one dikwa very funny. Kids can shock u with their spontaneous talks.

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    4. I na eshigbum eshigbu...ikwakwakwa. That boy must be an Imo guy. Very funny.

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    5. Lmao 🀣🀣🀣

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    6. 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣 I really don't blame the poor boy, if he didn't shout probably Aunty would have changed his skin colour from dark to Bob's colour with sponge. No be small nshigbu o.

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    7. lol. ya, I was the person that made that comment.

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    8. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I’m just here imagining that coming out from the little boy’s mouth. Debbie well done oo...lol.

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    9. Choi πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. This kids eee...

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    10. My friend told me about his cousin. They were home and watching a movie and there was a kissing scene. The little boy of about 6 years said “Cheiiii.... These people Dey enjoy o.”
      I almost died from laughing.

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    11. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ ekwu ekwu mere only, before his skin will peel

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    12. lol. The funny thing is as of then, when you ask him his name he says "My name is UC nwa Aba"

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  3. I remember sometime ago I went to one shop to get some stuff.
    I met a little girl of about 5 years old playing with her brother.
    Her mum hit her cos she took what belonged to her brother.
    And then I heard the little girl say “shey you go come touch daddy preek”
    I was shocked. I looked at the shop owner she started laughing and said the little girl is like that o.

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    1. Huh? It's not a laughing matter ooo. That means the little girl knows when mummy is playing with daddy's prick? Hian

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    2. Ehhh. That's why parents need to be very discrete with their love plays,these children see everything o

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    3. Imagine the boldness.that woman is doing a bad job

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  4. OMG πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ Stella, your kids are smart and intelligent too. I also like the fact that they are also very confident, I believe they must have gotten more of that from you.

    I remember one morning while taking my son to school, I was trying to catch up with an appointment and I also my no nonsense teacher waiting for me to come to class with my assignment, I didn't want to be late. That was how I told my son to stop dragging his feet and the next thing I heard him say was, mummy stop running. I just started laughing πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ I apologized to him and tried to explain to him the reason I was walking faster than my legs could carry me and he said, mummy I know, you always walk fast except when you are on your heels πŸ‘  and I started laughing again.
    I am even laughing right now writing this.

    Kids are very smart and they see and notice everything. They know what they want too, our duty is to listen to them, talk to them more often.

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    1. Kikikikiki πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      Kids really say the darnedest things

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  5. My Lil girls surprise me as well. They are just four but nothing passes their notice.

    If I feel tired and weak, they notice it. "Mummy you are not happy today, are you sick?'" The next thing is they'll lay hands on me and tell me "Be healed in Jesus name"

    Sometimes we sew the same clothes for them but they always identify which one is whose.

    One Sunday morning, I wore the same dress for them. Both of them kept insisting it wasn't theirs. I was perplexed. The dress is the same material and style so I didn't indulge them in their tantrums that morning. They were almost crying when I reconsidered and asked them how they knew their own. Both of them replied. "The Zip"
    The first said my zip is letter 'B' and the second said hers is letter 'I'.

    I checked the zip and saw for myself they were right.

    I just exchanged the clothes and wore it for them.

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    1. LMAO🀣🀣🀣🀣
      Smart girls

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    2. They pay attention to details πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    3. So cute😁😁

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    4. Chaiii that's so smart of them.

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    5. Yeah, my twin girls do this too. I buy them the same stuff but they always find a way to identify it, I don't know how they do it. Their school bag is the same but they recognize which is which.

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  6. Hmm kids ehn indeed they say and know things that will leave your mouth hanging

    I heard of a little girl who had someone staying and taking care of them and one 'uncle ' was always coming to see the lady. As usual they will do their lovey lovey and all. So one one day when the guy was leaving the little girl said uncle shay you heard what auntie said. She said if you don't buy suya for her when coming next she will not kiss you again. They probably thought the kids weren't listening or noticing

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  7. My aunt bought some stuffs for herself and didn't buy for her daughter, my niece told her mum that she will call her all her friends and tell them that she is no longer her mother and that she's looking for a new mum, and then she started calling me mum. ..

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  8. This is not what my two year old says but what she does. my eldest daughter clocked ten in April and I got her a ball gown. Since then my two year old baby won't wear any other clothes except gowns and she sings happy birthday song to herself and sometimes forces everyone to join her. She changes her dress more than four times in a day. Her wardrobe is constantly being arranged cos she pulls out her clothes looking for dresses to wear and acts like it's her birthday. It's over a month my daughter clocked ten but I don't see my baby getting over the birthday celebration anytime soon.

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    1. Oh bless! Absolutely adorable . You've got yourself quite the fashionista

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  9. my cousin's son asked the mum in my presece that,why is his dad peepee(dick) bigger than his own,that he saw him while dressing, my cousin was shocked and couldn't answer, I would have helped her to answer the innocent question, but I've never seen the dick in question, I don't know how big it is

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    1. lmao. so you sef wan see the father's dick, naughty you

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    2. Haha,nawa for you sef , the mother should have enlightened the boy, example the dads hand is also bigger cos he's an adult

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    3. You could have still helped out na, simple..because daddy is big and you're small.

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    4. Lol. You are crazy, wetin comsan uπŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

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    5. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  10. I was at the hospital one day and a Naija girl brought her
    14 year old daughter to kill the baby in her womb.😒😒😒😒😒

    The girls know a lot of (bad bad) things.
    How does it happen?
    Ajuju
    Naija mama go finish browsing fork for social mmebi
    she no go close page. Smallie go borrow mama phone
    make she "do assignment". E heee, she go continue from
    where her Naija girl mama stop, no be so?
    By age 5-8, girl don get well initiated into forka about
    and online fork.😒😒😒
    Naija girl dem dey get time teach child anything good? 😒😒😒
    ajuju n' ese okwu

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    1. You are sick and need help ASAP

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    2. 🀣🀣🀣🀣 Are you sure you don’t need help!?
      Like how can one person keep up with so much stupidity? You don’t get tired? You don’t think?

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  11. Recently I had a sit down discussion with my daughter on why she is still sucking at 5 years old. Her response was " Mummy. I dont want to sulk. But the right side of my brain is always telling me to sulk and my left brain will say stop sulking". God I laughed. While saying this she was hitting the head and explaining. Was just thinking what does this girl know of brains talk more of left and right brain.

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  12. I heard my son telling his sister that women do suffer when giving birth. He was telling her that she was going to suffer too cos she was a girl. He conconcluded by saying "Thank God I'm not a girl". My daughter started crying, that she won't give birth and he insisted that she must, giving her examples. My daughter came crying to me and I tried explaining to her, but she cried even more. I sha convinced her that she won't give birth to a baby if she doesn't want to and she stopped crying..

    I called my son and asked him where he heard that and he said his classmate told him.. I then and him if the classmate also told him how to get pregnant and he said " No o, should I ask him?" Lol... I quickly said no.. My daughter then said, if you pray God will give you a baby na.. Lol

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    1. Lol @ your daughter.. If only she knew.. Pray ko, kabash ni

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    2. Lmao. You will be shocked at how much gist kids have with each other

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    3. Lol. I used to think so too cos my mum would always tell me to pray to God whenever I asked for a baby

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  13. I just remembered this my two nieces yesterday and started laughing.
    The older one will be 6 this year while the younger one will be 4 this year.
    The older one T while on our way to church arround 2nd week of April said I don't know why mummy doesn't follow us and the younger one G responded she'll send us and stay at home. Meanwhile the mum goes to second service in another parish because of her position.

    Then last Sunday the Dad was home and everyone was going to attend a family friends child dedication in another station.
    So on our way to the church

    T. told her Dad to switch on the AC cos she was sitting at the back and she said she's hot. The Dad told her to shut up. In less that one minute she reminded her Dad. Immediately the Dad switched it on. Next thing she told her Dad to switch on the music and we started laughing. Meanwhile the Dad switched on the music. They next thing we heard was Dad increase the volume and the Dad did as she requested. The T girl is so strong willed that you can't scare her.

    Chinwe Uba

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  14. I put a reminder on my favourite programs(my 600IBS life).Program came up and interrupted their kiddies program. my son was pissed and I insisted on watching my programme and the this went down:
    Son: why do you like this programme though?
    Me: Cos it is educative and inspiring.
    Son: Really? 🀣🀣🀣🀣
    Me: Why the laughs?
    Son: Just wondering why it has not motivated you to loose some weight. Let me just go before you get mad at me. Maybe you want to be featured mom?
    Me: Angry Ke? it is your father that will be featured. I vex gaan ni oh

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    1. Haaaaaaaa please how old is this your son?




      *Larry was here*

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    2. Your boy is savage with his replies...I love watching that programming as well,it amazes me to see all that fat on just one body.

      LEPπŸ˜›

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  15. Stella your boys are confident and smart ..

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  16. My younger bro when he was five told our landlord's daughter "your father don come to collect house rent because month don end, but we ne dey see am when house dey leak" me and landlord daughter shock... I nearly squeezed his mouth that day.

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    1. Hahahahahahahaha. But he didn't lie nau

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    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  17. One sunday morning my then 3years old son looked at me and said,mumi,if I have a penis,my brother and dada has a penis,what do you have? For several minutes I was stunned. I finally had the courage to tell him viagina,your mummy has a viagina.then proceeded to give him sex education.i can't shout

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    1. Lucky you if u told him u also have penis ..he will discuss the same in school with other pupils. Imagine the rest of the drama Hahahahaha

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  18. My aunt out of anger called her daughter silly, the daughter replied with "mummy, I'm not a silly girl in Jesus name. Mummy that's bad language" my Aunt was just weak to reply

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  19. My son (3 years and 7month) and I are lying on my bed together he was sleeping,me am reading sdk blog and chewing gum all of a sudden he woke up and said mum am going to the parlour to sleep I said why ?he said you are restoping with chewing gum ...not even disturbing o...I introduce him to my cousin I said chi meet your uncle and aunt greet them say aunty goodevening,My son ask me mummy what are their names I said Peter and Esther,he said "Good evening Pete and Esther and ran to his room ..ah?this boy correct my English anywhere Any time without respect o or fear since he started this estate schools with school fees I can u see to buy land smh

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    1. Schoolfees I can use to buy land....Auto correct is crazy

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  20. I went to see my lovely cousin with my small nephew. My cousin has a daughter who was named after me. Immediately she saw me. She came to greet me. And l carried her up as usual. While in my arms. She asked. God mother, who is this person with you. I told her he is my son. The girl struggled and left my arms. While standing. She looked me in the eyes and shouted. God mother you are a big lier. You don't have a child. When did you get pregnant?. I was shocked. I felt ashamed of myself. I was TTC then. If not that l loved my cousin so much. I will have stopped going to their house.

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  21. Remembered when I was in naija a father told his daughter of about 4 yrs to get him dirty rag to clean his shoe and she was like daddy how can you use a dirty rag do you want to dirty your shoe or clean it.the mother just looked the father and said to him but Na true this child talk o

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  22. There's a woman I buy stuff from on my street,my boy stays with her if I need to go get some other stuff elsewhere. She wears one artificial leg. So this day, I got back and saw her laughing real hard and she said, oh, I never knew your boy could talk this much. She said my three year old boy asked her what she was wearing one her leg( I really wonder how he noticed cos she's always wearing long dresses), so she now explained to him that its an artificial leg, bla bla bla. She said after her explanation, my boy just looked at her, and said, 'hmn, don't match me o', lol.
    I had a baby after him that I lost at birth, so one day, I was lost in thoughts about the whole hospital process that led to the child's death. Just as I made for the chair to sit and think very well, he passed by, turned and saw me, then placed a hand on my shoulder and said 'hmn? I love you now, I love you' as if trying to say don't cry again or something.

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    1. Lol @ don't match me o, he knows the pains from the match won't be easy.

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    2. I tell u. Hahahahaha don't match d little boy

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    3. Awww he must have noticed your sadness

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  23. Anytime we are watching movie,when they get to the kissing part,I always tell the kids to close their eyes which they usually do. This day I was in the kitchen when my boy ran from the sitting room shouting,"mummy mummy, they were kissing in the TV but I closed my eyes" Everybody started laughing.

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  24. A friend daughter was sick an they took hero see the clinic. The daughter now gave her drugs and told her to use them so that she can be fine. The girl said it's not drugs,it medication....The Dr. Was laughing and the father said ti ba gba eti e. You are sick and you have the strength to Correct someone.

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  25. My 3 year old daughter woke me up to pray. She insisted I must sit or kneel. She was really persistent. I started praying and God opened my eyes to see things.

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  26. My kids are really smart. They say a lot of things that are too numerous to mention. They started talking before they clocked 2.

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  27. My aunty was pregnant with her 6th child so they asked the youngest 4 to stay with us and left the first child alone with the mother. They had no idea their mum was pregnant (only the first child). on a Sunday morning, the husband called us and said his wife gave birth o. The kids were shocked and started asking if their mum was pregnant. That evening, we were seated in the living room, then my 4 year old cousin said absentmindedly "the baby will think see ****(their sister's name) and think she's the second child o, when she sees the remaining 4 she'll shout "eje jesu, Ashe a ti Δ™ po bayii" I.E blood of Jesus, so we're even much like this.
    at that moment, we stopped what we were doing and looked at her. I mean she's just four years old

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    Replies
    1. Hehehe.....I laughed so hard I had tears coming out. No be small eje Jesu ashe e ti e po bayi....6th child in this day and age....contraceptive is free at the general hospital and health centres. Kilode....they wan born football team

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    2. 🀣🀣🀣

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    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    4. A fi αΊΉ̀jαΊΉ̀ JΓ©sΓΉ. May be she has pity for the incoming last born of how it feels to be the last amidst 5 elders.

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  28. Hahahaha nah real eje Jesu

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  29. My sister shared what her colleague's daughter of 3yrs did when a Husband and wife visited their house. The girl's parents brought out a bottle of Malt and Star.
    Baby C . Gave the wife Malt and the Husband Star . Till date when I remember this story I still wonder how she knew who was to consume what became the live on my street.

    Chinwe Uba

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  30. My niece said to my mum "Grandma you are always calling my mum baby, she is not baby she is mummy G is baby" G is her baby bro. My mum replied her with "Nwa teacher, G is your mummy's baby, and your mummy is my own baby" she tried to process the whole thing, but it didn't make sense to her so she said instead " Grandma you don't know anything!" My mum feigned anger and made like she wants to hit her, she ran away laughing, after sometime she came back and asked my mum what "nwa teacher" meant, my mum said the same thing to her "you don't know anything too" and we all laughed, but she didn't find it funny, she started crying, my sis was like "why are you crying?" She said "grandma said I don't know anything!" Sobbing harder, so my sis reminded her that she started it, and should apologize to her grandma so grandma can apologize to her. She went to my mum and said sorry and demand that she should apologize too, that one said "oya oh ndoo, urenma ndoo ka okwu bizie"

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  31. I told my young man to take one Mango. By the time I checked back, he has eaten 4. I asked him why. He said he is 4 years old

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  32. hmmm when my little brother as about 3/4/5 my dad's cousin brought his GF who just got pregnant to visit us for d 1st time. some weeks later, he came with his wife and my brother actually said something along the lines of "aunty is it bcos uncle have another aunty that he used to do muah muah that's why he doesn't love u again?" to the wife.

    Omo our parlour scatter that day!! Everybody wanted to hide! The husband started begging! I pitied her sha cos they've been TTC for years, I think they married 1 or 2 yrs after my parents. At least she found her way, I learnt she had a child and the cousin has like 5 kids now with the same lady.

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    1. Your lil brother is the real alakobaπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  33. God bless all your kids in Jesus name. God bless me with a good wife and money.I want to have my own child!

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  34. We went to the zoo and my 10years old daughter on seeing two chimpanzee huddled together innocenly asked her dad if they were having sex.

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    1. Hian! This one off me 🀐

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  35. my father in law cheats and my child see and tells her granny but granny doesnt understand cos she calls all elders granny

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